Think now.

If he works at foot locker😂😂😂😂

Today I’m wearing a lovely shade of I slept like shit so don’t piss me off

date a girl who sees the entire ocean in your eyes

Even when you cant see it in yourself

69-ing

i love girls who are "high maintenance" like yes please continue to have standards for how you treat urself and expect to be treated

relationship status: i am mean

Gonna eat the booty like groceries

what is my perfect crime? i break into tiffany’s at midnight. do i go for the vault? no, i go for the chandelier. it’s priceless. as i’m taking it down, a woman catches me. she tells me to stop. it’s her father’s business. she’s tiffany. i say no. we make love all night. in the morning, the cops come and i escape in one of their uniforms. i tell her to meet me in mexico, but i go to canada. i don’t trust her. besides, i like the cold. thirty years later, i get a postcard. i have a son and he’s the chief of police. this is where the story gets interesting. i tell tiffany to meet me in paris by the trocadero. she’s been waiting for me all these years. she’s never taken another lover. i don’t care. i don’t show up. i go to berlin. that’s where i stashed the chandelier.

Holy shit that was wonderful