908 South

im swimming at the lake and accidentally kicked a fish. this has never happened in my many years of swimming. sorry man

we’re so lucky that gilgamesh survived and is a banger. can you imagine if we found the oldest written human story ever recorded and it sucked balls.

African wild dogs are one of my favorite animals. Those huge round circle ears and tricolored coats. I love you African wild dogs

HEY. HEY. HOW DID YOU GET OUT??? HEY-

dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog?

my writing gland is purple and swollen

Official Post of Massachusetts

anyways (I say this as someone who is deeply critical of the united states government, military, unchecked capitalism, police, etc) I am SICK of people treating america as if it has no cultural value or positives so….. I love u 85 million acres (bigger than italy) of national parks. I love u harlem renaissance. I love u groundhogs day. I love u sweet tea and fried chicken and jambalaya. I love u apple cider donuts and maizes on crisp autumn days. I love u 95k miles of coastlines and new england fisherman and hand knitted sweaters. I love u halloween where millions of people dress up and give candy to strangers and carve jack o’lanterns. I love u small talk and small towns and potlucks and bringing over casseroles to your struggling neighbors. I love u cowboys and ranch hands and arizonian cactus. I love u appalachian trail and dirtbikes and divebars. I love u sparklers and fireflies. I love u mark twain and toni morrison and emily dickinson and henry david thoreau. I love u rock n roll i love u bluegrass and hippies i love u jimi hendrix and nirvana and CCR and janis joplin. I love u victorian houses and jonny appleseed and john henry and mothman and bigfoot. I love u foggy days in the pacific northwest and neon signs and roadside attractions. I love u baseball and 1950s diners and soft serve. I love u native american art and pop art and poptarts. I love u blue jeans and barbecues and jazz musicians 

Thank you divorce for all you've done for music

Organised crime? Nah girl I'm into disorganised crime. If a goon doesn't have ADHD they aren't getting hired

Cops can't stop us if they don't know what we're doing, and they can't find out if we have no idea either

Minions stop this post from reaching 1k

On it, boss! Gettin' this post to 10k, just like you said!

when god closes a door you reach your little paws under it and go mrrwwaaaooow mmreeaaow

I think that if you had enough daughters AND played your cards right you could spring Mambo Number Five out at the EXACT right gathering and shatter your entire family's trust forever

The secret is to name them out of order with the lyrics so by the time anyone catches on it's too late

For me personally the ideal gathering would be my funeral