0mega71 vs merlynbane

So I was laying down in bed with an excruciating headache when my boyfriend offered to make me a sandwich and I was like yeah sure please and then for some reason he got distracted and started to talk about something else and my head was pounding so I said “Cool story, babe. Now go make me a sandwich.” and he just literally looked at me with his mouth open before he finally said “You win this time” and went out to the kitchen

At long last after years of hearing this annoying joke coming from men’s mouths and overpriced shirts I get to say it to a guy.

Here’s a photo of the lil bitch where he belongs.

He is going to kill me when he sees this already has like 40 freaking notes

blurrized

let’s make this go viral

*whispers* what have I done….

I showed him the notes and he said “oh god i’m gonna be a meme.”

Sounds like me. Unfortunately........

Fandral’s womanizing is mostly his way of compensating for the huge crush he’s had on Loki since they were kids.

-paangsoflove

Well then. Fandral is a wonderful companion of my brother, but I would not delve into such fantasies. I would rather not bring such pain to Thor.

Everyone regrets the moment that someone showed Loki what a paintball gun is.

-jkittycatblog

merlyn-bane

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT

geektopea

It’s one of those things that seem like a good idea at the time.

merlyn-bane

NO IT’S NOT IT’S THE *GOD OF MISCHIEF* WITH A BLOODY *PAINTBALL GUN* IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A GOOD IDEA?

;)

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thelifeofmex3-blog

Reblog if you are so unpopular that you don't even get an anon's hate.

The carpet in the main room of the Tower always has curiously looping patterns worn in them, because when Loki can’t sleep he paces.

-Anon

You weren't supposed to know about this....... D:

SHE WAS, VERY LONG AGO.

IT IS BEST WE DO NOT SPEAK OF IT ANY FURTHER.

NEVER mention that name in my presence again!!!!!!!!!

HE HAS NEVER ADMITTED IT TO ME OUTRIGHT, BUT YES, I SUPPOSE HE WAS.

I DO NOT BLAME HIM FOR IT. I SHOULD HAVE PAID HIM MORE ATTENTION.

I'm not answering this

THAT IS UP TO LOKI, NOT ME.

Depends

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IN MY CENTURIES OF LIFE, I HAVE INDEED SPENT TIME WITH MIDWIVES (THOUGH NOT ALL OF IT PURELY FOR LEARNING PURPOSES).

I DO KNOW HOW TO ASSIST WITH BIRTHING A CHILD, IF NECESSARY. I AM NOT PARTICULARLY SKILLED IN DOING SO, BUT I CAN DO WELL ENOUGH.

(THOUGH NOT ALL OF IT PURELY FOR LEARNING PURPOSES). Dammit Thor!!!!!!! Merlyn get a hold of your boyfriend!!!

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bootycap

Cap visits a school assembly and they have him lead the pledge of allegiance but "under God" wasn't added until he went under the ice so he doesn't know that part so he doesn't say it and the next day all the headlines say "CAPTAIN AMERICA FORGETS GOD" and FoxNews freaks out.

oh my god

haleswallows

#YES. YES YES YES. YES#Steve is really fucking confused#Nat explains ‘because communism’#and he’s like ‘oh great#thanks a lot Nat’#and she’s like ‘you’re welcome comrade’#steve rogers (via bluandorange)

rembrandtswife

[rolls around on the floor clapping and laughing]

ellidfics

He also causes something of a stir when someone tries to tell him that our national motto is “In God We Trust” and he corrects them with “No, it’s ‘E pluribus unum.’”

He would make such a lousy guest for Fox.

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Yep!

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hey i have a question

would yall want to talk to me on skype like would that be a thing? i’m not really on it all that much, but i would love to talk to yall if that’s ok with you guys omg i’m a dork sorry