Theiabobeia

Y/N: [clicks pen in response]

Steve: Stop that.

Tony: Stop what?

Steve: You're talking about me in morse code.

Tony, sarcastically: Yes, that's exactly what we're doing.

Tony: In our very limited time, we took a class in a very unnecessary form of communication just so we could talk about you behind your back. Congrats, you've figured us out.

Sebastian Stan as BUCKY BARNES in the blue Howling Commandos outfit

Robert Downey Jr as Tony Stark

Everyone:

Tony, beaming: I made a new suit for him, do you like it?

Avengers: ...

Tony: it matches his eyes

Peter, whispering: my eyes are not red

Pepper: Tony? The fuck? Where did you get this child?! Where are his parents?

Tony: Here. I mean I’m here, so that’s one. But we can all co-parent like this one small village in China, where they basically-

Peter: actually, I have an au-

Pepper: Tony, we don’t have any kids.

Happy: that’s Tony's full name. Anthony Stark.

Peter: Oh..

*a few seconds later *

Happy: hold on.

Happy: did you think that Tony and Anthony are two different names?

Peter:

Peter:

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THE GOOD KANYE ARCHIVES

FILE: Tony Stark | Iron Man

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STATUS: ACTIVE

SUBJECT: TONY STARK

TIMELINE: FLEXIBLE

THREAT ASSESSMENT: FATE INTERFERENCE

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"He didn’t get a soulmate. He got trauma, and tequila, and a bedroom full of distractions."

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It wasn't even the fact that he woke up in the future, all his friends except Dum Dum and Peggy were dead, and he was still mourning Bucky, who, for everyone else, had died decades ago, but the very fact of society's expectations for him.

Steve was awakened from the ice, and people expected the great Captain America, whose myth had grown over the years, the experience and wisdom of a hundred-year-old man…

And Steve was a goddamn 26 years old.