What Is Professional Responsibility?

May 31, 2020

This is my last post for this blog because this is my last week in the teaching program. It’s been 21 months of beautiful chaos where I met amazing people and have created lifelong friendships. While many of my classmates have expressed their sadness of graduating I haven’t felt sadness. I feel excited. It could be denial, but I’m ready for all of us to take the next step into our lives. We have worked hard to reach this final moment, but it does suck that we don’t get to be together in person for our hooding and graduation ceremony.

Anyways!

Let’s move on shall we?

I’m supposed to reflect on which posts mean the most to me and it’s hard to pick, since I accidentally did too many entries due to misinterpreting the assignment. However, I would say the post that mean the most to me right now is Entry 53 where I share my thoughts and feelings about police brutality against the Black and People of Color communities. These past few days have reminded me of the articles and books we read in the program about racism and hate crimes within society and how teachers have the power to help eradicate racism. Teachers have the power to teach empathy. Teachers have the power to humanize and address the issues that are happening within society.

I keep thinking back when I read: The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas, Warriors Don’t Cry by Melba Pattillo Beals, A Talk to Teachers by James Baldwin, So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo, and so many other authors who challenged me to examine the legacies that have come before me and how these legacies have influenced the imbalance of power that exists today.

I think about Northwest Tap Connection and their performance of Hell You Talmbout: https://vimeo.com/189088693 

I think about how art is used as social commentary and can be used to teach lessons to people. Art can be used to challenge people to examine their perspectives and how their perspectives were developed/influenced by their upbringing. I showed this video to my students in my student teaching in the fall and my students were able to educate each other about the names who were brought up in the video, and they taught me information about the victims I didn’t know. In return, I shared information about the victims they weren’t familiar with. What I have come to realize is that the some of names I was familiar with were those who died while I was growing up and the names my students knew were names of those who died while they were growing up. Names outside of our generations were names I learned about from my college classes --- I didn’t learn about them in the public education system. My students were able to learn about some of the victims from their teachers, their classmates, their families, and the media. It was radio silent for the most part when I was young --- before cell phone recordings and social media.

May 31, 2020

What I learned about teaching online:

It’s never-ending, even when you step away from your computer your mind is always racing about different topics like wondering if you’re doing enough, if your students are safe, and what you can do to better their education.

It’s hard to separate yourself from the work you’re doing. I had to create office hours because I found myself spending close to 8 hours on the computer on a daily basis not only working on online content for students, but on my assignment for my teaching program as well. I needed to limit my on-screen time because I started feeling my body paying the price with poor posture and strained eyes.

Find the joy in things. My students needed something to look forward to, even if it was just a once a week 30 minute Zoom meeting. Playing games and just providing a space for students to expel energy allowed students to be happy (even if it was for a little bit)

Online learning isn’t for everyone

I could not teach for online school because everything feels disconnected and doesn’t feel human

Give yourself grace and be kind to yourself if a lesson doesn’t go well

Further develop and maintain relationships with students, families, and co-workers.

Student engagement:

Teachers have to reel them in like we’re salesmen because we want them to show up. Do they have to do the work? No, but we want to see them still be present in what’s happening and be here in the moment. We don’t want the students to become recluse and cut themselves off from others. Negative emotions and stressful situations can push people away and we don’t want students to be pushed away.

Make the work relevant to their lives and have them connect the content to what they’ve learned or what they’re going to learn.

Students respond to humor and fun, since humor and games can be used as coping mechanisms to stressful situations.

Reach out students and let them know they still matter, even if learning is online.

Encourage students to attend online learning because they can still learn and benefit their future academics.

Ideas from this experience -- Things I want to try and things I want to investigate:

How I can develop lessons to benefit students when class only meets once a week

Research additional online teaching resources related to things such as EdPuzzle, Nearpod, Flipgrid, etc.

Getting involved in theatre and English teacher communities to learn how they’re implementing online learning, classroom management, etc.

May 29, 2020

George Floyd's death was another example of police brutality and how citizens from Black communities are victims. Victims to hate. Victims to oppression. Victims to discrimination. Victims of targeting.

I have heard of two people from the Black community killed by the police during COVID-19 and I found myself shocked that police brutality could continue during a pandemic. I found myself angry that I felt myself be shocked by police brutality during a pandemic. It’s not that I’m ignorant it’s just that my mind has been so focused on online learning, trying to engage my students in my lessons, looking for jobs, and attending interviews that I haven’t stepped away from my school experiences to learn about what else is happening during COVID-19 and online learning.

