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Day 4 of posting a marauders headcanon, lock in because this is a long one
So one time in 6th or 7th year, after Lily had kind of warmed up to James and the marauders and Valkyries had started hanging out, Mary, Marlene and Lily got an idea to pull a prank on the boys, just had to work out what would make them squirm enough.
So one day the three of them find Remus sat in the common room doing homework and there's a rat on the table near him. Mary casually is like "oh hey did you get a rat Remus?" None of them notice him significantly nervous as he tells them he got it during their last summer break (Lily and Mary are plotting, Marlene is wracking her brains cause she could've sworn he'd owned a rabbit)
So anyway after some deliberation the girls decide they're going to hide Remus's rat, just for a little bit. It takes a few days before they get a chance but then they see James with the rat, Lily is able to distract him long enough for Marlene and Mary to smuggle the rat up to their dormitory.
Peter actually has quite a grand time during this whole debacle, he gets treated rather well by the girls and finds that it's not as difficult to live as a rat as one might think.
James, Sirius, and Remus, on the other hand? Absolutely losing it. The first day or two they're thinking "Pete is a smart lad I'm sure he's okay." (S) "Yeah, he'll turn up." (J) and Remus is the only one who's worrying, then after day 3, teachers have started asking questions. It's only a matter of time before they get suspicious of "he's very ill professor we couldn't even get him to the hospital wing he needs to keep resting in bed"
It ends on day 4. Mary and Marlene would've kept it going, but Lily gets a bit of a guilty conscience and she returns the rat to Remus. She does however find it quite odd when he hugs her, runs over to Sirius and James, and the three of them look close to tears of joy before running up to the dorms.
I'll be honest I've yapped for a while and it's 11pm and I have no witty ending to this so yippee
Someone’s talking about harry potter in my vicinity so I have to physically restrain my self from jumping in and spewing knowledge about harry dad’s gay friends and classmates
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Moony was always moony, the same week the marauders found out about his condition they game him the nickname. However wormtail padfoot and prongs weren’t always going to be wormtail padfoot and prongs. Throughout his hogwarts years sirius was notoriously un-callable, it wasn’t him being rude or anything he just didn’t have the instinct that makes you turn whenever your name is called due to years of that name being screamed inside his mothers house and the fact that his name is literally a homophone for a very common word (especially in a teenage environment). He just didn’t have that sort of reaction to his name and there was nothing anyone could to about it. Sure, the marauders had fun with this in the early years of hogwarts by instead of addressing Sirius by his name to get his attention they would flick him or wave a hand in his face or randomly tackle him to the ground(james). And this was all fun when they were 13 but when 5th year came around they knew they needed a better way to get his attention so when sirius was the first one to turn into a animal they knew it needed to be something to celebrate that leading to padfoot. So it went on like that for a while moony padfoot james and peter and it wasn’t till months later (on james’s 16th birthday) when james got drunk for the first time and admitted he was ridiculously jealous that “those two” got nicknames and he and peter had to be called the name they were given at birth so moony and padfoot came up with prongs and wormtail as a joke and of course it stuck.
Someone’s talking about harry potter in my vicinity so I have to physically restrain my self from jumping in and spewing knowledge about hornkus binglefuck
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Anything from @scriibble-fics! They write the sexiest James EVER. period. Pack it in everyone. Unfortunately, most of their work is unfinished but it is absolutely still worth the read.
A few of my favs:
Eighteen Again: Second Chances order jily AU (ps. some of the chapters never made it to ao3 from ff.net!)
Bought: Death eater/ Dark marauders AU (note: this one can be a bit racy for people due to its topic of sex work BUT it has the sexiest James I have ever EVER read so...just read at your own risk?)
2. Anything by @missgryffin!!! I don't know what it is but whenever they write about James having a hard-on/ aroused I'm like...sweating.
For the Hope of it all: Summer Jily ft. one bed trope
Desiderium: Canon slugclub oneshot
Love for the Summer: Another summertime canon jily!
3. Golden Whispers by Claudiawrites: jealous! Canon Complaint Jily
4. Earthquake Drills by Elfkdetective: canon jily but I love that this fic goes there with more interesting smut situations as it goes along.
