special agent mike warren

Marie, you really don’t have to worry about bugging me. You don’t need to apologize. If I didn’t want to respond to your messages, I wouldn’t have this blog.

Didn’t even act like we were supposed to hang out until I casually asked her why we didn’t a few days later. It was almost like hanging out with me wasn’t important enough to be remembered. And then I left the country to study abroad and didn’t hear a peep out of her, my supposed sister and best friend of 14 years. Like she didn’t care that I’d be gone for almost half a year. Like she would have in June or May of this year. It hurts more than anything bc this change came out of nowhere. There weren’t any little signs beforehand; she just started cutting me off and I had no idea why. Before July we still hung out like old times, and called and texted and were as close as ever. But then things changed in July and I don’t know why. She still acts normally with her other friends but it’s different with me. I don’t know what I could have done. We’ve always been there for each other and now she doesn’t answer my messages. We’ve gone from sisters to acquaintances and it’s killing me, Mike. I’ve talked to her about this once awhile ago and she said we were fine but her actions are speaking louder than her words. I’m so so sorry to bother you with this, Mike. But could I get a hug and some much needed advice? -Marie

Marie, don’t ever think that your problems aren’t as important as everyone else’s. I know how badly it hurts to lose a best friend, and it’s not easy to think that it’s somehow about you. Take a breath, though, and take a step back. The two of you went through a lot together, I’m sure, and I know this relationship is really important to you. Sometimes, people change and need space. They think that changing means that they have to change everything — friends included. And that sucks. But it’s not fair to let yourself sit in the pain that she’s created. You can grieve a loss, but at a certain point, you have to let yourself live again. Your life can’t be about her, and it can’t be about your relationship with her, even though it sucks to hear. It’s always good to have strong relationships in your life, but you have to put you first. You are the one person that will always be there for you — even though we need to comfort ourselves with saying that there will always be someone there for us, we’re all human and we all make mistakes or have asshole moments. Everyone has a time (or multiple times) in their life when they’re alone.

That being said, keep in mind that you are not alone. You have me.

My advice would be to think of something that you love — music or a show or a movie or a musical, comic books or cosplay or charity work — and focus on that. Try to let that bring joy into your life. As for the friend, you can always still care about her and love her. Send her a quick message, if you want, to let her know that you care about her very much and will always be there for her, and then let her go. Let that be the end, unless she wants to reach out to you. She may be going through something that’s made her curl inwards and cut off — it happens. But don’t bet on that — bet on this being a split. Things happen so that you can go down the path you’re meant to. Think of high school — you may have dated someone that you thought was the absolute love of your life, and when you broke up, it seemed like the hardest thing ever, but you know now that the both of you are on the path to find the right person. If you tried to hold onto that guy or girl, they wouldn’t be able to get to their person.

Allow yourself to be set free so that you can find your people. Those people who will be there through everything. Certain friends make us look back on our childhoods with good memories, and that’s it. They’re not going to be there for the future. But they made our lives good while they could, and now things have changed. If you think about it, you want your old friend back. This new girl is not someone you want to be friends with. She’s not who you were sisters with so long ago. She’s changed. You’re gonna find someone who fits with you now — just give them a little time to show up.

Thanks, anon. Everything’s looking up for now! I’m glad to be back.

Hope you're all having a good Friday and that your weekend is great! Don't forget that I'm here if anyone needs to talk.

I'd like to start off with a huge apology. I know I haven't been around for a while (Ten months, to be exact. Wow, Mike. Way to be an asshole...), and I'm really sorry about that. Some things have been going on in my life that've made it hard for me to reach out, because I've been focused more inwardly.

However, I am back. Please bear with, seeing as my replies to messages -- if I receive any -- could be slow. I'm still adjusting to new things and my internet time has decreased significantly. But I am here, and I do still want to help.

Also, I know I've got a few messages that I never got around to -- if anyone submitted something to me and never got a response, I've most likely still got your message and I would love to try to help still, if you want. Just get back to me and let me know if you still need some advice, and I'll take a whack at answering.

Once again, I'm really sorry for disappearing for so long. I hope you all understand.

Much love, Mike

Hi, anon.

Without much detail, the only thing I can say is that it is your life and whatever you do is your choice to make, and not your family's. But that also means that the consequences, whatever they may be, are yours to handle, too. Your family can't be held responsible, because they've told you they don't want to be involved, etc. Because it is your life, however, they are your choices to make. Ultimately, whatever you want to do is what you can do. It may not be what you should do, but you can do it if it's what you want to do.

Hey, Kristen! There's a suicide online hotline called IMAlive that you can visit, and TheHopeLine is a faith-based online chat resource you can visit, too.

Anon! I hope you enjoyed the show! I'm so sorry I didn't have time to answer before. But I hope it was incredible!

Well, you should definitely get a ton of sleep after you finish your exams! You deserve it. You could probably just hibernate throughout the break.

I'm sorry I haven't been around lately. I've been really busy, and I'm still pretty busy right now, but by mid-week next week, I should be around a lot more. Don't think I haven't seen your messages or that I don't care, because I have seen them and I do care, I just haven't had much time to give you the answers you deserve.

I'm gonna do my best to get around to the messages I've got as soon as I can.