Confessions of a woman in the trades

Today I was a clown 🤡

In the past months I have taken to stress relief in the way of makeup. I have gone to my construction job with this makeup. Yes, people do still surprisingly take me seriously. Yes, I do get funny looks. It's all in good fun, especially in this time when it's hard to find a reason to smile. Any other ideas I could try and recreate?

I am going to try and vocalize how I feel right now. You say you appreciate what I do,but I am unsure if you realize everything that I go through mentally to do it. You speak gratitude, only when you think I need it, but you don’t show it. I work myself to exhaustion but still it feels like people doing less get the same benefits. I feel as if my hard work goes unnoticed. I love what I do, but, recently I have hated doing it. There’s always a push but never an end. I feel stuck in a place that I am not going to grow. I respect why you do what you do, but too much is expected of the single people who work the hardest. It may not always be a verbal expectation. The expectation is always there; push harder, go faster, get it done. I understand, it’s business, but it is a lot of pressure for those of us who care. It is difficult to work in an environment of people whom we did not “have time” to train properly who do not understand that, to us, it is NOT “just a job.” My life for the past four years has been this job. Almost everyone I met in Fort Saint John has become what feels like family to me. Unfortunately, I do not always feel that reciprocated. When I received my most recent pay increase after voicing my intentions of leaving I was told I had potential to run jobs. “Potential” means that I was not yet ready, I was excited at the idea that this potential could grow. I thought someone would help me achieve that potential, but instead I have been once again left alone to figure it out on my own. Lack of communication has been an issue more than once, when I have been put in a position where I am “the voice” of the company. It’s difficult to have a voice when you have no idea what is going on. I would like to learn and grow and meet what potential I have been told I have, but I fear there is no room for that when everything moves at the pace it moves, and everything is so busy.I often feel underappreciated, and like somewhat of an outcast. Being, what you have called, the first woman you have put in the position that I feel I have been thrown into with no proper training is a lot of pressure that I was not expecting all at once, and was unprepared for. I try and work through things on my own because everyone seems to think I can, but I have difficulty believing in myself. I fear that I worry too much about where other people stand and do not focus just on improving myself.

Have you ever had someone you just automatically connected with? Like you didn't know them, you me them, and they were perfect? I found that. It's amaysink!! It's so weird though. Like We started talking and then all of a sudden we were hanging out and now we're dating. and I'm like sitting here amazed at how right it feels. I just wanted to tell you peoples since I haven't actually posted in a while :P apologies about that. I probably won't post again for a while. But I thought this was something that everyone needed to know. I'm not too sure why. I hope all of you find what I've found. because honestly it's literally the best thing I've ever experienced, He's amazing :3

side note; Can I be girlier please? I think that's exactly what I need. Am I this pathetic?

Maturity is deleting two of your friends off Facebook and Skype because you can’t handle them being together because you want to be the one with the girl. Time to grow up now you’re 23, be mature about it.

I’ve realized that I have never really been truly obsessed enough with something to keep up to date with it. I’ve decided to try and do this with Hunter Hayes

So the other day I went out with a friend of mine from Burger King. I'm still not rid of that place, I go back often as I'm friends with some of the staff still. So anyways, my friend and I went out for the evening and hung out near my house. We decided to go for gelato because I had coupons. Free stuff is so lovely. So he get out of his car and finds a samsung galaxy s2 or something on the ground in an otter box and was like oh someone dropped their phone. I'll just put it here and puts it on top of a car and was about to walk away from it!! I was like O.o you're going to just leave it there? On top of that car? You don't even know that it belongs to that person. (Turns out it didn't) we called multiple contacts trying to figure out who's phone it was. First on the list was mom. Man this guys mom was a bitch to me :/ hahaha I realized later that the reason was because his number comes up as unknown. So I was looking through messages trying to find out a name. Found out his name was Bill. Eventually I called a few people from his favorites and found out who's phone it was! Good thing I found out his name :P haha. So eventually he calls his phone and I answered and said hello? He said hi. So I was like, "I have your phone" he was like "no you don't." I was so confused hahaha I was like you just called your phone and I answered. Eventually we found him and we're able to return his phone to him :3 I was glad to have done a good deed. I wish someone else had had that kind of courtesy when I lost my phone. He was a pretty decent guy, offered to give us money hahaha we were both like no! It's ok we're fine. He was very insistent :/ we almost made a run for it but decided it would've been awkward for us to have done that. So thanks to that guy I was able to pay for the ferry to get over to the island to see one of my best friends that I haven't seen in forever. Karma guys. It's a thing.

[queue hysterical laughter]

Hello all! Sorry for not posting an original in a while, been kinda lazy. Today's post will be about car rides/road trips. I go on the road a lot with my new job which is so fun! Here's the thing; I love looking at myself. I'm self centered like that :P so I make an effort if I can't sit in the front to sit right behind the driver. Probably sounds pretty random, I'll explain. The reason I like to sit up front is because I'm used to driving so I like to look out the front window. I like sitting behind the driver, if I'm not in the front, because the way the rear view is tilted so the driver can see often gives me a clear view of myself, and that's majorly what I do while sitting. I just look at myself.. Lol that's my random story about my self centered ness.