She Writes

“She's dead?"

I couldn't stand to look at the pain in his eyes anymore so I tried to focus on the imaginary lint on my jeans while he took a moment to get things straight in his head.

"FUCK!" Logan shouted standing up to pace the office looking for something hit. He was completely losing it. I knew I shouldn't but something inside said to go to him, comfort him.

"Logan?" It was barely a whisper but I couldn't get much sound around the lump in my throat. I stalked him sort of like a lion stalks its prey, afraid to get too close but not being able to stay away either. "Logan." This time I said it with a little more force in my voice. He kept mumbling words that I couldn't make out. He was stuck in his own world. I had to get him out of that place the only way I knew how.

I grabbed him by the shoulders, righting him so we were face to face. He was still mumbling only quieter now. I pulled him closer to me, our chest pressed up against each other. His smelled wrapped around us drawing me in to him. I couldn't help raking my eyes over him. I could tell every movement his muscles made; they felt amazing as my hands ran up over them. My eyes followed my hands higher and higher. I no longer heard any incoherent mumbling coming from Logan. My hands traveled further up Logan making me realize how much he has physically changed since we stopped playing nice. Yes, he has always been good looking but his body was never this firm.

I finally reached the stubble that was collecting on his face. God, it felt nice. Not a baby's face; rough, older, mature, and sexy even. I couldn't help but trace his lower lip with my thumb. I felt him tremble under my touch and I heard what sounded like a whimper, not entirely sure which one of us made the sound. I looked up into his eyes and they held me captive. What was happening to me? I knew where this was going so I decided to do the only logical thing that came to mind. I reached my hand back and slapped him.

"What the fuck Veronica?" Logan screamed holding on to his face and stepping further away from me. "What was that for?"

"Well, in the movies that always works when someone is going into hysterics," I said in the most timid voice I had. Logan locked his eyes on to mine. Oh shit he was really pissed. Why do I always act before I think?

With his eyes bearing down on me, Logan stepped closer and closer until he was back where he started from. What was he going to do, hit me? I'm a little petite thing -he could surely do some damage. His hand reached towards me. Should I run? I am pretty sure he could out run me with those long, lean, strong – Focus Veronica!. His hand up to my face and brushed a strand out of my eyes, "Oh Ronnie, what am I going to do with you?" And then he had the nerve to start laughing at me! "Stop pouting Ronnie," Logan added with a chuckle.

"Now that you are finished having your nervous breakdown, can we please get back to work?"

"Anything for you, Sugarpuss," Logan said slapping my ass. Yes, that's right my ass. I would have turned around and gave him a quick jolt of electricity if I wasn't so stunned –and turned on. What is wrong with me? Logan ASSHOLE Echolls is turning me on. Ugh.

I had tried to avoid Logan as much as I could the rest of the week. He did something strange to me that day in my dad's office. Ever since the "slaps heard around the world", all I could think of was Logan's hard body, those sexy eyes, those lips, and how turned on he made me.

I decided it would be best to stay as busy with school and my dad's extra cases as possible. We didn't find out much the rest of the night. Amanda and Logan's baby case was sealed. This just made things harder, not impossible. I had my best man working on it.

"Did you get in yet?" I asked Mac as she typed away on her laptop.

"Almost, Bond. Hold on to your hookers and bow ties, I'll let you know when I get in."

"Oh what would I do without you, Q?"

"Probably drive someone else crazy?" Mac mumbled under her breath. Ok, I admit, I have been going really crazy over Logan's case. The sooner she's in, the sooner I can find Logan's baby, the sooner he can go back to hating me, and the sooner I can stop my teenage lusting.

"What did you say Amanda's mom's name was?"

"Cherry. Why?" I try to peak over Mac's shoulder but she wasn't giving anything away. I loathed not knowing what is going on.

"Well it seems that Amanda Washington gave birth to a healthy baby girl: 7lbs, 5oz., 17.5 inches long, ten toes, ten fingers. Amanda died of hemorrhaging shortly after giving birth. The baby was placed in temporary care of Cherry and Joseph Washington of Marksville. Long term arrangements have been made with Eliza Miller of Briar Hill."

