F A L S E T T O

“Why so serious, Kim Jung-ho? Is this about my late arrival.”

Jung’s ears pricked at the artist’s remark regarding his attitude, his eyes fixed on the face that stared back at him with a familiar look he’d seen in plenty of people like this one in front of him he had a privilege of knowing. Did he think he was better than me? Jung ignored the other man’s lack of consideration to introduce himself. His thoughts were on the paycheck he’d earn by the end of this session. 

A small smirk pulled at one corner of his mouth, “We’re all professionals here. I’m sure you’d feel the same if you arrived on time at a business meeting and someone made you wait… But that’s in the past,” his lips stretched in a fake smile, recognizing the attempt to stroke his ego. He wasn’t convinced of course. But if this inconsiderate brat wants to play games, well… Who said he couldn’t do the same? 

“I’ve heard a lot of good things about you…” Lies. He heard whispers among the staff about the artist whose name he could not remember… “And I was told you’re great during photoshoots, so… Shall we start?” He guided the other to the set. “The concept - cute and playful…” He looked at the other with a stern expression. “You can do cute, right? And playful?” He then scanned the attire the stylist had put the other man in and he shook his head. Pretending to look around he said a bit loud, “Didn’t someone mention shorts? Short - shorts,” he motioned to himself, getting one of the stylists attention whose mouth hung open as if realizing some mistake. “Yeah… I think they said put you in tiny shorts, ya know,” he turned his eyes back on the man standing in front of him, “Not those, definitely not… Hmmm,” he hummed, feigning concern.

In the past. The phrase made Siwoo smile. It was far from in the past, maybe it was what he perceived to be edge or sarcasm in the photographer’s tone. Not to mention the dig about professionalism. Repeating the words the other had just spoken, “All in the past.” He was on the verge of laughter but instead of giving in, Siwoo only smiled. 

“How do you define professionalism?”

Siwoo didn’t need an answer to his question and he knew that this discussion was only prolonging what they were both there to do. He wasn’t behaving professionally and neither was the photographer. They were dancing around the tension and unlikely chance that they’d be friends or even associates following this shoot. Rolling his eyes, he reminded himself that he needed to at least get through the afternoon and produce a shoot that received positive reviews instead of the negative upon negative results he’d yielded recently. 

It was the photographer’s next question that caused him to give up the rouse. “Have you seen me? Cute is all I do.” Hesitating not out of discomfort or even fear but just to calculate just how he was going to say what he wanted to say. “Fake. I’m not really good at. So this pretending that this is all business and we’re professional.” Shaking his head, “We can just be honest.” His head shook even more when short shorts were introduced to the equation. His eyes shot to the stylist who immediately broke eye contact with him. The color left her face and she attempted to walk, more like run away. 

“Can you stop thinking about yourself for once?” 

“Don’t think I forgot about what you did last time.”

“I know you lied to me.”

“I’m not even sorry.”

“You backstabber!”

“I never want to see you again.”

“You never mattered to me.”

“I knew this was a bad idea.”

“Rot in hell.”

“It was supposed to be a secret!”

“No one loves me.”

“He/she/they is/are so petty…”

“You made me cry.”

“I don’t know who you are anymore.”

“How DARE you?!”

“I know you’re not talking to me…”

“I SAW you with him/her/them!”

“Just leave me alone.”

“What did you do?!”

“I told everyone that I didn’t want to talk but I’m actually dying for attention.”

“Just admit that was extra…”

“I forgive, but I don’t forget.”

“[text read thirty minutes ago]”

“Did you see what he/she/they was/were wearing?”

“So what if I had sex with your ex?”

“There’s something I have to tell you…”

“I can’t do this anymore.”

“You weren’t there for me when I needed you the most.”

“I never loved you.”

“It’s too late.”

Keun remained silent, taking another long sip from his glass of whiskey without taking his eyes on the shorter man. Was it okay to let go? He loosened his hold around the other’s suit but did not entirely take his hand away, just in case the other wobbled once again.

