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@45silverwormsinatrenchcoat
We have all seen the scenario of 'Simon just woke up on Erid/the Hail Mary and he's confused and defensive and possibly even violent', but consider:
Erid and the Hail Mary both have synthesized painkillers, Simon has probably never been on so much as Tylenol before, and someone missing an arm would get a dosage high enough to knock out an elephant
First Grace/Simon meeting:
Hello, I am putting my money where my mouth is
https://archiveofourown.org/works/88666371/chapters/235259491
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Customers[1] were a breed of animal hunted to extinction.[2] They were renowned for being stupid as all fuck[3] and annoying the shit out of me[4].
sorry, i mythologized your boyfriend. yeah i took him and a few other boyfriends and merged them together with local folklore and mystic elements into one legendary figure. he's going to be really hard to pin down historically. sorry about that. I can make you his consort in some stories if that helps.
from twitter user deejaygeejaygee
it just gets better
and better
This is my best friend's edit and she isn't on tumblr to share but I think ppl would like it a lot so im sharing it
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idk best part of count the rice is every time a player would make a joke in the grant room and thirty white guys would laugh uproariously no matter how good the joke was. truly so full of whimsy and joy
young old person tip for you all. go get some photos printed (pauses so someone can say bogos binted) and fill out a physical album
and annotate them with who is in the photos and when and where the photos were taken!!! your extended family 50 years from now will be grateful, and so will you if you end up forgetting any details
(sprints into room late, looking harried and frantic as fuck) bogos binted. did I miss it
poirot: the series
i do miss captain hastings (<- hasnt read or watched an agatha christie for a long time). like. hes basically what everyone thinks doctor watson is.
THINGS HE KNOWS: cricket. modes of transport. lots pf posh english people and their social codes.
THINGS HE DOESNT KNOW: literally anything else. regularly gets distracted from the case. fully does not know whats going on. him and poirot are like that one things they teach you on buisness school/things they dont teach you in buisness school-> thus, the sum of all human knowledge joke (you know the one).
poirot literallty just seems to keep him around as some kind of trophy husband/pet englishman/rubber duck/like. social lubricant i dont know what youd call it. like hes always just hanging around for no real reason. i love him so much
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"Gandalf, buddy? What have you got there?"
"Oh him? That my emotional support hobbit."
"Uh huh. And what he got?"
"That's my hobbit's emotional support hobbit."
"And I suppose those two are also emotional support hobbits as well?"
"No, of course not. Those two are my emotional distress hobbits."
".....?"
"Keeps me on my toes."
Gandalf: Well you stole my last emotional support hobbit
Elrond: I didn't steal him, he was given to me
edit I made for the real ones
one of the best parts of making up increasingly wild and specific aus with a friend is sending them posts like "this is sooo blorbo in torture chamber au number 15" and they reply back like "YESSS btw have i told you about my latest idea for how to torture them even more" and you get to enjoy a little snack and kick your feet with glee
when i accomplish anything on my days off work i feel like this. went on two separate walks today and i feel like i beat thru the fire and flames on expert with a wii nunchuck. while depressed
straight up why is it yellow outside
ohhhh ok its because there is a yellow alert
[Image ID: Text reading: Yellow Alert: Canadian wildfire smoke is flowing into Western New York and will degrade our air quality to unhealthy levels today. It will be worse tomorrow, with A... /End ID]
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"there's no platonic explanation for this" some of y'all need better friends
"there's no platonic explanation for this" some of y'all need to be better friends
It’s crazy that Ryland Grace, upon hearing that the science leads for Project Hail Mary were killed, told Stratt and the rest of the team to call in a random back up for the mission. Mind you the next person most qualified to go, was a chemist with a bachelor’s degree in Paraguay working at a brewery! With no experience whatsoever in anything remotely related to astrophage, let alone microbiology!! He was the only person on the planet with the skills to go and if he didn’t go, all he would have bought himself is an extra 20 years on earth max!!
Stratt had the absolute most valid reaction calling his shit out. She honestly held back when she confronted him and would have been hundred percent justified if she spoke harsher. He really thought they were going to delay the project to train an unqualified person for a task they didn’t remotely have the skill set for?? And he thought Stratt would be down for that???? Is he out of his fucking mind?????? Eva Stratt’s crash out is composed and elegant, I’m sure anyone else would have lost their minds during that conversation