"Who is Eliza Miller?"

"That's all it says. This is where you do your Veronica Mars voodoo. That you do. So well." As corny as she is, I love Mac and I couldn't do many of my voodoo tricks without her.

"Thanks Mac. I owe you one." She raises her eyebrow at me."Or ten."

As I walk out of Mac's house, I text Logan that I have info and to meet me at the office. He texts back saying that he can't make it until later and he could meet me at my house. Right, like I would let Logan in my house. Before I can text him back hell to the capital N-O, my phone rings.

"Whatcha doing Ronnie?"

I get butterflies at the sound of his voice. "Oh a little of this and a little of that." About to drive blunt pencils in my eyes. Anything to stop these feelings you give me.

"Ha. Yeah, listen I really can't escape out the house now. Things are a little crazy, well you know. Anyway I was thinking I could stop by your house later. If that's ok."

"Ummm…Logan…I don't know."

"Come on, Ronnie. I won't be able to get out until late and this is important right?"

"Well yeah it is a big break Logan but I don't think it would be smart for you to come over."

"I thought we were playing nice Ronnie?" I could hear the hurt in his voice and it tore at my heart. "Plus I doubt you dad would like you to be at the office that late."

"My dad is out of town. He won't find out anything."

A/N: Please be gentle with this one. I don’t normally write this fast but when I got this request it just came to me. Also I was going to throw in some Spanish words but I only know the very basics and didn’t want to disrespect the language.

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Emotions

Rio could hear his alarm going off in the distance. He tried to reach his hand up to turn it off but it felt as if his body was made out of lead. But Jello at the same time. Did he drink too much last night? Did he magically turn into Ironman? Shit, Marcus would love that Rio thought to himself making his body slightly shake. Pain radiated all through his body. What the hell happened?

Rio forced his 100 pound eyelids to open. White. White walls. White blanket. Rio was definitely not in Kansas anymore. What trouble did he get himself into?

The door to Rio’s room was slightly opened just enough that he could see figures walking past his door. He knew he was in the hospital but the details of how and why still escaped him. An older lady with graying hair walked past his door carrying a tray. It was probably time for breakfast? Lunch? Rio had no sense of time but knew that he was starving. The older lady’s shoe caught on something on the floor causing her to stumble just enough to drop the tray she was carrying. The tray slapped against the linoleum floor with a loud bang.

BANG. BANG. BANG. Elizabeth.

Everything came back to him like a fast forward movie. Elizabeth. Turner. The gun. The pain. The blood. He gave her the keys to the castle and she turned it on him.

Rio tried to get all his emotions in check. It was never good to show all your cards. He had to build up those walls again that Elizabeth had destroyed.

Pain. Rios body hurt all over. How many times did she turn on him? How many holes did he have in his body because of her? How could she betray him like that?

Anger. Rio thought Elizabeth wanted this lifestyle. She was the one who kept coming back to him. With her “ideas” which half the time made no damn sense but other times? Damn she was fucking smart. And Turner? Thinking he could own Rio simply because he saved his life? No for that his death would be quick.

Respect. He was the one who gave her the idea in the first place: “if you wanna be the king, you gotta kill the king.” And she did it, well tried to do it, she fucking did. It took some balls to that. And now he knew Elizabeth had some big balls.

After my little run in with Jax things around the clubhouse seemed more off than normal.  I tried to keep myself as far away from Jax as possible.  I was angry more with myself than him.  I knew what living this life would entail and yet I am still here.  I may have overreacted at the situation, dramatic if you will.  I have been attracted to Jax since my hormones decided to notice the beautiful men around me.  So my hormones may have been in overdrive with that little spanking incident.  I wasn’t thinking straight.  I mean who would after that?

Dani had been bugging me about what I possibly would want to do once I was free of bar duty but to be honest I had no idea what I wanted.  I mostly wanted a chance or choice to do something else.  Dani asked me to come work with her not as a dancer but behind the bar.  Another place, same bar wench - no thank you. 

