go straight to hell boy

Coming from the Clubhouse after having a few to drink, Seth heads out to his car to find another pack of cigarettes, knowing that he’s bound to run through them. On his way back he finds someone darkening the curb in front of the Clubhouse. His paranoia ends up getting the best of him, thinking it was time for another peak at the Rogues. To his dismay, it’s Adrian rather than his chance at revenge. He’s not sure which would be worse, since Seth’s been actively avoiding Adrian these days. Being Seth’s version of nice to him was bound to be difficult, being more than Seth’s version of nice and being future Best Man at Finn’s side was another thing. So avoidance seemed to be a better plan. Clearly, the universe had other plans. “Yeah, I got one,” he says, digging in his pocket for the now mostly-empty pack. “What’re you doin’ out here? We ain’t good enough in there? Ain’t you lookin’ to be an Old Man? Gonna be a lot more where this comes from.”

-

Adrian pulls himself to his feet and as soon as his legs aren’t wrapped in his coat and he feels the cold air seep into his torn jeans, he regrets it. He takes the lighter with a mumbled, “thanks” before striking it against the tip of his cigarette. When he hands it back, Adrian pulls his jacket tighter around himself. “Finn said he’d be right back,” Adrian offers the best explanation he can, trying not to roll his eyes at the accusation that he thinks somehow above their little clubhouse. “Guess he got side tracked. I didn’t want to get in anyone’s way.” There’s something about the way Seth insists that he’s only looking to be an Old Man, when he’s already got the ink that’s supposed to elevate him to that status, rubs him the wrong way but he does his best to let it roll off of him. They’re too connected, between Finn and Emme, for him to feed the animosity. “You good? Looked like you came out here on a mission.”

-

Finn holds Adrian’s gaze, not tempted to look away until he does. He passed the microphone off without looking to who and for all he cared the room could carry on amongst themselves. This was their moment, and they could sit in it as long as they wanted. A soft chuckle fell from his lips. His words came out soft and quiet. “Ade, I’m a simple guy, ye know that. I need a straight yes or no.” He let his forehead rest against Adrian’s, a hand caressing either side of his face.  Finn had gotten in too much trouble making assumptions, and this was one thing he didn’t want to assume. Even if Adrian wasn’t running, it didn’t mean he was agreeing to marry him.

He leaned forward to place a lingering kiss on the other man’s lips and ran his thumb along them when he pulled away. His eyes moved between each of the chestnut hues locked with his. “I love you.” Finn shook his head at his next question. “We can stay here the rest of the night if you let me get off my knees.” He teased, but he couldn’t deny the tiled bar floor was starting to take its toll. Likely a magic killer, but it was true all the same. 

“Were you surprised?” He asked, pulling both of them off the floor to the chair Adrian had occupied before Finn had got on stage. Something more forgiving, and he could pull the other man onto his lap to hold him there for as long as he wanted to sit with him. Adrian was sure to go be a social butterfly soon enough, and Finn would make his rounds then. Or let people come to him. For now they could come over and talk to them if they wanted their attention.

“Yes! Absolutely.” he laughs. He pushes his palms ineffectively against Finn’s chest. “How fucked up would it be if I said no after all this? I’m going to marry shit outta you.” Adrian is absolutely giddy, better than any high he’s ever had. 

Adrian let’s Finn pull him to his feet and for the first time in what feels like hours, he remembers that there are other people around them, at a party that Finn had organized just for this. He waves at their friends, incapable of feeling embarrassed for the unbreakable smile on his face. “We’re getting married!” he shouts. And after a round of applause, the entertainment is back on track with someone taking the stage. 

He slips easily into Finn’s lap, arms wrapped around his shoulders. “I had no idea. This was great.” And as much fun as it’s been, all Adrian wants to do now is be alone together. “You pulled it off babe.”

When Adrian hears footsteps on the hardwood stairs, he’s thankful that he’s taken to putting on a shirt and gym shorts when he comes downstairs in the middle of the night. Adapting to living with someone who isn’t used to seeing him mostly naked had been an adjustment that he was happy to make for the person he expects to see at the landing of the stairs in front of him. 

“Sneaking out?” Adrian smirks at the prospect. He throws back a few Aspirin for the nagging headache he’s had all night and chases it with a drink of water from the sink. It amused him how much he felt, in that moment, like the father of a teenager. Of course, Angel and Todd are both adults and her friends are free to come and go as they please. “Didn’t even realize you were still here.”

