Scheduling a meeting (European edition):
🇩🇪 German: “Tuesday at 9:00 works. Not 9:05, not 9:02. 9:00. I’ll send an agenda in advance with time buffers and a designated minute-taker.”
🇫🇷 French: “Before noon, impossible — I’m having my coffee. Noon to 2pm is lunch, which is sacred. After 5pm the trains are on strike. Shall we say… next year?”
🇮🇹 Italian: “Sure, let’s say 3pm! (arrives at 3:40) But first, coffee. Then we talk about life a little. And then — maybe — about the meeting.”
🇪🇸 Spanish: “2pm? That’s when I eat. 5pm is siesta. Come at 9pm for dinner and we’ll sort everything out.”
🇬🇧 British: “Would Thursday possibly work? Only if it’s not too much trouble — but really, only if it suits you. So sorry to even ask.”
🇨🇭 Swiss: “The meeting begins at 14:00:00 and ends at 14:00:00. It is already over. It was on time.”
🇳🇱 Dutch: “Let’s keep it short. Fifteen minutes, we split the cost of the meeting, and I’ll tell you to your face that your idea is bad. No problem, right?”
🇸🇪 Swedish: “First, fika. Then we discuss until everyone agrees — including the intern. This takes until September, but then everyone is truly happy.”
🇦🇹 Austrian: “Can we do it after lunch? And a coffee before? Honestly the whole week doesn’t really suit me, but let’s see, ah well, fine.”
🇧🇪 Belgian: “I’ll ask the Walloon government first, then the Flemish, then Brussels. Once they agree — so, never — I’ll get back to you.”
🇵🇱 Polish: “I’m free anytime. I was already there before you sent the email.”
🇬🇷 Greek: “A meeting? Of course! Which year exactly are you thinking of?”
🇩🇰 Danish: “5pm? That’s when I pick up the kids and cycle home. Work is abolished after 4pm. Hygge.”
🇮🇪 Irish: “Let’s just meet at the pub, it’ll be more productive anyway.”
🇳🇴 Norwegian: “Can’t, I’m at the cabin in the mountains. No signal, no electricity, don’t want any either. Earliest after winter.”
🇵🇹 Portuguese: “Yes, yes, let’s do it. Sometime. Amanhã, perhaps — but that doesn’t necessarily mean tomorrow.”
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