some thoughts

Excerpt from my Dex and Emma fic that lives in my brain rent-free, but won't probably see the light of day... 🥺

Emma was so much more than just his wife or the love of his life. She was arguably the only person that he could talk to honestly. And when she died, he had no one to talk to about his feelings about his grief. Because she was the one he always went to with that and now she’s gone.

I think this relates back to his relationship with his mom, who is probably the only person he saw himself in. And when his mom died, he didn’t know how to handle it. This is the same with Emma.

Emma was the most intimate, deepest relationship he had. And when he lost that relationship, he lost himself. When he lost Emma, he lost not only his past or his present, but the future they were building together, the future he envisioned for them.

Uranus' Moon Ariel: Valley World - March 3rd, 1996.

it’s one of the great cosmic mysteries. how it is that someone can go from being a total stranger, to being the most important person in your life.

Listening to your troubles and your worries was never a bore

I should’ve listened and really let you pour your heart out

So that I may do my best to replenish what had dispersed

Instead of allowing my inner turmoil and outer struggles to act as a barrier

One that stopped the flow of you to me

Me to you

I often wonder if there will ever be a moment in this space and in this time

That will allow our currents to align so we can flow with one another

Instead of against

I wish I could chalk it up to God and the universe for these events

But I know better than that

This is my deed

I am to be held accountable for the way our waters are now moving

But I do hope things will change

That one day we can share our life’s alongside each other

A dream I hadn’t realized I’ve been having since the beginning of our days together