in a mad world

get to know me meme: [1/10 female characters]

“Don’t look so surprised to see me,” he muttered over his shoulder, coy smile tugging at full lips. “You think I’m that easy to get rid of? A couple clickers and an enclosed maze? I’ve been through worse shit by now.” Nodding in the teenager’s direction, he took note that the wriggling infant he had delivered himself was not within proximity to its mother. “Where’s the little gremlin?”

A quiet place. How was a quiet place so difficult to find when there was literally nothing for miles around the motel? The clickers have scattered. There were no people, so why did she feel so damn crowded? Terra let out a breath and pushed through a door into a random room of the motel. She thought it was unoccupied until she stumbled over a set of feet. She caught herself on a shelf and bit back a curse.

“Ada,” Terra said in surprise when she realized who she had disturbed. “I am sorry.” Her voice was hoarse. She had not used it in a few days. She swallowed, looked at her, then the child, then the weapon next to them. She considered leaving. Maybe Ada wanted to be alone. Terra wanted to be alone, but she knew it was a terrible idea. “Can I stay?” she asked.

But once the door opened, hands retreated back. A pang of guilt was felt, as if she was a mere child taking something she shouldn’t have. Glossy teary eyes stared up at the figure, unmistakably Terra - the woman who’d helped her escape. The woman that, for so long she’d been afraid of but not anymore. Her words seemed distant, even though they clearly were not. Part of her mind screamed for her to leave so she could just give up but the other half just yearned for comfort, to hug her - to be grateful that she was alive. 

Her mind was a complete cluster, and with each passing time it became more difficult to understand herself or to be positive. The sadness she felt too overwhelming, eating her apart. But the girl never said anything, she just stared into nothingness as tears drifted down her cheeks.

Ivy was a beautiful creature capable of appreciating light even in the darkest situations. Ada had always been a faithful candle to cast away bitterness. Soft and fragile. Just as broken as I am, she thought, searching the place. A circle of three survivors and something left behind: someone was sitting in the floor, in that corner. It felt like they were deliberating. Ivy walked faster. “Ada!” A smile gifted her young features. She was alive. She repeated her name and the baby woke up. Lily touched her mother to bring her back to life. Ivy realized, though, of the poor state her features showed. Blue eyes met. “ You’re here. You’re still here.” She could have asked for forgiveness but she decided not to hold grudges against her own living heart. She was far from her when it happened. That had been the first time. Her blankmind haven’t had that much time to think about Ada yet it had had time to torture her for leaving the girl behind. She should have been there, she thought. Ivy grabbed the mother’s face and held her eyes as if they were water to stop her drought. “ We’re here, love. Together. —- Are you hurt? How did you get here? ” Did she ask too many questions? Maybe Ada would collapse. “ It’s alright. Look at me. Hey, ” Ivy remembered that one time Corvo held her gaze, back at the community center. Just by that simple gesture, Corvo might had saved her life. Ivy knew those were words that would have awoken the dead if it wasn’t impossible. Dedicating them for the living, now, it was a must. “ I love you. Look at me.”

Tears went past her eyes and down to her soft cheeks. They rooted from a plethora of mixed emotions. Sadness, frustration and happiness upon seeing Ivy once again. A mess, she was a complete mess. She tried to hold her gaze, contemplate Ivy for a moment to take it all in, but her vision blurred in tears; unable to keep them in. 

She was far from being okay. Okay wouldn’t happen, she decided. It never would. Happiness wasn’t in for her, every portion of her life getting a bit darker than the one she’d left behind. Yes, they were okay but only unharmed physically. Well, at least the small child in her arms wasn’t. Glass had managed to scrape her hands and portion of her arms, minor cuts here and there but Ada was already used to the pain. 

For the longest time, she’d thought ‘I love you’ were far from being words that would be muttered to her. The last time she heard the words was when her mother was still alive. It was a complete surprise to hear them come out of Ivy’s mouth. Were they said out of spite because of the circumstances they were in or because she truly meant it? 

Glossy blue hues maintained eye contact with the girl, her panic attack subduing the longer she stared at her. Somehow, she always managed to do it - to calm her. Now there were just a few remaining tears. At times she had to remind herself that she was the oldest. She should be the one taking care of Ivy, not otherwise. 

↳ Bold what applies to your muse!

╳ Flaws

moody | short-tempered | emotionally unstable | whiny

controlling | conceited | possessive | paranoid | lies

impatient | cowardly | bitter | selfish | power-hungry

greedy | lazy | judgemental | forgetful | impulsive

spiteful | stubborn | sadistic | petty | unlucky

♔ Strengths

honest | trustworthy | thoughtful | caring | brave

patient | selfless | ambitious | tolerant | lucky

intelligent | confident | focused | humble | generous

merciful | observant | wise | clever | charming

The colors were less bleak, less scary. Shadows were still shadows but at least they were blue and orange and yellow. Terra led Ada along the hallway and opened the door to the balcony for her. Of course she noticed the tears, but Terra did not point them out. They were away from the people now. Maybe it was good Ada cried. Let it out, for once.

“Have a seat,” Terra offered and gestured to one of the benches. She sat at the very end of it and looked at Ada carefully. Maybe it was all a little too much for her too. “Do you want to talk about what is going on?” Terra left Ada the option to say no. She was not going to make the other woman say anything. Plus, Ada seemed like the kind who suffered in silence - like herself.

At times it was tempting to speak up, let out what has been bottled inside. To cry, to accept it all and just move on. But she didn’t want to seem more weak than she already was. But - as she sat beside the woman, she couldn’t help but notice that Terra cared. If she hadn’t, the question wouldn’t have been asked. 

Was it smart to tell her that she was scared, overwhelmed? To tell her that the child that peacefully rested in her arms would have had a better chance if she had erased it since the very start? To tell her that it was impossible to sleep at night, no matter how tired she was in fears of reliving it all once again? How sad her life had been? It surely wasn’t getting any brighter was it? 

It was all a cluster that brought her down over and over again. But how to explain it without bursting into never ending tears? 

“I’m scared..” The words were true, the most general form to explain how she felt. 

“Do you want to go somewhere quiet?” Terra asked hopefully. “It is getting a little crowded in here.” The first thing was to get Ada away from the people, away from curious eyes and all the questions regarding the child. The child was sleeping. There was even a little smile on its lips. The baby was fine. This was about Ada, though, and Ada was not fine. Plus, Terra could do with some quiet time too. “I know a place.”

Terra leaned in and gave Knight a good scratch between the ears. “Are you coming with us?” She used the word ‘us’ as if she was sure Ada would come along. In truth, Terra had no idea whether or not Ada would follow. She was confused by how the girl responded to her, but hopeful that they had moved past this terrible encounter at the library. It was not something Terra liked to remember. “It is just a few floors up.”

Either way silence was always preferred. And the tears that threatened to stream down her soft pale cheeks weren’t for anyone to see. Her pillow was usually her confidant, or Ivy but Ada wasn’t one to show how she truly felt with so much ease. But it seemed the walls that she’d built up were just crumbling down, one by one. 

The floor tiles had been her main focus as she walked and ventured deep into the hospital. A lump uncomfortably settled on her throat, feeling anxious; scared. But not of the shadows or the dark that surrounded them but because she knew it would be difficult to hold her tears any longer. And there she was, crying once again beside Terra but now, for such different reasons.