Naneun Ireon Saramiya ^^

160512 Ok so im going to go.. Idk what else.. I texted my chingu lol and we're driving tomorrow..i hope i did not surprise her too much

160511 Indecisive that i am. Im still not sure if im gonna go to edmonton with tita in two days. I hate it when i have to decide for myself. I wanna go but im considering things like i might just be a nuisance there like everyone's working..

160510 We went out for a jog but we walked two blocks haha and grabbed some tim hortons.

160509 The forecast said watch out for heavy pollen weather. This would be our first allergy weather experience we'd have. And i dont like it..😷 But I find the white flying pollens cute.

160508 With all the unlucky days we had, this day is the worst so far hahahaha. We were locked out of the house like seriously none of us brought keys and phones and money..no nothting. And the highlight? Dad left his key hidden at the backdoor...really frustrating because we waited at the backFREAKINGdoor for like 4hrs and we didnt see it.

This maybe is the reason why i had a good read in bed...The Outsiders is really something tho

160506 Got to have an intense life realization with my chingu.. I really like to have conversations with someone who have cool ideas and someone who understands me..shes really one of my favorite human beings.. Like shes that kind who points out her points but still asks for yours. I mean she does not make me feel like i am just a listener and that i have someone who listens to me. This is so good I need to keep it here: "hope that we take the right one. Or if its a wrong train, that we would be dauntless enough to jump off. Or that even if its the wrong one we might make the best out of it. That no matter how many wrong train we take, we may never get tired of waiting." -chingudeul

160505 I really dont understand how some people get so angry easily raising their tones when you didnt even do anything wrong. It got to my nerve really. We were from the Church and i felt so calm and peaceful and light, joking around with my sis. But that one sentence of unreasonable anger made me so down. I nearly cried i was holding back my tears too well. One single sentence and it ruined my day. I didnt get out of my room all day.. Even hid from the relatives that visited us.. I felt like despising them like i did not want to acknowledge them as my relatives. I even thought of marrying NOW to dump my surname that i am stuck forever… Whoaaaa really it escalated that much.

160504 Got a lot of me time. I liked it. I liked to have so much time for myself. But i feel so guilty. My life isnt just about me. I have my fam and all those people around. They seem so rushed and dedicated, motivated. They are living their lives. While i dont even try to survive. Guess i should start looking for a job.

160503 There many relatives i do not know about and it is so amazing how we get to know them here. Like they do super cool jobs and are rich people. Makes me think how can i call them my family when im just the ordinary me.

160502 The sun is scorching hot outside and i am a vampire.. The heat bothers me. But sis asked me out. I srsly didnt wanna go but what can i do? She's gonna start working at the store where she was transferred soon so she craves the outdoors. Really. the sun. omygoodness..now i think how we did ever survived walking under the ph sun back home. Buying drinks from the starbucks is so lavish. i cannot afford that adjective. But sis is into it. It isnt so bad if we waste money once in a while. And it was her treat so...

160501 Im not into hiking and i dont do it. But i went with them fam and climbed the Grouse Grind. Its so exhausting. Thought i'd faint. Or my legs collapse. But i love the feeling of reaching the top. The feeling of youve achieved something and want to brag it to everyone. Im not into hiking but i like to reach the top of every mountain. It is a delemma that fits with me rn. Like i wanna pursue my profession but i dont like the process. And i'd do it anyway because it is the only way.

160430 Thought my arms are gonna wear off.. Oh the struggles. Im not letting anyone see im weak physically and emotionally so-- Orz Its my cousin's birthday and kids are all over the place... Meanwhile me and sibs are in a room.. secluded hahaha

160429 Took a break from my daily lone-me-room-alone 😂😂😂 we went shopping groceries at hannam.. To see the cute korean cashier lol i mean to help mom carry the groceries. Haha

160428 After worship service, we decided to walk a block away from our bus stop to catch an earlier bus. But it started raining hard and we needed to run. I really hate running. I thought i was gonna faint. Got my feet and hands cold. And i began to see blurry. Im so weak. Even my sibs see me a vulnerable one worrying that i may get sick..when we ran the same distance. Im so paper thin physically and emotionally..orz

160427 That abscbn jingle song made me think deep about life...and i think i am so left out...a loser. Where everyone is working their butts off to make a living or gain experiences for professional purposes, i am here waiting for the food to eat. I am a total embarrassment.

160426 Everyone is teasing me because lola from the US called and told mom that i am a good cook..just because o cooked rice..lol omg