Small Octo with a Dynamo

i need beautiful women to comfort me i did very badly on splatoon today

Good fucking luck even getting a girl to look at you after today

stupid running joke i love is how every single splatoon campaign has some moment where the idols are like "surely you recognize us, the world-famous squid sisters/off the hook/deep cut" and the player character just. doesn't. because normally the punchline of this sort of joke is that haha they aren't actually that famous, they just have an overinflated sense of ego, but that is demonstrably not the case here. these are actual bona-fide megastars who just so happen to keep enlisting god's most autistic soldiers. the universe is conspiring against them to find the single most out-of-the-loop person in the world at any given moment and send them to save the day. this rocks. i hope they never stop pulling this shit

Watching the stuff about Splatoon Raiders gave the vibes of Deep Cut being an established throuple, and the mechanic is their fourth they picked up off the street that somehow hasn't caught onto the relationship yet and is just like "ok 👍"

mechanic in a foursome with deep cut

IF YOU THINK I AM FIGHTING TWO FUCKING STRONG ARMS YOU'RE WRONG

In unrelated news would anyone want to squad up and help me with floor 97-99. Definitely unrelated.