It was another Saturday night at the Clubhouse: music blaring, half naked women all around, dunk men, and me behind the bar.  I plastered a fakish smile on my face.  Don’t get me wrong I do love the club and didn’t mind the bar it was just another night, same routine. 

“Ready for another one?” I asked as Opie sat down on one of the stools.  

“Yeah I can use another one.”

“Rough day?” 

“You could say rough week,” Opie said, cutting his eyes to mine like he knew what I was talking about.  I turned to get his beer and placed it down in front of him.  He just stared at me like I could read his mind. And everyone said women were confusing as fuck. 

“What?!” I screamed at him.  Not that he could really tell the difference in volume with as loud as they kept the clubhouse.

Opie just shook his head at me laughing, “You have no fucking clue what you do to that man.  Give him a break princess and talk to him. Forgive him. Fuck him.  Whatever you need to do to make it right.  He's miserable and has been taking it out on all of us.  So for the love of God and the club, fix it.” Opie took a long drink from his beer and then left me at the bar with nothing but my thoughts.  

Jax was miserable. Highly doubted that.  I have never seen him miserable over someone since Tara left his ass.  Not even when his drugged out ex wife left him with a baby to raise.  He had an impenetrable force field around him. I glanced over to where the man in question was sitting with other guys from the club and croweaters around him.  He didn’t look miserable to me.  In fact, he looked quite comfortable with a g-string covered ass on his lap.  He threw his head back and laughed at something someone has said.  As he lowered his head his eyes locked with mine.  I knew I should look away but I just couldn’t.  He had me in a spell with those deep blue eyes.  He tapped the croweater on the leg and motioned for her to get up.  Fuck.  I really didn’t want to talk to him.  I wanted to talk to him so bad. I wanted him to forget about our conversation. I wanted to lay back across his lap.

“Hey.” God just a simple hey and I was ready to forget our little argument, jump this bar, and hump his leg like a desperate dog looking for attention.

Get it the fuck together, y/n. “Hey Jax.” Calm. Sweating. Cool. Gonna throw up. Collected. Freaking out. 

“Can I get another one?”

“Yeah of course,” I let out with a sigh.  This is crazy.  I grabbed a beer and asked, “Can we talk?”

He took a sip and raised his eyebrows.  “Yeah we can do that.” 

“Maybe somewhere out here so it doesn’t get out of hand?” Fucking smooth, y/n. 

“Yeah I’ll get someone to cover for you.   Meet me there,” he said pointing to a table in the corner by the pool table.  It was far back enough that no one would bother us but still in the open so I wouldn’t end up back across his knees. 

I grabbed two beers and headed to the table, my body shaking the whole time.  I have no idea why I was so nervous.  This was Jax, what’s the worst that could happen.  I piss him off and he kicks me out?  Doubtful.  Piss him off and he never talks to me again? Didn’t see that happening.  Throw myself at him? Yeah that's more likely. 

“What’s that face for?” Jax whispered in my ear as he came around the table.  The goosebumps immediately formed. 

“Oh, yeah nothing.  Just thinking.” About us doing naughty things.

“Hmmm thinking? About what?”

“I have a few things I want to say so please let me get them all out then you can yell at me, kick me out, whatever you plan to do.” Jax lowered his brows and frowned at me.

“Y/N….” I held up my hand to stop him.  I had things to say and I knew once I started it would be verbal diarrhea and everything would come out but it was for the best, we could move on. 

“Let me do this.” With a nod from Jax I continued, “I’m sorry.  I overreacted to everything.  Jax you and the club have been nothing but amazing to me and for that I could never repay you.  I am so grateful that you take care of me in exchange for me working at the bar.  But Jax I’ve done this for so long with nothing else.  No future.  I want something that makes me truly happy.  That I wake up in the morning and I have this energy flowing through me. That if I don't do this one thing, I’ll literally explode.  I used to have that with the bar but now it's more like a chore than a thrill.  I don’t want to end up behind the bar for the rest of my life.  I love you guys with all my heart.  And in this case it’s one hundred percent me and not you.