5. Ignite by Theresthesnitch: Another canon jily multi-fic but it also gets kinkier as it goes along.
Extra jilypad 😈
Mistaken by Theresthesnitch: This one is more of a wolfstar/jily foursome situation which was never really my thing until this fic...then it was REALLY my thing.
Best Friends Only by julestales: A classic "jily asks sirius to join them" type fic but I love the build up and the "logistics" (for lack of better term) that leads up to the smut.
Peter: When I was a child I was deathly afraid of vampires so I stole garlic powder from the kitchen and kept it in my pocket. If I was out after dark and thought someone was acting suspicious Id subtly sprinkle a little garlic powder on them
Peter: Like imagine a weird little boy deciding you failed his vibe check and promptly seasoning you
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Day 1 of 12 Days of Jily Christmas in July *but it ends on the 25th instead of beginning then*
Lily and James are hounded by bunches of stalking mistletoe. James is going mad trying to work out who in Gryffindor Tower is responsible.
AO3
~2300
There had always been mistletoe floating about Hogwarts in the weeks leading up to the Christmas holidays, as far as James could remember. In fact, just last year a particularly stubborn clump of the stuff had followed Davey Gudgeon around the castle incessantly until he had finally reluctantly kissed Bertha Jorkins just outside of the Great Hall on the last day of term. James had always suspected Sirius as the culprit behind that particular incident, but Sirius had refused to claim responsibility.
The fact that this year he, James, seemed to be the target of the dreaded clingy bunch of mistletoe did nothing to convince him that Sirius was not the one with the proclivity for this particular charm. Unfortunately, he couldn’t prove it since it didn’t actually behave the way it had last year with Gudgeon. Last year Gudgeon hadn’t had a moment of peace from the stalking mistletoe for three days before he’d given up and done something about it.
James’s mistletoe seemed to be selective about when it chose to stalk him. Sometimes Sirius was there with him, looking very convincingly unaware of what was happening, though James of all people knew how well Sirius could sell the innocent act. Sometimes, though, he knew for a fact that Sirius wasn’t around, whether Sirius was with a girl or in detention or off brooding, the mistletoe would zoom over to James, who stood scowling, looking for the person who had charmed it.
He suspected Remus for all of three minutes until Remus addressed it.
“What’s with the mistletoe?” Remus asked, attention fixed over James’s head as they sat in the squashy armchairs in front of the warmest fire.
“I should ask you,” James grumbled.
“Beg pardon?” Remus said mildly.
“I thought it was Sirius’s doing, but he’s off with Donna or whatever her name is. That Ravenclaw Seventh Year.”
“Dana,” said Peter.
James startled. He hadn’t noticed Peter coming down from their dormitory. Probably he had been too fixated on Lily Evans who had just entered the common room through the portrait hole.
“Yeah, her,” James said.
There was a similarly stubborn clump of mistletoe now bobbing along over Lily’s head as she crossed the common room. She noticed him sitting there, took note of his mistletoe, and looked up to see that she had one as well. She scowled at him and stomped up to her dormitory.
Over by a window near the boys’ staircase, Mary MacDonald was laughing to herself. James eyed her suspiciously.
The mistletoe over Lily’s head did not follow her up to her dormitory. The bunch over James’s head zoomed away, lingering near the fireplace. James pointed his wand at it and flicked to send it into the fire. It didn’t budge. He sighed.
“What’s going on?” Dorcas asked from a nearby couch, looking from James’s drawn wand to the stubborn mistletoe.
“I don’t trust a single person in this room,” James announced to the room as a whole as he got to his feet. A startled first year who realistically was probably innocent, stared after him as he headed out of the common room and down to the Quidditch pitch.
He flew for nearly two hours, diving and looping the pitch at top speed as he always did when he was frustrated, or angry, or disappointed, or just needed to clear his head. It just so happened that tonight he was experiencing all of those emotions.
He was on his way back up to the common room, chilled to the bone and still frustrated, when he turned a corner and nearly collided with Lily Evans herself. He stopped just short of toppling her over; his hand instinctively went to her arm to catch her as she reeled back. Almost immediately, he released her and stepped aside.
They both stared in horror as two nearly identical bunches of mistletoe came zooming toward them at breakneck speed, one settling squarely over each of their heads.
“Oh, for the love of Merlin!” he exclaimed.
“God damn it!” Lily shouted. “Potter, what have you done?”
