( * & . — MORE POPULAR TEXT POST STARTERS .
‘ forgive and forget ?? hahaha no . resent and remember . ’
‘ when i get murdered i want it to be so perfect and mysterious that i get featured on buzzfeed unsolved true crime with one theory and it’s about aliens . ’
‘ in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me he loved me then he slapped my ass and said ‘ back to business . ’ i’m going to marry him . ’
‘ do you ever just crave domesticity ? to coming home to a partner , meld into them like you do your bed after a long day , soak your mind in the serenity of theirs like a warm bath to soothe the knots on your body , wrap yourself in their warmth and just fucking sigh from pure comfort . ’
‘ * whispers seductively * i don’t care . ’
‘ if anyone wants me i’ll be in the dirt thinking about love . ’
‘ girls get made fun of for everything might as well do what you want . ’
‘ i mean i’m cute but also really fucking creepy . ’
‘ concept : someone hugs you tight and tells you they love you . you feel it . ’
‘ it’s hard when you constantly feel so fucking unwanted . ’
‘ pro tip : instead of having feelings , try being dead inside . everything is still horrible but you will not care at all . ’
‘ i just need a hug(e about of money) . ’
‘ i’m a power couple with myself . i love us . we work hard . ’
‘ my female role model ? the t-rex from jurassic park . she just screams and eats . that’s a mood baby . ’
‘ i’m at the ‘ we’ll see ’ stage in my life . with everything and everyone . we will see . ’
‘ can you believe some people can see a cat and not immediately be filled with absolute unconditional love for that animal ?? they don’t even get the urge to kiss them right on their little baby cat head . that’s in comprehensible to me . ’
‘ do you ever just feel super unlovable . ’
‘ hey , quick question , what the fuck is going on ? ’
‘ i’m a person who wants to do lots of things trapped inside a body that wants to SLEEP at all times . ’
‘ i’m so datable . . . and yet here i am . . . . not being asked on dates . . . . tragic . . . . ’
‘ you ever fall in love with somebody like five times ? like damn , i thought i loved you before but wtf is this next level shit . ’
‘ i learned that people leave even if they promised a thousand times they wouldn’t . ’
‘ get a man that STAYS geeked over you , not just in the beginning . ’
‘ i’m following my heart but it doesn’t seem like she knows the directions either . ’
‘ mace . bug spray . . . but for men . ’
‘ my favorite winter activity is staying inside in my pajamas and being antisocial . ’
‘ tbh i can’t imagine changing my vocabulary when i get older and it’s so surreal like i’ll meet my buddies at the shuffleboard place and i’ll be like ‘ sup you fucking nerds you’re gonna get wrecked . ’ ’
‘ adulthood is just understanding why shrek just wanted to be left alone . ’
‘ hmm . . . anyone else feel halloween coming ? because she’s on her way . ’
‘ concept : looking at the stars while your significant other is kissing your neck . ’
‘ i hate it when people ask ‘ what’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done ? ’ like awfully bold of you to assume i’ve reached peak dumbass . ’
‘ for the last time , we are not sending you to space just so you can , and i quote , ‘ chase that sweet , sweet alien ass . ’ ’
‘ i have this weird self - esteem issue where i hate myself but i still think that i’m better than everyone else . ’
‘ i’m literally impossible to kill ( professionally diagnosed ) . ’
‘ how is ‘ pretty boy ’ supposed to be an insult ?? i’m the prettiest goddamn boy in down . ’
‘ if you don’t listen to abba . . . get well soon i guess . ’
‘ when you have a bad childhood god makes you hot in your twenties . ’
‘ there are only five genders : scary , sporty , posh , ginger , and baby . ’
‘ ‘ are you ready to stop acting like a brat now ? ’ first of all , this is no act . ’
‘ you want a man with a strong jawline so you have a sturdy place to sit . ’
‘ i’m such a tease . i’ll tell you how bad i want to fuck you and then probably fall asleep . ’
‘ i need to be fuckin kissed . get on top of me and kiss the fuck outta me . i just need to be fuckin kissed , man . ’
‘ why talk about your feelings when you could repress them until they evolve into self - hatred . ’
‘ do you ever just realize that you’re not a good person . ’
‘ am i straight ? oh fuck no , god forbid . ’
‘ i need some physical affection and three bottles of vodka . ’
‘ if you call me baby in that soft voice i’ll do whatever you want me to do . ’
‘ from the bottom of my heart , please know , that i’d appreciate being slammed against a wall with your hand down my pants and your breath against my neck saying that i’m yours and only yours . ’
‘ what turns me on ? attention . ’
‘ like you can boss me around in sexual situations but you better not try to tell me what to do in regular life . ’
‘ me ? constantly afraid of being abandoned and replaced ? hell yes . ’
‘ wear your scars proudly . whatever tried to kill you failed . ’
‘ don’t forget to smile while intimidating someone . ’
‘ life’s too short to pretend you’re not into some kinky shit . ’
‘ am i a good person ? no . but do i try to be better every single day ? also no . ’
‘ yes i hate men . yes i am attracted to men . we exist . ’
‘ yes you’re allowed to have other friends , you just have to love me more . ’
‘ i ain’t no weak bitch but i didn’t deserve to go through half of the things i’ve experienced . ’
‘ food will never break my heart . ’
‘ i love making people who already hate me hate me more . ’
‘ squad is over . we’re cults now . ’
‘ caterpillars have more muscles than humans but i’d like to see one try to fight me irl and see what happens . ’
‘ look , pal , i just wanna hold your hand and make out . ’
‘ thank you for showing me what love should look like . ’
‘ unless you hit me in the face with a brick that says ‘ i’m flirting with you ’ i’m most likely just gonna think you’re being nice . ’
‘ sorry i didn’t reply , i was having twenty - seven panic attacks about my future . ’
