Abominably Yours

take me down to the ##USER_CITY## where the grass is ##COLOUR## and the girls are ##USER_PREFERENCE##

”Explain yourself” followed by “stop making excuses” has always baffled me because the fuck you think explaining myself is????

drinking water is really good for you and helps you feel better but I cantt fucking figure out where does the water go when you drink it. it just leaves

It's fun being queer and weird and unconventional until you remember you live in a society

I can tell my evil advisor has been feeling down lately so I've been pretending to take big sips from his cursed chalice and then roaming the palace grounds groaning and clutching my abdomen. Lowkey I know it's deceptive but I can tell it's really cheering him up. I heard him evilly cackle for the first time in weeks. WIBTA if I keep doing this

actually hate that the bodys response to anything is nausea. ate too much? nauseous. ate too little? nauseous. an imaginary threat got you scared? be nauseous. on your period? you guessed it. sawed into your hand and need to go to the emergency room? perhaps throwing up into your open wound will be of help

the ashtrays in airplane bathrooms are a fascinating harm reduction metaphor. yes it's illegal as hell to smoke in there. yes there's a smoke detector that will snitch on you the second you light up. so why is there an ashtray? because if there weren't, your single momentary dumbass crime could kill 300 people. it is fucking vital that if someone does have a lit cigarette on a plane, they have a place to safely put it out.

it's always "did you really need to burn down your workplace to prove a point" and never "how was the revenge arson? did you have fun doing revenge arson? were the flames pretty?"

um.

bro i fucking hate living next to a fucking tavern they always have the worst fucking singers performing on saturdays

"do it scared" ok but I would like to do something some other way occasionally. Like at least once. For a change.