My Dad Has Cancer

Good evening! My name is Hoagie and I'm just starting grad school in Arizona. My dad has had dementia for some time. But just 2 days ago (8/14/17) he went to the hospital with severe agitation and inability to void his bladder and they did a CT and found a large mass on his kidney and nodules in his lungs and liver. They did a biopsy today. They said they won't have results for 5-7 days, but they said it's 90% probably cancer. I live with my mom and we're both mentally and physically disabled (me more mentally and her more physically), and we just can't take care of him if he has end-stage cancer plus worsening dementia (it got really bad really fast). So we're gonna go with Hospice of the Valley. We're scared. Me more than mom cuz she has religion and I have... witchy stuff? Doesn't really help. #atheistprobs But HoV offers grief counseling and I plan to take advantage of it. Cuz my relationship with my dad is dead. I can't carry on a conversation with him. I miss him so much. And he's right there. He's still in the hospital but may be going home tomorrow. HoV says they can take him in for a little while while we get situated in our tiny apartment for him. In this blog I'll be talking about his progress and also how I'm coping, since the internet says journaling is a good idea. Most things are rebloggable, especially if you have any bright ideas, but know that he's on Medicare, we live off his retirement, he's 69, mom's 66, I'm 25. My pronouns are they/them. (Don't fucking start.) Follow me @hoagiehoagie for politics, queerness, and fandom. And send good vibes. <3