I have listened to NPR stories of people from the Black community having to protect themselves from hate crimes, discrimination, and police brutality when they participate in social distancing. People have to record on their phones what is happening in attempt to protect themselves from being harmed and killed. People have to go out in groups to feel safe and to lessen their chances of being singled out by White people.

Are emotions high? Yes. Are people on edge? Yes. People are valid to feel emotional and be scared, but that does not excuse their behavior. This doesn’t validate taking someone else’s life. This doesn’t validate attacking people with rubber pullets, fists, knees, pepper spray, batons, and every other material that can be used as a weapon against someone. This doesn’t justify attacking an innocent 7 year old girl by pepper spraying her in the face and then covering up your badge number and turning off your camera to hide your crime. This doesn’t justify turning off your cameras to protect other cops who are abusing their power.

Nothing justifies taking someone’s life while they are saying “I can’t breathe” or if someone is lying asleep in their bed and they’re shot 8 times. Breonna Taylor was the victim. She was asleep when the police entered her home and killed in her sleep while her boyfriend tried defending their home. The police went to the WRONG house during their sting operation. LET ME REPEAT: THE POLICE WENT INTO THE WRONG HOUSE DURING THEIR STING OPERATION. The boyfriend woke up in a fright and was getting ready to defend himself and Breonna because that was his gut reaction. He didn’t know it was the police until they started firing because he had a weapon in his hand. A woman asleep in her bed was killed because the cops were in the wrong house. After the wrong people. And they arrested her boyfriend still. She lied there dead and her boyfriend was arrested due to police error.

Emotions are high. We as a society are angry. We’re tired of watching names flash across social media and media stations about another person falling victim to police brutality. We are angry. We are heartbroken. People have had enough and have taken to the streets to protest --- during COVID-19. People are willing to sacrifice their health to protect others from police brutality.

Are all cops corrupt? No. I have friends who are cops and who go above and beyond the duty to protect their communities. I have a friend who lost her husband at the beginning of COVID-19 because a runaway driver ran him over on the freeway when he was lying down tack strips to stop the driver and to prevent him from causing wrecks. She mourns for his death. Our community mourns his death. However, just because I know there are good cops who work hard doesn’t mean all cops are good. There are those who become cops to assert their dominance and prey upon others. 

How do we stop corrupt cops? How do we stop police brutality? How do we as educators teach students about racism within a system that is built to benefit those are White and privileged? These are questions I have been working throughout my time in my teaching program and I know these questions will follow me into whatever school I end up working in.

May 26, 2020

I have made to progress on job hunting. I finally found my third reference who is able to get access to reference forms and is able to return them to the school districts I have been applying to. So, that’s exciting!

Tomorrow is a busy day for me because I have my pre-interview with the arts school and I have an actual interview afterwards with a different school district. After those interviews are done, I have to participate in my field connections class to share what I have been learning/observing during my teaching alongside my mentor teacher.

May 24, 2020

My faculty posted a series of images from Ricardo Levins Morales on how we’re responding to COVID-19 and I have been relating to the adorable fox by staying aware.

I have been aware about the following:

Sanitizing and washing my hands when ever I’m out in public to limit the transference of the disease.

Listening/reading news articles and NPR stations about what is happening locally and globally in relation to the pandemic.

Learning about how different states are handling the crisis and how social distancing is being implemented differently by the states’ political leaders

How COVID-19 is impacting small businesses while catering to big corporations.

Learning about what makes a store essential and why small businesses that fall under the essential category aren’t allowed to be open during this time.

How people are falling victim to scams and identity theft, so making sure to keep track of my financial records to prevent from having something like this happen to me.

To not take anything face value and to dig for the truth in order to understand something.

May 22, 2020

I think I have visited this question before, but I think it was towards the beginning of the journal and I don’t have the time nor patience to revisit it at this time.

So! Here are the questions that I have:

Will schools be doing online teaching in the fall? --- At the moment I don’t have anyone to ask this question to because no one knows for sure what’s going to happen.

How did the school district decide the grading system for the online learning? --- I can ask my mentor teacher about this, since she watched the live video feed of the school board meeting. Granted, she mentioned it was about 4 hours long, but I know the policy will be explained deeply.