I’m not looking to become a croweater and fuck everyone I see but I would like to meet a nice guy, go on dates, to feel like I’m attractive for once in my fucking life.  I know guys want to fuck me, I’ve been propositioned more than once but I want something lasting. You hurt me when you said that.  Like you don’t even know me.  When have I thrown myself at all the dick running around here? Never.  Oh God, am I making this worse? You look pissed off.” I was screwing this up.

In a deep voice I have never heard from Jax he replied, “No continue because then I have some things to say.”

Shit this is not how I wanted this to go. “So anyway Dani asked me to come work with her…”

“That is not fucking happening.” 

“...but I told her no.  I want something else besides being behind a bar. I wouldn’t fucking dance Jax.” 

“I wouldn’t let you.” This overgrown fucking man child.

“It wouldn’t be your choice but that is besides the point.  I have been thinking about what I wanted to do and I was thinking of maybe taking a few classes at the college to maybe see what I like.  I took those computer classes senior year.  Remember? And I really enjoyed that.  So maybe.  I’m rambling.  The main point is I’m sorry.  I overreacted.  Plus that spanking had me feeling very very confused.” I ended with a laugh.

“You done princess?”  When I nodded he continued. “First I'm sorry. I should have never insinuated that you wanted to be a clubwhore but you pushed my last fucking button.”  When he saw that I was about to fucking rip into him he held up his hand. “It’s my turn.  I know you probably better than you know yourself. I know you wouldn’t fuck just any random dude.  I know this but you have no idea what you do to me princess and that is all my fault.  I want you to accomplish and get all that you want out of life but I’ve been selfish since day one with you.  I have this connection to you that I can’t break.  I told everyone to stay away from you.  I stuck you behind that bar so I knew where you were at all times and that you were safe.  But after our last little argument and talking with some of the guys it's time for things to change.  So look up what you want to take at Charming Community.  We will work things out here.”  Jax gave me a smirk like he knew all the secrets and wouldn’t be sharing with me anytime soon. 

“Jax I need to talk to you, now,” Clay called out. 

Jax hung his head and let out a breath.  “We aren’t finished talking about this,” he said standing up and walking right next to me.  He leaned down to my ear, “But know this that spanking didn’t confuse me at all. In fact, it made me realize how fantastic it will be.”

I swallowed and whispered back, “How fantastic what will be.”

Jax kissed the side of my face and whispered, “When I finally get to fuck you.”

The rest of the day went without incident. I saw Logan a couple of times in the hall but I refused to make eye contact with him but that didn't mean he wasn't on my mind. It was still hard for me to wrap my head around the fact someone my own age, who used to be one of my best friends, had a kid.

When the bell sounded for fourth period, my stomach started turning flips. Why are you freaking out Veronica? It's only Logan. I noticed the 'out of order' sign I had made at the beginning of the year to keep the unwanted out of my unofficial office.

"I thought you weren't going to show."

"I had a quiz. As much as I enjoy our little meetings, school does come before anything else." I paused long enough to meet his eyes. "It's my ticket out of here."

He was quiet for a while. Who would have thought I could silence Logan without the help of my little tazor? "I didn't know you were trying to escape."

"Seriously? After this last year I am surprise I'm still here." I was trying to keep my anger in check but how could he not know what he did to me? "In my mind I am already gone. Only have a year left and then I never have to look back."

He crossed over from where he stood next to the sink and towered over me. Was he trying to intimidate me? I don't think so. Something was different about him but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. "I'm sorry." It was barely over a whisper and to be honest I didn't know if I heard him right.

"No. Don't." I couldn't let him just apologize. Not now. Not like this. I wasn't ready and the look on his face. It was too much. "Did you need something Logan?" I said holding up his note.

"God Ronnie, chill," Logan said running his hands through his hair. "Did you find anything out yet?"

I didn't know when or how he did it but I honestly started feeling sorry for Logan. "Yes and no. I ran a background check on Amanda but nothing came up, which I figured would happen. I have my dad running her cell number through some of his contacts and I will know more after school."

"You told your dad?!" Logan glared down at me then started pacing around the bathroom. "Shit Veronica! I didn't want anyone to know!"