“Me?” James was dumbfounded by the accusation. “You think I like having this shit floating over my head every time you’re around?”
“It’s floating over my head too!” Lily pointed out.
“I’ve noticed!” He turned and paced away from her, taking several deep breaths in an attempt to steady himself. She was still glaring at him when he turned back to face her. “You see the pattern, don’t you?”
“Yeah, of course I do,” she snapped. “I think the entire school has caught on this bloody mistletoe accosts me-”
“And me!” he cut in.
“- whenever you’re near me!” she continued loudly as if she hadn’t heard him.
“Do you really, honestly think I like the implication behind a bunch of mistletoe attaching itself to me whenever you’re around?” James demanded. “You don’t think it’s embarrassing for me, as well?”
“You’ve never been quiet about it before!” Lily shouted.
She didn’t have to define it. He knew what she meant. His huge all-consuming crush on her. He’d even made the stupidest decision of his life and asked her out in front of half the school at the end of last year.
“Yeah, well, I’m trying to be mindful of your feelings too, now,” he informed her.
He’d thought she’d noticed. They had been friendlier than ever before lately, and on a much more consistent basis than in years past. Some part of him, small and stupid and hopeful as it was, had thought maybe she was even starting to fancy him a little bit, too. It wasn’t until this mistletoe incident that she’d suddenly turned against him again. When he found out who was behind it, he was going to kill them.
“You really didn’t do this?” Lily asked uncertainly.
He looked at her. He had never seen her look so unsure of herself, not even as a first year entering a magical school as a Muggle-born.
“I swear I had nothing to do with this, Lily,” he said, walking back over to her. Her eyes, green as the forest and enchanting as anything he’d ever seen, roved his face as he approached.
“Maybe you put the idea into someone’s head, then,” she suggested, still studying him warily.
“Lily, I swear on the Quidditch Cup that I had nothing to do with this,” he said earnestly.
The corners of her mouth quirked upward. “Not the Quidditch Cup.”
“Yes,” he said gravely, putting one hand to his chest and raising the other in the air. “The Quidditch Cup.”
“Okay, I believe you,” she said quietly, smiling slightly as she looked up at him. “I’m sorry I’ve been awful to you since this started.”
He shrugged. “It’s not like I have the cleanest track record with this sort of thing.”
“But you have been a lot better this year,” she said softly. “That’s why I was so upset. It didn’t really make sense for you to suddenly backslide this hard.”
“I get it,” he told her.
They were quiet for a moment, each staring at the mistletoe over the other’s head. Then Lily sighed.
“It seems pretty obvious, doesn’t it?”
He looked from her mistletoe to her face, frowning thoughtfully. “No? I really can’t figure out who did it. I thought, at first, Sirius. Then Remus. Mary’s been a bit weird lately. And Dorcas just showed up in the common room this afternoon.”
“No, James.” Lily laughed and shook her head. “I meant it’s obvious what we’re meant to do to get it to stop following us around, right?”
For a moment, he was too charmed by her smile to follow. Then, her words hit him like a train.
“You want to kiss?”
Her smile turned wry. “That’s not exactly what I said. Sorry. But I do think it’s what’s got to happen if we want to be free of it.”
“Right. Yeah, right,” James said, feeling foolishly out of his element. He had kissed girls before. Well, he had kissed a girl before. It had been nice. Fine. Decent. It hadn’t been awful. He hadn’t really thought much about it, or her, afterwards. He suspected he wouldn’t be so blasé about a less than extraordinary kiss with Lily Evans. Even less if it did turn out to be extraordinary.
“Should we, then?” she asked, looking up at him almost shyly.
He swallowed thickly, and nodded. “I mean, sure, yeah, if you’re comfortable with that.”
“I’m more comfortable with the thought of kissing you than the thought of this-” she scowled up at the mistletoe “-continuing to follow us around until the professors banish all the decorations.”
It wasn’t exactly the eager consent he had always dreamed of, but it was practical and he had to admit he didn’t care to have mistletoe zooming in and out of the room whenever they found themselves near each other.
“Alright, then,” he said, clearing his throat and taking half a step closer to her.
She held up a hand between them. He froze immediately. “No tongue.”
Despite himself and how incredibly nervous he was, he smiled. “That's fine.”