What is the hiring process like at the moment for school districts? --- I can ask my program’s field placement coordinator.

What’s working for students doing online learning and what isn’t working for students during online learning? --- I can ask my students what their thoughts are about online learning and what their experiences have been so far.

Will we ever get to have a hooding ceremony? --- I can ask the program faculty or the graduation committee on if something will happen later this summer.

May 20, 2020

So, I’m excited with how more jobs are being posted! I have a pre-interview with a school, which I’m a little nervous because I’ve never done a pre-interview before. 

I’m also excited that I’m graduating here soon. I’m ready to walk away from this program because there has been so much chaos and feelings of negativity from myself and others that I need to escape from this negative mind space. I love my faculty, but this quarter has been a hot mess and I’m using these moments of doom as learning opportunities to for what not to do when creating lessons for students.

May 18, 2020

What I’m currently thinking:

How does students receiving either an A or an incomplete benefit their learning?

How did the school district come to this decision on having every student with a passing grade (A - D) receive an A while those who were failing before March 17th receive an incomplete?

What external and internal forces are causing students to not participate/engage with online learning?

How does online learning impact other elective classes such as art, band, choir, etc?

Will schools be participating in online learning in the fall? If so, how will this impact elective classes? How about extracurricular activities?

If schools are doing online learning in the fall, how will this impact the hiring process?

How are teachers navigating online instruction, creating lessons, and support students’ learning and social/emotional needs?

What I’m currently working on:

Looking for theatre community members who would like to share their advice and experiences with students.

Researching how theatre programs at an art school are doing online teaching and creating opportunities for students to stay engaged with the content.

Looking for jobs and applying anywhere I possibly can with my endoresements.

May 16, 2020

Sooooo I want to scream into the void. My online learning has been a good experience and enjoy working with my students, but I hate what is happening in my teaching program.

More assignments are being dropped on us with little to no warning and one of the assignments that was dropped on us is one that is a requirement for our teaching certification. Guess what? We have about 2 more weeks and it’s due in two weeks? And guess what? Even though it doesn’t look like a very complicated assignment it is AND it is something that requires us to examine every detail of our teaching abilities.

May 14, 2020

I have been a student teacher during COVID-19 and I haven’t really thought about what I have done so far that positively impact others during this time. There are so many things I have done,

How I Have Supported My Mentor Teacher: 

Debriefing after Zoom meetings to talk about students’ engagement levels and how we can support students’ emotional and social learning.

Being a soundboard for my mentor to talk to about her feelings and her experiences with online teaching

Having deep conversations about online learning and how school policies influence how teachers are teaching.

Taking the time to talk about self-care practices and accepting the need to create boundaries with the work we do, since we’re spending so much time in front of the computer attending meetings and classes.

Brainstorming ideas of how to bring in MKOs (more knowledgeable others) from the theatre community to share their knowledge with students.

Create learning opportunities that are meaningful and fun for students.

Planning how to support students who are grieving the loss of loved ones during this time.

How I Have Supported My Students:

Providing opportunities for students share their ideas, questions, or concerns about assignments.

Providing social and emotional learning supports to help students cope with the COVID-19 pandemic/online learning.

Offering one-on-one support for students --- either academically, socially, or emotionally.

Asking clarifying questions to check my own understanding on what students need help with, along with me understanding what they’re saying.

Using concrete evidence and examples to help students make connections to the assignment and understanding the relevance of it.

May 13, 2020

What is a student? A student is...

S - Sociable, Studious, Strong, Sensible

T - Thoughtful, Talented, Trusting, Thriving

U - Understandable, Unique, Uplifting, Unlimited

D - Driven, Dreamers, Deep, Dynamic

E - Energetic, Empathetic, Engaging, Essential

N - Nice, Neat, Noble, Nurturing

May 12, 2020

I understand the stay at home order and the importance of keeping society safe. I’m glad I’m doing my part to reduce the spread of the virus. While committing to society and taking my part to do my best to overcome this illness I find myself longing for selfish needs.

