Discipline and punish. Foucault the haters.

So she's calling you "sir" and sucking your cock and performing her duties for you and you're in control of her and give her orders and issue punishments and rewards. Fuckin' A! But take a minute to think about WHY this happens.

A submissive girl has a very special blend of needs, and a major one is a need to give up control to someone. Some need to give more, and others less. Some in areas that others never would. But the basic interaction between dominants and submissives is control.

And as a dominant, hey who wouldn't want control if she's giving it? Pretty sweet deal, right? But between all the flashy porn, and guys in suits with kneeling naked women, and dommy slogans and all that shit lies a quiet truth: It's about her.

When you take the control, you also take the responsibility. You now own ALL consequences of the control you exert - INCLUDING anything SHE fucks up! As the captain of the ship, it's YOUR responsibility to ensure its smooth running, and a big part of that is knowing her - her strengths and weaknesses, her anxieties and fears, and most importantly: where she can shine.

A submissive isn't just some tits and holes; some automaton to do your bidding. She's a human being, complete with joys and pains and wants and needs and moods and love - capable of beautiful, wonderful things (even if she may perhaps not be aware of them yet). Yes, your play might include objectification and humiliation and other things that on the surface "deny her humanity" in some ways - but even with these kinds of play, there's an unspoken understanding that you won't crush her spirit and that you'll lead her faithfully. A good dom learns about her abilities and dreams and helps them flourish - helps HER shine.

The amount of control a submissive needs to give leaves her incredibly vulnerable - and unfortunately that vulnerability will likely have been taken advantage of many times before she meets you. She won't let you all the way in until you've proven yourself to be honorable, and even then this will take a long time - the river of trauma run deep. Forcing her will only make her wall that part off from you forever (she can't help but protect herself from an attack like this) - And I'll tell you now: You'll NEVER know what treasures she's hiding.

So yeah, it's great to be the king, but never forget your responsibilities. Her needs run deeper than those of a pet or child, and your dominance will be expressed differently with her than with other submissives even - that is the way of things. How could it be otherwise? We're human, and complicated.