Aaron

CHAPTER 1: Houseguests

Friend. Is that what Pure Vanilla wanted? What an inconceivable concept. The definition for such a word was so vague and complex that Pure Vanilla could never even know what a friend really is. Even so, Shadow Milk couldn't rid the thought from his mind.

In his defense, the past week had been spent floating aimlessly in his other realm and the only real distractions that existed there were Black Sapphire and Candy Apple whose presence only annoyed him right now. Other than talking to them, the only thing to do was think.

What exactly happened in the Spire? That bright light that had surrounded Pure Vanilla Cookie. It was blinding. With a shiny new look to top it off. All Shadow Milk could do was growl as he bit at his claw-like nails.

"Ahem.. Master Shadow Milk Cookie"

A smooth voice broke the silence that had persisted for what Shadow Milk assumed had been hours by then.

"Surely the Spire should be safe to return to by now? Even if you're still recovering, Candy and I have been doing some reconnaissance and we haven't located any signs of cookies anywhere"

The only reply Black Sapphire recieved was a noncommittal hum before Shadow Milk turned his back on him and ripped a hole into the inky black void that surrounded them. The light of the outside world was almost painful after so long spent in the other realm and all of the eyes nestled in his hair squinted at the familiar sight. Home.

With a stretch and a sigh, Shadow Milk used a rope of his magic to lasso his minions together before he took a plunge out of the portal, falling from the sky with the bat cookies trailing behind. Any ordinary cookie would have panicked, but Candy Apple's squeals were out of absolute delight instead of fear.

"I suppose it's about time we start working on a new plan!"

It seemed to be the first time Shadow Milk had grinned since his defeat. If nothing else, his companions did prove humorous from time to time. With a flick of his wrist he released the bat siblings from his grasp and watched as the fluttered back down to solid ground with Shadow Milk following suit.

----

Exactly how the deceitful trio had ended up in the swalls of the sickeningly sweet Vanilla Kingdom was admittedly somewhat fuzzy. There had been a lot of discussion and since clearly brute strength was no longer an option with Pure Vanilla's new 'upgrade', their next best option was some kind of emotional manipulation. If trust could be established it would be significantly easier to simply snag Pure Vanilla's Soul Jam directly from his chest in his sleep.

Thus, Shadow Milk, Candy Apple, and Black Sapphire had snuck their way into Pure Vanilla's bedchambers. It wasn't too terribly difficult to pick out which room would be fit for a king, especially with the suffocating smell of vanilla and lilies. The first thing Shadow Milk had done was to crush the poor, white petals to a fine powder. Much better.

He lay on the bed and wait while Candy Apple did her own redecorating, knocking any items over that she assumed Shadow Milk didn't like. Even after his long retreat in the other realm, Shadow Milk was still weakened from his original spat with Pure Vanilla, so a portal across continents had certainly tired him out. If he had any more energy, he might have told her to stop just so he wouldn't have to trouble himself with fixing it all later, but who was he to deny her some good fun?

They didn't have to wait long before their (rather her) antics had apparently drawn the attention of Pure Vanilla who no doubt believed that some bird had flown into his room. In a way, Shadow Milk supposed that might not be a complete lie. At least two of the cookies in the room had wings.

The only thing that amused Shadow Milk more than Candy Apple's excitement was the momentary look of shock and horror that plastered itself on Pure Vanilla's face. Shadow Milk didn't even bother to get up and greet him properly.

"Nilly~ ! Funny meeting me here huh? Say, this thing is pretty comfy! Where can I get my own huh? Every good host provides the upmost amenities to his guests! Wouldn't you agree?"

Shadow Milk couldn't help but purr with a satisfied smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. He didn't miss the way Pure Vanilla's grip tightened on his staff, but what was more interesting was how he steeled his face after the initial shock

"My.. guests?"

"Well duh! That's what I said! I know you got those new feathery things on your ears now but I hope they still work because we both know you can't rely on your eyes! We've got two actual bats in the room with us and you're still the blindest one here!"

Apparently, Vanilla didn't find this joke funny. Shadow Milk could tell from the way his jaw tightened and the prolonged silence that followed. Shadow Milk finally dragged himself up from the bed with a dramatic groan and floated to where the Ancient stood.

"Do I really need to spell it out for you? This was your idea after all! Don't you remember, friend? I'll admit it! You were right!"

He twisted around in the air in a theatric fainting motion

"It gets awfully lonely in my Spire! I am simply a single father looking for companionship!"

That was when Black Sapphire and Candy Apple spoke up.

"A father? I hardly think you qualify as our father figure," Sapphire scoffed.

"Oh Master Shadow Milk Cookie! I just knew we were like a big family!"

Candy Apple's input was much more appreciated even if the idea of family made Shadow Milk scowl. His attention immediately snapped to Black Sapphire who simply fiddled with his microphone.

"Well excuse me! I quite remember teaching a certain set of siblings how to fly and read and write! I even stayed up at night with your sister when she was freshly baked! Oh you think she's loud now, you don't even know how she cried and cried and cried when she was a baby!"

The familial tension broke when a tiny laugh sounded from the doorway. Pure Vanilla had that stupid look on his face again. His smile was wide and genuine as he laughed at the situation. His useless, milky eyes had ever slitted open seemingly to take in the blurs of colors he was laughing at.

---

As much as Shadow Milk resented being laughed at so openly, it did appear to be his ticket into Pure Vanilla's personal itinerary as he was shortly after shown to a moderately sized room by a very discreet set of select castle staff. Candy Apple and Black Sapphire were also provided rooms next to his. Even if they did have to stay in such a revolting place, at the very least they would never be too far from one another.

"I must say, this is.. quite surprising."

"Oh? What? I thought you'd miss me~" Shadow Milk feigned a pout "I did an awful lot of reflection since last time, trust me! A week in the other realm can be dreadfully boring if you aren't used to holding a conversation with yourself!"

"Is that so?"

There was something on Pure Vanilla's face that Shadow Milk didn't like the look of. A flicker of hope. Disgusting. But, it did mean he was apparently playing his role well. Even so, he tore his eyes away from Pure Vanilla's face and focused on the new wing-like appendages that had sprouted behind his ears after his awakening. He couldn't help but groan at the state they were in. It looked as though he hadn't preened them at all since they had appeared. Shadow Milk was willing to bet money on the fact that he hadn't even tried.

"Uhg, do you even know how to take care of these? I know it's not exactly normal for cookies to spontaneously sprout wings, but you didn't even think to pick up a book? Typical old fool"

Shadow Milk's impulsive nature had him reaching out to pick at the feathers without thinking. The wings shot backwards at his approach and their owner had also leaned ever so slightly away though it seems as though the wings were much more emotional than the cookie they were attached to.

"Look, I'll level with you here, I've had a very very long week. I'm spent. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't hurt you. So just give me the damn wings before you give yourself an infection. I've been told my claws are especially suited for the job~"

He ended on a high note, fondly remembering time spent with Eternal Sugar Cookie many eons ago. Slowly but surely Pure Vanilla's tiny wings stretched to the full length. They trembled in Shadow Milk's hand, but the work was doable anyway. His focus was entirely on removing the excess keratin on any growing pin feathers and taking away feathers which were beginning to molt or break. Then, he repositioned the plumes that he had ruffled. He floated back with a satisfied huff, proud of the job he had done on such an intricate level.

"Go ahead and fluff 'em out, birdy. I don't normally charge for my services, but I would accept if you paid me in compliments"

Pure Vanilla ran his fingers across the newly preened surface of the wings with a gentle smile

"Hm, they do feel much better. Thank you, Shadow Milk Cookie. You've done a wonderful job. At least, as far as I'm aware.."

Pure Vanilla chuckled at the admittance of his own ignorance.

"Yeah yeah, whatever. Just sweep up your feathers before you leave! I've got some Well deserved Z's to catch up on!"

Shadow Milk shooed Pure Vanilla from the room but before he left, he gave Shadow Milk a final, lingering smile

"I'll do my best to understand you, Shadow Milk. I promise you don't have to be alone anymore."

Beasts didn't need sleep much like they didn't need food, water, or even to breath. That didn't mean Shadow Milk didn't sleep. Typically, sleep was a blissful escape from the waking world. Tonight was not so blissful. He tossed and turned mercilessly. This mattress wasn't nearly as comfortable as Pure Vanilla's had been. How rude.

In between wakefulness and sleep he clutched at his Soul Jam. The gem glowed faintly, the light pulsing painfully. The most infuriating part was that he didn't know why and he was too tired to figure it out. It's other half was somewhere decently nearby, closer than usual at least, so it couldn't possibly be complaining about distance. His dreams weren't exactly pleasant, but it wasn't as if he was having nightmares. All he could do was growl into a pillow and let his claws dig into the fabric.

He was half-tempted to throw the accursed object across the room. He couldn't stand it anymore. Off with it. Maybe this was unhealthy, but nobody else was around to berate him for it. With shaking hands, he undid the clasp that held to brooch to his chest and stuffed it somewhere in the void of his hair, chucking it haphazardly into the other realm.

This always resulted in an interesting feeling. Straying too far away from the Soul Jam was dangerous at best and catastrophic at worst. The thing about the other realm was that it was simultaneously a part of Shadow Milk, a manifestation of his magic that was quite literally hidden in his hair and between every thread of reality, and some other dimension entirely. It left him in a state of half-being. Alive physically, but all of the facets of his personality that made him Shadow Milk Cookie floated aimlessly in an abyss of his own creation. Even if his mind, or rather his soul, was still racing with unprocessed thoughts and emotions, his body had finally closed its eyes in a fuzzy haze of partial consciousness.

---

The next sound he heard was knocking, rather banging, at his door. He didn't rise even an inch. The rise and fall of his chest was shallow, almost non-existent. When the door opened, the lifeless marionette laying on his bed was unable to pinpoint who had entered the room. Some kind of commotion was happening outside of his limp limbs. Then, his hand was being guided into his own hair. His glossed over eyes didn't even begin to comprehend the scene around him until his fingers met a cold metallic casing.

He shot to life as he grasped the Soul Jam in his hand, clinging onto it and pulling it back through the heavy black of the other realm. It was only then that he recognized the faces in the room. Black Saphire with his hand still around Shadow Milk's wrist. Candy Apple wallowing next to the bed as if she hadn't seen this a million times before. And Pure Vanilla standing tall in the doorway, wings fluttering around wildly in panic.

"I can't do this every single time you have a bout of insomnia"

Sapphire deadpanned, letting Shadow Milk's hand fall back down onto his chest.

Shadow Milk's body twitched unnaturally as the feeling returned to his extremities. Then came a prolonged yawn and a stretch that make his bones pop and crack under the pressure of movement.

Candy Apple stood quickly and jumped around on the floor.

"Master Shadow Milk Cookie is up!" She beamed "Can we eat now? Please please pleeeaaaseeee!"

Her wings fluttered in excitement in the same way that Pure Vanilla's had flapped around with no chance of gaining flight.

"What.. what was that?" He voice was as gentle as ever but still seemed to cut through Candy's excitable screams.

"Huh? Oh yeah I guess yours doesn't do that. Good for nothing Jam thief." Shadow Milk replied lazily, still trying to wet his eyes again after they had dried out in the night.

"Just a little trick us original holders can get away with!"

Black Sapphire scoffed, clearly annoyed thinking about the number of times he had had to bring Shadow Milk back to life.

"Look, kid, at least you're just.. waking me up. Some kids have to call poison control when their daddies overdose"

Everyone except Candy Apple recoiled from the comment, trying not to imagine something like that happening. Shadow Milk grinned knowing it had diverted attention away from his corpselike slumber.

With a snap of his fingers, Shadow Milk was back in his normal attire and he was affixing his Soul Jam back onto his ruff, rubbing his sleeve over it until it shone.

"Ahem! There is a certain young lady in this room who's made it abundantly clear that she is simply dying of starvation! Everyone out! Out!"

Shadow Milk floated along behind the group still picking at the details of his outfit as if it were even possible that the 'threads' could be coming loose.

---

Breakfast was awkward. It was silent. Too silent. So much so that Shadow Milk was currently entertaining himself by playing soft phantom-like melodies and watching Pure Vanilla turn his head every which direction trying to figure out where they were coming from or whether they were real in the first place.

They were sitting in a rather remote area of the castle, hidden away from the view of prying cookies. The eyes in his hair peeked in every which direction counting the number of hidden security officers who no doubt believed themselves to be well hidden. One in a raftors waiting to pounce. Someone waiting on the balcony pretending to be a member of the waitstaff. Even the chef who lingered awkwardly in the room looked like he was hiding something in his shoes by the awkward gait with which he walked.

"Witches above! This crowd is giving me nothing to work with! How exactly am I supposed to make friends if everyone is too shy, huh? Pure Vanilla, I don't know if you noticed, but your employees are being pretty rude if you ask me! Spying on a poor innocent cookie!"

Shadow Milk fluttered his lashes but was met with no ounce of sympathy.

"Shadow Milk.." Pure Vanilla began slowly and sternly in a way that immediately put a scowl on Shadow Milk's face. "You are a very powerful entity and I've seen you use those powers to harm and crumble cookies in the past. I do apologize if you're uncomfortable, but please understand that I will not risk the safety of my kingdom to bend to your fleeting whims."

Unruly strands of hair lashed behind Shadow Milk's head and melted into one another appearing like a grotesque puddle of oil that betrayed the anger lying behind the toothy smile he wore.

"You little–!"

"Master Shadow Milk Cookie! I'm done!"

The hair dropped flat as soon as it had begun to dance. Candy Apple was sitting with those annoyingly wide eyes looking up at him with a smile that screamed "pay attention to me." And that he did.

"You! Uhg.. get up, up! Look at this mess! Syrup all over your clothes! I'm going to stop making these for you if you can't be more careful"

He summoned a wet wash cloth at once and began to rub at the new, sticky stains that adorned her dress. Then he wiped at her face, roughly enough to clean her up but surprisingly gentle for someone who called himself the beast of deceit.

"Even your hair is sticky.." he grumbled, turning her face this way and that as he assessed the damages with a sigh. "It's fine. I'm sure a good king wouldn't deny a little girl a bath. But after dinner."

He pinched he nose lightly with a laugh. Small, but real.

"Ah, if you like, I can run her one now"

"No, no, if you give her a bath now, she'll only be covered in something else by lunchtime. My little mischief maker! I really am such a proud papa!"

He wiped a fake tear away from the corner of his eye as he gave Candy a tiny twirl before sitting back in his seat. It seemed she was already running off to look around. He kept an eye locked on her at all times, hyper aware of any cookie in the room capable of causing her harm. Luckily her brother had followed suit, leaving him and Pure Vanilla more or less alone, although he figured that true privacy was a thing of the past. His hands unconsciously clasped around his Soul Jam and his jaw tightened. There wasn't a single staff member in the room who didn't have their sights locked tightly on the glittering jewel.

"While I may not trust your intentions, I can assure you that Candy Apple Cookie and Black Sapphire Cookie are completely safe. No harm will come to them as long as I have anything to say about it. Those were my direct orders, so you need not watch them quite so closely"

"Hm.." Clearly, Shadow Milk didn't give his trust out easily but as long as they stayed in the same room, he was willing to let his guard down ever so slightly. It was a large ballroom, but it was almost completely empty save for a few sparce table placements. Enough room for the kids to tire themselves out in at least.

"Are you saying you want me to watch you instead?~" He purred, leaning forward to put his chin in his hands, his shark-toothed smile gleaming in the light of the open balcony window. He caught the way those stupid, feathery wings bent ever so slightly to cover up Pure Vanilla's cheeks. Oh how he missed the days when he could make his Truthless Recluse sing such pretty songs with that same color in his face.

"Here's what I've noticed!" Shadow Milk floated up from his seat and stacked up the empty plates on the table. "Your plate is the only one that can't be cleaned up. Are you afraid I've poisoned you? Cast a spell? Snuck a love potion into your fruit salad?"

Shadow Milk conjured various cartoon images of Pure Vanilla choking on the food or falling hopelessly in love with the handsome blue devil himself.

"Hm.. concerning imagery aside, I'm afraid I'll have to disappoint you. I just don't have a very strong appetite."

Shadow Milk raked his eyes over the other man's form. Since the awakening, he looked significantly stronger and healthier. Bigger, taller, more muscular. There was simply no way that he hadn't accrued some type of ravenous appetite. The Soul Jams were one hell of an energy source, but that didn't mean they never got hungry. Sure, when the pieces had been together as the Soul Jam of Knowledge, he didn't remember ever really needing to take care of his body, but in their weakened states, it was still painful to go too long without food.

He squinted. How annoying. He couldn't imagine the saint Pure Vanilla Cookie being such a hypocrite. Truthless had been outright self-destructive, but this was something else. There was a calculated measure to the way Pure Vanilla lied through his teeth as if the Master of Deceit wouldn't see through such a thing.

"Ahem. May I point out something I notice then?"

"Huh?"

"You made an observation about me, so I think it's only fair if I do the same." Pure Vanilla smiled gently before continuing, "you've been gripping at your Soul Jam this whole time. Is it bothering you..?"

Shadow Milk actually hadn't quite noticed where his hands had been, but now he hesitated to move them. He peeked behind his hands just slightly to see a faint glow resonating from the object, blinking slowly like a heartbeat.

"Oh? You want me to tell you the truth when you so obviously lied to me just now? How ironic! Oh silly Vanilly~ Come on, use your head! I've got you figured out, so try me this time, huh?"

He winked before floating off to regroup with Candy Apple and Black Sapphire as they asked questions about a portrait humg on the other side of the room. Pure Vanilla sat alone at the table, looking on with a new crease in his brow. He whispered quietly to himself, his wings covering up his mouth like he was afraid of someone reading his lips.

Shadow Milk was already getting bored. It had hardly been a day in the Vanilla Kingdom, but it was dreadfully dull. He stared wistfully out of the sugar glass windows at the bustling town square, cookies smiling and trading details about their day. The only cookies he had interacted with were armed to the nines. Their attempts to conceal their weapons were pitiful as if they could seriously conceal anything from the Beast of Deceit.

Pure Vanilla Cookie had returned to his office to work on some paperwork on the other side of the castle; a wing that was heavily guarded and he wasn't allowed to enter. That certainly didn't stop him. After all, what were walls to someone who had portaled across continents? Pure Vanilla didn't even look surprised when Shadow Milk floated up directly through the floor.

"You're torturing me"

Shadow Milk groaned, flopping down on one of the couches on the wall opposite to Pure Vanilla's desk. Even this felt more comfortable than his bed.

"Is that so?"

Pure Vanilla's head didn't even rise as his fingers clacked away on a typewriter. His hands were focused entirely entirely on his work even if his staff, leaning against the wall, had its eye fixed on Shadow Milk.

"None of the cookies out there will even talk to me! It's so boring! There's nothing to do!"

He whined, twisting around on the cushions like he was genuinely suffering from some elaborate illness.

"Well, they are working. Why don't you visit the library? I will admit that most of the books are in braille though"

"Been there, done that! I've read every book that was published before my banishment."

At that, Pure Vanilla had to chuckle.

"Do you know how many books have been written since then? I'm not actually sure there are any books that were published before that point"

Truly Shadow Milk's interest was piqued, not that he would admit it. What he really wanted was attention, not a distraction. He would visit the library later. He wanted to catch up on the history he had missed.

"Nope! Don't wanna! I'm cold! Why don't you warm me up huh?~"

He floated over to brace his hands on the waffle cone desk. He already felt warmer just being close to Pure Vanilla. It was as if he radiated light and warmth.

With a resigned sigh, Pure Vanilla gestured to the chair Shadow Milk was currently floating right next to.

"If you want to, you can sit next to me while I work. You'll be waiting for an awful long time though."

He didn't know whether to smile at his triumph or roll his eyes at his defeat. He wasn't forced out, but it wasn't what he want. That didn't mean he didn't drag the chair to Pure Vanilla's side of the desk.

He leaned his head lightly on Pure Vanilla's shoulder, testing the waters while he read through the jargon the other was working on. Vanilla's shoulder tensed considerably, but he didn't say anything.

"You're even warmer now. That's probably the only thing you could hold over Truthless' head" Shadow Milk snorted.

–––

Just how long was Pure Vanilla going to stay holed up in this stuffy little room? The sun was practically starting to set! Shadow Milk was hardly a patient cookie. After hours of watching Pure Vanilla toil away he had begun to grow restless, throwing his head back and groaning every few seconds.

"I only have a few more reports to write, I promise."

Pure Vanilla voice sounded hoarse from disuse and his eyes were heavy and tired.

"... here. You looked like you were having a good time last time, so why don't you preen them while you wait?"

The wings on Pure Vanilla's ears stretched out making him appear even more radiant than before. When did he get so.. bright? It made Shadow Milk shiver and his jaw tighten.

"Fine."

He hated when Pure Vanilla was right. He did love the wings. They were deliciously soft. If he closed his eyes he could almost imagine running his hands through Eternal Sugar's feathers instead. Pure Vanilla's were softer though, and they fluttered ever so slightly if he pressed in the right spots. It was hard not to laugh when it happened.

"You're squirming, truther! Are they really that sensitive?"

"No. It's only because you're the one touching them"

"Aww~ maybe you really are falling for me, huh? Two halves of a whole! Thats so typically sappy of you"

"I'm more afraid than flustered really." The words were meager, but truthful, spoken with a tiny smile.

"I'm trying to be a friend for you, but our time in the Spire has not left my mind." Pure Vanilla's hands stopped moving as he turned to Shadow Milk, opening up his eyes. He could only make out the vague shapes of Shadow Milk's face, but it was enough. "Forgiveness is not easy, but forgetting is nigh impossible. I'm sure you can understand that better than anyone else."

Pure Vanilla moved his hands up to cup Shadow Milk's face, gently gliding his fingers along the expanse of powder blue skin like he was reading a book.

"I know you're impatient, but I need time. I want to know you better. I know there's goodness inside you. Will you give me the time I need to find it?"

The jester felt his head nod and a tiny hum of approval leave his mouth before he could process what he was doing. Then, his eyes shot open and he nearly fell backwards scrambling away from Pure Vanilla's trance-inducing touch.

"You! You're playing tricks on me! Keep your disgusting magic away from me!"

He had backed himself against the wall. All of the pupils in all of his eyes slitted like like a cat. His heart was thumping wildly in his chest. What spell had that fool cast on him?

His hands clasped around his Soul Jam until they hurt. The hair lashed behind him, curling it's way over his head like it was a snake poised to strike.

"Don't touch me!"

And then he was gone. Sinking back into the comforting embrace of his other realm.

–––

Shadow Milk spent the next few days in isolation. He flitted between the other realm and his temporary room in the castle, only occasionally stepping out to listen to Candy Apple and Black Sapphire's reports. Every day there would inevitably come a knock at his door and a voice calling out to him to eat or trying to apologize. He ignored it.

He didn't care how painful the Soul Jam became. It had gone thousands of years alone in that tree. It would be fine without its other half. It would be fine.

It wasn't fine. It burned. It made Shadow Milk feel like he was choking on his own howls of pain. No matter how much he clawed it, it's tugging was constant, trying to drag him along with its whims. Why was it acting up? It had never done this before Pure Vanilla awakened. That.. that witch-lover! He hated him!

Until those tanned fingers snuck their way under his door, and he was crawling to them like a pathetic dog. He sat with his back leaning against the door as he let his fingers fall over Pure Vanilla's. The pain eased up just enough for him to breath, even if he was still panting.

"Please come out. You sound like you're in pain."

"I am in pain! And it's your fault! You gnat!" He barked out without regard for how sore his throat was. "You cursed me! Or poisoned me! You did something!"

His claws dug into the back of Pure Vanilla's hand drawing up tiny pinpricks of blood.

"I promise I haven't done anything. I only want to help, but I can't do that if you won't let me in." His voice was a soothing balm to Shadow Milk's shot nervous system. It was gentle in all it's firmness. There was an undercurrent of worry, but mostly he was grounded. He knew where he was an what he wanted. How annoying.

The lock on the door slowly clicked, allowing Pure Vanilla to creak open the door just enough to slide inside, closing it quickly behind him again. Shadow Milk was laying on his back on the floor, limbs spread out as sweat seemed to seep through the tight fabric of his clothing. Pure Vanilla lowered himself to lay next to him, clasping Shadow Milk's hand in his own.

"I hate you."

"That's okay."

"Candy Apple and Black Sapphire are still okay? Nobody has touched them? They've only said good things, but they're very good liars"

Shadow Milk felt his hand being squeezed gently

"They're doing just fine. The girls are quite enraptured by Candy Apple's.. excitability. She's been playing dress up with them I believe. Black Sapphire is certainly a busy body, but he's made some friends too. There's a certain cookie on the night shift he likes to trade gossip with. They miss you. You should come to dinner."

Shadow Milk closed his eyes. The pain in the Soul Jam had numbed to a dull ache. Suddenly it was hard to stay awake with how hard his body had been working to power through. He nodded at Pure Vanilla's suggestion, but he didn't open his eyes.

"What time is it right now"

"There's enough time for a nap. You look like you need one"

With a little help, Shadow Milk had dragged himself up from the floor and onto the bed hurrying himself in the covers. Pure Vanilla pulled the chair over from the small desk on the wall so that he could sit next to the bed.

"Do you want me to stay with you?"

"No."

He mumbled even as he reached his hand out from under the blankets to hold Pure Vanilla's again. Maybe he was just getting used to it by now, but the bed didn't feel quite as uncomfortable anymore.

–––

After a week without food, that dinner might have been the best thing he had even eaten. Every bite nearly brought tears of joy to his eyes. In fact, they did bring tears to the eyes in his hair. Every time someone brought him more, he would clasp his hands around theirs and thank them with a bravado only Shadow Milk Cookie could hope to muster. He had finished three plates stacked with jellies and pasta before he started slowing down.

"Oh food, how I missed you! I'll never betray you again!"

He lamented over the clean plate, his belly full and the sweet taste still lingering on his tongue. Now that he was satisfied, the world seemed brighter. Candy Apple's laughs made his chest swell with pride and Black Sapphire retorts made him beam.

"Are you feeling better now" Pure Vanilla laughed, covering his smile with his hand.

"I don't think I've ever felt better~" He purred in reply, draping himself over Pure Vanilla's shoulder to soak up the warmth that kept his Soul Jam's anger at bay.

–––

They next days passed in relative peace. They had fallen into somewhat of a routine. Everyone gathered together for breakfast and dinner. Pure Vanilla spent most of the day bent over his desk and Shadow Milk spent most of the day pestering him.

Today Shadow Milk fingered through the pages of a history book. Apparently, it was very surprising to Pure Vanilla that he could read braille as if he hadn't been alive when it was invented.

The sun was warm as he stretched himself out on the couch in the office. He had closed his eyes as he read, barely even paying attention to the letters under his fingers.

"Blueberry... Blueberry Yogurt Academy..? Hey, blondie, your book has a typo!"

"Really? Let me feel."

Shadow Milk gladly slid the book through the air, his magic stopping it just before it hit Pure Vanilla in the face. He lazily flipped the page to the one he had been reading.

"Right there! Blueberry Yogurt Academy? Really? How does a mistake like that even happen!"

Pure Vanilla looked at him perplexed.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand. There's nothing wrong with it as far as I can tell"

"Uh, hello? Yogurt? Obviously they meant the Blueberry MILK Academy. Only the oldest standing magic school on the whole of Earthbread!"

"It was called the Blueberry Yogurt Academy when I attended"

Shadow Milk's head shot up from where he lazed on the couch. If Pure Vanilla could see, he'd be able to watch the cogs turning in Shadow Milk's head.

"They.. they renamed MY academy?! My life's work?! It's the only thing still standing from my kingdom and they just.. erased my name from the record?!"

"Your academy? Do you mean to say..?"

Pure Vanilla's eyes sparkled at this new information. If he was trying to hide the smile spreading across his cheeks, he wasn't doing a very good job.

"Obviously! Do you seriously think the Cookie of Knowledge didn't have a hand in constructing the single best magic academy in Crispia? All of my best research was conducted there!"

"Why blueberries?"

Pure Vanilla's wide-eyed curiosity almost reminded Shadow Milk of his students before attendance dropped. The memory was sweet. The question not so much.

"It's just an old nickname." He brushed it off cooly, taking the book back and continuing to read about the achievements of his academy since he'd been gone.

"Who gave it to you?"

"Stop asking questions."

"If you tell me, you can play with my wings"

He shut the book and eyed Pure Vanilla suspiciously. He weighed the pros and cons in his head, but it didn't matter once Pure Vanilla shook his head, fluffing up the feathers to be.. irresistible. He was caving before he could even fly himself over to sink his hands in.

"My old friends. But Sugar was the one who came up with it. She came up with nicknames for everyone"

His voice was filled to the brim with fondness, but his eyes were misty and downturned.

"I wonder how she's doing these days.."

"It sounds like she means a lot to you. She sounds very kind. As long as she continues to care for you as well, I'm sure she's very happy."

Shadow Milk laughed at a joke that Pure Vanilla wasn't even aware he had made. What was Shadow Milk even worried about? Of course the Bringer of Happiness was happy.

"Why are we here?!" Shadow Milk's grating voice was put of place in a market full of happy faces.

"I wanted to apologize for keeping you cooped up in the castle for so long. I might have misjudged your intentions"

Shadow Milk, Candy Apple, and Black Sapphire had all dawned disguises for the sake of humoring Pure Vanilla. Shadow Milk's hair was done half up in braids, his normal attire traded for a flowing blue dress that cinched at his waist. In his hand, he held onto a tiny cookie with green apples bobbing along on her head. Black Sapphire, or rather, Grapevine Cookie held her other hand looking overall uninterested.

"Shadow- ah, I mean, Blue Raspberry Cookie, what do you think of these flowers? They're a gift for a friend, so I want to make sure they're perfect."

"Are you telling me you don't know what kind of flowers your friends like?"

"No, I'm afraid it.. hasn't come up"

"Well, I can tell you how.. dastardly lilies are!"

Shadow Milk pointed his nose up in the air in disdain at the thought of them. He couldn't even stand the smell of them.

"Hm, yes, I don't suppose he would like them either.. How about you Green Apple?" Pure Vanilla kneeled down to her level and gestured to the various bushels on the display shelves. Candy Apple broke away from the hands holding her to wander around.

"Oh oh! These blue ones look just like Lady Blue Raspberry Cookie! And these milk crowns grow everywhere around the Spire!"

"There are more roses than milk crowns really!" Sapphire butted in pointing out an entire shelf of roses in different colors.

Pure Vanilla looked at his blue companion expectantly, urging him to step deeper inside the shop. He examined each of the display bouquets carefully. He scowled at any wilting leaves and completely refused to walk past any particularly fragrant flowers.

"Well.. everything here pales in comparison to the beauty of yours truly, but I suppose if I had to pick, the daffodils aren't.. terrible."

Pure Vanilla nodded with a smile.

"Thankyou for your input everyone. It's very valuable to me. Why don't you three pick somewhere to go for lunch while I pay here?"

–––

"Over there! I want pie! Please, please, please, Blue Raspberry Cookie?" Candy Apple pulled at Shadow Milk's skirt and looked up at him with those wide puppy-dog eyes.

"Are you an idiot?" Black Sapphire snatched her up and held her out at arms length. "Pure Vanilla is paying. That means, we could he feasting on anything we could imagine and you want pie? That's not even a lunch food"

Shadow Milk's lips tightened into a thin line of disapproval as he sat on a nearby bench to rest his feet. He wasn't used to actually walking, especially in heels. This must have just been another tactic to wear him down. Well two can play at that game. After all, he was only here to reclaim his Soul Jam. He just needed to find a way to be invited into Pure Vanilla's room sooner rather than later. Maybe he only needed to turn up the charm. Truthless Recluse certainly found him.. irresistible. The jester only needed to remind him just how much pleasure he could bring.

"Grapevine is right. There's a very elegant venue not too far from here. Besides, the desserts there will be much better than any pie a simple diner could serve"

Blue Raspberry was a high class cookie after all. It was worth it even if Candy's pout tugged at his heart strings. Some sacrifices just had to be made. Besides, at least Black Sapphire would be happy, and he wasn't in the business of playing favorites. It was about time he did something nice for his second in command.

As he spotted Pure Vanilla making his way towards them through the crowd, Shadow Milk pulled down at the neckline of his dress until just a hint of cleavage was visible. Shadow Milk's body might have been broken and scarred, but Blue Raspberry's was perfect if Pure Vanilla's staring was anything to go by.

"Excuse me, eyes up here mister" He hooked one finger under Pure Vanilla's chin, forcing him to make eye contact.

"I- of course, I would never- ahem. Have you all decided where you want to go?" That was exactly the color Shadow Milk wanted to see. That dust of blush might just be his favorite sight in the world.

"I know a place~" He hooked his arm in Pure Vanilla's, waving for the two younger cookies to follow.

–––

"Ah, this place is quite.. extravagant. But I do suppose I offered to take you all out, so it's no trouble! Don't be afraid to eat to your heart's content. It's on me."

Pure Vanilla's smile was almost sickeningly sweet as they were led to a booth in a quite corner of the restaurant next to a window that overlooked the edge of the floating kingdom. The view was magnificent. The sky was a bright blue and the clouds slowly drifted along looking especially regal.

It might have been more traditional to sit across from one's date, but Shadow Milk very intentionally scooted in beside Pure Vanilla letting Candy Apple and Black Sapphire sit on the other side of the table. He scooched in close, backing Pure Vanilla against the window and letting his hands rest idly on the saint's arm. Pure Vanilla's feathers fluttered but he didn't complain.

"What a beautiful family! I didn't know Pure Vanilla Cookie was seeing anyone" The waiter commented as he gently placed menus in front of each of them.

"Ah, no-" Pure Vanilla began before he was cut off.

"Why thankyou! The kids are mine of course, but my beloved has been very accommodating!" Trying to sell the lie, Shadow Milk pressed his chest into Pure Vanilla's arm, making sure he could feel the give of his bosom.

Pure Vanilla waited until the waiter had flited away before he spoke again.

"Shadow Milk, I'm not sure how comfortable I am with.." Pure Vanilla pulled his arm away and kept his voice low. The mask that Shadow Milk dawned slipped just for a second before his smirk returned.

"Aw come on Nilly~ we used to have so much.. fun" His breath was hot on Pure Vanilla's neck as he leaned in to whisper. His hand wandered southward teasing dangerously close to Pure Vanilla's groin.

"Dad!" Black Sapphire's face had turned beet red and he had his hand clasped over Candy Apple Cookie's ears. The silence that fell over the group was suffocating.

Shadow Milk disentangled himself from Pure Vanilla and was blinking blankly. Black Sapphire was equally as embarrassing by the flirty pair across from him as he was by what he had just called out. It was the only word that Candy Apple had heard because of how loud it was and her mouth hung agape before she slapped her hands over Black Sapphire's mouth.

"Y-you can't call him that! You have to respect Master Shadow Milk Cookie at all times!"

It turn, Shadow Milk reached across the table to cover Candy Apple's mouth, but the damage was already done. Every cookie in the vicinity was staring at them, whispering. He could catch everything, but someone had pointed out the sharp teeth in Shadow Milk's mouth. He hard another whisper from the other side talking about the eyes that had apparently opened in his hair. The more he heard, the harder it was to keep his disguise together. The only thing that broke him down faster than the whispers were the watery eyes directly across from him. In an instant, Blue Raspberry Cookie had melted away and Shadow Milk had scooped Candy Apple into his arms, hovering with her high above the patrons' heads. Black Sapphire was quick to shed his own disguise and join them apologizing rapidly to both Shadow Milk and Candy. There was no response before a portal opened up above their heads leaving Pure Vanilla to fend for himself as everyone bombarded him with questions.

–––

Shadow Milk had portaled them into his own room in the castle. He set Candy Apple down gently on the edge of the bed and had Black Sapphire join her. Shadow Milk kneeled in front of them and abruptly pulled them into a tight group hug that had Sapphire and Candy staring at each other in bewilderment. Candy Apple was the first to return the gesture followed by Black Sapphire awkwardly patting Shadow Milk on the back.

"I'm sorry" He rasped out in between ragged breaths as he tried desperately to recuperate. He groaned as he slowly leaned back, keeping one hand on each kid's shoulder.

"Master Shadow Milk Cookie-"

"You don't have to call me that" Shadow Milk sighed as he stood back up shaking his head. He ruffled the hair on Black Sapphire's head ever so slightly before he caught sight of the new vase standing on the desk. Daffodils. Of course they were for him. Pure Vanilla must have had them delivered before he met up with them in the square. He smiled faintly and turned back to the siblings still wide-eyed in their disbelief.

"Go on then! If I know anything about that idiot it's that he got flowers for you too. It'd be a shame if they wilted before you got to enjoy them"

The bat cookies were all too eager to scamper off and compare their gifts, leaving Shadow Milk alone with the bouquet. There was a small note nestled in between the sunny yellow petals. The letters were shaky and rough, clearly Pure Vanilla's handwriting. He hadn't even used his staff to see what he was writing. How typically sappy of him. It was hard to make out, but Shadow Milk was eventually able to make out the words; 'You look stunning no matter what ♡'

What? Shadow Milk turned the paper over in his hands, searching for some kind of second meaning. Of course he knew that he was attractive. There was no reason for Pure Vanilla to comment on it. And that.. heart. What was Pure Vanilla getting at? And why did Shadow Milk feel so.. warm? He felt at his usually frigid skin and found that it was bordering on being outright hot. He needed Pure Vanilla to get back to the castle this instant. There was no more time for questions.

It didn't take long of opening tiny portals around where they had walked before he found Pure Vanilla surrounded by concerned cookies and was pulling him through a portal that landed him cradled in Shadow Milk's arms for a moment before being abruptly dropped on the ground.

"What is the meaning of this?" Shadow Milk waved the paper in front of Pure Vanilla's staff so he could see it.

"Shadow Milk! I was trying to-!"

"I don't care! You can go back tomorrow and explain, but I can't wait! You make me sick!"

Shadow Milk pulled at his collar trying to cool himself down as Pure Vanilla situated himself to sit on the bed and properly examine what Shadow Milk was trying to show him.

"Ah, I see. I only wanted to pay you a compliment. I thought it might make you feel appreciated. You've been keeping me company while I work recently, and I wanted to say thankyou."

"And the heart?"

Pure Vanilla's only response was to smile warmly like Shadow Milk was supposed to know what that meant. Apparently, his Soul Jam did. It glowed softly on his ruff, gleaming happily. Shadow Milk could only assume it was responding to whatever illness Pure Vanilla had brought upon him. He covered it up with his hands, floating out of reach before Pure Vanilla could finish casting any of his nasty light magic spells.

"You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?" He hissed. "It's your fault I'm so.. so! Uhg!" He crossed his arms and pouted as he floated himself back down to lay on the bed finding that he was at a loss for words. "I hate you." He grumbled.

"The only thing I'm doing is being nice. Are you saying you're not feeling well? If you need, I could try to ease any discomfort.."

Pure Vanilla moved his wrist to rest against Shadow Milk's forehead.

"Hmm. Well, you are very warm, but I don't think that you're sick"

"Don't lie to me! There's obviously something wrong! Even if my body is fine, the Soul Jam is.. freaking out! I don't know!"

He gestured wildly as the blue gem continued to give off a soft light.

"Is there a possibility that you're just.. embarrassed?" Pure Vanilla rested his hand on Shadow Milk's chest, feeling the thumping of his heart. "Has nobody ever called you beautiful before?"

Shadow Milk felt even worse than before.

"Of course they have! I'm perfection! The most magnificent cookie to have ever lived! My followers used to sing my praises for hours! There were entire festivals dedicated to me!"

"Did you believe them?"

Did he believe them? What kind of stupid question was that? Of course he believed them. He used to believe them.

"I don't look the same" he mumbled letting his hands move to toy with Pure Vanilla's fingers over his chest.

"Neither do I"

"You're.. different. You're.. perfect"

Pure Vanilla leaned down until his forehead rested against Shadow Milk's. Shadow Milk could feel the fluttering of Pure Vanilla's eyelashes against his cheeks. Breathing in the warm scent did more than he cared to admit to level his emotions.

"I'll say it until you do believe it. You're beautiful. You're handsome. You're stunning. You're gorgeous."

"Shut up!"

"You're perfect just the way you are."

The Soul Jam still hadn't stopped glowing. It wasn't uncomfortable or distracting, really, but it was.. embarrassing! How was he supposed to leave his room looking like that? Black Sapphire would gossip about his endlessly. He would never hear the end of Pure Vanilla's disgusting lovey-dovey preaching or his teasing, but the fact was that they never actually did eat lunch and the sun was starting to set. Shadow Milk hadn't stopped pacing trying to figure out a way to enjoy his dinner without needing to see anyone else and without Pure Vanilla knocking at his door and asking him to talk about what was wrong and how he was feeling. There had been enough feelings for one day after the disaster that happened in town. Pure Vanilla was probably out there right now comforting any cookies that Shadow Milk had unintentionally terrorized. Really it wasn't his fault they were so discriminatory. Just because he looked a little odd everyone was scared of him? He hadn't even actually done anything. And he couldn't stand the thought of what they might have been saying about his kids. If anyone had the nerve to insult even a single hair on their heads he would rip them to shreds!

He could always take off the Soul Jam he figured. Of course, it was slightly more risky. The Jam had a certain range of effect and if he were to walk outside of it.. he didn't even want to consider the possibilities. Blue Raspberry Cookie simply stored it in her basket. Perhaps Shadow Milk could do the same? Would anyone else notice if he were suddenly carrying around a purse? It wasn't out of the ordinary for him to be doing something strange. Maybe Blue Raspberry could just go to dinner instead but that might raise even more questions.

Shadow Milk stared at himself in the mirror for a long time, poking and prodding at the Soul Jam to see if it might calm down. He had to bite his lip to keep any uncouth noises from escaping, painful or otherwise. After all, touching one's actual soul was intense in all directions. He almost wondered if the other half could feel it too. They had briefly conjoined back in the Spire and ever since them, the two halves had seemed to share a strange connection. It was annoying to know at least in some capacity how Pure Vanilla was feeling and it was more annoying to know that Pure Vanilla could feel Shadow Milk's emotions in turn.

There really wasn't anything he could do, was there? He was out of time. Any second now, there would be a knock on his door telling him to eat with his family (and Pure Vanilla).

"Master Shadow-! Or uhm.. Master.. Dad..?"

At least his sweet little Candy Apple would be his executioner. The eyes in his hair looked down cast, tiny tears welling in the corners. The squeaking of the door hinge was the nail in the coffin.

"Don't look at me! I'm.. emotional!" His let his voice fall out in a dramatic sob as he pretended to faint in mid-air.

"When isn't he?" Black Sapphire whispered to his sister clearly not trying to hide his blatant insubordination. Candy's chuckling just might be the death of him. It was going to be a long night.

"It's not that bad! I think it's pretty!" Wasn't she just a peach?

"At least somebody in this family still knows what the word respect means" Shadow Milk could only roll his eyes and float along with his arms crossed over his chest as he shot a pointed look at Black Sapphire.

Pure Vanilla was already waiting for them at their usual empty ballroom, but the doors behind him were closed.

"Uhm, hello? The tables are inside?" Shadow Milk scolded.

"Haha! I know, but there's going to be a full moon tonight, so I thought we might eat in the garden. There's a table away from the lilies, don't worry" Pure Vanilla assured, reaching up to hold Shadow Milk's hand. "I've been looking forward to watching my queen of the night's bloom. They only do so once a year"

Shadow Milk didn't even really realize when he had taken Pure Vanilla's hand, but it more or less made him forget all about the glowing of his Soul Jam. He knew everything about all of the flowers that might be in Pure Vanilla's garden, but for some reason he was content to listen to the tidbits the healer spouted as they made their way down to the courtyard. Black Sapphire and Candy Apple were content to make fun of him the whole way there.

–––

The garden truly was enchanting at night as long as you ignored the greenhouse filled to the brim with those detestable lilies. The queen of the night plant was indeed in full bloom, each blossom reaching its petals out to its companions. The glow of the moon made the petals appear nearly ethereal. Shadow Milk lost count of how many sleeping orchids they passed. Primroses floated in waffelcone planters next to each marbel bench. It made him a little homesick. He wished there were milkcrowns. It really had been nice to see them back at the shop. They had an upsetting connotation because of an old legend that said they bloomed where tears were shed. Before the beasts fell they grew all over the cemeteries of his old kingdom, but they also grew outside hospitals. He wondered how many of those nourishing tears might actually have been the joyful tears of new parents or discharged patients. In fact, he remembered giving bouquets of milkcrowns to Candy Apple and Black Sapphire when he first took them in because of how happy it made him to raise children of his own.

Pure Vanilla eventually led them to a table with a candle burning brightly in the middle. Plates of food were already situated at each spot and by the looks of it, Shadow Milk's plate was next to Pure Vanilla's. It was quite strange to see the two meals next to each other. Pure Vanilla was strictly vegetarian, but he had always acknowledged Shadow Milk's preference for meat. It wasn't as if he was particularly picky, but sharp teeth like his own were ill-suited for chewing fruits and vegetables and his digestive tract was overall carnivorous. Simply put, his body is unable to process many of the nutrients found in plants. Not that he had explained any of that to Pure Vanilla. Part of him hoped the sheppard didn't think he was just trying to make him uncomfortable. Because he was trying to build trust. That was the only reason.

Pure Vanilla slid in next to Shadow Milk. This time the jester was the one being cornered against the wall though Pure Vanilla provided much more space for the other than Shadow Milk had. This was a second chance. Maybe he had come on too strong earlier, but if he could find a way to get the kids to go inside once they finished, Shadow Milk could have his prey all to himself.

"I told you it would be a beautiful night." Pure Vanilla twisted his staff slowly to take in the view of the flowers under the moonlight before letting it rest next to his seat where it could see his companions instead. There wasn't a bone in Shadow Milk's body that disagreed with the sentiment but he didn't say anything as he wolfed down his meal. He was careful to suck any extra pieces of meat from the grooves in his teeth. This performance needed to be perfect if he was going to get into Pure Vanilla's bed tonight and he couldn't have the taste of steak breaking the illusion.

As dinner went on, Shadow Milk began using the slightest touch of magic to create a chill that conveniently could only be felt by Candy Apple and Black Sapphire. Candy was the first to start shivering, but Sapphire was the first one to actually get up from his seat.

"Witches above, I cannot believe you two aren't cold. I'll make sure Candy goes to bed at a decent time as long as I get to go inside. You can enjoy your date" Candy's heavy eyelids left no room for objection on her part as they alternated between walking and fluttering back inside.

"It's not a date!" Shadow Milk bristled for a moment before clearing his throat and sitting back down and eyeing Pure Vanilla. "It's more like a.. moonlit rendezvous"

"Yes I suppose it is, isn't it? I didn't want to say anything while the others were here, but your Soul Jam has been glowing this whole time. It's very pretty. I'm glad to see that you're happy even if you won't say it out loud."

"I was hoping you wouldn't say anything about it at all" Shadow Milk grumbled, his face turning a slightly darker shade of blue. "In my defense, you're the one who ran off after that kiss."

"Oh my.. I was hoping you wouldn't say anything about that either. In truth, I may have been a little embarrassed myself."

"Oh really? You never seemed all that embarrassed when we played our little games in the Spire" Shadow Milk purred, leaning in closer. He had him exactly where he wanted him.

"Those were very different circumstances, Shadow Milk.."

"Hey, don't be like that! Everything was completely consensual! And you were always very consenting as I recall"

"Would you really have stopped if I asked you to?"

Shadow Milk was completely dumbfounded by the question. Just what the hell kind of thoughts was Pure Vanilla having back then? Sure he might have gotten a little suicidal near the end there, but was he really just sitting there letting himself be used like that?

"Of course I would have! I might be evil, but I'm not a monster! Well.. metaphorically at least. Technically speaking.." Shadow Milk had to shake his head to keep himself from straying from the topic at hand. "That's not the point! I even gave you a safeword! I was rough but I didn't.. I never hurt you, did I?"

It was the kind of thing Shadow Milk never expected would come out of his mouth, but here he was starting to panic about an issue he didn't even realize he had caused. He didn't even know how much of his worry was an act. None of it might have been the correct answer, but it wasn't the answer he liked.

"Perhaps I was only hurting myself" Pure Vanilla turned his head away towards the flowers again. That wasn't an answer Shadow Milk liked either. It wasn't really an answer at all. That's what cookies said when they knew saying yes would hurt the other person's feelings. He couldn't stop himself from digging his claws into the palms of his hands.

It didn't take long for Pure Vanilla to notice what Shadow Milk was doing and seize his hands so that they lay flat on Pure Vanilla's.

"Shadow, please. There are.. a great many mistakes that you have made, but this was not one of them. You're right. You really did give me every opportunity to back out and I'm sorry I didn't recognize it sooner. Hurting yourself does not take away the pain that others have endured nor does it take away your own troubles." Pure Vanilla's eyes were wide open. He only did that when he was really serious about something. Really being honest.

Shadow Milk was the first one to lean forward and pull Pure Vanilla into an embrace. It wasn't nearly as tight as it probably should have been. Shadow Milk wasn't particularly great at affection or comfort after all, but he would try his best for now.

"I should've known."

"I wasn't all bad." The way Pure Vanilla returned the hug was much better than Shadow Milk's sorry attempt at staring it. "We can always try again until we get it right"

Shadow Milk snorted out a laugh.

"Are you seriously saying what I think you're saying right now? You're pretty stupid, huh?"

Pure Vanilla laughed in reply.

"What can I say? I'm quite into family men."

"Alright, you ruined it." Shadow Milk retorted.

He wasn't sure how long they stayed wrapped up like that, but he figured his plan could wait at least.. one more night.

–––

"We should probably get to bed" Pure Vanilla said as they began to walk back through the garden to their rooms. They had reached the crossroads where they would typically part ways and Shadow Milk had already begun to turn down the hall to his own bed when Pure Vanilla called out.

"Wait! Would you.. like to join me tonight?"

That was a strange way of getting what he wanted, but who was he turn down the perfect opportunity.

"Oh? Are you really that impatient? You're a real freak you know~"

"No, not like that." Pure Vanilla was firm in his refusal. Good. Maybe he had finally learned his lesson. "I only wanted to see if you might want to.. cuddle for lack of a better term. I thought that prolonged proximity might help your Soul Jam adjust so it would stop glowing"

"Huh. Actually that's not a bad idea. Alright, lead the way! Your bed is way better than mine anyways."

Shadow Milk didn't realize how much he missed the feeling of silk sheets until he was rubbing his cheeks against the luxurious fabric.

"Shadow Milk, please take off your shoes before you get into bed.."

"Nilla, my shoes don't even touch the ground half the time."

Pure Vanilla shot him a disapproving look that had him floating back up into the air. With a snap of his fingers he had traded out his jester outfit for something more appropriate for bed, even if that was just a long T-shirt and briefs.

"Better?"

"Much" Pure Vanilla stupid happy smile had Shadow Milk burying his face back into the pillows so he didn't have to look at it.

Shadow Milk kept his eyes closed as Pure Vanilla changed into his own night clothes.

"You really do look like an old man when you wear stuff like that you know."

Of course he would sleep in a night gown. Shadow Milk figured he might even have a matching hat. At least he had the luxury of taking off the heavy Soul Jam and placing it on his night stand. Shadow Milk's was still firmly pinned to the fabric of his shirt.

"Don't you want to take yours off too?"

Pure Vanilla had left his staff at the door, but Shadow Milk knew he'd be able to see the light emitted by the glowing gem. He shifted slightly to give Pure Vanilla room to lay down next to him. It felt weird. They both just laid there staring up at the ceiling with their hand folded over their stomachs.

"Can't"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I can but remember when Sapphire had to uh.. wake me up that one time? Yeah. I don't particularly like accidentally dying in the middle of the night. If it gets too far from my body I go limp! Totally slack-jawed! It's not pretty. I can throw it into my other realm and be kind of okay, but even that's risky."

"I didn't know that" Pure Vanilla had turned onto his side to look at Shadow Milk. Not the he could actually see anything. Without light even the tiny pinprick of vision he did have was useless.

Shadow Milk only flipped away from him with a grunt. He didn't talk again until Pure Vanilla had wrapped an arm around his waist and started trailing his fingers down the long scars that marred his arms.

"Don't touch those. They're ugly."

"Do you think mine are ugly?"

"I think everything about you is ugly"

"Oh really? Is that why you were staring at me so hard during dinner? Or at the restaurant for that matter."

Shadow Milk's eyes snapped open as his flipped himself back around to face the other man.

"I was not!"

"Do you think my staff is broken then?"

"It must be. That or your brain" Shadow Milk flicked the tiny star on Pure Vanilla's forhead. He had always wanted to do that. Then, he wrapped his arms back around Pure Vanilla's torso so he could no longer reach them. "Just stop being annoying. I'm tired."

"Of course, dear"

"Since when do you call me that?"

"Since right now. Do you not like it?"

Shadow Milk sighed and pressed his cold nose into Pure Vanilla's chest.

"Do what you want." Shadow Milk was ready close his eyes. Having Pure Vanilla thread his fingers through his hair was only lulling him to sleep even faster.

"Shadow Milk?"

"Hm?" He grunted, already half asleep.

"You're beautiful."

".. okay?"

"I told you I would say it until you believe it."

"You can't even see my right now"

Pure Vanilla only responded with a chaste kiss pressed into the crown of Shadow Milk's.

"Go to sleep."

Shadow Milk stood on the precipice of disaster. The silver forks that fell from heaven shook the entire world under his feet. All of his friends had long since been imprisoned by their own creators and now it was his turn. The shackles aimed for each and every one of his limbs. Try as he might, history could never be changed. The first shackle to latch onto him encircled his neck, choking him and forcing him backwards into his eternal prison. No matter how much he tried to claw at the silver ring, his wrists wouldn't reach. It was all he could do to sputter and cry out, to pray to a pantheon of gods who had betrayed him. Whose own folly had birthed cookies who were destined to be corrupted by the nature of their own existence.

The scene shifted before him, warping until he was surrounded by the familiar walls of his Spire. Whether it was the Spire of Knowledge or Deceit he could never be sure. In front of him, the Truthless Recluse teetered on the edge of a long fall that was undoubtedly crumble him should he take that plunge. The smile on his face was haunting. No matter how fast Shadow Milk could fly, he would always be just out of reach of his other half. The three mangled bodies that lay lifeless on the ground made him sick.

"No! No! You can't! You can't leave me!"

Shadow Milk gagged himself awake, clawing at Pure Vanilla's chest as the earliest light of morning cracked through the window behind him. Pure Vanilla himself was jostled awake by Shadow Milk's flailing. The jester wasn't completely awake until he had spit up a puddle of stomach acid onto his own lap. Even then it was hard to keep his breath under control. He didn't even remember when he had fallen asleep. He was sure he hadn't meant to. He should've snuck out once Pure Vanilla closed his eyes. He could have had the Soul Jam in his grasp and would've been on his way home, finally victorious. Instead he was being cradled in the arms of the same fool he had planned to double-cross.

"Shhh shh I'm right here. I'm with you. You're not alone"

He clung to Pure Vanilla like his life depended on it. He was all he could focus on.

"I was.. you were.. the kids!"

He couldn't speak coherently and his head flung wildly to take in the room around him like he was searching for the two young cookies who he knew were on the complete opposite of the castle.

"Don't worry, they're sleeping soundly in their own rooms. I promise. Everyone is safe. You're safe."

"Yeah.. yeah I.. yeah."

They stayed like that for a few moments until Shadow Milk stopped shaking. A cold sweat made his hair stick to his face in various places and it had soaked through the front of his shirt leaving him shivering from where the cold, wet fabric clung to him. No matter how disgusting he looked, Pure Vanilla didn't let go.

"Why don't we get you cleaned up? The water might help calm you down."

"You should clean your sheets first" Shadow Milk's voice was hoarse and using it scratched his throat.

"Let me take care of it. You're much more important to me than my bedding."

"I shouldn't be."

Shadow Milk leaned heavily on Pure Vanilla's larger form as he was guided slowly to the attached bathroom. A large clawfooted tub gleamed on one end of the room reflected on the marble floor. Everything felt overall too bright and shiny. At least the deafening sound of the running water kept Pure Vanilla from trying to speak as he helped Shadow Milk shed his sweat-soaked clothes, placing the Soul Jam carefully on the counter. He avoided making eyes contact with the mirror at all costs. It was bad enough that Pure Vanilla knew what he looked like naked. The majority of skin on the left half of his chest was scaly and rough from an old fight with Burning Spice. His neck, wrists, and ankles all had friction scars from his time in the tree. He hated his arms the most. Large animalistic claw marks caused discoloration and raised keloids. Even if he used his illusions, he would still be able to feel every blemish.

It wasn't as if he need Pure Vanilla to take off his clothes. They would disappear once Shadow Milk waved them away. But he did it anyways. And he hugged Shadow Milk from behind as they waited silently for the tub to fill up. He knew he should be denying this touch. He didn't need to be comforted especially by Pure Vanilla, but he was too tired to complain. Those tanned hands clasped together at his waist kept him grounded as his head leaned back onto Pure Vanilla's shoulder.

"Alright, come on, let's get you in the bath"

"I don't wanna" He whined pressing his body back into the other's.

He didn't even know Pure Vanilla was capable of of picking him up, but he was being hoisted into his arms like he weighed nothing.

"Hey hey! You can't man handle me! This body is fragile!"

"It's only a bath, it's not going to kill you"

It just might. The water was too hot, he hated his hair being wet, there weren't enough bubbles to cover the surface of the water, he had a million complaints that Pure Vanilla took in stride each time. His hands only worked shampoo through the tresses of Shadow Milk's tangled hair.

"Do you want to tell me about your dream?"

"No." He drew his knees up to his chest and blew at the bubbles floating along with the ripples.

"You don't have to talk until you're ready, but I can try to ease any doubts your having"

"Doubts about what? I, the great and magnificent Shadow Milk Cookie, do what I want when I want!"

