bug

warnings for slight spoilers, i don’t believe there’s much of anything too triggering, just some mention of sexism in avari, and parental/generational trauma, but nothing too detailed.

(and j*sper jumpscare at the end but it’s just slander)

this also isn’t at all and excuse for abuse or anything of the sort, and that’s not what i specialize in either; it’s more like a deeper analysis of internalized sexism, now if guy did anything on the level of j*sper or got physical or anything, i would not be writing this.

so, guy starts off very controlling (literally using mind control), but when you play his route + events (specifically the ones where he goes to avari) a much deeper story unfolds. it is my understanding that avari has very different thoughts on women, and we even see guy tell MC that his father told him all women are cruel and only want power. i believe guy has been told all his life negative things about women, and that all he has seen was his father marry for power after his mother passed. we also see in a route that guy was much more open when his mom was alive, but closed his heart to everyone when she was killed. it is also seen that guy assumed his mother was murdered by other women. so, Guy has been told all his life these things about women, ever since he was a child, and never had the chance to see any differently as he never opened up to another woman until MC.

now this is where the beauty comes in. after a while, guy begins to truly love MC for herself and not just her power, and even tells her what he was told about women and says she changed that. guy was able to swallow his ego and be emotionally open to MC and begin to see her as an individual and not just a vessel for power. guy defends her to her father and tells him off saying that he truly loves her and no other, and it is not just because of her power, and that she will make a fine queen. we see him praise her throughout his stories and events, and through his thoughts we see he is truly a changed man who has changed his outlook on women through his love for MC.

although he is not yet open to fully sharing his thoughts quite yet, we see that he is actively working on himself for MC.

we also see a boyish side come out of him during these emotional moments, that i believe to be trauma regression and suppressed feelings that he has had to endure due to the excessively violent and aggressive nature of avari. i truly think guy’s initial act towards MC is due to trauma and abuse he suffered in avari, and he only begun realizing he was lied to and was wrong about women through his relationship with MC. guy is actually my favorite character because of this, and i think it’s truly a beautifully complex story that the creators made. also, i love how his toxic masculinity was turned around and how it tells the story that growing up in such a toxic environment can truly damage a man.

j*sper is a whole different story, bro is just a perv who deserves cancer.

sorry, this is about to be super rambl-y! i go off on some related tangents here lol

yeah this is interesting! i guess i disagree in that i don't actually think that the CoD writers have really fleshed him out as well as we in the fandom have and that has always been the core of my distaste for his character, and why i prefer him in fic form 9 times out of 10. 100% i believe he's traumatized by life in avari and the loss of his mom, and that his sexism stems from that, and because of that he has potential to be deep and complex in his flaws, but there's always a core to his character that just stays flat and unchanged, particularly with the event stories- he almost defaults to cruelty and rarely shows genuine remorse or legitimately, verbally apologizes*, complete with an understanding of what he did wrong and actual changed behavior. (i can distantly recall event stories where he does something awful, they have a relationship meltdown, they make up because MC gaslights herself into believing that she was being unfair, and then he continues doing shitty things??? like he's kinda emotionally abusive in some stories.) they do this this kind of half-baked character development with fenn as well, though his book 2 was a massive help in showing actual personal growth. i'm really hoping guy's book 2 provides similar evidence of change.

the unfortunate thing is that since i've been playing voltage games on and off for the past ten years, i'm pretty familiar with the archetype they're using for guy and have some serious doubts that they'll write him better. controlling asshole alpha male who has a trauma backstory and, despite falling in love with the MC, just acts like a complete dickwipe forever is pretty much par the course. so i'm a bit conflicted about the possibility that we'll get the kind of fleshing out of guy's character that we need.

as another note, the most i've seen (or at least, perceived) from guy as far as remedying his sexism is him deciding MC is an exception to the general rule that women are bad. he's had some genuinely selfless moments for her here and there in stories, but none that would really give me an indication that his view of women overall is healing. and that's the kicker for me: men like that exist in real life, and when the woman they've removed to the pedestal disappoints them in some way, they're right back to square one because they didn't actually change their views. and the sort of change that he'd need to undergo as a character to unpack that bullshit is pretty intense, which is another reason why i'm skeptical we'll get what we need and why i prefer the fandom version of guy- and why i prefer the version that you've presented here.

tldr; the material to make guy an incredible character is there, but i think some details are missing and the legitimate development we need isn't something voltage is terribly likely to do.

