According To LoveLost

Hello to the loyal few that read, follow, and or glance at these words and images. I have been on a creative hiatus from the blog, working on finding myself, and my vision. I doubt that I am the only creative/artist that goes through moments where one feels lost, I have been far too focused on what the mainstream could be looking for, focused on the approval of the so called “Gate Keepers”, and less focused on my own vision, my own art. 

When I first picked up a camera, it had nothing to do with what others thought, and yes of course that changes when you transition from hobby to business, but that does not mean I have to forget who I am as an artist, and become a slave to the ideas of others.  

Here is a look from a fun recent shoot... I’m going back to the drawing board, stick around for what is to come.

Enjoying every last bit of the summer sunshine as possible, and with the sunshine comes fashion and style! Here is a look at an awesome editorial fashion shoot I did recently with this awesome young lady. 

I am not a super sports fan, don’t get crazy, I like sports, and keep up with my teams when I have the time. I’m not the “band wagon” sports fan, I have my team/teams in each sport I am a fan of. Those who know me, know that I am a Yankees fan when it comes to baseball. Yes I live in Toronto, and have been here since the age of 11, and now i’m in my 30′s, so what! 

Family vacations to NY before moving there at a young age, made me a New Yorker, and my love for the city remains to this day. In NY, you are either a Mets fan or Yankees fan. My late father promised me a Mets hat and jacket when I was kid, it never came, so from then I wanted nothing to do with the Mets. 

What does any of this have to do with Jose Bautista and his new collaboration with Silver Jeans co.?  Everything and nothing at the same time.

Here I am breaking my selfie rule for a photo with Jose, while covering the event for Fajo Magazine. I’m wearing a Jays hat, oh the trouble i’m in with fellow Yankee fans lol. (Random fact; I purchased Jay’s hats prior to going to Cuba, as I was advised my Yankees gear would not be well received given the relationship at that time with the US.)   I did mention to Jose while chatting that I am a Yankees fan, but I do feel that he and the Jays will bring home a championship. 

Not there to talk much about sports, the focus was on Jose’s launch of his collaboration with Silver jeans Co, but there was not a person in the room who could ignore the well deserved respect for what Jose and the Jays are doing on the field. I have not admired the Jay’s since the Joe Carter, Roberto Alomar days, and the energy in the city right now reminds me of those days.

“I’m not for everybody”- me.

So many people just throw the word “friend” around. I have become more aware of it as of late, even the word “love” is getting into the mix. I’m your friend and you love me and my work when you need to use my art. I see you, I know who you are, and you should recognize the CURVE.  

I live to create. Here is a quick look into some recent work. 

In this age of social media that we are all trapped within, so many aspects of life can be viewed and argued in either Perception or Reality.  There are few people that give the world everything within social media, and there are even more people that buy into what they see within social media as 100% reality. 

This post today is about my own battle as a photographer. Speaking with people that I have met throughout my journey as a photographer, and even those that I have known prior to it, has given me some interesting points of view into what people see within social media, and the reality of this life.  Those of you that follow my journey within social media, see what I decide to share of course, and I have learned that the perception of this could not be any further away from the reality in most cases. 

Most people think “Oh man, you have a dream job”, “ You call that work”, taking photos of models”?  “ You must get paid so much money for what you do”, and my personal favourite, “ You should shoot me for free, Insert several number of reasons that are not valid 90% of the time here__________________! lol.

Here is the reality of this life, and it could be just me, or my photographer pals might feel the same.  

Yes it’s fun being a photographer, I do it because I am passionate about it, I love being behind the camera, meeting new people, working on cool projects and so on. However, it is work!  There are so many factors that the average person does not think about, I won’t make this longer than I need to, but take my word for it, it is more than just pressing a button. Most days it is a dream job, but is it really a job if you don’t get paid for your work all the time?  

The average person has no clue about how difficult it is to actually get paid for your work as a photographer. You have no idea how many people there are out there seeking photographers, that do not value the art, the work and the time enough to pay for it.  The fact is, there are more people out there that want quality work, but would rather not pay for it, and seek individuals to do it for free, sacrificing quality of course.  Then there is the trade shoot scenario that is both a gift and curse. Trades in my opinion are cool, as long as it is just that, an even trade, everyone is bringing the same value to it. Value could be talent, exposure, and or creativity. What you don’t see is the amount of these trade scenarios that are presented, and the amount of folks that don’t value the photographer enough to understand why they would or would not do a trade. 

You don’t see the trials and tribulations of the day to day of being self employed, selling yourself and your brand in a society/industry that at times is cut throat, cold and selfish. A business where photographers and even some models are not appreciated for what they do. 

I have learned a hell of a lot on this journey most good, some bad, most changing me for the better and some giving me a cold harsh outlook on humanity. 

I have gone above and beyond for people, as many photographers do because we love what we do. I have been fortunate that most of the people I have worked with both paid and not, have been appreciative of my work.  I think there are many photographer that have taken on tons of free work just out of the love, and I am no different. This is all fine when your efforts, time and work are all genuinely appreciated, but when people take advantage, and have a total lack of respect, it’s a different story. In my case the good is by far grater than the bad when it comes to appreciation, but the bad has been unreal! 

What’s unreal? Being told by a person that once they pay me they “own” me. Can you imagine how that sounds as a black man?  Having a person be upset because they are not being complimented, and told how “Hot” they look in front of the camera?  I apologize if “ That’s great work, and or I like what I am seeing”, is not boosting egos enough.  There is so much more, but let’s save those fun tid bits for another day. 

This journey has totally changed my outlook on humanity, once very trusting and would totally give myself to working with people and make the critical mistake of not putting business first and passion second. Stupid, I know, I might be the only one in that lane.  I have allowed my kind heart to navigate my journey, and have fallen victim to a plethora of sob stories to justify why I should for lack of a better phrase compromise in areas where no other brilliant business minded human would. I guess it’s true some roads are paved with good intentions, and in my case some of those good intentions have resulted in a slap in the face.  

 Don’t get me wrong I have met some great people along the way, and have some great friends as a result, I am just aware now. I am aware to trust less, business first, cross my T’s and dot my I’s, and NEVER TRUST A HANDSHAKE! Most peoples “word” is not worth a penny.  I know who has my best interests at heart, I know the people who care, I know who value photographers. 

As a photographer and perhaps a human as well, I don’t think it’s too much to ask for respect, loyalty and honesty.  Respect me and I will you. I am not an asshole, if you approach me with a great idea, and don’t have much of a budget, and I can make it work, we shall.  I will no longer be the silent photographer who just takes shit and keeps it moving, after all, that is not my personality anyway. I have held back, not shared my thoughts, watered down my opinions for the sake of business and what consumers might think. Those days are over.  For those who have read all of this, thank you!   Stay tuned for a regular segment  of “Perception vs Reality”. 

Everyday that I get to be behind the camera doing what I love to do is rad, but today was above average indeed. Today I had the honour of working on a fun project with “The Nail Whisperer”, and a few amazing models, here is a little preview from the day. More to come soon.

Round 2 with this babe last night. Started outdoors at sunset, then in studio for some more rad photos, here is a peek. You should book me! 

Here is a look at a fun session with this little beauty.