The Adam Jacobson Blog

Yesterday, in a Daily Beast article about how little attention legislators are paying to NSA-related breaking news, Senator Lindsey Graham was quoted as saying, “I don’t really know about what they’re saying in the paper. I know [NSA intelligence-gathering] is necessary. We’re at war with radical Islam.”

Great ad from Amnesty International and Iggy Pop. Text reads:

“The future of rock and roll is Justin Bieber”

“Torture a man, and he will tell you anything”

Hey, comedy-funny types! Are you eager to record a parody version of the hit song "Let It Go" from the animated Disney children's movie "Frozen," but are stumped for a hilarious idea? Well, I've got you covered! Below is a list of other three-syllable phrases that could be the title of your hilarious groundbreaking Youtube video. They're all free, but if you get internet famous, it would be cool of you to mention my name in interviews.

"Go Away" (If you think that the hit song "Let It Go" from the animated Disney children's movie "Frozen" is too ubiquitous and wish everyone would stop playing it so much)

"Slow It Down" (About how the hit song "Let It Go" from the animated Disney children's movie "Frozen" is too fast)

"Speed It Up" (About how the hit song "Let It Go" from the animated Disney children's movie "Frozen" is too slow)

"Let It Snow" (If you want it to snow)

"Put That Down" (A song maybe about parents telling children to put down things which they shouldn't be touching)

"Shut It Up" and/or "Shut Up You" and/or "Shut Your Face" (A song telling someone to shut up, possibly the singer of the hit song "Let It Go" from the animated Disney children's movie "Frozen")

"Let Me Go" (If you are being held captive by someone or something, possibly the singer of the hit song "Let It Go" from the animated Disney children's movie "Frozen," and want to be let go)

"Hey, Come Here" (If someone is far away and you want them to come closer to you)

"Godzilla" (If you want to sing a song about one or more than one film in the popular monster movie franchise, possibly the newest iteration, starring accomplished "Breaking Bad" actor Bryan Cranston)

"Jesus Christ" (If you want to sing a song about one or more than one film in the popular religious movie franchise, possibly the newest iteration ... Just kidding, you could sing about the Bible)

"Left or Right" (A song to teach children about their left and right)

"Mom or Dad" (A song about children having to decide which parent to go with in divorce proceedings. This is a sad one)

"It Was Fine" (A song for girlfriends to sing their boyfriends after a lackluster lovemaking session. Or vice versa! Equality)

"You Again?" (Surprised to see someone again? This is the perfect parody of the hit song "Let It Go" from the animated Disney children's movie "Frozen" for you)

"Come On Man" (A song about when you're trying to get on the subway, but there's a guy standing right in the door, and he doesn't move or anything, and there's a ton of people trying to get on and off and he's in everybody's way and doesn't even turn sideways or step into the car or even out of the car to let people past. Like, come on, man)

"There It Is" (A song about when you find something you were looking for)

"It's A Me" (A song about how Mario from Nintendo's Super Mario Brothers video game franchise says "It's a me, Mario!")

"There's No God" and/or "God Is Dead" (A song about your belief that there is no God and/or God is Dead. As if your friends and family weren't already sick of you talking about it all the time)

"Spider-Man" and/or "Superman" and/or "It's Batman" (This one would be huge. People on the internet love stuff about superheroes who have movies about them)

"The Last One" (A song about the last one in a series of things or concepts)

You may remember earlier this year, when Egyptian state prosecutors questioned the heads of the Egyptian telecom company Vodaphone, all because a blogger said that one of their commercials (which featured a puppet looking for a missing SIM card) was coded terrorist messages. In a wonderful coda, the blogger then vowed on television to send the puppet (Abla Fahita, or Aunt Fajita) to prison.

Well, if that didn't quench your "Weird Egyptian Conspiracy Theory" thirst, you're in luck! Here's another shot, via The New York Times:

During a recent broadcast on the Egyptian television channel Al Tahrir, the anchor Rania Badawy alerted viewers to what she called video evidence which “suggests that what is happening in Syria today was premeditated.” She then presented an 80-second clip from an episode of “The Simpsons” first broadcast in early 2001 and later dubbed into French and posted on YouTube.

After screening the animated clip — a parody of a music video that includes images of bombs being dropped on fighters in Middle Eastern dress — the anchor pointed out that the cartoon soldiers drawn in 2001 were pictured in a jeep decorated with a version of the Syrian flag that opposition protesters and rebels started waving in 2011. “The flag was created before the events took place,” Ms. Badawy asserted. “That’s why people are saying on Facebook that this is a conspiracy — in 2001, there was no such thing as the flag of the Syrian opposition.”

The incriminating frame is below: 

Badawy claims that this animated frame is evidence of the United States' hand in a conspiracy to start the Syrian civil war.

It does indeed match the Syrian opposition flag. It's also pretty similar to the regular Syrian national flag. One could, if sane enough, imagine this as a coincidence, say, if you were an animator who didn't do his/her homework or wanted to distinguish a flag in your cartoon just enough so that it didn't look like Bart Simpson and pals were bombing Syria.

According to the report, the number of Al Qaeda affiliates has multiplied as the group  decentralizes and fractures, but many of these have entirely regional ambitions, and not all pose a threat to the United States. Which of the dozens of groups identified in the report does the Obama administration believe pose a threat to the United States; and with which are we at war?  The administration still won’t say.