Also, do you have a masterlist? I couldn’t find one

awww yay! i'm glad you enjoy my work. sorry i've been a bit awol- moved into a new spot and have been busy making new friends and getting familiar with the area! i'm hoping to contribute more to the fandom soon.

oops sorry this second chapter took way longer than intended! but here it finally is!

-----

As it turned out, she’d been of a similar mind. That next morning he was awoken less urgently and to the sound of a gentle pat-pat-pat against his door. Her little familiar had come bearing a message and after a few chin scritches, flew off blissfully unaware of the meaning of the contents in the envelope he’d delivered. 

I think we should talk about it now. Meet me by the forest. I’ll be there waiting for you.

-MC

Lance crumpled the message and tossed it into the bin as he began undressing and dressing as quickly as he could. His heart had jumped into his throat but the sooner he spoke to her the sooner he’d know the truth of what to expect, so there was little point in wasting time. The time was now, finally.

When he arrived at the edge of the Academy campus, she stood there among the cluster of trees on the very edge, hands held in front of her and obviously tense. He took a deep breath and approached, and when her head swiveled around to meet his gaze, she sucked in a breath of her own. 

“Hi,” she murmured. She was wringing her hands anxiously as he moved closer, and she turned away abruptly, her back to him. “Let’s, uh… let’s go to the usual spot.” At that, she began walking at a quick, nervous clip and he trailed behind her as they made their way to the clearing by the pond, cutting through the underbrush and through the trees in complete silence. 

Lance watched her, saying nothing, afraid that trying to cut the tension might make either one of them burst with barely disguised panic and fear. Her shoulders were held high and tense and she kept a faster pace than usual, almost as if she was hoping to outrun him- or something else.

i wrote this a few weeks ago but refused to post until I could actually outline the story in it's near-entirety... so here the beginning of it is!

----

If anyone ever asked, Lance didn’t like or want children. He was a scary bad boy loner type that kept a wolf for a friend. He gave off an air of villainy and he knew it. And for the most part, no one questioned it. A few people knew it was likely all surface level: Hawke, Fenn, Violet, Jasper. The drinking buddies. They’d never tell a soul or they knew he’d never come back to the tavern to cover their rounds. Obviously Christoph knew, but no one knew Christoph so he had no one to tell. Christoph was a secret and the obvious smoking gun that he was not only very fond of children, but good with them. 

If anyone ever asked, Lance had plenty of reasons for not wanting children. He was bad with them (a lie), he didn’t like them (a lie), and he never wanted to subject a child to the life of Irian prince or princess- that he didn’t know how to protect them and keep them free. That latter part was not a lie. Truthfully, the mere thought of his hypothetical child encountering his father made his stomach turn. The concept of Christoph meeting Addis had been the frequent topic of his nightmares, so the idea of a little tyke, half-him and half-her, with her round pretty eyes and broad dimpled grin, being pulled into the nightmare that was an Irian childhood? Lance swore off parenthood even before he’d met her that one strange night in the forest and now that he knew her and could see the future in her eyes? Never. Never in a million blasted years. The Irian royal bloodline could die with him. 

For this reason, Lance had always been extremely careful. Before her, he hadn’t been above the occasional one-night stand or short fling, though it was rare- and he left no stone unturned. Potions, spells, whatever was at his disposal, he was using it every single time regardless of complaints or confusion. And thus, there were no purple-haired little Lances running around on the Isle of Colde or anywhere else. He carried these habits into his relationship with her and she’d been glad for his diligence in prevention. She, understandably, had her own reasons to be apprehensive about becoming a parent. 

Which was why all of this felt like a nightmare. 

“Lance? …Lance? You’re freaking me out, say something!”

He snapped to and blinked up at her, pulling his face out from where it’d been hidden in his palms. When she’d arrived in his quarters that morning, he’d been a bit taken aback by the timing of it: she wasn’t one to rise early on a weekend. He knew, he’d seen how long it took her to wake up when not under the pressure of making it to a class. So when she’d woken him with a series of harsh, rapid-fire knocks to his door and cries of his name, Lance sat up in disoriented shock and let her in immediately. Her eyes were red and puffy, with tears running down her face in rivulets. Her hair was mussed up as though she’d run at a full sprint all the way from dorm Tradis and her hands were shaking around the object she held in her hands. She’d then pushed him back into his room and closed the door firmly behind her, trying to pull her breaths in with shaking gasps. He, panicked, had put his hands on her shoulders and asked her what was wrong, what had happened- and then she’d said it. And he’d noticed it: the glowing little orb contraption she was holding in her hand and the tiny pinprick of blood on her thumb. As though punched, Lance had stumbled back onto the bed, crumpling in horror.