"Doubts about anything really. Our relationship, the future. I've already penned letters to the other ancients about your presence here"

"You did what?!" Shadow Milk twisted around, the hairs on the back of his neck stood at attention.

"I'm sorry, but I can't simply keep such a large secret from them. How do you think Candy Apple and Black Sapphire would feel if you didn't tell them you were coming here?"

"That's different! Your witch-loving so-called friends want me dead! That little.. half-cookie could!- Could.. she could.." Before he knew it, he had backed himself into the corned of the tub and was rubbing at his neck.

"I see.. Shadow Milk, I promise that nothing bad will happen to you as long as I have anything to say about it. And trust me, I have a lot to say about it" He laughed lightly as he cupped Shadow Milk's cheek. "I'm not sure when, but I know that they'll want to have a meeting to discuss this. I know it's easier said than done, but when the time comes, you'll need to trust me."

"Trust you?!" Shadow Milk grabbed hold of Pure Vanilla's wrist and growled in his face "You wrote to your namby-pamby half-cookies without even.. you didn't even have to guts to tell me! I should've taken that stupid little trinket from your night stand while I had the chance! Well guess what? I don't need you or your Soul Jam!" He thrust Pure Vanilla's hand away from him as he shook himself dry.

He stood in the middle of the room and with a clap of his hands had covered himself once again. He snatched his Soul Jam off the counter and situated it back on his ruff where it belonged.

"I'm going home."

As he turned his back to Pure Vanilla's his hand was caught and he was being forced to turn back around. The lips that clashed against his own were surprisingly assertive. He would've stumbled if Pure Vanilla hadn't caught him with a firm hand on his lower back. He felt like he was frozen I place, and he might have stayed that way if he hadn't felt the frantic beating of Pure Vanilla's heart. Both Soul Jams were exceedingly warm and he found himself melting into the kiss.

"Mh mh! Nilla!"

He found himself pleading in between gasps for air as he clutched at Pure Vanilla's robes.

"I'll stay I'll stay! Just... let.. me... breath!"

Eventually he was able to wrangle himself away from the embrace, floating out of reach to give himself time to inhale enough air to speak again.

"Oh my. It seems I might have gotten a bit.. carried away." Pure Vanilla's innocent smile was a complete turnaround from the boldness he showed just moments before.

"Uh yeah. A bit" Shadow Milk brushed down the front of himself and swatted away the hearts in his hair. "Quit being so dramatic. It was only a kiss"

"They were only being sweet" Pure Vanilla giggled, reaching up to Shadow Milk down to the ground. "How about some breakfast? The kids should probably be up by now"

–––

"Why should I have to write to them too? I haven't penned a letter in thousands of years! Besides, you already told them everything they actually need to know!"

"Please, bluebird? It would be a good opportunity for them to hear from the real you! It will be much easier for me to convince them that you mean no harm if you personally apologized"

"Apologize? Me? You're kidding. I've barely met most of those cookies. I spent all that time watching you not anyone else. You should all be thanking me! As the origin of magic, you and that.. uhg flowery one wouldn't even know how to cast spells if it weren't for me! You even studied in my academy. Oh! Isn't that fun? I bet White Lily Cookie would just die to become my personal protégé! Oh, she kind of already did, didn't she? Well, half-cookie or full, I don't like her!"

Shadow Milk spun idly in the air in Pure Vanilla's office holding an unused quill that he gestured wildly with each word.

"You're stalling and you're being mean."

"Fine fine! I am a reasonable cookie afterall! I will write four, mind you FOUR entire letters complete with apologies in exchange for a little bit of.. preening?"

He popped up behind Pure Vanilla and tried to grab at one of his wings before it was pulled away.

"I'm sure you'll enjoy it much more as a reward for when you finish." The smirk on Pure Vanilla's face was anything but angelic.

–––

"There! Done! Proofread all you want, I think you'll find that they're the best things you've ever read!"

Shadow Milk dropped the finished letters onto the bed where Pure Vanilla was already tucked in for the night. So what if it had taken him several hours to finish? It would've taken longer if he didn't have a special wing-petting appointment to look forward to.

"Thankyou, Shadow Milk." Pure Vanilla gathered the papers and stacked them neatly on his bedside table. "I'll make sure they get sent first thing tomorrow morning."

"Yeah yeah, whatever. Now roll over and give me those feathers bird boy! You're still shit at taking care of them"

Pure Vanilla huffed a little as he rolled onto his stomach allowing Shadow Milk to sit on the small of his back.

"Might I remind you that I can't exactly see them?"

"You might not be able to, but last time I checked, you have a massive, ridiculously heavy, might I add, seeing-eye staff. Inconvenient if you ask me. Cake hounds do the job just fine for most cookies, but if you want to be all high and mighty, be my guest!" Shadow Milk's hands were already working wonders on the healer's twitching plumage until he had his face buried in his pillow.

"I'm not high and mighty.." his voice came through muffled, but audible.

"Not right now you aren't"

Shadow Milk had to admit, he might be pushing his luck, but what could he say? He was the Fount of Knowledge. Curiosity was practically his middle name. He leaned in until he could feel the heat of his own breath reflected back at him. Ever so tenderly he nibbled at the base of the tiny appendage. The sound that came out of the trembling cookie beneath him was absolutely delectable.

"Oh? I really should have tested these things out sooner hm?"

Shadow Milk's teasing didn't stop there. He was going to break his precious little pet if it killed him. He rubbed his fingers into the miniscule muscles that made the wings stretch and retract and his mouth made it's way down to the nape of Pure Vanilla's neck. Without so much as a warning he was being flipped onto his back and those milky, mismatched eyes were already glazed over in desire.

"Careful! I already told you! This body is much weaker than the original!"

"That didn't seem to matter much in the Spire, did it? Or when you were egging me on. So be a good boy for me, will you?"

When did he get so.. hot? Shadow Milk's mind was practically already blank. He could feel the grinding of an impatient Pure Vanilla against his groin and he knew it wasn't gonna stop until he agreed. Still, he was enough of a brat to throw his head to the side and shut his mouth tightly.

"Oh don't be like that. Isn't this what you've been begging for this whole time? I bet you just need a little bit of special attention and you'll be fully trained won't you?"

He had almost forgotten what it felt like to have Pure Vanilla sucking on his neck like this. It's was as if he was trying to force a 'yes' straight from Shadow Milk's throat. He was fervent and unrelenting, grazing his teeth over all the spots Shadow Milk wanted to be bitten. He squirmed, desperate for friction that he wouldn't be allowed to have.

"Nilla! Nilly! Please! Just give me your dick witchesdamnit!"

"Alright, alright. Remind of the safeword again? It has been a long time afterall."

"Polkadot" Shadow Milk rolled his eyes. If Pure Vanilla was gonna be on top, there was barely a need for a safeword. Better safe than sorry he supposed. He did have a plethora of sharp edges that had a tendency to get out of control in situations like these.

He had expected Pure Vanilla to just take their clothes off and get it done with. During their time in the Spire sex was somewhat transactional. There was little need for foreplay since Shadow Milk would just seek Pure Vanilla out anytime he got horny. This time, it looked like Pure Vanilla was going to take his sweet time devouring what was rightfully his.

It was with slow precision that Pure Vanilla snaked his warm hands up Shadow Milk's torso under the band-tee that he was accustomed to sleeping in. His fingers trailed along each dip and curve that he could find, committing it to memory.

"Look at you. You're so perfect"

Oh. Is this the game they were playing? Shadow Milk wasn't a stranger to compliments, but this was different. The only other people who had seen him shirtless without his illusions had been the beasts. He could feel the muscles in his abdomen twitching in response to the praises Pure Vanilla gave freely with each kiss peppered along the expanse of blue skin. He even complimented places where the nerves had been too damaged to even feel the caresses anymore.

Shadow Milk had his hands held over his mouth firmly to keep the moans at bay. There was no way he was going to give Pure Vanilla the satisfaction of listening to his sex-drunk babbling. They hadn't even gotten to the main event yet and was already soaking himself through the breathable material of his briefs.

"This is unfair.. I'm leveling the playing field."

In reality, Shadow Milk was only getting impatient and he was ready to was pull that stupid nightgown off the blonde's head. He wanted to see what Pure Vanilla's shiny new body looked like in all it's glory. Before his awakening he had been relatively scrawny, but now? His waist was full and strong, his chest puffed out with a renewed sense of pride. He was attractive before with that perfect face of his, but this was almost more than he could handle.

"I hate you so much."

"Mhm.. I don't think your body agrees with you."

Pure Vanilla's hands had traveled lower where they now teased at Shadow Milk's waistband.

"Do you want me to keep going, bluebird?"

"Obviously!"

With a roll of his hips, Shadow Milk was forcing Pure Vanilla's hand lower until his fingers pressed gently at the warm entrance. He circled around the wet hole with reverence until he thought Shadow Milk was ready to take a single finger.

"Fuck.. it's been a couple months hasn't it?"

"Yes, but you're doing very well, dear. I wouldn't let you take anything I didn't think you could handle. But that does mean I want to prep you a little bit.. I can't be completely certain, but the awakening did change a lot about my physical form so.. I'm sure you understand what I'm hinting at."

"What, you don't think I can take your shiny new cock?"

"I didn't say that" Pure Vanilla pushed another finger in, this time letting his thumb rub tiny circles around Shadow Milk's clit that made him shudder. "I'll make it fit. You need to be rewarded for your efforts don't you?"

Pure Vanilla slowly began scissoring and stretching out the tight entrance as his other hand finished pulling down the briefs so Shadow Milk's folds were exposed to the chill of the outside world.

"Don't worry, sweetheart. Just a little longer and I'll be warming you up."

He pressed one palm firmly against Shadow Milk's stomach while he stroked at the sweet spot inside him that had those long eyelashes fluttering shut. Abruptly, he pulled his fingers out with a lewd squelch that had Shadow Milk whining for more.

Pure Vanilla finally had the decency to take off the last of his own garments so he could line himself up. He was right that it was grown ever so slightly girthier, though not obscenely so. Even still, it was absolutely blissful when Shadow Milk finally got his fill.

"Ah! S-stay still for a second. Witches, I'm out of practice"

Pure Vanilla leaned forward until his forehead pressed against the jester's and his hands rubbed soothingly along his sides.

"You feel amazing. You fit so perfectly around me don't you? Look at me when I fuck you"

Ironically, Pure Vanilla's choice of words was exactly what made it so hard for Shadow Milk to look him in the eye as he began to move, slow and steady. Even at a snail's pace, Shadow Milk felt overwhelmed. He could've sworn it didn't feel like this before. He couldn't imagine what it was going to feel like when Pure Vanilla figured out exactly what he could do with the Soul Jam.

The grunts and groans that tumbled out of Pure Vanilla's lips were music to Shadow Milk's ears even as he picked up the pace. His wings flapped contentedly in turn with every thrust and the blush on his cheeks matched that of Shadow Milk's in everything except hue.

"W-where should I..?"

"Inside! Ah! Fuck! Nilla! Inside!" He whined as he wrapped his legs around Pure Vanilla's waist and pulled him close until all he could do was grind until they were both twitching in their shared bliss.

Shadow Milk reveled in the momentary feeling of fullness as he gripped at Pure Vanilla's shoulders, forcing his head down into a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss that lasted long after they had ridden out their climaxes. Even so, Shadow Milk was still twitching in the afterglow and he wasn't eager to let Pure Vanilla pull out just yet.

"Stay still.." he groaned, pulling Pure Vanilla down to lay on top of him as he caught he breath.

"Are you alright, blue?"

"Mhmmm just let me bask"

Pure Vanilla's thumbs pressed small comforting circles into Shadow Milk's hips until they were both finally ready to untangle themselves.

"You really are beautiful. You took me so well" Pure Vanilla purred as he wiped up the remnants of his mess from where it had matted down the course hair on Shadow Milk's groin.

"You know it~ I'm simply irresistible"

"Of course you are" Pure Vanilla puffed out a sleepy laugh as he settled himself back into bed, pulling Shadow Milk against his chest.

The clack of heels on the linoleum was jarring considering how seldom Shadow Milk actually walked anywhere, but he couldn't calm his nerves as he thought about the group of cookies that would be arriving tomorrow. He had bitten his nails down until he no longer had any claws to speak of and the skin around his nails was red and scarred from tugging and picking at it relentlessly.

"I can't put you in the other realm. If anything happens to me while you're there, you'll end up wherever I go. I could take you back to the Spire but.. leaving you here is risky too, but if they don't know you're here.. maybe disguises..?"

There was a chalkboard in the middle of the meeting room that Pure Vanilla, Candy Apple, and Black Sapphire all stared at.

"Dear, I really don't think this is necessary. My friends may not trust you completely, but I'm sure they wouldn't go so far as to harm the children."

"But Black Sapphire isn't a child anymore! And.. Candy has been a child for.. a long time. Really, I should take them back to the Spire anyway. Now that they're outside they've been.. aging."

"I don't wanna go back! Not if you're not with us!" Candy Apple piped up.

"For once, I agree with her. If you were to crumble, the magic in the Spire will fizzle away and we'd be too far away for anyone here in Crispia to retrieve us. It'd be a different story if they sealed you in the Silver Tree again, but considering that you broke free once already..." Black Sapphire trailed off.

"Really, all of you, nothing is going to happen to separate or harm you"

Pure Vanilla's attempt at comfort drew the worried and distrustful looks of everyone else. Shadow Milk took a deep breath and stood up straight before speaking again.

"You're right. Nothing is going to harm them. I'll make sure of it."

With a wave of his arm the chalkboard had been cleared of all it's writing. He took the chalk in his hand again and drew up a plan.

"You're going to stick together at all time, alright? While there are guests, the most secure room in the castle should be Pure Vanilla's. I can leave a small rift open from there to the edge of the kingdom. Of course, I can open another portal to give you a signal if things start to get dicey. I want you to be ready to leave and rendezvous with Nilla as soon as possible in the village below. I'll check on you as often as I can sneak peeks without anyone noticing. Understand?"

The siblings' determination was absolute as they agreed in unison.

"Pure Vanilla. If I find out that any one of those half-cookies has so much as insulted my children," the skin on Shadow Milk's face had become more of a goopy black substance that made him look utterly uncanny in combination with how it slid around his exposed bones. "I won't hesitate to make sure the rest of their short little lives will be a living nightmare." With a blink his normal face and happy smile had returned, "Got it?"

Pure Vanilla didn't look nearly as uncomfortable as the form usually made cookies, but his lips had pressed together in a tight, thin line. There was a crease in brow, but if he was angry, he didn't express it .

"I.. can't condone that specifically, but I suppose if I believed my subjects might be in peril, I would be equally frantic. Especially ones so near and dear to me."

–––

Today was the day. During the early morning, Shadow Milk had run through the contingency plan with Sapphire and Candy a few more times. Dark Cacao was the first to arrive, but before he left with Vanilla to greet him, he made sure to hug the kids extra tight. Just in case. He had no way of even knowing if he would make it through the night to get to the proper council tommorow. Everyone might be arriving today, but Pure Vanilla in his eternal kindness figured they would all be too tired from the journey to immediately be discussing life and death. Shadow Milk was pleased to have one more day to prepare for his heartfelt speech on why it was simply easier to leave the Soul Jam of Truth with Pure Vanilla. He was sure Pure Vanilla wanted one more day to put a proper label on the complex relationship they had.

They hadn't exactly discussed specifics, and even if Pure Vanilla brought it up, Shadow Milk didn't know exactly how to describe what he felt. Love felt like too much commitment. The word itself felt heavy. Every time he said he loved something (always ironically or for dramatic effect, mind you), there was a tiny, nagging voice in the back of his mind reminding him that the true object of his affections would never truly be able to return them. Shadow Milk simply wasn't made to love things. He wasn't made to be loved. And now that he had turned into this, he was sure to destroy anything that dared to try and love him.

When they were alone, it was easy to simply refer to Vanilla as his 'other half'. It was straight and to the point. Terms like 'boyfriend' certainly felt too young for old men like them and was far too romantic for Shadow Milk's comfort. But he equally hated when Pure Vanilla simply called him 'friend'. He didn't want to be friends. Surely they were something other than friends. Everyone was Pure Vanilla's friend. Shadow Milk wanted to be special.

Even if he couldn't put a name on what Pure Vanilla was to him, he still stuck to him like glue, thanking all the forces of nature that the healer had promised not to let go of his hand. Dark Cacao was brooding and overall much too tall for Shadow Milk's liking. He had an entire procession of guards, half of whom were already setting up an ugly campsite on the front lawn. Nobody in the entire looked even slightly sweet. It made Shadow Milk's nose bunch up in distaste at the bitter expressions on everyone's faces. Even Dark Cacao who should be overjoyed to see his good friend looked contemplative at best and outright mad at worst.

"Pure Vanilla Cookie. I was under the impression that the Beast would be chained during our discussions. If it has broken away from its confinements, please allow me to remedy the situation"

As the sharp edge of Dark Cacao's sword pointed at Shadow Milk's neck, he aptly used his free hand to grab his hair and pull his head right off. Maybe a trick like that would lighten the mood. It did always seem to be a crowd pleaser.

"Woah pal! Careful where you swing that thing! You might hurt somebody"

He didn't reattach his head until the sword was lowered.

"Dark Cacao Cookie, it is a pleasure to see you again. I can assure you, Shadow Milk has never been trapped by chains or anything of the sort. He is a dear friend to me much like you are"

"Aww, Nilly, how sweet! Though I think I'm little bit more dear to you than others, right?"

Shadow Milk nudged Pure Vanilla with his shoulder teasingly and batted his eyelashes.

"No. I value all of my friends equally, though perhaps in different ways."

That was not the answer he wanted. A growl almost bubbled up from his throat before Dark Cacao interrupted.

"Does that thing ever unhand you?"

The growl was directed at Dark Cacao now. Thing? Really? He hadn't been called that for a very very long time, and he had wanted to keep it that way. He refused to let those tainted memories affect him ever again.

"He said it would make him feel more safe, so I promised not to let go until he felt comfortable-"

"Oh my Witches! Or until your lackies start trampling over my milkcrowns! I just planted those!"

Shadow Milk had to shoo a group of disgruntled Dark Cacao warriors away from his injured flowers before he began to nurse any of the damaged blossoms.

"These are very delicate! This is the only patch of ground with the right soil density for them to thrive! You ruffians just can't enjoy anything nice, can you?! These are my dau- MY favorites!"

As Shadow Milk tended to his small patch of injured flowers, Dark Cacao raised an eyebrow and looked to Pure Vanilla speaking quietly enough so only he could hear.

"It seems different from what you describe while in Beast-Yeast"

"He has grown quite a lot"

Pure Vanilla looked on fondly, pure adoration on his features.

–––

One ancient down. Three more to go. Dark Cacao had returned to camp to finish setting up and to train. Whatever did he need to train for. Shadow Milk rolled his eyes. He was back together with Pure Vanilla while they waited for an airship that was apparently transporting Hollyberry Cookie. The only thing Shadow knew about her was that Eternal Sugar Cookie had apparently played a rather intense game with her. Sugar must have been fond of her if she had tried to lock Hollyberry up so tightly in her jewelry box.

He heard boisterous laughing long before he was able to see where it was coming from. Contrary to Dark Cacao, Hollyberry had only brought a single gruff-looking escort with her. Even then, he seemed awfully weak compared to the woman he was accompanying even if she reeked of berry juice. Though Shadow Milk hadn't been much better in the couple years before his fall.

"Pure Vanilla Cookie! Bring it in friend!"

Hollyberry wasted no time in snatching up Pure Vanilla and hoisting him into the air in a tight embrace. He was flailing, though laughing, long before she put him down.

"Then this must be Eternal Sugar's friend, right?"

It was disorienting just how quickly he was pulled out of the air and had a rough set of knuckles mussing around in his hair. The scream of terror he unleashed was only genuine for a moment before it was overridden by annoyance that his bangs had been knocked out of place. When he was finally released, he was eager to find solace in Pure Vanilla cloak as he open an arm specifically for Shadow Milk's refuge.

Even playful gestures like that, if preformed by particularly strong and reckless cookies, were enough to leave him sore and aching. Vanilla's proximity helped with some of those side effects.

He summoned a mirror in his hair to fix his appearance as he spoke.

"Jeez, I can't believe Sugar wanted to keep you of all people. Did Pavlova let a stray arrow hit her or something?"

When he was satisfied with his appearance again, he tossed the mirror behind him and smirked when he heard it shatter. Pure Vanilla winced at the noise.

"You're going to clean that up, right?"

"Yeah yeah, already done. It's somewhere in the other realm now. Anywho! Who's tall, dark, and brooding over here?"

The armored cookie next to Hollyberry readjusted his gauntlet at the mention of himself.

"Wildberry Cookie. I will protect the Queen-Mother at all costs."

"Huh. Mmkay, you sure you're a Hollyberrian? The Dark Cacao warriors are that-a-way!"

Shadow Milk pointed to the large tent he could already see would be blocking the sunlight to a majority of the front garden. Are they trying to piss him off?

"Very funny." Wildberry was not amused.

He was especially unamused when Hollyberry slapped a strong hand against his back with a laugh.

"That is funny! Really, I keep telling you to lighten up! I brought a very good blend of berry juice that I'm confident will loosen you up! Eternal Sugar Cookie loved it, so I'm sure this blue fellow will too!"

It turned out that Holly and Sugar had actually gotten along rather well at least once she had been released from the garden. It was good to hear what his friend had been up to for all these years. Apparently her garden was actually doing quite well, though Pavlova and Sugarfly were a little worse for wear. Shadow Milk was sure she'd only locked them down a little harder after her imprisonment. Afterall, they must have been completely lost without her to tend to the garden. She was only keeping them safe. They'd be absolutely overjoyed once they all calmed down a bit and realized that Sugar hadn't really changed that much.

They all talked so long that the group had ended up sitting in Hollyberry's guest room with Pure Vanilla's arm wrapped firmly around Shadow Milk's waist. Everytime he recalled a particularly fond memory of Eternal Sugar, Pure Vanilla's grasp would tighten ever so slightly. He wondered if maybe he was mad? He was just telling stories about his old friends and most of them were from before their fall, so what could he possibly be mad about? Back then, they all avoided hurting cookies like the plague. Even now, Sugar had never actually crumbled anybody.

His train of thought was interrupted when a small castle servant knocked at the door to tell them that Golden Cheese Cookie had arrived. Pure Vanilla and Shadow Milk excused themselves to greet her, leaving the Hollyberrians to settle in.

"What was that all about?"

Shadow Milk rubbed at his side as they walked.

"I'm sorry, dear, I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"I'm right as rain! Don't know what you could possibly be crying over though"

"Oh! I'm not upset with you! It's only... you and Eternal Sugar Cookie.. You speak of her very fondly. Is it possible that you were ever..?"

Shadow Milk gasped at the realization.

"Oh my! Nilly! You're jealous!"

"No, I'm not.. hmm well.. perhaps I am. I've never really felt like this before."

"Hah! Now you know how I feel everytime is see your favorite flower"

"Hehe.. that was.. a long time ago bluebird. But if it makes you feel better, I can certainly make sure to give you some extra attention while she's here"

Shadow Milk preened in mid-air, floating happily in circles around his other half.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, everything between Sugar and I happened a long time ago too. We were uh, batting for different teams if you get what I mean"

"Oh." Pure Vanilla blushed slightly and looked away with a tiny sparkle of pride in his eyes, "I see."

–––

Shadow Milk insisted on checking on the children (who were completely fine) quickly before they headed down to greet Golden Cheese in the foyer.

She was completely radiant, literally. The way her hair and wings gleamed like gold almost made it hard to look at her. She kept her arrow-shaped spear held at attention at her side as she gave Shadow Milk an appraising glare. He was giving her an equally intense stare, but his was directed at her wings. Did everyone he know have wings these days? Hers were especially intriguing though.

"Just what are you staring at?" She tapped the spear against the ground to emphasize her annoyance.

"Your wings.. they don't have feathers, but they're different from insects or any type of wing with a membrane. What exactly are they made of?"

Shadow Milk floated forward a few inches, trying to examine them closer with an outstretched hand. They were retracted and pulled close to her body before he could make contact.

"You dare make an attempt to touch me? After your little friend tore the old ones off, what makes you think I'd let you anywhere near them, beast?"

Shadow Milk recoiled at the information, flitting to hide halfway behind Pure Vanilla, his hands grasping loosely at his shoulders. What was she talking about?

"Wait, are you saying Burning Spice.."

The digust and horror on his features must have been abundantly clear by the way Golden Cheese lowered her guard. Shadow Milk couldn't help but trace one hand over the burt half of his body. He barely noticed when Pure Vanilla's hand came up to rest atop his own.

"Hah, wow.. what did you do to him, huh? He got me pretty good too back in the day but that's because I decided I was way too good to date a brute like him!"

"Really? All that because of.. a breakup..?" Pure Vanilla's sad eyes made Shadow Milk laugh nervously. Suddenly he didn't want to talk about it anymore.

"Haha.. yeeahhhh. I mean, back then he had like six arms! But yeah.. not really my type. Probably my fault, really! He was always a bit cranky! I was playing with fire afterall! Hahah!"

Nobody else was laughing. Why.. why weren't they laughing?

"You know get it? Fire?" The silence stretch on. "Wow, alright, tough crowd.."

"Pure Vanilla Cookie, I assume you know what he's talking about? I don't see any signs of damage on him! I have no tolerance for such blatant lies!"

"No, I assure you, he's telling the truth, my friend, but this topic doesn't exactly seem to bring up.. happy memories for either one of you."

"Yeah.." Shadow Milk rubbed at the burnt side of his chest absentmindedly. No matter how hard he pressed, there was no feeling.

Golden Cheese looked similarly affected, stretching her wings every which way like she was trying to assure herself that they were still there.

"So, uh, if he really.. did that, how did you get them back? I know I've been gone a long time, but I don't think modern medicine has evolved so much that you can just go reattaching limbs like that"

"Ahh well, I suppose the awakening can do many wonderous things! If Pure Vanilla can sprout wings, why shouldn't I be able to regrow the ones I already had?"

He supposed that made sense. Awakening and falling were two sides of the same coin as far as Shadow Milk understood. All of the beasts appearances changed after the fall. Even him. He pulled a lock of his hair over his shoulder and scowled. The eyes blinking away inside followed him everywhere he went. He wished that someday they would finally leave him alone.

"Right.." He was tired.

"Well, I should see myself to my room! Flying here from the Golden City is much more tiring than I imagined! And I can't imagine you should keep White Lily Cookie waiting much longer either."

Shadow Milk had been trying to forget about her all day. Just hearing her name was enough to have him flaring his nostrils in irritation.

"Uhg! You can't be serious! Nilla, do I really have to see her?"

"I'm afraid so, bluebird."

"Arg! No no no! I don't want to!"

"Are you saying you'd prefer for me to be alone with her?" Pure Vanilla perked up one eyebrow to question Shadow Milk.

"Absolutely not! You! Ohhh I hate you! Fine! Have it your way! But I'm not letting go of you even for a second! I want her to know that she absolutely cannot have what's mine!"

Shadow Milk had already wrapped himself back up in Pure Vanilla's cloak and had his arm snuggly intertwined with the other's.

"My! What a greedy fellow!" Shadow Milk had almost forgotten about their audience. He though she said she was going to bed. He assumed she was insulting him, but her laughter said otherwise, "It looks like I'll need to share one of my precious treasures, won't I?"

Shadow Milk didn't understand anything about Golden Cheese or how what anything she said was funny, but Pure Vanilla was laughing anyway. Whatever. As long as Pure Vanilla was happy, he could put up with her clearly inferior sense of humor.

–––

He could absolutely NOT put up with being in this disgusting greenhouse. He pressed his nose into Pure Vanilla's sleeve to mask the smell, but it wasn't nearly as effective as he had hoped.

There were at least three mistakes he could spot in the summoning circle that Pure Vanilla had drawn up, but he didn't bother to correct them. He wished there were more. If he could cause even the slightest bit of breeze, he could change the spell just enough for it to completely crumble crumble her on transit. He couldn't fathom why in Witches name he didn't. It's not like Pure Vanilla could blame him for every tiny gale of wind. But he'd be completely inconsolable when he found out what happened.

The rune glowed a bright blue under their feet. Shadow Milk closed his eyes and pressed in close. From this angle, his Soul Jam was shielded more or less by Pure Vanilla's shoulder. He couldn't resist the urge to cast just one.. maybe two shield spells. Nobody could see the dual bubbles surrounding them, but if Pure Vanilla and White Lily truly had studied at his academy, they'd be able to sense them without even thinking about it.

There was an ethereal flash as Pure Vanilla activated the spell. The blue light rose upwards from the ground slowly materializing into a distastefully hideous cookie. She blinked into existence with a small shake, situating herself in her new surroundings. The faint smile on her lips was only visible until she realized that Pure Vanilla wasn't the only person who had come to greet her. The hush between them was nearly audible. Pure Vanilla clearing his throat was enough to startle both of them.

"White Lily Cookie, it's good to see you again. How are the fairy cookies fairing?"

"Pure Vanilla.. should we really discuss this in front of him..? I can handle taking him back to the tree if you don't think you can stomach it."

Shadow Milk's hand wandered to his neck. His claws dug into the fabric of his ruff. Even one of his muscles tensed until it looked like he was physically shaking.

"I know you think you're doing the right thing and, you've always been so compassionate but.. think about Elder Faerie Cookie. I fear you're being tricked by him again." White Lily took a step forward with an outstretched hand.

Shadow Milk bristled at the accusation, but his throat felt tight. He couldn't speak without feeling sick. Even without speaking he was trying not to retch. He bit at his tounge to keep his gag reflex under control.

"Bluebird..? Are you alright dear? You look pale.."

"The smell is just make me nauseous.." he choked out followed by a tiny gag.

He may have been lying about why he felt so sick, but the nausea was certainly real. Pure Vanilla shared a small look with White Lily as he readjusted so he was essentially holding Shadow Milk in a bridal carry. Witches above, was he really feeling so weak that he needed to be carried? He had talked to a lot of people today, and they did save the worst for last but this just felt pathetic.

"Let's take a seat inside" Pure Vanilla's fingers stroked through Shadow Milk's hair as they walked.

White Lily followed far behind, a terrified wobble in her legs.

–––

The couches in Pure Vanilla's home were as soft and comfortable as they had always been, especially when Shadow Milk could lay his head in Pure Vanilla's lap. The hand rubbing gentle circles on his abdomen was definitely helping too. He might have started purring if White Lily wasn't sitting right across from them.

"Pure Vanilla, I just can't help feeling that you're making a mistake. He's clearly using you so he can reclaim the Soul Jam!"

Shadow Milk sighed and pressed his palms into his eyes to calm his headache.

"I already told you. I've had plenty of opportunities to take it. If I really wanted it, I would've take it by now. Are we done yet? I want to go bed."

"You are so cruel Shadow Milk Cookie. How dare you take advantage of Pure Vanilla's kindness!"

"I haven't taken advantage of shit! You should see him after a long day! I'm the one getting used!"

"Shadow Milk! These are not details she needs to hear!" Pure Vanilla swatted at Shadow Milk's arm before disgruntledly returning his hand to the jester's stomach.

"You can't be serious. Pure Vanilla you can't really be sharing a bed with that.. that murderer!"

Pure Vanilla took a deep breath before opening his mouth.

"I know that you are still hurting, my friend. Shadow Milk has done many irreversible things, but.. he's capable of sweetness. And he's deserving of love like anyone else. All of the beasts are. They have led a very lonely existence, even when they were surrounded by other cookies. I think we underestimate the burden that was placed on them before they fell. I understand that doesn't justify what he has done, but what further atonement can he give you? Watching him suffer will not bring back Elder Faerie Cookie."

Clearly White Lily was unconvinced, but she nodded her head and excused herself. Shadow Milk took the opportunity to let out a sigh of relief and let himself relax.

"You've had a very long day, Bluebird, but thankyou for trying. I don't doubt that tomorrow will be equally challenging, if not more so, but I will be with you the entire time. You do not have to do this alone."

Pure Vanilla cupped Shadow Milk's face in his hand and place a chaste and reassuring kiss on his forehead.

"Yeah.." he leaned into the warm hands on his cheeks as he thought about what to do next, "you should get the kitchen staff to deliver dinner to everyone in their rooms, and then I'm going to bed. I'll conjure beds for Candy and Sapphire. There's enough space in your room for at least five!" He scoffed with a small smile.

"Actually there is one more thing I need to discuss with you."

"Uhg! What is it now? I'm tired!"

"How should I introduce you tomorrow?"

"Uh.. I thought we did that today? I've got a name, and I personally don't mind you wearing it out all you want~"

Pure Vanilla's chuckle was exactly what he needed to hear.

"That's not what I meant, but I'll be sure to remember that. What I mean is that many of the others are sure to have doubts about what we are to each other. You aren't exactly subtle."

"Oh this is the 'what are we' question isn't it? You've been reading too much. You're just my other half. We're bound to be infatuated with each other. The Soul Jams want to be reunited, so as long as we're under their influence, it's only natural that we crave each other's presence."

"Is that what you truly believe? You haven't thought at all about alternatives? We are not slaves to our Soul Jams, Shadow Milk. If you think your Soul Jam wants something.. I'm willing to bet you want it too."

Shadow Milk was exhausted and this wasn't what he wanted to he talking about. He could get up and leave any time he wanted. He didn't. He stretched his arms in front of him and stared at the sharp nails at the end of each skinny finger.

"I don't know, Nilla. I wasn't made to feel emotions. I was never supposed to want things. I'm not even really a cookie, you know that? We beasts.. we're more like broken toys to the Witches. We weren't even given proper names. For hundreds of years I was just the Fount of Knowledge. I'm not capable of.. loving you."

The word felt wrong coming from his mouth. Normally he wouldn't say any of the things he was saying now, but he wanted to get this conversation over with.

"You.. don't love Candy Apple and Black Sapphire?"

"What? What are you getting at? That's.. that's different!"

"How?"

Shadow Milk opened his mouth for a rebuttal, but he had nothing. When did he even start truly caring for those two? He was sure he would have denied the word 'love' as an accurate descriptor just a few years ago, but.. the warm feelings he got when he remembered the very first time he held them in his arms couldn't be called anything else.

"What do you think of simply.. partner for now? I think it gets the point across rather well." Pure Vanilla suggested.

Shadow Milk thought it over for a moment, mouthing the word. It did sound better than any of the other alternatives he had considered.

Sleep was a welcome release from the woes of the day, but it still didn't come naturally. Shadow Milk tossed and turned all night waking frequently from nightmares. Every thirty minutes or so, he would pad across the room just to check that Candy Apple and Sapphire were still soundly tucked in their own temporary beds. If this meeting went well, then they could return to their own rooms. He could even show them off as just about the only thing he had ever been proud of. But right now, their relationship to Shadow Milk was a liability. Pure Vanilla's sleep-talking told him that he wasn't having very good dreams either.

In fact, it was possible that neither of them would've gotten any sleep at all if Candy Apple hadn't crawled herself into bed between them. Shadow Milk curled himself around her small body protectively and Pure Vanilla mirrored the gesture, wrapping her in a tight cacoon of safety. He didn't remember when it happened but by the time they woke up, even Black Sapphire had found himself a space at the foot of the bed.

That morning felt even more somber than the one before. Everyone moved at a snail's pace, and the kids didn't even bother changing out of their pajamas. It just wasn't worth it. Shadow Milk obviously couldn't get away with doing the same, but the clothing he wore was significantly more comfortable than his usual attire. In fact, the black robe was extremely similar to what the Fount of Knowledge used to wear. It felt fitting to walk to his execution in the same clothes he was born in.

He felt numb even when Pure Vanilla's hand snaked into his own, leading them slowly down the long, winding corridors. He felt like a dead man walking.

They stopped just in front of the large doors to the Solarium of Unity.

"Shadow Milk, look at me. Take a breath dear"

It wasn't until then that Shadow Milk even realized he had been holding his breath. Pure Vanilla took both of his hands in his own, squeezing gently. His mis-matched eyes were wide open.

"I'm here with you. You're not alone. I'll be with you every step of the way, no matter what they decide. And.. I'm fairly confident you already have a majority vote, my love."

Pure Vanilla offered a small, reassuring smile. It was filled with warmth down to the very core.

"What? Pretty sure you and Hollyberry are the only two who are even willing to give me a chance."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that" There was a knowing smirk playing on Pure Vanilla's lips, "you don't know my friends nearly as well as I do, and I know Golden Cheese left your interaction quite pleased. Not only that, but I think Dark Cacao is warming up to the idea of your stay as well."

Shadow Milk clearly wasn't convinced but he nodded anyways.

"You are wonderful, Bluebird." Pure Vanilla affirmed with a peck on the cheek.

"You're handsome, and loving, and a wonderful father. You're surprisingly kind, you're intelligent, and utterly brilliant."

Each kind word was accompanied with a kiss until Shadow Milk was shaking with laughter and was trying to bat Pure Vanilla away.

"Okay okay, I get it! You can stop now!" Shadow Milk poked at the healer's sides drawing an equally relaxed laugh from the other.

They clutched onto each other in their joy even when the situation was dire. They laughed so loud they must have drawn the attention of the ancients inside because they didn't stop laughing until Hollyberry opened the door.

"There you two are! You're looking awfully jolly! Am I interrupting something?" There was a twinkle of mischief in her eyes, leaving the door wide open for the two of them to enter.

"No no of course not. Shadow Milk was only in need of a little pep talk."

"You have a funny definition of 'talk' Nilly!"

Shadow Milk was certainly in a better mood now, and the three of them entered the room in high spirits. Everyone was staring, but what was a show without an audience? As Hollyberry took her seat, Pure Vanilla stood behind his own and Shadow Milk followed suit. They stood side by side, hands still firmly clasped together. Pure Vanilla waited for the others' to quite down before he began his spiel.

"My dear friends! It truly has been such a long time since we were all gathered together in the same place! I only wish it were under slightly more light-hearted pretenses. Even so, I pray that this meeting goes well for all of us so that we may enjoy the rest of our time together at ease. With that, I'm sure you're all aware why I have called you all here. While I have spent the most time with him, I do value your opinions as well, so I'd like to introduce you all to my dear partner Shadow Milk Cookie."

Hearing Pure Vanilla call him that out loud for the first time filled him with a sense of pride, but possibly even more so, anxiety.

"Aw shucks! Are we really sure we're solid on that term Nilly?" Shadow Milk had begun to float a little higher than before, wiping his sweaty palms on his robe and allowing Pure Vanilla a chance to sit down.

"Courting is a little overrated don't you think? Dating at our age? Why don't we just get on with the wedding already, am I right?"

He looked around the room for some kind of approval, but all he got was a snort from Hollyberry and a couple of raised eyebrows. Alright. Not a great start, but not terrible. He could work with this.

"I'm kidding!~ about the marriage, I mean. We are- I mean- you know.." Shadow Milk interlocked his fingers to get the message across. "Whatever, that doesn't matter!" With a snap of his fingers a circle of note cards appeared floating around him almost like a shield.

"When did you even what time to write those..?" Pure Vanilla asked.

Shadow Milk waved him away with a tiny sigh as he spun the cards until he found the one he was looking for, "there's always time for note cards."

"Hah! Well that doesn't remind me of anyone!" Golden Cheese gave Pure Vanilla a pointed look that had both of their wings fluttering from contentment.

"Alright, here we are! I, of course, am the glorious and magnanimous Shadow Milk Cookie! Hold for applause ~"

Pure Vanilla was the only one kind enough to humor him clapping his hands quietly for a few seconds.

"Once upon a time I was hailed as the all-mighty Fount of Knowledge! The Truthsayer! The holder of the complete Soul Jam of Knowledge! Until of course.. my friends and I all had some teeny tiny.. issues." Shadow Milk pinched his fingers together with an awkward and almost apologetic smile, "We were, how should I say, a little bit disillusioned with our place in the world. But! Might I remind you that we all served our time together in the Silver Tree! Truly, I've already learned my lesson!" Shadow Milk batted his eyelashes. "Nilly simply.. pushed me in the right direction! So really! I'm no threat! I am only *sniff* misunderstood!"

With that, he took his seat, looking like he was on top of the world after his completely downplayed retelling of events.

"This is absolutely ridiculous!" White Lily slammed her staff, her face red with anger, "you can't seriously believe him! He's the beast of deceit. Clearly he's playing dirty! Who knows what kind of spells he's been casting on Pure Vanilla Cookie?!"

"Excuse me? If he were under any magical influences you of all people should be able to tell!" Shadow Milk challenged.

White Lily ground her teeth together and her grip tightened on her staff, but she didn't respond.

"Well, White Lily Cookie? You are the most well-versed in magic. Is Pure Vanilla Cookie truly under a curse of some kind?" Dark Cacao questioned.

There was a beat of silence before, "No. He isn't."

A relieved sigh was shared by everyone at the table, even Shadow Milk and Pure Vanilla.

"Well I for one congratulate Pure Vanilla on finally finding a man!" Hollyberry raised her glass with a cheerful grin.

"I concur! He really doesn't seem like much of a threat, and he's very greedy!" Golden Cheese nodded in agreement.

"Hmm.. still, shouldn't we take the Soul Jam into custody? He won't need it anymore as long as he honestly doesn't have any untoward plans." Dark Cacao chimed in.

Shadow Milk's hands immediately shot up to cover his Soul Jam and he fled his seat to press his body against the upper corner of the room.

"Look at him! He's obviously guilty!" White Lily added, standing and pointing her staff directly at Shadow Milk's Soul Jam.

Black sludge-like bars split the corner Shadow Milk had claimed from the rest of the room. He had to blink rapidly to keep himself from falling into an all too familiar memory that started the same way. It was difficult to train his eyes on White Lily and keep her face from blending between the disapproving stares of the Witches or the hatred of Elder Faerie.

"Stay back! You can't have it!" Shadow Milk bared his teeth, white knuckling the brooch until his claws dug into his own skin.

"Not again.. Never again!" In his panic, he lost control of his own ability to float and fell down to the hard linoleum floor, hitting his nose on the way down.

The smell and taste of blood turned the scene on front of him on it's head. He was face to face with Elder Faerie again begging for forgiveness, pleading for freedom for himself and his friends. He was shackled. He couldn't breathe, reliving the white-hot pain of having his soul ripped in two. The screaming was blood-curdling and the screeching of his claws against the floor and wall made his teeth hurt.

"Bl... ir.... uebird... Bluebird!"

Shadow Milk scanned around trying to find the source of the voice. Before he knew what he was doing he was crawling toward it like an injured animal. He might as well have been one. He couldn't see his own hands. They could have been paws for all he knew.

"Feel your neck"

Slowly but surely his paws- no hands- were guided up to the bare skin of his neck. When did he take off his cloak..?

"There are no shackles."

The voice supported what Shadow Milk was feeling. The skin had a strange texture, but he could feel it air on it as he was rocked slowly back and forth.

"The Soul Jams are right here."

Each of his hands was placed on the cool gem stones. The comforting warmth of the larger one was enough to have him blinking his eyes back open. He half-gasped for air in Pure Vanilla's lap. Pure Vanilla? That's right. They were.. in the Solarium of Unity. They weren't even in Beast-Yeast.

"Are you back with us?" Pure Vanilla's voice was a soothing balm on Shadiw Milk's frazzled nerves.

He nodded with a groan and rubbed at his wet eyes. Was he crying..?

"Where's my..? 'M ugly. Let me cover up.."

The black overcloak was pressed into his hands by Hollyberry Cookie. All of the ancients save for White Lily had stayed in the room, though they shirked their weapons. He would never say it out loud, but he appreciated it. As soon as he had gotten the clock back on, pulling the high collar back up to cover his throat, he had his arms wrapped back around Pure Vanilla.

"The kids.." his voice was hoarse and his throat was sore, "They're.. they probably heard that.. we should.. go get them.."

"Shh.. let me handle it. You should rest. Your body isn't built to handle large transformations like that"

"Huh..? Nooo I went full beast?" He hid his face in Pure Vanilla's shoulder.

"I'm afraid so.."

"It was very impressive though, if that helps!" Golden Cheese did her best to be helpful. "Although.. if you don't mind me asking.. what are those scars..?"

"That's what happens when you disobey orders from the Witches." Shadow Milk was too tired to explain in any more depth than that.

"I apologize for my earlier suggestion, Shadow Milk Cookie. I was not aware that the Soul Jam was tied to your life force" Dark Cacao's voice seemed quieter than before.

Shadow Milk could only bring himself to grunt in response. The fatigue was already settling into his bones.

"Let's get you to bed!" Hollyberry leaned down and offered an arm to Shadow Milk.

Her and Pure Vanilla braced either side of him, keeping his wobbly legs from stumbling.

"You.. mentioned you have children?"

Hollyberry made a small attempt at small talk. It was a bit too long of a walk to spend in silence. Shadow Milk nodded weakly.

"Candy Apple and Black Sapphire. I took them in when they were younger. They're siblings." He yawned.

"Where were they yesterday?"

"I was tryin' keep them safe. They were jut in Nilly's room. I left a portal for them to get to the village down below in case things went South."

Hollyberry nodded in understanding.

"I understand your fears. I too am a mother and a grandmother above all else. As long as I'm here, those youngsters will be under my protection, got it?"

Even laughing hurt now, but he didn't mind that much. He felt warm. It wasn't the same kind of warmth that Pure Vanilla provided, but it was still.. happy. He wondered if this was what it was like to have friends. It left him smiling even as he was gently layed down on the bed.

–––

The next time he opened his eyes, he was being jostled awake by two familiar pairs of hands. Everywhere they made contact caused shoots of pain.

"Wakey wakey!"

"This is revenge for freaking us out yesterday!"

Shadow Milk kicked the covers away and practically howled at the two of them.

"I'm up, I'm up! That hurts you know!

He would normally rub away any of his sore spots when he woke up, but this morning, everything was sore. He could hardly raise a single finger. Black Sapphire had his hands on his hips and Candy Apple had hers crossed over her chest.

"Get out of bed. I swear to Witches, I cannot be expected to listen to any more of Pure Vanilla chatting away with those 'heros.' They will NOT shut up about some stupid dance they went to one time"

"It's soooooooo boringgggg!!!"

Candy Apple gave Shadow Milk one final shove that had him catapulting out of bed.

"If you want me to make it more interesting for you, you should really be treating me a litter nicer, don't you think?"

"No. We thought you were dead eight hours ago. You owe us" Black Sapphire glared at him.

"Fine fine! I'll be down in ten. Just let me fix myself.."

Shadow Milk floated over to the vanity mirror as the kids cautiously and suspiciously closed the door behind them. No doubt they would be timing him. The dark circles under his eyes needed concealer to look even somewhat presentable and his hair stuck out in so many different places that he doubted he could actually tame all of it. Anything he could think to wear made him feel sore just thinking about it. Elastics and spandex were a no-go, and cotton was too heavy. He ended up slinking out of the room in a silk bathrobe, his Soul Jam making one side fall open from thevweight of it. He didn't even bother to cover up his neck or chest. It didn't matter anyway. Everyone had already seen just how dilapidated he had become.

Floating was just as challenging as walking would have been. Why did the bedroom have to be so fucking far away from everything else in this Witches forsaken castle? He stumbled along, trailing his fingers along the walls to act as a support.

The dining room went silent when he finally staggered in, making a b-line for Pure Vanilla's lap. He slumped himself down, relying on Pure Vanilla to hold him upright enough to even make eyes contact the other cookies gawking at him.

Surpringly enough, White Lily was still here, though she was more or less silently pushing the food around her plate. Black Sapphire and Candy Apple seemed to have taken as much of a liking to Hollyberry as Shadow Milk himself had.

"Sapphyyy~ bring me coffee will ya?"

"What? Why do I have to do it? Make Candy do it!"

"Candy can't reach the counter."

Shadow Milk could practically hear Black Sapphire's eye twitching. He did ask to be entertained, didn't he?

"Candy Apple can FLY!"

"Well one of you needs to get a cup of coffee into my hands before I keel over! If you're bored enough to drag me out of my much deserved beauty sleep then you can deal with the consequences!"

Sapphire's cheeks puffed up with air, but somehow a mug found it's way into Shadow Milk's hands. He pounded the black liquid back in a single gulp like it was liquor.

"Hah~ much better! So! What's the verdict, huh, Nilly? You gonna lock me up again? Banish me back to Beast-Yeast? Burry me alive? Reunite the Soul Jams so you can keep me on a pretty golden leash? What's it gonna be?"

His cheerful voice was in direct contrast to the many horrible atrocities he described. As long as he was making everyone uncomfortable it was a win in his book. Besides, it made Candy giggle and that was all that really mattered.

"No, no, of course not. This is your home and it will remain that way for as long as you wish. However... we did discuss that perhaps therapy might be a good option considering.."

Shadow Milk slapped his hand over Pure Vanilla's mouth and gave an offended gasp. He pointed an accusatory finger at the bat siblings and brought his hand over his chest like he was in extreme dismay.

"You! You brought me to an intervention!"

He shot to his feet, or rather, he attempted to. In reality he got up and immediately regretted it, clutching at his back and wincing.

"Ow ow ow!"

The following laughter was significantly less satisfying considering it was all directed at him. He grumbled as he fell back onto Pure Vanilla, wrapping his arms around his neck with a growl.

"You're friends are mean to me."

"Well it's hardly our fault if you're an old man!" Golden Cheese gave him a glinting smile.

"Shadow Milk Cookie." White Lily's voice cut through the happy atmosphere like a knife.

It made him flinch.

"Yesterday you were screaming his name. What was your connection to Elder Faerie Cookie? Why were you acting like you were afraid of him? You.. how dare you suggest that he would.." Her jaw clenched and her eyes looked bloodshot.

She was searching for answers. Her gaze shot through Shadow Milk very core. He felt chilled.

"H-hey come on now! We were having a good time! Lighten up! Do we really have to do this.. right now..?" Shadow Milk's hands subconsciously pulled Black Sapphire and Candy Apple to either side of him.

"Answer me!" She screamed, banging her fist against the table. "What game are you playing here? Why were you begging for your life when he should've been the one begging for his?!"

Shadow Milk's hands shook as he ushered the kids out of the kitchen. This was not a conversation they needed to hear. They already knew far too much about the tragedies he had brought about. He wanted to set a better example for them. And he didn't want them to know how weak he had once been.

"You don't know as much as you think you do." He said calmly, stilling his breath as he took his own actual seat.

This felt like too serious of a story to tell snuggled up all cozy on the lap of a saint.

"Elder Faerie Cookie has been around for as long as the Silver Tree has. He was created just like we beasts when Burning Spice was the first to fall."

He used a whisp of magic to weave the story into a lifelike movie that danced along the table.

"We knew why Spice needed to be locked away, but.. we didn't realize how long it would take. By the time 100 years had passed, Salt was beginning to get angry. We all begged Elder Faerie to let Spice go. But the Witches didn't react well when Salt refused to speak again in retaliation. They had disobeyed a direct order. So they too were chained away. Having lost two of her friends, Sugar could no longer bring herself to provide happiness to her subjects, and Flour decided that nothing really mattered if all we were was tools built to be discarded once we outlasted our usefulness. I just couldn't take it anymore. Cookies came seeking answers but only left angry and disappointed when I told them the truth about what happened to the others. So I lied. And I kept lying until I couldn't distinguish my lies from reality. The Witches caught me, took me to the tree, and Elder Faerie's was the last face I saw before I was condemned."

The illusions dissipated with a gentle wave of his hand. He had missed storytelling, but not like this.

"We trusted him. We cried on his shoulder when Spice committed the original sin, but when we needed him he abandoned us. He did his duty, but it wasn't kind. If you really think I didn't mourn him just as much as you did, then you're sorely mistaken."

White Lily stood and left in silence. Shadow Milk rubbed his hands along his face. Why must people push him the way they do?

"What do you mean you weren't meant to feel?"

After an extremely long, extremely awkward silence, Hollyberry was the first to speak.

"Yes, I find it hard to believe that any creature should be born without emotions" Golden Cheese added.

"Even the Dark Cacao warriors are subject to emotional outbursts" Dark Cacao nodded along.

"Well don't ask me! I didn't make the rules! We weren't really 'born' in the first place! We just... didn't exist, and then we did. We were all punished by our own bodies for anything other than complete contentment in our roles."

Pure Vanilla placed his hand gently over top of Shadow Milk's.

"What do you mean.. punished?"

Shadow Milk ran a hand through his hair, pulling all of it to one side. If he closed his eyes he could almost imagine that it hadn't changed at all, even if he feel the blinking of the eyes under his fingers. It brought sad smile to his face.

"My hair.. wow, it used to sparkle. Shine like the stars~ my little flocks would all gather round and they would spend hours just marveling at it~"

He opened his eyes hoping that it would have magically returned to its original form but was only met with disappointment.

"Haha! Yeah, but then I scared 'em pretty bad when it all went sour! It was funny, really."

The laughter he barked out didn't sound genuine. It wasn't genuine. He could remember it like it was yesterday; the children had all run away from him in terror, and he was left alone clutching at the newly-blackened strands.

"But yknow! Now I have eyes in the back my head to watch when Nilly sneaks Candy Apple an extra plate of dessert" He winked.

Pure Vanilla laughed nervously at the accusation, "in my defense, she told me it was her bakeday."

Shadow Milk raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

"Ah, my sweet little liar! I'm so proud" He pretended to wipe a tear from the corner of his eye and leaned back in the chair.

"When are their actual bakedays? I want to be certain to get them gifts they'll like."

"Don't tell them this, but.. I actually have no idea. Candy got it in her head somehow that she was 'born from the first lie' so I tried to figure out when that was and we've been celebrating on June eighteenth since then. As for Sapphire, well that was their adoption day, August seventeenth."

"What about you Shadow Milk? I'll send you a great berry juice when it comes around!" Hollyberry's smile was nearly infectious.

"Duh! Didn't I already tell you? My bakeday is! Drumroll please" He batted his hands playfully against the table and summoned a smaller pair of actual snare drums to join in alongside him. "Never! If I had to say, I'm really not sure if there was a proper calender until a few years after we came out of the oven, but we also came out fully grown so it's not like it really mattered. Even if there was a date for it, I certainly wouldn't celebrate something like that! It sucked! Do you know what it's like to know literally everything before everything even exists? Bleck!"

He feigned a gag at the thought.

"Huh! I would've thought someone like you would take any opportunity to be showered in treasures!" Golden Cheese bellowed, flapping her wings outward as though they themselves could rain gold down upon him.

"Eh, I can pretty much make whatever I want" He shrugged. "But! I do like being showered in praise and adoration!"

He was sick of sitting in his own seat. The serious talk was primarily over, so it felt natural to be somewhere more comfortable, such as floating lazily behind Pure Vanilla, wrapping his arms around his neck and breathing in the sweet scent that lingered in his hair.

"Oh? Do I not compliment you enough already?" Pure Vanilla teased.

"You only do it because you pity me! You should've seen me back then!"

Then the thought occurred to him. He pushed himself backwards and brought his hand to his chin, trying to remember where he had put it.

"Actually.. Give me two minutes! And hold onto your Soul Jam, this might sting a little. It's been a while since I went back to the Spire, but I'm not sure what box I put it in.."

The latter half of his sentence trailed off into mumbles as he flitter through a portal into his old room in the Spire. Wow, it really had been a while. A layer of dust seemed to cover every surface it could get its hands on. Furthermore, he was absolutely right. It did sting being this far away. Sometimes he forgot just how far the distance was between the two kingdoms. How ironic was it that the halves of each Soul Jam had been separated like this for so long? In any case, he was on a mission, no matter how tightly the Soul Jam tried to tug him home. Home. Huh. He supposed Pure Vanilla had said that the castle was his home now too, didn't he?

Books and boxes flew across the room kicking up dust that made him wheeze with each breath. His muscles were still sore and the ache of the brooch hanging off his robe made it difficult to focus, but the pink scrapbook was impossible to miss given that it sat on the opposite side of the color wheel to anything else Shadow Milk possessed. Once it was in his grasp, he didn't leave himself time for goodbyes to the now dilapidated Spire. Instead, he found himself pulled backwards surprisingly violently through his portal, hurtling back into the kitchen like a wingless bird. The wind was completely knocked out of him when he plummeted face-up into Pure Vanilla's lap.

"Found.. it.." he held the scrap book up weakly with water welling in his eyes, the rest of his body laying limply across Vanilla's thighs.

"Oh dear!"

–––

"What on Earthbread was that? Pure Vanilla isn't nearly sturdy enough to handle that!" Dark Cacao rasped.

Shadow Milk's head spun and his back felt like it needed more than a few ice packs.

"Oh, I was just TRYING to break his legs with my spine! OBVIOUSLY I DIDN'T MEAN TO!"

He cringed just trying to sit himself upright, but at least he had the scrapbook. It was probably the only truly valuable thing that had remained in the Spire.

"The Soul Jams don't seem to enjoy being too far apart. I'm not nearly as affected as Shadow Milk is though, so my best guess is that our time together may have intensified the pull on his end" Pure Vanilla explained calmly while he straighted his partner, cooling his back with a soothing frost spell.

"Well, whatever you have must be pretty important if you went all that way to get it!"

Hollyberry was practically champing at the bit to see whatever trinket Shadow Milk had returned with. She had already more or less snatched the book away to flip through the pages.

"It's a scrap book from Sugar. She made one for all of us. We had a lot more time in the early days. There were a lot fewer cookies who actually needed our help."

Shadow Milk sighed a breath of relief from the cold of Pure Vanilla's hands working their magic on his lower back.

"This was you?" Golden Cheese pointed at a group picture in disbelief.

"Woof! I really haven't seen these in a while! But the proof is in the pudding! The hair! The bod! The perfect, absolutely flawless dough!"