November is the worst fucking month of the year, Adrian decides as he sits on the curb in front of the clubhouse, waiting for Finn to finish up. It gets dark too fucking early and it’s just cold enough and dry enough in Louisiana that his lips start to chap as soon as there’s even a hint of a chilly breeze. The sun had already been a distant memory by the time they left the studio for the night with a quick detour to the clubhouse on the way home. 

He’d stepped out of the car to smoke only to find that his lighter was dead and now he’s just too lazy to get up and move back to the car. Instead he pulls his legs close enough against his chest so that he can zip his oversized jacket around them. The cigarette still dangles idly from his lips. When the door opens behind him, he expects to see Finn trotting out and straight for the car. Instead, when Adrian turns around his shoulders slump to see Seth towering over him instead. “Don’t guess you’ve got a lighter on you?” he asks, because he might as well.

Adrian hasn’t been back to Calliope since he quit. Not much of a reason to spend time in a restaurant he couldn’t really afford to eat at. That’s less the case now that his main source of income is no longer simply being a male dancer in a hick strip club. He at least makes enough now to grab an early dinner at the bar while he waits for Finn to get done with whatever club business he has to take care of. 

“Hey,” he calls over to Harper when he sees her emerge from the familiar swinging door. “They’re letting you escape the kitchen? Must be a slow night.”

✽

Emme clicks her tongue at Adrian, shaking her head when he argues that there are people who deserve things more than he does. Instinctively, she wants to argue with him and tell him how wrong he is but he doesn’t give her a chance. Instead, she’s taken slightly aback by the shift in the air, the seriousness that clouds Adrian’s features now despite the smile still stretched across his face. Emme can’t blame him for his question, though — after all, she has been asking herself the same question, hasn’t she? Still, she frowns and sighs quietly, hand running through her hair. “I’m always with you,” she repeats her words from before for emphasis. “Always. Even if I’m not here.” Her teeth sink into her lip momentarily, shifting her weight on her heels. “I’m not planning on going anywhere though — at least… Not right now.” Obviously she can’t make any promises for the future, considering how things have been going lately. If she feels like her she and her daughter’s are going to be in the middle of danger or become targets of any kind? That would change things — she would be out of town before anyone had a chance to stop her. But for right now, she’s still trying to wrap her head around what happened and what it means for her and whether or not she can feel safe in Olympus. She’s working on it, that’s all she can promise anyone for now. “Best Maid of Honor though… I like the sound of that.”

-

Adrian isn’t going to bring up the break in he’d heard about at Seths. But he can’t help thinking, somewhere in the back of his mind, that he wouldn’t blame her for deciding to cut and run after something like that. After all, he’d had his own harrowing experiences of being held captive a little over a year ago and he’d been ready to run away from any possibility of it ever happening again. If it hadn’t been for Finn, he’d have left town and never looked back. He feels the smile on his face become weighted. Like something is trying to drag the corners of his lips back down. 

“It’s got a nice ring to it right right?” he says, forcing the thought from his mind. He’s absolutely not going to dwell on those memories tonight. “I just want you up there with me. And I’m sure Finn is gonna have Seth so...” Adrian trails off with a knowing wink. “Did you see he even dragged my parents out to this? He’s so surprised that they like him. As if my mom has ever met someone she didn’t immediately adopt into the family. You seen her yet? She’s been asking about you and the kids. I can only hold her off for so long.”

✽

Emme instinctively hugs Adrian back, giving him a tight squeeze and letting her hand linger on his shoulder as they pull apart and look at each other. He looks happier than she can ever remember seeing him before and that makes her happier than she can ever remember being, her chest bursting with genuine joy for her friend. Her own smile mirrors his, wide and bright, as Adrian talks about how he hadn’t expected to ever have a life like this. She would be lying if she didn’t agree with him — Adrian’s life hadn’t exactly been a road paved for a white picket fence ending. Most of the time she was just relieved to hear his voice on the other of the phone at all because that meant he was still alive and anything beyond that had just been a bonus. But now that he is on the other side of things, his biggest demons behind him, she’s filled with a sense of pride because if anyone deserves to have something good come around it’s Adrian.

