aqua

the urge to kys and make other people feel bad is so strong this time of year

fuck a reward system the reward is the weight you lost. be grateful.

i’m once again back. the depression got so bad i lost sight of my motivation. but now that it’s even worse starving to feel something is so appealing 😽

i love when i develop a crush, it’s like a free boost of motivation

summer is an eating disorders worst enemy. i can’t till fall.

got some stories from last night (i remember none of this): i cried when they tried to give me cake but i ate it when it was fed to me so my friend sat there and spoon fed me cake (i am very embarrassed i don’t think i can face him ever again) apparently they played a kpop song (my friend doesn’t remember which one) and i went wild and did the dance in the middle of a crowd in the living room. (i might actually never show my face in public again) and at the end of the night my friend rolled a blunt and we smoked it and on the way home (dw we had a dd) we stopped for pizza and i got two vegetarian slices (the only mildly okay thing i did last night). anyway now i have to go to the movies with the friend that fed me cake and i’m so tempted to cancel but then that would be the second time i’m cancelling and no one else in the friend group wants to watch “talk to me” with him. so i’m going. he better be grateful (i owe him immensely for taking care of me last night)