Finally, when he felt the man was stable on his feet, at least for the time being, he pulled his hand away and used it to pat for his pack of cigarettes in his pocket.

“Did I attend Cheongnam?” He muttered, repeating the question posted as he found his pack, producing it from the inside of his jacket. “I did,” he offered a short answer, not elaborating when exactly he attended the high school. “And you’re right, homecomings and memories aren’t my thing… But booze,” he raised his glass, downing the rest of his liquor before setting the empty glass down on a counter. “Can never really pass up the chance to have an excuse to consume all the booze I can drink until I can’t anymore,” and nodded his head. 

“Does it matter whether you remember me or not?” He didn’t really wonder if he crossed paths with the younger man during his time at Cheongnam. The man appeared too young to be attending the high school when he enrolled. “Anyway…” He continued, pulling a stick from his pack and in the process of lighting it without finding out if he was allowed to smoke in the vicinity or not. “You look like you’re enjoying your time back here.”

Siwoo wrinkled his nose, contemplating his response to the man. There wasn’t much to say or even comment about the event. Fun wasn’t a word that was relative. His eyes followed the servers that passed and even while he steadied himself to keep his body upright, he reached for the very thing that could send him tumbling to the ground. 

The drinking had started as a distraction and now it was a necessity. Once he had the glass in hand, Siwoo shifted his gaze to the cigarettes, beating against the man’s palm. He never understood why people smoked but he wasn’t pressed enough to care. He could have launched into some diatribe about his time at Cheongnam and his behavior then but there were other things he found more consuming, like why this man, Keun wasn’t it, felt the need to drown himself in drink after drink to find this event enjoyable. 

“Careful, someone might call you an alcoholic.” He raised his glass, swirling the contents before taking a sip. “Doesn’t matter if I remember you or not but I was still curious.  Our paths keep crossing. First you hit my car, now you’re at my school, maybe you’re stalking me.” His words were slightly slurred and he offered his accusation with a hint of a teasing smile. 

Keun was greeted by familiar faces, the usual cliques, some of them at least, that he got along with while attending the old high school. The alcohol he’d consumed before showing up at the event helped him engage with the crowd. It helped his mind to be on a specific state, calm and relax, he was talkative, charming even.

He continued to pour drinks down his throat, entertaining questions about ‘where’ and ‘what’ concerning his current life. There were occassional ‘remember back when-’ that he handled pretty well until he was starting to feel bored…

That’s when he spotted a person he didn’t think he’d meet at his old high school’s event. Was he surprised? Not really. It’s a small world and Seoul is much smaller.

He reached out as soon as the wobbly figure was standing close to him, his hand grabbing just the front of the other’s suit to prevent the man from tipping to side or worst, falling flat on his face.

“I can take a break, can’t I?” He responded with a question to Siwoo’s question. “So, it’s either you attended Cheongnam or -” He raised his eye as if looking for someone following the shorter man. “You’re here with someone who did,” and brought the glass he held in his free hand to his mouth. He sipped slowly, contemplating whether it was fine to let go of Siwoo’s suit or not.

There was no doubt that the floor was his next destination but something stopped him. When Siwoo glanced at his arm, he noticed that a hand held him firmly, keeping him steady and upright. Thank you would have sufficed but this wasn’t exactly a time when he’d decided to play nice. At least not yet. 

Granted he was thankful for crossing Keun’s path and also remaining remotely like he was in control of his body, even if he wasn’t. He managed to smile in response to the man’s quip. “I guess I can allow you a break maybe two.” Looking around in response to Keun’s next question, he shrugged. “I didn’t come with a date. Alumni.”

Siwoo had questions of his own now. “Did you attend Cheongnam.” There was a passing familiarity the day they first met. Circumstances didn’t allow for him to think about it. Between concern for his vehicle and the conversation he’d been having with his friend in an attempt to maintain his cool.