Anxiety And Puns

Two bite brownies?? Don’t tell me how many bites to take per brownie, Trader Joe’s, okay for me, they’re zero bite brownies. I suck those things down like a BURMESE PYTHON

i hate how reward systems never work for me like i can’t just say “if i finish this assignment i can have a cookie” bc my brain is like “…..or u could just have one right now” and i can’t argue with that logic

Self-imposed deadlines don’t work either because I know the guy who set them and he’s full of shit

Congrats on the gender. Get well soon with the executive dysfunction

y'know sometimes fanfiction is just an increasingly convoluted series of setups to make characters sit around and talk about their feelings, and that’s ok

I mean, we’ve all read the canon. It’s not like these charactets are going to sit around and talk about their feelings without an increasingly convoluted series of setups.

imagine being the woman at the end of 50 first dates and you wake up heavily pregnant with no memory of how you got there and all you have there is a dvd that tells you you’re married now and have been for the last five years. literally a horror movie premise

oh and it’s to adam sandler. you find out via saw dvd that you’re having adam sandler’s baby

these ones

i hate when rich people condescend with the whole 'money can't buy happiness' argument like listen. just because buying your fourth car didn't fill the void in your deluded disconnected-from-reality life doesn't mean not having to worry about food/ bills/medicine wouldn't greatly improve the mental health of literally everyone else on the planet

famous works with titles that are unabashedly stupid but we dont notice because they’re so ingrained in pop culture

star wars

being a writer is just like *idea* *imposter syndrome* *fear of people reading your work* *fear of people Not reading your work* *a single aesthetic* *idea*

wheres the writing part op

op knew what they were doing