AB Elizabeth

Something to remember.

Luke Skywalker, from Star Wars (prosthetic hand).

Barbara Gordon/Batwoman/Oracle, from D.C. (paralysed from the waist down).

Cassandra Cain/Batgirl, from D.C. (deaf).

Cyborg/Victor Stone, from D.C. (basically entire body of prosthetics).

Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier/Captain America, from Marvel (prosthetic arm).

Thor, from Marvel (missing an eye, in some comics and the MCU).

Odin, from Marvel (missing an eye).

Clint Barton/Hawkeye/Ronin, from Marvel (deaf, in the comics).

Matt Murdock/Daredevil, from Marvel (blind).

Charles Xavier/Professor X, from Marvel (paralysed from the waist down).

James ‘Rhodey’ Rhodes/War Machine/The Iron Patriot from Marvel (paralysed from the waist down, in the MCU).

Cable/Nathan Summers, from Marvel (mechanical prosthetic eye and arm).

Tony Stark/Iron Man, from Marvel (implant to save his heart, briefly paralysed from the waist down in the comics).

Doctor Mid-Nite/Charles McNider, from Marvel (blind).

Misty Knight, from Marvel (prosthetic arm).

Madame Web, from Marvel (blind).

Jubilee, from Marvel (dyscalculia, a numbers-based learning disability).

Stephen Strange/Doctor Strange, from Marvel (extensive nerve damage to his hands).

Wade Wilson/Deadpool, from Marvel (chronic pain).

Flash Thompson/Agent Venom, from Marvel (double amputee).

Nebula, from Marvel (multiple mechanical prosthetics).

Makkari/an Eternal, from Marvel (deaf, in the MCU, played by a deaf actress).

Jake Sully from Avatar (paralysed from the waist down).

Geordi La Forge from Star Trek. (blind).

Imperator Furiosa from Mad Max: Fury Road (prosthetic arm).

Quasimodo from The Hunchback Of Notre Dame (physical abnormalities).

Captain Barbossa from Pirates Of The Caribbean, arguably a hero or villain or generally neutral but definitely chaotic and badass (leg amputee).

Alastor ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody, from the Harry Potter series (prosthetic eye, prosthetic leg).

Xander Harris, from Buffy The Vampire Slayer (partially blind, at the end of the television show and throughout the comics).

Augustus Waters, from The Fault In Our Stars (prosthetic leg).

Peeta Mellark, from The Hunger Games (prosthetic leg, in the books).

It infuriates me

.Sometimes I ask myself, ‘where do they find these people?’ It makes me understand why people don’t like Christians. Trust me I get it. I don’t know why the news only interviews the Christians that are so unlike Christ and have their own agenda.

I turn off the news. There is no point in me watching it. It made me mad. It put a fear in me. The fear was that I would never be able to be with a girl who was a Christian. I used to watch it all the time. It’s not healthy to watch the news as much as I did. In my opinion 24 hours of news is too much. I remember the breaking point. I was watching CNN with Anderson Cooper. He was doing a segment on Pat Robertson who is a ‘TV Evangelist’. He is one of the hosts on 700 Club. It was ridiculous. He kept talking about how gay people were possessed by demons etc. You know an interview is bad when you can literally make fun of the person by saying what they said verbatim. I stopped watching the news. I know that makes me ‘uneducated’ but it wasn’t worth it. had to find my peace with it. You can’t control what people say. Some people are not willing to be open and listen to what you have to say.   

I’m struggling to start writing this. 

I found out about the Orlando club shooting while at a party at my friends house. It was getting later in the day and we were all laying lazily outside on a blanket. It was the picture perfect moment. For some reason or another I pulled out my phone to get on Instagram. 

I saw the flood of posts with rainbow hearts and people saying that they were praying for Florida. Specifically Orlando. My heart sunk a little lower as I fumbled with my phone to google what had happened. Then I heard that it was at a gay club and fifty people were dead. Also that it was the biggest mass shooting in America. And it happened to the LGBT community. That is unsettling.

My heart broke. I didn’t know how to be there for my community while still in the closet. When I told my friends what had happened they had a sad look on their face but I could tell that they weren’t as affected by it as much as I was. I tried to hide it but I’m not as good as I think I am. 

I looked at my friend who was the first person that I came out to. She was so loving and accepting. She looked like she wanted to wrap her arms around me but knew that wasn’t what I wanted. So instead we took a picture with our hands forming hearts. It was truly a bittersweet moment. It was all I thought about the rest of the day. I saw the posts and pictures of people in the LGBT community mourning and all I could do was cry with them. 

I’ve been ignoring social media and the news because I know I’ll cry. This morning though I got on Facebook. There was a video showing some of the pictures of the victims and all the names. As I watched each name passed by all I could say was this.

“I love you and I’m sorry.”

So what do we do? How do we react in the midst of tragedy? Obviously we do what we can for Florida. Donate blood, money, our time etc. But also we need to love one another. We need to love the LGBT community, people of every religion and we need to love on those who choose hate. I know that I am Christian but that doesn’t mean I don’t respect those of different religions. I look at my Muslim friends and I am scared for them. They are truly some of the nicest and most genuine and loving people I have ever met. I love them to death and they should be able to live in this country without fear and anxiety. I want to grab them all and give them a huge hug. 

The worst thing that we could do is respond with hate. Right now all I can do is pray and whatever is needed of me. 

I love you all.