A list of selfish needs:

Getting my eyebrows waxed

Getting a signature facial

Getting a manicure

Getting a pedicure

Getting a massage

Hitting the gym

Getting my body cracked like a glowstick

Going to baseball games

Eating fair/summer foods

Doing a graduation photoshoot

Having a graduation party

Getting recognized for the work I’ve done

Having schools get their act together and post jobs so I can become a full-time teacher

Hanging out with friends

Going to the beach with my love

Wanting to go to Disneyland

Wanting to go to Texas and eat all the southern food

Move out of my parents’ house

Start making money

May 11, 2020

If you asked me when a previous assignment happened, what we did in class, or about any kind of lecture/video I wouldn’t be able to provide an answer.

If you asked me what I thought about a teacher’s lesson I wouldn’t be able to give you a detailed answer --- only surface level.

If you asked me to push my thinking I would tell you I can’t. It’s not that I won’t do it. It’s not that I didn’t the assignment. It’s just that I can’t do this anymore.

I had someone ask me, “What day is it again?” I just stared blankly at them and gave them the wrong day. I had someone ask me, “What week are we in?” Even though I knew, I still answered wrong. I had someone ask me, “Where have you applied?” I can’t recall.

I can’t remember specific details and I find myself going through memory loops because everything feels repetitive. Haven’t I done this already? Wait, wasn’t this last week’s assignment? Why am I doing this again? Why am I learning about math and quadratics when I’m not going to do action research? People say I will, but I won’t. I’m not interested in it.

May 10, 2020

3. More. Weeks.

I am excited and ready to be done. I’m tired of the busy work. I’m tired of being forced to read and attend classes I don’t want to participate in. I’m tired of creating lessons that aren’t being taken seriously by a majority of the students. I’m tired of doing the work when the schools have decided to give all students As unless they came in with an F before the quarantine started.

I’m tired of being in Zoom meetings where people say the same damn thing 20+ times and people use the chat for pointless reasons. You have phones and social media --- connect with people that way. I’m tired of sidetrack conversations and I’m tired of my time being wasted in pointless meetings. I’m tired of staring at myself on camera and having negative thoughts about my appearance. I’m tired of being told to turn my camera on when I want to have it off. Why should I have my camera on when other people don’t have to?

3. More. Weeks.

I’m ready to get my certification. I’m ready to receive my diploma. I’m ready to wear my graduation gear and go due a fun photo shoot in the sunshine. I’m ready to look at myself in the mirror in my whole ensemble and celebrate this achievement.

May 9, 2020

I dare you to move

To bend your body back and forth

To and fro

Swaying like a gentle breeze is caressing you

Or, if you prefer

Like a hurricane is ripping through entire body

Cause you to shake, shiver, and grovel.

Move like a stream

Ever bubbling and rippling with life.

Move like you like drinking pina coladas

And getting caught in the rain

With someone you love.

Move like your life depended on it

Or if you want to feel your heart feel likes it going to burst out of chest

As if every minute is your last.

I dare you to move

I dare you to breath

I dare you to check-in with yourself

Emotionally

Mentally

Physically

Socially

I dare you to move

And take action in some way

So you’re not stuck in this feeling of doom

Rise up

Get out

Beat this feeling.

May 8, 2020

I had asked my previous mentor teacher if I could Zoom with her and her students because I missed them. I missed their energy, humor, and kindness. I have been worried about how they were handling the quarantine and how they were doing emotionally. She was excited that I reached out and told me what time to visit them over Google Meet, which is something I didn’t know existed.

The students were ecstatic. They wanted to know how I was doing, what I have been up to, if I found a job yet, and everything in between. I shared with them my celebrations and achievements, along with my feelings of grief with losing important milestones like the seniors have.

They were still my goofy, hyper, and kind kiddos. However, they were different. They were older. More mature. Wiser. They have grown since our time together in the fall. It makes me wonder if I have changed too. I wonder how much I have changed since I started this school year. How much have I changed since I first started my teaching program? There are parts of me that feel stronger and more knowledgeable due to the work I have done these past two years.

May 7, 2020

A friend of mine who has worked 4 year in the public school system was laid off. He taught high school history and was pulling the theatre program out of the gutter (after the previous teacher tarnished the program with inappropriate behavior and conduct). A teacher who contributed to the school environment where students from all backgrounds and different interests could participate in class and after school activities. He was in charge of the Gaming Club, DnD Club, Anime Club, was involved with LGTBQ+, and so on.

4 years. 4 years of building relationships with students and families. 4 years networking with community leaders to gather materials and historical artifacts to connect students to the content.