I walked over to him and gently put my hand on his arm to get his attention. "Logan, give me some credit. I know how important this is to you and I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize that."

He gave me a small smile that didn't reach his eyes, "Yeah, thanks Ronnie. I need to go. I'll…um…meet up with you later to see what your dad finds." Logan absently walked out the door and I felt my eyes start to tear up.

After school I called dad to see if he had any luck with Amanda's cell. "I did find some interesting things out. The phone number you gave me is registered to a Joseph Washington of the Marksville area. But honey, that phone has been disconnected for a while now. "

"That's ok dad. Are you going to be home tonight?"

"Probably not kid," he sounded wounded but this actual would help me out.

"That's ok -I have some studying to do and I promised Wallace some BFF time. Love you!"

I really needed to look into Logan's case. I wanted to stop by Mars Investigations and use the database to research Mr. Joseph Washington. As I pulled into the parking lot my phone rang.

"What can I do for you?"

"Hey Ronnie, it's me. Logan."

I let out a little laugh, "Yeah. I got that."

"Ha. Right. So um… yeah listen. I really am sorry about what I said in the hallway. I just thought you were going to say something in front of the guys and I just want to avoid as many rumors as possible." He honestly sounded sincere.

"I understand Logan and I would never do that to you. But you can't treat me like that. Listen I know we aren't friends, even acquaintances, but Logan you can't use me as a personal punching bag and get away with it. I am doing you the favor here."

"I know Ronnie and I'm really sorry. I am going to stop. Well, try to at least." Oh geez thanks Logan! What a douche. "What are you doing now?"

"I'm on my way to the office to run Amanda's dad's info."

"Oh…. Ok…. Yeah…. That sounds good. Well…let me know what comes up."

What's wrong with me? Karma you really owe me. "Do you want to stop by?" This is the point where I pretend to lose service and my phone dies to avoid the embarrassing reaction I'm about to receive.

"Are you sure? Yeah, I would like that? See you in about fifteen." Logan hangs up ending our conversation and my chance to persuade him this is a horrible idea. Logan and I alone in the office – War World III will probably break out.

"It's strange how we keep meeting like this," Logan said by-passing knocking on the door holding a brown paper bag in his hand.

"Well, why don't you come on in, Logan. Whatcha got in the bag?"

"Always the inquisitive one, Nancy Drew." He holds the bag up in front of my face. "This is a peace offering – some of Amy's famous ice cream. Rocky road for you. Almond Amaretto for me."

Damn he knows my weaknesses! "If I play nice can we share?" I give him my best puppy dog eyes which used to work on the old Logan. I am almost sure the new Logan is immune.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." His eyes lock onto mine and his lip curls into that sexy smirk he has perfected over the years. We are locked in a heated gaze for what seems like forever. Logan is the first one to break away and dishes out the peace offering he brought. "So found anything out yet?" he says nodded towards my computer and handing me a spoon.

What is wrong with me? There is no surprise that Logan happens to be one of the hottest people in the world. Hell, he has a magazine cover claiming just that. But he has always been just Logan to me and now my hormones are playing games with me. "Well I just started searching. My dad found out the phone number you gave me was registered to Joseph Washington, who I am assuming is Amanda's dad. The bad news? The phone has been disconnected for a while."

He pulls the chair from in front of my desk and places it right next to me. He leans in next to me so he can see the screen better and I get a better whiff of him. He always smelled so good – now he smelled like cologne and almond amaretto ice cream. I honestly thought I was in heaven.

I typed in Joseph Washington in the search engine then narrowed it down to the Marksville and surrounding areas. He could have moved in the past six months since the phone was disconnected but this was the best place to start. Of the seventy six who lived in California only one lived in Marksville. "Looks like this is our guy, Logan. He is forty three years old. Married to a Cherry Washington, 40. Stay a home mom. Active in charities. Two children. Marcus, 20. He goes to San Diego State. Amanda, 17…oh shit."

"What Veronica? Suspense effectively built. What is it?"

"Logan, I'm so sorry."