Hi, I'm Toby

Asexuals who are sex repulsed, whose asexuality doesn't get 'cured' when a hot romantic partner walks in. Asexuals who think they are sex favorable realizing that they were only so in theory and are sex aversed in life. Sex indifferent asexuals just chilling in the middle. Asexuals with high libidos. Asexuals who masturbate. Asexuals who've never felt sexual arousal. Asexuals who want to have children. Asexuals who're asexuals due to sexual trauma.

Demisexuals and their partners discovering boundaries and communicating about what's okay and what's not. (Because even if asexuals are having sex, the relationship will be nothing compared to what amatonormativity wants you to believe) Conversations about sex.

Asexuals having allosexual partners (whom they aren't having sex with). Asexuals only preferring to date other asexuals. Straight asexuals, asexuals of every romantic identities, asexuals who fall in love, asexuals who get their heart broken because their partner can't have a relationship without sex :(, polyamorous asexuals, aromantic asexuals watching all the chaos.

I want real people, poc asexuals. Asexuals who love joking about sex, asexuals saying the lord's prayer everytime someone says anything sexual, asexuals who are somehow both. Religious asexuals, agnostic asexuals.

Conventionally attractive asexuals, asexuals who don't gaf what they look like, asexuals who love burlesque art forms due to non sexual reasons. Asexuals loving nudity in art because NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT SEX.

Asexuals who're confused and questioning. Young asexuals who think they might somehow 'grow out of it' and are faking their identity. Old/Middle aged asexuals who just realized they've been ace all their life.

Asexuals wanting to be normal all their life. Asexauls realizing they are normal.

Asexuals coming out and their family accepting them without the ahem "You'll find the perfect person one day" ahem "it's just a phase" ahem ahem "that doesn't exist" ahem "all humans want sex" ahem ahem AHEM.

Asexuals loving garlic bread. Asexuals invading denmark and finally establishing the heaven we want to and not tolerating anyone's bullshit anymore.

No, I'm dead serious. Why are asexuals only allowed to have sex when we don't want it?

Stop me if you've heard this one:

Asexual: "I'm sex repulsed, I really just want a romantic relationship with no sex-"

Some Fucker: "well then you better only date other asexuals or your partner is going to feel like you don't love them! Besides, asexuals CAN have sex, it doesn't make you less asexual! Maybe you can compromise with your partner and just do non-penetrative?"

and somehow at the same time

Asexual: "I'm sex favorable and I love having sex with my partner!"

Some Fucker: "wtf lmao how can you be asexual if you like sex? That's not how that works lol faker! Everyone knows asexuals think sex is gross. You just want to invade the community and make real asexuals look bad and spread misinformation so allos think all asexuals have sex!"

Do y'all see what I see???

It's fucking weird. Actually, if I'm being blunt, it's fucking creepy.

Like, first of all, change the two people in the first example:

A woman: "I'm not attracted to you, I really just want a romantic relationship with no sex-"

Some Fuck Boy: "well then why are you even dating? Your partner is going to feel like you don't love them! Besides, you CAN have sex, it doesn't make you less as a person! Maybe you can compromise with your partner and just do non-penetrative?"

Ew, gross, rape-y as fuck, right? Yeah, that doesn't change when Person A is asexual.

But now let's look at the second example in a new light:

A bi man: "I love having sex with my girlfriend!"

Some Fucker: "wtf lmao how can you be bisexual if you like straight sex? That's not how that works lol faker! You just want to invade the community and make real bisexuals look bad and spread misinformation so people think all bisexuals are just faking for attention!"

That's fucking weird, right? Yeah, it is when you do it to asexuals, too.

I really want the aspec community to bring back action ≠ attraction, because it's a damn good slogan.

Break it down with me: action...does not equal...attraction. What someone does is not indicative of what kind of attraction they experience. Do we all understand that?

And before anyone goes "but why would an asexual even want sex??"

It feel good

It's fun

There's a whole ass spectrum between zero attraction ever and allosexual

Sexuality and labels are weird. Ever met a lesbian who's dating a trans man because he came out after they got together and they didn't want to break up? She's still a lesbian, he's still a man, and it doesn't have to make sense to you because you aren't fucking or dating either of them. Same logic applies here

I'm begging everyone to stop spreading and reinforcing this rhetoric. It's not helping anyone, and it's actively harming most of the asexual community, no matter which stereotype you push (and if you're somehow pushing both, you're a hell of a hypocrite).