“I mean it. I will hex you if you shove your tongue in my mouth,” she said severely.
“Honestly, woman. I'm not some creep pervert trying to take advantage of you,” he said defensively. “This was your suggestion.”
“I'm just making myself clear,” she said.
“I get it,” he said and started to lean closer again.
“But make it nice, would you?” she requested. This close to her, he could see that she actually had a very light dusting of freckles along her cheekbones. Her dazzling eyes looked distinctly nervous, which somehow eased his own nerves a bit. “If I've got to kiss you, it should at least be enjoyable.”
“Would you shut up?” He said mildly and placed a hand on her waist.
She rolled her eyes. “Oh, that's nice and romantic.”
“So sorry, Evans. I didn't realize this was a romantic moment,” he said sarcastically.
“Well, Potter, it's a ki-”
He slid his other hand behind her head and pulled her body flush against his as he pressed his mouth to hers. Her arms went around the back of his neck so quickly he wondered if it was instinct.
He kissed her like he would never have another chance because, honestly, he might not. And when she rose up onto the tips of her toes to press herself closer, lips soft and pliant under his, his grip on her tightened.
When her lips parted of their own accord, James kept his tongue firmly behind his teeth even as she deepened the kiss. And when he finally pulled back, he was intensely pleased by the dazed look on her face as her eyes fluttered open. He would be surprised if he didn't look similarly affected.
Her eyes widened as she seemed to come back to her senses and she took a step back, her arms falling from his shoulders.
“Well, I hope that was sufficiently…nice,” he said lamely.
She ran a hand down the length of her hair as if to fix any hair he may have inadvertently pulled disturbed. “It was…enjoyable, as requested.”
He grinned. He couldn't help himself.
“Don't do that,” she warned, but there was no heat behind the words, and the corners of her mouth hinted that she wanted to smile at him. His grin widened. “Stop.”
“I'm smiling,” he said. “You can't tell me not to smile.”
“You are not just smiling,” she argued as she turned on her heel and started up the stairs. “You look entirely too pleased with yourself.”
He remained silent, smiling to himself as he followed her along the familiar path towards the common room. Then, he noticed something. “Hey. Your mistletoe's gone.”
She stopped suddenly and wheeled around to face him, eyes wide. Her smile finally broke free. “So's yours.”
“Thank Merlin,” he muttered as they continued walking. “But you know what this means, don't you?”
“Yes,” she said, sounding darkly pleased. “Whoever did this to us is going to know we kissed. Which also means if they say anything…”
“They'll immediately give themselves away,” James finished.
“Exactly,” she said. “And then we can hex them!”
“You're a bit scary, Evans. Did you know that?” James said lightly. Honestly, he'd never fancied her more.
“I am a delightful person, I will have you know,” Lily told him as they walked up the last flight of stairs toward the Fat Lady.
“Usually, genuinely,” James agreed. “When you're not threatening to hex me.”
“Actually, that is when I am at my most delightful,” Lily insisted, chin up proudly.
“Many apologies,” James said on a laugh, turning to give the Fat Lady the password. “You're right, I love when you threaten me.”
She nodded sagely. “I always knew it.”
They stood there for a moment before they spotted their respective friend groups on opposite sides of the room. Sirius had turned up after his date, James noticed.
“Well, goodnight,” James said as he started toward the boys.
“Goodnight, James,” Lily said as she headed toward the girls. “And…thank you.”
He turned back to her and winked. “Anytime. Really. Anytime.”
She rolled her eyes, but she was smiling and there was a pretty flush to her cheeks as she hurried over to the seat next to Mary.
“Hey, no mistletoe,” Sirius observed as James fell into the empty spot next to him on the couch.
“What about it?” James asked, eyeing him suspiciously.
“It seemed like it was only following you around when Lily was in the room, and now it's not,” Peter added. He glanced toward Lily. “Hers is gone too.”
“Yeah, maybe we figured out how to break the enchantment,” James said, looking from Peter to Remus to Sirius again.
“Are you feeling alright?” Remus asked, frowning at James. “You're acting like a nutter.”
“I’m fine,” James insisted, crossing his arms over his chest and glancing back at Lily to find that she seemed to be trying to coax the truth out of her friends as well. Between the two of them, James was certain they would get to the bottom of this.
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