Blood On the Dance Floor

was fucking awesome...I met Dahvie outside while standing in line, got a picture, gave him a hug...(talked to him more later) I had a conversation with Jayy when he was standing by the merch table because I got stuck in the corner with him (I didn't mind) it was cool, just being able to talk with him, get a picture with him etc.

I walked away to Jeffree Stars Merch table and got a shit ton of merch... A sweater that is black and says Jeffree Star on it, the Blunts, Bitches and Bath Salts shirt, 3 bracelets, a poster, and 2 CD's...

Went back up to Botdf's Merch table and bought, 2 necklaces, 4 bracelets, IPhone case, and 3 CD's, I wanted an icky boo sweater but I didn't see them there (I don't think they sell them anymore -_-)

anyways, I went back to Jayy and got him to sign my right arm, and then went down to the floor to stand in front of the stage..

The first group was okay, New years day & Davey Suicide weren't there in Toronto but yeah.. Then Jeffree Star went on which was fucking awesome...

and theeeeeeen I saw Andrew setting up the stage for BOTDF...

when they came out it was wow. they may be an unsigned band but they know what the fuck their doing :P

The foam was awesome, the fake blood was cool, the laser lights were killing it, and the music was great, Dahvie mooned us all :P and They were having just as good as a time as we all were :) and Jayy's laugh is nicer to hear in real life... (just saying)

After the concert,

I met Jeffree star, got him to sign my poster, and got a picture with him (:

then, I ended up getting backed up in a corner standing right behind Dahvie at the BOTDF Merch table, so I got to hear a lot of his inspirational talks with fans... it was nice, he is so optimistic and gives good advice :)

He then eventually turned to me, gave me a great big hug and we had a conversation with more hugs in between, he gave me some advice, and was just overall a person you would love to have as a best friend... he signed my arm as well.. I didn't want to leave that spot... I literally talked with him for a good 5 minutes... and yet I never told him about how many times blood on the dance floor has saved my life...

I remember nights staying up contemplating whether I should just give up... on well, everything..  I remember listening to blood on the dance floor, and the lyrics "Put down the knife, Take back your life" I remember bawling because I was at my breaking point where I needed someone there, I needed some sort of comfort...I was just done with my depression, I was done with everything... I felt like this was just never going to stop...

'you are the heart' is just one of their songs that can make me cry.. 

basically I'm saying that they saved my life that night.. and many other nights... just by their music, and just knowing that even though I am one fan out of thousands others, they still love and care for every single one of their fans...

but yeah... I ended up leaving that concert feeling in a better mood.. to be honest, I was waiting for this concert, so I could go, meet them, and basically I felt like I was 'allowed' to die after... that was my plan.. to kill myself soon after...

but once again I feel like they saved my life.. going to that concert just reminded me that they care..

Dahvies advice also helped a whole lot.. and their hugs are just what I needed...

I might be rambling now, but I had to get that all out... I will be a fan forever..

To end this all, I would like to thank BOTDF for everything they have helped me through, for being a band people can look up to, for being a band that takes the time to meet their fans... for just doing what they do... it's about time a band like them came to existence... <3

and as a reminder for the rest of my life that someone does care.. that on that night I made a promise to botdf and myself that I will not give up... I will keep going with my own music, and to just remember those nights where they have helped.. I got a tattoo..

with Dahvies signature, he had the Two Unity lines at the end (the only part that looked good of his name haha ;) ) I got the two unity lines, and Jayy's signature tattooed on my right arm today...

I don't care if no one else understands and just thinks "why would she do that?" I got it because it means a lot to me... it's basically something to remind me of that night, to remind me not to give up.. so fuck what anyone else thinks. I got it for me, it's my body...

I will post a pic tomorrow.. :)