chapter 2

I miss the cats

I saw you at tractor supply

Whenever I'd wake up on an off day and you were already at work and I didn't have that physical intimacy to distract me, I'd get angry at myself for settling. I'd get angry to the point of tears. It makes me so sad. I wanted to be happy with you. I wanted to let go of the problems. But deep down the only reason I stayed so long is that I was so afraid to leave because being alone sucks. I miss you sometimes. But other times I remember things you did and I feel the same level of anger if not more as I felt back then. I want to move on. It's pathetic that I can't. I don't want to think about anything we did anymore. I wish I didn't have these memories. I wish I never met you.

Who tf did you even get shrooms from I wonder

You came down to find peace and immediately managed to find yourself having group sex and doing coke. When will you stop forgiving yourself fo your actions so you can finally heal and be a better person? When will you stop crying about being good enough and actually start trying to act it? I'm disappointed in what you gave up, all so you didn't have to face your regrets. You could be so much more.

https://help.tumblr.com/hc/en-us/articles/226264628-Delete-Your-Account-or-Blog

When I'm angry I can't think of anything else. I'm blinded. I don't want to be like this anymore. I miss you.

1999-2019

I hate that I wasn't strong enough to let you go earlier

I hate you.

But you didn't come down here to get away from it, did you? You fucking beelined to the people who could give you drugs and group sex, you worthless junkie.

All you had to do was say you regretted your past and I wouldn't have started hating you. Why couldn't you do it? You already moved down here to get away from it? Why couldn't you take that little verbal step? Why did you want to stay trash?

You win.

You should've never moved down here.

your little whore and Danny's bastard were here today. god i hate you. i hate how you humiliated me. I hate how you thought you were good enough for me. Fuck you.