He tugged a little at his robe, suddenly feeling self-conscious. He regretted being in such a mood that morning. If he had more than a couple minutes to think, he wouldn't have actually worn this. He pulled Pure Vanilla's hands away from his back and used them as a second barrier to the view of his front so he could subtly rearrange his appearance. It was just a few simple touch-ups; pulling the robe tighter so that his chest was was covered, brushing his hair to the front subverted attention away from his bare throat, he even added a pair of cozy socks and slippers. It's wasn't that strange. Even if it did age him significantly, he was old, and he had a reputation for running cold. He could only hope no one would notice or at least question the changes. Well, he knew one person knew judging by how Pure Vanilla's grasp tightened on him, but that was to be expected. He didn't hate it. It reminded him that he was up way earlier than usual.

"I think you're lovely either way." He pressed a gentle kiss into Shadow Milk's cheek.

"You can barely see me either way" He barely restrained himself from pulling away completely, only tilting his head in the opposite direction.

"Then I suppose it's a good thing I don't need to see you to do this!"

It was a total attack. Kisses smacked onto every inch of blue skin. It was almost audible! Shadow Milk's cheeks burned a bright blue as he clawed at Pure Vanilla's sleeves.

"No! No! Not again! Assault! Assault I tell you!"

Limbs flailed in every which direction as Shadow Milk fought for his life. Even Dark Cacao snorted!

"I'm going to bite you! I'm gonna make Candy bite you! And her bites HURT!"

Pure Vanilla stopped for a moment and considered that outcome. Good! Even a king's actions had consequences. Dire consequences! Shadow Milk was given one more tiny peck to his temple before he was finally released with a huff.

"I'm going back to bed! And you can sleep in the dog house until you apologize!"

Then he zipped away without another word said.

"What exactly do you see in him?" Dark Cacao scowled, though it didn't have the same bite as usual.

Golden Cheese and Hollyberry rolled their eyes. To them, it was obvious. Shadow Milk might have been an unconventional choice but he was undoubtedly the perfect choice for their friend.

"He just.. livens up my days so much! I didn't realize how monotonous it was here in the castle before he showed up. And if I have to be completely honest.." Pure Vanilla leaned in closer, biting his lip like a shy school girl, "he has a great figure"

His wings flittered as though it were juicy gossip and not completely usual for Shadow Milk to wear the tightest bodysuit known to man.

–––

"Bluebird? I apologize if I truly upset you this morning. I was only playing.. I assumed you would appreciate it, but I may have overdone it a little."

There was no response whatsoever. Was he really that mad? Pure Vanilla thought he liked those kinds of gestures, even if he claimed to hate them. He could feel how warm his cheeks were and the Soul Jam's connection led him to believe that Shadow Milk was at least a little happy. He fidgeted with his hands, scanning the room for any signs of life when a deep, when a rumbling snore sounded from under the covers. Had he actually been sleeping this entire time? The sun was already starting to set and dusk was painting the sky a dusty purple.

"Dear? Are you hungry?"

He sat as lightly as he could at the edge of the bed and nudged the heap of blankets.

Shadow Milk swatted at whatever had dared to disturb his rest. He assumed Candy or Sapphire had come back for him.

"Ask your father.." he grumbled not bothering to open his eyes.

He was exhausted. How much longer did he have to explain every little thing to all those eager faces? Isn't this why he fell in the first place? Endless questions and inevitable burn out.

"Bluebird, it's me"

Who? Oh. That wasn't a child. That was..

"Nillyyyy save meee. Your friends make me sooo tiredddd. I never wanna talk to them again! They don't know anything!"

His voice was still dipped in sleep, mumbling and mostly incoherent. He kicked the covers away until he could actually see the person he was speaking to.

"They're only curious, but you're not obligated to answer any questions if you don't feel up to it"

"I don't feel up to doing anything ever again! Come back to bed. You won't eat dinner anyways."

"Oh? I thought you said that I would be sleeping in the 'dog house' tonight?"

"I changed my mind. I'll get my revenge some other way."

He hummed a satisfied sigh when the bed creaked and the mattress bowed with the new weight. It was natural now how he turned himself over and tucked his head under Pure Vanilla's chin. The embrace was warm and comforting. He never felt stressed when they fit together like this, like this was somewhere he was meant to be. Somewhere he was allowed to be. Somewhere he was wanted.

"What did you have in mind?" Pure Vanilla's eyes sparkled with mirth already running through what Shadow Milk might count as vengeance in his mind.

"I'm gonna steal your Soul Jam obviously." He certainly had plans to steal it.. in a way. He was going to have a lot of fun pushing Pure Vanilla's buttons once everyone was gone.

"Hmm.. but if I didn't have my Soul Jam, I believe the wings you love so much would dissappear too, wouldn't they?"

"Oh I have many many many ways of taking a soul! It might be bonded to you now, but it was mine once, and I know it like the back of my hand!" He lifted his head ever so slightly with his tongue stuck out. He gave the bright blue gem a miniscule kitten lick. Clearly, Pure Vanilla was unaware of all the little sensations toying with a soul could bring judging by the way he shivered.

"I thought you were tired.. but if you truly want my affection that badly I suppose I could think of an excuse to skip a meal.."

"Nope! I am tired! I'm going back to sleep. I just wanted to show you what's in store for when your attention is less divided~ but if you don't think you can wait, your welcome to some self-exploration!" His face went serious for just a second, "after you eat."

There had been too many people in his house for too many days. One week might as well have been a whole month, especially with White Lily still hanging around as if she was actually welcome here. He could see it in her eyes. She was having fun, wasn't she? Pretending to be everything Shadow Milk never could be. She was timid and kind and remorseful. That was what Pure Vanilla wanted, wasn't it?

Even if the very sight of her made his blood boil, he couldn't take his eyes off of her. He couldn't trust her, not even for a second. If she didn't have her hands all over his partner, then she trying to pull information out of his children, trying to find proof that he was hurting his other half, or worse, the children themselves.

Since that morning at the breakfast table, he had spent most of his time as Lady Blue Raspberry Cookie. It was easier to be civil as long as she was the one doing all the talking, and he didn't have to stare at his own reflection. Furthermore, he had a plan, and keeping in touch with his feminine side would prove very useful.

"Shadow.. hm, Blue?" Pure Vanilla wandered around aimlessly until his staff layed it's eye on the fluttering blue and black skirts.

"Oh? Don't you know it's very rude to call out a woman's improper name? Why, how would you feel if, in a moment of weakness, I were to call you Eternal Sugar, or even Burning Spice hm? Now isn't that unpleasant!"

The wrinkles in the bridge of Pure Vanilla's nose told him all he needed to know. Shadow Milk couldn't remember the last time he smiled like this. It was cruel, thin grin, brought on by another's suffering. How could he have forgotten this feeling? So what if there was a knot in his stomach? It didn't matter how terrible he felt as long as he could share that suffering with his other half. That connection was the only thing he craved.

"What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I'm only doing some gardening! Don't you think this greenhouse could use a little bit of color?"

The dreadfully pale lilies that surrounded them all took on a pleasant blue hue, and the scent shifted to be reminiscent of blueberries.

"Or! Even better, we could just burn the whole thing down!"

Each delicate petal burst into flames, popping and crackling as though it was screaming for help. Perhaps they were screaming? The voices warbled and echoed, unintelligible. It was impossible to tell what they were saying if they were saying anything at all. Pure Vanilla took a step backwards. What? Why was he turning away? That wasn't right.

It didn't matter he could still salvage it with the second phase of his scheming. It was sure to have Pure Vanilla begging for a stop to the torture. Browns and greens replaced everything that Shadow Milk was until White Lily stood amongst the destruction of her own precious garden. The smile on his face became a blood-curdling sob and hands that weren't his own reached out to pull at the flowing white robes.

"Pure Vanilla Cookie help me! It hurts! It hurts so much! Make it stop!"

"Shadow Milk, I don't want to play this game with you. This.. this is not a very effective way to communicate your wants and needs. Please let go."

A single blink was all it took for the flowers to return to normal and the deflated jester to pull his hand away like it had actually been burned. This wasn't how it was supposed to go.

"Did that make you feel better?" Pure Vanilla still wouldn't look at him.

"... no."

"What did you plan to achieve?" Pure Vanilla's voice wavered a bit, but he didn't turn around just yet.

"Shouldn't you have been begging for it all to end? I thought you would do anything to save her. You'd be right back in my arms, promising never to betray me again~ Or! I can look just like her any time you want if that's what you prefer! You'd keep your eyes on me then, wouldn't you? We can keep pretending! Just keep the real White Lily from coming back here and I can do anything she can do, but so so much better!"

"Is that really want you think I want..?"

"Oh please! Just look at the way she touches you! A long time ago my ass! I wouldn't be surprised if you'd been going behind my back all week just to satisfy yourself with a real woman, am I right?"

Pure Vanilla finally turned around but he looked tired, older than he really was. His eyes were sad, like he was staring at something pitiful.

"If it really made you so uncomfortable, you only needed to tell me, and there's no world where I would.. I could never be so cruel, especially to you."

Just tell him? He said it like it was completely obvious! Like he could've just told the Witches he had been unhappy? Like Burning Spice listened when he told him that it hurt? Told him to stop? But then again, he himself was the one who said it was rude to call someone by the wrong name. And Pure Vanilla wasn't like anyone else.

"Yeah, sure, whatever." Shadow Milk crossed his arms over his chest and rolled his eyes, his mouth turned upside-down in a scowl that could make milk curdle.

Pure Vanilla pinched at the bridge of his nose very uncharacteristically. His chest rose and fell heavily with each agonizingly slow and thoughtful breath until he looked composed enough to speak again.

"Everyone is leaving tonight. Please come to dinner and say goodbye?"

"Will it make you less.." Shadow Milk gestured blankly with one hand, looking for a word he didn't understand "I don't know, whatever this is? You look terrible."

"I wonder why that could be." Pure Vanilla sighed. "I'm.. angry and more than anything disappointed. I suppose I thought you were past this type of... stunt. But.. this is exactly why we agreed upon therapy sessions, and I think this will be a good place to start tomorrow."

"Oh yeeaahhhh I was kinda hoping you would just.. forget about that! I know I did! I mean, really, it's not like one tiny little mortal cookie can actually turn me into something palatable. And frankly, I'm perfectly content just the way I am!"

"And someone who is perfectly content with themself spends an entire week using magic to change nearly every aspect of their appearance and personality?" Pure Vanilla reached one measly hand towards Shadow Milk who floated out of reach as always.

Upon closer inspection, said hand was trembling and the eyes that had opened up to stare blankly at what Shadow Milk assumed appeared as just a black blob in the sky were bloodshot. He swore that he only took the offered hand out of curiosity. He wasn't worried. He didn't feel bad. He cupped those shaking fingers in his own hands, willing them to be still.

"You do not need to 'become more palatable' as you put it. I'm sure many cookies will always have a difficult time understanding you, but those who are deserving of your friendship will take the time to decipher your mannerisms. The true goal is to help you re-frame the way you think about yourself. It's about changing your perspective." The healer smiled.

And what a warm smile it was. Shadow Milk found himself far too drawn to it. It was wistful and made his chest ache in the most wonderful way. How could have forgotten this feeling? The knot in his stomach had unraveled all at once into a storm of fluttering butterfly wings. He wanted to kick himself for making someone so precious so upset.

"I'm guessing you want an apology then?" Shadow wasn't one to express his true feelings out loud of course, but the panging in his heart made him hope that Pure Vanilla could see through all the walls he had built up around himself.

"Yes, but I won't accept one that's ingenious"

Shadow Milk had to close his eyes and think. Pure Vanilla always made him think. What exactly was he sorry for? What did he regret? Why did he do that? What could he have done better? Those were the components of a good apology, at least according to the book Pure Vanilla left on his nightstand.

"I'm sorry for.. making you feel bad and making you cry. I shouldn't have pretended to burn your flowers or your... friend because I was jealous and don't like her. I should have told you." The sentences were disjointed and felt odd in his mouth. Truthfully he was reluctant to say anything at all, but it was worth it to make his other half feel better. When did he get so sappy?

"Thankyou, dearest. That was a very good apology. Did you take a peek at what I've been reading recently?" The spark of mirth in Pure Vanilla's eyes was unmistakable.

"You left that there on purpose to trick me."

"No, that page only made me think about you, so I bookmarked it for you"

"Fine. I'll go to your little going away party."

–––

It was indeed Shadow Milk and not Blue Raspberry who showed up to dinner that night. That being said, Pure Vanilla told him to dress his best and he wasn't one to deny himself the pleasure of a figure-hugging dress like the one he was wearing now. The halter neckline and long gloves were enough to keep most of his skin covered just the way he liked it.

Considering how short-notice Pure Vanilla's request for something so fanciful had been, Shadow Milk hardly had time to prepare adequate outfits for his children. He could of course conjure all of his outfits with magic and he could do so for others, but he much preferred having them to wear actual clothing. It was certainly safer just in case he needed to dispel his enchantments for the sake of mana storage. It also helped that he simply loved the act of sewing. Admittedly, the children had plenty of clothes and there certainly were formal ones, but with them actually growing outside of the Spire, he was hard-pressed to find anything that fit.

He bit at the tip of his clawed thumb as he flipped through a closet full of black clothes. Black Sapphire's usual outfits were decently fancy, and he wasn't growing nearly as much as Candy Apple. The only thing that really changed about him on a regular basis was the length of his hair. Candy had gone up a size and at least seemed to be taller than before. Normally Shadow Milk tried not to pay attention to it. As long as he ignored her changes, he could pretend they weren't happening at all.

Dresses, ruffles, and ribbons lay abandoned on the floor, colors blending into the decor. His foot tapped incessantly on the hard-wood floor, picking at fabrics.

"None of them? That's the only thing that fits you?"

Candy nodded. Even her fangs looked longer now, sticking out over her lip.

"Alright.. wear that and I'll just.."

With a reluctant sigh, he shut his eyes and focused on a few key details that might jeuje it up a bit. Golden embroidery along the hems, a few strategically placed gems, it was always the smalls things that made a difference, even if they would dissappear by the next morning. A second stocking was a must too. Where the other one had gone was beyond himself. They always seemed to vanish no matter how many extras he made her.

"Alright, that should be good enough.."

Candy flitted around in the mirror, spinning this way and that, flapping her wings as the details caught and sparkled in the light.

"One more thing, you two" Shadow Milk beckoned for both of the kids to stand side by side in front of him. He cupped each of their faces with one hand, a serious expression gracing his features. "I want you to have fun and eat and dance and whatever, but do not speak with White Lily Cookie, do you understand? Don't touch her, don't even look at her if you can avoid it. If you need me and can't find me or Nilla, Hollyberry and Golden Cheese are the safest people to ask. Dark Cacao if you absolutely have to." He released their faces, ruffling the tops of their heads with a worried sigh, careful not to tussle their hair too much.

"Now let's go get this over with! Your father is being a real pain in the ass about it." Shadow rolled his eyes, ushering the other two out the door. It wasn't until he caught Sapphire chuckling under his breath that he realized how exactly he had referred to Pure Vanilla that time. What a strange feeling it was to be so domesticated. They had only decided on the term partner a week ago and yet he was already filling in the gaps of their comfortable little life with new words, and apologies, and kindness, and soon enough, therapy and healing. Or the closest thing to healing that he was really capable of. He'd probably just show up to an office where another cookie told him everything that was wrong with him. Wouldn't that be absolutely fabulous? He'd manage to ignore for another night, though. He still needed to make up for that morning, and Pure Vanilla was going to get swept off his feet if Shadow Milk had anything to say about it.

–––

Their usual dinnertime ballroom had been dressed to the nines with sconces full of flowers lining nearly every wall. Not a single lily to be found. He almost let himself smile at that detail. The curtains were all tied back, letting the sunset compete with the glittering chandeliers above their heads.

Each cookie in the room was appropriately dressed. He best approved of Hollyberry's ballgown, but whatever seemingly ceremonial garb Golden Cheese had on was fitting too. If Dark Cacao had changed at all, Shadow Milk couldn't tell how, but he had half-expected the sour puss to dress down so he couldn't be too disappointed. White Lily was as agitating as ever with her long, white gown fluttering along behind her. It must've been the same thing she was wearing when she became the guardian of the tree. It reminded him of a wedding dress. He didn't know how hard he had to try to remind her that she was not the blushing bride in this story. It was worse when he laid eyes on Pure Vanilla for the first time that evening and realized that he practically matched her.

It was a white, three-piece suit he had seemingly never worn before. At least, Shadow Milk had never seen it. It was rarer than rare to see Pure Vanilla actually wearing pants, so Shadow Milk was sure he would've remembered an outfit like that. He wondered when his partner actually had time to get it without him noticing. Either way, it was still white, and if you were particularly blind like Pure Vanilla was, it might have been easy to mistake the blue accents on his ensemble for the periwinkle on White Lily's.

"Shadow Milk! I'm glad that you are here. Blue Raspberry may be wonderful company, but I think i soeak for all of us when I say I much prefer you as yourself, my dear. Although, I have to say, in either form, you are quite suited to dresses such as these."

"Hey hey! I want a compliment too!" Candy Apple pouted, already tugging at the front of Pure Vanilla's vest.

It took Pure Vanilla a second to angle his staff close enough to properly catch the details with Candy Apple twirling around so rambunctiously.

"Oh I see! Why that is beautiful! Gold and not silver..? Did Shadow Milk not make this..?"

"Of course Dad made it! He's the best at everything! Only he could make something so pretty~"

"Of course it would've been better if someone had given me more time to actually make something new. It'll all dissipate by midnight, but I need to make her new clothes anyway, so if she likes the gold that much, I guess I'll use it more" Shadow Milk was already taking a seat next to the head of the table. He wanted to claim it before anyone else did. And he wanted to eat.

Pure Vanilla followed suit with a smile that Shadow Milk didn't understand the meaning of. He only knew he didn't like it. It made him feel like Vanilla knew something that he didn't.

"If I could have everyone's attention?" Pure Vanilla clinked his spoon against an empty glass, directing the others to take their seats accordingly. "It has been truly wonderful catching up with all of you again, and it makes my heart ache that you must all depart so soon, but I know you all have your own duties to attend to. That being said.. a certain spontaneous cookie must have rubbed off on me lately, since I just couldn't bear the thought of seeing you go without doing something truly fun! So please, dine and dance to your heart's content!" His voice dropped it's royal air as he tacked on to the end of his welcome, "and if you would be so kind, I'd prefer to keep the air.. lighthearted."

With that, everyone filled their cups and plates, getting louder with each drink they had. It didn't take long for Hollyberry to pull Dark Cacao from his seat by force and drag him onto the dance floor where he swayed stiffly with Hollyberry's guidance. Golden Cheese and Candy Apple joined in shortly after, eager to spread out their wings. It seemed that they were actually much more interested in flying than dancing, but Shadow Milk was glad Golden Cheese actually seemed to be challenging Candy to keep up. It was good for her to practice every once in a while. Shadow Milk couldn't always be around to simply float her off the ground after all.

"Well, come on then, Nilly! You were the one who insisted on making me come, so you'd better keep me entertained!" Shadow Milk grinned as he held his hand out. Little did Pure Vanilla know, this was yet another scheme of his, although this one was only designed to make his other half laugh. Tears for laughter seemed like a fitting tradeoff to him.

Pure Vanilla had barely taken the offered hand before he was being hoisted in the air with a yelp. He clung onto Shadow Milk's shoulder, and his lower back was braced with Shadow Milk's arm.

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna drop you! And I'll catch you if you fall, promise~"

Shadow Milk leaned in to blow a few hairs out of his dance partner's face with a giggle. He kept the both of them pressed together as closely as he could to keep Pure Vanilla feeling secure, and more importantly to keep him from looking down.

"O-oh dear.. are you sure we can't dance on the ground?"

"Trust me, I've got you! And you have my personal guarantee that you're going to have a way better time up here!"

"If you had let me grab my staff.."

"No need to see when you're dancing! Just trust me! You really think I would lie to you?"

The chortle that followed was music to Shadow Milk's ears.

"You've got to let me be sweet to you tonight! I've got an excuse and everything! First of all, I might be a teeny tiny bit buzzed and I feel bad for uh.. the garden."

"The great and magnificent Shadow Milk feeling bad about something? Now that's a surprise"

"Hey! I am plenty capable of feeling bad about all kinds of things!"

Shadow Milk led them through multiple slow and careful twirls until Pure Vanilla got his footing. Holding his other half through a barrel roll might have been his favorite part of the night if it weren't for the kiss he managed to sneak during a dip. Dancing like this was probably more intoxicating than the actual alcohol. He felt like a drunk man, warm and lighter than air. Slow or fast, as long as he had Pure Vanilla with him, the music didn't matter. He was happy just swaying lazily as the night dragged on. It was a little hard to keep his eyes open when he was so enveloped in this feeing of utter satisfaction. He could hear Candy Apple and Black Sapphire laughing together, safe and sound, and he could feel the beating of a larger pair of wings practically swinging Hollyberry in circles mid-air. Even White Lily's presence only put a very minimal damper on his mood.

Evening became twilight, and twilight became dusk before anyone could notice it. Shadow Milk didn't come down to the ground until what might have been well after midnight judging by the moon's position in the sky.

–––

"I suppose it's time for everyone to get going isn't it?" Pure Vanilla rubbed at his eye with one hand, holding a fast asleep Candy Apple in the other arm.

Black Sapphire might not have been completely asleep, but he was certainly close to it, leaning his cheek on Shadow Milk's shoulder, more than likely wishing it were a pillow instead.

"Yes. We shall be looking forward to your letters on Shadow Milk's path forward and of course the state of your affairs" Dark Cacao was as stoic as ever.

"Goodbyes are my least favorite part of any of our get togethers, but as always, the gates to the Hollyberry Kingdom remain wide open to all of you!"

"As do those of the Golden City, however dilapidated it may be"

With their farewells all in order the three of them were on their ways to grab their things from their rooms and make the treck back to their own kingdoms, leaving only White Lily to stand alone.

"Pure Vanilla Cookie," She began, resting her hand on his arm, dangerously close to Candy Apple. Now would be Pure Vanilla's chance to prove that 'just asking' was actually an effective way to get what you wanted.

"Ah, wait. Before you continue, I'd like to ask that these touches not continue, at least not so frivolously." He guided her hand back down to her side before he continued to rub gentle circles into Candy's back, "Please understand that it does make Shadow Milk rather uncomfortable, and I don't think this is a request too great for me to accommodate."

Shadow Milk couldn't help but press himself ever to slightly closer to Pure Vanilla's side, with a small, almost imperceptible smile.

"But, Pure Vanilla.." She began to reach her hand up again before thinking better of it with a resigned sigh, "Alright. If that's truly what you wish." For some reason, something about her smile didn't look nearly as vile or scheming tonight. "I just wanted to wish you well, and let you know you can always reach me with that summoning spell. If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to write me"

With a nod of her head, she too left, closing the door softly behind her.

"Thankyou" Shadow Milk whispered, barely audible, but there was no doubt Pure Vanilla heard him.

Shadow Milk couldn't seriously believe he was sitting in some cushy, silent therapist's waiting room. Therapy was only something for whiny, fragile cookies who couldn't handle their own emotions. Shadow Milk was perfectly fine. He knew exactly how to handle himself and his power. Trauma was just a big scary word for cookies who cried about every tiny little thing. Talking about his feelings was a waste of time, and therapy was an expensive scam made up so normal people could pay their way to fake happiness. All anyone really needed was a trip to the Garden of Delights.

"Just give it a chance. Valerian Cookie is very good at their job! They've helped me a lot personally, and I have a feeling you'll get along just fine" Pure Vanilla in all of his patience had his hand placed firmly on Shadow Milk's bouncing leg.

"Yeah, sure, and that's why you have a relapse chart with an entire month filled with red x's"

"Need I remind you that was the month that Truthless Recluse spent in the Spire?"

"Yeah. So it's my fault. Basically I'm evil, this is never going to work, and you should just give up and tell me you hate me."

Shadow Milk crossed his arms over his chest with a scowl, but the more time passed, the quicker his heel tapped against the floor. He ground his teeth together until it hurt, and nearly jumped out of his seat when his name was called.

"Valerian Cookie! I'm so glad you had an opening! Shadow Milk is certainly.. a difficult case, but I have hope."

"Aww, you have hope in everything, don'tcha Nilly! Yes, yes, I'm so very difficult to be around! Let's just admit it, you just want to pawn me off for a couple hours!" Shadow Milk floated on his back, looking more bored and irritated with each second, his smile stiff and wide, more to show off his teeth than anything else.

Valerian only readjusted their glasses with a curious look on their face.

"Hm. That may be a good place to start for today." They commented rather mildly as they guided Shadow Milk into their office. Shadow Milk huffed as Pure Vanilla smiled and waved a goodbye that Shadow Milk didn't not return.

"Please take a seat, make yourself comfortable." Valerian's voice was monotone and overall clinical in such a way that made Shadow Milk uncomfortable despite the warm smile they gave him. He complied, however, stretching his body out along the couch, cracking his neck and back in the process, and making sure to kick his feet up on the side table. It make him chuckle to knock the knick-knacks off the wooden surface with a thud, although unfortunately for him, not any sounds of shattering glass.

"I see you're clearly not very excited to be here, but I assure you that anything you say in this room will remain entirely confidential, and although what we discuss may sometimes be uncomfortable, by no means will I make you talk about anything you're not ready for. The being said-"

"Uhuh, yeah, whatever." Shadow Milk cut them off abruptly, lazily checking his nails. "Look, Val was it? Can I call you Val? Oh who am I kidding, I actually don't care what you wanna be called! This is a waste of both of our time! I'm only here because Nilla is THREATENING me! So honestly, why dont I just sit right here, read a book, and you can uh.. I dont know, whatever it is that mortals do to distract themselves from their inevitable deaths" He rolled his eyes, already reaching his arm through a portal for one of the thick textbooks in Pure Vanilla's library.

"He's.. threatening you? Forgive me, but I find that very hard to believe."

"Well you don't live with him, do you?" Shadow Milk only gave half of his attention to Valerian, sliding his fingers along the braille, reading languidly about the advancements in science and technology since he'd been gone. "Ha! I mean really! He seriously thinks he's gonna get through a single night if he kicks me out of his bed! He thinks I'm clingy and lonely, but really! He can't sleep a wink unless he's getting all touchy-feely with me! He's worse than Candy sometimes."

"Candy? Who's that?"

Admittedly, Shadow Milk was already saying far more than he intended to, but as long as the conversation didn't steer towards the emotional, he was content enough to yap if they were really so desperate to hear his answers. As long as he was still reading, he could simply tune them out when he got bored.

"One of my kids. Candy Apple and Black Sapphire. Candy follows me practically everywhere I go when she isn't pestering her brother."

"Can I ask how old they are now?"

Shadow Milk paused, scrunching his nose up in thought. "Ehhh hard to say. I mean, chronologically speaking they're much MUCH older than you or Pure Vanilla, but mentally and physically..? Candy's probabaly anywhere from eight to twelve? Sapphire? Well, at the very least he looks old enough that nobody bats an eye when he drinks so early twenties? Look, I stopped keeping count. They didn't age or grow for several thousand years while I was gone and none of us knew how old they actually were when I took them in."

"So I take it they're adopted?"

"Eh, something like that. Not that the paperwork really existed or mattered back then! Anytime a village caught fire, poof! Orphans all over the place! Those two just happened to wander into my domain!"

"And you mentioned there was a time when you were.. gone?"

Shadow Milk narrowed his eyes and shot them a glare, gripping the sides of the book harder than before.

"I'm not answering that one. Ask Pure Vanilla."

Valerian cleared their throat and nodded, writing something down in a notepad that they shut again as soon as they were done.

"Alright.. then how about this? Back in the lobby you seemed to think Pure Vanilla was only using your time here as an excuse to avoid you. Why's that?"

"Ohh I might have played a little itty bitty prank on him yesterday! I said I was sorry, AND I did his stupid little farewell party, but uhg, he's so emotional! After the kids were asleep, he was all moody again! I tried to cheer him up with a little playtime if you know what I mean, but he said he was 'too tired.' whatever, it's his loss!"

"A prank? What kind of prank?"

"Well I might have pretended to burn his obnoxious little greenhouse and his annoying half-cookie ex-girlfriend"

"That's rather extreme.. is there a reason you did that?"

"Uhg! You've never met that that.. GNAT!" He sat up abruptly, hurling the book somewhere behind his head. "She's infuriating! Had her nasty paws all over my favorite toy! And what does he have an entire greenhouse dedicated to? Lilies. Not milkcrowns, not primroses, nooo of course not! He just needed to be punished and reminded that nobody gets to touch him but me!" With a deep breath and a grunt, the hair lashing angrily behind him calmed down and suddenly its eyes looked downturned. "I might have overdone it a bit though."

"Did you try to simply.. talk to him first? This seems like a big leap in logic"

Shadow Milk huffed, rubbing at the bridge of his nose as he layed back down. "You Vanillians think talking really can solve everything, don't you? He said the same thing and hearing twice doesn't make me believe it any more. Now I love to yap as much as anyone else, but in my experience, that alone doesn't usually get me what I want."

Valerian turned their eyes to the clock. There was a lot to unpack here, but time was running out, so instead they closed their eyes in thought. "How about this, is there anything else you can think of that you want? Something you can ask of someone?"

Shadow Milk propped himself up, facing them with suspicion written all over his features. "Well, I did pull out an old scrapbook recently. It made me want to go visit a friend."

"That's perfect! Why don't you ask Pure Vanilla to go with you? You may find that you'll get a lot further with talk, at least in this day and age. And especially with Pure Vanilla."

Shadow Milk considered it, weighing the pros and cons in his head. Last time he went to the Garden of Delights, he was sure to steal a bushel of those sour berries for Black Sapphire and Candy Apple. He'd planned to take Pure Vanilla there as a ploy, but now that things had turned out this way..? Those berries would come in handy to keep his other half on his toes if he could convince him to go on a small vacation.

"Ha! I'll try, but when was the last time that guy took any time off?"

"That may be true, but I think he may be more willing if he knew how much it meant to you?"

How much it meant to him? Shadow Milk never used to consider anything to mean very much to him, but if he thought about it carefully, he thought could list all the things he might care about. Did Eternal Sugar belong on that list? So far, he knew he cared about Black Sapphire and Candy Apple, that was a given. He must care about Pure Vanilla in some twisted way if he was actually sitting here in a therapist's office. He cared about himself most certainly, but the other beasts? There was a point in time when they were friends, wasn't there? Did that count? All he knew was that he wanted to see her again, especially after he had gotten to meet Hollyberry. Their last meeting wasn't exactly smooth, but this time, he wanted to visit purely as a guest to actually enjoy the garden and her company. Hopefully it was worth a shot.

"Alright, fine. Look, are we done here? I have a headache."

"Yes, our time is up. Will I see you again? Same time next week?"

"Sure, fine, whatever. This wasn't.. terrible." In the blink of an eye, he was gone from the office.

–––

"That was TERRIBLE!" Shadow Milk whined as he descended from nowhere, landing delicately in Pure Vanilla's arms and lap. Whatever paperwork the politician had been focused on could wait. Shadow Milk needed attention desperately to make up for an hour spent in torture. Pure Vanilla laughing at him made his exaggerations fall short, but it didn't matter. "They gave me homework! Can you believe that? Me! The Fount of Knowledge! Homework!"

Pure Vanilla's fingers combing through his hair did more than he cared to admit to sooth his annoyance, a refreshing sprinkling of rain to douse the fire that had been brewing in his heart ever since the ancients showed up. Now that they were gone, he wanted nothing more than to return to their simple routine.

"And what would that be?"

"I have to ask you something"

"Oh?"

"Well apparently setting greenhouses on fire is an 'extreme' way of getting things you want! Im just saying, why change what works? But I digress." Shadow Milk crossed his arms and allowed himself to close his eyes as he sunk into the warm feeling of his lover's embrace. It was moments like these that solidified Pure Vanilla's place on the list of things he cared about.

"And what is it that you want?"

"I wanna take a vacation!"

"A vacation? Not to.. ahem, discredit your position here, but your don't exactly have a job to be taking a vacation from"

"Uhg, see? This is why I do the things I do! I told them you would say no!" Shadow Milk cracked one eye open. It was frustrating to be expected to play so nicely when he could usually just make others cater to his whims. Now he was expected to just accept the possibility of rejection? "Look, getting to see your friends might have been relaxing for you but the rest of us were scared half to death the whole time. I think it's pretty fair if I get to see one of my friends this time. Besides, she's basically like family! As far as I know, you're pretty close with that, what's his name, Custard kid, aren't you? Imagine what it would be like, to be a sad, orphaned child, with no family to speak of! Wouldn't you value anyone who treated you as one of their own? Anyways! That's why you should let us visit Eternal Sugar!" His smirk returned triumphantly as if anything he had said was what actually convinced Pure Vanilla to agree.

"Alright, alright. I supposed a short trip won't kill me, and of all the beasts, she does seem the safest and most agreeable.. You are right afterall. As much as the ancients' presence here was driven initially by business, we did spend much more time simply catching up. It's unfair to expect that you don't also crave friendships like that." Pure Vanilla conceded, "and if what you say is true, she must be like an aunt to the children, no? In that case, I should meet her! We're one step closer to becoming in-laws afterall!" Pure Vanilla chuckled.

It was the kind of sound that made the faithful fall to their knees in worship. A breath of air at such a terrible joke, such presumptuous words, and Shadow Milk wasn't much better than the blindly devoted witch-lovers he usually condemned. He had warned Eternal Sugar against obsessive love hadn't he? But how could he resist it himself when this was what he was working with? He knew all too well the name for this feeling. There's only one emotion to make someone like him feel like such a fool, one that made his heart ache and his Soul Jam glow, spreading warmth in his chest. Vanillians loved words almost as much as he did, but there were three that he had all but forbid himself from saying. He didn't even want to know what kind of gushy expression must be on his face as he bit back the sentiment.

Shadow Milk's Soul Jam glowing wasn't exactly strange. It didn't happen often, but it did trouble him initially when they first started staying in the castle, so he recognized the light for what it was. What was strange was a similar light was hitting his eyes. Stronger and brighter, but unmistakable. Pure Vanilla's Soul Jam was glistening in reply. Both of them stayed almost completely still at the realization, afraid they might disrupt the peace the Soul Jams had found.

"Huh.. well, I did say I'd show you what else the Soul Jams are good for." Shadow Milk broke the silence with a joke in reply, but his face was full of awe and wonder rather than humor.

"Well this is.. new." Pure Vanilla couldn't see much, but what he could see better than anything else was light. His eyes had slid open and he watched the way the light reflected off the palm of his hand, shifting it back and forth gently. "It's very warm," he observed.

Shadow Milk had sat himself up more fully, examining the gem, tilting its golden casing upward with a sense of reverence and curiosity. He was careful not to touch it directly given that Pure Vanilla's office wasn't usually as private as his bedroom was, with people walking in every few hours to ask him things or give him reports, but the draw wasn't easy to ignore. With both of them glowing in sync, he couldn't help but imagine what it would be like to join them like they once had.

"I wanna try something, but only if you're okay with it. I don't know exactly what this is gonna do.." Shadow Milk knitted his eyebrows together, considering his theory carefully.

"Alright.." Pure Vanilla sounded hesitant, to say the least, "I have to admit it's a bit unnerving when you actually ask for my consent in these situations. Usually it means you're scared"

Shadow Milk gave him an unamused, deadpan stare. "Am not," he grumbled sounding nearly childish, "we did this once, briefly. Back in the Spire. If I could study it a bit more.." his voice trailed off as he situated himself in Pure Vanilla's lap, straddling his legs as he rose until their Soul Jams lined up. There was a slow precision with which he inched closer. It seemed that as the distance closed, the warmth spread and the light became brighter until it was almost blinding. With a clinking sound, the brooches finally met.

He couldn't describe exactly what he felt in that moment. It might have been more accurate to say that he was actually feeling what Pure Vanilla felt. Possibly both. It was hazy, but it felt safe, warm. In his vision, golds and blues danced together, eyes opened and shut, and somewhere in the distance he could hear two separate hearts beating together in the same rhythm. If he focused he could move his physical body and he could make out the shapes and colors of the outside world, but the warmth drew him into a state of calming bliss. It was almost overwhelming. He felt like he was walking in the dark despite how bright his surroundings were. Fear lingered in the shadows, threatening to tug him down into their depths, sadness and loneliness pooled around him like an endless sea, but amidst it all, light, joyful and kind shined down on him, allowing him to bask in it even if he was deep under water. He reached out toward it despite the dark tendrils that circled around his limbs. A hand met his own, dragging him from the abyss with all its might, but only managing so far as to let half of his body rest on the shore. Even that felt like it had taken too much work, letting both figures rest on the grains of sand, falling into a restful sleep.

When he opened his eyes again, the moon was high in the sky. Shadow Milk felt simultaneously tired and well-rested. He pushed himself off of Pure Vanilla's chest with a groan. An office chair was not a very comfortable place to sleep. The pressure and movement made Pure Vanilla stir from his own slumber, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. In slow shuffles, supporting each other's sides, they made their way into bed, not bothering to take off their clothes.

"Intense.." Pure Vanilla mused, laying on his back, his fingers intertwined with Shadow Milk's beside him.

"I kinda liked it" Shadow Milk smiled.

"I think I like it a lot," Pure Vanilla squeezed his hand.

Three words that Shadow Milk wanted desperately to say. They hung in the back of his throat, unable to break free, standing on the precipice.

"Doesn't matter what you're wearing as long as its comfortable, c'mon, out, let's go!" Shadow Milk hollered, flitting through the wall between the children's rooms. He had gotten Pure Vanilla to agree to three days in paradise, and he didn't want to waste a single second. The two sleepy and confused cookies shuffled out of their rooms, still wearing their pajamas, as Shadow Milk beckoned them outside, practically pushing them out the front door. Pure Vanilla was already waiting looking disheveled himself. The sun had barely begun to rise over the kingdom, casting orange rays across the lawn.

"I appreciate your enthusiasm, darling, but it is incredibly early" Pure Vanilla yawned.

"Well, yeah, it's early in Crispia, but it's already noon in Beast-Yeast! To be fair, knowing her, she actually will probably still be sleeping, but whatever. She'll perk right up when she sees moi!" Shadow Milk clawed a portal into existence, ushering Candy Apple and Black Sapphire in ahead of him before taking Pure Vanilla's hand. "You're gonna love it, trust me! You basically can't hate it. But uh, you know, there's always a back up plan if the scents make you a bit loopy." He jostled the basket full of dark blue berries that hung from his other arm with a grin. He'd certainly knock Pure Vanilla out of it when they planned to leave, but he couldn't deny the thrill it gave him to imagine his perfect doll in such a pliable state of mind.

They walked through together, both of them meeting a rather unfamiliar atmosphere. The Garden had always been beautiful in its own grotesque way, but this was something to be marveled at, like it had been rebuilt from the ground up. The marbel columns which had once been in crumbling disrepair now shone like gold. The trees and flower bushes were each trimmed meticulously into statues of hearts, wings, Eternal Sugar herself, and of course Hollyberry, among other similarly sweet images. The waters were clearer than they had ever been, and he was almost certain that if he were to look straight down he'd be able to see to the bottom.

"Witches! She's really cleaned up around here.." Shadow Milk wandered forward, letting Pure Vanilla's hand fall as he took in the sight.

"Last time we were here this place was basically falling apart." Black Sapphire commented, equally amazed. Candy corroborated the statement, running to one of the grape-colored pools and staring at her reflection in awe. The teeth and eyeballs that used to float there seemed to have disappeared. How disappointing. That was one of Shadow Milk's favorite features.

"Oh? What's this I spy? A pack of wolves seems to have brought me a gift. What a majestic ram you've offered me~"

Shadow Milk whipped around at the sound of her voice. Her pink fingertips danced along the lower edge of Pure Vanilla's wings, brushing the feathers ever so slightly. The apprehension on Pure Vanilla's face was clear as day. He seemed almost frozen in place.

"Quit messing with him! That one's mine, I'll have you know!" Shadow Milk batted her hands away, twirling his other half around so that Shadow Milk stood between him and Eternal Sugar.

"You misunderstand! My heart only beats for my beloved Hollyberry Cookie!" She flicked her tail, laying on her side upon her fluffy cloud. "I'm sure you've noticed all the changes! I'm keeping my garden exactly how she likes it until my darling returns! She may have left once, but I'm certain that next time she'll never want to leave!" She sat up a bit more looking past Shadow Milk at the two siblings frolicking in the grass."Oh Candy Apple Cookie!~ Over here dear!"

Candy shot up with a start, nearly tripping over her own feet. Her wings flapped as she squealed, her eyes wide in pure delight.

"Auntie!! I want to ride on your cloud!!"

"Why of course dear! Whatever your heart desires!" Eternal Sugar in an abnormal departure from her usual slothful nature actually physically leaned down to haul Candy Apple into her lap. Her arms circled her waist carefully, over-aware of the possibility that the smaller cookie might fall even from such a short distance of the ground. "My, you've gotten.. bigger. However did that happen?" Her question was pointed directly at Shadow Milk rather than Candy to which it pertained.

"We haven't really been in the Spire lately." He dismissed the question off-handedly, though Eternal Sugar had never been good at taking his hints.

"Not so stifling to be with your other half anymore I take it?" Her eyes narrowed as her voice took on an uncharacteristically sharp edge, referencing their last encounter. "Why are you here, Blue? As much as the presence of these little ones is appreciated.. yours tends to put a damper on the other inhabitants"

"Relax! I'm only here on vacation, promise! I swear, no crumbling or pranks this time! Would I ever lie to you?" He giggled at his own joke, making a cross with his fingers over his heart. "But really, you would not believe how dull the Vanilla Kingdom is! I need a break, Sweets! As entertaining as my little daffodil here is, he's also the bane of my existence" He pinched at Pure Vanilla's cheek with a chuckle.

"Ahem, Eternal Sugar Cookie, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance." Pure Vanilla's staff illuminated her, roving over her figure to paint a picture for him, "I am Pure Vanilla Cookie, the holder of the Soul Jam of Truth and Shadow Milk's other half, as you put it."

She eyed him up and down, tilting her head with a hum. "Hmm..A little thin for my tastes, but as long as he makes you happy, I suppose it doesn't matter!"

"Eh.. You should know by now that the only thing that makes me happy is sleep. Say, where are those jam jars, huh? Last time I checked, those were pretty popular! And I'm their biggest fan!"

"Oh no no no! Hollyberry simply hated those! Why I got rid of them as soon as she left! Apparently the cookies inside weren't so pleased either. I can't imagine why! Sleep should have calmed their spirits and the jam was only supposed to bring them the most pleasant of dreams, but they all claimed to be missing their friends or family. So, as much as it pained me to see them go, many of my guests have gone home"

"What..? You're just.. letting people leave whenever they want to now?" Shadow Milk's grip tightened where his hands rested on Pure Vanilla's shoulders.

"Well it sounds absolutely impossible to me, but they're just so much happier! Some of them have come back to visit, and there are still many who call this place home! Hollyberry taught me that some apparently prefer to pursue happiness through work. It gives them a sense of accomplishment. She said that the suffering in the world makes joy taste so much sweeter! I'm not completely sure how, but I've been trying my hand at this whole work thing and I have to admit it does give me an odd sense of.. elation!" Her wings spread out happily behind her, two drastically different pairs working in sync.

"... right."

Pure Vanilla's hand found purchase on Shadow Milk's waist. It was surprisingly comforting, though he didn't understand what he needed comfort from. Sugar was doing what she had always done. She was the Bringer of Happiness afterall! He supposed it was only natural that people in the modern day had more complex ways of finding fulfillment. Even so, the change wasn't welcomed. He understood it logically. Physical fitness did indeed increase serotonin and dopamine levels, and he knew first hand that the adrenaline high pain produced could be addictive, but to hear that anyone was actively unhappy even when all their needs were met was almost absurd. They had delicious food, plenty of water, they could sleep or play whenever they wanted, and sexual ecstasy wasn't difficult to get either. What could they possibly be missing?

"I guess that's why the fog has lifted, huh? No more mind-altering powders the air? That's a little disappointing, but at least I don't have to carry these around anymore!" He handed off the basket of sour berries to her. "What else is there then? Come on! I came here for some of that Garden of Delight type of bliss! How about a couples massage? A hot spring? A feast? Oh, definitely a private room! I wouldn't want to be eavesdropping on us if I were you" The way Pure Vanilla stiffened made his chest swell with pride.

"I can certainly accommodate all of those requests, but I think there's something else that might bring you even more peace of mind~"

Shadow Milk didn't like the look in her eye. She was up to something, he just couldn't pin down what she was getting at.

"Go and enjoy yourself, Blue. I'll take care of these little pups for you" she floated past him, placing a sugary sweet kiss on his cheek, taking Candy with her and presumably going off to find where Black Sapphire had gone.

It wasn't exactly strange for her to kiss her patrons on the cheek. It was just her way of greeting people. But this time, something was most definitely wrong. There was a tingling sensation on his skin that he couldn't shake.

"She.. she cast a spell on me!" He turned around to look for her, but she had already disappeared into the Garden somewhere.

"Hm? Are you sure? Can't you just unravel it?" Pure Vanilla tilted his head to one side.

"Uhg! No, I can't!" He rubbed at his cheek, trying and failing to get rid of whatever enchantment she had decided to use on him. "Beast magic is.. fickle. It's hard for any of us to just un-do another one's spells. We're all pretty equal in terms of power. We probabaly would've destroyed each other if we weren't."

"I see.. then, do you know what she cast?"

Shadow Milk groaned, swiping his hand down his face. "I guess we'll just have to wait and find out. In her defense, I did mess around with her head a bit last time I was here, so now we're even"

–––

"And here we are! Nice, luxurious, warm waters! It does wonders for your skin" Shadow Milk poked Pure Vanilla with grin.

The hot springs, at least, had remained mostly unchanged. Steam rose gently into the leaves overhead, cacooning them in warmth. Maybe it wasn't such a terrible thing that people had started leaving the Garden. Afterall, these springs were usually bustling, but now, they were all but empty. Private. Comfortable.

"Take that robe off! And the dumb hat, c'mon, I've been dying to show you this place." He made quick work of their clothes, undressing both himself and Pure Vanilla until both men were left completely nude, although the steam cascading from the pool's surface made it difficult to see anything below. It truly was a miracle that so few people were left in the gardens. No prying eyes on the tanned skin Shadow Milk had rightfully claimed. He was in a good mood. A wonderful mood, to be exact, perhaps nearing blissful. It was enough that he found himself sitting of his partner's lap, shamelessly cuddling into his neck with something akin to a purr bubbling up from his throat.

"My, bluebird, I've never seen you quite this affectionate. Are you sure you're feeling alright? The heat isn't getting to you?" Pure Vanilla's fingers trailed along Shadow Milk's neck, pulling long, wet strands of hair away from the thin skin hoping to give him some level of relief.

Shadow Milk shook his head, but not a single cell in his body could resist from leaning into Pure Vanilla's touch, whining absently until those lithe hands returned to caress every inch of his form. Of course, Shadow Milk returned the gesture. No claws, no teasing, just simple, gentle, loving touches. Love. Under these circumstances the word seemed far less daunting. In fact, they spilled forth from his lips without so much as a second thought.

"Nilly~"

"Yes, dear?"

"I love you~"

The moment the phrase left his mouth he jolted backwards as if he truly had burned himself. It had come too naturally. Too smooth, like his tounge had been coated in honey. The pair blinked in unison. Shock, confusion, annoyance. Complete and utter disgust on Shadow Milk's part. It was now beyond obvious to both of them exactly what kind of charm Eternal Sugar had used.

Hair that had previously been floating on the surface of the spring now bubbled to life. The once handsome, blue face contorted until it didn't even really look like a face at all. It appeared to be a mask cast in an uncanny smile, pupils darting around in response to each tiny noise. Nobody ever dared to play tricks like that on the Beast of Deceit, and was precisely because he was very good at hunting his prey. He even had an advantage. Pink didn't happen to be a very good color for camouflage. The beautifully trimmed grass and the flower petals that adorned it crumbling under his claws, sending a small cascade of dirt tumbling to the bottom of the hot spring. If Sugar wanted to use a truth spell on him, she would find out first hand the truth of how hot his anger boiled in his chest. He wondered for a moment if this was how Spice felt. He understood the appeal. It was exhilarating to let go so completely, to have your emotions let loose in their entirety.

Of course, those soothing fingers didn't leave his waist either. He wanted to be angry, but he wasn't. Not at Pure Vanilla. Never at Pure Vanilla. His body only wanted to give up and melt into his other half, especially when he realized the lightshow that came from his Soul Jam with every flare of unadulterated emotion. The brooches sat just inches away from his finger tips. They sat not even an inch away from each other, their casings nestled against each other.

He was still angry. It wasn't her right to stage something like this, but even so, his features returned to normal with each heave of his chest. The truth was vulnerable. Painful. It hurt people, and thats why he had forsaken it all those years ago.

"I'm.. sorry. You probably didn't want that to come out this way.. but for the record, I feel the same."

"Pff, yeah right. The kind and benevolent Pure Vanilla Cookie! In love with a thing like me! You hate me! That's the truth!"

"No. I do not hate you. If you don't believe me, there's nothing stopping you from casting a similar spell."

Shadow Milk growled at the thought. Forcing the bearer of the Light of Truth not to tell a lie? It was completely ridiculous.

"No," he wanted to leave it at that but the charm compelled him to say more, "I can't handle the truth." He bit at his lips, gnawing away at the flesh to keep it from betraying him any further.

"You seem to handle me just fine" Pure Vanilla remarked.

"Hah! You're the biggest liar of them all!" He had finally settled back into position, sat sideways on Pure Vanilla's legs with his cheek pressed to the other's neck. It was funny. This heart wasnt real, a constuct being puppeted around by his soul and magic, and yet it beat anyway, pumping blood through his veins at a rate faster than average. "You're a big coward. You're scared of me. I can see it. You get pale. Your heart flutters. You look like a rabbit." His teeth grazed his partner's pulse in a wicked grin, but his eyes were warm and wet.

"... yes. I am afraid of you at times. But.. that doesn't mean I don't love and care for you. Even when I am afraid as when I am upset, my love for you does not falter. You are often afraid too. Of yourself, of me, of my friends, and yet you stay here with me despite it all."

Shadow Milk didn't know what to say. He just closed his eyes and stayed still for a long while, mulling it over.

"Alright. Have it your way, Nilla. You shouldn't get too used to hearing me say it though. I'm tired! Sugar said she has a room for us. Uhg. Not that I want to look at her traitorous face."

Sugar's face was disgusting. Beautifully disgusting. How dare she! What was in it for her, huh? What right did she have to cast spells on him of all people? And yet here he was, staring her down, barely keeping his face in tact. In fact, it kind of wasnt in tact. The bones under skin jostled and chattered, threatening a hideous transformation. It was her fault anyways, so she had no right to complain if his features shifted to and fro with his irritation.

"My, Blue! Whatever could be troubling you so! I haven't seen you this upset since.." Eternal Sugar's voice dripped like honey, but it fell on deaf ears. Even with Pure Vanilla's hand gripped tightly in his own, Shadow Milk couldn't seem to channel any ounce of patience.

"My, I do certainly wonder!" Shadow Milk began, floating ever so slightly higher, as if his elevation level could somehow establish any amount of dominance over her within her own domain "What the HELL were you thinking! A truth charm? On me!" His voice was animalistic, hissing and howling catching at the back of throat and echoing in every work he spoke.

"Hmm.. I thought you would be happy my dearest.." Sugar's pout didn't gain her any sympathy points. "I could just feel the anguish radiating off of you! Tip toeing around your feelings as you do.. I simply had to do something!"

The coulds she hugged turned a stormy gray color as her eyes watered, though Shadow Milk couldn't tell if she was truly apologetic, especially since the point of her tail showed a snake's head that hissed back at him and her wings had puffed up. Even her hands seemed slightly more bird-like.

"Oh my.. fighting in front of the children like this! I can't believe we've stooped so very far!" Her voiced dragged out each syllable as it usually did, but instead of being comforting like usual, all it did was grate on Shadow Milk's senses.

"If I may?" Pure Vanilla spoke up, one hand on his staff and the other letting go of Shadow Milk so that he could step forward.

Both beasts' heads snapped toward him. In that moment all Pure Vanilla's presence really did was make sure the tension in the air boiled even hotter. On Eternal Sugar's part, Pure Vanilla was an outsider. He shouldn't be involved in a beastly dispute. To Shadow Milk, Pure Vanilla's involvement in his spats was all too common, and it was starting to get on his nerves.

"Eternal Sugar. Apologies are in order. To both of us. I do understand that this is your home, and as such it's only natural that you.." Pure Vanilla paused for a moment to pick the right words, "attempt to be a good hostess. If I understand your history correctly, I know it is in your nature to want the best for those you care about, however.. this was.."

Pure Vanilla put one hand over his chest. Shadow Milk hadn't realized it before, but his eyes were wide open. And they were wet. His face was flushed and the wings on his ears trembled as much as his fingers. Shadow Milk didn't know what to do. Pure Vanilla was rarely this upset.

"I certainly feel as though.." Pure Vanilla's voice was thick and wavering, "you've.. taken a moment that should have been ours alone to enjoy.." With his piece said, he let go of the breath he was holding and his shoulders slumped in defeat.

The sight had the jester's bone melting back into place, possibly even into something softer than usual. He felt small and useless. No amount of anger could change how things had turned out. His feet slowly met the ground and he turned his face to the side, avoiding eye contact with either Pure Vanilla or Eternal Sugar.

"I'm.. sorry." Her voice sounded surprised but firm. No theatrics or fakeness. Just a genuine, albeit incomplete apology.

When Shadow Milk finally glanced back in her direction, she too had stood up. Between the two of them, it felt like a gesture of.. respect. They were on equal footing. Shadow Milk sighed in resignation and took a step towards her. It was awkward at first. He wasn't the kind of person to initiate physical contact. But his arms circled loosely around her waist, careful not to crush her delicate wings. Even with the ridiculous heels he wore, his chin still rested on her shoulder. He didn't dare to breath until he felt her return the gesture, her feathers and arms both pulling him close into a somber cacoon. Her fingers brushed through his hair gently and her chin rested on the top of his head.

"Oh, Blue.. I'm still doing this wrong, aren't I? I just want everyone to be happy.." She spoke softly.

"You cannot make others happy." Pure Vanilla's voice was muffled by Sugar's wings until she stretched one out toward him, allowing him to stoop into their little cave of warmth. "Happiness is something cookies can only find for themselves. There are ways you can help, but.. if you put too much pressure on yourself, I've found that you'll do the exact opposite."

That was Pure Vanilla for you. Eternally wise and well-spoken, though his cheeks still looked flushed. It was a detail only Shadow Milk would notice. As forgiving as Pure Vanilla was, he was still upset.

Eternal Sugar hummed thoughtfully in reply, looking up to the sky with a far away glint in her eyes. Then, she stretched out her wings with a sigh, releasing the two men from her embrace.

"You two must be tired." Her simple, lazy smile had returned, even if it was accompanied but eyes that were much more contemplative.

–––

The room Sugar had brought them to had a certain luxury that even the Vanilla castle couldn't compare to. The bed in the center of the room was large and circular like a nest of comfort, and the sheets were spun from fine silk. Woolen blankets were piled on top, soft and warm. The lighting only added to the calm atmosphere, flickering and warm like a flame.

The whole magic ordeal had worn him out, so much so that he would've missed the tiny, pink pouch on his pillow if not for the fact that it was extremely uncomfortable to lay his head on.

"It that.. a gift?" Pure Vanilla questioned, sitting on the edge of the bed, already in his nightclothes.

Shadow Milk didn't respond right away, examining the label attached, "I hope this will bring you pleasant dreams," He read aloud. As he pulled the draw strings open, a look of realization dawning on his face before a shit-eating grin. "Hoooly shit! Nilly, this is the good stuff!" He held the powder-filled package up to Pure Vanilla's face in sheer excitement.

"What is it?" Pure Vanilla tilted his head to the side, dipping a single finger into the fine, glittering powder.

"Woah! Careful there! Don't breath in too much." Shadow Milk pulled it bag, careful not to spill any.

Pure Vanilla looked even more confused than before. It was amusing in a way, but Shadow Milk only deadpanned a flat expression, "It's drugs, Nilla."

"Oh! Oh my." Pure Vanilla shook his finger a bit, unsure of what to do, "Should I.. wash this off, or..?"

Shadow Milk couldn't help but grin, sharp teeth on full display, playful, yet predatory. "Welll you certainly could do that, but if you want to have a little fun~" He practically sang as he trailed off, biting his lip in anticipation.

"What kind of effects does it have?"

The question caught Shadow Milk off guard. He had fully expected Pure Vanilla to decline the offer entirely. He straighted up a bit and sat next to his partner, brushing their shoulders together, now alert.

"Woof! That's a loaded question. It's a little different for everyone, but its mostly just really relaxing. Makes me reeealy horny though, so if you plan on getting any sleep tonight, you shouldn't tempt me!" He leaned back against the pillows with his tongue stuck out teasingly.

"Hmm.." Shadow Milk could practically see the gears turning in Pure Vanilla's head as he mulled it over. "How long does it last?"

"Few hours give or take," Shadow Milk shrugged.

"I suppose.. I wouldn't be opposed to trying it."

Shadow Milk raised an eyebrow. "Uhh, you sure about that? You can't really change your mind once you take it."

"I'm well aware, dear"

"Well, color me surprised~" Shadow Milk leaned in close with a pleased purr. "All you have to do is take a big whiff! Like smelling salts." He took the bag and did exactly that, breathing in deeply through his nose before passing it off to Pure Vanilla who mirrored the same action.

They layed comfortably side by side as they waited for it to kick in, Shadow Milk's head resting lightly on Pure Vanilla's shoulder. The silence between them didn't carry any awkwardness or tension. In fact, it was more of a welcomed blanket after a long day.

Slowly but surely, Shadow Milk could feel his mind and body start to become fuzzy. If Pure Vanilla's fluttering lashes were anything to go by, he was feeling the effects too.

