SUNFLOWER

Ashael: I'm sorry about last night...

Ashael: I lashed out of him but I thought he was bothering you. I promise I won't smoke as much next time we go out... probably made me psychotic idk

acacia: don't worry about it i was only embarrassed IN FRONT OF ALL THAT PEOPLE

acacia: i'll forgive you when you make it up for me

                  celeste laughed along; mainly because of how funny the blonde looked wobbling around and trying not to fall flat on her face due to dizziness. they probably had too much on this one. “book an uber!” she demands, chuckling as she nods to respond to her question. she always feels good, anyway. “do you?”

acacia let out a humorless laugh at the other question,  “i’m always feeling amazing my darling!” she exclaimed, trying to show celeste that she was nothing but the usual. the girl took her phone to call an uber, easily unlocked and starred at her screen, looking through the many apps. “ugh you do it!” she gave up, delivering the phone to celeste. “oh god i think i’ll drink a water before we go.” she commented laughing at herself.

she shakes her head slightly, inhaling a deep breath. “ because i’m selfish, i think about it all the time, and i don’t sleep.” she starts, biting down on her lower lip. “ and because i don’t like the idea of you thinking any of the logical explanations for why i was constantly m.i.a. or why i treated you the way i did.” rikkie combs her hands through her hair again, eyebrows furrowed. “ and because part of me wants to think it would make a difference.” she rolls her shoulders back in hopes of them relaxing, even though she knows it won’t happen. “ and i don’t want you to hate me for the rest of my life. is it wrong for me to feel like you deserve an explanation and i deserve to be held fucking accountable ?? “

she couldn’t help but roll her eyes, for acacia, apparently the only reason she was there was to make someone else feel better, while she was merely threw into an awkward position. “well then said it! whatever is that you want to tell me, just say it already.” she crossed her arms, waiting to hear the other. angrily though, thinking it was already too late for this conversation, that they wasted the opportunity they had and now it was pointless for her. “okay, just please, don’t make the mistake of assuming that it’ll make anything better or that it’ll change somehow, because it won’t happen.

                 the redhead decided to put her long hair into a high ponytail, then just signaled to the blonde that they should get going to this party that she has mentioned. that’s accurate, though. she enjoys the party if it has good music, hot people, and a whole lot of alcohol. surely, acacia had memorized already how celeste likes her own parties. “please tell me we do not have to walk our way into this party you’re bringing me into. high heels are really cute yet they tend to torture your toes.”

"ugh no, of course not, i’m barely walking myself out of this bar.” she commented playfully with a laugh. acacia decided to get up and enjoy more the party, although in the second she left her chair she felt dizzy, as if her legs could not stand the weight of her body, the girl simply stood still and felt control over herself again, maybe not total though — just one bad effect of the alcohol. “do you feel good already?” 

“You gotta admit I look hotter. You’d bone me.” Piper smirked as she playfully winked at her friend. “Fine, but you’re going to drag me away from the bar when I get utterly wasted.” She laughed and called them an uber. “Let’s go.” The blonde linked arms with Acacia and the two walked downstairs to meet the car.

“oh right... not just now.” she replied with a laugh from the other’s comment. “what if i get wasted?” acacia questioned showing her that already had started drinking. “who’s gonna drag us from the bar? the police?” acacia followed her friend to the car that was already waiting for them, after both were in the car, they head to the bar, with a cheerful song playing inside the vehicle that made acacia dance on her seat.

                    “except me, of course.” she smirks, then just followed the girl into the bar and rested on one of the high chair’s they’ve got. the dancing they did definitely sucked all the energy in celeste’s body, and it looked like they’re not stopping anytime soon. their drinks was served, and the redhead took a short sip from her drink, almost looking like it was never consumes nor touched. “you do? where is this party that we’re currently speaking of?” she asks, feeling a bit recharged at the mention of another party for the night. 