Numbly, he looked her up and down. 

“Please, please tell me you’re joking,” he whispered. He knew she wasn’t.

She shook her head and shoved the test out at him. It was clear as day. There was no mistaking the intensity of that color for anything but the strongest of confirmations that she was absolutely, without a doubt, definitely pregnant. Slowly he took the test from her and continued to stare at it as she sniffled above him. 

“I, I just thought that I wasn’t feeling good b-because I had a stomach b-bug but Sherry convinced m-me to t-take one this morning just to ch-check…” she sobbed. “I didn’t th-think it’d be positive! I don’t understand how…” At this, she hid her own face in her hands, quivering.  

The sight of her sobbing broke him out of his reverie and Lance stood weakly from the side of the bed to pull her into his arms. She buried her face in his chest and he held her in close while he stared off into the middle distance, trying to process it.

He’d done everything right. So had she. And for as much as he didn’t want it to be true, he knew this was his progeny making its way into the world- she was loyal to a fault and would never even imagine straying. So somehow, somewhere, finally, the stars had stupidly aligned in just the wrong way. Potions and spells be damned. She was pregnant.

Lance sat back down and pulled her onto his lap, moving his hand along her hair in rhythmic strokes. Gods, how’d he done this to her? Disbelief was giving way to panic and guilt and he took a deep breath, trying to stem the tide of it. It was enough for her to deal with being tossed into a brand new world, let alone with powers she didn’t understand. But now he’d knocked her up and tied her inexplicably to the kingdom of Ira, a fate almost worse than death. 

“…how far along is it?”

She sat back to look at him. Her eyes were glazed and even puffier than before somehow and she wiped at her tears with the heel of her palm. “Uh-uhm… probably about, like… month? I don’t know exactly…”

“Then there’s time yet.”

“T-time?”

Lance nodded. His mind had begun racing. Yes, that was it. She was so early. She didn’t have to stay pregnant just because she was right now. Plenty of people backtracked when it was still early, when they could catch it. It wasn’t too late. He hadn’t doomed her or ruined her life, not yet. Lance stood, holding her close still. “Right, time. You needn’t go through with it. Even on Colde they have healers who know the methods for termination.”

She blinked up at him, wide-eyed and mouth hanging open. “They…? You want me to…?” she whispered. Her voice was small, almost inaudibly light and weak. “…I… I don’t…”

Realizing his haste, Lance pulled her hands into his and kissed the backs of them softly. “It’s an option. I…” he trailed off and stared off into the corner, away from the look of distress on her face. “…a good option, really. One I’ll handle.” He looked back at her imploringly. “Say the word and I will get it sorted for you. You needn’t do a thing.”

She’d gone still and stiff beside him. Numbly she nodded and let her hands go slack and weak in his grip. “O-okay…” she murmured. “I… I’ll think about it.”

He squeezed her hands in his. “Please.”

She managed to squeeze back and turned, walking over to the settee and sitting down. Slumping, she sighed and buried her face into her own hands and massaged her temples. “…I’ll think about it, but… I don’t know. I just don’t know…”

The unsettled rumble of nerves in Lance’s stomach began again. Disoriented by the rising anxiety, Lance tugged his fingers through his hair and began to pace back and forth. His heartbeat felt like it had risen into his ears. She couldn’t stay pregnant. She couldn’t. Swallowing the knot in his throat, Lance dropped to his knees in front of her. “You aren’t considering keeping it, are you?” he whispered.

She gaped at him, eyes wide and mouth opening and closing as though unsure of the words to form. Frowning, she looked away and took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “I don’t know, Lance. I just… I don’t know… I only just found out now so I haven’t been able to think about it properly…” she trailed off and placed one hand on her lower stomach as though trying to perform some kind of divination for an answer. 

Lance sat back and stared up at the ceiling. “...You know what it would mean, don’t you?”

“Lance…”

He stared at her. “And you know the life they’d have. That you’d have. You know that. I’ve told you about it. You’ve been to Ira. You…” Lance winced, his voice breaking with the weight of it. He rubbed at his chest as though it could rid him of the feeling. “...You know that I can’t… can’t p-protect…shit!” Lance whipped away from her outstretched hand and stood, crossing the room and facing the wall with his hands clenched in his hair, eyes clenched shut. The room felt like it was shaking and he leaned forward, gasping for breath through the panic. 