"This certainly feels.. different" Pure Vanilla's fingers traveled across his own face languidly and his chest rose and fell heavily.

"Different good or different bad?" Shadow Milk pressed his cheek against Pure Vanilla's, practically crawling on top of him. His eyes glazed over with something blissfully sleepy. His nose found Pure Vanilla's neck and huffed the warm scent without really thinking about it.

"Good, I think," Pure Vanilla's smile made Shadow Milk salivate and the feeling of his arms around his waist wasnt helping.

Shadow Milk felt hungry in a way. His mouth was already on the soft skin of Pure Vanilla's neck, sucking and licking at the sweetness. The sound of Pure Vanilla's sighs, his lips parting, and the ruffling of those little wings.. it made Shadow Milk's heart skip a beat. He wanted to engrave the sight into his memory. His palms held Pure Vanilla's face, pulling him into a slow, sloppy kiss as he sat in his other half's lap.

Pure Vanilla's hands found purchase on Shadow Milk's hips, holding him steadily, gently, squeezing ever so slightly. Shadow Milk's face felt hot, and he pressed his forhead against his partner's as though to share the feeling. Their gazes locked with a strange intensity. This was more than simple lust. This was the kind of high that not even drugs could induce, though Shadow Milk didn't know if he was ready to admit that truth to himself.

The atmosphere buzzed. It seemed like the world had stopped just for them. For a long while they sat still, simply staring at each other. Shadow Milk wondered just how much Pure Vanilla could make out with his hazy vision. As soon as the though crossed his mind, he slid one hand over Pure Vanilla's eyes, removing what little sight the healer had.

"Bluebird?" Pure Vanilla's voice came out with a confused chuckle.

"You're staring!"

Pure Vanilla raised his left hand to guid Shadow Milk's away from his eyes and toward his mouth instead, kissing his palm with all the adoration of someone worshipping a god. Worship, praise, Shadow Milk had experienced these thing before, but when Pure Vanilla did it, it just clicked. It felt right. His gaze drifted to Pure Vanilla's fingers. His thoughts drifted for a moment, wondering if maybe someday his ring finger..

"Stop doing that!" Shadow Milk turned his head away, gulping down air he didn't even realize he was deprived of.

"I'm not doing anything!" Pure Vanilla laughed back.

"Just close your eyes! I cant enjoy myself when you're looking at me like that!"

"Like what? Isn't this how I always look?"

"Like.. like you.." Shadow Milk bit his tongue. "Like you want me."

Want wasnt the right word. Pure Vanilla looked like he loved him. But he couldn't get the word to roll from his tongue, certainly not like it had earlier under the influence of magic. It was too commital.

"I see.." Pure Vanilla closed his eyes slowly and leaned back, giving Shadow Milk more room to breath.

He appreciated it. This felt less suffocating. He felt more in control, straddling his lover and looking down at him. He felt like he could breath easier even if there was a tiny ache inside him that hated how easily Pure Vanilla had given up. He cleared his throat and with it his mind, trying to set himself back into the right headspace.

"Well then~ let's have some fun, huh?~" Shadow Milk purred, pushing up Pure Vanilla's night gown just enough to rub at his clothed groin. Usually he loved seeing Pure Vanilla at his mercy, but something wasn't as satisfying as it could've been. There was no warmth. His hands stopped rather abruptly.

"Is everything alright?" Pure Vanilla reached a gentle hand to Shadow Milk's waist in concern.

"Im fine" Shadow Milk couldn't even convince himself. He ran a hand through his hair and tried to grin again, but his smile felt wrong, like his teeth didnt fit in his own mouth. He looked his partner up and down, trying to puzzle out what was so different, but he gave up when he caught sight of the glittering blue gem still attached to Pure Vanilla's chest. It had been a while since Shadow Milk properly utilized his Soul Jam.

He grabbed Pure Vanilla's hand from his waist and instead guided his fingers to caress the smooth surface of the smaller of the pair of gems. The reaction it elicited was much better than expected. He let his head fall backwards with a low groan of satisfaction as the warmth soaked into his soul.

"I-Is this alright..? This pace?" Pure Vanilla was attentive as always. Truly Shadow Milk didn't care. Pure Vanilla's every intention was written all over his face, and the Soul Jem could feel it. It was soft, yet overwhelming. Pleasurable to the point of trembling on Shadow Milk's part.

"Keep.. going.." Shadow Milk croaked out, bracing himself with his arms behind him, gripping tightly onto Pure Vanilla's legs for support.

The more Pure Vanilla worked his fingers over the Soul Jam, the less gem-like it became. In fact, it seemed to warm up under his touch, a gooey, blue liquid dripping onto his fingers as it let him inside. Finally Shadow Milk could feel the same warmth spreading between his legs. It caught him off-guard when Pure Vanilla's tongue join his fingers, causing him to yelp before melting into the feeling. His breath came in short gasps, and he rutted against Pure Vanilla's lap. The sight of Pure Vanilla's tongue thick with the viscous blue of Shadow Milk's very own soul made him.. emotional. He Held Pure Vanilla's head to his chest, gripping at the golden locks of hair, his eyes watering. There were so many thing he wanted to say, but it was impossible.

He let his own hand find Pure Vanilla's matching Soul Jam. This time, his goal wasn't to steal it back or tease him. It wasn't even really sexual. He needed Pure Vanilla to understand. To witness the turmoil that brewed under his skin. And so he was gentle, kind, holding Pure Vanilla's soul in his palm, pressing warmth into it with all the intensity he could muster until Pure Vanilla's motions stopped, and Shadow Milk could hear him mutter something through heavy breaths.

"My Bluebird.." Pure Vanilla wrapped his arms around the still teary-eyed Shadow Milk, flipped them around so that Shadow Milk lay underneath the larger man. "You are so much more loved than you cpuld ever imagine.."

And then, it happened again. Pure Vanilla lowered his chest down to meet with Shadow Milk's, the two Soul Jams in their pliable state seeming to melt and meld into each other. Shadow Milk could swear he could see fireworks behind his eyelids. Blues and golds, glowing eyes, and flowing fabrics. In this instant, they were one. Two halves of a whole meeting in the middle in such a way that brought tears to both of their eyes. It was an out of body experience, overwhelming in all the beautiful ways it had been before. Shadow Milk couldn't handle the truth, but this conjoined version of himself might be able to begin understanding it.

The next time Shadow Milk opened his eyes and felt truly like himself, his cheeks were crusted with dried tears. He rolled onto his side to see that Pure Vanilla's were the same. He scooted close, holding him tightly at the waist, resting his head on his chest, lulled into calmness by the sound of his heart beat.

CHAPTER 1: Houseguests

Friend. Is that what Pure Vanilla wanted? What an inconceivable concept. The definition for such a word was so vague and complex that Pure Vanilla could never even know what a friend really is. Even so, Shadow Milk couldn't rid the thought from his mind.

In his defense, the past week had been spent floating aimlessly in his other realm and the only real distractions that existed there were Black Sapphire and Candy Apple whose presence only annoyed him right now. Other than talking to them, the only thing to do was think.

What exactly happened in the Spire? That bright light that had surrounded Pure Vanilla Cookie. It was blinding. With a shiny new look to top it off. All Shadow Milk could do was growl as he bit at his claw-like nails.

"Ahem.. Master Shadow Milk Cookie"

A smooth voice broke the silence that had persisted for what Shadow Milk assumed had been hours by then.

"Surely the Spire should be safe to return to by now? Even if you're still recovering, Candy and I have been doing some reconnaissance and we haven't located any signs of cookies anywhere"

The only reply Black Sapphire recieved was a noncommittal hum before Shadow Milk turned his back on him and ripped a hole into the inky black void that surrounded them. The light of the outside world was almost painful after so long spent in the other realm and all of the eyes nestled in his hair squinted at the familiar sight. Home.

With a stretch and a sigh, Shadow Milk used a rope of his magic to lasso his minions together before he took a plunge out of the portal, falling from the sky with the bat cookies trailing behind. Any ordinary cookie would have panicked, but Candy Apple's squeals were out of absolute delight instead of fear.

"I suppose it's about time we start working on a new plan!"

It seemed to be the first time Shadow Milk had grinned since his defeat. If nothing else, his companions did prove humorous from time to time. With a flick of his wrist he released the bat siblings from his grasp and watched as the fluttered back down to solid ground with Shadow Milk following suit.

----

Exactly how the deceitful trio had ended up in the swalls of the sickeningly sweet Vanilla Kingdom was admittedly somewhat fuzzy. There had been a lot of discussion and since clearly brute strength was no longer an option with Pure Vanilla's new 'upgrade', their next best option was some kind of emotional manipulation. If trust could be established it would be significantly easier to simply snag Pure Vanilla's Soul Jam directly from his chest in his sleep.

Thus, Shadow Milk, Candy Apple, and Black Sapphire had snuck their way into Pure Vanilla's bedchambers. It wasn't too terribly difficult to pick out which room would be fit for a king, especially with the suffocating smell of vanilla and lilies. The first thing Shadow Milk had done was to crush the poor, white petals to a fine powder. Much better.

He lay on the bed and wait while Candy Apple did her own redecorating, knocking any items over that she assumed Shadow Milk didn't like. Even after his long retreat in the other realm, Shadow Milk was still weakened from his original spat with Pure Vanilla, so a portal across continents had certainly tired him out. If he had any more energy, he might have told her to stop just so he wouldn't have to trouble himself with fixing it all later, but who was he to deny her some good fun?

They didn't have to wait long before their (rather her) antics had apparently drawn the attention of Pure Vanilla who no doubt believed that some bird had flown into his room. In a way, Shadow Milk supposed that might not be a complete lie. At least two of the cookies in the room had wings.

The only thing that amused Shadow Milk more than Candy Apple's excitement was the momentary look of shock and horror that plastered itself on Pure Vanilla's face. Shadow Milk didn't even bother to get up and greet him properly.

"Nilly~ ! Funny meeting me here huh? Say, this thing is pretty comfy! Where can I get my own huh? Every good host provides the upmost amenities to his guests! Wouldn't you agree?"

Shadow Milk couldn't help but purr with a satisfied smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. He didn't miss the way Pure Vanilla's grip tightened on his staff, but what was more interesting was how he steeled his face after the initial shock

"My.. guests?"

"Well duh! That's what I said! I know you got those new feathery things on your ears now but I hope they still work because we both know you can't rely on your eyes! We've got two actual bats in the room with us and you're still the blindest one here!"

Apparently, Vanilla didn't find this joke funny. Shadow Milk could tell from the way his jaw tightened and the prolonged silence that followed. Shadow Milk finally dragged himself up from the bed with a dramatic groan and floated to where the Ancient stood.

"Do I really need to spell it out for you? This was your idea after all! Don't you remember, friend? I'll admit it! You were right!"

He twisted around in the air in a theatric fainting motion

"It gets awfully lonely in my Spire! I am simply a single father looking for companionship!"

That was when Black Sapphire and Candy Apple spoke up.

"A father? I hardly think you qualify as our father figure," Sapphire scoffed.

"Oh Master Shadow Milk Cookie! I just knew we were like a big family!"

Candy Apple's input was much more appreciated even if the idea of family made Shadow Milk scowl. His attention immediately snapped to Black Sapphire who simply fiddled with his microphone.

"Well excuse me! I quite remember teaching a certain set of siblings how to fly and read and write! I even stayed up at night with your sister when she was freshly baked! Oh you think she's loud now, you don't even know how she cried and cried and cried when she was a baby!"

The familial tension broke when a tiny laugh sounded from the doorway. Pure Vanilla had that stupid look on his face again. His smile was wide and genuine as he laughed at the situation. His useless, milky eyes had ever slitted open seemingly to take in the blurs of colors he was laughing at.

---

As much as Shadow Milk resented being laughed at so openly, it did appear to be his ticket into Pure Vanilla's personal itinerary as he was shortly after shown to a moderately sized room by a very discreet set of select castle staff. Candy Apple and Black Sapphire were also provided rooms next to his. Even if they did have to stay in such a revolting place, at the very least they would never be too far from one another.

"I must say, this is.. quite surprising."

"Oh? What? I thought you'd miss me~" Shadow Milk feigned a pout "I did an awful lot of reflection since last time, trust me! A week in the other realm can be dreadfully boring if you aren't used to holding a conversation with yourself!"

"Is that so?"

There was something on Pure Vanilla's face that Shadow Milk didn't like the look of. A flicker of hope. Disgusting. But, it did mean he was apparently playing his role well. Even so, he tore his eyes away from Pure Vanilla's face and focused on the new wing-like appendages that had sprouted behind his ears after his awakening. He couldn't help but groan at the state they were in. It looked as though he hadn't preened them at all since they had appeared. Shadow Milk was willing to bet money on the fact that he hadn't even tried.

"Uhg, do you even know how to take care of these? I know it's not exactly normal for cookies to spontaneously sprout wings, but you didn't even think to pick up a book? Typical old fool"

Shadow Milk's impulsive nature had him reaching out to pick at the feathers without thinking. The wings shot backwards at his approach and their owner had also leaned ever so slightly away though it seems as though the wings were much more emotional than the cookie they were attached to.

"Look, I'll level with you here, I've had a very very long week. I'm spent. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't hurt you. So just give me the damn wings before you give yourself an infection. I've been told my claws are especially suited for the job~"

He ended on a high note, fondly remembering time spent with Eternal Sugar Cookie many eons ago. Slowly but surely Pure Vanilla's tiny wings stretched to the full length. They trembled in Shadow Milk's hand, but the work was doable anyway. His focus was entirely on removing the excess keratin on any growing pin feathers and taking away feathers which were beginning to molt or break. Then, he repositioned the plumes that he had ruffled. He floated back with a satisfied huff, proud of the job he had done on such an intricate level.

"Go ahead and fluff 'em out, birdy. I don't normally charge for my services, but I would accept if you paid me in compliments"

Pure Vanilla ran his fingers across the newly preened surface of the wings with a gentle smile

"Hm, they do feel much better. Thank you, Shadow Milk Cookie. You've done a wonderful job. At least, as far as I'm aware.."

Pure Vanilla chuckled at the admittance of his own ignorance.

"Yeah yeah, whatever. Just sweep up your feathers before you leave! I've got some Well deserved Z's to catch up on!"

Shadow Milk shooed Pure Vanilla from the room but before he left, he gave Shadow Milk a final, lingering smile

"I'll do my best to understand you, Shadow Milk. I promise you don't have to be alone anymore."

Beasts didn't need sleep much like they didn't need food, water, or even to breath. That didn't mean Shadow Milk didn't sleep. Typically, sleep was a blissful escape from the waking world. Tonight was not so blissful. He tossed and turned mercilessly. This mattress wasn't nearly as comfortable as Pure Vanilla's had been. How rude.

In between wakefulness and sleep he clutched at his Soul Jam. The gem glowed faintly, the light pulsing painfully. The most infuriating part was that he didn't know why and he was too tired to figure it out. It's other half was somewhere decently nearby, closer than usual at least, so it couldn't possibly be complaining about distance. His dreams weren't exactly pleasant, but it wasn't as if he was having nightmares. All he could do was growl into a pillow and let his claws dig into the fabric.

He was half-tempted to throw the accursed object across the room. He couldn't stand it anymore. Off with it. Maybe this was unhealthy, but nobody else was around to berate him for it. With shaking hands, he undid the clasp that held to brooch to his chest and stuffed it somewhere in the void of his hair, chucking it haphazardly into the other realm.

This always resulted in an interesting feeling. Straying too far away from the Soul Jam was dangerous at best and catastrophic at worst. The thing about the other realm was that it was simultaneously a part of Shadow Milk, a manifestation of his magic that was quite literally hidden in his hair and between every thread of reality, and some other dimension entirely. It left him in a state of half-being. Alive physically, but all of the facets of his personality that made him Shadow Milk Cookie floated aimlessly in an abyss of his own creation. Even if his mind, or rather his soul, was still racing with unprocessed thoughts and emotions, his body had finally closed its eyes in a fuzzy haze of partial consciousness.

---

The next sound he heard was knocking, rather banging, at his door. He didn't rise even an inch. The rise and fall of his chest was shallow, almost non-existent. When the door opened, the lifeless marionette laying on his bed was unable to pinpoint who had entered the room. Some kind of commotion was happening outside of his limp limbs. Then, his hand was being guided into his own hair. His glossed over eyes didn't even begin to comprehend the scene around him until his fingers met a cold metallic casing.

He shot to life as he grasped the Soul Jam in his hand, clinging onto it and pulling it back through the heavy black of the other realm. It was only then that he recognized the faces in the room. Black Saphire with his hand still around Shadow Milk's wrist. Candy Apple wallowing next to the bed as if she hadn't seen this a million times before. And Pure Vanilla standing tall in the doorway, wings fluttering around wildly in panic.

"I can't do this every single time you have a bout of insomnia"

Sapphire deadpanned, letting Shadow Milk's hand fall back down onto his chest.

Shadow Milk's body twitched unnaturally as the feeling returned to his extremities. Then came a prolonged yawn and a stretch that make his bones pop and crack under the pressure of movement.

Candy Apple stood quickly and jumped around on the floor.

"Master Shadow Milk Cookie is up!" She beamed "Can we eat now? Please please pleeeaaaseeee!"

Her wings fluttered in excitement in the same way that Pure Vanilla's had flapped around with no chance of gaining flight.

"What.. what was that?" He voice was as gentle as ever but still seemed to cut through Candy's excitable screams.

"Huh? Oh yeah I guess yours doesn't do that. Good for nothing Jam thief." Shadow Milk replied lazily, still trying to wet his eyes again after they had dried out in the night.

"Just a little trick us original holders can get away with!"

Black Sapphire scoffed, clearly annoyed thinking about the number of times he had had to bring Shadow Milk back to life.

"Look, kid, at least you're just.. waking me up. Some kids have to call poison control when their daddies overdose"

Everyone except Candy Apple recoiled from the comment, trying not to imagine something like that happening. Shadow Milk grinned knowing it had diverted attention away from his corpselike slumber.

With a snap of his fingers, Shadow Milk was back in his normal attire and he was affixing his Soul Jam back onto his ruff, rubbing his sleeve over it until it shone.

"Ahem! There is a certain young lady in this room who's made it abundantly clear that she is simply dying of starvation! Everyone out! Out!"

Shadow Milk floated along behind the group still picking at the details of his outfit as if it were even possible that the 'threads' could be coming loose.

---

Breakfast was awkward. It was silent. Too silent. So much so that Shadow Milk was currently entertaining himself by playing soft phantom-like melodies and watching Pure Vanilla turn his head every which direction trying to figure out where they were coming from or whether they were real in the first place.

They were sitting in a rather remote area of the castle, hidden away from the view of prying cookies. The eyes in his hair peeked in every which direction counting the number of hidden security officers who no doubt believed themselves to be well hidden. One in a raftors waiting to pounce. Someone waiting on the balcony pretending to be a member of the waitstaff. Even the chef who lingered awkwardly in the room looked like he was hiding something in his shoes by the awkward gait with which he walked.

"Witches above! This crowd is giving me nothing to work with! How exactly am I supposed to make friends if everyone is too shy, huh? Pure Vanilla, I don't know if you noticed, but your employees are being pretty rude if you ask me! Spying on a poor innocent cookie!"

Shadow Milk fluttered his lashes but was met with no ounce of sympathy.

"Shadow Milk.." Pure Vanilla began slowly and sternly in a way that immediately put a scowl on Shadow Milk's face. "You are a very powerful entity and I've seen you use those powers to harm and crumble cookies in the past. I do apologize if you're uncomfortable, but please understand that I will not risk the safety of my kingdom to bend to your fleeting whims."

Unruly strands of hair lashed behind Shadow Milk's head and melted into one another appearing like a grotesque puddle of oil that betrayed the anger lying behind the toothy smile he wore.

"You little–!"

"Master Shadow Milk Cookie! I'm done!"

The hair dropped flat as soon as it had begun to dance. Candy Apple was sitting with those annoyingly wide eyes looking up at him with a smile that screamed "pay attention to me." And that he did.

"You! Uhg.. get up, up! Look at this mess! Syrup all over your clothes! I'm going to stop making these for you if you can't be more careful"

He summoned a wet wash cloth at once and began to rub at the new, sticky stains that adorned her dress. Then he wiped at her face, roughly enough to clean her up but surprisingly gentle for someone who called himself the beast of deceit.

"Even your hair is sticky.." he grumbled, turning her face this way and that as he assessed the damages with a sigh. "It's fine. I'm sure a good king wouldn't deny a little girl a bath. But after dinner."

He pinched he nose lightly with a laugh. Small, but real.

"Ah, if you like, I can run her one now"

"No, no, if you give her a bath now, she'll only be covered in something else by lunchtime. My little mischief maker! I really am such a proud papa!"

He wiped a fake tear away from the corner of his eye as he gave Candy a tiny twirl before sitting back in his seat. It seemed she was already running off to look around. He kept an eye locked on her at all times, hyper aware of any cookie in the room capable of causing her harm. Luckily her brother had followed suit, leaving him and Pure Vanilla more or less alone, although he figured that true privacy was a thing of the past. His hands unconsciously clasped around his Soul Jam and his jaw tightened. There wasn't a single staff member in the room who didn't have their sights locked tightly on the glittering jewel.

"While I may not trust your intentions, I can assure you that Candy Apple Cookie and Black Sapphire Cookie are completely safe. No harm will come to them as long as I have anything to say about it. Those were my direct orders, so you need not watch them quite so closely"

"Hm.." Clearly, Shadow Milk didn't give his trust out easily but as long as they stayed in the same room, he was willing to let his guard down ever so slightly. It was a large ballroom, but it was almost completely empty save for a few sparce table placements. Enough room for the kids to tire themselves out in at least.

"Are you saying you want me to watch you instead?~" He purred, leaning forward to put his chin in his hands, his shark-toothed smile gleaming in the light of the open balcony window. He caught the way those stupid, feathery wings bent ever so slightly to cover up Pure Vanilla's cheeks. Oh how he missed the days when he could make his Truthless Recluse sing such pretty songs with that same color in his face.

"Here's what I've noticed!" Shadow Milk floated up from his seat and stacked up the empty plates on the table. "Your plate is the only one that can't be cleaned up. Are you afraid I've poisoned you? Cast a spell? Snuck a love potion into your fruit salad?"

Shadow Milk conjured various cartoon images of Pure Vanilla choking on the food or falling hopelessly in love with the handsome blue devil himself.

"Hm.. concerning imagery aside, I'm afraid I'll have to disappoint you. I just don't have a very strong appetite."

Shadow Milk raked his eyes over the other man's form. Since the awakening, he looked significantly stronger and healthier. Bigger, taller, more muscular. There was simply no way that he hadn't accrued some type of ravenous appetite. The Soul Jams were one hell of an energy source, but that didn't mean they never got hungry. Sure, when the pieces had been together as the Soul Jam of Knowledge, he didn't remember ever really needing to take care of his body, but in their weakened states, it was still painful to go too long without food.

He squinted. How annoying. He couldn't imagine the saint Pure Vanilla Cookie being such a hypocrite. Truthless had been outright self-destructive, but this was something else. There was a calculated measure to the way Pure Vanilla lied through his teeth as if the Master of Deceit wouldn't see through such a thing.

"Ahem. May I point out something I notice then?"

"Huh?"

"You made an observation about me, so I think it's only fair if I do the same." Pure Vanilla smiled gently before continuing, "you've been gripping at your Soul Jam this whole time. Is it bothering you..?"

Shadow Milk actually hadn't quite noticed where his hands had been, but now he hesitated to move them. He peeked behind his hands just slightly to see a faint glow resonating from the object, blinking slowly like a heartbeat.

"Oh? You want me to tell you the truth when you so obviously lied to me just now? How ironic! Oh silly Vanilly~ Come on, use your head! I've got you figured out, so try me this time, huh?"

He winked before floating off to regroup with Candy Apple and Black Sapphire as they asked questions about a portrait humg on the other side of the room. Pure Vanilla sat alone at the table, looking on with a new crease in his brow. He whispered quietly to himself, his wings covering up his mouth like he was afraid of someone reading his lips.

Shadow Milk was already getting bored. It had hardly been a day in the Vanilla Kingdom, but it was dreadfully dull. He stared wistfully out of the sugar glass windows at the bustling town square, cookies smiling and trading details about their day. The only cookies he had interacted with were armed to the nines. Their attempts to conceal their weapons were pitiful as if they could seriously conceal anything from the Beast of Deceit.

Pure Vanilla Cookie had returned to his office to work on some paperwork on the other side of the castle; a wing that was heavily guarded and he wasn't allowed to enter. That certainly didn't stop him. After all, what were walls to someone who had portaled across continents? Pure Vanilla didn't even look surprised when Shadow Milk floated up directly through the floor.

"You're torturing me"

Shadow Milk groaned, flopping down on one of the couches on the wall opposite to Pure Vanilla's desk. Even this felt more comfortable than his bed.

"Is that so?"

Pure Vanilla's head didn't even rise as his fingers clacked away on a typewriter. His hands were focused entirely entirely on his work even if his staff, leaning against the wall, had its eye fixed on Shadow Milk.

"None of the cookies out there will even talk to me! It's so boring! There's nothing to do!"

He whined, twisting around on the cushions like he was genuinely suffering from some elaborate illness.

"Well, they are working. Why don't you visit the library? I will admit that most of the books are in braille though"

"Been there, done that! I've read every book that was published before my banishment."

At that, Pure Vanilla had to chuckle.

"Do you know how many books have been written since then? I'm not actually sure there are any books that were published before that point"

Truly Shadow Milk's interest was piqued, not that he would admit it. What he really wanted was attention, not a distraction. He would visit the library later. He wanted to catch up on the history he had missed.

"Nope! Don't wanna! I'm cold! Why don't you warm me up huh?~"

He floated over to brace his hands on the waffle cone desk. He already felt warmer just being close to Pure Vanilla. It was as if he radiated light and warmth.

With a resigned sigh, Pure Vanilla gestured to the chair Shadow Milk was currently floating right next to.

"If you want to, you can sit next to me while I work. You'll be waiting for an awful long time though."

He didn't know whether to smile at his triumph or roll his eyes at his defeat. He wasn't forced out, but it wasn't what he want. That didn't mean he didn't drag the chair to Pure Vanilla's side of the desk.

He leaned his head lightly on Pure Vanilla's shoulder, testing the waters while he read through the jargon the other was working on. Vanilla's shoulder tensed considerably, but he didn't say anything.

"You're even warmer now. That's probably the only thing you could hold over Truthless' head" Shadow Milk snorted.

–––

Just how long was Pure Vanilla going to stay holed up in this stuffy little room? The sun was practically starting to set! Shadow Milk was hardly a patient cookie. After hours of watching Pure Vanilla toil away he had begun to grow restless, throwing his head back and groaning every few seconds.

"I only have a few more reports to write, I promise."

Pure Vanilla voice sounded hoarse from disuse and his eyes were heavy and tired.

"... here. You looked like you were having a good time last time, so why don't you preen them while you wait?"

The wings on Pure Vanilla's ears stretched out making him appear even more radiant than before. When did he get so.. bright? It made Shadow Milk shiver and his jaw tighten.

"Fine."

He hated when Pure Vanilla was right. He did love the wings. They were deliciously soft. If he closed his eyes he could almost imagine running his hands through Eternal Sugar's feathers instead. Pure Vanilla's were softer though, and they fluttered ever so slightly if he pressed in the right spots. It was hard not to laugh when it happened.

"You're squirming, truther! Are they really that sensitive?"

"No. It's only because you're the one touching them"

"Aww~ maybe you really are falling for me, huh? Two halves of a whole! Thats so typically sappy of you"

"I'm more afraid than flustered really." The words were meager, but truthful, spoken with a tiny smile.

"I'm trying to be a friend for you, but our time in the Spire has not left my mind." Pure Vanilla's hands stopped moving as he turned to Shadow Milk, opening up his eyes. He could only make out the vague shapes of Shadow Milk's face, but it was enough. "Forgiveness is not easy, but forgetting is nigh impossible. I'm sure you can understand that better than anyone else."

Pure Vanilla moved his hands up to cup Shadow Milk's face, gently gliding his fingers along the expanse of powder blue skin like he was reading a book.

"I know you're impatient, but I need time. I want to know you better. I know there's goodness inside you. Will you give me the time I need to find it?"

The jester felt his head nod and a tiny hum of approval leave his mouth before he could process what he was doing. Then, his eyes shot open and he nearly fell backwards scrambling away from Pure Vanilla's trance-inducing touch.

"You! You're playing tricks on me! Keep your disgusting magic away from me!"

He had backed himself against the wall. All of the pupils in all of his eyes slitted like like a cat. His heart was thumping wildly in his chest. What spell had that fool cast on him?

His hands clasped around his Soul Jam until they hurt. The hair lashed behind him, curling it's way over his head like it was a snake poised to strike.

"Don't touch me!"

And then he was gone. Sinking back into the comforting embrace of his other realm.

–––

Shadow Milk spent the next few days in isolation. He flitted between the other realm and his temporary room in the castle, only occasionally stepping out to listen to Candy Apple and Black Sapphire's reports. Every day there would inevitably come a knock at his door and a voice calling out to him to eat or trying to apologize. He ignored it.

He didn't care how painful the Soul Jam became. It had gone thousands of years alone in that tree. It would be fine without its other half. It would be fine.

It wasn't fine. It burned. It made Shadow Milk feel like he was choking on his own howls of pain. No matter how much he clawed it, it's tugging was constant, trying to drag him along with its whims. Why was it acting up? It had never done this before Pure Vanilla awakened. That.. that witch-lover! He hated him!

Until those tanned fingers snuck their way under his door, and he was crawling to them like a pathetic dog. He sat with his back leaning against the door as he let his fingers fall over Pure Vanilla's. The pain eased up just enough for him to breath, even if he was still panting.

"Please come out. You sound like you're in pain."

"I am in pain! And it's your fault! You gnat!" He barked out without regard for how sore his throat was. "You cursed me! Or poisoned me! You did something!"

His claws dug into the back of Pure Vanilla's hand drawing up tiny pinpricks of blood.

"I promise I haven't done anything. I only want to help, but I can't do that if you won't let me in." His voice was a soothing balm to Shadow Milk's shot nervous system. It was gentle in all it's firmness. There was an undercurrent of worry, but mostly he was grounded. He knew where he was an what he wanted. How annoying.

The lock on the door slowly clicked, allowing Pure Vanilla to creak open the door just enough to slide inside, closing it quickly behind him again. Shadow Milk was laying on his back on the floor, limbs spread out as sweat seemed to seep through the tight fabric of his clothing. Pure Vanilla lowered himself to lay next to him, clasping Shadow Milk's hand in his own.

"I hate you."

"That's okay."

"Candy Apple and Black Sapphire are still okay? Nobody has touched them? They've only said good things, but they're very good liars"

Shadow Milk felt his hand being squeezed gently

"They're doing just fine. The girls are quite enraptured by Candy Apple's.. excitability. She's been playing dress up with them I believe. Black Sapphire is certainly a busy body, but he's made some friends too. There's a certain cookie on the night shift he likes to trade gossip with. They miss you. You should come to dinner."

Shadow Milk closed his eyes. The pain in the Soul Jam had numbed to a dull ache. Suddenly it was hard to stay awake with how hard his body had been working to power through. He nodded at Pure Vanilla's suggestion, but he didn't open his eyes.

"What time is it right now"

"There's enough time for a nap. You look like you need one"

With a little help, Shadow Milk had dragged himself up from the floor and onto the bed hurrying himself in the covers. Pure Vanilla pulled the chair over from the small desk on the wall so that he could sit next to the bed.

"Do you want me to stay with you?"

"No."

He mumbled even as he reached his hand out from under the blankets to hold Pure Vanilla's again. Maybe he was just getting used to it by now, but the bed didn't feel quite as uncomfortable anymore.

–––

After a week without food, that dinner might have been the best thing he had even eaten. Every bite nearly brought tears of joy to his eyes. In fact, they did bring tears to the eyes in his hair. Every time someone brought him more, he would clasp his hands around theirs and thank them with a bravado only Shadow Milk Cookie could hope to muster. He had finished three plates stacked with jellies and pasta before he started slowing down.

"Oh food, how I missed you! I'll never betray you again!"

He lamented over the clean plate, his belly full and the sweet taste still lingering on his tongue. Now that he was satisfied, the world seemed brighter. Candy Apple's laughs made his chest swell with pride and Black Sapphire retorts made him beam.

"Are you feeling better now" Pure Vanilla laughed, covering his smile with his hand.

"I don't think I've ever felt better~" He purred in reply, draping himself over Pure Vanilla's shoulder to soak up the warmth that kept his Soul Jam's anger at bay.

–––

They next days passed in relative peace. They had fallen into somewhat of a routine. Everyone gathered together for breakfast and dinner. Pure Vanilla spent most of the day bent over his desk and Shadow Milk spent most of the day pestering him.

Today Shadow Milk fingered through the pages of a history book. Apparently, it was very surprising to Pure Vanilla that he could read braille as if he hadn't been alive when it was invented.

The sun was warm as he stretched himself out on the couch in the office. He had closed his eyes as he read, barely even paying attention to the letters under his fingers.

"Blueberry... Blueberry Yogurt Academy..? Hey, blondie, your book has a typo!"

"Really? Let me feel."

Shadow Milk gladly slid the book through the air, his magic stopping it just before it hit Pure Vanilla in the face. He lazily flipped the page to the one he had been reading.

"Right there! Blueberry Yogurt Academy? Really? How does a mistake like that even happen!"

Pure Vanilla looked at him perplexed.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand. There's nothing wrong with it as far as I can tell"

"Uh, hello? Yogurt? Obviously they meant the Blueberry MILK Academy. Only the oldest standing magic school on the whole of Earthbread!"

"It was called the Blueberry Yogurt Academy when I attended"

Shadow Milk's head shot up from where he lazed on the couch. If Pure Vanilla could see, he'd be able to watch the cogs turning in Shadow Milk's head.

"They.. they renamed MY academy?! My life's work?! It's the only thing still standing from my kingdom and they just.. erased my name from the record?!"

"Your academy? Do you mean to say..?"

Pure Vanilla's eyes sparkled at this new information. If he was trying to hide the smile spreading across his cheeks, he wasn't doing a very good job.

"Obviously! Do you seriously think the Cookie of Knowledge didn't have a hand in constructing the single best magic academy in Crispia? All of my best research was conducted there!"

"Why blueberries?"

Pure Vanilla's wide-eyed curiosity almost reminded Shadow Milk of his students before attendance dropped. The memory was sweet. The question not so much.

"It's just an old nickname." He brushed it off cooly, taking the book back and continuing to read about the achievements of his academy since he'd been gone.

"Who gave it to you?"

"Stop asking questions."

"If you tell me, you can play with my wings"

He shut the book and eyed Pure Vanilla suspiciously. He weighed the pros and cons in his head, but it didn't matter once Pure Vanilla shook his head, fluffing up the feathers to be.. irresistible. He was caving before he could even fly himself over to sink his hands in.

"My old friends. But Sugar was the one who came up with it. She came up with nicknames for everyone"

His voice was filled to the brim with fondness, but his eyes were misty and downturned.

"I wonder how she's doing these days.."

"It sounds like she means a lot to you. She sounds very kind. As long as she continues to care for you as well, I'm sure she's very happy."

Shadow Milk laughed at a joke that Pure Vanilla wasn't even aware he had made. What was Shadow Milk even worried about? Of course the Bringer of Happiness was happy.

"Why are we here?!" Shadow Milk's grating voice was put of place in a market full of happy faces.

"I wanted to apologize for keeping you cooped up in the castle for so long. I might have misjudged your intentions"

Shadow Milk, Candy Apple, and Black Sapphire had all dawned disguises for the sake of humoring Pure Vanilla. Shadow Milk's hair was done half up in braids, his normal attire traded for a flowing blue dress that cinched at his waist. In his hand, he held onto a tiny cookie with green apples bobbing along on her head. Black Sapphire, or rather, Grapevine Cookie held her other hand looking overall uninterested.

"Shadow- ah, I mean, Blue Raspberry Cookie, what do you think of these flowers? They're a gift for a friend, so I want to make sure they're perfect."

"Are you telling me you don't know what kind of flowers your friends like?"

"No, I'm afraid it.. hasn't come up"

"Well, I can tell you how.. dastardly lilies are!"

Shadow Milk pointed his nose up in the air in disdain at the thought of them. He couldn't even stand the smell of them.

"Hm, yes, I don't suppose he would like them either.. How about you Green Apple?" Pure Vanilla kneeled down to her level and gestured to the various bushels on the display shelves. Candy Apple broke away from the hands holding her to wander around.

"Oh oh! These blue ones look just like Lady Blue Raspberry Cookie! And these milk crowns grow everywhere around the Spire!"

"There are more roses than milk crowns really!" Sapphire butted in pointing out an entire shelf of roses in different colors.

Pure Vanilla looked at his blue companion expectantly, urging him to step deeper inside the shop. He examined each of the display bouquets carefully. He scowled at any wilting leaves and completely refused to walk past any particularly fragrant flowers.

"Well.. everything here pales in comparison to the beauty of yours truly, but I suppose if I had to pick, the daffodils aren't.. terrible."

Pure Vanilla nodded with a smile.

"Thankyou for your input everyone. It's very valuable to me. Why don't you three pick somewhere to go for lunch while I pay here?"

–––

"Over there! I want pie! Please, please, please, Blue Raspberry Cookie?" Candy Apple pulled at Shadow Milk's skirt and looked up at him with those wide puppy-dog eyes.

"Are you an idiot?" Black Sapphire snatched her up and held her out at arms length. "Pure Vanilla is paying. That means, we could he feasting on anything we could imagine and you want pie? That's not even a lunch food"

Shadow Milk's lips tightened into a thin line of disapproval as he sat on a nearby bench to rest his feet. He wasn't used to actually walking, especially in heels. This must have just been another tactic to wear him down. Well two can play at that game. After all, he was only here to reclaim his Soul Jam. He just needed to find a way to be invited into Pure Vanilla's room sooner rather than later. Maybe he only needed to turn up the charm. Truthless Recluse certainly found him.. irresistible. The jester only needed to remind him just how much pleasure he could bring.

"Grapevine is right. There's a very elegant venue not too far from here. Besides, the desserts there will be much better than any pie a simple diner could serve"

Blue Raspberry was a high class cookie after all. It was worth it even if Candy's pout tugged at his heart strings. Some sacrifices just had to be made. Besides, at least Black Sapphire would be happy, and he wasn't in the business of playing favorites. It was about time he did something nice for his second in command.

As he spotted Pure Vanilla making his way towards them through the crowd, Shadow Milk pulled down at the neckline of his dress until just a hint of cleavage was visible. Shadow Milk's body might have been broken and scarred, but Blue Raspberry's was perfect if Pure Vanilla's staring was anything to go by.

"Excuse me, eyes up here mister" He hooked one finger under Pure Vanilla's chin, forcing him to make eye contact.

"I- of course, I would never- ahem. Have you all decided where you want to go?" That was exactly the color Shadow Milk wanted to see. That dust of blush might just be his favorite sight in the world.

"I know a place~" He hooked his arm in Pure Vanilla's, waving for the two younger cookies to follow.

–––

"Ah, this place is quite.. extravagant. But I do suppose I offered to take you all out, so it's no trouble! Don't be afraid to eat to your heart's content. It's on me."

Pure Vanilla's smile was almost sickeningly sweet as they were led to a booth in a quite corner of the restaurant next to a window that overlooked the edge of the floating kingdom. The view was magnificent. The sky was a bright blue and the clouds slowly drifted along looking especially regal.

It might have been more traditional to sit across from one's date, but Shadow Milk very intentionally scooted in beside Pure Vanilla letting Candy Apple and Black Sapphire sit on the other side of the table. He scooched in close, backing Pure Vanilla against the window and letting his hands rest idly on the saint's arm. Pure Vanilla's feathers fluttered but he didn't complain.

"What a beautiful family! I didn't know Pure Vanilla Cookie was seeing anyone" The waiter commented as he gently placed menus in front of each of them.

"Ah, no-" Pure Vanilla began before he was cut off.

"Why thankyou! The kids are mine of course, but my beloved has been very accommodating!" Trying to sell the lie, Shadow Milk pressed his chest into Pure Vanilla's arm, making sure he could feel the give of his bosom.

Pure Vanilla waited until the waiter had flited away before he spoke again.

"Shadow Milk, I'm not sure how comfortable I am with.." Pure Vanilla pulled his arm away and kept his voice low. The mask that Shadow Milk dawned slipped just for a second before his smirk returned.

"Aw come on Nilly~ we used to have so much.. fun" His breath was hot on Pure Vanilla's neck as he leaned in to whisper. His hand wandered southward teasing dangerously close to Pure Vanilla's groin.

"Dad!" Black Sapphire's face had turned beet red and he had his hand clasped over Candy Apple Cookie's ears. The silence that fell over the group was suffocating.

Shadow Milk disentangled himself from Pure Vanilla and was blinking blankly. Black Sapphire was equally as embarrassing by the flirty pair across from him as he was by what he had just called out. It was the only word that Candy Apple had heard because of how loud it was and her mouth hung agape before she slapped her hands over Black Sapphire's mouth.

"Y-you can't call him that! You have to respect Master Shadow Milk Cookie at all times!"

It turn, Shadow Milk reached across the table to cover Candy Apple's mouth, but the damage was already done. Every cookie in the vicinity was staring at them, whispering. He could catch everything, but someone had pointed out the sharp teeth in Shadow Milk's mouth. He hard another whisper from the other side talking about the eyes that had apparently opened in his hair. The more he heard, the harder it was to keep his disguise together. The only thing that broke him down faster than the whispers were the watery eyes directly across from him. In an instant, Blue Raspberry Cookie had melted away and Shadow Milk had scooped Candy Apple into his arms, hovering with her high above the patrons' heads. Black Sapphire was quick to shed his own disguise and join them apologizing rapidly to both Shadow Milk and Candy. There was no response before a portal opened up above their heads leaving Pure Vanilla to fend for himself as everyone bombarded him with questions.

–––

Shadow Milk had portaled them into his own room in the castle. He set Candy Apple down gently on the edge of the bed and had Black Sapphire join her. Shadow Milk kneeled in front of them and abruptly pulled them into a tight group hug that had Sapphire and Candy staring at each other in bewilderment. Candy Apple was the first to return the gesture followed by Black Sapphire awkwardly patting Shadow Milk on the back.

"I'm sorry" He rasped out in between ragged breaths as he tried desperately to recuperate. He groaned as he slowly leaned back, keeping one hand on each kid's shoulder.

"Master Shadow Milk Cookie-"

"You don't have to call me that" Shadow Milk sighed as he stood back up shaking his head. He ruffled the hair on Black Sapphire's head ever so slightly before he caught sight of the new vase standing on the desk. Daffodils. Of course they were for him. Pure Vanilla must have had them delivered before he met up with them in the square. He smiled faintly and turned back to the siblings still wide-eyed in their disbelief.

"Go on then! If I know anything about that idiot it's that he got flowers for you too. It'd be a shame if they wilted before you got to enjoy them"

The bat cookies were all too eager to scamper off and compare their gifts, leaving Shadow Milk alone with the bouquet. There was a small note nestled in between the sunny yellow petals. The letters were shaky and rough, clearly Pure Vanilla's handwriting. He hadn't even used his staff to see what he was writing. How typically sappy of him. It was hard to make out, but Shadow Milk was eventually able to make out the words; 'You look stunning no matter what ♡'

What? Shadow Milk turned the paper over in his hands, searching for some kind of second meaning. Of course he knew that he was attractive. There was no reason for Pure Vanilla to comment on it. And that.. heart. What was Pure Vanilla getting at? And why did Shadow Milk feel so.. warm? He felt at his usually frigid skin and found that it was bordering on being outright hot. He needed Pure Vanilla to get back to the castle this instant. There was no more time for questions.

It didn't take long of opening tiny portals around where they had walked before he found Pure Vanilla surrounded by concerned cookies and was pulling him through a portal that landed him cradled in Shadow Milk's arms for a moment before being abruptly dropped on the ground.

"What is the meaning of this?" Shadow Milk waved the paper in front of Pure Vanilla's staff so he could see it.

"Shadow Milk! I was trying to-!"

"I don't care! You can go back tomorrow and explain, but I can't wait! You make me sick!"

Shadow Milk pulled at his collar trying to cool himself down as Pure Vanilla situated himself to sit on the bed and properly examine what Shadow Milk was trying to show him.

"Ah, I see. I only wanted to pay you a compliment. I thought it might make you feel appreciated. You've been keeping me company while I work recently, and I wanted to say thankyou."

"And the heart?"

Pure Vanilla's only response was to smile warmly like Shadow Milk was supposed to know what that meant. Apparently, his Soul Jam did. It glowed softly on his ruff, gleaming happily. Shadow Milk could only assume it was responding to whatever illness Pure Vanilla had brought upon him. He covered it up with his hands, floating out of reach before Pure Vanilla could finish casting any of his nasty light magic spells.

"You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?" He hissed. "It's your fault I'm so.. so! Uhg!" He crossed his arms and pouted as he floated himself back down to lay on the bed finding that he was at a loss for words. "I hate you." He grumbled.

"The only thing I'm doing is being nice. Are you saying you're not feeling well? If you need, I could try to ease any discomfort.."

Pure Vanilla moved his wrist to rest against Shadow Milk's forehead.

"Hmm. Well, you are very warm, but I don't think that you're sick"

"Don't lie to me! There's obviously something wrong! Even if my body is fine, the Soul Jam is.. freaking out! I don't know!"

He gestured wildly as the blue gem continued to give off a soft light.

"Is there a possibility that you're just.. embarrassed?" Pure Vanilla rested his hand on Shadow Milk's chest, feeling the thumping of his heart. "Has nobody ever called you beautiful before?"

Shadow Milk felt even worse than before.

"Of course they have! I'm perfection! The most magnificent cookie to have ever lived! My followers used to sing my praises for hours! There were entire festivals dedicated to me!"

"Did you believe them?"

Did he believe them? What kind of stupid question was that? Of course he believed them. He used to believe them.

"I don't look the same" he mumbled letting his hands move to toy with Pure Vanilla's fingers over his chest.

"Neither do I"

"You're.. different. You're.. perfect"

Pure Vanilla leaned down until his forehead rested against Shadow Milk's. Shadow Milk could feel the fluttering of Pure Vanilla's eyelashes against his cheeks. Breathing in the warm scent did more than he cared to admit to level his emotions.

"I'll say it until you do believe it. You're beautiful. You're handsome. You're stunning. You're gorgeous."

"Shut up!"

"You're perfect just the way you are."

The Soul Jam still hadn't stopped glowing. It wasn't uncomfortable or distracting, really, but it was.. embarrassing! How was he supposed to leave his room looking like that? Black Sapphire would gossip about his endlessly. He would never hear the end of Pure Vanilla's disgusting lovey-dovey preaching or his teasing, but the fact was that they never actually did eat lunch and the sun was starting to set. Shadow Milk hadn't stopped pacing trying to figure out a way to enjoy his dinner without needing to see anyone else and without Pure Vanilla knocking at his door and asking him to talk about what was wrong and how he was feeling. There had been enough feelings for one day after the disaster that happened in town. Pure Vanilla was probably out there right now comforting any cookies that Shadow Milk had unintentionally terrorized. Really it wasn't his fault they were so discriminatory. Just because he looked a little odd everyone was scared of him? He hadn't even actually done anything. And he couldn't stand the thought of what they might have been saying about his kids. If anyone had the nerve to insult even a single hair on their heads he would rip them to shreds!

He could always take off the Soul Jam he figured. Of course, it was slightly more risky. The Jam had a certain range of effect and if he were to walk outside of it.. he didn't even want to consider the possibilities. Blue Raspberry Cookie simply stored it in her basket. Perhaps Shadow Milk could do the same? Would anyone else notice if he were suddenly carrying around a purse? It wasn't out of the ordinary for him to be doing something strange. Maybe Blue Raspberry could just go to dinner instead but that might raise even more questions.

Shadow Milk stared at himself in the mirror for a long time, poking and prodding at the Soul Jam to see if it might calm down. He had to bite his lip to keep any uncouth noises from escaping, painful or otherwise. After all, touching one's actual soul was intense in all directions. He almost wondered if the other half could feel it too. They had briefly conjoined back in the Spire and ever since them, the two halves had seemed to share a strange connection. It was annoying to know at least in some capacity how Pure Vanilla was feeling and it was more annoying to know that Pure Vanilla could feel Shadow Milk's emotions in turn.

There really wasn't anything he could do, was there? He was out of time. Any second now, there would be a knock on his door telling him to eat with his family (and Pure Vanilla).

"Master Shadow-! Or uhm.. Master.. Dad..?"

At least his sweet little Candy Apple would be his executioner. The eyes in his hair looked down cast, tiny tears welling in the corners. The squeaking of the door hinge was the nail in the coffin.

"Don't look at me! I'm.. emotional!" His let his voice fall out in a dramatic sob as he pretended to faint in mid-air.

"When isn't he?" Black Sapphire whispered to his sister clearly not trying to hide his blatant insubordination. Candy's chuckling just might be the death of him. It was going to be a long night.

"It's not that bad! I think it's pretty!" Wasn't she just a peach?

"At least somebody in this family still knows what the word respect means" Shadow Milk could only roll his eyes and float along with his arms crossed over his chest as he shot a pointed look at Black Sapphire.

Pure Vanilla was already waiting for them at their usual empty ballroom, but the doors behind him were closed.

"Uhm, hello? The tables are inside?" Shadow Milk scolded.

"Haha! I know, but there's going to be a full moon tonight, so I thought we might eat in the garden. There's a table away from the lilies, don't worry" Pure Vanilla assured, reaching up to hold Shadow Milk's hand. "I've been looking forward to watching my queen of the night's bloom. They only do so once a year"

Shadow Milk didn't even really realize when he had taken Pure Vanilla's hand, but it more or less made him forget all about the glowing of his Soul Jam. He knew everything about all of the flowers that might be in Pure Vanilla's garden, but for some reason he was content to listen to the tidbits the healer spouted as they made their way down to the courtyard. Black Sapphire and Candy Apple were content to make fun of him the whole way there.

–––

The garden truly was enchanting at night as long as you ignored the greenhouse filled to the brim with those detestable lilies. The queen of the night plant was indeed in full bloom, each blossom reaching its petals out to its companions. The glow of the moon made the petals appear nearly ethereal. Shadow Milk lost count of how many sleeping orchids they passed. Primroses floated in waffelcone planters next to each marbel bench. It made him a little homesick. He wished there were milkcrowns. It really had been nice to see them back at the shop. They had an upsetting connotation because of an old legend that said they bloomed where tears were shed. Before the beasts fell they grew all over the cemeteries of his old kingdom, but they also grew outside hospitals. He wondered how many of those nourishing tears might actually have been the joyful tears of new parents or discharged patients. In fact, he remembered giving bouquets of milkcrowns to Candy Apple and Black Sapphire when he first took them in because of how happy it made him to raise children of his own.

Pure Vanilla eventually led them to a table with a candle burning brightly in the middle. Plates of food were already situated at each spot and by the looks of it, Shadow Milk's plate was next to Pure Vanilla's. It was quite strange to see the two meals next to each other. Pure Vanilla was strictly vegetarian, but he had always acknowledged Shadow Milk's preference for meat. It wasn't as if he was particularly picky, but sharp teeth like his own were ill-suited for chewing fruits and vegetables and his digestive tract was overall carnivorous. Simply put, his body is unable to process many of the nutrients found in plants. Not that he had explained any of that to Pure Vanilla. Part of him hoped the sheppard didn't think he was just trying to make him uncomfortable. Because he was trying to build trust. That was the only reason.

Pure Vanilla slid in next to Shadow Milk. This time the jester was the one being cornered against the wall though Pure Vanilla provided much more space for the other than Shadow Milk had. This was a second chance. Maybe he had come on too strong earlier, but if he could find a way to get the kids to go inside once they finished, Shadow Milk could have his prey all to himself.

"I told you it would be a beautiful night." Pure Vanilla twisted his staff slowly to take in the view of the flowers under the moonlight before letting it rest next to his seat where it could see his companions instead. There wasn't a bone in Shadow Milk's body that disagreed with the sentiment but he didn't say anything as he wolfed down his meal. He was careful to suck any extra pieces of meat from the grooves in his teeth. This performance needed to be perfect if he was going to get into Pure Vanilla's bed tonight and he couldn't have the taste of steak breaking the illusion.

As dinner went on, Shadow Milk began using the slightest touch of magic to create a chill that conveniently could only be felt by Candy Apple and Black Sapphire. Candy was the first to start shivering, but Sapphire was the first one to actually get up from his seat.

"Witches above, I cannot believe you two aren't cold. I'll make sure Candy goes to bed at a decent time as long as I get to go inside. You can enjoy your date" Candy's heavy eyelids left no room for objection on her part as they alternated between walking and fluttering back inside.

"It's not a date!" Shadow Milk bristled for a moment before clearing his throat and sitting back down and eyeing Pure Vanilla. "It's more like a.. moonlit rendezvous"

"Yes I suppose it is, isn't it? I didn't want to say anything while the others were here, but your Soul Jam has been glowing this whole time. It's very pretty. I'm glad to see that you're happy even if you won't say it out loud."

"I was hoping you wouldn't say anything about it at all" Shadow Milk grumbled, his face turning a slightly darker shade of blue. "In my defense, you're the one who ran off after that kiss."

"Oh my.. I was hoping you wouldn't say anything about that either. In truth, I may have been a little embarrassed myself."

"Oh really? You never seemed all that embarrassed when we played our little games in the Spire" Shadow Milk purred, leaning in closer. He had him exactly where he wanted him.

"Those were very different circumstances, Shadow Milk.."

"Hey, don't be like that! Everything was completely consensual! And you were always very consenting as I recall"

"Would you really have stopped if I asked you to?"

Shadow Milk was completely dumbfounded by the question. Just what the hell kind of thoughts was Pure Vanilla having back then? Sure he might have gotten a little suicidal near the end there, but was he really just sitting there letting himself be used like that?

"Of course I would have! I might be evil, but I'm not a monster! Well.. metaphorically at least. Technically speaking.." Shadow Milk had to shake his head to keep himself from straying from the topic at hand. "That's not the point! I even gave you a safeword! I was rough but I didn't.. I never hurt you, did I?"

It was the kind of thing Shadow Milk never expected would come out of his mouth, but here he was starting to panic about an issue he didn't even realize he had caused. He didn't even know how much of his worry was an act. None of it might have been the correct answer, but it wasn't the answer he liked.

"Perhaps I was only hurting myself" Pure Vanilla turned his head away towards the flowers again. That wasn't an answer Shadow Milk liked either. It wasn't really an answer at all. That's what cookies said when they knew saying yes would hurt the other person's feelings. He couldn't stop himself from digging his claws into the palms of his hands.

It didn't take long for Pure Vanilla to notice what Shadow Milk was doing and seize his hands so that they lay flat on Pure Vanilla's.

"Shadow, please. There are.. a great many mistakes that you have made, but this was not one of them. You're right. You really did give me every opportunity to back out and I'm sorry I didn't recognize it sooner. Hurting yourself does not take away the pain that others have endured nor does it take away your own troubles." Pure Vanilla's eyes were wide open. He only did that when he was really serious about something. Really being honest.

Shadow Milk was the first one to lean forward and pull Pure Vanilla into an embrace. It wasn't nearly as tight as it probably should have been. Shadow Milk wasn't particularly great at affection or comfort after all, but he would try his best for now.

"I should've known."

"I wasn't all bad." The way Pure Vanilla returned the hug was much better than Shadow Milk's sorry attempt at staring it. "We can always try again until we get it right"

Shadow Milk snorted out a laugh.

"Are you seriously saying what I think you're saying right now? You're pretty stupid, huh?"

Pure Vanilla laughed in reply.

"What can I say? I'm quite into family men."

"Alright, you ruined it." Shadow Milk retorted.

He wasn't sure how long they stayed wrapped up like that, but he figured his plan could wait at least.. one more night.

–––

"We should probably get to bed" Pure Vanilla said as they began to walk back through the garden to their rooms. They had reached the crossroads where they would typically part ways and Shadow Milk had already begun to turn down the hall to his own bed when Pure Vanilla called out.

"Wait! Would you.. like to join me tonight?"

That was a strange way of getting what he wanted, but who was he turn down the perfect opportunity.

"Oh? Are you really that impatient? You're a real freak you know~"

"No, not like that." Pure Vanilla was firm in his refusal. Good. Maybe he had finally learned his lesson. "I only wanted to see if you might want to.. cuddle for lack of a better term. I thought that prolonged proximity might help your Soul Jam adjust so it would stop glowing"

"Huh. Actually that's not a bad idea. Alright, lead the way! Your bed is way better than mine anyways."

Shadow Milk didn't realize how much he missed the feeling of silk sheets until he was rubbing his cheeks against the luxurious fabric.

"Shadow Milk, please take off your shoes before you get into bed.."

"Nilla, my shoes don't even touch the ground half the time."

Pure Vanilla shot him a disapproving look that had him floating back up into the air. With a snap of his fingers he had traded out his jester outfit for something more appropriate for bed, even if that was just a long T-shirt and briefs.

"Better?"

"Much" Pure Vanilla stupid happy smile had Shadow Milk burying his face back into the pillows so he didn't have to look at it.

Shadow Milk kept his eyes closed as Pure Vanilla changed into his own night clothes.

"You really do look like an old man when you wear stuff like that you know."

Of course he would sleep in a night gown. Shadow Milk figured he might even have a matching hat. At least he had the luxury of taking off the heavy Soul Jam and placing it on his night stand. Shadow Milk's was still firmly pinned to the fabric of his shirt.

"Don't you want to take yours off too?"

