anxious pyromaniac

tumblr is (rightfully!) horny for trains but i need you to understand buses can be just as sexy as train transport. sexier even! if this sounds fake it's because the bus systems you've interacted with have been purposefully hobbled by bad funding/management. i promise well-run bus transit is SO fucking hot actually start panting

used to live in a college town that was huge on sports. 80% of small talk was sportsball and so i developed an Evil Habit: whenever the conversation inevitably turned to the upcoming Big Game i would act excited and then confused. I would earnestly insist they had the details wrong. "the game next Saturday? don't you mean the Thursday after? playing against the [predator species]? no we're playing against the [other predator species]." And so on. i would draw this argument out for as long as feasibly possible, until eventually someone would pull out their phone to prove to me my wrongness. At which point I would squint exaggeratedly at the screen, slap my forehead in an eureka moment, and exclaim "oh you meant the MEN'S team!!! are they doing a game? that's nice."

yeah the 2020s have been difficult but at least we have the consolation that a single season of modern tv now takes 5 years to make and lasts about 16 seconds

AND 👆 costs twenty billion dollars per episode

and costs twenty billion dollars per episode

I still say Frankenstein & Dracula would make a cute couple