12:01am Thoughts

L ost

maybe i was wrong...

I love you because you actually put effort into me. I love you because nobody has ever given me the love that you have given me and you are the only one that could ever love me this way. I love you because you always make me feel that I am worth something. I love you because you care about me. I love you because you made me smile when I almost forgot how to. I love you because you have a huge and honest heart. I love you and every little detail about you. I love you because you are simply you.

I did not get to be mad and it's not fair. I did not get to yell and it's not fair. I got to sit in silent tears and it's not fair.

Maybe we don't see ourselves the way we really are

Have you ever wanted something so badly it felt like your lungs were collapsing? Like the need was so sharp you were folding in on yourself? Like maybe your heart had the choice to stay quiet or to break itself chasing the light and it chose self-destruction.

How the fuck have I gone through everything I have and not learned to let go of people who don't appreciate my effort and can't see when their actions are drowning me?

I think about you all the fucking time.

I wish I could ignore you, like you ignore me.

I don’t do things because I think people will think better of me. I try to do good things because I believe it’s the right thing to do.

You are shaped by how you see others seeing you.

Find something new to love today.

And at the end we were just strangers who knew each other very well

Who would’ve thought that after all these years by your side. After knowing you more than I know myself, and loving you more than I could ever love someone else. You would leave me without even saying goodbye. But here I am, missing you at 3 in the morning. When you’re asleep and I’m still crying myself to sleep.