“I knew you always had it in you,” she counters him, teasing a little. Adrian, despite everything, has a big heart with plenty of love to give and Emme is ecstatic to see that someone is finally giving him that same love back in return. “It’s nice though, right? I love this — seeing you happy, getting to settle down with someone who treats you right. You deserve it more than anyone that I know.” Emme’s idea of marriage is, obviously, skewed and she doesn’t think she ever wants to go down that road again but she knows that not ever marriage is doomed to fall apart like hers had. She has seen enough people make it work and there is no doubt in her mind that Adrian and Finn will be one of the ones to do the same. She softens when he thanks her, shaking her head. “Don’t go getting me all emotional,” she laughs softly, pushing on his shoulder gently. “I’m always going to be here for you. Always, no matter what. Especially for things like this.”

-

It still feels so surreal and Adrian is hyperaware of the band around his ring finger. His thumb fidgets with the pendant, feeling the lines and curves of the design. He’s floating. He’s glowing. He’s radiating. He’s ever single over-wrought cliche that you can slap on a person who is just so deliriously fucking happy. “There are definitely people who deserve things a lot more than I do,” he argues in the way that he does when he can’t stop himself from deflecting accomplishment with self-deprecation. But tonight it’s toothless and trivial because nothing, not even himself, can bring him down right now.

Adrian clears his throat. His face still lit up with a smile, but his eyes are a little more serious. “I gotta ask... are you planning to stick around for a while?” he says. She’s got kids and this isn’t the best place to raise them but at least one of them’s got a dad here. And Adrian would never blame Emme for getting her and the kids the fuck outta here. Not when shit hits the fans once a month. But as soon as there was a ring on his finger, the thought had burrowed in Adrian’s head and it had no intentions of leaving until he asked her. “I mean... because I need you with me. Best Maid of Honor or whatever. We’ll figure out gendered titles later but you’re my oldest friends. And you’ve seen me through the worst parts of, well, everything. I want you to be here for the best, too.”

-

“I don’t know, dude. Blame the - what are they? Swedish? Their simple, picture instructions are too advanced for our little American brains,” Angel chuckles, but truth be told, Adrian’s completely right. The shit was confusing from the start, and she clearly wasn’t much help with the whole screw trapped underneath her thigh thing. But really, it’s all funny, and she’s having fun, even though she momentarily relinquished her assisting duties in favor of folding clothes. With her back turned to Adrian, her smile grows brighter and wider and more deeply genuine. Just as they’re happy to have her, she couldn’t be happier to be here. “Okay,” She nods, tossing a folded pair of basketball shorts back onto the bed. 

“He didn’t have to tell me!” Angel whips around with a laugh, facing Adrian. “He walked in here like in a towel, and he was shocked to see me. And he asked me like how long I’d been here, and I was like ‘two weeks?’ He looked confused,” She laughs again, the sound of her laughter settling into a shrug. “I really fucking appreciate it. I can’t like right now, but I want to help out around here. Bills, rent, groceries, whatever. I wanna help.”

-

Adrian bites his lips together to keep from laughing, hearing the other side of Finn’s embarrassment. “I have extremely clear memories if telling him about all of this,” he insists. “And, shockingly, my sober brain is better at actually keeping track of memories these days so I’m gonna go ahead and claim that victory.”

He lays a piece of pressboard across his lap and goes to work screwing in the last track. “I don’t want you to feel like you owe us anything for this,” he tells her. “I never thought I’d be in a place where I could help someone get out of a bad situation. But, I’ve got that chance now and I just want you to focus on getting back on your feet. You know? What ever that looks like for you. And then if you wanna help out or something you can talk to Finn about it. Because let’s be honest he’s the breadwinner and I’m just the bimbo arm candy.” 

-

His heart felt like it would beat straight out of his chest. For once in his life, it was for a good reason- at least he hoped it would end well. Finn stared up at Adrian, and the few seconds between his question and Adrian’s reaction might as well have been a lifetime. Then all of a sudden the other man’s hand dropped from his mouth and he saw the laughter. A look of relief washed over him. He happily wrapped the arm with the ring box still in hand around his waist, the other hand on the side of his head. As cheesy as it was to think about, from the time their mouths collided it felt like the room melted away into the distance and they were in their own moment away from everyone else. 

He pulled back just enough to rest his forehead against Adrian’s and rubbed at his face with his thumb. “So- was that a yes?” He murmured, a corner of his mouth raised in a half smile. Finn waited a moment and pulled back more to wipe at the moisture from Adrian’s cheeks. A glance over to the crowd and he looked back. “I mean, your parents are here if ye need a quick escape.” He joked, letting out a breath of a laugh. Finn was half surprised they showed up, but was pleased to see their faces among their other friends and family. The warmth of the room was almost overwhelming in an environment that had been cold for so long, and a past that was even colder. But, that was one of the many things he loved about Adrian- the warmth he brought into his every day and the way he could make him smile or laugh with little effort. 

