i'll make a lil pinned post for this webbed site
I'm Amber, known in a lot of places by a lot of different names, foremost among them "Supreme Dirt" or "Bowser the Train" historically. I'm a weird lil fag living in Chile with a partner, long estranged from my blood family in Canada and building a new one in the middle of Santiago.
I'm an aspiring seamstress and singer, former and current speedrunner, and I do a lot of fiberwork. I'm in love with the world and life and everything within it. I'm trans in a way that makes the cis uncomfortable, uninterested in adhering to some consistent gender classification or even, often, name. Identity is fluid and everchanging and sometimes the pronouns and gender and names just shift - that's how it is.
The distinction between friend and partner for me is a blurry road that i'm uninterested in looking for the edges of - I exist to love, and the label is unimportant so long as I can bring peace and joy and happiness to the hearts of those most important to me. I am "aromantic" but only in the sense that what people often describe as romantic love simply does not wholly describe the way i love, feels like a conflation of what to me are seperate emotions or simply limerence. Yet, I am assured they are not, and thus I suppose what I feel must simply be something wholly different to both the supposed romantic and platonic definitions thrown about.
My body has been destroyed and rebuilt, time and again - it is a temple, one that I rebuilt from the ruins of those who would see it broken and forgotten and one that I, and I alone, choose the boundaries of. I have transitioned, detransitioned, retransitioned, bodybuilt, slimmed, and recovered from all manner of injury.
My only ambition is to give some small succour to those around me who need and want it. When I was young I learned one day the universe would cease to be, and my entire life since has been one long attempt to find meaning in that. I believe I have.
I won't post here much, or follow *terribly* much on here. Social media is simply something I find to be unhealthy for myself, but occasionally one does need a place to write to throw a bottle to the sea, in the hopes that someone, somewhere, will find some value in it. In a world that is increasingly filled with AI and slop, the only solution is to try and fill the void with our own words such that others may find the oasis in the desert that is the modern internet. I also hope to one day share more of my art here, but if you click this page in search of "content" then you may wish to turn away.
