Wattup bitches, I've had this blog since I was 13 and I'm still here. Follow for the most sporadic original AC content ever. :)
(I wish this blog was my main but it's not, and trying to move it was A Fucking Mistake)
in all seriousness though a fandom doesn't die when there's no new episodes or games or "content" to play with and it doesn't die because people aren't as loud as the day it first came out either. if you're still creating then the fandom is alive. if your mutual who has since moved on still reblogs a post about it every four months then the fandom is alive. if there is even one person out there still engaging in, creating for, or just enjoying that show or that game or those characters, then the fandom is alive.
"fresh content" isn't the soul of a fandom. you are.
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I will never forgive people for saying Desmond Miles was selfish.
Desmond Miles was not selfish.
This 16 year old left a cult. This child broke through a lifetime of brainwashing and indoctrination, all on his own. He ran away from the only home he'd ever known because he felt that unsafe with his own father.
He deconstructed, did the exact thing countless cult scholars say is the closest thing to death that a person can feel. And then he was homeless. Worked for a nightclub far too young, was likely assaulted and exposed to drugs. And then, after only nine years of strained and fitful "freedom" -Nine years of only using cash and using fake names- his only source of happiness ended up being the thing that revealed him. He was kidnapped at and then subjected to phycological torture for months in the Animus. No one gave him answers, no one asked if he was alright. He just wanted to be a bartender for gods sake.
Was he wrong about the templars being real? Of course. He didn't know what was real and what wasn't.
But Desmond Miles was never fucking selfish for not wanting to die.
He felt guilty about leaving his abuser for gods sake. The man who not only prevented him from having a life outside the farm and likely gave him his scar, but the man who raised him up telling him the entire time that the only reason he was alive was to be an assassin. To die for a cause he never asked to be a part of.
And in the end he did.
He died a horrible, painful death for his abusive cult's fucking ideology. He was losing his mind by the end of it. They gave this man trauma upon trauma, unraveled him at the seams, ripped his brain open for their greedy purposes and ruined his body and mind. And in the end no one even thanked him.
Sometimes I wonder why I'm still obsessed with AC. Like, why can't I just let it go? The characters I care don't show up in the newer games anymore. So, why does it still live RENT FREE in my brain—and then I remember it's because of Desmond fucking Miles. I'm holding vigil for a dead man that Ubisoft didn't mourn properly and I am forever furious. Forever hurting about it because behold my rant:
There were very few people who REALLY cared about Desmond. Like, Desmond was on the run for nearly a decade. His longest stint was at the Bad Weather under one solid fake name. That identity was the closest he got to stability but even then, he couldn't afford to let people in too deep. He had to stay off the radar. Stay safe. Stay HIDDEN. That kind of life doesn't allow for closeness. Not just with others, but with HIMSELF. Like, he couldn't risk getting attached or even afford to let himself love anyone.
Like, Desmond didn't have long term partners—just flings. No real connections. Just temporary ones and even those probably came with an exit plan. He probably loved everyone he got somewhat close to, but only in that distant way someone starved for a real connection could allow themselves to. The only people who ever got close to Desmond were Lucy, Rebecca, and Shaun, but even then, most of his time was spent in the Animus.
And dude c'mon, THAT'S where ANY real connection even happened because the Animus didn't let Desmond keep his distance. With Altair, Ezio, and then Connor, he was forced into the deepest intimacy possible. The Animus stripped any and all walls. Desmond lived their lives. He felt what they felt. He thought their thoughts. He essentially lived their lives. Intimately. Repeatedly.
No one can fucking tell me he didn't love them.
You cannot live inside someone's soul like that and come out untouched. He bled with them, loved with them, felt their joys, bore their regrets. How do you go through something like that and NOT love?
I am forever 100% convinced that Desmond loved them. DEEPLY. IRREVOCABLY. Altair, Ezio, Connor—they were HIS. He carried them. He knew them more than anyone else ever could or would. He knew them in ways no one knew him. And god, what kills me is that none of them ever got to know him back.
Like, Ezio got close. Heard Desmond's name. Saw a glimpse of him, but that was it. They never knew how fiercely they were loved. How Desmond defended them, cherished them, clung to them.
Talk shit about any of them? Desmond would throw hands and SPIT ON YOU because they were more than memory and probably more than anything he ever knew.
And Ubisoft—fuck you for not doing anything with that.
You had it right there. The emotional core. That psychological goldmine of what it meant to bleed into someone else. The trauma. The love. Wasn't Desmond supposed to be the ultimate Assassin? That he could've canonically TRAVELED THROUGH TIME. THAT WAS THE ORIGINAL PLAN. YOU SAID IT WAS. You had it all set up and you dropped the fucking ball. You WASTED IT.
Fuck you Ubisoft I hate what you've become.
In canon, who loved Desmond? Really? Shaun and Rebecca. Probably Lucy. That's it. Three people and they knew him for less than a year. And Desmond? Desmond loved ghosts. He loved people long dead, who would never look him in the eye and SEE HIM.
I think that's why I'm still here. Still writing and not letting it go. Desmond fucking deserved to be loved back and if canon won't give it to him, then goddamn it I will.
Thank you for taking the time to read my rant while I scream into the fucking ether.
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Been wanting to have a go at Old!Desmond after seeing @fishblade-koi ‘s delicious art so I did another versions to this Desmond portrait I was doing :3 Ill probobly try to do it again in my usual style soon, just couldn’t find a way to pose old Des lol :p This was fun and ım down bad for him
tbh old Des would prob still keep his hair short but I am selfish
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