life is a party & i get to choose the color scheme

has anyone figured out how much art you need to make to make your mental illness go away

so far it’s not seven

going from being in a place that composts to a place that doesn’t is such a mindfuck. like im standing here holding a banana peel bluescreening like whaaaaaat do i do with this oh the TRASH?? huh????

Sometimes the best fic you’ve ever written isn’t on ao3. It’s in 50 frenetic discord messages sent over a fifteen minute span where you and your friend yes and each other into a perfect story that will never actually be written.

Didn't really get as a kid hearing the joke of men claiming they "read Playboy for the articles" that Playboy not only had articles but they were good. Like every writer from the time has a joke about how it was the place to go to publish something for a lot of money that no one will read. Imagining if to read the latest Isaac Chotiner interview you had to log onto his favored platform, BigAssJugzzzzzzz dot com

Cocoa powder loooves spilling on the counter when I'm trying to be so careful

cocoa powder and powdered sugar are beautiful sisters whos prefered habitats are in order: the air , the countertop you just cleaned, and y our lungs ☝️

I love visiting people who have some kind of pet reptile because they're always like "would you like to hold the reptile" and I'm like "of course I would" and then the rest of the conversation happens with me just holding a random reptile and the reptile Has No Feelings about the situation. They always just sit there, probably vaguely wishing to return to their heat lamp but clearly exuding an energy of This Might As Well Happen. and then I put it back in its enclosure and go home and the reptile very clearly has no strong feelings about the situation.

#my environmental science teacher in sophomore year had a classroom snake. and it was exactly like this#just a bunch of teenagers gently passing a snake to each other and doing lab work#and the snake would be like. yup. im just here.

we don't hate J.J. Abrams enough

Made the worst brownies ever created just now

I love visiting people who have some kind of pet reptile because they're always like "would you like to hold the reptile" and I'm like "of course I would" and then the rest of the conversation happens with me just holding a random reptile and the reptile Has No Feelings about the situation. They always just sit there, probably vaguely wishing to return to their heat lamp but clearly exuding an energy of This Might As Well Happen. and then I put it back in its enclosure and go home and the reptile very clearly has no strong feelings about the situation.

#my environmental science teacher in sophomore year had a classroom snake. and it was exactly like this#just a bunch of teenagers gently passing a snake to each other and doing lab work#and the snake would be like. yup. im just here.

Holding my blorbo up by the scruff of her neck to show her to you

I have been in multiple situations where a friend group I'm not so familiar with starts making jokes about being into weirdo pervert stuff and there is a slight edge of competition to who is The Most Freakish I know for a goddamn fact that I have everyone beat in the pervert department but I can't say anything because they're probably just talking about light BDSM at most and I like things that are complete social suicide in 90% of spaces

like oh when you like puppyplay and choking its subversive and edgy but when I talk about getting my sexual awakening at 8 years old from the really fucking weird plant vore sequence in the third ice age movie it's WEIRD and EMBARRASSING i see how it is,

oh so this post stops getting notes when I make that addition, i see how it is,