Pure Vanilla had left his staff at the door, but Shadow Milk knew he'd be able to see the light emitted by the glowing gem. He shifted slightly to give Pure Vanilla room to lay down next to him. It felt weird. They both just laid there staring up at the ceiling with their hand folded over their stomachs.

"Can't"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I can but remember when Sapphire had to uh.. wake me up that one time? Yeah. I don't particularly like accidentally dying in the middle of the night. If it gets too far from my body I go limp! Totally slack-jawed! It's not pretty. I can throw it into my other realm and be kind of okay, but even that's risky."

"I didn't know that" Pure Vanilla had turned onto his side to look at Shadow Milk. Not the he could actually see anything. Without light even the tiny pinprick of vision he did have was useless.

Shadow Milk only flipped away from him with a grunt. He didn't talk again until Pure Vanilla had wrapped an arm around his waist and started trailing his fingers down the long scars that marred his arms.

"Don't touch those. They're ugly."

"Do you think mine are ugly?"

"I think everything about you is ugly"

"Oh really? Is that why you were staring at me so hard during dinner? Or at the restaurant for that matter."

Shadow Milk's eyes snapped open as his flipped himself back around to face the other man.

"I was not!"

"Do you think my staff is broken then?"

"It must be. That or your brain" Shadow Milk flicked the tiny star on Pure Vanilla's forhead. He had always wanted to do that. Then, he wrapped his arms back around Pure Vanilla's torso so he could no longer reach them. "Just stop being annoying. I'm tired."

"Of course, dear"

"Since when do you call me that?"

"Since right now. Do you not like it?"

Shadow Milk sighed and pressed his cold nose into Pure Vanilla's chest.

"Do what you want." Shadow Milk was ready close his eyes. Having Pure Vanilla thread his fingers through his hair was only lulling him to sleep even faster.

"Shadow Milk?"

"Hm?" He grunted, already half asleep.

"You're beautiful."

".. okay?"

"I told you I would say it until you believe it."

"You can't even see my right now"

Pure Vanilla only responded with a chaste kiss pressed into the crown of Shadow Milk's.

"Go to sleep."

Shadow Milk stood on the precipice of disaster. The silver forks that fell from heaven shook the entire world under his feet. All of his friends had long since been imprisoned by their own creators and now it was his turn. The shackles aimed for each and every one of his limbs. Try as he might, history could never be changed. The first shackle to latch onto him encircled his neck, choking him and forcing him backwards into his eternal prison. No matter how much he tried to claw at the silver ring, his wrists wouldn't reach. It was all he could do to sputter and cry out, to pray to a pantheon of gods who had betrayed him. Whose own folly had birthed cookies who were destined to be corrupted by the nature of their own existence.

The scene shifted before him, warping until he was surrounded by the familiar walls of his Spire. Whether it was the Spire of Knowledge or Deceit he could never be sure. In front of him, the Truthless Recluse teetered on the edge of a long fall that was undoubtedly crumble him should he take that plunge. The smile on his face was haunting. No matter how fast Shadow Milk could fly, he would always be just out of reach of his other half. The three mangled bodies that lay lifeless on the ground made him sick.

"No! No! You can't! You can't leave me!"

Shadow Milk gagged himself awake, clawing at Pure Vanilla's chest as the earliest light of morning cracked through the window behind him. Pure Vanilla himself was jostled awake by Shadow Milk's flailing. The jester wasn't completely awake until he had spit up a puddle of stomach acid onto his own lap. Even then it was hard to keep his breath under control. He didn't even remember when he had fallen asleep. He was sure he hadn't meant to. He should've snuck out once Pure Vanilla closed his eyes. He could have had the Soul Jam in his grasp and would've been on his way home, finally victorious. Instead he was being cradled in the arms of the same fool he had planned to double-cross.

"Shhh shh I'm right here. I'm with you. You're not alone"

He clung to Pure Vanilla like his life depended on it. He was all he could focus on.

"I was.. you were.. the kids!"

He couldn't speak coherently and his head flung wildly to take in the room around him like he was searching for the two young cookies who he knew were on the complete opposite of the castle.

"Don't worry, they're sleeping soundly in their own rooms. I promise. Everyone is safe. You're safe."

"Yeah.. yeah I.. yeah."

They stayed like that for a few moments until Shadow Milk stopped shaking. A cold sweat made his hair stick to his face in various places and it had soaked through the front of his shirt leaving him shivering from where the cold, wet fabric clung to him. No matter how disgusting he looked, Pure Vanilla didn't let go.

"Why don't we get you cleaned up? The water might help calm you down."

"You should clean your sheets first" Shadow Milk's voice was hoarse and using it scratched his throat.

"Let me take care of it. You're much more important to me than my bedding."

"I shouldn't be."

Shadow Milk leaned heavily on Pure Vanilla's larger form as he was guided slowly to the attached bathroom. A large clawfooted tub gleamed on one end of the room reflected on the marble floor. Everything felt overall too bright and shiny. At least the deafening sound of the running water kept Pure Vanilla from trying to speak as he helped Shadow Milk shed his sweat-soaked clothes, placing the Soul Jam carefully on the counter. He avoided making eyes contact with the mirror at all costs. It was bad enough that Pure Vanilla knew what he looked like naked. The majority of skin on the left half of his chest was scaly and rough from an old fight with Burning Spice. His neck, wrists, and ankles all had friction scars from his time in the tree. He hated his arms the most. Large animalistic claw marks caused discoloration and raised keloids. Even if he used his illusions, he would still be able to feel every blemish.

It wasn't as if he need Pure Vanilla to take off his clothes. They would disappear once Shadow Milk waved them away. But he did it anyways. And he hugged Shadow Milk from behind as they waited silently for the tub to fill up. He knew he should be denying this touch. He didn't need to be comforted especially by Pure Vanilla, but he was too tired to complain. Those tanned hands clasped together at his waist kept him grounded as his head leaned back onto Pure Vanilla's shoulder.

"Alright, come on, let's get you in the bath"

"I don't wanna" He whined pressing his body back into the other's.

He didn't even know Pure Vanilla was capable of of picking him up, but he was being hoisted into his arms like he weighed nothing.

"Hey hey! You can't man handle me! This body is fragile!"

"It's only a bath, it's not going to kill you"

It just might. The water was too hot, he hated his hair being wet, there weren't enough bubbles to cover the surface of the water, he had a million complaints that Pure Vanilla took in stride each time. His hands only worked shampoo through the tresses of Shadow Milk's tangled hair.

"Do you want to tell me about your dream?"

"No." He drew his knees up to his chest and blew at the bubbles floating along with the ripples.

"You don't have to talk until you're ready, but I can try to ease any doubts your having"

"Doubts about what? I, the great and magnificent Shadow Milk Cookie, do what I want when I want!"

"Doubts about anything really. Our relationship, the future. I've already penned letters to the other ancients about your presence here"

"You did what?!" Shadow Milk twisted around, the hairs on the back of his neck stood at attention.

"I'm sorry, but I can't simply keep such a large secret from them. How do you think Candy Apple and Black Sapphire would feel if you didn't tell them you were coming here?"

"That's different! Your witch-loving so-called friends want me dead! That little.. half-cookie could!- Could.. she could.." Before he knew it, he had backed himself into the corned of the tub and was rubbing at his neck.

"I see.. Shadow Milk, I promise that nothing bad will happen to you as long as I have anything to say about it. And trust me, I have a lot to say about it" He laughed lightly as he cupped Shadow Milk's cheek. "I'm not sure when, but I know that they'll want to have a meeting to discuss this. I know it's easier said than done, but when the time comes, you'll need to trust me."

"Trust you?!" Shadow Milk grabbed hold of Pure Vanilla's wrist and growled in his face "You wrote to your namby-pamby half-cookies without even.. you didn't even have to guts to tell me! I should've taken that stupid little trinket from your night stand while I had the chance! Well guess what? I don't need you or your Soul Jam!" He thrust Pure Vanilla's hand away from him as he shook himself dry.

He stood in the middle of the room and with a clap of his hands had covered himself once again. He snatched his Soul Jam off the counter and situated it back on his ruff where it belonged.

"I'm going home."

As he turned his back to Pure Vanilla's his hand was caught and he was being forced to turn back around. The lips that clashed against his own were surprisingly assertive. He would've stumbled if Pure Vanilla hadn't caught him with a firm hand on his lower back. He felt like he was frozen I place, and he might have stayed that way if he hadn't felt the frantic beating of Pure Vanilla's heart. Both Soul Jams were exceedingly warm and he found himself melting into the kiss.

"Mh mh! Nilla!"

He found himself pleading in between gasps for air as he clutched at Pure Vanilla's robes.

"I'll stay I'll stay! Just... let.. me... breath!"

Eventually he was able to wrangle himself away from the embrace, floating out of reach to give himself time to inhale enough air to speak again.

"Oh my. It seems I might have gotten a bit.. carried away." Pure Vanilla's innocent smile was a complete turnaround from the boldness he showed just moments before.

"Uh yeah. A bit" Shadow Milk brushed down the front of himself and swatted away the hearts in his hair. "Quit being so dramatic. It was only a kiss"

"They were only being sweet" Pure Vanilla giggled, reaching up to Shadow Milk down to the ground. "How about some breakfast? The kids should probably be up by now"

–––

"Why should I have to write to them too? I haven't penned a letter in thousands of years! Besides, you already told them everything they actually need to know!"

"Please, bluebird? It would be a good opportunity for them to hear from the real you! It will be much easier for me to convince them that you mean no harm if you personally apologized"

"Apologize? Me? You're kidding. I've barely met most of those cookies. I spent all that time watching you not anyone else. You should all be thanking me! As the origin of magic, you and that.. uhg flowery one wouldn't even know how to cast spells if it weren't for me! You even studied in my academy. Oh! Isn't that fun? I bet White Lily Cookie would just die to become my personal protégé! Oh, she kind of already did, didn't she? Well, half-cookie or full, I don't like her!"

Shadow Milk spun idly in the air in Pure Vanilla's office holding an unused quill that he gestured wildly with each word.

"You're stalling and you're being mean."

"Fine fine! I am a reasonable cookie afterall! I will write four, mind you FOUR entire letters complete with apologies in exchange for a little bit of.. preening?"

He popped up behind Pure Vanilla and tried to grab at one of his wings before it was pulled away.

"I'm sure you'll enjoy it much more as a reward for when you finish." The smirk on Pure Vanilla's face was anything but angelic.

–––

"There! Done! Proofread all you want, I think you'll find that they're the best things you've ever read!"

Shadow Milk dropped the finished letters onto the bed where Pure Vanilla was already tucked in for the night. So what if it had taken him several hours to finish? It would've taken longer if he didn't have a special wing-petting appointment to look forward to.

"Thankyou, Shadow Milk." Pure Vanilla gathered the papers and stacked them neatly on his bedside table. "I'll make sure they get sent first thing tomorrow morning."

"Yeah yeah, whatever. Now roll over and give me those feathers bird boy! You're still shit at taking care of them"

Pure Vanilla huffed a little as he rolled onto his stomach allowing Shadow Milk to sit on the small of his back.

"Might I remind you that I can't exactly see them?"

"You might not be able to, but last time I checked, you have a massive, ridiculously heavy, might I add, seeing-eye staff. Inconvenient if you ask me. Cake hounds do the job just fine for most cookies, but if you want to be all high and mighty, be my guest!" Shadow Milk's hands were already working wonders on the healer's twitching plumage until he had his face buried in his pillow.

"I'm not high and mighty.." his voice came through muffled, but audible.

"Not right now you aren't"

Shadow Milk had to admit, he might be pushing his luck, but what could he say? He was the Fount of Knowledge. Curiosity was practically his middle name. He leaned in until he could feel the heat of his own breath reflected back at him. Ever so tenderly he nibbled at the base of the tiny appendage. The sound that came out of the trembling cookie beneath him was absolutely delectable.

"Oh? I really should have tested these things out sooner hm?"

Shadow Milk's teasing didn't stop there. He was going to break his precious little pet if it killed him. He rubbed his fingers into the miniscule muscles that made the wings stretch and retract and his mouth made it's way down to the nape of Pure Vanilla's neck. Without so much as a warning he was being flipped onto his back and those milky, mismatched eyes were already glazed over in desire.

"Careful! I already told you! This body is much weaker than the original!"

"That didn't seem to matter much in the Spire, did it? Or when you were egging me on. So be a good boy for me, will you?"

When did he get so.. hot? Shadow Milk's mind was practically already blank. He could feel the grinding of an impatient Pure Vanilla against his groin and he knew it wasn't gonna stop until he agreed. Still, he was enough of a brat to throw his head to the side and shut his mouth tightly.

"Oh don't be like that. Isn't this what you've been begging for this whole time? I bet you just need a little bit of special attention and you'll be fully trained won't you?"

He had almost forgotten what it felt like to have Pure Vanilla sucking on his neck like this. It's was as if he was trying to force a 'yes' straight from Shadow Milk's throat. He was fervent and unrelenting, grazing his teeth over all the spots Shadow Milk wanted to be bitten. He squirmed, desperate for friction that he wouldn't be allowed to have.

"Nilla! Nilly! Please! Just give me your dick witchesdamnit!"

"Alright, alright. Remind of the safeword again? It has been a long time afterall."

"Polkadot" Shadow Milk rolled his eyes. If Pure Vanilla was gonna be on top, there was barely a need for a safeword. Better safe than sorry he supposed. He did have a plethora of sharp edges that had a tendency to get out of control in situations like these.

He had expected Pure Vanilla to just take their clothes off and get it done with. During their time in the Spire sex was somewhat transactional. There was little need for foreplay since Shadow Milk would just seek Pure Vanilla out anytime he got horny. This time, it looked like Pure Vanilla was going to take his sweet time devouring what was rightfully his.

It was with slow precision that Pure Vanilla snaked his warm hands up Shadow Milk's torso under the band-tee that he was accustomed to sleeping in. His fingers trailed along each dip and curve that he could find, committing it to memory.

"Look at you. You're so perfect"

Oh. Is this the game they were playing? Shadow Milk wasn't a stranger to compliments, but this was different. The only other people who had seen him shirtless without his illusions had been the beasts. He could feel the muscles in his abdomen twitching in response to the praises Pure Vanilla gave freely with each kiss peppered along the expanse of blue skin. He even complimented places where the nerves had been too damaged to even feel the caresses anymore.

Shadow Milk had his hands held over his mouth firmly to keep the moans at bay. There was no way he was going to give Pure Vanilla the satisfaction of listening to his sex-drunk babbling. They hadn't even gotten to the main event yet and was already soaking himself through the breathable material of his briefs.

"This is unfair.. I'm leveling the playing field."

In reality, Shadow Milk was only getting impatient and he was ready to was pull that stupid nightgown off the blonde's head. He wanted to see what Pure Vanilla's shiny new body looked like in all it's glory. Before his awakening he had been relatively scrawny, but now? His waist was full and strong, his chest puffed out with a renewed sense of pride. He was attractive before with that perfect face of his, but this was almost more than he could handle.

"I hate you so much."

"Mhm.. I don't think your body agrees with you."

Pure Vanilla's hands had traveled lower where they now teased at Shadow Milk's waistband.

"Do you want me to keep going, bluebird?"

"Obviously!"

With a roll of his hips, Shadow Milk was forcing Pure Vanilla's hand lower until his fingers pressed gently at the warm entrance. He circled around the wet hole with reverence until he thought Shadow Milk was ready to take a single finger.

"Fuck.. it's been a couple months hasn't it?"

"Yes, but you're doing very well, dear. I wouldn't let you take anything I didn't think you could handle. But that does mean I want to prep you a little bit.. I can't be completely certain, but the awakening did change a lot about my physical form so.. I'm sure you understand what I'm hinting at."

"What, you don't think I can take your shiny new cock?"

"I didn't say that" Pure Vanilla pushed another finger in, this time letting his thumb rub tiny circles around Shadow Milk's clit that made him shudder. "I'll make it fit. You need to be rewarded for your efforts don't you?"

Pure Vanilla slowly began scissoring and stretching out the tight entrance as his other hand finished pulling down the briefs so Shadow Milk's folds were exposed to the chill of the outside world.

"Don't worry, sweetheart. Just a little longer and I'll be warming you up."

He pressed one palm firmly against Shadow Milk's stomach while he stroked at the sweet spot inside him that had those long eyelashes fluttering shut. Abruptly, he pulled his fingers out with a lewd squelch that had Shadow Milk whining for more.

Pure Vanilla finally had the decency to take off the last of his own garments so he could line himself up. He was right that it was grown ever so slightly girthier, though not obscenely so. Even still, it was absolutely blissful when Shadow Milk finally got his fill.

"Ah! S-stay still for a second. Witches, I'm out of practice"

Pure Vanilla leaned forward until his forehead pressed against the jester's and his hands rubbed soothingly along his sides.

"You feel amazing. You fit so perfectly around me don't you? Look at me when I fuck you"

Ironically, Pure Vanilla's choice of words was exactly what made it so hard for Shadow Milk to look him in the eye as he began to move, slow and steady. Even at a snail's pace, Shadow Milk felt overwhelmed. He could've sworn it didn't feel like this before. He couldn't imagine what it was going to feel like when Pure Vanilla figured out exactly what he could do with the Soul Jam.

The grunts and groans that tumbled out of Pure Vanilla's lips were music to Shadow Milk's ears even as he picked up the pace. His wings flapped contentedly in turn with every thrust and the blush on his cheeks matched that of Shadow Milk's in everything except hue.

"W-where should I..?"

"Inside! Ah! Fuck! Nilla! Inside!" He whined as he wrapped his legs around Pure Vanilla's waist and pulled him close until all he could do was grind until they were both twitching in their shared bliss.

Shadow Milk reveled in the momentary feeling of fullness as he gripped at Pure Vanilla's shoulders, forcing his head down into a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss that lasted long after they had ridden out their climaxes. Even so, Shadow Milk was still twitching in the afterglow and he wasn't eager to let Pure Vanilla pull out just yet.

"Stay still.." he groaned, pulling Pure Vanilla down to lay on top of him as he caught he breath.

"Are you alright, blue?"

"Mhmmm just let me bask"

Pure Vanilla's thumbs pressed small comforting circles into Shadow Milk's hips until they were both finally ready to untangle themselves.

"You really are beautiful. You took me so well" Pure Vanilla purred as he wiped up the remnants of his mess from where it had matted down the course hair on Shadow Milk's groin.

"You know it~ I'm simply irresistible"

"Of course you are" Pure Vanilla puffed out a sleepy laugh as he settled himself back into bed, pulling Shadow Milk against his chest.

The clack of heels on the linoleum was jarring considering how seldom Shadow Milk actually walked anywhere, but he couldn't calm his nerves as he thought about the group of cookies that would be arriving tomorrow. He had bitten his nails down until he no longer had any claws to speak of and the skin around his nails was red and scarred from tugging and picking at it relentlessly.

"I can't put you in the other realm. If anything happens to me while you're there, you'll end up wherever I go. I could take you back to the Spire but.. leaving you here is risky too, but if they don't know you're here.. maybe disguises..?"

There was a chalkboard in the middle of the meeting room that Pure Vanilla, Candy Apple, and Black Sapphire all stared at.

"Dear, I really don't think this is necessary. My friends may not trust you completely, but I'm sure they wouldn't go so far as to harm the children."

"But Black Sapphire isn't a child anymore! And.. Candy has been a child for.. a long time. Really, I should take them back to the Spire anyway. Now that they're outside they've been.. aging."

"I don't wanna go back! Not if you're not with us!" Candy Apple piped up.

"For once, I agree with her. If you were to crumble, the magic in the Spire will fizzle away and we'd be too far away for anyone here in Crispia to retrieve us. It'd be a different story if they sealed you in the Silver Tree again, but considering that you broke free once already..." Black Sapphire trailed off.

"Really, all of you, nothing is going to happen to separate or harm you"

Pure Vanilla's attempt at comfort drew the worried and distrustful looks of everyone else. Shadow Milk took a deep breath and stood up straight before speaking again.

"You're right. Nothing is going to harm them. I'll make sure of it."

With a wave of his arm the chalkboard had been cleared of all it's writing. He took the chalk in his hand again and drew up a plan.

"You're going to stick together at all time, alright? While there are guests, the most secure room in the castle should be Pure Vanilla's. I can leave a small rift open from there to the edge of the kingdom. Of course, I can open another portal to give you a signal if things start to get dicey. I want you to be ready to leave and rendezvous with Nilla as soon as possible in the village below. I'll check on you as often as I can sneak peeks without anyone noticing. Understand?"

The siblings' determination was absolute as they agreed in unison.

"Pure Vanilla. If I find out that any one of those half-cookies has so much as insulted my children," the skin on Shadow Milk's face had become more of a goopy black substance that made him look utterly uncanny in combination with how it slid around his exposed bones. "I won't hesitate to make sure the rest of their short little lives will be a living nightmare." With a blink his normal face and happy smile had returned, "Got it?"

Pure Vanilla didn't look nearly as uncomfortable as the form usually made cookies, but his lips had pressed together in a tight, thin line. There was a crease in brow, but if he was angry, he didn't express it .

"I.. can't condone that specifically, but I suppose if I believed my subjects might be in peril, I would be equally frantic. Especially ones so near and dear to me."

–––

Today was the day. During the early morning, Shadow Milk had run through the contingency plan with Sapphire and Candy a few more times. Dark Cacao was the first to arrive, but before he left with Vanilla to greet him, he made sure to hug the kids extra tight. Just in case. He had no way of even knowing if he would make it through the night to get to the proper council tommorow. Everyone might be arriving today, but Pure Vanilla in his eternal kindness figured they would all be too tired from the journey to immediately be discussing life and death. Shadow Milk was pleased to have one more day to prepare for his heartfelt speech on why it was simply easier to leave the Soul Jam of Truth with Pure Vanilla. He was sure Pure Vanilla wanted one more day to put a proper label on the complex relationship they had.

They hadn't exactly discussed specifics, and even if Pure Vanilla brought it up, Shadow Milk didn't know exactly how to describe what he felt. Love felt like too much commitment. The word itself felt heavy. Every time he said he loved something (always ironically or for dramatic effect, mind you), there was a tiny, nagging voice in the back of his mind reminding him that the true object of his affections would never truly be able to return them. Shadow Milk simply wasn't made to love things. He wasn't made to be loved. And now that he had turned into this, he was sure to destroy anything that dared to try and love him.

When they were alone, it was easy to simply refer to Vanilla as his 'other half'. It was straight and to the point. Terms like 'boyfriend' certainly felt too young for old men like them and was far too romantic for Shadow Milk's comfort. But he equally hated when Pure Vanilla simply called him 'friend'. He didn't want to be friends. Surely they were something other than friends. Everyone was Pure Vanilla's friend. Shadow Milk wanted to be special.

Even if he couldn't put a name on what Pure Vanilla was to him, he still stuck to him like glue, thanking all the forces of nature that the healer had promised not to let go of his hand. Dark Cacao was brooding and overall much too tall for Shadow Milk's liking. He had an entire procession of guards, half of whom were already setting up an ugly campsite on the front lawn. Nobody in the entire looked even slightly sweet. It made Shadow Milk's nose bunch up in distaste at the bitter expressions on everyone's faces. Even Dark Cacao who should be overjoyed to see his good friend looked contemplative at best and outright mad at worst.

"Pure Vanilla Cookie. I was under the impression that the Beast would be chained during our discussions. If it has broken away from its confinements, please allow me to remedy the situation"

As the sharp edge of Dark Cacao's sword pointed at Shadow Milk's neck, he aptly used his free hand to grab his hair and pull his head right off. Maybe a trick like that would lighten the mood. It did always seem to be a crowd pleaser.

"Woah pal! Careful where you swing that thing! You might hurt somebody"

He didn't reattach his head until the sword was lowered.

"Dark Cacao Cookie, it is a pleasure to see you again. I can assure you, Shadow Milk has never been trapped by chains or anything of the sort. He is a dear friend to me much like you are"

"Aww, Nilly, how sweet! Though I think I'm little bit more dear to you than others, right?"

Shadow Milk nudged Pure Vanilla with his shoulder teasingly and batted his eyelashes.

"No. I value all of my friends equally, though perhaps in different ways."

That was not the answer he wanted. A growl almost bubbled up from his throat before Dark Cacao interrupted.

"Does that thing ever unhand you?"

The growl was directed at Dark Cacao now. Thing? Really? He hadn't been called that for a very very long time, and he had wanted to keep it that way. He refused to let those tainted memories affect him ever again.

"He said it would make him feel more safe, so I promised not to let go until he felt comfortable-"

"Oh my Witches! Or until your lackies start trampling over my milkcrowns! I just planted those!"

Shadow Milk had to shoo a group of disgruntled Dark Cacao warriors away from his injured flowers before he began to nurse any of the damaged blossoms.

"These are very delicate! This is the only patch of ground with the right soil density for them to thrive! You ruffians just can't enjoy anything nice, can you?! These are my dau- MY favorites!"

As Shadow Milk tended to his small patch of injured flowers, Dark Cacao raised an eyebrow and looked to Pure Vanilla speaking quietly enough so only he could hear.

"It seems different from what you describe while in Beast-Yeast"

"He has grown quite a lot"

Pure Vanilla looked on fondly, pure adoration on his features.

–––

One ancient down. Three more to go. Dark Cacao had returned to camp to finish setting up and to train. Whatever did he need to train for. Shadow Milk rolled his eyes. He was back together with Pure Vanilla while they waited for an airship that was apparently transporting Hollyberry Cookie. The only thing Shadow knew about her was that Eternal Sugar Cookie had apparently played a rather intense game with her. Sugar must have been fond of her if she had tried to lock Hollyberry up so tightly in her jewelry box.

He heard boisterous laughing long before he was able to see where it was coming from. Contrary to Dark Cacao, Hollyberry had only brought a single gruff-looking escort with her. Even then, he seemed awfully weak compared to the woman he was accompanying even if she reeked of berry juice. Though Shadow Milk hadn't been much better in the couple years before his fall.

"Pure Vanilla Cookie! Bring it in friend!"

Hollyberry wasted no time in snatching up Pure Vanilla and hoisting him into the air in a tight embrace. He was flailing, though laughing, long before she put him down.

"Then this must be Eternal Sugar's friend, right?"

It was disorienting just how quickly he was pulled out of the air and had a rough set of knuckles mussing around in his hair. The scream of terror he unleashed was only genuine for a moment before it was overridden by annoyance that his bangs had been knocked out of place. When he was finally released, he was eager to find solace in Pure Vanilla cloak as he open an arm specifically for Shadow Milk's refuge.

Even playful gestures like that, if preformed by particularly strong and reckless cookies, were enough to leave him sore and aching. Vanilla's proximity helped with some of those side effects.

He summoned a mirror in his hair to fix his appearance as he spoke.

"Jeez, I can't believe Sugar wanted to keep you of all people. Did Pavlova let a stray arrow hit her or something?"

When he was satisfied with his appearance again, he tossed the mirror behind him and smirked when he heard it shatter. Pure Vanilla winced at the noise.

"You're going to clean that up, right?"

"Yeah yeah, already done. It's somewhere in the other realm now. Anywho! Who's tall, dark, and brooding over here?"

The armored cookie next to Hollyberry readjusted his gauntlet at the mention of himself.

"Wildberry Cookie. I will protect the Queen-Mother at all costs."

"Huh. Mmkay, you sure you're a Hollyberrian? The Dark Cacao warriors are that-a-way!"

Shadow Milk pointed to the large tent he could already see would be blocking the sunlight to a majority of the front garden. Are they trying to piss him off?

"Very funny." Wildberry was not amused.

He was especially unamused when Hollyberry slapped a strong hand against his back with a laugh.

"That is funny! Really, I keep telling you to lighten up! I brought a very good blend of berry juice that I'm confident will loosen you up! Eternal Sugar Cookie loved it, so I'm sure this blue fellow will too!"

It turned out that Holly and Sugar had actually gotten along rather well at least once she had been released from the garden. It was good to hear what his friend had been up to for all these years. Apparently her garden was actually doing quite well, though Pavlova and Sugarfly were a little worse for wear. Shadow Milk was sure she'd only locked them down a little harder after her imprisonment. Afterall, they must have been completely lost without her to tend to the garden. She was only keeping them safe. They'd be absolutely overjoyed once they all calmed down a bit and realized that Sugar hadn't really changed that much.

They all talked so long that the group had ended up sitting in Hollyberry's guest room with Pure Vanilla's arm wrapped firmly around Shadow Milk's waist. Everytime he recalled a particularly fond memory of Eternal Sugar, Pure Vanilla's grasp would tighten ever so slightly. He wondered if maybe he was mad? He was just telling stories about his old friends and most of them were from before their fall, so what could he possibly be mad about? Back then, they all avoided hurting cookies like the plague. Even now, Sugar had never actually crumbled anybody.

His train of thought was interrupted when a small castle servant knocked at the door to tell them that Golden Cheese Cookie had arrived. Pure Vanilla and Shadow Milk excused themselves to greet her, leaving the Hollyberrians to settle in.

"What was that all about?"

Shadow Milk rubbed at his side as they walked.

"I'm sorry, dear, I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"I'm right as rain! Don't know what you could possibly be crying over though"

"Oh! I'm not upset with you! It's only... you and Eternal Sugar Cookie.. You speak of her very fondly. Is it possible that you were ever..?"

Shadow Milk gasped at the realization.

"Oh my! Nilly! You're jealous!"

"No, I'm not.. hmm well.. perhaps I am. I've never really felt like this before."

"Hah! Now you know how I feel everytime is see your favorite flower"

"Hehe.. that was.. a long time ago bluebird. But if it makes you feel better, I can certainly make sure to give you some extra attention while she's here"

Shadow Milk preened in mid-air, floating happily in circles around his other half.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, everything between Sugar and I happened a long time ago too. We were uh, batting for different teams if you get what I mean"

"Oh." Pure Vanilla blushed slightly and looked away with a tiny sparkle of pride in his eyes, "I see."

–––

Shadow Milk insisted on checking on the children (who were completely fine) quickly before they headed down to greet Golden Cheese in the foyer.

She was completely radiant, literally. The way her hair and wings gleamed like gold almost made it hard to look at her. She kept her arrow-shaped spear held at attention at her side as she gave Shadow Milk an appraising glare. He was giving her an equally intense stare, but his was directed at her wings. Did everyone he know have wings these days? Hers were especially intriguing though.

"Just what are you staring at?" She tapped the spear against the ground to emphasize her annoyance.

"Your wings.. they don't have feathers, but they're different from insects or any type of wing with a membrane. What exactly are they made of?"

Shadow Milk floated forward a few inches, trying to examine them closer with an outstretched hand. They were retracted and pulled close to her body before he could make contact.

"You dare make an attempt to touch me? After your little friend tore the old ones off, what makes you think I'd let you anywhere near them, beast?"

Shadow Milk recoiled at the information, flitting to hide halfway behind Pure Vanilla, his hands grasping loosely at his shoulders. What was she talking about?

"Wait, are you saying Burning Spice.."

The digust and horror on his features must have been abundantly clear by the way Golden Cheese lowered her guard. Shadow Milk couldn't help but trace one hand over the burt half of his body. He barely noticed when Pure Vanilla's hand came up to rest atop his own.

"Hah, wow.. what did you do to him, huh? He got me pretty good too back in the day but that's because I decided I was way too good to date a brute like him!"

"Really? All that because of.. a breakup..?" Pure Vanilla's sad eyes made Shadow Milk laugh nervously. Suddenly he didn't want to talk about it anymore.

"Haha.. yeeahhhh. I mean, back then he had like six arms! But yeah.. not really my type. Probably my fault, really! He was always a bit cranky! I was playing with fire afterall! Hahah!"

Nobody else was laughing. Why.. why weren't they laughing?

"You know get it? Fire?" The silence stretch on. "Wow, alright, tough crowd.."

"Pure Vanilla Cookie, I assume you know what he's talking about? I don't see any signs of damage on him! I have no tolerance for such blatant lies!"

"No, I assure you, he's telling the truth, my friend, but this topic doesn't exactly seem to bring up.. happy memories for either one of you."

"Yeah.." Shadow Milk rubbed at the burnt side of his chest absentmindedly. No matter how hard he pressed, there was no feeling.

Golden Cheese looked similarly affected, stretching her wings every which way like she was trying to assure herself that they were still there.

"So, uh, if he really.. did that, how did you get them back? I know I've been gone a long time, but I don't think modern medicine has evolved so much that you can just go reattaching limbs like that"

"Ahh well, I suppose the awakening can do many wonderous things! If Pure Vanilla can sprout wings, why shouldn't I be able to regrow the ones I already had?"

He supposed that made sense. Awakening and falling were two sides of the same coin as far as Shadow Milk understood. All of the beasts appearances changed after the fall. Even him. He pulled a lock of his hair over his shoulder and scowled. The eyes blinking away inside followed him everywhere he went. He wished that someday they would finally leave him alone.

"Right.." He was tired.

"Well, I should see myself to my room! Flying here from the Golden City is much more tiring than I imagined! And I can't imagine you should keep White Lily Cookie waiting much longer either."

Shadow Milk had been trying to forget about her all day. Just hearing her name was enough to have him flaring his nostrils in irritation.

"Uhg! You can't be serious! Nilla, do I really have to see her?"

"I'm afraid so, bluebird."

"Arg! No no no! I don't want to!"

"Are you saying you'd prefer for me to be alone with her?" Pure Vanilla perked up one eyebrow to question Shadow Milk.

"Absolutely not! You! Ohhh I hate you! Fine! Have it your way! But I'm not letting go of you even for a second! I want her to know that she absolutely cannot have what's mine!"

Shadow Milk had already wrapped himself back up in Pure Vanilla's cloak and had his arm snuggly intertwined with the other's.

"My! What a greedy fellow!" Shadow Milk had almost forgotten about their audience. He though she said she was going to bed. He assumed she was insulting him, but her laughter said otherwise, "It looks like I'll need to share one of my precious treasures, won't I?"

Shadow Milk didn't understand anything about Golden Cheese or how what anything she said was funny, but Pure Vanilla was laughing anyway. Whatever. As long as Pure Vanilla was happy, he could put up with her clearly inferior sense of humor.

–––

He could absolutely NOT put up with being in this disgusting greenhouse. He pressed his nose into Pure Vanilla's sleeve to mask the smell, but it wasn't nearly as effective as he had hoped.

There were at least three mistakes he could spot in the summoning circle that Pure Vanilla had drawn up, but he didn't bother to correct them. He wished there were more. If he could cause even the slightest bit of breeze, he could change the spell just enough for it to completely crumble crumble her on transit. He couldn't fathom why in Witches name he didn't. It's not like Pure Vanilla could blame him for every tiny gale of wind. But he'd be completely inconsolable when he found out what happened.

The rune glowed a bright blue under their feet. Shadow Milk closed his eyes and pressed in close. From this angle, his Soul Jam was shielded more or less by Pure Vanilla's shoulder. He couldn't resist the urge to cast just one.. maybe two shield spells. Nobody could see the dual bubbles surrounding them, but if Pure Vanilla and White Lily truly had studied at his academy, they'd be able to sense them without even thinking about it.

There was an ethereal flash as Pure Vanilla activated the spell. The blue light rose upwards from the ground slowly materializing into a distastefully hideous cookie. She blinked into existence with a small shake, situating herself in her new surroundings. The faint smile on her lips was only visible until she realized that Pure Vanilla wasn't the only person who had come to greet her. The hush between them was nearly audible. Pure Vanilla clearing his throat was enough to startle both of them.

"White Lily Cookie, it's good to see you again. How are the fairy cookies fairing?"

"Pure Vanilla.. should we really discuss this in front of him..? I can handle taking him back to the tree if you don't think you can stomach it."

Shadow Milk's hand wandered to his neck. His claws dug into the fabric of his ruff. Even one of his muscles tensed until it looked like he was physically shaking.

"I know you think you're doing the right thing and, you've always been so compassionate but.. think about Elder Faerie Cookie. I fear you're being tricked by him again." White Lily took a step forward with an outstretched hand.

Shadow Milk bristled at the accusation, but his throat felt tight. He couldn't speak without feeling sick. Even without speaking he was trying not to retch. He bit at his tounge to keep his gag reflex under control.

"Bluebird..? Are you alright dear? You look pale.."

"The smell is just make me nauseous.." he choked out followed by a tiny gag.

He may have been lying about why he felt so sick, but the nausea was certainly real. Pure Vanilla shared a small look with White Lily as he readjusted so he was essentially holding Shadow Milk in a bridal carry. Witches above, was he really feeling so weak that he needed to be carried? He had talked to a lot of people today, and they did save the worst for last but this just felt pathetic.

"Let's take a seat inside" Pure Vanilla's fingers stroked through Shadow Milk's hair as they walked.

White Lily followed far behind, a terrified wobble in her legs.

–––

The couches in Pure Vanilla's home were as soft and comfortable as they had always been, especially when Shadow Milk could lay his head in Pure Vanilla's lap. The hand rubbing gentle circles on his abdomen was definitely helping too. He might have started purring if White Lily wasn't sitting right across from them.

"Pure Vanilla, I just can't help feeling that you're making a mistake. He's clearly using you so he can reclaim the Soul Jam!"

Shadow Milk sighed and pressed his palms into his eyes to calm his headache.

"I already told you. I've had plenty of opportunities to take it. If I really wanted it, I would've take it by now. Are we done yet? I want to go bed."

"You are so cruel Shadow Milk Cookie. How dare you take advantage of Pure Vanilla's kindness!"

"I haven't taken advantage of shit! You should see him after a long day! I'm the one getting used!"

"Shadow Milk! These are not details she needs to hear!" Pure Vanilla swatted at Shadow Milk's arm before disgruntledly returning his hand to the jester's stomach.

"You can't be serious. Pure Vanilla you can't really be sharing a bed with that.. that murderer!"

Pure Vanilla took a deep breath before opening his mouth.

"I know that you are still hurting, my friend. Shadow Milk has done many irreversible things, but.. he's capable of sweetness. And he's deserving of love like anyone else. All of the beasts are. They have led a very lonely existence, even when they were surrounded by other cookies. I think we underestimate the burden that was placed on them before they fell. I understand that doesn't justify what he has done, but what further atonement can he give you? Watching him suffer will not bring back Elder Faerie Cookie."

Clearly White Lily was unconvinced, but she nodded her head and excused herself. Shadow Milk took the opportunity to let out a sigh of relief and let himself relax.

"You've had a very long day, Bluebird, but thankyou for trying. I don't doubt that tomorrow will be equally challenging, if not more so, but I will be with you the entire time. You do not have to do this alone."

Pure Vanilla cupped Shadow Milk's face in his hand and place a chaste and reassuring kiss on his forehead.

"Yeah.." he leaned into the warm hands on his cheeks as he thought about what to do next, "you should get the kitchen staff to deliver dinner to everyone in their rooms, and then I'm going to bed. I'll conjure beds for Candy and Sapphire. There's enough space in your room for at least five!" He scoffed with a small smile.

"Actually there is one more thing I need to discuss with you."

"Uhg! What is it now? I'm tired!"

"How should I introduce you tomorrow?"

"Uh.. I thought we did that today? I've got a name, and I personally don't mind you wearing it out all you want~"

Pure Vanilla's chuckle was exactly what he needed to hear.

"That's not what I meant, but I'll be sure to remember that. What I mean is that many of the others are sure to have doubts about what we are to each other. You aren't exactly subtle."

"Oh this is the 'what are we' question isn't it? You've been reading too much. You're just my other half. We're bound to be infatuated with each other. The Soul Jams want to be reunited, so as long as we're under their influence, it's only natural that we crave each other's presence."

"Is that what you truly believe? You haven't thought at all about alternatives? We are not slaves to our Soul Jams, Shadow Milk. If you think your Soul Jam wants something.. I'm willing to bet you want it too."

Shadow Milk was exhausted and this wasn't what he wanted to he talking about. He could get up and leave any time he wanted. He didn't. He stretched his arms in front of him and stared at the sharp nails at the end of each skinny finger.

"I don't know, Nilla. I wasn't made to feel emotions. I was never supposed to want things. I'm not even really a cookie, you know that? We beasts.. we're more like broken toys to the Witches. We weren't even given proper names. For hundreds of years I was just the Fount of Knowledge. I'm not capable of.. loving you."

The word felt wrong coming from his mouth. Normally he wouldn't say any of the things he was saying now, but he wanted to get this conversation over with.

"You.. don't love Candy Apple and Black Sapphire?"

"What? What are you getting at? That's.. that's different!"

"How?"

Shadow Milk opened his mouth for a rebuttal, but he had nothing. When did he even start truly caring for those two? He was sure he would have denied the word 'love' as an accurate descriptor just a few years ago, but.. the warm feelings he got when he remembered the very first time he held them in his arms couldn't be called anything else.

"What do you think of simply.. partner for now? I think it gets the point across rather well." Pure Vanilla suggested.

Shadow Milk thought it over for a moment, mouthing the word. It did sound better than any of the other alternatives he had considered.

Sleep was a welcome release from the woes of the day, but it still didn't come naturally. Shadow Milk tossed and turned all night waking frequently from nightmares. Every thirty minutes or so, he would pad across the room just to check that Candy Apple and Sapphire were still soundly tucked in their own temporary beds. If this meeting went well, then they could return to their own rooms. He could even show them off as just about the only thing he had ever been proud of. But right now, their relationship to Shadow Milk was a liability. Pure Vanilla's sleep-talking told him that he wasn't having very good dreams either.

In fact, it was possible that neither of them would've gotten any sleep at all if Candy Apple hadn't crawled herself into bed between them. Shadow Milk curled himself around her small body protectively and Pure Vanilla mirrored the gesture, wrapping her in a tight cacoon of safety. He didn't remember when it happened but by the time they woke up, even Black Sapphire had found himself a space at the foot of the bed.

That morning felt even more somber than the one before. Everyone moved at a snail's pace, and the kids didn't even bother changing out of their pajamas. It just wasn't worth it. Shadow Milk obviously couldn't get away with doing the same, but the clothing he wore was significantly more comfortable than his usual attire. In fact, the black robe was extremely similar to what the Fount of Knowledge used to wear. It felt fitting to walk to his execution in the same clothes he was born in.

He felt numb even when Pure Vanilla's hand snaked into his own, leading them slowly down the long, winding corridors. He felt like a dead man walking.

They stopped just in front of the large doors to the Solarium of Unity.

"Shadow Milk, look at me. Take a breath dear"

It wasn't until then that Shadow Milk even realized he had been holding his breath. Pure Vanilla took both of his hands in his own, squeezing gently. His mis-matched eyes were wide open.

"I'm here with you. You're not alone. I'll be with you every step of the way, no matter what they decide. And.. I'm fairly confident you already have a majority vote, my love."

Pure Vanilla offered a small, reassuring smile. It was filled with warmth down to the very core.

"What? Pretty sure you and Hollyberry are the only two who are even willing to give me a chance."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that" There was a knowing smirk playing on Pure Vanilla's lips, "you don't know my friends nearly as well as I do, and I know Golden Cheese left your interaction quite pleased. Not only that, but I think Dark Cacao is warming up to the idea of your stay as well."

Shadow Milk clearly wasn't convinced but he nodded anyways.

"You are wonderful, Bluebird." Pure Vanilla affirmed with a peck on the cheek.

"You're handsome, and loving, and a wonderful father. You're surprisingly kind, you're intelligent, and utterly brilliant."

Each kind word was accompanied with a kiss until Shadow Milk was shaking with laughter and was trying to bat Pure Vanilla away.

"Okay okay, I get it! You can stop now!" Shadow Milk poked at the healer's sides drawing an equally relaxed laugh from the other.

They clutched onto each other in their joy even when the situation was dire. They laughed so loud they must have drawn the attention of the ancients inside because they didn't stop laughing until Hollyberry opened the door.

"There you two are! You're looking awfully jolly! Am I interrupting something?" There was a twinkle of mischief in her eyes, leaving the door wide open for the two of them to enter.

"No no of course not. Shadow Milk was only in need of a little pep talk."

"You have a funny definition of 'talk' Nilly!"

Shadow Milk was certainly in a better mood now, and the three of them entered the room in high spirits. Everyone was staring, but what was a show without an audience? As Hollyberry took her seat, Pure Vanilla stood behind his own and Shadow Milk followed suit. They stood side by side, hands still firmly clasped together. Pure Vanilla waited for the others' to quite down before he began his spiel.

"My dear friends! It truly has been such a long time since we were all gathered together in the same place! I only wish it were under slightly more light-hearted pretenses. Even so, I pray that this meeting goes well for all of us so that we may enjoy the rest of our time together at ease. With that, I'm sure you're all aware why I have called you all here. While I have spent the most time with him, I do value your opinions as well, so I'd like to introduce you all to my dear partner Shadow Milk Cookie."

Hearing Pure Vanilla call him that out loud for the first time filled him with a sense of pride, but possibly even more so, anxiety.

"Aw shucks! Are we really sure we're solid on that term Nilly?" Shadow Milk had begun to float a little higher than before, wiping his sweaty palms on his robe and allowing Pure Vanilla a chance to sit down.

"Courting is a little overrated don't you think? Dating at our age? Why don't we just get on with the wedding already, am I right?"

He looked around the room for some kind of approval, but all he got was a snort from Hollyberry and a couple of raised eyebrows. Alright. Not a great start, but not terrible. He could work with this.

"I'm kidding!~ about the marriage, I mean. We are- I mean- you know.." Shadow Milk interlocked his fingers to get the message across. "Whatever, that doesn't matter!" With a snap of his fingers a circle of note cards appeared floating around him almost like a shield.

"When did you even what time to write those..?" Pure Vanilla asked.

Shadow Milk waved him away with a tiny sigh as he spun the cards until he found the one he was looking for, "there's always time for note cards."

"Hah! Well that doesn't remind me of anyone!" Golden Cheese gave Pure Vanilla a pointed look that had both of their wings fluttering from contentment.

"Alright, here we are! I, of course, am the glorious and magnanimous Shadow Milk Cookie! Hold for applause ~"

Pure Vanilla was the only one kind enough to humor him clapping his hands quietly for a few seconds.

"Once upon a time I was hailed as the all-mighty Fount of Knowledge! The Truthsayer! The holder of the complete Soul Jam of Knowledge! Until of course.. my friends and I all had some teeny tiny.. issues." Shadow Milk pinched his fingers together with an awkward and almost apologetic smile, "We were, how should I say, a little bit disillusioned with our place in the world. But! Might I remind you that we all served our time together in the Silver Tree! Truly, I've already learned my lesson!" Shadow Milk batted his eyelashes. "Nilly simply.. pushed me in the right direction! So really! I'm no threat! I am only *sniff* misunderstood!"

With that, he took his seat, looking like he was on top of the world after his completely downplayed retelling of events.

"This is absolutely ridiculous!" White Lily slammed her staff, her face red with anger, "you can't seriously believe him! He's the beast of deceit. Clearly he's playing dirty! Who knows what kind of spells he's been casting on Pure Vanilla Cookie?!"

"Excuse me? If he were under any magical influences you of all people should be able to tell!" Shadow Milk challenged.

White Lily ground her teeth together and her grip tightened on her staff, but she didn't respond.

"Well, White Lily Cookie? You are the most well-versed in magic. Is Pure Vanilla Cookie truly under a curse of some kind?" Dark Cacao questioned.

There was a beat of silence before, "No. He isn't."

A relieved sigh was shared by everyone at the table, even Shadow Milk and Pure Vanilla.

"Well I for one congratulate Pure Vanilla on finally finding a man!" Hollyberry raised her glass with a cheerful grin.

"I concur! He really doesn't seem like much of a threat, and he's very greedy!" Golden Cheese nodded in agreement.

"Hmm.. still, shouldn't we take the Soul Jam into custody? He won't need it anymore as long as he honestly doesn't have any untoward plans." Dark Cacao chimed in.

Shadow Milk's hands immediately shot up to cover his Soul Jam and he fled his seat to press his body against the upper corner of the room.

"Look at him! He's obviously guilty!" White Lily added, standing and pointing her staff directly at Shadow Milk's Soul Jam.

Black sludge-like bars split the corner Shadow Milk had claimed from the rest of the room. He had to blink rapidly to keep himself from falling into an all too familiar memory that started the same way. It was difficult to train his eyes on White Lily and keep her face from blending between the disapproving stares of the Witches or the hatred of Elder Faerie.

"Stay back! You can't have it!" Shadow Milk bared his teeth, white knuckling the brooch until his claws dug into his own skin.

"Not again.. Never again!" In his panic, he lost control of his own ability to float and fell down to the hard linoleum floor, hitting his nose on the way down.

The smell and taste of blood turned the scene on front of him on it's head. He was face to face with Elder Faerie again begging for forgiveness, pleading for freedom for himself and his friends. He was shackled. He couldn't breathe, reliving the white-hot pain of having his soul ripped in two. The screaming was blood-curdling and the screeching of his claws against the floor and wall made his teeth hurt.

"Bl... ir.... uebird... Bluebird!"

Shadow Milk scanned around trying to find the source of the voice. Before he knew what he was doing he was crawling toward it like an injured animal. He might as well have been one. He couldn't see his own hands. They could have been paws for all he knew.

"Feel your neck"

Slowly but surely his paws- no hands- were guided up to the bare skin of his neck. When did he take off his cloak..?

"There are no shackles."

The voice supported what Shadow Milk was feeling. The skin had a strange texture, but he could feel it air on it as he was rocked slowly back and forth.

"The Soul Jams are right here."

Each of his hands was placed on the cool gem stones. The comforting warmth of the larger one was enough to have him blinking his eyes back open. He half-gasped for air in Pure Vanilla's lap. Pure Vanilla? That's right. They were.. in the Solarium of Unity. They weren't even in Beast-Yeast.

"Are you back with us?" Pure Vanilla's voice was a soothing balm on Shadiw Milk's frazzled nerves.

He nodded with a groan and rubbed at his wet eyes. Was he crying..?

"Where's my..? 'M ugly. Let me cover up.."

The black overcloak was pressed into his hands by Hollyberry Cookie. All of the ancients save for White Lily had stayed in the room, though they shirked their weapons. He would never say it out loud, but he appreciated it. As soon as he had gotten the clock back on, pulling the high collar back up to cover his throat, he had his arms wrapped back around Pure Vanilla.

"The kids.." his voice was hoarse and his throat was sore, "They're.. they probably heard that.. we should.. go get them.."

"Shh.. let me handle it. You should rest. Your body isn't built to handle large transformations like that"

"Huh..? Nooo I went full beast?" He hid his face in Pure Vanilla's shoulder.

"I'm afraid so.."

"It was very impressive though, if that helps!" Golden Cheese did her best to be helpful. "Although.. if you don't mind me asking.. what are those scars..?"

"That's what happens when you disobey orders from the Witches." Shadow Milk was too tired to explain in any more depth than that.

"I apologize for my earlier suggestion, Shadow Milk Cookie. I was not aware that the Soul Jam was tied to your life force" Dark Cacao's voice seemed quieter than before.

Shadow Milk could only bring himself to grunt in response. The fatigue was already settling into his bones.

"Let's get you to bed!" Hollyberry leaned down and offered an arm to Shadow Milk.

Her and Pure Vanilla braced either side of him, keeping his wobbly legs from stumbling.

"You.. mentioned you have children?"

Hollyberry made a small attempt at small talk. It was a bit too long of a walk to spend in silence. Shadow Milk nodded weakly.

"Candy Apple and Black Sapphire. I took them in when they were younger. They're siblings." He yawned.

"Where were they yesterday?"

"I was tryin' keep them safe. They were jut in Nilly's room. I left a portal for them to get to the village down below in case things went South."

Hollyberry nodded in understanding.

"I understand your fears. I too am a mother and a grandmother above all else. As long as I'm here, those youngsters will be under my protection, got it?"

Even laughing hurt now, but he didn't mind that much. He felt warm. It wasn't the same kind of warmth that Pure Vanilla provided, but it was still.. happy. He wondered if this was what it was like to have friends. It left him smiling even as he was gently layed down on the bed.

–––

The next time he opened his eyes, he was being jostled awake by two familiar pairs of hands. Everywhere they made contact caused shoots of pain.

"Wakey wakey!"

"This is revenge for freaking us out yesterday!"

Shadow Milk kicked the covers away and practically howled at the two of them.

"I'm up, I'm up! That hurts you know!

He would normally rub away any of his sore spots when he woke up, but this morning, everything was sore. He could hardly raise a single finger. Black Sapphire had his hands on his hips and Candy Apple had hers crossed over her chest.

"Get out of bed. I swear to Witches, I cannot be expected to listen to any more of Pure Vanilla chatting away with those 'heros.' They will NOT shut up about some stupid dance they went to one time"

"It's soooooooo boringgggg!!!"

Candy Apple gave Shadow Milk one final shove that had him catapulting out of bed.

"If you want me to make it more interesting for you, you should really be treating me a litter nicer, don't you think?"

"No. We thought you were dead eight hours ago. You owe us" Black Sapphire glared at him.

"Fine fine! I'll be down in ten. Just let me fix myself.."

Shadow Milk floated over to the vanity mirror as the kids cautiously and suspiciously closed the door behind them. No doubt they would be timing him. The dark circles under his eyes needed concealer to look even somewhat presentable and his hair stuck out in so many different places that he doubted he could actually tame all of it. Anything he could think to wear made him feel sore just thinking about it. Elastics and spandex were a no-go, and cotton was too heavy. He ended up slinking out of the room in a silk bathrobe, his Soul Jam making one side fall open from thevweight of it. He didn't even bother to cover up his neck or chest. It didn't matter anyway. Everyone had already seen just how dilapidated he had become.

Floating was just as challenging as walking would have been. Why did the bedroom have to be so fucking far away from everything else in this Witches forsaken castle? He stumbled along, trailing his fingers along the walls to act as a support.

The dining room went silent when he finally staggered in, making a b-line for Pure Vanilla's lap. He slumped himself down, relying on Pure Vanilla to hold him upright enough to even make eyes contact the other cookies gawking at him.

Surpringly enough, White Lily was still here, though she was more or less silently pushing the food around her plate. Black Sapphire and Candy Apple seemed to have taken as much of a liking to Hollyberry as Shadow Milk himself had.

"Sapphyyy~ bring me coffee will ya?"

"What? Why do I have to do it? Make Candy do it!"

"Candy can't reach the counter."

Shadow Milk could practically hear Black Sapphire's eye twitching. He did ask to be entertained, didn't he?

"Candy Apple can FLY!"

"Well one of you needs to get a cup of coffee into my hands before I keel over! If you're bored enough to drag me out of my much deserved beauty sleep then you can deal with the consequences!"

Sapphire's cheeks puffed up with air, but somehow a mug found it's way into Shadow Milk's hands. He pounded the black liquid back in a single gulp like it was liquor.

"Hah~ much better! So! What's the verdict, huh, Nilly? You gonna lock me up again? Banish me back to Beast-Yeast? Burry me alive? Reunite the Soul Jams so you can keep me on a pretty golden leash? What's it gonna be?"

His cheerful voice was in direct contrast to the many horrible atrocities he described. As long as he was making everyone uncomfortable it was a win in his book. Besides, it made Candy giggle and that was all that really mattered.

"No, no, of course not. This is your home and it will remain that way for as long as you wish. However... we did discuss that perhaps therapy might be a good option considering.."

Shadow Milk slapped his hand over Pure Vanilla's mouth and gave an offended gasp. He pointed an accusatory finger at the bat siblings and brought his hand over his chest like he was in extreme dismay.

"You! You brought me to an intervention!"

He shot to his feet, or rather, he attempted to. In reality he got up and immediately regretted it, clutching at his back and wincing.

"Ow ow ow!"

The following laughter was significantly less satisfying considering it was all directed at him. He grumbled as he fell back onto Pure Vanilla, wrapping his arms around his neck with a growl.

"You're friends are mean to me."

"Well it's hardly our fault if you're an old man!" Golden Cheese gave him a glinting smile.

"Shadow Milk Cookie." White Lily's voice cut through the happy atmosphere like a knife.

It made him flinch.

"Yesterday you were screaming his name. What was your connection to Elder Faerie Cookie? Why were you acting like you were afraid of him? You.. how dare you suggest that he would.." Her jaw clenched and her eyes looked bloodshot.

She was searching for answers. Her gaze shot through Shadow Milk very core. He felt chilled.

"H-hey come on now! We were having a good time! Lighten up! Do we really have to do this.. right now..?" Shadow Milk's hands subconsciously pulled Black Sapphire and Candy Apple to either side of him.

"Answer me!" She screamed, banging her fist against the table. "What game are you playing here? Why were you begging for your life when he should've been the one begging for his?!"

Shadow Milk's hands shook as he ushered the kids out of the kitchen. This was not a conversation they needed to hear. They already knew far too much about the tragedies he had brought about. He wanted to set a better example for them. And he didn't want them to know how weak he had once been.

"You don't know as much as you think you do." He said calmly, stilling his breath as he took his own actual seat.

This felt like too serious of a story to tell snuggled up all cozy on the lap of a saint.

"Elder Faerie Cookie has been around for as long as the Silver Tree has. He was created just like we beasts when Burning Spice was the first to fall."

He used a whisp of magic to weave the story into a lifelike movie that danced along the table.

"We knew why Spice needed to be locked away, but.. we didn't realize how long it would take. By the time 100 years had passed, Salt was beginning to get angry. We all begged Elder Faerie to let Spice go. But the Witches didn't react well when Salt refused to speak again in retaliation. They had disobeyed a direct order. So they too were chained away. Having lost two of her friends, Sugar could no longer bring herself to provide happiness to her subjects, and Flour decided that nothing really mattered if all we were was tools built to be discarded once we outlasted our usefulness. I just couldn't take it anymore. Cookies came seeking answers but only left angry and disappointed when I told them the truth about what happened to the others. So I lied. And I kept lying until I couldn't distinguish my lies from reality. The Witches caught me, took me to the tree, and Elder Faerie's was the last face I saw before I was condemned."

