45 silver worms in a trenchcoat

so we all agree that lord of the rings is a musical

I don’t put my mental disorders in my bio since as I writer I believe in the principle of SHOW don’t TELL. And boy do I go on this site every day and show.

the idea that every summer will be as hot if not hotter than this for the rest of my life is unbearable i need to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) murder an oil executive

iron lung directors commentary where markplier is in the top left corner narrating like he's controlling himself in a video game when

Hello everybody my name is markiplier and today we're getting thrown around in a metal can and marinated in blood because a utilitarian lesbian made the challenging but ultimately correct decision to put me in the soup

We just not going to talk about how he can also do pottery? With chocolate?

And stickers!

he HAS A not chocolate version of that god damned bowl right there! TAUNTING US, and holding the not pastries kiwis!

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes

“Picard hates kids” factoid actually just statistical error. Picard is uncomfortable around children. Wesley Crusher, who is a permanent reminder of unresolved grief, guilt, jealousy, and shame because Picard inadvertently killed his father while secretly being in love with his mother, is a statistical outlier and should not be counted.