As a follow up to my last post, I had asked my husband to write a few notes about why he "lets" me do it. I don't mean to seem like he controls me, because he doesn't. However, if he told me tomorrow he'd like me to stop having sex with Ben, I would. Because in the end it is about our marriage. So here's what he wrote, again, all points are equal to each other. These are his words, unedited. Keep in mind, he did not know what I wrote. Interesting to see the two sides.

Because it absolutely makes our communication stronger. There are no secrets, and that is super sexy and hot. Even when we're out and you say something like, "that guy is super hot". Every woman thinks it, but few have the freedoms to say it because of their own insecurity, or the insecurity of their husband, which comes out as jealousy.

Sex was always good with you of course, but it's way better since it started. Way better. It's more erotic, even ten years in. It never fails either--when you've been with Ben, our sex after is more passionate. I can feel it.

I see your confidence and the fun that you're having. It doesn't take away from us, it adds to us, and to you. I love seeing how erotic you are, and I love it when you describe an encounter with Ben. Most men would be threatened, I am not. I love it.

I like my/our friendship with Colin and Ben. A lot. It's really very cool.

Likewise, I love surprising you by planning a date for you with Ben. I love how it brings out the femininity in you.

I love the not knowing. I go to work, and I don't know if you're having sex with Ben. That makes every single day erotic in a hard-to-define way. In the times that I "catch" you in the act? Super freaking hot.

It's been ten years since my husband and I began our sexual exploration, which has resulted in me having a long term sexual relationship with two other men. I know a lot of couples read this blog and are curious. I get your questions. I'll try here to explain a little, as briefly as possible, to answer the question: "Why do you have sex with other men? What do you get out of it after 10 years?"

First, I'll say that the reason has changed. At first, it was almost entirely because it turned my husband on. Turned me on too, of course, but...if it hadn't been a turn on for him, no way it happens.

Once I realized that the way we approached it strengthened our marriage, our communication bonds, and once I understood that I could have sex with another man without "falling in love" with him, then I began doing it for "us", but also for "me".

So, I find myself now ten years in and I can reflect on why I still do it. I love lists, so I'll make a list. It does not have a particular order. I'd place all of these as equal to each other.

Sex is healthy, and having this situation at hand leads to more overall sex.

It makes sex more interesting. Not that sexually monogamous sex can't be interesting, but it really can't be as interesting as when there's a third person involved. AndI don't mean just the physical. The mental/psychological aspect is even more important.

I love the attention from more than one male. I love guys. I love masculinity. The "friendship" I have with Ben and Colin are, outside of my marriage, my favorite relationships. I love talking to guys, getting in their brain. Having sex with them, especially when they know the boundaries, enhances that friendship beyond anything you could have non-sexually. Also, does it need to be said that it's just really super hot to get whisked away for a night or three with a hot man as his "date" or "girlfriend", and escape the reality of life for just a bit? Everyone has an escape--I think this is a very healthy escape. Being in their presence brings out the sensual femininity in me.

It gives me even more motivation to stay in good shape, physically, emotionally, spiritually.

It necessitates better and more communication with my husband. That's what this entire blog is about.

This is a hard one to quantify, but in my experience it makes me look at the world and my existence differently. I see the beauty and sexual appeal in a lot more. Almost like the difference between watching a black and white TV vs. super high def 4k. Even the curves in furniture can be sensual.

Did I mention the sex is good? It's better with my husband, it's better with Ben, than ever before. By that I mean the actual feeling of sex. The orgasm. It's better.

I enjoy giving to Ben (and before, Colin). Giving of my time, my talents, my ears, advice, and of course, my body. I feel like I'm a positive influence and a good friend.

Not every guy that's likes to watch his wife fuck is a cuck. Some men just take great pleasure in their wife getting fucked by another man because, he is excited by her pleasure and sexuality. He doesn't want to be ridiculed and he will probably kick your ass out the door if you do so. You are to respect his wife, your only duty is to make her cum while he watches. Your job is to make sure he has the best view of everything.

If she's sucking your dick, make sure he has a good view and she is in a position to look him in the eyes especially, if she wants and let’s you cum in her mouth. If you are fucking her doggie style, make sure he has the best view of your cock sliding in and out of his wife, as a matter of fact that goes for any position you may fuck her in. If he wants to eat her pussy while you are fucking her, don't freak out, he just loves the view. If he stays there when you cum in her, it's because he wants to taste you on/in her, because another man just fucked her and it excites him tremendously, it does not mean he's gay and wants to suck your dick. But, if he does what is the downside. After all, you just fucked his wife whom he treasures. Count yourself lucky and then maybe, just maybe, you'll be invited back to fuck her again.

Believe me, I know what I’m talking about as I have been on both sides.

Fucking while the husband was watching, doing more and getting involved. And, being the husband watching and getting involved.