She padded across the room and laid one hand on his shoulder, gently turning him and beckoning him close until the two slid to the floor intertwined and sat there, still for moments that turned into minutes and then into what at least felt like hours. 

Lance wasn’t prone to fits of emotion so emerging from the cloud of it felt like he’d been punched a couple times in the head or had come in exceptionally late from a night of drinks. He blinked back any leftover tears and took her in where she sat beside him. She was small, frail looking. Her face was stiff as though every thought was focused on holding herself together. Gently, Lance cupped her cheek in his hand and tilted her close. 

“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “...I don’t want to pressure you, but…”

She laid her own hand over his. “...I know.” Looking away for a moment to collect herself, she then turned. “I just need some time to figure out how I feel. It doesn’t feel real to me yet.”

“...Right.”

She moved closer and tucked her face into the crook of his neck, resting her head against his chest. Lance wrapped his arm around her and rubbed along her arm in slow movements. The idea of this moment being one of a final few before everything went to shit terrified him- the concept that after today, everything would change in a way he couldn’t change back was overwhelming. But there was nothing he could do, so he sat there, powerless, and held her. 

—-----

In the following week and a half, she said little to nothing of the situation, though it hung in the air between them anytime they were together. She did not drink and went to bed early, citing fatigue. She spoke of homework, things that Rio had said to her in class, what new meals they were serving in the infirmary, and what her little cat had been up to with Gruscha off in the forest. Overall, she acted entirely normal. 

Meanwhile Lance was slowly losing his mind. 

Lance swished around the remaining bit of whiskey in his glass and then clumsily shot it back before dropping the glass unceremoniously. He slumped over the bar counter face-down, face buried in his crossed arms, and didn’t respond when Hawke landed a hard slap on his back. 

“Oy lad, you’ve been acting a bit off. You gonna say anything about it one of these days?” he asked, sliding into the seat beside him. “You know, it’s not good to drown away all your sorrows.”

“Like you’re one to talk,” Lance muttered, pulling his face up to shoot a glare at the older man.

Hawke held up his hands in mock defensiveness. “All I’m saying is you’re acting a bit more gloomy than usual.”

“I concur, there is something strange going on.”

Lance inwardly groaned as a familiar flirty arm snuck its way around his shoulder and the scent of a particular cologne wafted toward him as Fenn leaned in close. “Get off,” he groaned, weakly swatting him away. 

“Well, I’m glad I’m not the only one who sees it then,” Hawke said solemnly. 

Fenn peered at Lance in a way that made him squirm. Fenn didn’t take many things seriously but he was weirdly perceptive and could guess a weakness or worry in another person with disturbing precision. More than once during a bar outing the other prince had disarmed an unruly patron by saying just the right thing that would make them squirm and retreat. Having that gaze turned on him made Lance’s skin crawl so he turned away and gestured to the bartender for another drink. 

“I think not, lad,” Hawke said, smacking his hand down. “You’re had more than enough for the night. I don’t want to return you to MC completely sloshed.”

At her name, Lance tensed and Fenn gave him a knowing pat. “Ah, I see! Something to do with Treasure, then,” Fenn said with a grin, leaning in close. “Trouble in paradise?”

“Hush,” Lance grumbled, shoving him back. “And stop calling her that.”

“Well, is there?” Hawke asked, folding his arms. “Is that what’s been bringing you here so much lately?”

Lance didn’t respond and turned away, gritting his teeth. 

Fenn sat beside him, bending to catch his eye. “You know, I have quite a bit of experience with women. Perhaps I could lend you my advice.”

“I do not need advice from you, of all people,” Lance hissed. His head was beginning to pound. 

Fenn pretended at offense with a dramatic hand to his chest. “Well, you don’t know until you try. It won’t hurt any more than what you’re doing to yourself already, from the looks of it.”

“I agree with that. Why not just get it off your chest?” Hawke chimed in. His face was uncharacteristically stern and serious. “Listen, I’ve watched you come in here every night for the last week and you’ve said hardly more than a sentence each time. You know I’m not one to pry.”

Lance grumbled and resisted the urge to push back from the bar and storm off into the night. Irritated at the intrusion, he mumbled to himself and sat up, eyebrows knit in displeasure. “...Yes, fine. Issues with the two of us. For us. We aren’t fighting, it’s… something else. There, you happy now?” 

Fenn and Hawke shared a glance, mystified. 

“So no lover’s quarrel then?” Fenn probed. 

“No.”

“You didn’t fight? You didn’t do something to her?” Hawke leaned in closer.

