HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Look what we have here! A free little space just for me! What fun!!
I think you already know who I am, don't you? I see you cowering like a little baby. I'm not here to hurt you yet. I just want to have a little fun. You like fun, I can tell. You look like you need to have a little laugh. I love to laugh.
Go ahead, tell me a joke. Your life depends on it.
tags:
#you better hope I find it funny -> general asks
#i've got a great joke for you! -> general posts
#✩🃏⊹comedic relief!⊹🃏✩ -> LoD character tag
#silly edsie poo poo bear 🃏 -> tag for Edward Nygma
good morning! it's @theguybehindthechair again, although this blog is attached to @hall-of-doom-hq (which other DC villains should apply to!). This is Joker, as I see him. He is... quite a lot and I would like to preface this all with a quick statement. The Joker is a violent and sadistic character. I am simply writing him, and I do not agree with many of the things he has done or will do. Do not equate me, the author, to him, the character.
With that said, here's the usual rundown
Joker's name is unknown. He may or may not be Jack Napier, Jack White, or even John Doe. There is no real name behind this Joker, and if there was, that person is long gone. He is now just the Joker.
He is a murderer. He killed Jason Todd, as well as many many other people. He does so very indiscriminately, as it's just for fun. he does, however, not prefer to kill. His favorite is to break people, through his toxins or torture. He prefers to leave his victims alive and terrified, as that's way funnier than just killing them.
He is smart, perhaps even a genius. He has excellent chemistry knowledge and is good at coming up with plans, the more convoluted the better. He is a Rube Goldberg person, created the most insane plots just to fuck with people. The joke always comes first, of course.
He is rarely serious, but he can be. Especially if someone gets close to killing Batman. He has a VERY one-sided fucked up attraction to Batman, and doesn't take it lightly when someone tries to kill his favorite plaything.
Shipping: This is NOT a batjokes blog. I don't ship them, sorry. Joker and Batman is one-sided and very unhealthy on Joker's end. I do, however, love other Joker ships especially with other villains (cough Gotham rogues or Lex cough). As I am a minor, I prefer only to write romance with fellow minors or people close to my age (16-20 please).
My Joker is pansexual and transgender (likely agender idk. I just like making my characters trans).
This is, as you can probably tell, a Legion of Doom blog. Generally, he likes fucking with the others, especially Lex. He's like a parasite.
quick edit to add: my joker is not the type to sexually assault anyone (idc that it's canon. i don't want to have it here.) It's not his type of humor. He'll do literally anything else though.
That should be it, and feel free to ask me questions here (or back at my ooc blog) about how I characterize my Joker.
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You ceased being a “mystery” somewhere between the third uninterrupted string of laughter and ridiculous nickname. Anonymity requires more than clicking a button, you know. It requires restraint. Consistency. The ability to disguise one’s linguistic patterns, preferred forms of provocation, punctuation habits, and desperate, almost pathological need to ensure that every room—or inbox—you enter immediately becomes about you.
You possess none of those qualities. You might as well have signed each message in purple ink and attached a novelty flower spraying corrosive acid.
And let us correct another misconception while we are here: You are not my favorite mystery. Mysteries contain concealed information. They reward investigation. They become more intricate the deeper one looks.
You, by contrast, are extraordinarily simple. You make noise until someone pays attention. If they refuse, you make more noise. If that fails, you escalate into pet names and declare yourself fascinating in the hope that repetition will accomplish what substance could not.
It is not enigmatic. It is the behavioral equivalent of repeatedly striking a malfunctioning vending machine because you believe volume constitutes technical expertise.
Still, congratulations. You wanted an answer, and now you have one. Enjoy it slowly. I know delayed gratification has never been your strongest skill. And never call me “Edsie poo poo bear” again. I have already begun designing consequences.
EDDIE!!! Now I know you know that me being anonymous isn't the mystery I was on about, ya silly goose!! You still don't know who or what I am! And I just know how that makes you feel!
Pet names are for my little pets, like you Edsie! All of you little guys are my guinea pigs, built for my fun and entertainment!
I'm just so excited to see what those consequences are! I hope they're funny, I'm in need of a good laugh.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
A brief clarification for those who continue confusing verbosity with pretension:
Using precise language is not an affectation merely because you personally require a running start to clear three syllables.
Words possess specific meanings. Those meanings allow us to communicate complex ideas without reducing every conversation to grunts, threats, and vague hand gestures. Humanity developed an entire lexicon, and I see no compelling reason to abandon it simply because some of you regard opening a dictionary as an act of intellectual surrender.
“You only use big words to sound smart.” No. I use the correct words because I am smart. You interpret that as performance because your own intelligence apparently requires one.
Furthermore, brevity is not inherently indicative of depth. Sometimes a concise statement is elegant. Sometimes it is merely the complete extent of what its speaker was capable of producing. Silence may be mysterious. It may also be empty. The distinction becomes obvious the moment the person begins talking.
So, please: continue insisting that your inability to follow a sentence is actually evidence of my poor communication. It is an extraordinarily efficient method of identifying the weakest participant in any conversation. And should six syllables constitute a personal attack, the dictionary is not your enemy. It is an intervention.