The illusions dissipated with a gentle wave of his hand. He had missed storytelling, but not like this.

"We trusted him. We cried on his shoulder when Spice committed the original sin, but when we needed him he abandoned us. He did his duty, but it wasn't kind. If you really think I didn't mourn him just as much as you did, then you're sorely mistaken."

White Lily stood and left in silence. Shadow Milk rubbed his hands along his face. Why must people push him the way they do?

"What do you mean you weren't meant to feel?"

After an extremely long, extremely awkward silence, Hollyberry was the first to speak.

"Yes, I find it hard to believe that any creature should be born without emotions" Golden Cheese added.

"Even the Dark Cacao warriors are subject to emotional outbursts" Dark Cacao nodded along.

"Well don't ask me! I didn't make the rules! We weren't really 'born' in the first place! We just... didn't exist, and then we did. We were all punished by our own bodies for anything other than complete contentment in our roles."

Pure Vanilla placed his hand gently over top of Shadow Milk's.

"What do you mean.. punished?"

Shadow Milk ran a hand through his hair, pulling all of it to one side. If he closed his eyes he could almost imagine that it hadn't changed at all, even if he feel the blinking of the eyes under his fingers. It brought sad smile to his face.

"My hair.. wow, it used to sparkle. Shine like the stars~ my little flocks would all gather round and they would spend hours just marveling at it~"

He opened his eyes hoping that it would have magically returned to its original form but was only met with disappointment.

"Haha! Yeah, but then I scared 'em pretty bad when it all went sour! It was funny, really."

The laughter he barked out didn't sound genuine. It wasn't genuine. He could remember it like it was yesterday; the children had all run away from him in terror, and he was left alone clutching at the newly-blackened strands.

"But yknow! Now I have eyes in the back my head to watch when Nilly sneaks Candy Apple an extra plate of dessert" He winked.

Pure Vanilla laughed nervously at the accusation, "in my defense, she told me it was her bakeday."

Shadow Milk raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

"Ah, my sweet little liar! I'm so proud" He pretended to wipe a tear from the corner of his eye and leaned back in the chair.

"When are their actual bakedays? I want to be certain to get them gifts they'll like."

"Don't tell them this, but.. I actually have no idea. Candy got it in her head somehow that she was 'born from the first lie' so I tried to figure out when that was and we've been celebrating on June eighteenth since then. As for Sapphire, well that was their adoption day, August seventeenth."

"What about you Shadow Milk? I'll send you a great berry juice when it comes around!" Hollyberry's smile was nearly infectious.

"Duh! Didn't I already tell you? My bakeday is! Drumroll please" He batted his hands playfully against the table and summoned a smaller pair of actual snare drums to join in alongside him. "Never! If I had to say, I'm really not sure if there was a proper calender until a few years after we came out of the oven, but we also came out fully grown so it's not like it really mattered. Even if there was a date for it, I certainly wouldn't celebrate something like that! It sucked! Do you know what it's like to know literally everything before everything even exists? Bleck!"

He feigned a gag at the thought.

"Huh! I would've thought someone like you would take any opportunity to be showered in treasures!" Golden Cheese bellowed, flapping her wings outward as though they themselves could rain gold down upon him.

"Eh, I can pretty much make whatever I want" He shrugged. "But! I do like being showered in praise and adoration!"

He was sick of sitting in his own seat. The serious talk was primarily over, so it felt natural to be somewhere more comfortable, such as floating lazily behind Pure Vanilla, wrapping his arms around his neck and breathing in the sweet scent that lingered in his hair.

"Oh? Do I not compliment you enough already?" Pure Vanilla teased.

"You only do it because you pity me! You should've seen me back then!"

Then the thought occurred to him. He pushed himself backwards and brought his hand to his chin, trying to remember where he had put it.

"Actually.. Give me two minutes! And hold onto your Soul Jam, this might sting a little. It's been a while since I went back to the Spire, but I'm not sure what box I put it in.."

The latter half of his sentence trailed off into mumbles as he flitter through a portal into his old room in the Spire. Wow, it really had been a while. A layer of dust seemed to cover every surface it could get its hands on. Furthermore, he was absolutely right. It did sting being this far away. Sometimes he forgot just how far the distance was between the two kingdoms. How ironic was it that the halves of each Soul Jam had been separated like this for so long? In any case, he was on a mission, no matter how tightly the Soul Jam tried to tug him home. Home. Huh. He supposed Pure Vanilla had said that the castle was his home now too, didn't he?

Books and boxes flew across the room kicking up dust that made him wheeze with each breath. His muscles were still sore and the ache of the brooch hanging off his robe made it difficult to focus, but the pink scrapbook was impossible to miss given that it sat on the opposite side of the color wheel to anything else Shadow Milk possessed. Once it was in his grasp, he didn't leave himself time for goodbyes to the now dilapidated Spire. Instead, he found himself pulled backwards surprisingly violently through his portal, hurtling back into the kitchen like a wingless bird. The wind was completely knocked out of him when he plummeted face-up into Pure Vanilla's lap.

"Found.. it.." he held the scrap book up weakly with water welling in his eyes, the rest of his body laying limply across Vanilla's thighs.

"Oh dear!"

–––

"What on Earthbread was that? Pure Vanilla isn't nearly sturdy enough to handle that!" Dark Cacao rasped.

Shadow Milk's head spun and his back felt like it needed more than a few ice packs.

"Oh, I was just TRYING to break his legs with my spine! OBVIOUSLY I DIDN'T MEAN TO!"

He cringed just trying to sit himself upright, but at least he had the scrapbook. It was probably the only truly valuable thing that had remained in the Spire.

"The Soul Jams don't seem to enjoy being too far apart. I'm not nearly as affected as Shadow Milk is though, so my best guess is that our time together may have intensified the pull on his end" Pure Vanilla explained calmly while he straighted his partner, cooling his back with a soothing frost spell.

"Well, whatever you have must be pretty important if you went all that way to get it!"

Hollyberry was practically champing at the bit to see whatever trinket Shadow Milk had returned with. She had already more or less snatched the book away to flip through the pages.

"It's a scrap book from Sugar. She made one for all of us. We had a lot more time in the early days. There were a lot fewer cookies who actually needed our help."

Shadow Milk sighed a breath of relief from the cold of Pure Vanilla's hands working their magic on his lower back.

"This was you?" Golden Cheese pointed at a group picture in disbelief.

"Woof! I really haven't seen these in a while! But the proof is in the pudding! The hair! The bod! The perfect, absolutely flawless dough!"

He tugged a little at his robe, suddenly feeling self-conscious. He regretted being in such a mood that morning. If he had more than a couple minutes to think, he wouldn't have actually worn this. He pulled Pure Vanilla's hands away from his back and used them as a second barrier to the view of his front so he could subtly rearrange his appearance. It was just a few simple touch-ups; pulling the robe tighter so that his chest was was covered, brushing his hair to the front subverted attention away from his bare throat, he even added a pair of cozy socks and slippers. It's wasn't that strange. Even if it did age him significantly, he was old, and he had a reputation for running cold. He could only hope no one would notice or at least question the changes. Well, he knew one person knew judging by how Pure Vanilla's grasp tightened on him, but that was to be expected. He didn't hate it. It reminded him that he was up way earlier than usual.

"I think you're lovely either way." He pressed a gentle kiss into Shadow Milk's cheek.

"You can barely see me either way" He barely restrained himself from pulling away completely, only tilting his head in the opposite direction.

"Then I suppose it's a good thing I don't need to see you to do this!"

It was a total attack. Kisses smacked onto every inch of blue skin. It was almost audible! Shadow Milk's cheeks burned a bright blue as he clawed at Pure Vanilla's sleeves.

"No! No! Not again! Assault! Assault I tell you!"

Limbs flailed in every which direction as Shadow Milk fought for his life. Even Dark Cacao snorted!

"I'm going to bite you! I'm gonna make Candy bite you! And her bites HURT!"

Pure Vanilla stopped for a moment and considered that outcome. Good! Even a king's actions had consequences. Dire consequences! Shadow Milk was given one more tiny peck to his temple before he was finally released with a huff.

"I'm going back to bed! And you can sleep in the dog house until you apologize!"

Then he zipped away without another word said.

"What exactly do you see in him?" Dark Cacao scowled, though it didn't have the same bite as usual.

Golden Cheese and Hollyberry rolled their eyes. To them, it was obvious. Shadow Milk might have been an unconventional choice but he was undoubtedly the perfect choice for their friend.

"He just.. livens up my days so much! I didn't realize how monotonous it was here in the castle before he showed up. And if I have to be completely honest.." Pure Vanilla leaned in closer, biting his lip like a shy school girl, "he has a great figure"

His wings flittered as though it were juicy gossip and not completely usual for Shadow Milk to wear the tightest bodysuit known to man.

–––

"Bluebird? I apologize if I truly upset you this morning. I was only playing.. I assumed you would appreciate it, but I may have overdone it a little."

There was no response whatsoever. Was he really that mad? Pure Vanilla thought he liked those kinds of gestures, even if he claimed to hate them. He could feel how warm his cheeks were and the Soul Jam's connection led him to believe that Shadow Milk was at least a little happy. He fidgeted with his hands, scanning the room for any signs of life when a deep, when a rumbling snore sounded from under the covers. Had he actually been sleeping this entire time? The sun was already starting to set and dusk was painting the sky a dusty purple.

"Dear? Are you hungry?"

He sat as lightly as he could at the edge of the bed and nudged the heap of blankets.

Shadow Milk swatted at whatever had dared to disturb his rest. He assumed Candy or Sapphire had come back for him.

"Ask your father.." he grumbled not bothering to open his eyes.

He was exhausted. How much longer did he have to explain every little thing to all those eager faces? Isn't this why he fell in the first place? Endless questions and inevitable burn out.

"Bluebird, it's me"

Who? Oh. That wasn't a child. That was..

"Nillyyyy save meee. Your friends make me sooo tiredddd. I never wanna talk to them again! They don't know anything!"

His voice was still dipped in sleep, mumbling and mostly incoherent. He kicked the covers away until he could actually see the person he was speaking to.

"They're only curious, but you're not obligated to answer any questions if you don't feel up to it"

"I don't feel up to doing anything ever again! Come back to bed. You won't eat dinner anyways."

"Oh? I thought you said that I would be sleeping in the 'dog house' tonight?"

"I changed my mind. I'll get my revenge some other way."

He hummed a satisfied sigh when the bed creaked and the mattress bowed with the new weight. It was natural now how he turned himself over and tucked his head under Pure Vanilla's chin. The embrace was warm and comforting. He never felt stressed when they fit together like this, like this was somewhere he was meant to be. Somewhere he was allowed to be. Somewhere he was wanted.

"What did you have in mind?" Pure Vanilla's eyes sparkled with mirth already running through what Shadow Milk might count as vengeance in his mind.

"I'm gonna steal your Soul Jam obviously." He certainly had plans to steal it.. in a way. He was going to have a lot of fun pushing Pure Vanilla's buttons once everyone was gone.

"Hmm.. but if I didn't have my Soul Jam, I believe the wings you love so much would dissappear too, wouldn't they?"

"Oh I have many many many ways of taking a soul! It might be bonded to you now, but it was mine once, and I know it like the back of my hand!" He lifted his head ever so slightly with his tongue stuck out. He gave the bright blue gem a miniscule kitten lick. Clearly, Pure Vanilla was unaware of all the little sensations toying with a soul could bring judging by the way he shivered.

"I thought you were tired.. but if you truly want my affection that badly I suppose I could think of an excuse to skip a meal.."

"Nope! I am tired! I'm going back to sleep. I just wanted to show you what's in store for when your attention is less divided~ but if you don't think you can wait, your welcome to some self-exploration!" His face went serious for just a second, "after you eat."

There had been too many people in his house for too many days. One week might as well have been a whole month, especially with White Lily still hanging around as if she was actually welcome here. He could see it in her eyes. She was having fun, wasn't she? Pretending to be everything Shadow Milk never could be. She was timid and kind and remorseful. That was what Pure Vanilla wanted, wasn't it?

Even if the very sight of her made his blood boil, he couldn't take his eyes off of her. He couldn't trust her, not even for a second. If she didn't have her hands all over his partner, then she trying to pull information out of his children, trying to find proof that he was hurting his other half, or worse, the children themselves.

Since that morning at the breakfast table, he had spent most of his time as Lady Blue Raspberry Cookie. It was easier to be civil as long as she was the one doing all the talking, and he didn't have to stare at his own reflection. Furthermore, he had a plan, and keeping in touch with his feminine side would prove very useful.

"Shadow.. hm, Blue?" Pure Vanilla wandered around aimlessly until his staff layed it's eye on the fluttering blue and black skirts.

"Oh? Don't you know it's very rude to call out a woman's improper name? Why, how would you feel if, in a moment of weakness, I were to call you Eternal Sugar, or even Burning Spice hm? Now isn't that unpleasant!"

The wrinkles in the bridge of Pure Vanilla's nose told him all he needed to know. Shadow Milk couldn't remember the last time he smiled like this. It was cruel, thin grin, brought on by another's suffering. How could he have forgotten this feeling? So what if there was a knot in his stomach? It didn't matter how terrible he felt as long as he could share that suffering with his other half. That connection was the only thing he craved.

"What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I'm only doing some gardening! Don't you think this greenhouse could use a little bit of color?"

The dreadfully pale lilies that surrounded them all took on a pleasant blue hue, and the scent shifted to be reminiscent of blueberries.

"Or! Even better, we could just burn the whole thing down!"

Each delicate petal burst into flames, popping and crackling as though it was screaming for help. Perhaps they were screaming? The voices warbled and echoed, unintelligible. It was impossible to tell what they were saying if they were saying anything at all. Pure Vanilla took a step backwards. What? Why was he turning away? That wasn't right.

It didn't matter he could still salvage it with the second phase of his scheming. It was sure to have Pure Vanilla begging for a stop to the torture. Browns and greens replaced everything that Shadow Milk was until White Lily stood amongst the destruction of her own precious garden. The smile on his face became a blood-curdling sob and hands that weren't his own reached out to pull at the flowing white robes.

"Pure Vanilla Cookie help me! It hurts! It hurts so much! Make it stop!"

"Shadow Milk, I don't want to play this game with you. This.. this is not a very effective way to communicate your wants and needs. Please let go."

A single blink was all it took for the flowers to return to normal and the deflated jester to pull his hand away like it had actually been burned. This wasn't how it was supposed to go.

"Did that make you feel better?" Pure Vanilla still wouldn't look at him.

"... no."

"What did you plan to achieve?" Pure Vanilla's voice wavered a bit, but he didn't turn around just yet.

"Shouldn't you have been begging for it all to end? I thought you would do anything to save her. You'd be right back in my arms, promising never to betray me again~ Or! I can look just like her any time you want if that's what you prefer! You'd keep your eyes on me then, wouldn't you? We can keep pretending! Just keep the real White Lily from coming back here and I can do anything she can do, but so so much better!"

"Is that really want you think I want..?"

"Oh please! Just look at the way she touches you! A long time ago my ass! I wouldn't be surprised if you'd been going behind my back all week just to satisfy yourself with a real woman, am I right?"

Pure Vanilla finally turned around but he looked tired, older than he really was. His eyes were sad, like he was staring at something pitiful.

"If it really made you so uncomfortable, you only needed to tell me, and there's no world where I would.. I could never be so cruel, especially to you."

Just tell him? He said it like it was completely obvious! Like he could've just told the Witches he had been unhappy? Like Burning Spice listened when he told him that it hurt? Told him to stop? But then again, he himself was the one who said it was rude to call someone by the wrong name. And Pure Vanilla wasn't like anyone else.

"Yeah, sure, whatever." Shadow Milk crossed his arms over his chest and rolled his eyes, his mouth turned upside-down in a scowl that could make milk curdle.

Pure Vanilla pinched at the bridge of his nose very uncharacteristically. His chest rose and fell heavily with each agonizingly slow and thoughtful breath until he looked composed enough to speak again.

"Everyone is leaving tonight. Please come to dinner and say goodbye?"

"Will it make you less.." Shadow Milk gestured blankly with one hand, looking for a word he didn't understand "I don't know, whatever this is? You look terrible."

"I wonder why that could be." Pure Vanilla sighed. "I'm.. angry and more than anything disappointed. I suppose I thought you were past this type of... stunt. But.. this is exactly why we agreed upon therapy sessions, and I think this will be a good place to start tomorrow."

"Oh yeeaahhhh I was kinda hoping you would just.. forget about that! I know I did! I mean, really, it's not like one tiny little mortal cookie can actually turn me into something palatable. And frankly, I'm perfectly content just the way I am!"

"And someone who is perfectly content with themself spends an entire week using magic to change nearly every aspect of their appearance and personality?" Pure Vanilla reached one measly hand towards Shadow Milk who floated out of reach as always.

Upon closer inspection, said hand was trembling and the eyes that had opened up to stare blankly at what Shadow Milk assumed appeared as just a black blob in the sky were bloodshot. He swore that he only took the offered hand out of curiosity. He wasn't worried. He didn't feel bad. He cupped those shaking fingers in his own hands, willing them to be still.

"You do not need to 'become more palatable' as you put it. I'm sure many cookies will always have a difficult time understanding you, but those who are deserving of your friendship will take the time to decipher your mannerisms. The true goal is to help you re-frame the way you think about yourself. It's about changing your perspective." The healer smiled.

And what a warm smile it was. Shadow Milk found himself far too drawn to it. It was wistful and made his chest ache in the most wonderful way. How could have forgotten this feeling? The knot in his stomach had unraveled all at once into a storm of fluttering butterfly wings. He wanted to kick himself for making someone so precious so upset.

"I'm guessing you want an apology then?" Shadow wasn't one to express his true feelings out loud of course, but the panging in his heart made him hope that Pure Vanilla could see through all the walls he had built up around himself.

"Yes, but I won't accept one that's ingenious"

Shadow Milk had to close his eyes and think. Pure Vanilla always made him think. What exactly was he sorry for? What did he regret? Why did he do that? What could he have done better? Those were the components of a good apology, at least according to the book Pure Vanilla left on his nightstand.

"I'm sorry for.. making you feel bad and making you cry. I shouldn't have pretended to burn your flowers or your... friend because I was jealous and don't like her. I should have told you." The sentences were disjointed and felt odd in his mouth. Truthfully he was reluctant to say anything at all, but it was worth it to make his other half feel better. When did he get so sappy?

"Thankyou, dearest. That was a very good apology. Did you take a peek at what I've been reading recently?" The spark of mirth in Pure Vanilla's eyes was unmistakable.

"You left that there on purpose to trick me."

"No, that page only made me think about you, so I bookmarked it for you"

"Fine. I'll go to your little going away party."

–––

It was indeed Shadow Milk and not Blue Raspberry who showed up to dinner that night. That being said, Pure Vanilla told him to dress his best and he wasn't one to deny himself the pleasure of a figure-hugging dress like the one he was wearing now. The halter neckline and long gloves were enough to keep most of his skin covered just the way he liked it.

Considering how short-notice Pure Vanilla's request for something so fanciful had been, Shadow Milk hardly had time to prepare adequate outfits for his children. He could of course conjure all of his outfits with magic and he could do so for others, but he much preferred having them to wear actual clothing. It was certainly safer just in case he needed to dispel his enchantments for the sake of mana storage. It also helped that he simply loved the act of sewing. Admittedly, the children had plenty of clothes and there certainly were formal ones, but with them actually growing outside of the Spire, he was hard-pressed to find anything that fit.

He bit at the tip of his clawed thumb as he flipped through a closet full of black clothes. Black Sapphire's usual outfits were decently fancy, and he wasn't growing nearly as much as Candy Apple. The only thing that really changed about him on a regular basis was the length of his hair. Candy had gone up a size and at least seemed to be taller than before. Normally Shadow Milk tried not to pay attention to it. As long as he ignored her changes, he could pretend they weren't happening at all.

Dresses, ruffles, and ribbons lay abandoned on the floor, colors blending into the decor. His foot tapped incessantly on the hard-wood floor, picking at fabrics.

"None of them? That's the only thing that fits you?"

Candy nodded. Even her fangs looked longer now, sticking out over her lip.

"Alright.. wear that and I'll just.."

With a reluctant sigh, he shut his eyes and focused on a few key details that might jeuje it up a bit. Golden embroidery along the hems, a few strategically placed gems, it was always the smalls things that made a difference, even if they would dissappear by the next morning. A second stocking was a must too. Where the other one had gone was beyond himself. They always seemed to vanish no matter how many extras he made her.

"Alright, that should be good enough.."

Candy flitted around in the mirror, spinning this way and that, flapping her wings as the details caught and sparkled in the light.

"One more thing, you two" Shadow Milk beckoned for both of the kids to stand side by side in front of him. He cupped each of their faces with one hand, a serious expression gracing his features. "I want you to have fun and eat and dance and whatever, but do not speak with White Lily Cookie, do you understand? Don't touch her, don't even look at her if you can avoid it. If you need me and can't find me or Nilla, Hollyberry and Golden Cheese are the safest people to ask. Dark Cacao if you absolutely have to." He released their faces, ruffling the tops of their heads with a worried sigh, careful not to tussle their hair too much.

"Now let's go get this over with! Your father is being a real pain in the ass about it." Shadow rolled his eyes, ushering the other two out the door. It wasn't until he caught Sapphire chuckling under his breath that he realized how exactly he had referred to Pure Vanilla that time. What a strange feeling it was to be so domesticated. They had only decided on the term partner a week ago and yet he was already filling in the gaps of their comfortable little life with new words, and apologies, and kindness, and soon enough, therapy and healing. Or the closest thing to healing that he was really capable of. He'd probably just show up to an office where another cookie told him everything that was wrong with him. Wouldn't that be absolutely fabulous? He'd manage to ignore for another night, though. He still needed to make up for that morning, and Pure Vanilla was going to get swept off his feet if Shadow Milk had anything to say about it.

–––

Their usual dinnertime ballroom had been dressed to the nines with sconces full of flowers lining nearly every wall. Not a single lily to be found. He almost let himself smile at that detail. The curtains were all tied back, letting the sunset compete with the glittering chandeliers above their heads.

Each cookie in the room was appropriately dressed. He best approved of Hollyberry's ballgown, but whatever seemingly ceremonial garb Golden Cheese had on was fitting too. If Dark Cacao had changed at all, Shadow Milk couldn't tell how, but he had half-expected the sour puss to dress down so he couldn't be too disappointed. White Lily was as agitating as ever with her long, white gown fluttering along behind her. It must've been the same thing she was wearing when she became the guardian of the tree. It reminded him of a wedding dress. He didn't know how hard he had to try to remind her that she was not the blushing bride in this story. It was worse when he laid eyes on Pure Vanilla for the first time that evening and realized that he practically matched her.

It was a white, three-piece suit he had seemingly never worn before. At least, Shadow Milk had never seen it. It was rarer than rare to see Pure Vanilla actually wearing pants, so Shadow Milk was sure he would've remembered an outfit like that. He wondered when his partner actually had time to get it without him noticing. Either way, it was still white, and if you were particularly blind like Pure Vanilla was, it might have been easy to mistake the blue accents on his ensemble for the periwinkle on White Lily's.

"Shadow Milk! I'm glad that you are here. Blue Raspberry may be wonderful company, but I think i soeak for all of us when I say I much prefer you as yourself, my dear. Although, I have to say, in either form, you are quite suited to dresses such as these."

"Hey hey! I want a compliment too!" Candy Apple pouted, already tugging at the front of Pure Vanilla's vest.

It took Pure Vanilla a second to angle his staff close enough to properly catch the details with Candy Apple twirling around so rambunctiously.

"Oh I see! Why that is beautiful! Gold and not silver..? Did Shadow Milk not make this..?"

"Of course Dad made it! He's the best at everything! Only he could make something so pretty~"

"Of course it would've been better if someone had given me more time to actually make something new. It'll all dissipate by midnight, but I need to make her new clothes anyway, so if she likes the gold that much, I guess I'll use it more" Shadow Milk was already taking a seat next to the head of the table. He wanted to claim it before anyone else did. And he wanted to eat.

Pure Vanilla followed suit with a smile that Shadow Milk didn't understand the meaning of. He only knew he didn't like it. It made him feel like Vanilla knew something that he didn't.

"If I could have everyone's attention?" Pure Vanilla clinked his spoon against an empty glass, directing the others to take their seats accordingly. "It has been truly wonderful catching up with all of you again, and it makes my heart ache that you must all depart so soon, but I know you all have your own duties to attend to. That being said.. a certain spontaneous cookie must have rubbed off on me lately, since I just couldn't bear the thought of seeing you go without doing something truly fun! So please, dine and dance to your heart's content!" His voice dropped it's royal air as he tacked on to the end of his welcome, "and if you would be so kind, I'd prefer to keep the air.. lighthearted."

With that, everyone filled their cups and plates, getting louder with each drink they had. It didn't take long for Hollyberry to pull Dark Cacao from his seat by force and drag him onto the dance floor where he swayed stiffly with Hollyberry's guidance. Golden Cheese and Candy Apple joined in shortly after, eager to spread out their wings. It seemed that they were actually much more interested in flying than dancing, but Shadow Milk was glad Golden Cheese actually seemed to be challenging Candy to keep up. It was good for her to practice every once in a while. Shadow Milk couldn't always be around to simply float her off the ground after all.

"Well, come on then, Nilly! You were the one who insisted on making me come, so you'd better keep me entertained!" Shadow Milk grinned as he held his hand out. Little did Pure Vanilla know, this was yet another scheme of his, although this one was only designed to make his other half laugh. Tears for laughter seemed like a fitting tradeoff to him.

Pure Vanilla had barely taken the offered hand before he was being hoisted in the air with a yelp. He clung onto Shadow Milk's shoulder, and his lower back was braced with Shadow Milk's arm.

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna drop you! And I'll catch you if you fall, promise~"

Shadow Milk leaned in to blow a few hairs out of his dance partner's face with a giggle. He kept the both of them pressed together as closely as he could to keep Pure Vanilla feeling secure, and more importantly to keep him from looking down.

"O-oh dear.. are you sure we can't dance on the ground?"

"Trust me, I've got you! And you have my personal guarantee that you're going to have a way better time up here!"

"If you had let me grab my staff.."

"No need to see when you're dancing! Just trust me! You really think I would lie to you?"

The chortle that followed was music to Shadow Milk's ears.

"You've got to let me be sweet to you tonight! I've got an excuse and everything! First of all, I might be a teeny tiny bit buzzed and I feel bad for uh.. the garden."

"The great and magnificent Shadow Milk feeling bad about something? Now that's a surprise"

"Hey! I am plenty capable of feeling bad about all kinds of things!"

Shadow Milk led them through multiple slow and careful twirls until Pure Vanilla got his footing. Holding his other half through a barrel roll might have been his favorite part of the night if it weren't for the kiss he managed to sneak during a dip. Dancing like this was probably more intoxicating than the actual alcohol. He felt like a drunk man, warm and lighter than air. Slow or fast, as long as he had Pure Vanilla with him, the music didn't matter. He was happy just swaying lazily as the night dragged on. It was a little hard to keep his eyes open when he was so enveloped in this feeing of utter satisfaction. He could hear Candy Apple and Black Sapphire laughing together, safe and sound, and he could feel the beating of a larger pair of wings practically swinging Hollyberry in circles mid-air. Even White Lily's presence only put a very minimal damper on his mood.

Evening became twilight, and twilight became dusk before anyone could notice it. Shadow Milk didn't come down to the ground until what might have been well after midnight judging by the moon's position in the sky.

–––

"I suppose it's time for everyone to get going isn't it?" Pure Vanilla rubbed at his eye with one hand, holding a fast asleep Candy Apple in the other arm.

Black Sapphire might not have been completely asleep, but he was certainly close to it, leaning his cheek on Shadow Milk's shoulder, more than likely wishing it were a pillow instead.

"Yes. We shall be looking forward to your letters on Shadow Milk's path forward and of course the state of your affairs" Dark Cacao was as stoic as ever.

"Goodbyes are my least favorite part of any of our get togethers, but as always, the gates to the Hollyberry Kingdom remain wide open to all of you!"

"As do those of the Golden City, however dilapidated it may be"

With their farewells all in order the three of them were on their ways to grab their things from their rooms and make the treck back to their own kingdoms, leaving only White Lily to stand alone.

"Pure Vanilla Cookie," She began, resting her hand on his arm, dangerously close to Candy Apple. Now would be Pure Vanilla's chance to prove that 'just asking' was actually an effective way to get what you wanted.

"Ah, wait. Before you continue, I'd like to ask that these touches not continue, at least not so frivolously." He guided her hand back down to her side before he continued to rub gentle circles into Candy's back, "Please understand that it does make Shadow Milk rather uncomfortable, and I don't think this is a request too great for me to accommodate."

Shadow Milk couldn't help but press himself ever to slightly closer to Pure Vanilla's side, with a small, almost imperceptible smile.

"But, Pure Vanilla.." She began to reach her hand up again before thinking better of it with a resigned sigh, "Alright. If that's truly what you wish." For some reason, something about her smile didn't look nearly as vile or scheming tonight. "I just wanted to wish you well, and let you know you can always reach me with that summoning spell. If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to write me"

With a nod of her head, she too left, closing the door softly behind her.

"Thankyou" Shadow Milk whispered, barely audible, but there was no doubt Pure Vanilla heard him.

Shadow Milk couldn't seriously believe he was sitting in some cushy, silent therapist's waiting room. Therapy was only something for whiny, fragile cookies who couldn't handle their own emotions. Shadow Milk was perfectly fine. He knew exactly how to handle himself and his power. Trauma was just a big scary word for cookies who cried about every tiny little thing. Talking about his feelings was a waste of time, and therapy was an expensive scam made up so normal people could pay their way to fake happiness. All anyone really needed was a trip to the Garden of Delights.

"Just give it a chance. Valerian Cookie is very good at their job! They've helped me a lot personally, and I have a feeling you'll get along just fine" Pure Vanilla in all of his patience had his hand placed firmly on Shadow Milk's bouncing leg.

"Yeah, sure, and that's why you have a relapse chart with an entire month filled with red x's"

"Need I remind you that was the month that Truthless Recluse spent in the Spire?"

"Yeah. So it's my fault. Basically I'm evil, this is never going to work, and you should just give up and tell me you hate me."

Shadow Milk crossed his arms over his chest with a scowl, but the more time passed, the quicker his heel tapped against the floor. He ground his teeth together until it hurt, and nearly jumped out of his seat when his name was called.

"Valerian Cookie! I'm so glad you had an opening! Shadow Milk is certainly.. a difficult case, but I have hope."

"Aww, you have hope in everything, don'tcha Nilly! Yes, yes, I'm so very difficult to be around! Let's just admit it, you just want to pawn me off for a couple hours!" Shadow Milk floated on his back, looking more bored and irritated with each second, his smile stiff and wide, more to show off his teeth than anything else.

Valerian only readjusted their glasses with a curious look on their face.

"Hm. That may be a good place to start for today." They commented rather mildly as they guided Shadow Milk into their office. Shadow Milk huffed as Pure Vanilla smiled and waved a goodbye that Shadow Milk didn't not return.

"Please take a seat, make yourself comfortable." Valerian's voice was monotone and overall clinical in such a way that made Shadow Milk uncomfortable despite the warm smile they gave him. He complied, however, stretching his body out along the couch, cracking his neck and back in the process, and making sure to kick his feet up on the side table. It make him chuckle to knock the knick-knacks off the wooden surface with a thud, although unfortunately for him, not any sounds of shattering glass.

"I see you're clearly not very excited to be here, but I assure you that anything you say in this room will remain entirely confidential, and although what we discuss may sometimes be uncomfortable, by no means will I make you talk about anything you're not ready for. The being said-"

"Uhuh, yeah, whatever." Shadow Milk cut them off abruptly, lazily checking his nails. "Look, Val was it? Can I call you Val? Oh who am I kidding, I actually don't care what you wanna be called! This is a waste of both of our time! I'm only here because Nilla is THREATENING me! So honestly, why dont I just sit right here, read a book, and you can uh.. I dont know, whatever it is that mortals do to distract themselves from their inevitable deaths" He rolled his eyes, already reaching his arm through a portal for one of the thick textbooks in Pure Vanilla's library.

"He's.. threatening you? Forgive me, but I find that very hard to believe."

"Well you don't live with him, do you?" Shadow Milk only gave half of his attention to Valerian, sliding his fingers along the braille, reading languidly about the advancements in science and technology since he'd been gone. "Ha! I mean really! He seriously thinks he's gonna get through a single night if he kicks me out of his bed! He thinks I'm clingy and lonely, but really! He can't sleep a wink unless he's getting all touchy-feely with me! He's worse than Candy sometimes."

"Candy? Who's that?"

Admittedly, Shadow Milk was already saying far more than he intended to, but as long as the conversation didn't steer towards the emotional, he was content enough to yap if they were really so desperate to hear his answers. As long as he was still reading, he could simply tune them out when he got bored.

"One of my kids. Candy Apple and Black Sapphire. Candy follows me practically everywhere I go when she isn't pestering her brother."

"Can I ask how old they are now?"

Shadow Milk paused, scrunching his nose up in thought. "Ehhh hard to say. I mean, chronologically speaking they're much MUCH older than you or Pure Vanilla, but mentally and physically..? Candy's probabaly anywhere from eight to twelve? Sapphire? Well, at the very least he looks old enough that nobody bats an eye when he drinks so early twenties? Look, I stopped keeping count. They didn't age or grow for several thousand years while I was gone and none of us knew how old they actually were when I took them in."

"So I take it they're adopted?"

"Eh, something like that. Not that the paperwork really existed or mattered back then! Anytime a village caught fire, poof! Orphans all over the place! Those two just happened to wander into my domain!"

"And you mentioned there was a time when you were.. gone?"

Shadow Milk narrowed his eyes and shot them a glare, gripping the sides of the book harder than before.

"I'm not answering that one. Ask Pure Vanilla."

Valerian cleared their throat and nodded, writing something down in a notepad that they shut again as soon as they were done.

"Alright.. then how about this? Back in the lobby you seemed to think Pure Vanilla was only using your time here as an excuse to avoid you. Why's that?"

"Ohh I might have played a little itty bitty prank on him yesterday! I said I was sorry, AND I did his stupid little farewell party, but uhg, he's so emotional! After the kids were asleep, he was all moody again! I tried to cheer him up with a little playtime if you know what I mean, but he said he was 'too tired.' whatever, it's his loss!"

"A prank? What kind of prank?"

"Well I might have pretended to burn his obnoxious little greenhouse and his annoying half-cookie ex-girlfriend"

"That's rather extreme.. is there a reason you did that?"

"Uhg! You've never met that that.. GNAT!" He sat up abruptly, hurling the book somewhere behind his head. "She's infuriating! Had her nasty paws all over my favorite toy! And what does he have an entire greenhouse dedicated to? Lilies. Not milkcrowns, not primroses, nooo of course not! He just needed to be punished and reminded that nobody gets to touch him but me!" With a deep breath and a grunt, the hair lashing angrily behind him calmed down and suddenly its eyes looked downturned. "I might have overdone it a bit though."

"Did you try to simply.. talk to him first? This seems like a big leap in logic"

Shadow Milk huffed, rubbing at the bridge of his nose as he layed back down. "You Vanillians think talking really can solve everything, don't you? He said the same thing and hearing twice doesn't make me believe it any more. Now I love to yap as much as anyone else, but in my experience, that alone doesn't usually get me what I want."

Valerian turned their eyes to the clock. There was a lot to unpack here, but time was running out, so instead they closed their eyes in thought. "How about this, is there anything else you can think of that you want? Something you can ask of someone?"

Shadow Milk propped himself up, facing them with suspicion written all over his features. "Well, I did pull out an old scrapbook recently. It made me want to go visit a friend."

"That's perfect! Why don't you ask Pure Vanilla to go with you? You may find that you'll get a lot further with talk, at least in this day and age. And especially with Pure Vanilla."

Shadow Milk considered it, weighing the pros and cons in his head. Last time he went to the Garden of Delights, he was sure to steal a bushel of those sour berries for Black Sapphire and Candy Apple. He'd planned to take Pure Vanilla there as a ploy, but now that things had turned out this way..? Those berries would come in handy to keep his other half on his toes if he could convince him to go on a small vacation.

"Ha! I'll try, but when was the last time that guy took any time off?"

"That may be true, but I think he may be more willing if he knew how much it meant to you?"

How much it meant to him? Shadow Milk never used to consider anything to mean very much to him, but if he thought about it carefully, he thought could list all the things he might care about. Did Eternal Sugar belong on that list? So far, he knew he cared about Black Sapphire and Candy Apple, that was a given. He must care about Pure Vanilla in some twisted way if he was actually sitting here in a therapist's office. He cared about himself most certainly, but the other beasts? There was a point in time when they were friends, wasn't there? Did that count? All he knew was that he wanted to see her again, especially after he had gotten to meet Hollyberry. Their last meeting wasn't exactly smooth, but this time, he wanted to visit purely as a guest to actually enjoy the garden and her company. Hopefully it was worth a shot.

"Alright, fine. Look, are we done here? I have a headache."

"Yes, our time is up. Will I see you again? Same time next week?"

"Sure, fine, whatever. This wasn't.. terrible." In the blink of an eye, he was gone from the office.

–––

"That was TERRIBLE!" Shadow Milk whined as he descended from nowhere, landing delicately in Pure Vanilla's arms and lap. Whatever paperwork the politician had been focused on could wait. Shadow Milk needed attention desperately to make up for an hour spent in torture. Pure Vanilla laughing at him made his exaggerations fall short, but it didn't matter. "They gave me homework! Can you believe that? Me! The Fount of Knowledge! Homework!"

Pure Vanilla's fingers combing through his hair did more than he cared to admit to sooth his annoyance, a refreshing sprinkling of rain to douse the fire that had been brewing in his heart ever since the ancients showed up. Now that they were gone, he wanted nothing more than to return to their simple routine.

"And what would that be?"

"I have to ask you something"

"Oh?"

"Well apparently setting greenhouses on fire is an 'extreme' way of getting things you want! Im just saying, why change what works? But I digress." Shadow Milk crossed his arms and allowed himself to close his eyes as he sunk into the warm feeling of his lover's embrace. It was moments like these that solidified Pure Vanilla's place on the list of things he cared about.

"And what is it that you want?"

"I wanna take a vacation!"

"A vacation? Not to.. ahem, discredit your position here, but your don't exactly have a job to be taking a vacation from"

"Uhg, see? This is why I do the things I do! I told them you would say no!" Shadow Milk cracked one eye open. It was frustrating to be expected to play so nicely when he could usually just make others cater to his whims. Now he was expected to just accept the possibility of rejection? "Look, getting to see your friends might have been relaxing for you but the rest of us were scared half to death the whole time. I think it's pretty fair if I get to see one of my friends this time. Besides, she's basically like family! As far as I know, you're pretty close with that, what's his name, Custard kid, aren't you? Imagine what it would be like, to be a sad, orphaned child, with no family to speak of! Wouldn't you value anyone who treated you as one of their own? Anyways! That's why you should let us visit Eternal Sugar!" His smirk returned triumphantly as if anything he had said was what actually convinced Pure Vanilla to agree.

"Alright, alright. I supposed a short trip won't kill me, and of all the beasts, she does seem the safest and most agreeable.. You are right afterall. As much as the ancients' presence here was driven initially by business, we did spend much more time simply catching up. It's unfair to expect that you don't also crave friendships like that." Pure Vanilla conceded, "and if what you say is true, she must be like an aunt to the children, no? In that case, I should meet her! We're one step closer to becoming in-laws afterall!" Pure Vanilla chuckled.

It was the kind of sound that made the faithful fall to their knees in worship. A breath of air at such a terrible joke, such presumptuous words, and Shadow Milk wasn't much better than the blindly devoted witch-lovers he usually condemned. He had warned Eternal Sugar against obsessive love hadn't he? But how could he resist it himself when this was what he was working with? He knew all too well the name for this feeling. There's only one emotion to make someone like him feel like such a fool, one that made his heart ache and his Soul Jam glow, spreading warmth in his chest. Vanillians loved words almost as much as he did, but there were three that he had all but forbid himself from saying. He didn't even want to know what kind of gushy expression must be on his face as he bit back the sentiment.

Shadow Milk's Soul Jam glowing wasn't exactly strange. It didn't happen often, but it did trouble him initially when they first started staying in the castle, so he recognized the light for what it was. What was strange was a similar light was hitting his eyes. Stronger and brighter, but unmistakable. Pure Vanilla's Soul Jam was glistening in reply. Both of them stayed almost completely still at the realization, afraid they might disrupt the peace the Soul Jams had found.

"Huh.. well, I did say I'd show you what else the Soul Jams are good for." Shadow Milk broke the silence with a joke in reply, but his face was full of awe and wonder rather than humor.

"Well this is.. new." Pure Vanilla couldn't see much, but what he could see better than anything else was light. His eyes had slid open and he watched the way the light reflected off the palm of his hand, shifting it back and forth gently. "It's very warm," he observed.

Shadow Milk had sat himself up more fully, examining the gem, tilting its golden casing upward with a sense of reverence and curiosity. He was careful not to touch it directly given that Pure Vanilla's office wasn't usually as private as his bedroom was, with people walking in every few hours to ask him things or give him reports, but the draw wasn't easy to ignore. With both of them glowing in sync, he couldn't help but imagine what it would be like to join them like they once had.

"I wanna try something, but only if you're okay with it. I don't know exactly what this is gonna do.." Shadow Milk knitted his eyebrows together, considering his theory carefully.

"Alright.." Pure Vanilla sounded hesitant, to say the least, "I have to admit it's a bit unnerving when you actually ask for my consent in these situations. Usually it means you're scared"

Shadow Milk gave him an unamused, deadpan stare. "Am not," he grumbled sounding nearly childish, "we did this once, briefly. Back in the Spire. If I could study it a bit more.." his voice trailed off as he situated himself in Pure Vanilla's lap, straddling his legs as he rose until their Soul Jams lined up. There was a slow precision with which he inched closer. It seemed that as the distance closed, the warmth spread and the light became brighter until it was almost blinding. With a clinking sound, the brooches finally met.

He couldn't describe exactly what he felt in that moment. It might have been more accurate to say that he was actually feeling what Pure Vanilla felt. Possibly both. It was hazy, but it felt safe, warm. In his vision, golds and blues danced together, eyes opened and shut, and somewhere in the distance he could hear two separate hearts beating together in the same rhythm. If he focused he could move his physical body and he could make out the shapes and colors of the outside world, but the warmth drew him into a state of calming bliss. It was almost overwhelming. He felt like he was walking in the dark despite how bright his surroundings were. Fear lingered in the shadows, threatening to tug him down into their depths, sadness and loneliness pooled around him like an endless sea, but amidst it all, light, joyful and kind shined down on him, allowing him to bask in it even if he was deep under water. He reached out toward it despite the dark tendrils that circled around his limbs. A hand met his own, dragging him from the abyss with all its might, but only managing so far as to let half of his body rest on the shore. Even that felt like it had taken too much work, letting both figures rest on the grains of sand, falling into a restful sleep.

When he opened his eyes again, the moon was high in the sky. Shadow Milk felt simultaneously tired and well-rested. He pushed himself off of Pure Vanilla's chest with a groan. An office chair was not a very comfortable place to sleep. The pressure and movement made Pure Vanilla stir from his own slumber, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. In slow shuffles, supporting each other's sides, they made their way into bed, not bothering to take off their clothes.

"Intense.." Pure Vanilla mused, laying on his back, his fingers intertwined with Shadow Milk's beside him.

"I kinda liked it" Shadow Milk smiled.

"I think I like it a lot," Pure Vanilla squeezed his hand.

Three words that Shadow Milk wanted desperately to say. They hung in the back of his throat, unable to break free, standing on the precipice.

"Doesn't matter what you're wearing as long as its comfortable, c'mon, out, let's go!" Shadow Milk hollered, flitting through the wall between the children's rooms. He had gotten Pure Vanilla to agree to three days in paradise, and he didn't want to waste a single second. The two sleepy and confused cookies shuffled out of their rooms, still wearing their pajamas, as Shadow Milk beckoned them outside, practically pushing them out the front door. Pure Vanilla was already waiting looking disheveled himself. The sun had barely begun to rise over the kingdom, casting orange rays across the lawn.

"I appreciate your enthusiasm, darling, but it is incredibly early" Pure Vanilla yawned.

"Well, yeah, it's early in Crispia, but it's already noon in Beast-Yeast! To be fair, knowing her, she actually will probably still be sleeping, but whatever. She'll perk right up when she sees moi!" Shadow Milk clawed a portal into existence, ushering Candy Apple and Black Sapphire in ahead of him before taking Pure Vanilla's hand. "You're gonna love it, trust me! You basically can't hate it. But uh, you know, there's always a back up plan if the scents make you a bit loopy." He jostled the basket full of dark blue berries that hung from his other arm with a grin. He'd certainly knock Pure Vanilla out of it when they planned to leave, but he couldn't deny the thrill it gave him to imagine his perfect doll in such a pliable state of mind.

They walked through together, both of them meeting a rather unfamiliar atmosphere. The Garden had always been beautiful in its own grotesque way, but this was something to be marveled at, like it had been rebuilt from the ground up. The marbel columns which had once been in crumbling disrepair now shone like gold. The trees and flower bushes were each trimmed meticulously into statues of hearts, wings, Eternal Sugar herself, and of course Hollyberry, among other similarly sweet images. The waters were clearer than they had ever been, and he was almost certain that if he were to look straight down he'd be able to see to the bottom.

"Witches! She's really cleaned up around here.." Shadow Milk wandered forward, letting Pure Vanilla's hand fall as he took in the sight.

"Last time we were here this place was basically falling apart." Black Sapphire commented, equally amazed. Candy corroborated the statement, running to one of the grape-colored pools and staring at her reflection in awe. The teeth and eyeballs that used to float there seemed to have disappeared. How disappointing. That was one of Shadow Milk's favorite features.

"Oh? What's this I spy? A pack of wolves seems to have brought me a gift. What a majestic ram you've offered me~"

Shadow Milk whipped around at the sound of her voice. Her pink fingertips danced along the lower edge of Pure Vanilla's wings, brushing the feathers ever so slightly. The apprehension on Pure Vanilla's face was clear as day. He seemed almost frozen in place.

"Quit messing with him! That one's mine, I'll have you know!" Shadow Milk batted her hands away, twirling his other half around so that Shadow Milk stood between him and Eternal Sugar.

"You misunderstand! My heart only beats for my beloved Hollyberry Cookie!" She flicked her tail, laying on her side upon her fluffy cloud. "I'm sure you've noticed all the changes! I'm keeping my garden exactly how she likes it until my darling returns! She may have left once, but I'm certain that next time she'll never want to leave!" She sat up a bit more looking past Shadow Milk at the two siblings frolicking in the grass."Oh Candy Apple Cookie!~ Over here dear!"

Candy shot up with a start, nearly tripping over her own feet. Her wings flapped as she squealed, her eyes wide in pure delight.

"Auntie!! I want to ride on your cloud!!"

"Why of course dear! Whatever your heart desires!" Eternal Sugar in an abnormal departure from her usual slothful nature actually physically leaned down to haul Candy Apple into her lap. Her arms circled her waist carefully, over-aware of the possibility that the smaller cookie might fall even from such a short distance of the ground. "My, you've gotten.. bigger. However did that happen?" Her question was pointed directly at Shadow Milk rather than Candy to which it pertained.

"We haven't really been in the Spire lately." He dismissed the question off-handedly, though Eternal Sugar had never been good at taking his hints.

"Not so stifling to be with your other half anymore I take it?" Her eyes narrowed as her voice took on an uncharacteristically sharp edge, referencing their last encounter. "Why are you here, Blue? As much as the presence of these little ones is appreciated.. yours tends to put a damper on the other inhabitants"

"Relax! I'm only here on vacation, promise! I swear, no crumbling or pranks this time! Would I ever lie to you?" He giggled at his own joke, making a cross with his fingers over his heart. "But really, you would not believe how dull the Vanilla Kingdom is! I need a break, Sweets! As entertaining as my little daffodil here is, he's also the bane of my existence" He pinched at Pure Vanilla's cheek with a chuckle.

"Ahem, Eternal Sugar Cookie, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance." Pure Vanilla's staff illuminated her, roving over her figure to paint a picture for him, "I am Pure Vanilla Cookie, the holder of the Soul Jam of Truth and Shadow Milk's other half, as you put it."

She eyed him up and down, tilting her head with a hum. "Hmm..A little thin for my tastes, but as long as he makes you happy, I suppose it doesn't matter!"

"Eh.. You should know by now that the only thing that makes me happy is sleep. Say, where are those jam jars, huh? Last time I checked, those were pretty popular! And I'm their biggest fan!"

"Oh no no no! Hollyberry simply hated those! Why I got rid of them as soon as she left! Apparently the cookies inside weren't so pleased either. I can't imagine why! Sleep should have calmed their spirits and the jam was only supposed to bring them the most pleasant of dreams, but they all claimed to be missing their friends or family. So, as much as it pained me to see them go, many of my guests have gone home"

"What..? You're just.. letting people leave whenever they want to now?" Shadow Milk's grip tightened where his hands rested on Pure Vanilla's shoulders.

"Well it sounds absolutely impossible to me, but they're just so much happier! Some of them have come back to visit, and there are still many who call this place home! Hollyberry taught me that some apparently prefer to pursue happiness through work. It gives them a sense of accomplishment. She said that the suffering in the world makes joy taste so much sweeter! I'm not completely sure how, but I've been trying my hand at this whole work thing and I have to admit it does give me an odd sense of.. elation!" Her wings spread out happily behind her, two drastically different pairs working in sync.

"... right."

Pure Vanilla's hand found purchase on Shadow Milk's waist. It was surprisingly comforting, though he didn't understand what he needed comfort from. Sugar was doing what she had always done. She was the Bringer of Happiness afterall! He supposed it was only natural that people in the modern day had more complex ways of finding fulfillment. Even so, the change wasn't welcomed. He understood it logically. Physical fitness did indeed increase serotonin and dopamine levels, and he knew first hand that the adrenaline high pain produced could be addictive, but to hear that anyone was actively unhappy even when all their needs were met was almost absurd. They had delicious food, plenty of water, they could sleep or play whenever they wanted, and sexual ecstasy wasn't difficult to get either. What could they possibly be missing?

"I guess that's why the fog has lifted, huh? No more mind-altering powders the air? That's a little disappointing, but at least I don't have to carry these around anymore!" He handed off the basket of sour berries to her. "What else is there then? Come on! I came here for some of that Garden of Delight type of bliss! How about a couples massage? A hot spring? A feast? Oh, definitely a private room! I wouldn't want to be eavesdropping on us if I were you" The way Pure Vanilla stiffened made his chest swell with pride.

"I can certainly accommodate all of those requests, but I think there's something else that might bring you even more peace of mind~"

Shadow Milk didn't like the look in her eye. She was up to something, he just couldn't pin down what she was getting at.

"Go and enjoy yourself, Blue. I'll take care of these little pups for you" she floated past him, placing a sugary sweet kiss on his cheek, taking Candy with her and presumably going off to find where Black Sapphire had gone.

It wasn't exactly strange for her to kiss her patrons on the cheek. It was just her way of greeting people. But this time, something was most definitely wrong. There was a tingling sensation on his skin that he couldn't shake.

"She.. she cast a spell on me!" He turned around to look for her, but she had already disappeared into the Garden somewhere.

"Hm? Are you sure? Can't you just unravel it?" Pure Vanilla tilted his head to one side.

"Uhg! No, I can't!" He rubbed at his cheek, trying and failing to get rid of whatever enchantment she had decided to use on him. "Beast magic is.. fickle. It's hard for any of us to just un-do another one's spells. We're all pretty equal in terms of power. We probabaly would've destroyed each other if we weren't."

"I see.. then, do you know what she cast?"

Shadow Milk groaned, swiping his hand down his face. "I guess we'll just have to wait and find out. In her defense, I did mess around with her head a bit last time I was here, so now we're even"

–––

"And here we are! Nice, luxurious, warm waters! It does wonders for your skin" Shadow Milk poked Pure Vanilla with grin.

The hot springs, at least, had remained mostly unchanged. Steam rose gently into the leaves overhead, cacooning them in warmth. Maybe it wasn't such a terrible thing that people had started leaving the Garden. Afterall, these springs were usually bustling, but now, they were all but empty. Private. Comfortable.

"Take that robe off! And the dumb hat, c'mon, I've been dying to show you this place." He made quick work of their clothes, undressing both himself and Pure Vanilla until both men were left completely nude, although the steam cascading from the pool's surface made it difficult to see anything below. It truly was a miracle that so few people were left in the gardens. No prying eyes on the tanned skin Shadow Milk had rightfully claimed. He was in a good mood. A wonderful mood, to be exact, perhaps nearing blissful. It was enough that he found himself sitting of his partner's lap, shamelessly cuddling into his neck with something akin to a purr bubbling up from his throat.

"My, bluebird, I've never seen you quite this affectionate. Are you sure you're feeling alright? The heat isn't getting to you?" Pure Vanilla's fingers trailed along Shadow Milk's neck, pulling long, wet strands of hair away from the thin skin hoping to give him some level of relief.

Shadow Milk shook his head, but not a single cell in his body could resist from leaning into Pure Vanilla's touch, whining absently until those lithe hands returned to caress every inch of his form. Of course, Shadow Milk returned the gesture. No claws, no teasing, just simple, gentle, loving touches. Love. Under these circumstances the word seemed far less daunting. In fact, they spilled forth from his lips without so much as a second thought.

"Nilly~"

"Yes, dear?"

"I love you~"

The moment the phrase left his mouth he jolted backwards as if he truly had burned himself. It had come too naturally. Too smooth, like his tounge had been coated in honey. The pair blinked in unison. Shock, confusion, annoyance. Complete and utter disgust on Shadow Milk's part. It was now beyond obvious to both of them exactly what kind of charm Eternal Sugar had used.

Hair that had previously been floating on the surface of the spring now bubbled to life. The once handsome, blue face contorted until it didn't even really look like a face at all. It appeared to be a mask cast in an uncanny smile, pupils darting around in response to each tiny noise. Nobody ever dared to play tricks like that on the Beast of Deceit, and was precisely because he was very good at hunting his prey. He even had an advantage. Pink didn't happen to be a very good color for camouflage. The beautifully trimmed grass and the flower petals that adorned it crumbling under his claws, sending a small cascade of dirt tumbling to the bottom of the hot spring. If Sugar wanted to use a truth spell on him, she would find out first hand the truth of how hot his anger boiled in his chest. He wondered for a moment if this was how Spice felt. He understood the appeal. It was exhilarating to let go so completely, to have your emotions let loose in their entirety.

Of course, those soothing fingers didn't leave his waist either. He wanted to be angry, but he wasn't. Not at Pure Vanilla. Never at Pure Vanilla. His body only wanted to give up and melt into his other half, especially when he realized the lightshow that came from his Soul Jam with every flare of unadulterated emotion. The brooches sat just inches away from his finger tips. They sat not even an inch away from each other, their casings nestled against each other.

He was still angry. It wasn't her right to stage something like this, but even so, his features returned to normal with each heave of his chest. The truth was vulnerable. Painful. It hurt people, and thats why he had forsaken it all those years ago.

"I'm.. sorry. You probably didn't want that to come out this way.. but for the record, I feel the same."

"Pff, yeah right. The kind and benevolent Pure Vanilla Cookie! In love with a thing like me! You hate me! That's the truth!"

"No. I do not hate you. If you don't believe me, there's nothing stopping you from casting a similar spell."

Shadow Milk growled at the thought. Forcing the bearer of the Light of Truth not to tell a lie? It was completely ridiculous.

"No," he wanted to leave it at that but the charm compelled him to say more, "I can't handle the truth." He bit at his lips, gnawing away at the flesh to keep it from betraying him any further.

"You seem to handle me just fine" Pure Vanilla remarked.

"Hah! You're the biggest liar of them all!" He had finally settled back into position, sat sideways on Pure Vanilla's legs with his cheek pressed to the other's neck. It was funny. This heart wasnt real, a constuct being puppeted around by his soul and magic, and yet it beat anyway, pumping blood through his veins at a rate faster than average. "You're a big coward. You're scared of me. I can see it. You get pale. Your heart flutters. You look like a rabbit." His teeth grazed his partner's pulse in a wicked grin, but his eyes were warm and wet.

"... yes. I am afraid of you at times. But.. that doesn't mean I don't love and care for you. Even when I am afraid as when I am upset, my love for you does not falter. You are often afraid too. Of yourself, of me, of my friends, and yet you stay here with me despite it all."

Shadow Milk didn't know what to say. He just closed his eyes and stayed still for a long while, mulling it over.

"Alright. Have it your way, Nilla. You shouldn't get too used to hearing me say it though. I'm tired! Sugar said she has a room for us. Uhg. Not that I want to look at her traitorous face."

CHAPTER 1: Houseguests

Friend. Is that what Pure Vanilla wanted? What an inconceivable concept. The definition for such a word was so vague and complex that Pure Vanilla could never even know what a friend really is. Even so, Shadow Milk couldn't rid the thought from his mind.

In his defense, the past week had been spent floating aimlessly in his other realm and the only real distractions that existed there were Black Sapphire and Candy Apple whose presence only annoyed him right now. Other than talking to them, the only thing to do was think.

What exactly happened in the Spire? That bright light that had surrounded Pure Vanilla Cookie. It was blinding. With a shiny new look to top it off. All Shadow Milk could do was growl as he bit at his claw-like nails.

"Ahem.. Master Shadow Milk Cookie"

A smooth voice broke the silence that had persisted for what Shadow Milk assumed had been hours by then.