Lance sighed. Do something to her? In a manner of speaking, he did- so he prickled and slid off from his seat at the counter and dug in his pockets for coins. “We didn’t fight,” he replied, tossing the payment onto the bar. At that, he slung his jacket back over his shoulders and waved at the two still seated and staring at him in confusion. 

“So you did do something… oh! Lance?!”

The door swung shut behind him and Lance stumbled off from the bar in the direction of the Academy thoroughly hammered. His heart thumped through his chest and his limbs felt as though they’d been turned to stone. As the Academy gates came more into view, his stomach slightly turned and he found himself instead heading toward the forest. He needed to try to think somewhere peaceful; somewhere that didn’t feel like a prison at the best of times. 

The usual spot was, as usual, empty. Gruscha or any woodland creatures were all abed by now so the clearing was still and the water in the pond was motionless, reflecting in a perfect still image the moon that hung above. Lance slid down and rolled onto his back with a thud, starfished across the cool grass. He blinked wearily up at the moon, which shone a cold and pure white. 

If anyone ever asked, Lance was not the religious type. Not even when he had a good reason to be. Some people prayed to gods, apparitions, idols. Some prayed to loved ones they’d lost, which he understood a bit better. After the loss of his mother, he’d tried it himself and found that the words hung hollow and meaningless without her there in the flesh to hear them. If only it’d felt like she could hear him or else he knew he’d be asking her about what to do now. Who else understood the gravity of this moment? She had to have felt similar things- she’d raised him alone in the desert instead of in the palace for a reason after all. 

At some point in the past week, he’d begun to think of the pregnancy not of some indiscernible threat, but the real, flesh-and-blood thing that it was. There was still time, of course, to undo what had been done, but her silence on the matter had made him suspect that she’d decided against ending it. Which had driven him utterly insane: he had never loved anyone with the intensity he loved her. Creator, she was everything and more to him. After Lutz had died, Lance had been convinced that whatever part of him existed for other people had been thoroughly ripped up and stomped on, but there she’d come ten years later, bringing him to life. Making him feel again. It was terrifying.

The idea of losing her to the machine that was Ira, just because she unintentionally carried an heir, was terrifying. And Lance knew that whatever baby they’d have in some hypothetical future, he’d love it with everything in him. There was no future where he didn’t. He remembered the intensity of his mother’s love, the way it seemed to tear at her as she died and how she grieved herself for him. He knew in his gut he’d feel the same kind of love for his own child. 

He closed his eyes. How would he manage if she said she was keeping it? What would he do? Addis had met her before, albeit briefly, so he already knew of her existence. Inevitably he had spies at least occasionally check in on his son and if they were seeing him, they would see her. If she was visibly pregnant, they’d know and so would the king. There would be no avoiding the disaster coming full speed their way. There was no future in which Addis would not intervene to bring that child into his clutches. The allure of their ancient magic and the power it held would be too much to resist.

The matter of ancient magic was another thing. Her latent ancient magic had the ability to bend space and time, including the ability to replenish the magical stores of others. It was an incredible thing to witness and she’d saved his ass on more than one occasion by using it. But it was also unmistakably a weapon that could be used for evil, just as Lance’s own magic could. Even if their child was born without an ounce of magical prowess, it wouldn’t matter. Addis would have her.

i started thinking about this more so here's a whole post of them lmao:

guy doesn't listen to music but if he did he'd secretly listen to dad rock. but straight up i think he mostly sits in silence, not a music person.

lynt listens to those 14 hour soothing music to fall asleep to videos on youtube. otherwise? i think he listens to like, corrinne bailey rae. just listens to "put your records on" bobbing his head side to side smiling

lance listens to emo music sometimes. broody shit, like three days grace. otherwise alternative stuff, perhaps blues/americana/rock.

toa opts for classical a lot of the time because it's good music to work while listening to but genuinely i think he will and does listen to anything and everything. he seemingly knows and has heard of everyone and everything. would secretly like k-pop probably idk.

rio listens to pop music. top 40 hits, or like 90's throwback stuff. he doesn't understand or listen to lyrics very well and often mishears lyrics entirely and will then sing things very incorrectly, just a whole other song. also, he likes country.

fenn... is difficult to place for this one bc i feel like he'd at least kind of like most stuff. i do feel like he'd like some abba, bon jovi, fleetwood mac... plus i think he'd be fond of r&b in particular, for somwhat obvious reasons. i feel like he'd be into sea shanties if he were drunk.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH?!?!?!?!!!!!!?!??

i thought it’d be toa but i’m very happy with this