“obviously.” acacia took that time to rest and get her energy back. her legs burned as acacia didn’t have the habit of exercising, and her entire body was feeling hot, probably the same feeling as everybody around them, result of the among of people enjoying the party. “of course, are you surprised? not far from here. there’s everything you enjoy, music, hot people and alcohol, as every party should have.

she laughs, despite her red rimmed eyes, standing here in front of her ex girlfriend. “ have i ever wanted to have one of these kinds of conversations ?? but i mean– i respect you enough as a person that i should swallow my pride and at least tell you something. plus my therapist keeps saying i need to learn to sit with my discomfort, whatever the fuck that means.” she doesn’t expect acacia to talk to her, she doesn’t think she deserves it. but she also feels like it might help her shed some of the weight from her tired shoulders. “ it wasn’t your fault… i didn’t – i didn’t mean that.” she sighs, her words trailing off. “ i just—” if ever there was a time rhiannon wanted to put the words together, it was now. but the cat got her tongue, and she was left spiraling in circular thoughts silently.

“then why are we doing this? why don’t just leave things as they are? i’m sure that you’re no up at night thinking that you should have talked to me... gosh if i had therapist saying that to me i would never come back there.” she laughed humorless. “i just don’t want to keep getting more deep in topics that are over and that are not going to make any difference and just make both of us uncomfortable. you don’t want to do this so... this was all a mistake.” acacia knew that she was probably being selfish but she didn’t care, she didn’t want to put herself into a situation that was out of her comfort zone. “oh i know damn well it wasn’t my fault...”

“It’s just not appropriate.” Piper shrugged, seeing no issue in her way of thinking. Public was only a place to look your best, no excuses. The blonde pulled her hair into a high pony-tail and grabbed her purse. “There’s a bar downtown I’ve been meaning to check out, wanna go?”

“you just pulled your hair up and changed to some random clothes, how’s that different from before?” she teased, arched eyebrows while looking at the other with a smirk. “sure, sounds good to me.” she grabbed everything she brought, including the bottle of vodka, that acacia expected that they’d finish it before getting to the bar. “let’s go, i’m gonna make you quickly forget why you didn’t want to go before.” once again, she spoke with the same smirk rested on her lips.

“they forgot my fucking birthday. can you believe this?” 

“yeah this is not surprising actually and that’s why you shouldn’t be upset about it, care about the ones who remembered it.” she softly spoke, trying to don’t say something that could possibly hurt the other. “do you want my company on your birthday? you should always be grateful for having it, to be honest.” she commented in a playful tone of voice.

making her way back over from her makeup desk, three eyeshadow palettes in her hands, her lips curved upwards in a smirk. “thank you for agreeing to help me out, i really needed some help.” she mused, opening the shadows for the other to see. “it’s all up to you. if you’re feeling a more soft, neutral look we can go with the naked palette and if you’re feeling BOLD we can use jefree’s alien palette or sister james’ palette.” she shrugged, lining all options in front of the other. working on new looks for her instagram feed was always HARD and she felt as though it would be easier to have some help. “i have others if you aren’t feeling any of them, too.”  

this was not exactly what acacia thought she would be doing that night but she didn’t mind to be there. the blonde made herself comfortable waiting for the other to work on her as long as she had to, with her phone and iced tea next to her. “it’s fine! are you sure you know what you’re doing, right?” she questioned just to be sure that she wouldn’t leave there looking like a clown, which, in fact, would happen if acacia was the one doing a makeup that wasn’t what she does on the daily. “usually i’d go with the naked palette, but as you’re the one doing my makeup, i’ll go bold this time.” 

asher: wyd tonight??

acacia: idk i have no plans..

hugo: i'll be real with you here

hugo: do you ever wonder if there's like really a reason to be here

hugo: like here at school

hugo: sometimes i feel like this is all just for show and tell and no one ever experiences anything real

hugo: shit what if we're all just robots

acacia: ... the fuck?

acacia: it's 3am hugo !!!

rikkie knows that she expects too much from relationships. she doesn’t let people in, but she EXPECTS to understand everything the other person is dealing with. keeping so many people in the dark is sure to fuck up something, even when she doesn’t want it to. acacia’s reaction shocks her, but she feels like it shouldn’t. it prompts her to do something she ordinarily wouldn’t even think to offer. “ i mean– if we’re gonna try to put it all out on the table, and lord knows neither of us know how to do that, do you at least want to have this conversation elsewhere ??” what can she say, she feels like she needs closure. “ what i did to you wasn’t fair. i just— don’t have the words to explain what was going on.”