"Surely the Spire should be safe to return to by now? Even if you're still recovering, Candy and I have been doing some reconnaissance and we haven't located any signs of cookies anywhere"

The only reply Black Sapphire recieved was a noncommittal hum before Shadow Milk turned his back on him and ripped a hole into the inky black void that surrounded them. The light of the outside world was almost painful after so long spent in the other realm and all of the eyes nestled in his hair squinted at the familiar sight. Home.

With a stretch and a sigh, Shadow Milk used a rope of his magic to lasso his minions together before he took a plunge out of the portal, falling from the sky with the bat cookies trailing behind. Any ordinary cookie would have panicked, but Candy Apple's squeals were out of absolute delight instead of fear.

"I suppose it's about time we start working on a new plan!"

It seemed to be the first time Shadow Milk had grinned since his defeat. If nothing else, his companions did prove humorous from time to time. With a flick of his wrist he released the bat siblings from his grasp and watched as the fluttered back down to solid ground with Shadow Milk following suit.

----

Exactly how the deceitful trio had ended up in the swalls of the sickeningly sweet Vanilla Kingdom was admittedly somewhat fuzzy. There had been a lot of discussion and since clearly brute strength was no longer an option with Pure Vanilla's new 'upgrade', their next best option was some kind of emotional manipulation. If trust could be established it would be significantly easier to simply snag Pure Vanilla's Soul Jam directly from his chest in his sleep.

Thus, Shadow Milk, Candy Apple, and Black Sapphire had snuck their way into Pure Vanilla's bedchambers. It wasn't too terribly difficult to pick out which room would be fit for a king, especially with the suffocating smell of vanilla and lilies. The first thing Shadow Milk had done was to crush the poor, white petals to a fine powder. Much better.

He lay on the bed and wait while Candy Apple did her own redecorating, knocking any items over that she assumed Shadow Milk didn't like. Even after his long retreat in the other realm, Shadow Milk was still weakened from his original spat with Pure Vanilla, so a portal across continents had certainly tired him out. If he had any more energy, he might have told her to stop just so he wouldn't have to trouble himself with fixing it all later, but who was he to deny her some good fun?

They didn't have to wait long before their (rather her) antics had apparently drawn the attention of Pure Vanilla who no doubt believed that some bird had flown into his room. In a way, Shadow Milk supposed that might not be a complete lie. At least two of the cookies in the room had wings.

The only thing that amused Shadow Milk more than Candy Apple's excitement was the momentary look of shock and horror that plastered itself on Pure Vanilla's face. Shadow Milk didn't even bother to get up and greet him properly.

"Nilly~ ! Funny meeting me here huh? Say, this thing is pretty comfy! Where can I get my own huh? Every good host provides the upmost amenities to his guests! Wouldn't you agree?"

Shadow Milk couldn't help but purr with a satisfied smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. He didn't miss the way Pure Vanilla's grip tightened on his staff, but what was more interesting was how he steeled his face after the initial shock

"My.. guests?"

"Well duh! That's what I said! I know you got those new feathery things on your ears now but I hope they still work because we both know you can't rely on your eyes! We've got two actual bats in the room with us and you're still the blindest one here!"

Apparently, Vanilla didn't find this joke funny. Shadow Milk could tell from the way his jaw tightened and the prolonged silence that followed. Shadow Milk finally dragged himself up from the bed with a dramatic groan and floated to where the Ancient stood.

"Do I really need to spell it out for you? This was your idea after all! Don't you remember, friend? I'll admit it! You were right!"

He twisted around in the air in a theatric fainting motion

"It gets awfully lonely in my Spire! I am simply a single father looking for companionship!"

That was when Black Sapphire and Candy Apple spoke up.

"A father? I hardly think you qualify as our father figure," Sapphire scoffed.

"Oh Master Shadow Milk Cookie! I just knew we were like a big family!"

Candy Apple's input was much more appreciated even if the idea of family made Shadow Milk scowl. His attention immediately snapped to Black Sapphire who simply fiddled with his microphone.

"Well excuse me! I quite remember teaching a certain set of siblings how to fly and read and write! I even stayed up at night with your sister when she was freshly baked! Oh you think she's loud now, you don't even know how she cried and cried and cried when she was a baby!"

The familial tension broke when a tiny laugh sounded from the doorway. Pure Vanilla had that stupid look on his face again. His smile was wide and genuine as he laughed at the situation. His useless, milky eyes had ever slitted open seemingly to take in the blurs of colors he was laughing at.

---

As much as Shadow Milk resented being laughed at so openly, it did appear to be his ticket into Pure Vanilla's personal itinerary as he was shortly after shown to a moderately sized room by a very discreet set of select castle staff. Candy Apple and Black Sapphire were also provided rooms next to his. Even if they did have to stay in such a revolting place, at the very least they would never be too far from one another.

"I must say, this is.. quite surprising."

"Oh? What? I thought you'd miss me~" Shadow Milk feigned a pout "I did an awful lot of reflection since last time, trust me! A week in the other realm can be dreadfully boring if you aren't used to holding a conversation with yourself!"

"Is that so?"

There was something on Pure Vanilla's face that Shadow Milk didn't like the look of. A flicker of hope. Disgusting. But, it did mean he was apparently playing his role well. Even so, he tore his eyes away from Pure Vanilla's face and focused on the new wing-like appendages that had sprouted behind his ears after his awakening. He couldn't help but groan at the state they were in. It looked as though he hadn't preened them at all since they had appeared. Shadow Milk was willing to bet money on the fact that he hadn't even tried.

"Uhg, do you even know how to take care of these? I know it's not exactly normal for cookies to spontaneously sprout wings, but you didn't even think to pick up a book? Typical old fool"

Shadow Milk's impulsive nature had him reaching out to pick at the feathers without thinking. The wings shot backwards at his approach and their owner had also leaned ever so slightly away though it seems as though the wings were much more emotional than the cookie they were attached to.

"Look, I'll level with you here, I've had a very very long week. I'm spent. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't hurt you. So just give me the damn wings before you give yourself an infection. I've been told my claws are especially suited for the job~"

He ended on a high note, fondly remembering time spent with Eternal Sugar Cookie many eons ago. Slowly but surely Pure Vanilla's tiny wings stretched to the full length. They trembled in Shadow Milk's hand, but the work was doable anyway. His focus was entirely on removing the excess keratin on any growing pin feathers and taking away feathers which were beginning to molt or break. Then, he repositioned the plumes that he had ruffled. He floated back with a satisfied huff, proud of the job he had done on such an intricate level.

"Go ahead and fluff 'em out, birdy. I don't normally charge for my services, but I would accept if you paid me in compliments"

Pure Vanilla ran his fingers across the newly preened surface of the wings with a gentle smile

"Hm, they do feel much better. Thank you, Shadow Milk Cookie. You've done a wonderful job. At least, as far as I'm aware.."

Pure Vanilla chuckled at the admittance of his own ignorance.

"Yeah yeah, whatever. Just sweep up your feathers before you leave! I've got some Well deserved Z's to catch up on!"

Shadow Milk shooed Pure Vanilla from the room but before he left, he gave Shadow Milk a final, lingering smile

"I'll do my best to understand you, Shadow Milk. I promise you don't have to be alone anymore."

Beasts didn't need sleep much like they didn't need food, water, or even to breath. That didn't mean Shadow Milk didn't sleep. Typically, sleep was a blissful escape from the waking world. Tonight was not so blissful. He tossed and turned mercilessly. This mattress wasn't nearly as comfortable as Pure Vanilla's had been. How rude.

In between wakefulness and sleep he clutched at his Soul Jam. The gem glowed faintly, the light pulsing painfully. The most infuriating part was that he didn't know why and he was too tired to figure it out. It's other half was somewhere decently nearby, closer than usual at least, so it couldn't possibly be complaining about distance. His dreams weren't exactly pleasant, but it wasn't as if he was having nightmares. All he could do was growl into a pillow and let his claws dig into the fabric.

He was half-tempted to throw the accursed object across the room. He couldn't stand it anymore. Off with it. Maybe this was unhealthy, but nobody else was around to berate him for it. With shaking hands, he undid the clasp that held to brooch to his chest and stuffed it somewhere in the void of his hair, chucking it haphazardly into the other realm.

This always resulted in an interesting feeling. Straying too far away from the Soul Jam was dangerous at best and catastrophic at worst. The thing about the other realm was that it was simultaneously a part of Shadow Milk, a manifestation of his magic that was quite literally hidden in his hair and between every thread of reality, and some other dimension entirely. It left him in a state of half-being. Alive physically, but all of the facets of his personality that made him Shadow Milk Cookie floated aimlessly in an abyss of his own creation. Even if his mind, or rather his soul, was still racing with unprocessed thoughts and emotions, his body had finally closed its eyes in a fuzzy haze of partial consciousness.

---

The next sound he heard was knocking, rather banging, at his door. He didn't rise even an inch. The rise and fall of his chest was shallow, almost non-existent. When the door opened, the lifeless marionette laying on his bed was unable to pinpoint who had entered the room. Some kind of commotion was happening outside of his limp limbs. Then, his hand was being guided into his own hair. His glossed over eyes didn't even begin to comprehend the scene around him until his fingers met a cold metallic casing.

He shot to life as he grasped the Soul Jam in his hand, clinging onto it and pulling it back through the heavy black of the other realm. It was only then that he recognized the faces in the room. Black Saphire with his hand still around Shadow Milk's wrist. Candy Apple wallowing next to the bed as if she hadn't seen this a million times before. And Pure Vanilla standing tall in the doorway, wings fluttering around wildly in panic.

"I can't do this every single time you have a bout of insomnia"

Sapphire deadpanned, letting Shadow Milk's hand fall back down onto his chest.

Shadow Milk's body twitched unnaturally as the feeling returned to his extremities. Then came a prolonged yawn and a stretch that make his bones pop and crack under the pressure of movement.

Candy Apple stood quickly and jumped around on the floor.

"Master Shadow Milk Cookie is up!" She beamed "Can we eat now? Please please pleeeaaaseeee!"

Her wings fluttered in excitement in the same way that Pure Vanilla's had flapped around with no chance of gaining flight.

"What.. what was that?" He voice was as gentle as ever but still seemed to cut through Candy's excitable screams.

"Huh? Oh yeah I guess yours doesn't do that. Good for nothing Jam thief." Shadow Milk replied lazily, still trying to wet his eyes again after they had dried out in the night.

"Just a little trick us original holders can get away with!"

Black Sapphire scoffed, clearly annoyed thinking about the number of times he had had to bring Shadow Milk back to life.

"Look, kid, at least you're just.. waking me up. Some kids have to call poison control when their daddies overdose"

Everyone except Candy Apple recoiled from the comment, trying not to imagine something like that happening. Shadow Milk grinned knowing it had diverted attention away from his corpselike slumber.

With a snap of his fingers, Shadow Milk was back in his normal attire and he was affixing his Soul Jam back onto his ruff, rubbing his sleeve over it until it shone.

"Ahem! There is a certain young lady in this room who's made it abundantly clear that she is simply dying of starvation! Everyone out! Out!"

Shadow Milk floated along behind the group still picking at the details of his outfit as if it were even possible that the 'threads' could be coming loose.

---

Breakfast was awkward. It was silent. Too silent. So much so that Shadow Milk was currently entertaining himself by playing soft phantom-like melodies and watching Pure Vanilla turn his head every which direction trying to figure out where they were coming from or whether they were real in the first place.

They were sitting in a rather remote area of the castle, hidden away from the view of prying cookies. The eyes in his hair peeked in every which direction counting the number of hidden security officers who no doubt believed themselves to be well hidden. One in a raftors waiting to pounce. Someone waiting on the balcony pretending to be a member of the waitstaff. Even the chef who lingered awkwardly in the room looked like he was hiding something in his shoes by the awkward gait with which he walked.

"Witches above! This crowd is giving me nothing to work with! How exactly am I supposed to make friends if everyone is too shy, huh? Pure Vanilla, I don't know if you noticed, but your employees are being pretty rude if you ask me! Spying on a poor innocent cookie!"

Shadow Milk fluttered his lashes but was met with no ounce of sympathy.

"Shadow Milk.." Pure Vanilla began slowly and sternly in a way that immediately put a scowl on Shadow Milk's face. "You are a very powerful entity and I've seen you use those powers to harm and crumble cookies in the past. I do apologize if you're uncomfortable, but please understand that I will not risk the safety of my kingdom to bend to your fleeting whims."

Unruly strands of hair lashed behind Shadow Milk's head and melted into one another appearing like a grotesque puddle of oil that betrayed the anger lying behind the toothy smile he wore.

"You little–!"

"Master Shadow Milk Cookie! I'm done!"

The hair dropped flat as soon as it had begun to dance. Candy Apple was sitting with those annoyingly wide eyes looking up at him with a smile that screamed "pay attention to me." And that he did.

"You! Uhg.. get up, up! Look at this mess! Syrup all over your clothes! I'm going to stop making these for you if you can't be more careful"

He summoned a wet wash cloth at once and began to rub at the new, sticky stains that adorned her dress. Then he wiped at her face, roughly enough to clean her up but surprisingly gentle for someone who called himself the beast of deceit.

"Even your hair is sticky.." he grumbled, turning her face this way and that as he assessed the damages with a sigh. "It's fine. I'm sure a good king wouldn't deny a little girl a bath. But after dinner."

He pinched he nose lightly with a laugh. Small, but real.

"Ah, if you like, I can run her one now"

"No, no, if you give her a bath now, she'll only be covered in something else by lunchtime. My little mischief maker! I really am such a proud papa!"

He wiped a fake tear away from the corner of his eye as he gave Candy a tiny twirl before sitting back in his seat. It seemed she was already running off to look around. He kept an eye locked on her at all times, hyper aware of any cookie in the room capable of causing her harm. Luckily her brother had followed suit, leaving him and Pure Vanilla more or less alone, although he figured that true privacy was a thing of the past. His hands unconsciously clasped around his Soul Jam and his jaw tightened. There wasn't a single staff member in the room who didn't have their sights locked tightly on the glittering jewel.

"While I may not trust your intentions, I can assure you that Candy Apple Cookie and Black Sapphire Cookie are completely safe. No harm will come to them as long as I have anything to say about it. Those were my direct orders, so you need not watch them quite so closely"

"Hm.." Clearly, Shadow Milk didn't give his trust out easily but as long as they stayed in the same room, he was willing to let his guard down ever so slightly. It was a large ballroom, but it was almost completely empty save for a few sparce table placements. Enough room for the kids to tire themselves out in at least.

"Are you saying you want me to watch you instead?~" He purred, leaning forward to put his chin in his hands, his shark-toothed smile gleaming in the light of the open balcony window. He caught the way those stupid, feathery wings bent ever so slightly to cover up Pure Vanilla's cheeks. Oh how he missed the days when he could make his Truthless Recluse sing such pretty songs with that same color in his face.

"Here's what I've noticed!" Shadow Milk floated up from his seat and stacked up the empty plates on the table. "Your plate is the only one that can't be cleaned up. Are you afraid I've poisoned you? Cast a spell? Snuck a love potion into your fruit salad?"

Shadow Milk conjured various cartoon images of Pure Vanilla choking on the food or falling hopelessly in love with the handsome blue devil himself.

"Hm.. concerning imagery aside, I'm afraid I'll have to disappoint you. I just don't have a very strong appetite."

Shadow Milk raked his eyes over the other man's form. Since the awakening, he looked significantly stronger and healthier. Bigger, taller, more muscular. There was simply no way that he hadn't accrued some type of ravenous appetite. The Soul Jams were one hell of an energy source, but that didn't mean they never got hungry. Sure, when the pieces had been together as the Soul Jam of Knowledge, he didn't remember ever really needing to take care of his body, but in their weakened states, it was still painful to go too long without food.

He squinted. How annoying. He couldn't imagine the saint Pure Vanilla Cookie being such a hypocrite. Truthless had been outright self-destructive, but this was something else. There was a calculated measure to the way Pure Vanilla lied through his teeth as if the Master of Deceit wouldn't see through such a thing.

"Ahem. May I point out something I notice then?"

"Huh?"

"You made an observation about me, so I think it's only fair if I do the same." Pure Vanilla smiled gently before continuing, "you've been gripping at your Soul Jam this whole time. Is it bothering you..?"

Shadow Milk actually hadn't quite noticed where his hands had been, but now he hesitated to move them. He peeked behind his hands just slightly to see a faint glow resonating from the object, blinking slowly like a heartbeat.

"Oh? You want me to tell you the truth when you so obviously lied to me just now? How ironic! Oh silly Vanilly~ Come on, use your head! I've got you figured out, so try me this time, huh?"

He winked before floating off to regroup with Candy Apple and Black Sapphire as they asked questions about a portrait humg on the other side of the room. Pure Vanilla sat alone at the table, looking on with a new crease in his brow. He whispered quietly to himself, his wings covering up his mouth like he was afraid of someone reading his lips.

Shadow Milk was already getting bored. It had hardly been a day in the Vanilla Kingdom, but it was dreadfully dull. He stared wistfully out of the sugar glass windows at the bustling town square, cookies smiling and trading details about their day. The only cookies he had interacted with were armed to the nines. Their attempts to conceal their weapons were pitiful as if they could seriously conceal anything from the Beast of Deceit.

Pure Vanilla Cookie had returned to his office to work on some paperwork on the other side of the castle; a wing that was heavily guarded and he wasn't allowed to enter. That certainly didn't stop him. After all, what were walls to someone who had portaled across continents? Pure Vanilla didn't even look surprised when Shadow Milk floated up directly through the floor.

"You're torturing me"

Shadow Milk groaned, flopping down on one of the couches on the wall opposite to Pure Vanilla's desk. Even this felt more comfortable than his bed.

"Is that so?"

Pure Vanilla's head didn't even rise as his fingers clacked away on a typewriter. His hands were focused entirely entirely on his work even if his staff, leaning against the wall, had its eye fixed on Shadow Milk.

"None of the cookies out there will even talk to me! It's so boring! There's nothing to do!"

He whined, twisting around on the cushions like he was genuinely suffering from some elaborate illness.

"Well, they are working. Why don't you visit the library? I will admit that most of the books are in braille though"

"Been there, done that! I've read every book that was published before my banishment."

At that, Pure Vanilla had to chuckle.

"Do you know how many books have been written since then? I'm not actually sure there are any books that were published before that point"

Truly Shadow Milk's interest was piqued, not that he would admit it. What he really wanted was attention, not a distraction. He would visit the library later. He wanted to catch up on the history he had missed.

"Nope! Don't wanna! I'm cold! Why don't you warm me up huh?~"

He floated over to brace his hands on the waffle cone desk. He already felt warmer just being close to Pure Vanilla. It was as if he radiated light and warmth.

With a resigned sigh, Pure Vanilla gestured to the chair Shadow Milk was currently floating right next to.

"If you want to, you can sit next to me while I work. You'll be waiting for an awful long time though."

He didn't know whether to smile at his triumph or roll his eyes at his defeat. He wasn't forced out, but it wasn't what he want. That didn't mean he didn't drag the chair to Pure Vanilla's side of the desk.

He leaned his head lightly on Pure Vanilla's shoulder, testing the waters while he read through the jargon the other was working on. Vanilla's shoulder tensed considerably, but he didn't say anything.

"You're even warmer now. That's probably the only thing you could hold over Truthless' head" Shadow Milk snorted.

–––

Just how long was Pure Vanilla going to stay holed up in this stuffy little room? The sun was practically starting to set! Shadow Milk was hardly a patient cookie. After hours of watching Pure Vanilla toil away he had begun to grow restless, throwing his head back and groaning every few seconds.

"I only have a few more reports to write, I promise."

Pure Vanilla voice sounded hoarse from disuse and his eyes were heavy and tired.

"... here. You looked like you were having a good time last time, so why don't you preen them while you wait?"

The wings on Pure Vanilla's ears stretched out making him appear even more radiant than before. When did he get so.. bright? It made Shadow Milk shiver and his jaw tighten.

"Fine."

He hated when Pure Vanilla was right. He did love the wings. They were deliciously soft. If he closed his eyes he could almost imagine running his hands through Eternal Sugar's feathers instead. Pure Vanilla's were softer though, and they fluttered ever so slightly if he pressed in the right spots. It was hard not to laugh when it happened.

"You're squirming, truther! Are they really that sensitive?"

"No. It's only because you're the one touching them"

"Aww~ maybe you really are falling for me, huh? Two halves of a whole! Thats so typically sappy of you"

"I'm more afraid than flustered really." The words were meager, but truthful, spoken with a tiny smile.

"I'm trying to be a friend for you, but our time in the Spire has not left my mind." Pure Vanilla's hands stopped moving as he turned to Shadow Milk, opening up his eyes. He could only make out the vague shapes of Shadow Milk's face, but it was enough. "Forgiveness is not easy, but forgetting is nigh impossible. I'm sure you can understand that better than anyone else."

Pure Vanilla moved his hands up to cup Shadow Milk's face, gently gliding his fingers along the expanse of powder blue skin like he was reading a book.

"I know you're impatient, but I need time. I want to know you better. I know there's goodness inside you. Will you give me the time I need to find it?"

The jester felt his head nod and a tiny hum of approval leave his mouth before he could process what he was doing. Then, his eyes shot open and he nearly fell backwards scrambling away from Pure Vanilla's trance-inducing touch.

"You! You're playing tricks on me! Keep your disgusting magic away from me!"

He had backed himself against the wall. All of the pupils in all of his eyes slitted like like a cat. His heart was thumping wildly in his chest. What spell had that fool cast on him?

His hands clasped around his Soul Jam until they hurt. The hair lashed behind him, curling it's way over his head like it was a snake poised to strike.

"Don't touch me!"

And then he was gone. Sinking back into the comforting embrace of his other realm.

–––

Shadow Milk spent the next few days in isolation. He flitted between the other realm and his temporary room in the castle, only occasionally stepping out to listen to Candy Apple and Black Sapphire's reports. Every day there would inevitably come a knock at his door and a voice calling out to him to eat or trying to apologize. He ignored it.

He didn't care how painful the Soul Jam became. It had gone thousands of years alone in that tree. It would be fine without its other half. It would be fine.

It wasn't fine. It burned. It made Shadow Milk feel like he was choking on his own howls of pain. No matter how much he clawed it, it's tugging was constant, trying to drag him along with its whims. Why was it acting up? It had never done this before Pure Vanilla awakened. That.. that witch-lover! He hated him!

Until those tanned fingers snuck their way under his door, and he was crawling to them like a pathetic dog. He sat with his back leaning against the door as he let his fingers fall over Pure Vanilla's. The pain eased up just enough for him to breath, even if he was still panting.

"Please come out. You sound like you're in pain."

"I am in pain! And it's your fault! You gnat!" He barked out without regard for how sore his throat was. "You cursed me! Or poisoned me! You did something!"

His claws dug into the back of Pure Vanilla's hand drawing up tiny pinpricks of blood.

"I promise I haven't done anything. I only want to help, but I can't do that if you won't let me in." His voice was a soothing balm to Shadow Milk's shot nervous system. It was gentle in all it's firmness. There was an undercurrent of worry, but mostly he was grounded. He knew where he was an what he wanted. How annoying.

The lock on the door slowly clicked, allowing Pure Vanilla to creak open the door just enough to slide inside, closing it quickly behind him again. Shadow Milk was laying on his back on the floor, limbs spread out as sweat seemed to seep through the tight fabric of his clothing. Pure Vanilla lowered himself to lay next to him, clasping Shadow Milk's hand in his own.

"I hate you."

"That's okay."

"Candy Apple and Black Sapphire are still okay? Nobody has touched them? They've only said good things, but they're very good liars"

Shadow Milk felt his hand being squeezed gently

"They're doing just fine. The girls are quite enraptured by Candy Apple's.. excitability. She's been playing dress up with them I believe. Black Sapphire is certainly a busy body, but he's made some friends too. There's a certain cookie on the night shift he likes to trade gossip with. They miss you. You should come to dinner."

Shadow Milk closed his eyes. The pain in the Soul Jam had numbed to a dull ache. Suddenly it was hard to stay awake with how hard his body had been working to power through. He nodded at Pure Vanilla's suggestion, but he didn't open his eyes.

"What time is it right now"

"There's enough time for a nap. You look like you need one"

With a little help, Shadow Milk had dragged himself up from the floor and onto the bed hurrying himself in the covers. Pure Vanilla pulled the chair over from the small desk on the wall so that he could sit next to the bed.

"Do you want me to stay with you?"

"No."

He mumbled even as he reached his hand out from under the blankets to hold Pure Vanilla's again. Maybe he was just getting used to it by now, but the bed didn't feel quite as uncomfortable anymore.

–––

After a week without food, that dinner might have been the best thing he had even eaten. Every bite nearly brought tears of joy to his eyes. In fact, they did bring tears to the eyes in his hair. Every time someone brought him more, he would clasp his hands around theirs and thank them with a bravado only Shadow Milk Cookie could hope to muster. He had finished three plates stacked with jellies and pasta before he started slowing down.

"Oh food, how I missed you! I'll never betray you again!"

He lamented over the clean plate, his belly full and the sweet taste still lingering on his tongue. Now that he was satisfied, the world seemed brighter. Candy Apple's laughs made his chest swell with pride and Black Sapphire retorts made him beam.

"Are you feeling better now" Pure Vanilla laughed, covering his smile with his hand.

"I don't think I've ever felt better~" He purred in reply, draping himself over Pure Vanilla's shoulder to soak up the warmth that kept his Soul Jam's anger at bay.

–––

They next days passed in relative peace. They had fallen into somewhat of a routine. Everyone gathered together for breakfast and dinner. Pure Vanilla spent most of the day bent over his desk and Shadow Milk spent most of the day pestering him.

Today Shadow Milk fingered through the pages of a history book. Apparently, it was very surprising to Pure Vanilla that he could read braille as if he hadn't been alive when it was invented.

The sun was warm as he stretched himself out on the couch in the office. He had closed his eyes as he read, barely even paying attention to the letters under his fingers.

"Blueberry... Blueberry Yogurt Academy..? Hey, blondie, your book has a typo!"

"Really? Let me feel."

Shadow Milk gladly slid the book through the air, his magic stopping it just before it hit Pure Vanilla in the face. He lazily flipped the page to the one he had been reading.

"Right there! Blueberry Yogurt Academy? Really? How does a mistake like that even happen!"

Pure Vanilla looked at him perplexed.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand. There's nothing wrong with it as far as I can tell"

"Uh, hello? Yogurt? Obviously they meant the Blueberry MILK Academy. Only the oldest standing magic school on the whole of Earthbread!"

"It was called the Blueberry Yogurt Academy when I attended"

Shadow Milk's head shot up from where he lazed on the couch. If Pure Vanilla could see, he'd be able to watch the cogs turning in Shadow Milk's head.

"They.. they renamed MY academy?! My life's work?! It's the only thing still standing from my kingdom and they just.. erased my name from the record?!"

"Your academy? Do you mean to say..?"

Pure Vanilla's eyes sparkled at this new information. If he was trying to hide the smile spreading across his cheeks, he wasn't doing a very good job.

"Obviously! Do you seriously think the Cookie of Knowledge didn't have a hand in constructing the single best magic academy in Crispia? All of my best research was conducted there!"

"Why blueberries?"

Pure Vanilla's wide-eyed curiosity almost reminded Shadow Milk of his students before attendance dropped. The memory was sweet. The question not so much.

"It's just an old nickname." He brushed it off cooly, taking the book back and continuing to read about the achievements of his academy since he'd been gone.

"Who gave it to you?"

"Stop asking questions."

"If you tell me, you can play with my wings"

He shut the book and eyed Pure Vanilla suspiciously. He weighed the pros and cons in his head, but it didn't matter once Pure Vanilla shook his head, fluffing up the feathers to be.. irresistible. He was caving before he could even fly himself over to sink his hands in.

"My old friends. But Sugar was the one who came up with it. She came up with nicknames for everyone"

His voice was filled to the brim with fondness, but his eyes were misty and downturned.

"I wonder how she's doing these days.."

"It sounds like she means a lot to you. She sounds very kind. As long as she continues to care for you as well, I'm sure she's very happy."

Shadow Milk laughed at a joke that Pure Vanilla wasn't even aware he had made. What was Shadow Milk even worried about? Of course the Bringer of Happiness was happy.

"Why are we here?!" Shadow Milk's grating voice was put of place in a market full of happy faces.

"I wanted to apologize for keeping you cooped up in the castle for so long. I might have misjudged your intentions"

Shadow Milk, Candy Apple, and Black Sapphire had all dawned disguises for the sake of humoring Pure Vanilla. Shadow Milk's hair was done half up in braids, his normal attire traded for a flowing blue dress that cinched at his waist. In his hand, he held onto a tiny cookie with green apples bobbing along on her head. Black Sapphire, or rather, Grapevine Cookie held her other hand looking overall uninterested.

"Shadow- ah, I mean, Blue Raspberry Cookie, what do you think of these flowers? They're a gift for a friend, so I want to make sure they're perfect."

"Are you telling me you don't know what kind of flowers your friends like?"

"No, I'm afraid it.. hasn't come up"

"Well, I can tell you how.. dastardly lilies are!"

Shadow Milk pointed his nose up in the air in disdain at the thought of them. He couldn't even stand the smell of them.

"Hm, yes, I don't suppose he would like them either.. How about you Green Apple?" Pure Vanilla kneeled down to her level and gestured to the various bushels on the display shelves. Candy Apple broke away from the hands holding her to wander around.

"Oh oh! These blue ones look just like Lady Blue Raspberry Cookie! And these milk crowns grow everywhere around the Spire!"

"There are more roses than milk crowns really!" Sapphire butted in pointing out an entire shelf of roses in different colors.

Pure Vanilla looked at his blue companion expectantly, urging him to step deeper inside the shop. He examined each of the display bouquets carefully. He scowled at any wilting leaves and completely refused to walk past any particularly fragrant flowers.

"Well.. everything here pales in comparison to the beauty of yours truly, but I suppose if I had to pick, the daffodils aren't.. terrible."

Pure Vanilla nodded with a smile.

"Thankyou for your input everyone. It's very valuable to me. Why don't you three pick somewhere to go for lunch while I pay here?"

–––

"Over there! I want pie! Please, please, please, Blue Raspberry Cookie?" Candy Apple pulled at Shadow Milk's skirt and looked up at him with those wide puppy-dog eyes.

"Are you an idiot?" Black Sapphire snatched her up and held her out at arms length. "Pure Vanilla is paying. That means, we could he feasting on anything we could imagine and you want pie? That's not even a lunch food"

Shadow Milk's lips tightened into a thin line of disapproval as he sat on a nearby bench to rest his feet. He wasn't used to actually walking, especially in heels. This must have just been another tactic to wear him down. Well two can play at that game. After all, he was only here to reclaim his Soul Jam. He just needed to find a way to be invited into Pure Vanilla's room sooner rather than later. Maybe he only needed to turn up the charm. Truthless Recluse certainly found him.. irresistible. The jester only needed to remind him just how much pleasure he could bring.

"Grapevine is right. There's a very elegant venue not too far from here. Besides, the desserts there will be much better than any pie a simple diner could serve"

Blue Raspberry was a high class cookie after all. It was worth it even if Candy's pout tugged at his heart strings. Some sacrifices just had to be made. Besides, at least Black Sapphire would be happy, and he wasn't in the business of playing favorites. It was about time he did something nice for his second in command.

As he spotted Pure Vanilla making his way towards them through the crowd, Shadow Milk pulled down at the neckline of his dress until just a hint of cleavage was visible. Shadow Milk's body might have been broken and scarred, but Blue Raspberry's was perfect if Pure Vanilla's staring was anything to go by.

"Excuse me, eyes up here mister" He hooked one finger under Pure Vanilla's chin, forcing him to make eye contact.

"I- of course, I would never- ahem. Have you all decided where you want to go?" That was exactly the color Shadow Milk wanted to see. That dust of blush might just be his favorite sight in the world.

"I know a place~" He hooked his arm in Pure Vanilla's, waving for the two younger cookies to follow.

–––

"Ah, this place is quite.. extravagant. But I do suppose I offered to take you all out, so it's no trouble! Don't be afraid to eat to your heart's content. It's on me."

Pure Vanilla's smile was almost sickeningly sweet as they were led to a booth in a quite corner of the restaurant next to a window that overlooked the edge of the floating kingdom. The view was magnificent. The sky was a bright blue and the clouds slowly drifted along looking especially regal.

It might have been more traditional to sit across from one's date, but Shadow Milk very intentionally scooted in beside Pure Vanilla letting Candy Apple and Black Sapphire sit on the other side of the table. He scooched in close, backing Pure Vanilla against the window and letting his hands rest idly on the saint's arm. Pure Vanilla's feathers fluttered but he didn't complain.

"What a beautiful family! I didn't know Pure Vanilla Cookie was seeing anyone" The waiter commented as he gently placed menus in front of each of them.

"Ah, no-" Pure Vanilla began before he was cut off.

"Why thankyou! The kids are mine of course, but my beloved has been very accommodating!" Trying to sell the lie, Shadow Milk pressed his chest into Pure Vanilla's arm, making sure he could feel the give of his bosom.

Pure Vanilla waited until the waiter had flited away before he spoke again.

"Shadow Milk, I'm not sure how comfortable I am with.." Pure Vanilla pulled his arm away and kept his voice low. The mask that Shadow Milk dawned slipped just for a second before his smirk returned.

"Aw come on Nilly~ we used to have so much.. fun" His breath was hot on Pure Vanilla's neck as he leaned in to whisper. His hand wandered southward teasing dangerously close to Pure Vanilla's groin.

"Dad!" Black Sapphire's face had turned beet red and he had his hand clasped over Candy Apple Cookie's ears. The silence that fell over the group was suffocating.

Shadow Milk disentangled himself from Pure Vanilla and was blinking blankly. Black Sapphire was equally as embarrassing by the flirty pair across from him as he was by what he had just called out. It was the only word that Candy Apple had heard because of how loud it was and her mouth hung agape before she slapped her hands over Black Sapphire's mouth.

"Y-you can't call him that! You have to respect Master Shadow Milk Cookie at all times!"

It turn, Shadow Milk reached across the table to cover Candy Apple's mouth, but the damage was already done. Every cookie in the vicinity was staring at them, whispering. He could catch everything, but someone had pointed out the sharp teeth in Shadow Milk's mouth. He hard another whisper from the other side talking about the eyes that had apparently opened in his hair. The more he heard, the harder it was to keep his disguise together. The only thing that broke him down faster than the whispers were the watery eyes directly across from him. In an instant, Blue Raspberry Cookie had melted away and Shadow Milk had scooped Candy Apple into his arms, hovering with her high above the patrons' heads. Black Sapphire was quick to shed his own disguise and join them apologizing rapidly to both Shadow Milk and Candy. There was no response before a portal opened up above their heads leaving Pure Vanilla to fend for himself as everyone bombarded him with questions.

–––

Shadow Milk had portaled them into his own room in the castle. He set Candy Apple down gently on the edge of the bed and had Black Sapphire join her. Shadow Milk kneeled in front of them and abruptly pulled them into a tight group hug that had Sapphire and Candy staring at each other in bewilderment. Candy Apple was the first to return the gesture followed by Black Sapphire awkwardly patting Shadow Milk on the back.

"I'm sorry" He rasped out in between ragged breaths as he tried desperately to recuperate. He groaned as he slowly leaned back, keeping one hand on each kid's shoulder.

"Master Shadow Milk Cookie-"

"You don't have to call me that" Shadow Milk sighed as he stood back up shaking his head. He ruffled the hair on Black Sapphire's head ever so slightly before he caught sight of the new vase standing on the desk. Daffodils. Of course they were for him. Pure Vanilla must have had them delivered before he met up with them in the square. He smiled faintly and turned back to the siblings still wide-eyed in their disbelief.

"Go on then! If I know anything about that idiot it's that he got flowers for you too. It'd be a shame if they wilted before you got to enjoy them"

The bat cookies were all too eager to scamper off and compare their gifts, leaving Shadow Milk alone with the bouquet. There was a small note nestled in between the sunny yellow petals. The letters were shaky and rough, clearly Pure Vanilla's handwriting. He hadn't even used his staff to see what he was writing. How typically sappy of him. It was hard to make out, but Shadow Milk was eventually able to make out the words; 'You look stunning no matter what ♡'

What? Shadow Milk turned the paper over in his hands, searching for some kind of second meaning. Of course he knew that he was attractive. There was no reason for Pure Vanilla to comment on it. And that.. heart. What was Pure Vanilla getting at? And why did Shadow Milk feel so.. warm? He felt at his usually frigid skin and found that it was bordering on being outright hot. He needed Pure Vanilla to get back to the castle this instant. There was no more time for questions.

It didn't take long of opening tiny portals around where they had walked before he found Pure Vanilla surrounded by concerned cookies and was pulling him through a portal that landed him cradled in Shadow Milk's arms for a moment before being abruptly dropped on the ground.

"What is the meaning of this?" Shadow Milk waved the paper in front of Pure Vanilla's staff so he could see it.

"Shadow Milk! I was trying to-!"

"I don't care! You can go back tomorrow and explain, but I can't wait! You make me sick!"

Shadow Milk pulled at his collar trying to cool himself down as Pure Vanilla situated himself to sit on the bed and properly examine what Shadow Milk was trying to show him.

"Ah, I see. I only wanted to pay you a compliment. I thought it might make you feel appreciated. You've been keeping me company while I work recently, and I wanted to say thankyou."

"And the heart?"

Pure Vanilla's only response was to smile warmly like Shadow Milk was supposed to know what that meant. Apparently, his Soul Jam did. It glowed softly on his ruff, gleaming happily. Shadow Milk could only assume it was responding to whatever illness Pure Vanilla had brought upon him. He covered it up with his hands, floating out of reach before Pure Vanilla could finish casting any of his nasty light magic spells.

"You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?" He hissed. "It's your fault I'm so.. so! Uhg!" He crossed his arms and pouted as he floated himself back down to lay on the bed finding that he was at a loss for words. "I hate you." He grumbled.

"The only thing I'm doing is being nice. Are you saying you're not feeling well? If you need, I could try to ease any discomfort.."

Pure Vanilla moved his wrist to rest against Shadow Milk's forehead.

"Hmm. Well, you are very warm, but I don't think that you're sick"

"Don't lie to me! There's obviously something wrong! Even if my body is fine, the Soul Jam is.. freaking out! I don't know!"

He gestured wildly as the blue gem continued to give off a soft light.

"Is there a possibility that you're just.. embarrassed?" Pure Vanilla rested his hand on Shadow Milk's chest, feeling the thumping of his heart. "Has nobody ever called you beautiful before?"

Shadow Milk felt even worse than before.

"Of course they have! I'm perfection! The most magnificent cookie to have ever lived! My followers used to sing my praises for hours! There were entire festivals dedicated to me!"

"Did you believe them?"

Did he believe them? What kind of stupid question was that? Of course he believed them. He used to believe them.

"I don't look the same" he mumbled letting his hands move to toy with Pure Vanilla's fingers over his chest.

"Neither do I"

"You're.. different. You're.. perfect"

Pure Vanilla leaned down until his forehead rested against Shadow Milk's. Shadow Milk could feel the fluttering of Pure Vanilla's eyelashes against his cheeks. Breathing in the warm scent did more than he cared to admit to level his emotions.

"I'll say it until you do believe it. You're beautiful. You're handsome. You're stunning. You're gorgeous."

"Shut up!"

"You're perfect just the way you are."

The Soul Jam still hadn't stopped glowing. It wasn't uncomfortable or distracting, really, but it was.. embarrassing! How was he supposed to leave his room looking like that? Black Sapphire would gossip about his endlessly. He would never hear the end of Pure Vanilla's disgusting lovey-dovey preaching or his teasing, but the fact was that they never actually did eat lunch and the sun was starting to set. Shadow Milk hadn't stopped pacing trying to figure out a way to enjoy his dinner without needing to see anyone else and without Pure Vanilla knocking at his door and asking him to talk about what was wrong and how he was feeling. There had been enough feelings for one day after the disaster that happened in town. Pure Vanilla was probably out there right now comforting any cookies that Shadow Milk had unintentionally terrorized. Really it wasn't his fault they were so discriminatory. Just because he looked a little odd everyone was scared of him? He hadn't even actually done anything. And he couldn't stand the thought of what they might have been saying about his kids. If anyone had the nerve to insult even a single hair on their heads he would rip them to shreds!

He could always take off the Soul Jam he figured. Of course, it was slightly more risky. The Jam had a certain range of effect and if he were to walk outside of it.. he didn't even want to consider the possibilities. Blue Raspberry Cookie simply stored it in her basket. Perhaps Shadow Milk could do the same? Would anyone else notice if he were suddenly carrying around a purse? It wasn't out of the ordinary for him to be doing something strange. Maybe Blue Raspberry could just go to dinner instead but that might raise even more questions.

Shadow Milk stared at himself in the mirror for a long time, poking and prodding at the Soul Jam to see if it might calm down. He had to bite his lip to keep any uncouth noises from escaping, painful or otherwise. After all, touching one's actual soul was intense in all directions. He almost wondered if the other half could feel it too. They had briefly conjoined back in the Spire and ever since them, the two halves had seemed to share a strange connection. It was annoying to know at least in some capacity how Pure Vanilla was feeling and it was more annoying to know that Pure Vanilla could feel Shadow Milk's emotions in turn.

There really wasn't anything he could do, was there? He was out of time. Any second now, there would be a knock on his door telling him to eat with his family (and Pure Vanilla).

"Master Shadow-! Or uhm.. Master.. Dad..?"

At least his sweet little Candy Apple would be his executioner. The eyes in his hair looked down cast, tiny tears welling in the corners. The squeaking of the door hinge was the nail in the coffin.

"Don't look at me! I'm.. emotional!" His let his voice fall out in a dramatic sob as he pretended to faint in mid-air.

"When isn't he?" Black Sapphire whispered to his sister clearly not trying to hide his blatant insubordination. Candy's chuckling just might be the death of him. It was going to be a long night.

"It's not that bad! I think it's pretty!" Wasn't she just a peach?

"At least somebody in this family still knows what the word respect means" Shadow Milk could only roll his eyes and float along with his arms crossed over his chest as he shot a pointed look at Black Sapphire.

Pure Vanilla was already waiting for them at their usual empty ballroom, but the doors behind him were closed.

"Uhm, hello? The tables are inside?" Shadow Milk scolded.

"Haha! I know, but there's going to be a full moon tonight, so I thought we might eat in the garden. There's a table away from the lilies, don't worry" Pure Vanilla assured, reaching up to hold Shadow Milk's hand. "I've been looking forward to watching my queen of the night's bloom. They only do so once a year"

Shadow Milk didn't even really realize when he had taken Pure Vanilla's hand, but it more or less made him forget all about the glowing of his Soul Jam. He knew everything about all of the flowers that might be in Pure Vanilla's garden, but for some reason he was content to listen to the tidbits the healer spouted as they made their way down to the courtyard. Black Sapphire and Candy Apple were content to make fun of him the whole way there.

–––

The garden truly was enchanting at night as long as you ignored the greenhouse filled to the brim with those detestable lilies. The queen of the night plant was indeed in full bloom, each blossom reaching its petals out to its companions. The glow of the moon made the petals appear nearly ethereal. Shadow Milk lost count of how many sleeping orchids they passed. Primroses floated in waffelcone planters next to each marbel bench. It made him a little homesick. He wished there were milkcrowns. It really had been nice to see them back at the shop. They had an upsetting connotation because of an old legend that said they bloomed where tears were shed. Before the beasts fell they grew all over the cemeteries of his old kingdom, but they also grew outside hospitals. He wondered how many of those nourishing tears might actually have been the joyful tears of new parents or discharged patients. In fact, he remembered giving bouquets of milkcrowns to Candy Apple and Black Sapphire when he first took them in because of how happy it made him to raise children of his own.

Pure Vanilla eventually led them to a table with a candle burning brightly in the middle. Plates of food were already situated at each spot and by the looks of it, Shadow Milk's plate was next to Pure Vanilla's. It was quite strange to see the two meals next to each other. Pure Vanilla was strictly vegetarian, but he had always acknowledged Shadow Milk's preference for meat. It wasn't as if he was particularly picky, but sharp teeth like his own were ill-suited for chewing fruits and vegetables and his digestive tract was overall carnivorous. Simply put, his body is unable to process many of the nutrients found in plants. Not that he had explained any of that to Pure Vanilla. Part of him hoped the sheppard didn't think he was just trying to make him uncomfortable. Because he was trying to build trust. That was the only reason.

Pure Vanilla slid in next to Shadow Milk. This time the jester was the one being cornered against the wall though Pure Vanilla provided much more space for the other than Shadow Milk had. This was a second chance. Maybe he had come on too strong earlier, but if he could find a way to get the kids to go inside once they finished, Shadow Milk could have his prey all to himself.

"I told you it would be a beautiful night." Pure Vanilla twisted his staff slowly to take in the view of the flowers under the moonlight before letting it rest next to his seat where it could see his companions instead. There wasn't a bone in Shadow Milk's body that disagreed with the sentiment but he didn't say anything as he wolfed down his meal. He was careful to suck any extra pieces of meat from the grooves in his teeth. This performance needed to be perfect if he was going to get into Pure Vanilla's bed tonight and he couldn't have the taste of steak breaking the illusion.

As dinner went on, Shadow Milk began using the slightest touch of magic to create a chill that conveniently could only be felt by Candy Apple and Black Sapphire. Candy was the first to start shivering, but Sapphire was the first one to actually get up from his seat.

"Witches above, I cannot believe you two aren't cold. I'll make sure Candy goes to bed at a decent time as long as I get to go inside. You can enjoy your date" Candy's heavy eyelids left no room for objection on her part as they alternated between walking and fluttering back inside.

"It's not a date!" Shadow Milk bristled for a moment before clearing his throat and sitting back down and eyeing Pure Vanilla. "It's more like a.. moonlit rendezvous"

"Yes I suppose it is, isn't it? I didn't want to say anything while the others were here, but your Soul Jam has been glowing this whole time. It's very pretty. I'm glad to see that you're happy even if you won't say it out loud."

"I was hoping you wouldn't say anything about it at all" Shadow Milk grumbled, his face turning a slightly darker shade of blue. "In my defense, you're the one who ran off after that kiss."

"Oh my.. I was hoping you wouldn't say anything about that either. In truth, I may have been a little embarrassed myself."

"Oh really? You never seemed all that embarrassed when we played our little games in the Spire" Shadow Milk purred, leaning in closer. He had him exactly where he wanted him.

"Those were very different circumstances, Shadow Milk.."

"Hey, don't be like that! Everything was completely consensual! And you were always very consenting as I recall"

"Would you really have stopped if I asked you to?"

Shadow Milk was completely dumbfounded by the question. Just what the hell kind of thoughts was Pure Vanilla having back then? Sure he might have gotten a little suicidal near the end there, but was he really just sitting there letting himself be used like that?

"Of course I would have! I might be evil, but I'm not a monster! Well.. metaphorically at least. Technically speaking.." Shadow Milk had to shake his head to keep himself from straying from the topic at hand. "That's not the point! I even gave you a safeword! I was rough but I didn't.. I never hurt you, did I?"

It was the kind of thing Shadow Milk never expected would come out of his mouth, but here he was starting to panic about an issue he didn't even realize he had caused. He didn't even know how much of his worry was an act. None of it might have been the correct answer, but it wasn't the answer he liked.

"Perhaps I was only hurting myself" Pure Vanilla turned his head away towards the flowers again. That wasn't an answer Shadow Milk liked either. It wasn't really an answer at all. That's what cookies said when they knew saying yes would hurt the other person's feelings. He couldn't stop himself from digging his claws into the palms of his hands.

It didn't take long for Pure Vanilla to notice what Shadow Milk was doing and seize his hands so that they lay flat on Pure Vanilla's.

"Shadow, please. There are.. a great many mistakes that you have made, but this was not one of them. You're right. You really did give me every opportunity to back out and I'm sorry I didn't recognize it sooner. Hurting yourself does not take away the pain that others have endured nor does it take away your own troubles." Pure Vanilla's eyes were wide open. He only did that when he was really serious about something. Really being honest.

Shadow Milk was the first one to lean forward and pull Pure Vanilla into an embrace. It wasn't nearly as tight as it probably should have been. Shadow Milk wasn't particularly great at affection or comfort after all, but he would try his best for now.

"I should've known."

"I wasn't all bad." The way Pure Vanilla returned the hug was much better than Shadow Milk's sorry attempt at staring it. "We can always try again until we get it right"

Shadow Milk snorted out a laugh.

"Are you seriously saying what I think you're saying right now? You're pretty stupid, huh?"

Pure Vanilla laughed in reply.

"What can I say? I'm quite into family men."

"Alright, you ruined it." Shadow Milk retorted.

He wasn't sure how long they stayed wrapped up like that, but he figured his plan could wait at least.. one more night.

–––

"We should probably get to bed" Pure Vanilla said as they began to walk back through the garden to their rooms. They had reached the crossroads where they would typically part ways and Shadow Milk had already begun to turn down the hall to his own bed when Pure Vanilla called out.

"Wait! Would you.. like to join me tonight?"

That was a strange way of getting what he wanted, but who was he turn down the perfect opportunity.

"Oh? Are you really that impatient? You're a real freak you know~"

"No, not like that." Pure Vanilla was firm in his refusal. Good. Maybe he had finally learned his lesson. "I only wanted to see if you might want to.. cuddle for lack of a better term. I thought that prolonged proximity might help your Soul Jam adjust so it would stop glowing"

"Huh. Actually that's not a bad idea. Alright, lead the way! Your bed is way better than mine anyways."

Shadow Milk didn't realize how much he missed the feeling of silk sheets until he was rubbing his cheeks against the luxurious fabric.

"Shadow Milk, please take off your shoes before you get into bed.."

"Nilla, my shoes don't even touch the ground half the time."

Pure Vanilla shot him a disapproving look that had him floating back up into the air. With a snap of his fingers he had traded out his jester outfit for something more appropriate for bed, even if that was just a long T-shirt and briefs.

"Better?"

"Much" Pure Vanilla stupid happy smile had Shadow Milk burying his face back into the pillows so he didn't have to look at it.

Shadow Milk kept his eyes closed as Pure Vanilla changed into his own night clothes.

"You really do look like an old man when you wear stuff like that you know."

Of course he would sleep in a night gown. Shadow Milk figured he might even have a matching hat. At least he had the luxury of taking off the heavy Soul Jam and placing it on his night stand. Shadow Milk's was still firmly pinned to the fabric of his shirt.

"Don't you want to take yours off too?"

Pure Vanilla had left his staff at the door, but Shadow Milk knew he'd be able to see the light emitted by the glowing gem. He shifted slightly to give Pure Vanilla room to lay down next to him. It felt weird. They both just laid there staring up at the ceiling with their hand folded over their stomachs.

"Can't"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I can but remember when Sapphire had to uh.. wake me up that one time? Yeah. I don't particularly like accidentally dying in the middle of the night. If it gets too far from my body I go limp! Totally slack-jawed! It's not pretty. I can throw it into my other realm and be kind of okay, but even that's risky."

"I didn't know that" Pure Vanilla had turned onto his side to look at Shadow Milk. Not the he could actually see anything. Without light even the tiny pinprick of vision he did have was useless.

Shadow Milk only flipped away from him with a grunt. He didn't talk again until Pure Vanilla had wrapped an arm around his waist and started trailing his fingers down the long scars that marred his arms.

"Don't touch those. They're ugly."

"Do you think mine are ugly?"

"I think everything about you is ugly"

"Oh really? Is that why you were staring at me so hard during dinner? Or at the restaurant for that matter."

Shadow Milk's eyes snapped open as his flipped himself back around to face the other man.

"I was not!"

"Do you think my staff is broken then?"

"It must be. That or your brain" Shadow Milk flicked the tiny star on Pure Vanilla's forhead. He had always wanted to do that. Then, he wrapped his arms back around Pure Vanilla's torso so he could no longer reach them. "Just stop being annoying. I'm tired."

"Of course, dear"

"Since when do you call me that?"

"Since right now. Do you not like it?"

Shadow Milk sighed and pressed his cold nose into Pure Vanilla's chest.

"Do what you want." Shadow Milk was ready close his eyes. Having Pure Vanilla thread his fingers through his hair was only lulling him to sleep even faster.

"Shadow Milk?"

"Hm?" He grunted, already half asleep.

"You're beautiful."

".. okay?"

"I told you I would say it until you believe it."

"You can't even see my right now"

Pure Vanilla only responded with a chaste kiss pressed into the crown of Shadow Milk's.

"Go to sleep."

Shadow Milk stood on the precipice of disaster. The silver forks that fell from heaven shook the entire world under his feet. All of his friends had long since been imprisoned by their own creators and now it was his turn. The shackles aimed for each and every one of his limbs. Try as he might, history could never be changed. The first shackle to latch onto him encircled his neck, choking him and forcing him backwards into his eternal prison. No matter how much he tried to claw at the silver ring, his wrists wouldn't reach. It was all he could do to sputter and cry out, to pray to a pantheon of gods who had betrayed him. Whose own folly had birthed cookies who were destined to be corrupted by the nature of their own existence.

The scene shifted before him, warping until he was surrounded by the familiar walls of his Spire. Whether it was the Spire of Knowledge or Deceit he could never be sure. In front of him, the Truthless Recluse teetered on the edge of a long fall that was undoubtedly crumble him should he take that plunge. The smile on his face was haunting. No matter how fast Shadow Milk could fly, he would always be just out of reach of his other half. The three mangled bodies that lay lifeless on the ground made him sick.

"No! No! You can't! You can't leave me!"

Shadow Milk gagged himself awake, clawing at Pure Vanilla's chest as the earliest light of morning cracked through the window behind him. Pure Vanilla himself was jostled awake by Shadow Milk's flailing. The jester wasn't completely awake until he had spit up a puddle of stomach acid onto his own lap. Even then it was hard to keep his breath under control. He didn't even remember when he had fallen asleep. He was sure he hadn't meant to. He should've snuck out once Pure Vanilla closed his eyes. He could have had the Soul Jam in his grasp and would've been on his way home, finally victorious. Instead he was being cradled in the arms of the same fool he had planned to double-cross.

"Shhh shh I'm right here. I'm with you. You're not alone"

He clung to Pure Vanilla like his life depended on it. He was all he could focus on.

"I was.. you were.. the kids!"

He couldn't speak coherently and his head flung wildly to take in the room around him like he was searching for the two young cookies who he knew were on the complete opposite of the castle.

"Don't worry, they're sleeping soundly in their own rooms. I promise. Everyone is safe. You're safe."

"Yeah.. yeah I.. yeah."

They stayed like that for a few moments until Shadow Milk stopped shaking. A cold sweat made his hair stick to his face in various places and it had soaked through the front of his shirt leaving him shivering from where the cold, wet fabric clung to him. No matter how disgusting he looked, Pure Vanilla didn't let go.

"Why don't we get you cleaned up? The water might help calm you down."

"You should clean your sheets first" Shadow Milk's voice was hoarse and using it scratched his throat.

"Let me take care of it. You're much more important to me than my bedding."

"I shouldn't be."

Shadow Milk leaned heavily on Pure Vanilla's larger form as he was guided slowly to the attached bathroom. A large clawfooted tub gleamed on one end of the room reflected on the marble floor. Everything felt overall too bright and shiny. At least the deafening sound of the running water kept Pure Vanilla from trying to speak as he helped Shadow Milk shed his sweat-soaked clothes, placing the Soul Jam carefully on the counter. He avoided making eyes contact with the mirror at all costs. It was bad enough that Pure Vanilla knew what he looked like naked. The majority of skin on the left half of his chest was scaly and rough from an old fight with Burning Spice. His neck, wrists, and ankles all had friction scars from his time in the tree. He hated his arms the most. Large animalistic claw marks caused discoloration and raised keloids. Even if he used his illusions, he would still be able to feel every blemish.

It wasn't as if he need Pure Vanilla to take off his clothes. They would disappear once Shadow Milk waved them away. But he did it anyways. And he hugged Shadow Milk from behind as they waited silently for the tub to fill up. He knew he should be denying this touch. He didn't need to be comforted especially by Pure Vanilla, but he was too tired to complain. Those tanned hands clasped together at his waist kept him grounded as his head leaned back onto Pure Vanilla's shoulder.

"Alright, come on, let's get you in the bath"

"I don't wanna" He whined pressing his body back into the other's.

He didn't even know Pure Vanilla was capable of of picking him up, but he was being hoisted into his arms like he weighed nothing.

"Hey hey! You can't man handle me! This body is fragile!"

"It's only a bath, it's not going to kill you"

It just might. The water was too hot, he hated his hair being wet, there weren't enough bubbles to cover the surface of the water, he had a million complaints that Pure Vanilla took in stride each time. His hands only worked shampoo through the tresses of Shadow Milk's tangled hair.

"Do you want to tell me about your dream?"

"No." He drew his knees up to his chest and blew at the bubbles floating along with the ripples.

"You don't have to talk until you're ready, but I can try to ease any doubts your having"

"Doubts about what? I, the great and magnificent Shadow Milk Cookie, do what I want when I want!"

"Doubts about anything really. Our relationship, the future. I've already penned letters to the other ancients about your presence here"

"You did what?!" Shadow Milk twisted around, the hairs on the back of his neck stood at attention.

"I'm sorry, but I can't simply keep such a large secret from them. How do you think Candy Apple and Black Sapphire would feel if you didn't tell them you were coming here?"

"That's different! Your witch-loving so-called friends want me dead! That little.. half-cookie could!- Could.. she could.." Before he knew it, he had backed himself into the corned of the tub and was rubbing at his neck.

"I see.. Shadow Milk, I promise that nothing bad will happen to you as long as I have anything to say about it. And trust me, I have a lot to say about it" He laughed lightly as he cupped Shadow Milk's cheek. "I'm not sure when, but I know that they'll want to have a meeting to discuss this. I know it's easier said than done, but when the time comes, you'll need to trust me."