“I love you so fuckin’ much, you’re everything babe. Fuckin’ everything.”

-

This is something Adrian is certain he’s never felt before. Just the pure and simple joy of loving someone and having them love you back and having that feeling drown everything else in the world out. For a moment, Adrian is a different person entirely. He’s not the junkie street rat that Finn scrapped off of rock bottom a year ago. It’s almost like that person never existed. All Adrian can wrap his head around right now is Finn and a ring and the concept of being more to someone than just a problem to deal with or a toy to take advantage of. 

In this moment, Adrian feels like he’s come to life for the first time.

His eyes meet Finn’s and he knows he should hug his parents but he can’t break himself away from Finn’s gaze. His fiance’s gaze. His soon-to-be-husband’s gaze. “I told you I’m not running, remember?” He says, the flash of a memory that smells of smoke and tastes like danger still fresh in his mind like it happened yesterday. The first promise he’d ever made.

“I love you,” he answers, his voice lighter than it’s ever been. “How long can I just keep you here before we have to talk to other people?” Because they’d engulfed each other in a bubble in front of all their friends and family and Adrian can’t imagine letting go just yet.

closed for @adrianhcndrix​

setting: the bar, post-finndrian engagement

It goes without saying that Emme isn’t really doing well. The events of the last few weeks have left her feeling drained, both physically and emotionally and all Emme really wants to do is curl up at home until she feels better. Except… well that isn’t really true either, is it? That’s just the way she thinks she should feel. In reality, that familiar urge to run is back again and clawing it’s way up her spine. Distance is what fixes things, a voice in the back of her mind reminds her. Every instinct at her reminds her how unsafe this town really is, even if she’d let herself believe for a time that that wasn’t true, and with that comes the urge to pack up the girls and leave again. Not necessarily back to Stillwater — preferably not, if she’s being honest — but somewhere else. Maybe somewhere sunnier, she’d thought. Maybe Annie won’t hold it against her if they move again if they move to the beach. Emme pushes that urge down though, stomps on it until it’s almost gone because she knows, despite everything, she can’t. 

She can’t go down that path again at all but especially tonight. Tonight she had managed to pull herself together and go down to the bar where Finn had been planning to propose to Adrian and Emme had, somehow, managed to keep herself from spilling the beans. She’s never been particularly good at keeping secrets and so she’d been, admittedly, a little worried that the moment she saw Adrian she would blurt out ‘you’re getting engaged tonight’ but somehow, thank God, she hadn’t. And that had been very, very worth it to watch the entire thing play out. A warmth settles in her chest and her smile widens even more when she finds Adrian a little while later, “You’re practically glowing,” she points out and it’s true. Emme has noticed it more and more often since she came back — all of the changes in his life have left Adrian with a soft glow to him, reminding her so much of the young kid she used to sing showtunes with when they were fourteen. Sometimes that glow is brighter than others and tonight? Her oldest friend may as well be one of the neon signs on the wall. “I’m really happy for you — and I’m happy for me because you have no idea how hard this was to keep a secret.” Not that Emme knew all of the details when it came to the night, but Finn had showed her pictures at disco night and she’s been practically biting a hole in her tongue to keep her mouth shut ever since.   

-

As soon as he sees her, Adrian wraps his arms around Emme’s shoulders. “I also can’t believe you knew and didn’t spill,” he laughs, the smile on his face feels like one that’s never going to go away. He’s happy. Like, really and truly happy. It’s a feeling that vibrates from inside his cells and through his skin. And to top everything off, Emme is here for all of it. So when she tells him he’s glowing, Adrian actually imagines himself lit up like a nightlight in the dim bar. 

“Thank you,” he says, pulling back so he can look at her. “I didn’t think I’d ever do all this. Like, a house, a husband, a twenty-three year old we accidentally adopted living in our spare room.” He feels a lump swell in his throat, the corners of his eyes welling up just a little. “I mean, it kinda feels like a finish line. Something I earned, you know? And I think there are a hundred times I wouldn’t have made it through if it weren’t for you. So, thanks for that. And thanks for being here for this.” 

