"Stop, listen, and learn."

Tonight I acted like I was more intoxicated than I actually was, I was rather quite sober in fact. I just couldn't get over how I felt. How I felt-- i am the worst boyfriend.

I feel like you aren't really happy

Being in the real world is tough. The past two days I have began to really understand how your happiness is the one thing you should pursue in life. It's not about money; all money does is pay the bills and shit like that. You could have all the money in the world and not be happy. So, chase what makes you happy. I am glad I have applied to grad school, even if it was like pulling teeth for me, because it will make me happy in the long run. It will bring a job with security, but then also allow me to be in a place where my person is too. Which, to me, is the happiest place on earth.

What's going on? Idk. Idk how to express my feelings right now. I want you, but I feel like I hurt you to a point where we can't be ourselves anymore. It saddens me. I want to be back to normal. I just wish I could take that one statement back. 😞

I feel like the biggest fuck up. I've always had the hardest time forgiving myself. Damn it.

Maybe it's just me. Maybe I shouldn't be so clingy.

I just keep getting this feeling that you are about to leave. Idk why though. My gut keeps getting this feeling though. You just don't seem happy with me anymore.

"One day we hope you stop holding it all in, and learn to let go and to forgive." ~ Martyr -- August Burns Red

Glad rush week is basically over so I can get my girlfriend back, so to speak.

Finding joy in music again. Finding joy in movement again.

I feel so distant from everyone, everything.