"Trust you?!" Shadow Milk grabbed hold of Pure Vanilla's wrist and growled in his face "You wrote to your namby-pamby half-cookies without even.. you didn't even have to guts to tell me! I should've taken that stupid little trinket from your night stand while I had the chance! Well guess what? I don't need you or your Soul Jam!" He thrust Pure Vanilla's hand away from him as he shook himself dry.

He stood in the middle of the room and with a clap of his hands had covered himself once again. He snatched his Soul Jam off the counter and situated it back on his ruff where it belonged.

"I'm going home."

As he turned his back to Pure Vanilla's his hand was caught and he was being forced to turn back around. The lips that clashed against his own were surprisingly assertive. He would've stumbled if Pure Vanilla hadn't caught him with a firm hand on his lower back. He felt like he was frozen I place, and he might have stayed that way if he hadn't felt the frantic beating of Pure Vanilla's heart. Both Soul Jams were exceedingly warm and he found himself melting into the kiss.

"Mh mh! Nilla!"

He found himself pleading in between gasps for air as he clutched at Pure Vanilla's robes.

"I'll stay I'll stay! Just... let.. me... breath!"

Eventually he was able to wrangle himself away from the embrace, floating out of reach to give himself time to inhale enough air to speak again.

"Oh my. It seems I might have gotten a bit.. carried away." Pure Vanilla's innocent smile was a complete turnaround from the boldness he showed just moments before.

"Uh yeah. A bit" Shadow Milk brushed down the front of himself and swatted away the hearts in his hair. "Quit being so dramatic. It was only a kiss"

"They were only being sweet" Pure Vanilla giggled, reaching up to Shadow Milk down to the ground. "How about some breakfast? The kids should probably be up by now"

–––

"Why should I have to write to them too? I haven't penned a letter in thousands of years! Besides, you already told them everything they actually need to know!"

"Please, bluebird? It would be a good opportunity for them to hear from the real you! It will be much easier for me to convince them that you mean no harm if you personally apologized"

"Apologize? Me? You're kidding. I've barely met most of those cookies. I spent all that time watching you not anyone else. You should all be thanking me! As the origin of magic, you and that.. uhg flowery one wouldn't even know how to cast spells if it weren't for me! You even studied in my academy. Oh! Isn't that fun? I bet White Lily Cookie would just die to become my personal protégé! Oh, she kind of already did, didn't she? Well, half-cookie or full, I don't like her!"

Shadow Milk spun idly in the air in Pure Vanilla's office holding an unused quill that he gestured wildly with each word.

"You're stalling and you're being mean."

"Fine fine! I am a reasonable cookie afterall! I will write four, mind you FOUR entire letters complete with apologies in exchange for a little bit of.. preening?"

He popped up behind Pure Vanilla and tried to grab at one of his wings before it was pulled away.

"I'm sure you'll enjoy it much more as a reward for when you finish." The smirk on Pure Vanilla's face was anything but angelic.

–––

"There! Done! Proofread all you want, I think you'll find that they're the best things you've ever read!"

Shadow Milk dropped the finished letters onto the bed where Pure Vanilla was already tucked in for the night. So what if it had taken him several hours to finish? It would've taken longer if he didn't have a special wing-petting appointment to look forward to.

"Thankyou, Shadow Milk." Pure Vanilla gathered the papers and stacked them neatly on his bedside table. "I'll make sure they get sent first thing tomorrow morning."

"Yeah yeah, whatever. Now roll over and give me those feathers bird boy! You're still shit at taking care of them"

Pure Vanilla huffed a little as he rolled onto his stomach allowing Shadow Milk to sit on the small of his back.

"Might I remind you that I can't exactly see them?"

"You might not be able to, but last time I checked, you have a massive, ridiculously heavy, might I add, seeing-eye staff. Inconvenient if you ask me. Cake hounds do the job just fine for most cookies, but if you want to be all high and mighty, be my guest!" Shadow Milk's hands were already working wonders on the healer's twitching plumage until he had his face buried in his pillow.

"I'm not high and mighty.." his voice came through muffled, but audible.

"Not right now you aren't"

Shadow Milk had to admit, he might be pushing his luck, but what could he say? He was the Fount of Knowledge. Curiosity was practically his middle name. He leaned in until he could feel the heat of his own breath reflected back at him. Ever so tenderly he nibbled at the base of the tiny appendage. The sound that came out of the trembling cookie beneath him was absolutely delectable.

"Oh? I really should have tested these things out sooner hm?"

Shadow Milk's teasing didn't stop there. He was going to break his precious little pet if it killed him. He rubbed his fingers into the miniscule muscles that made the wings stretch and retract and his mouth made it's way down to the nape of Pure Vanilla's neck. Without so much as a warning he was being flipped onto his back and those milky, mismatched eyes were already glazed over in desire.

"Careful! I already told you! This body is much weaker than the original!"

"That didn't seem to matter much in the Spire, did it? Or when you were egging me on. So be a good boy for me, will you?"

When did he get so.. hot? Shadow Milk's mind was practically already blank. He could feel the grinding of an impatient Pure Vanilla against his groin and he knew it wasn't gonna stop until he agreed. Still, he was enough of a brat to throw his head to the side and shut his mouth tightly.

"Oh don't be like that. Isn't this what you've been begging for this whole time? I bet you just need a little bit of special attention and you'll be fully trained won't you?"

He had almost forgotten what it felt like to have Pure Vanilla sucking on his neck like this. It's was as if he was trying to force a 'yes' straight from Shadow Milk's throat. He was fervent and unrelenting, grazing his teeth over all the spots Shadow Milk wanted to be bitten. He squirmed, desperate for friction that he wouldn't be allowed to have.

"Nilla! Nilly! Please! Just give me your dick witchesdamnit!"

"Alright, alright. Remind of the safeword again? It has been a long time afterall."

"Polkadot" Shadow Milk rolled his eyes. If Pure Vanilla was gonna be on top, there was barely a need for a safeword. Better safe than sorry he supposed. He did have a plethora of sharp edges that had a tendency to get out of control in situations like these.

He had expected Pure Vanilla to just take their clothes off and get it done with. During their time in the Spire sex was somewhat transactional. There was little need for foreplay since Shadow Milk would just seek Pure Vanilla out anytime he got horny. This time, it looked like Pure Vanilla was going to take his sweet time devouring what was rightfully his.

It was with slow precision that Pure Vanilla snaked his warm hands up Shadow Milk's torso under the band-tee that he was accustomed to sleeping in. His fingers trailed along each dip and curve that he could find, committing it to memory.

"Look at you. You're so perfect"

Oh. Is this the game they were playing? Shadow Milk wasn't a stranger to compliments, but this was different. The only other people who had seen him shirtless without his illusions had been the beasts. He could feel the muscles in his abdomen twitching in response to the praises Pure Vanilla gave freely with each kiss peppered along the expanse of blue skin. He even complimented places where the nerves had been too damaged to even feel the caresses anymore.

Shadow Milk had his hands held over his mouth firmly to keep the moans at bay. There was no way he was going to give Pure Vanilla the satisfaction of listening to his sex-drunk babbling. They hadn't even gotten to the main event yet and was already soaking himself through the breathable material of his briefs.

"This is unfair.. I'm leveling the playing field."

In reality, Shadow Milk was only getting impatient and he was ready to was pull that stupid nightgown off the blonde's head. He wanted to see what Pure Vanilla's shiny new body looked like in all it's glory. Before his awakening he had been relatively scrawny, but now? His waist was full and strong, his chest puffed out with a renewed sense of pride. He was attractive before with that perfect face of his, but this was almost more than he could handle.

"I hate you so much."

"Mhm.. I don't think your body agrees with you."

Pure Vanilla's hands had traveled lower where they now teased at Shadow Milk's waistband.

"Do you want me to keep going, bluebird?"

"Obviously!"

With a roll of his hips, Shadow Milk was forcing Pure Vanilla's hand lower until his fingers pressed gently at the warm entrance. He circled around the wet hole with reverence until he thought Shadow Milk was ready to take a single finger.

"Fuck.. it's been a couple months hasn't it?"

"Yes, but you're doing very well, dear. I wouldn't let you take anything I didn't think you could handle. But that does mean I want to prep you a little bit.. I can't be completely certain, but the awakening did change a lot about my physical form so.. I'm sure you understand what I'm hinting at."

"What, you don't think I can take your shiny new cock?"

"I didn't say that" Pure Vanilla pushed another finger in, this time letting his thumb rub tiny circles around Shadow Milk's clit that made him shudder. "I'll make it fit. You need to be rewarded for your efforts don't you?"

Pure Vanilla slowly began scissoring and stretching out the tight entrance as his other hand finished pulling down the briefs so Shadow Milk's folds were exposed to the chill of the outside world.

"Don't worry, sweetheart. Just a little longer and I'll be warming you up."

He pressed one palm firmly against Shadow Milk's stomach while he stroked at the sweet spot inside him that had those long eyelashes fluttering shut. Abruptly, he pulled his fingers out with a lewd squelch that had Shadow Milk whining for more.

Pure Vanilla finally had the decency to take off the last of his own garments so he could line himself up. He was right that it was grown ever so slightly girthier, though not obscenely so. Even still, it was absolutely blissful when Shadow Milk finally got his fill.

"Ah! S-stay still for a second. Witches, I'm out of practice"

Pure Vanilla leaned forward until his forehead pressed against the jester's and his hands rubbed soothingly along his sides.

"You feel amazing. You fit so perfectly around me don't you? Look at me when I fuck you"

Ironically, Pure Vanilla's choice of words was exactly what made it so hard for Shadow Milk to look him in the eye as he began to move, slow and steady. Even at a snail's pace, Shadow Milk felt overwhelmed. He could've sworn it didn't feel like this before. He couldn't imagine what it was going to feel like when Pure Vanilla figured out exactly what he could do with the Soul Jam.

The grunts and groans that tumbled out of Pure Vanilla's lips were music to Shadow Milk's ears even as he picked up the pace. His wings flapped contentedly in turn with every thrust and the blush on his cheeks matched that of Shadow Milk's in everything except hue.

"W-where should I..?"

"Inside! Ah! Fuck! Nilla! Inside!" He whined as he wrapped his legs around Pure Vanilla's waist and pulled him close until all he could do was grind until they were both twitching in their shared bliss.

Shadow Milk reveled in the momentary feeling of fullness as he gripped at Pure Vanilla's shoulders, forcing his head down into a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss that lasted long after they had ridden out their climaxes. Even so, Shadow Milk was still twitching in the afterglow and he wasn't eager to let Pure Vanilla pull out just yet.

"Stay still.." he groaned, pulling Pure Vanilla down to lay on top of him as he caught he breath.

"Are you alright, blue?"

"Mhmmm just let me bask"

Pure Vanilla's thumbs pressed small comforting circles into Shadow Milk's hips until they were both finally ready to untangle themselves.

"You really are beautiful. You took me so well" Pure Vanilla purred as he wiped up the remnants of his mess from where it had matted down the course hair on Shadow Milk's groin.

"You know it~ I'm simply irresistible"

"Of course you are" Pure Vanilla puffed out a sleepy laugh as he settled himself back into bed, pulling Shadow Milk against his chest.

The clack of heels on the linoleum was jarring considering how seldom Shadow Milk actually walked anywhere, but he couldn't calm his nerves as he thought about the group of cookies that would be arriving tomorrow. He had bitten his nails down until he no longer had any claws to speak of and the skin around his nails was red and scarred from tugging and picking at it relentlessly.

"I can't put you in the other realm. If anything happens to me while you're there, you'll end up wherever I go. I could take you back to the Spire but.. leaving you here is risky too, but if they don't know you're here.. maybe disguises..?"

There was a chalkboard in the middle of the meeting room that Pure Vanilla, Candy Apple, and Black Sapphire all stared at.

"Dear, I really don't think this is necessary. My friends may not trust you completely, but I'm sure they wouldn't go so far as to harm the children."

"But Black Sapphire isn't a child anymore! And.. Candy has been a child for.. a long time. Really, I should take them back to the Spire anyway. Now that they're outside they've been.. aging."

"I don't wanna go back! Not if you're not with us!" Candy Apple piped up.

"For once, I agree with her. If you were to crumble, the magic in the Spire will fizzle away and we'd be too far away for anyone here in Crispia to retrieve us. It'd be a different story if they sealed you in the Silver Tree again, but considering that you broke free once already..." Black Sapphire trailed off.

"Really, all of you, nothing is going to happen to separate or harm you"

Pure Vanilla's attempt at comfort drew the worried and distrustful looks of everyone else. Shadow Milk took a deep breath and stood up straight before speaking again.

"You're right. Nothing is going to harm them. I'll make sure of it."

With a wave of his arm the chalkboard had been cleared of all it's writing. He took the chalk in his hand again and drew up a plan.

"You're going to stick together at all time, alright? While there are guests, the most secure room in the castle should be Pure Vanilla's. I can leave a small rift open from there to the edge of the kingdom. Of course, I can open another portal to give you a signal if things start to get dicey. I want you to be ready to leave and rendezvous with Nilla as soon as possible in the village below. I'll check on you as often as I can sneak peeks without anyone noticing. Understand?"

The siblings' determination was absolute as they agreed in unison.

"Pure Vanilla. If I find out that any one of those half-cookies has so much as insulted my children," the skin on Shadow Milk's face had become more of a goopy black substance that made him look utterly uncanny in combination with how it slid around his exposed bones. "I won't hesitate to make sure the rest of their short little lives will be a living nightmare." With a blink his normal face and happy smile had returned, "Got it?"

Pure Vanilla didn't look nearly as uncomfortable as the form usually made cookies, but his lips had pressed together in a tight, thin line. There was a crease in brow, but if he was angry, he didn't express it .

"I.. can't condone that specifically, but I suppose if I believed my subjects might be in peril, I would be equally frantic. Especially ones so near and dear to me."

–––

Today was the day. During the early morning, Shadow Milk had run through the contingency plan with Sapphire and Candy a few more times. Dark Cacao was the first to arrive, but before he left with Vanilla to greet him, he made sure to hug the kids extra tight. Just in case. He had no way of even knowing if he would make it through the night to get to the proper council tommorow. Everyone might be arriving today, but Pure Vanilla in his eternal kindness figured they would all be too tired from the journey to immediately be discussing life and death. Shadow Milk was pleased to have one more day to prepare for his heartfelt speech on why it was simply easier to leave the Soul Jam of Truth with Pure Vanilla. He was sure Pure Vanilla wanted one more day to put a proper label on the complex relationship they had.

They hadn't exactly discussed specifics, and even if Pure Vanilla brought it up, Shadow Milk didn't know exactly how to describe what he felt. Love felt like too much commitment. The word itself felt heavy. Every time he said he loved something (always ironically or for dramatic effect, mind you), there was a tiny, nagging voice in the back of his mind reminding him that the true object of his affections would never truly be able to return them. Shadow Milk simply wasn't made to love things. He wasn't made to be loved. And now that he had turned into this, he was sure to destroy anything that dared to try and love him.

When they were alone, it was easy to simply refer to Vanilla as his 'other half'. It was straight and to the point. Terms like 'boyfriend' certainly felt too young for old men like them and was far too romantic for Shadow Milk's comfort. But he equally hated when Pure Vanilla simply called him 'friend'. He didn't want to be friends. Surely they were something other than friends. Everyone was Pure Vanilla's friend. Shadow Milk wanted to be special.

Even if he couldn't put a name on what Pure Vanilla was to him, he still stuck to him like glue, thanking all the forces of nature that the healer had promised not to let go of his hand. Dark Cacao was brooding and overall much too tall for Shadow Milk's liking. He had an entire procession of guards, half of whom were already setting up an ugly campsite on the front lawn. Nobody in the entire looked even slightly sweet. It made Shadow Milk's nose bunch up in distaste at the bitter expressions on everyone's faces. Even Dark Cacao who should be overjoyed to see his good friend looked contemplative at best and outright mad at worst.

"Pure Vanilla Cookie. I was under the impression that the Beast would be chained during our discussions. If it has broken away from its confinements, please allow me to remedy the situation"

As the sharp edge of Dark Cacao's sword pointed at Shadow Milk's neck, he aptly used his free hand to grab his hair and pull his head right off. Maybe a trick like that would lighten the mood. It did always seem to be a crowd pleaser.

"Woah pal! Careful where you swing that thing! You might hurt somebody"

He didn't reattach his head until the sword was lowered.

"Dark Cacao Cookie, it is a pleasure to see you again. I can assure you, Shadow Milk has never been trapped by chains or anything of the sort. He is a dear friend to me much like you are"

"Aww, Nilly, how sweet! Though I think I'm little bit more dear to you than others, right?"

Shadow Milk nudged Pure Vanilla with his shoulder teasingly and batted his eyelashes.

"No. I value all of my friends equally, though perhaps in different ways."

That was not the answer he wanted. A growl almost bubbled up from his throat before Dark Cacao interrupted.

"Does that thing ever unhand you?"

The growl was directed at Dark Cacao now. Thing? Really? He hadn't been called that for a very very long time, and he had wanted to keep it that way. He refused to let those tainted memories affect him ever again.

"He said it would make him feel more safe, so I promised not to let go until he felt comfortable-"

"Oh my Witches! Or until your lackies start trampling over my milkcrowns! I just planted those!"

Shadow Milk had to shoo a group of disgruntled Dark Cacao warriors away from his injured flowers before he began to nurse any of the damaged blossoms.

"These are very delicate! This is the only patch of ground with the right soil density for them to thrive! You ruffians just can't enjoy anything nice, can you?! These are my dau- MY favorites!"

As Shadow Milk tended to his small patch of injured flowers, Dark Cacao raised an eyebrow and looked to Pure Vanilla speaking quietly enough so only he could hear.

"It seems different from what you describe while in Beast-Yeast"

"He has grown quite a lot"

Pure Vanilla looked on fondly, pure adoration on his features.

–––

One ancient down. Three more to go. Dark Cacao had returned to camp to finish setting up and to train. Whatever did he need to train for. Shadow Milk rolled his eyes. He was back together with Pure Vanilla while they waited for an airship that was apparently transporting Hollyberry Cookie. The only thing Shadow knew about her was that Eternal Sugar Cookie had apparently played a rather intense game with her. Sugar must have been fond of her if she had tried to lock Hollyberry up so tightly in her jewelry box.

He heard boisterous laughing long before he was able to see where it was coming from. Contrary to Dark Cacao, Hollyberry had only brought a single gruff-looking escort with her. Even then, he seemed awfully weak compared to the woman he was accompanying even if she reeked of berry juice. Though Shadow Milk hadn't been much better in the couple years before his fall.

"Pure Vanilla Cookie! Bring it in friend!"

Hollyberry wasted no time in snatching up Pure Vanilla and hoisting him into the air in a tight embrace. He was flailing, though laughing, long before she put him down.

"Then this must be Eternal Sugar's friend, right?"

It was disorienting just how quickly he was pulled out of the air and had a rough set of knuckles mussing around in his hair. The scream of terror he unleashed was only genuine for a moment before it was overridden by annoyance that his bangs had been knocked out of place. When he was finally released, he was eager to find solace in Pure Vanilla cloak as he open an arm specifically for Shadow Milk's refuge.

Even playful gestures like that, if preformed by particularly strong and reckless cookies, were enough to leave him sore and aching. Vanilla's proximity helped with some of those side effects.

He summoned a mirror in his hair to fix his appearance as he spoke.

"Jeez, I can't believe Sugar wanted to keep you of all people. Did Pavlova let a stray arrow hit her or something?"

When he was satisfied with his appearance again, he tossed the mirror behind him and smirked when he heard it shatter. Pure Vanilla winced at the noise.

"You're going to clean that up, right?"

"Yeah yeah, already done. It's somewhere in the other realm now. Anywho! Who's tall, dark, and brooding over here?"

The armored cookie next to Hollyberry readjusted his gauntlet at the mention of himself.

"Wildberry Cookie. I will protect the Queen-Mother at all costs."

"Huh. Mmkay, you sure you're a Hollyberrian? The Dark Cacao warriors are that-a-way!"

Shadow Milk pointed to the large tent he could already see would be blocking the sunlight to a majority of the front garden. Are they trying to piss him off?

"Very funny." Wildberry was not amused.

He was especially unamused when Hollyberry slapped a strong hand against his back with a laugh.

"That is funny! Really, I keep telling you to lighten up! I brought a very good blend of berry juice that I'm confident will loosen you up! Eternal Sugar Cookie loved it, so I'm sure this blue fellow will too!"

It turned out that Holly and Sugar had actually gotten along rather well at least once she had been released from the garden. It was good to hear what his friend had been up to for all these years. Apparently her garden was actually doing quite well, though Pavlova and Sugarfly were a little worse for wear. Shadow Milk was sure she'd only locked them down a little harder after her imprisonment. Afterall, they must have been completely lost without her to tend to the garden. She was only keeping them safe. They'd be absolutely overjoyed once they all calmed down a bit and realized that Sugar hadn't really changed that much.

They all talked so long that the group had ended up sitting in Hollyberry's guest room with Pure Vanilla's arm wrapped firmly around Shadow Milk's waist. Everytime he recalled a particularly fond memory of Eternal Sugar, Pure Vanilla's grasp would tighten ever so slightly. He wondered if maybe he was mad? He was just telling stories about his old friends and most of them were from before their fall, so what could he possibly be mad about? Back then, they all avoided hurting cookies like the plague. Even now, Sugar had never actually crumbled anybody.

His train of thought was interrupted when a small castle servant knocked at the door to tell them that Golden Cheese Cookie had arrived. Pure Vanilla and Shadow Milk excused themselves to greet her, leaving the Hollyberrians to settle in.

"What was that all about?"

Shadow Milk rubbed at his side as they walked.

"I'm sorry, dear, I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"I'm right as rain! Don't know what you could possibly be crying over though"

"Oh! I'm not upset with you! It's only... you and Eternal Sugar Cookie.. You speak of her very fondly. Is it possible that you were ever..?"

Shadow Milk gasped at the realization.

"Oh my! Nilly! You're jealous!"

"No, I'm not.. hmm well.. perhaps I am. I've never really felt like this before."

"Hah! Now you know how I feel everytime is see your favorite flower"

"Hehe.. that was.. a long time ago bluebird. But if it makes you feel better, I can certainly make sure to give you some extra attention while she's here"

Shadow Milk preened in mid-air, floating happily in circles around his other half.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, everything between Sugar and I happened a long time ago too. We were uh, batting for different teams if you get what I mean"

"Oh." Pure Vanilla blushed slightly and looked away with a tiny sparkle of pride in his eyes, "I see."

–––

Shadow Milk insisted on checking on the children (who were completely fine) quickly before they headed down to greet Golden Cheese in the foyer.

She was completely radiant, literally. The way her hair and wings gleamed like gold almost made it hard to look at her. She kept her arrow-shaped spear held at attention at her side as she gave Shadow Milk an appraising glare. He was giving her an equally intense stare, but his was directed at her wings. Did everyone he know have wings these days? Hers were especially intriguing though.

"Just what are you staring at?" She tapped the spear against the ground to emphasize her annoyance.

"Your wings.. they don't have feathers, but they're different from insects or any type of wing with a membrane. What exactly are they made of?"

Shadow Milk floated forward a few inches, trying to examine them closer with an outstretched hand. They were retracted and pulled close to her body before he could make contact.

"You dare make an attempt to touch me? After your little friend tore the old ones off, what makes you think I'd let you anywhere near them, beast?"

Shadow Milk recoiled at the information, flitting to hide halfway behind Pure Vanilla, his hands grasping loosely at his shoulders. What was she talking about?

"Wait, are you saying Burning Spice.."

The digust and horror on his features must have been abundantly clear by the way Golden Cheese lowered her guard. Shadow Milk couldn't help but trace one hand over the burt half of his body. He barely noticed when Pure Vanilla's hand came up to rest atop his own.

"Hah, wow.. what did you do to him, huh? He got me pretty good too back in the day but that's because I decided I was way too good to date a brute like him!"

"Really? All that because of.. a breakup..?" Pure Vanilla's sad eyes made Shadow Milk laugh nervously. Suddenly he didn't want to talk about it anymore.

"Haha.. yeeahhhh. I mean, back then he had like six arms! But yeah.. not really my type. Probably my fault, really! He was always a bit cranky! I was playing with fire afterall! Hahah!"

Nobody else was laughing. Why.. why weren't they laughing?

"You know get it? Fire?" The silence stretch on. "Wow, alright, tough crowd.."

"Pure Vanilla Cookie, I assume you know what he's talking about? I don't see any signs of damage on him! I have no tolerance for such blatant lies!"

"No, I assure you, he's telling the truth, my friend, but this topic doesn't exactly seem to bring up.. happy memories for either one of you."

"Yeah.." Shadow Milk rubbed at the burnt side of his chest absentmindedly. No matter how hard he pressed, there was no feeling.

Golden Cheese looked similarly affected, stretching her wings every which way like she was trying to assure herself that they were still there.

"So, uh, if he really.. did that, how did you get them back? I know I've been gone a long time, but I don't think modern medicine has evolved so much that you can just go reattaching limbs like that"

"Ahh well, I suppose the awakening can do many wonderous things! If Pure Vanilla can sprout wings, why shouldn't I be able to regrow the ones I already had?"

He supposed that made sense. Awakening and falling were two sides of the same coin as far as Shadow Milk understood. All of the beasts appearances changed after the fall. Even him. He pulled a lock of his hair over his shoulder and scowled. The eyes blinking away inside followed him everywhere he went. He wished that someday they would finally leave him alone.

"Right.." He was tired.

"Well, I should see myself to my room! Flying here from the Golden City is much more tiring than I imagined! And I can't imagine you should keep White Lily Cookie waiting much longer either."

Shadow Milk had been trying to forget about her all day. Just hearing her name was enough to have him flaring his nostrils in irritation.

"Uhg! You can't be serious! Nilla, do I really have to see her?"

"I'm afraid so, bluebird."

"Arg! No no no! I don't want to!"

"Are you saying you'd prefer for me to be alone with her?" Pure Vanilla perked up one eyebrow to question Shadow Milk.

"Absolutely not! You! Ohhh I hate you! Fine! Have it your way! But I'm not letting go of you even for a second! I want her to know that she absolutely cannot have what's mine!"

Shadow Milk had already wrapped himself back up in Pure Vanilla's cloak and had his arm snuggly intertwined with the other's.

"My! What a greedy fellow!" Shadow Milk had almost forgotten about their audience. He though she said she was going to bed. He assumed she was insulting him, but her laughter said otherwise, "It looks like I'll need to share one of my precious treasures, won't I?"

Shadow Milk didn't understand anything about Golden Cheese or how what anything she said was funny, but Pure Vanilla was laughing anyway. Whatever. As long as Pure Vanilla was happy, he could put up with her clearly inferior sense of humor.

–––

He could absolutely NOT put up with being in this disgusting greenhouse. He pressed his nose into Pure Vanilla's sleeve to mask the smell, but it wasn't nearly as effective as he had hoped.

There were at least three mistakes he could spot in the summoning circle that Pure Vanilla had drawn up, but he didn't bother to correct them. He wished there were more. If he could cause even the slightest bit of breeze, he could change the spell just enough for it to completely crumble crumble her on transit. He couldn't fathom why in Witches name he didn't. It's not like Pure Vanilla could blame him for every tiny gale of wind. But he'd be completely inconsolable when he found out what happened.

The rune glowed a bright blue under their feet. Shadow Milk closed his eyes and pressed in close. From this angle, his Soul Jam was shielded more or less by Pure Vanilla's shoulder. He couldn't resist the urge to cast just one.. maybe two shield spells. Nobody could see the dual bubbles surrounding them, but if Pure Vanilla and White Lily truly had studied at his academy, they'd be able to sense them without even thinking about it.

There was an ethereal flash as Pure Vanilla activated the spell. The blue light rose upwards from the ground slowly materializing into a distastefully hideous cookie. She blinked into existence with a small shake, situating herself in her new surroundings. The faint smile on her lips was only visible until she realized that Pure Vanilla wasn't the only person who had come to greet her. The hush between them was nearly audible. Pure Vanilla clearing his throat was enough to startle both of them.

"White Lily Cookie, it's good to see you again. How are the fairy cookies fairing?"

"Pure Vanilla.. should we really discuss this in front of him..? I can handle taking him back to the tree if you don't think you can stomach it."

Shadow Milk's hand wandered to his neck. His claws dug into the fabric of his ruff. Even one of his muscles tensed until it looked like he was physically shaking.

"I know you think you're doing the right thing and, you've always been so compassionate but.. think about Elder Faerie Cookie. I fear you're being tricked by him again." White Lily took a step forward with an outstretched hand.

Shadow Milk bristled at the accusation, but his throat felt tight. He couldn't speak without feeling sick. Even without speaking he was trying not to retch. He bit at his tounge to keep his gag reflex under control.

"Bluebird..? Are you alright dear? You look pale.."

"The smell is just make me nauseous.." he choked out followed by a tiny gag.

He may have been lying about why he felt so sick, but the nausea was certainly real. Pure Vanilla shared a small look with White Lily as he readjusted so he was essentially holding Shadow Milk in a bridal carry. Witches above, was he really feeling so weak that he needed to be carried? He had talked to a lot of people today, and they did save the worst for last but this just felt pathetic.

"Let's take a seat inside" Pure Vanilla's fingers stroked through Shadow Milk's hair as they walked.

White Lily followed far behind, a terrified wobble in her legs.

–––

The couches in Pure Vanilla's home were as soft and comfortable as they had always been, especially when Shadow Milk could lay his head in Pure Vanilla's lap. The hand rubbing gentle circles on his abdomen was definitely helping too. He might have started purring if White Lily wasn't sitting right across from them.

"Pure Vanilla, I just can't help feeling that you're making a mistake. He's clearly using you so he can reclaim the Soul Jam!"

Shadow Milk sighed and pressed his palms into his eyes to calm his headache.

"I already told you. I've had plenty of opportunities to take it. If I really wanted it, I would've take it by now. Are we done yet? I want to go bed."

"You are so cruel Shadow Milk Cookie. How dare you take advantage of Pure Vanilla's kindness!"

"I haven't taken advantage of shit! You should see him after a long day! I'm the one getting used!"

"Shadow Milk! These are not details she needs to hear!" Pure Vanilla swatted at Shadow Milk's arm before disgruntledly returning his hand to the jester's stomach.

"You can't be serious. Pure Vanilla you can't really be sharing a bed with that.. that murderer!"

Pure Vanilla took a deep breath before opening his mouth.

"I know that you are still hurting, my friend. Shadow Milk has done many irreversible things, but.. he's capable of sweetness. And he's deserving of love like anyone else. All of the beasts are. They have led a very lonely existence, even when they were surrounded by other cookies. I think we underestimate the burden that was placed on them before they fell. I understand that doesn't justify what he has done, but what further atonement can he give you? Watching him suffer will not bring back Elder Faerie Cookie."

Clearly White Lily was unconvinced, but she nodded her head and excused herself. Shadow Milk took the opportunity to let out a sigh of relief and let himself relax.

"You've had a very long day, Bluebird, but thankyou for trying. I don't doubt that tomorrow will be equally challenging, if not more so, but I will be with you the entire time. You do not have to do this alone."

Pure Vanilla cupped Shadow Milk's face in his hand and place a chaste and reassuring kiss on his forehead.

"Yeah.." he leaned into the warm hands on his cheeks as he thought about what to do next, "you should get the kitchen staff to deliver dinner to everyone in their rooms, and then I'm going to bed. I'll conjure beds for Candy and Sapphire. There's enough space in your room for at least five!" He scoffed with a small smile.

"Actually there is one more thing I need to discuss with you."

"Uhg! What is it now? I'm tired!"

"How should I introduce you tomorrow?"

"Uh.. I thought we did that today? I've got a name, and I personally don't mind you wearing it out all you want~"

Pure Vanilla's chuckle was exactly what he needed to hear.

"That's not what I meant, but I'll be sure to remember that. What I mean is that many of the others are sure to have doubts about what we are to each other. You aren't exactly subtle."

"Oh this is the 'what are we' question isn't it? You've been reading too much. You're just my other half. We're bound to be infatuated with each other. The Soul Jams want to be reunited, so as long as we're under their influence, it's only natural that we crave each other's presence."

"Is that what you truly believe? You haven't thought at all about alternatives? We are not slaves to our Soul Jams, Shadow Milk. If you think your Soul Jam wants something.. I'm willing to bet you want it too."

Shadow Milk was exhausted and this wasn't what he wanted to he talking about. He could get up and leave any time he wanted. He didn't. He stretched his arms in front of him and stared at the sharp nails at the end of each skinny finger.

"I don't know, Nilla. I wasn't made to feel emotions. I was never supposed to want things. I'm not even really a cookie, you know that? We beasts.. we're more like broken toys to the Witches. We weren't even given proper names. For hundreds of years I was just the Fount of Knowledge. I'm not capable of.. loving you."

The word felt wrong coming from his mouth. Normally he wouldn't say any of the things he was saying now, but he wanted to get this conversation over with.

"You.. don't love Candy Apple and Black Sapphire?"

"What? What are you getting at? That's.. that's different!"

"How?"

Shadow Milk opened his mouth for a rebuttal, but he had nothing. When did he even start truly caring for those two? He was sure he would have denied the word 'love' as an accurate descriptor just a few years ago, but.. the warm feelings he got when he remembered the very first time he held them in his arms couldn't be called anything else.

"What do you think of simply.. partner for now? I think it gets the point across rather well." Pure Vanilla suggested.

Shadow Milk thought it over for a moment, mouthing the word. It did sound better than any of the other alternatives he had considered.

Sleep was a welcome release from the woes of the day, but it still didn't come naturally. Shadow Milk tossed and turned all night waking frequently from nightmares. Every thirty minutes or so, he would pad across the room just to check that Candy Apple and Sapphire were still soundly tucked in their own temporary beds. If this meeting went well, then they could return to their own rooms. He could even show them off as just about the only thing he had ever been proud of. But right now, their relationship to Shadow Milk was a liability. Pure Vanilla's sleep-talking told him that he wasn't having very good dreams either.

In fact, it was possible that neither of them would've gotten any sleep at all if Candy Apple hadn't crawled herself into bed between them. Shadow Milk curled himself around her small body protectively and Pure Vanilla mirrored the gesture, wrapping her in a tight cacoon of safety. He didn't remember when it happened but by the time they woke up, even Black Sapphire had found himself a space at the foot of the bed.

That morning felt even more somber than the one before. Everyone moved at a snail's pace, and the kids didn't even bother changing out of their pajamas. It just wasn't worth it. Shadow Milk obviously couldn't get away with doing the same, but the clothing he wore was significantly more comfortable than his usual attire. In fact, the black robe was extremely similar to what the Fount of Knowledge used to wear. It felt fitting to walk to his execution in the same clothes he was born in.

He felt numb even when Pure Vanilla's hand snaked into his own, leading them slowly down the long, winding corridors. He felt like a dead man walking.

They stopped just in front of the large doors to the Solarium of Unity.

"Shadow Milk, look at me. Take a breath dear"

It wasn't until then that Shadow Milk even realized he had been holding his breath. Pure Vanilla took both of his hands in his own, squeezing gently. His mis-matched eyes were wide open.

"I'm here with you. You're not alone. I'll be with you every step of the way, no matter what they decide. And.. I'm fairly confident you already have a majority vote, my love."

Pure Vanilla offered a small, reassuring smile. It was filled with warmth down to the very core.

"What? Pretty sure you and Hollyberry are the only two who are even willing to give me a chance."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that" There was a knowing smirk playing on Pure Vanilla's lips, "you don't know my friends nearly as well as I do, and I know Golden Cheese left your interaction quite pleased. Not only that, but I think Dark Cacao is warming up to the idea of your stay as well."

Shadow Milk clearly wasn't convinced but he nodded anyways.

"You are wonderful, Bluebird." Pure Vanilla affirmed with a peck on the cheek.

"You're handsome, and loving, and a wonderful father. You're surprisingly kind, you're intelligent, and utterly brilliant."

Each kind word was accompanied with a kiss until Shadow Milk was shaking with laughter and was trying to bat Pure Vanilla away.

"Okay okay, I get it! You can stop now!" Shadow Milk poked at the healer's sides drawing an equally relaxed laugh from the other.

They clutched onto each other in their joy even when the situation was dire. They laughed so loud they must have drawn the attention of the ancients inside because they didn't stop laughing until Hollyberry opened the door.

"There you two are! You're looking awfully jolly! Am I interrupting something?" There was a twinkle of mischief in her eyes, leaving the door wide open for the two of them to enter.

"No no of course not. Shadow Milk was only in need of a little pep talk."

"You have a funny definition of 'talk' Nilly!"

Shadow Milk was certainly in a better mood now, and the three of them entered the room in high spirits. Everyone was staring, but what was a show without an audience? As Hollyberry took her seat, Pure Vanilla stood behind his own and Shadow Milk followed suit. They stood side by side, hands still firmly clasped together. Pure Vanilla waited for the others' to quite down before he began his spiel.

"My dear friends! It truly has been such a long time since we were all gathered together in the same place! I only wish it were under slightly more light-hearted pretenses. Even so, I pray that this meeting goes well for all of us so that we may enjoy the rest of our time together at ease. With that, I'm sure you're all aware why I have called you all here. While I have spent the most time with him, I do value your opinions as well, so I'd like to introduce you all to my dear partner Shadow Milk Cookie."

Hearing Pure Vanilla call him that out loud for the first time filled him with a sense of pride, but possibly even more so, anxiety.

"Aw shucks! Are we really sure we're solid on that term Nilly?" Shadow Milk had begun to float a little higher than before, wiping his sweaty palms on his robe and allowing Pure Vanilla a chance to sit down.

"Courting is a little overrated don't you think? Dating at our age? Why don't we just get on with the wedding already, am I right?"

He looked around the room for some kind of approval, but all he got was a snort from Hollyberry and a couple of raised eyebrows. Alright. Not a great start, but not terrible. He could work with this.

"I'm kidding!~ about the marriage, I mean. We are- I mean- you know.." Shadow Milk interlocked his fingers to get the message across. "Whatever, that doesn't matter!" With a snap of his fingers a circle of note cards appeared floating around him almost like a shield.

"When did you even what time to write those..?" Pure Vanilla asked.

Shadow Milk waved him away with a tiny sigh as he spun the cards until he found the one he was looking for, "there's always time for note cards."

"Hah! Well that doesn't remind me of anyone!" Golden Cheese gave Pure Vanilla a pointed look that had both of their wings fluttering from contentment.

"Alright, here we are! I, of course, am the glorious and magnanimous Shadow Milk Cookie! Hold for applause ~"

Pure Vanilla was the only one kind enough to humor him clapping his hands quietly for a few seconds.

"Once upon a time I was hailed as the all-mighty Fount of Knowledge! The Truthsayer! The holder of the complete Soul Jam of Knowledge! Until of course.. my friends and I all had some teeny tiny.. issues." Shadow Milk pinched his fingers together with an awkward and almost apologetic smile, "We were, how should I say, a little bit disillusioned with our place in the world. But! Might I remind you that we all served our time together in the Silver Tree! Truly, I've already learned my lesson!" Shadow Milk batted his eyelashes. "Nilly simply.. pushed me in the right direction! So really! I'm no threat! I am only *sniff* misunderstood!"

With that, he took his seat, looking like he was on top of the world after his completely downplayed retelling of events.

"This is absolutely ridiculous!" White Lily slammed her staff, her face red with anger, "you can't seriously believe him! He's the beast of deceit. Clearly he's playing dirty! Who knows what kind of spells he's been casting on Pure Vanilla Cookie?!"

"Excuse me? If he were under any magical influences you of all people should be able to tell!" Shadow Milk challenged.

White Lily ground her teeth together and her grip tightened on her staff, but she didn't respond.

"Well, White Lily Cookie? You are the most well-versed in magic. Is Pure Vanilla Cookie truly under a curse of some kind?" Dark Cacao questioned.

There was a beat of silence before, "No. He isn't."

A relieved sigh was shared by everyone at the table, even Shadow Milk and Pure Vanilla.

"Well I for one congratulate Pure Vanilla on finally finding a man!" Hollyberry raised her glass with a cheerful grin.

"I concur! He really doesn't seem like much of a threat, and he's very greedy!" Golden Cheese nodded in agreement.

"Hmm.. still, shouldn't we take the Soul Jam into custody? He won't need it anymore as long as he honestly doesn't have any untoward plans." Dark Cacao chimed in.

Shadow Milk's hands immediately shot up to cover his Soul Jam and he fled his seat to press his body against the upper corner of the room.

"Look at him! He's obviously guilty!" White Lily added, standing and pointing her staff directly at Shadow Milk's Soul Jam.

Black sludge-like bars split the corner Shadow Milk had claimed from the rest of the room. He had to blink rapidly to keep himself from falling into an all too familiar memory that started the same way. It was difficult to train his eyes on White Lily and keep her face from blending between the disapproving stares of the Witches or the hatred of Elder Faerie.

"Stay back! You can't have it!" Shadow Milk bared his teeth, white knuckling the brooch until his claws dug into his own skin.

"Not again.. Never again!" In his panic, he lost control of his own ability to float and fell down to the hard linoleum floor, hitting his nose on the way down.

The smell and taste of blood turned the scene on front of him on it's head. He was face to face with Elder Faerie again begging for forgiveness, pleading for freedom for himself and his friends. He was shackled. He couldn't breathe, reliving the white-hot pain of having his soul ripped in two. The screaming was blood-curdling and the screeching of his claws against the floor and wall made his teeth hurt.

"Bl... ir.... uebird... Bluebird!"

Shadow Milk scanned around trying to find the source of the voice. Before he knew what he was doing he was crawling toward it like an injured animal. He might as well have been one. He couldn't see his own hands. They could have been paws for all he knew.

"Feel your neck"

Slowly but surely his paws- no hands- were guided up to the bare skin of his neck. When did he take off his cloak..?

"There are no shackles."

The voice supported what Shadow Milk was feeling. The skin had a strange texture, but he could feel it air on it as he was rocked slowly back and forth.

"The Soul Jams are right here."

Each of his hands was placed on the cool gem stones. The comforting warmth of the larger one was enough to have him blinking his eyes back open. He half-gasped for air in Pure Vanilla's lap. Pure Vanilla? That's right. They were.. in the Solarium of Unity. They weren't even in Beast-Yeast.

"Are you back with us?" Pure Vanilla's voice was a soothing balm on Shadiw Milk's frazzled nerves.

He nodded with a groan and rubbed at his wet eyes. Was he crying..?

"Where's my..? 'M ugly. Let me cover up.."

The black overcloak was pressed into his hands by Hollyberry Cookie. All of the ancients save for White Lily had stayed in the room, though they shirked their weapons. He would never say it out loud, but he appreciated it. As soon as he had gotten the clock back on, pulling the high collar back up to cover his throat, he had his arms wrapped back around Pure Vanilla.

"The kids.." his voice was hoarse and his throat was sore, "They're.. they probably heard that.. we should.. go get them.."

"Shh.. let me handle it. You should rest. Your body isn't built to handle large transformations like that"

"Huh..? Nooo I went full beast?" He hid his face in Pure Vanilla's shoulder.

"I'm afraid so.."

"It was very impressive though, if that helps!" Golden Cheese did her best to be helpful. "Although.. if you don't mind me asking.. what are those scars..?"

"That's what happens when you disobey orders from the Witches." Shadow Milk was too tired to explain in any more depth than that.

"I apologize for my earlier suggestion, Shadow Milk Cookie. I was not aware that the Soul Jam was tied to your life force" Dark Cacao's voice seemed quieter than before.

Shadow Milk could only bring himself to grunt in response. The fatigue was already settling into his bones.

"Let's get you to bed!" Hollyberry leaned down and offered an arm to Shadow Milk.

Her and Pure Vanilla braced either side of him, keeping his wobbly legs from stumbling.

"You.. mentioned you have children?"

Hollyberry made a small attempt at small talk. It was a bit too long of a walk to spend in silence. Shadow Milk nodded weakly.

"Candy Apple and Black Sapphire. I took them in when they were younger. They're siblings." He yawned.

"Where were they yesterday?"

"I was tryin' keep them safe. They were jut in Nilly's room. I left a portal for them to get to the village down below in case things went South."

Hollyberry nodded in understanding.

"I understand your fears. I too am a mother and a grandmother above all else. As long as I'm here, those youngsters will be under my protection, got it?"

Even laughing hurt now, but he didn't mind that much. He felt warm. It wasn't the same kind of warmth that Pure Vanilla provided, but it was still.. happy. He wondered if this was what it was like to have friends. It left him smiling even as he was gently layed down on the bed.

–––

The next time he opened his eyes, he was being jostled awake by two familiar pairs of hands. Everywhere they made contact caused shoots of pain.

"Wakey wakey!"

"This is revenge for freaking us out yesterday!"

Shadow Milk kicked the covers away and practically howled at the two of them.

"I'm up, I'm up! That hurts you know!

He would normally rub away any of his sore spots when he woke up, but this morning, everything was sore. He could hardly raise a single finger. Black Sapphire had his hands on his hips and Candy Apple had hers crossed over her chest.

"Get out of bed. I swear to Witches, I cannot be expected to listen to any more of Pure Vanilla chatting away with those 'heros.' They will NOT shut up about some stupid dance they went to one time"

"It's soooooooo boringgggg!!!"

Candy Apple gave Shadow Milk one final shove that had him catapulting out of bed.

"If you want me to make it more interesting for you, you should really be treating me a litter nicer, don't you think?"

"No. We thought you were dead eight hours ago. You owe us" Black Sapphire glared at him.

"Fine fine! I'll be down in ten. Just let me fix myself.."

Shadow Milk floated over to the vanity mirror as the kids cautiously and suspiciously closed the door behind them. No doubt they would be timing him. The dark circles under his eyes needed concealer to look even somewhat presentable and his hair stuck out in so many different places that he doubted he could actually tame all of it. Anything he could think to wear made him feel sore just thinking about it. Elastics and spandex were a no-go, and cotton was too heavy. He ended up slinking out of the room in a silk bathrobe, his Soul Jam making one side fall open from thevweight of it. He didn't even bother to cover up his neck or chest. It didn't matter anyway. Everyone had already seen just how dilapidated he had become.

Floating was just as challenging as walking would have been. Why did the bedroom have to be so fucking far away from everything else in this Witches forsaken castle? He stumbled along, trailing his fingers along the walls to act as a support.

The dining room went silent when he finally staggered in, making a b-line for Pure Vanilla's lap. He slumped himself down, relying on Pure Vanilla to hold him upright enough to even make eyes contact the other cookies gawking at him.

Surpringly enough, White Lily was still here, though she was more or less silently pushing the food around her plate. Black Sapphire and Candy Apple seemed to have taken as much of a liking to Hollyberry as Shadow Milk himself had.

"Sapphyyy~ bring me coffee will ya?"

"What? Why do I have to do it? Make Candy do it!"

"Candy can't reach the counter."

Shadow Milk could practically hear Black Sapphire's eye twitching. He did ask to be entertained, didn't he?

"Candy Apple can FLY!"

"Well one of you needs to get a cup of coffee into my hands before I keel over! If you're bored enough to drag me out of my much deserved beauty sleep then you can deal with the consequences!"

Sapphire's cheeks puffed up with air, but somehow a mug found it's way into Shadow Milk's hands. He pounded the black liquid back in a single gulp like it was liquor.

"Hah~ much better! So! What's the verdict, huh, Nilly? You gonna lock me up again? Banish me back to Beast-Yeast? Burry me alive? Reunite the Soul Jams so you can keep me on a pretty golden leash? What's it gonna be?"

His cheerful voice was in direct contrast to the many horrible atrocities he described. As long as he was making everyone uncomfortable it was a win in his book. Besides, it made Candy giggle and that was all that really mattered.

"No, no, of course not. This is your home and it will remain that way for as long as you wish. However... we did discuss that perhaps therapy might be a good option considering.."

Shadow Milk slapped his hand over Pure Vanilla's mouth and gave an offended gasp. He pointed an accusatory finger at the bat siblings and brought his hand over his chest like he was in extreme dismay.

"You! You brought me to an intervention!"

He shot to his feet, or rather, he attempted to. In reality he got up and immediately regretted it, clutching at his back and wincing.

"Ow ow ow!"

The following laughter was significantly less satisfying considering it was all directed at him. He grumbled as he fell back onto Pure Vanilla, wrapping his arms around his neck with a growl.

"You're friends are mean to me."

"Well it's hardly our fault if you're an old man!" Golden Cheese gave him a glinting smile.

"Shadow Milk Cookie." White Lily's voice cut through the happy atmosphere like a knife.

It made him flinch.

"Yesterday you were screaming his name. What was your connection to Elder Faerie Cookie? Why were you acting like you were afraid of him? You.. how dare you suggest that he would.." Her jaw clenched and her eyes looked bloodshot.

She was searching for answers. Her gaze shot through Shadow Milk very core. He felt chilled.

"H-hey come on now! We were having a good time! Lighten up! Do we really have to do this.. right now..?" Shadow Milk's hands subconsciously pulled Black Sapphire and Candy Apple to either side of him.

"Answer me!" She screamed, banging her fist against the table. "What game are you playing here? Why were you begging for your life when he should've been the one begging for his?!"

Shadow Milk's hands shook as he ushered the kids out of the kitchen. This was not a conversation they needed to hear. They already knew far too much about the tragedies he had brought about. He wanted to set a better example for them. And he didn't want them to know how weak he had once been.

"You don't know as much as you think you do." He said calmly, stilling his breath as he took his own actual seat.

This felt like too serious of a story to tell snuggled up all cozy on the lap of a saint.

"Elder Faerie Cookie has been around for as long as the Silver Tree has. He was created just like we beasts when Burning Spice was the first to fall."

He used a whisp of magic to weave the story into a lifelike movie that danced along the table.

"We knew why Spice needed to be locked away, but.. we didn't realize how long it would take. By the time 100 years had passed, Salt was beginning to get angry. We all begged Elder Faerie to let Spice go. But the Witches didn't react well when Salt refused to speak again in retaliation. They had disobeyed a direct order. So they too were chained away. Having lost two of her friends, Sugar could no longer bring herself to provide happiness to her subjects, and Flour decided that nothing really mattered if all we were was tools built to be discarded once we outlasted our usefulness. I just couldn't take it anymore. Cookies came seeking answers but only left angry and disappointed when I told them the truth about what happened to the others. So I lied. And I kept lying until I couldn't distinguish my lies from reality. The Witches caught me, took me to the tree, and Elder Faerie's was the last face I saw before I was condemned."

The illusions dissipated with a gentle wave of his hand. He had missed storytelling, but not like this.

"We trusted him. We cried on his shoulder when Spice committed the original sin, but when we needed him he abandoned us. He did his duty, but it wasn't kind. If you really think I didn't mourn him just as much as you did, then you're sorely mistaken."

White Lily stood and left in silence. Shadow Milk rubbed his hands along his face. Why must people push him the way they do?

"What do you mean you weren't meant to feel?"

After an extremely long, extremely awkward silence, Hollyberry was the first to speak.

"Yes, I find it hard to believe that any creature should be born without emotions" Golden Cheese added.

"Even the Dark Cacao warriors are subject to emotional outbursts" Dark Cacao nodded along.

"Well don't ask me! I didn't make the rules! We weren't really 'born' in the first place! We just... didn't exist, and then we did. We were all punished by our own bodies for anything other than complete contentment in our roles."

Pure Vanilla placed his hand gently over top of Shadow Milk's.

"What do you mean.. punished?"

Shadow Milk ran a hand through his hair, pulling all of it to one side. If he closed his eyes he could almost imagine that it hadn't changed at all, even if he feel the blinking of the eyes under his fingers. It brought sad smile to his face.

"My hair.. wow, it used to sparkle. Shine like the stars~ my little flocks would all gather round and they would spend hours just marveling at it~"

He opened his eyes hoping that it would have magically returned to its original form but was only met with disappointment.

"Haha! Yeah, but then I scared 'em pretty bad when it all went sour! It was funny, really."

The laughter he barked out didn't sound genuine. It wasn't genuine. He could remember it like it was yesterday; the children had all run away from him in terror, and he was left alone clutching at the newly-blackened strands.

"But yknow! Now I have eyes in the back my head to watch when Nilly sneaks Candy Apple an extra plate of dessert" He winked.

Pure Vanilla laughed nervously at the accusation, "in my defense, she told me it was her bakeday."

Shadow Milk raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

"Ah, my sweet little liar! I'm so proud" He pretended to wipe a tear from the corner of his eye and leaned back in the chair.

"When are their actual bakedays? I want to be certain to get them gifts they'll like."

"Don't tell them this, but.. I actually have no idea. Candy got it in her head somehow that she was 'born from the first lie' so I tried to figure out when that was and we've been celebrating on June eighteenth since then. As for Sapphire, well that was their adoption day, August seventeenth."

"What about you Shadow Milk? I'll send you a great berry juice when it comes around!" Hollyberry's smile was nearly infectious.

"Duh! Didn't I already tell you? My bakeday is! Drumroll please" He batted his hands playfully against the table and summoned a smaller pair of actual snare drums to join in alongside him. "Never! If I had to say, I'm really not sure if there was a proper calender until a few years after we came out of the oven, but we also came out fully grown so it's not like it really mattered. Even if there was a date for it, I certainly wouldn't celebrate something like that! It sucked! Do you know what it's like to know literally everything before everything even exists? Bleck!"

He feigned a gag at the thought.

"Huh! I would've thought someone like you would take any opportunity to be showered in treasures!" Golden Cheese bellowed, flapping her wings outward as though they themselves could rain gold down upon him.

"Eh, I can pretty much make whatever I want" He shrugged. "But! I do like being showered in praise and adoration!"

He was sick of sitting in his own seat. The serious talk was primarily over, so it felt natural to be somewhere more comfortable, such as floating lazily behind Pure Vanilla, wrapping his arms around his neck and breathing in the sweet scent that lingered in his hair.

"Oh? Do I not compliment you enough already?" Pure Vanilla teased.

"You only do it because you pity me! You should've seen me back then!"

Then the thought occurred to him. He pushed himself backwards and brought his hand to his chin, trying to remember where he had put it.

"Actually.. Give me two minutes! And hold onto your Soul Jam, this might sting a little. It's been a while since I went back to the Spire, but I'm not sure what box I put it in.."

The latter half of his sentence trailed off into mumbles as he flitter through a portal into his old room in the Spire. Wow, it really had been a while. A layer of dust seemed to cover every surface it could get its hands on. Furthermore, he was absolutely right. It did sting being this far away. Sometimes he forgot just how far the distance was between the two kingdoms. How ironic was it that the halves of each Soul Jam had been separated like this for so long? In any case, he was on a mission, no matter how tightly the Soul Jam tried to tug him home. Home. Huh. He supposed Pure Vanilla had said that the castle was his home now too, didn't he?

Books and boxes flew across the room kicking up dust that made him wheeze with each breath. His muscles were still sore and the ache of the brooch hanging off his robe made it difficult to focus, but the pink scrapbook was impossible to miss given that it sat on the opposite side of the color wheel to anything else Shadow Milk possessed. Once it was in his grasp, he didn't leave himself time for goodbyes to the now dilapidated Spire. Instead, he found himself pulled backwards surprisingly violently through his portal, hurtling back into the kitchen like a wingless bird. The wind was completely knocked out of him when he plummeted face-up into Pure Vanilla's lap.

"Found.. it.." he held the scrap book up weakly with water welling in his eyes, the rest of his body laying limply across Vanilla's thighs.

"Oh dear!"

–––

"What on Earthbread was that? Pure Vanilla isn't nearly sturdy enough to handle that!" Dark Cacao rasped.

Shadow Milk's head spun and his back felt like it needed more than a few ice packs.

"Oh, I was just TRYING to break his legs with my spine! OBVIOUSLY I DIDN'T MEAN TO!"

He cringed just trying to sit himself upright, but at least he had the scrapbook. It was probably the only truly valuable thing that had remained in the Spire.

"The Soul Jams don't seem to enjoy being too far apart. I'm not nearly as affected as Shadow Milk is though, so my best guess is that our time together may have intensified the pull on his end" Pure Vanilla explained calmly while he straighted his partner, cooling his back with a soothing frost spell.

"Well, whatever you have must be pretty important if you went all that way to get it!"

Hollyberry was practically champing at the bit to see whatever trinket Shadow Milk had returned with. She had already more or less snatched the book away to flip through the pages.

"It's a scrap book from Sugar. She made one for all of us. We had a lot more time in the early days. There were a lot fewer cookies who actually needed our help."

Shadow Milk sighed a breath of relief from the cold of Pure Vanilla's hands working their magic on his lower back.

"This was you?" Golden Cheese pointed at a group picture in disbelief.

"Woof! I really haven't seen these in a while! But the proof is in the pudding! The hair! The bod! The perfect, absolutely flawless dough!"

He tugged a little at his robe, suddenly feeling self-conscious. He regretted being in such a mood that morning. If he had more than a couple minutes to think, he wouldn't have actually worn this. He pulled Pure Vanilla's hands away from his back and used them as a second barrier to the view of his front so he could subtly rearrange his appearance. It was just a few simple touch-ups; pulling the robe tighter so that his chest was was covered, brushing his hair to the front subverted attention away from his bare throat, he even added a pair of cozy socks and slippers. It's wasn't that strange. Even if it did age him significantly, he was old, and he had a reputation for running cold. He could only hope no one would notice or at least question the changes. Well, he knew one person knew judging by how Pure Vanilla's grasp tightened on him, but that was to be expected. He didn't hate it. It reminded him that he was up way earlier than usual.

"I think you're lovely either way." He pressed a gentle kiss into Shadow Milk's cheek.

"You can barely see me either way" He barely restrained himself from pulling away completely, only tilting his head in the opposite direction.

"Then I suppose it's a good thing I don't need to see you to do this!"

It was a total attack. Kisses smacked onto every inch of blue skin. It was almost audible! Shadow Milk's cheeks burned a bright blue as he clawed at Pure Vanilla's sleeves.