Adrian clearly didn’t appreciate this line of conversation but Cal didn’t particularly care. What had he expected? That he could just disappear for a year, fully no contact, and Cal would just be fine with it? That certainly wasn’t how things were going to play out as Adrian had no doubt noticed. 

“An apology would be nice.” Cal snapped, since Adrian had asked. He figured he deserved that much, at least, and that also seemed obvious to Cal. “No one shoots up in my bathrooms, thank you.” That wasn’t the kind of business Cal was trying to run or the experience he offered. Yes, he knew drug deals happened, but they happened discreetly, or at least that’s very much how Cal tried to keep it. He realised that he was in some way missing the point and not really listening but it was hard to listen when he was so irritated. “Congratulations. Perhaps I could’ve applauded you for that had I not been completely cut off.” In a way, Cal did mean it. It was good if Adrian was getting his life together but the implication that he had to do that entirely without Cal…well, it stung a little. “Perhaps I wouldn’t have hurt feelings if you’d bothered to call or even text and explain that’s what was happening instead of suddenly disappearing. Did you think I would try to stop you?” All right, maybe it stung more than a little. He bit back a longer diatribe. Did Adrian think he was such a hedonistic narcissist that he would intentionally harm or hinder someone trying to quit that lifestyle? That he would purposely lure him into situations that would tempt him? Cal didn’t like that assumption at all but he was trying very hard not to show it. 

No one shoots up in my bathrooms. Adrian doesn’t bother hiding the dramatic eye-roll at that. “I’ve got a couple track marks that beg to differ, if you wanna see ‘em,” he says, pretending to roll up the cuff of his hoodie before letting his arms fall back to his sides. “Don’t act so offended by the concept. Not like you’ve got security guys in the stalls to stop it.”

Cal’s ranting makes Adrian’s skin crawl and sets him on harder the defensive the longer he listens to it. Most of his adult life had been shaped by the interrogations of possessive and controlling men. A cop in Chicago had once berated him with the same questions every time he kept his distance for more than a day. A biker in Olympus had threatened to kick him out back on the streets every time he was late getting home from work. Adrian has spent so much of his life as an object of other peoples’ control and he can’t go back there. “You know what?” he says, shoving his hands into the front pouch of his jacket, “This isn’t really about you. I made decisions that were good for me. I cut a lot of people off because people mean access and I needed to not have access. It was good for me.” Adrian’s voice picks up an edge, a bite of hostility when he continues. “I’m sorry you were a casualty of me getting my life together. But, you know? Instead of being happy or proud that I did actually get my life together, you’re lashing out because your ego’s a little bruised. You’re sounding a lot like a possessive boyfriend right now and I’ve had enough of those in my life. I don’t need another one.”

"Depends on how my work day went. I've started cooking dinner after work and I really like doing that. Especially now that Angel's living with us. If I can wrangle her and Finn to the dining room table for dinner, that's always nice."

"No. Not even a little. Not to sound like a dramatic cliche but he's the best thing that's ever happened to me. I don't think it's unrealistic to say that I'd be dead right now without him."

"Uh... Reina'd kill me if I said I'd marry her, but she's definitely who I'm going with. Something about people who are hot and mean to me has always been my weakness. So that leaves Kit, who I'd fuck. He's hot. And I dunno Jodie so I guess I'm killing her."

"I'm gonna try real hard not to fuck it up. Finn's forgiven me for... a lot. I don't wanna keep testing his patience. And I've been on a pretty good streak lately. Keeping my shit together, staying away from everything and everyone that usually leads to fuck ups. I dunno. I've got good people around me these days and I'm doing my best. It's been a lot easier lately, you know? Keeping it all together."

"It's been different things at different points in my life. I thought money could fix me when I was younger. And maybe it could have if I'd ever gotten my hands on enough to really make a difference. Health is something I should be more worried about considering... everything. I haven't done myself any favors over the years. But right now? I'm happy. In a way that makes me feel like I've never actually been happy before this so? I guess that's what I care about right now."

"I want to be able to say that I wouldn't change anything. I mean, I've been through a lotta shit but it's like they say, like, I wouldn't be where I am without all that. I'm happy with where I ended up. I don't want to change anything in my life the way it is now. But... I'm an addict. I've hurt a lot of people and a lot of people have hurt me. I think if I could fix things--stuff with my parents, people I screwed over or put in dangerous situations, people I manipulated to get what I want. If I had the change to go back and not hurt people, I think I should probably do that, right? Even if it means fucking up where I am now? I wanna be the kind of person who would do that, I think."