Laurie

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Heyy! It took me a good while to finally get my shit together and write this post, but it’s finally here!! Maybe I’ll tweak it a little more at some point, who knows.

»»————> ꪉꪖకỉᨶ ỉ᭢ᠻꪮ ꪖꪉꪮꪊᡶ ꪑꫀ

⤘ Name:『Laurie, but honestly, call me whatever the hell you want』

⤐ Pronouns:『She/He』

⤘ Age:『18』

⤐ Sexuality:『Pansexual, switch』

⤘『Just to clear things up because I feel like this might get confusing. I’m biologically female, but I don’t mind being referred to male pronouns or being treated like a boy. I’m just rolling with it』

⤐『English is my second language, so yeah, I’m probably gonna make some dumb mistakes sometimes』

⤘『Chatting, questions, anons, whatever — go for it. Feel free to interact with me. I don’t bite.. Mostly. I’ll get back to you once my social battery is charged enough』

⤐『An introverted, depressed and a little bit crazy soul』

I don’t have some huge-ass DNI list. Basic DNI criteria apply. I’m not gonna write a fucking essay about it. I just block people I don’t wanna have anything to do with. Simple as that. Be yourself, be a weirdo, be freaky. Just not a shitty person.

ᦔꪮᦋᦋꪗ ᡶꫝỉ᭢ᦋక: Unfortunately, I’m closer to being an "old" mutt than a puppy. A stubborn, biting, tired, but hard-working mutt when given the right encouragement and rewards/praise afterwards. Freaky, but sometimes I pretend I’m not. I’m usually a pretty chill and calm mutt, but annoy me just right and you’ll see how quickly I can lose it. On the other hand, if you give me the right attention and care, I can be obedient. Maybe even act a little like a pup. But don’t think too much about it.

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My blog may be a safe (???) space for both me and you, but just a heads-up: sensitive topics can and probably will show up here. I’m mentally ill and I post whatever the fuck I feel like posting, so if my content isn’t your thing, just leave. Nobody’s holding you hostage.

If you do decide to stick around, feel free to express yourself here. You’re welcome. Just don’t try walking all over me.

『ꪑꪗ ᡶꪖᦋక』

#ೄྀᬊBarks and yaps࿐

— just yapping

#ೄྀᬊLaurie the mutt࿐

— mutt/puppy stuff

#ೄྀᬊWhining mess࿐

— complaining/venting

#ೄྀᬊSinful mind࿐

— horny/suggestive posting

#ೄྀᬊLaurie's anons࿐

- my beloved anons (if there are any:3)

#ೄྀᬊRebarks࿐

- reblogs

Obviously,

I want to wear your clothes. I want to bury my face in the crook of your neck just to breathe in your perfume mixed with something that’s unmistakably you. I want to bury my nose in your hair just to catch the familiar scent of your shampoo. I want to lie underneath the blanket you use the most. I want certain notes in your perfume to always remind me of you. I want to memorize someone’s scent so well that my brain could recognize them anywhere.

But why do stupid little things like this mess with my brain so much. SHE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW ABOUT MY MUTT STUFF. And I was already ready to nod along because like, hey, learning something new is fun and great. Even better when I get to think about how there might be the sound of a clicker waiting for me afterwards, or praise in that special voice meant for that, or literally any other kind of reward… Surprise, surprise, I GOT NOTHING :(( She’s unknowingly using my own weapon against me. Where do I go to file a complaint???

Hey! Yes, that’s where I got my username from, even though I’ve been very conflicted about that book for a very long time.

I’m also going to use this question as a bit of an opportunity to explain where I stand on all of this. I’m aware of the controversies surrounding both the book and, most importantly, the author, whose actions, views, and opinions, for the most part (because obviously I don’t know everything) I don’t support (!). Some of them I think are outright ridiculous, while most I find upsetting and genuinely harmful. I don’t want that to be mistaken for support of Hanya or her views, even if her book means something to me personally. That being said, "A Little Life" isn’t a flawless book either, and there’s plenty you can criticize it for. I’m fully aware of that. Still, despite my complicated and often contradictory feelings towards this title (and, honestly, sometimes towards myself as well), it’s important to me. I think that’s because when I read "A Little Life", it was supposed to be the very last thing I ever did, if you know what I mean. The kind of things you do right before you’re not supposed to be here anymore tend to stay with you in a very weird and specific way, rooting themselves somewhere deep inside you. I’ve got some shit going on in my head, and in my past I used to have even more of it. And as awful as it might sounds, during that terrible period of my life in my past, this book gave me some sense of understanding and comfort. Well, at least until I found out about what the author was doing privately and what she was trying to convey and/or achieve with the novel, because that completely changed the way I saw this whole fucking mess.

UGHHGHHGHHHAAAAA I WANT MY PEOPLE, I WANT MY WORKOUTS, I WANT REWARDS AND MY BENEFITS FOR THIS!!!

✨️