“do you really want to have this conversation? i mean... what good would it make now?” acacia absolutely hated those type of conversations, she always tried her best to avoid it, due to her feeling uncomfortable with it, and as long as she could continuing to avoid it, she would. all she wanted at that moment was run away and pretend that nothing happened, unfortunately for her, she could not simply walk away. “and that’s fine, i get it, i don’t go around talking about everything in my life, just don’t act as if it was my fault.”

bruno shrugged his shoulders, “consider it a new years gift. i told myself i’d be more charitable - but don’t expect another gift” he laughed. as he took the pill he had planned for himself he let a smirk creep across his lips. bruno wasn’t usually this friendly, but new year new bruno - right? “nothing in return don’t worry - this isn’t pi tau” bruno made a dig at the frat that had a reputation for being douch-ey to girls. 

“trust me, i won’t. i didn’t even expect this time, but if that’s what you call being more charitable…” she cut herself off, to be able to finish the rest of drink on her glass. acacia only looked at him after, forgetting what she was about to say before. “well god bless you then!” she cheered raising her empty glass.

rhiannon marx was not one for regrets. she didn’t dwell, didn’t look back, didn’t regret anything. what was done was done, and it was better to let sleeping dogs lie in her humble opinion. but that’s not even grounding her in this moment, because she hurts all over and regrets letting down her wall, even a little bit, for acacia to see the chais peeking through her cracked exterior. everything is too much and she just wants to curl up into a ball and cry. “ you never asked.” she replies, even though she knows she wouldn’t share even if she had been asked. “ besides, it was better if you didn’t know. at least then i wasn’t worried about you looking at me like– i’m an aspca commercial or something.” rikkie wasn’t about to explain what was going on anyways. she wasn’t going to let acacia in on the secret of where she disappeared to for four hours at a time, three days a week. even if it did mean acacia drew her own, wrong conclusions. it was easier this way, or at least that’s what she always told herself.

acacia sighed, she didn’t want to have this conversation, especially at that time and in that place. she stayed quiet, just thinking about what she was hearing and everything that already happened. what was she supposed to do? acacia couldn’t even deal with her own feelings, therefore how this conversation could help in anything? “you don’t know what i would do, you clearly don’t know much about me so don’t talk about how my reaction would be as an excuse for you being insecure about sharing whatever this is. stop feeling sorry about yourself when you’re not whiling to let anyone help or at least know what’s going on.” she snapped, as should be expected from her, acacia didn’t have a way with words to have a serious conversations like this, she never did.

               of all the attendees of this party, celeste actually loved dancing around. she wasn’t in the dance team for no reason at all, so she uses what she had learned there to events such as this; which happens nightly in yale. they have been in the dance floor for a good half an hour, moving into the beat of the edm song without breaks, and as soon as they stopped, the exhaustion crashed into her system like a vehicle without brakes. surely, that was fun. “yes to drinks! the something else is actually pending.” she chuckled, swaying their hands as they walked their way to the mini-bar for more drinks. “god, people are really coming to this party, huh?”

while walking to the bar, acacia’s eyes wandered around, checking if she could see any familiar face, without success. “yeah but i don’t think there’s anyone here that matters for me...” she shrugged, after ignoring celeste’s first sentence with a roll of eyes. the blonde ordered two drinks, wasting no time, when it was delivered, to give a long sip of the alcohol, finishing half of the drink, mostly because she was thirsty after dancing. “by the way, when we leave we are definitely not going home, i already have another party for us.” it was new year’s and for acacia, that night was the best excuse to do whatever she wanted and bring someone else along. with that in mind, even if celeste denied, the blonde was ready to be persistent and insist on it.

“How dare you think I’m leaving this house in my pajamas!” Piper was high maintenance. She knew this. It had been planted in her brain at a young age. You never went out in public if you didn’t look presentable. There could always be someone you knew out there and it’d be shameful to make a bad impression. “Let me change.” The blonde groaned, grabbing the bottle of vodka from her friend. She took a drink before handing it back. The young woman was stripped out of her pajamas in no time. “Will you hand me that shirt off my bed?” She asked as she was wiggling on a pair of jeans.

“what’s the big deal about it?” acacia frowned, holding tight the bottle of vodka that she frequently took sips of. she had no idea of where they would go, she just gave the idea of leaving, without thinking it through. her eyes looked down at herself to look her outfit, checking if it was appropriate to go out, maybe it was too casual, depending on the situation but she was fine with it. acacia waited for piper on her phone, looking up only when the other spoke to her. she walked to the bed quietly and threw the shirt at her, “so were are we going?” she didn’t go back to the place she previously was and stood there waiting for piper.