lover of demonized characters

Let’s unpack that: he is speaking to a group of human women, representing the very group of people who were enslaved by fae for centuries, and when they bring up this long history of subjugation, torture, rape, and death, his response is to essentially say, “Well, both sides were bad.”

That is victim-blaming. That is revisionist history. That is colonialist rhetoric.

It’s no different than saying, “Well, the enslaved people fought back sometimes, so it wasn’t just the slavers who were wrong.” Rhysand, who wants to be painted as this morally enlightened, progressive High Lord, essentially minimizes the suffering of an entire species—the one his mate used to be a part of, no less—because acknowledging that the fae were uniquely cruel would be an inconvenient truth. He doesn’t show remorse. He doesn’t even offer an ounce of compassion.

Instead, he offers the oldest excuse in the book of abusers and empires: “It was mutual.”

No, it wasn’t. The fae were the enslavers. The humans were enslaved. Power imbalance matters. Scale and systems matter. And for Rhysand — who was alive during that time — to not only fail to acknowledge it, but dismiss it outright, is a massive moral failing.

What makes it worse is how it lines up with everything we’ve come to understand about how he views humans. Rhysand might love Feyre, but he doesn’t love humans. He doesn’t mourn their culture, their history, or what was taken from them. In fact, he only seems to acknowledge humans when it’s politically convenient (like trying to leverage Feyre’s mortal roots or the war). Otherwise, they’re an afterthought at best, disposable at worst.

And the fandom just…lets him get away with it.

There is no growth. No nuance. Just a man who calls himself “feminist” and “progressive” while upholding the very structures that oppressed entire peoples — and gaslighting them about it.

"Nesta's an Illyrian at heart," say the ones metaphorically clipping her wings and trying to control her.

"Nesta would thrive in the Court of Nightmares," say the ones abusing her.

"Nesta has rage issues," say the ones who can't control their tempers.

"Nesta may spite us," say the ones who condoned Feyre destroying an entire court out of spite.

"Nesta makes everyone's trauma about herself," say those who make Nesta's trauma all about them.

"Nesta needs to be physically restrained," say those who are constantly threatening her with physical violence.

"Nesta may hurt Feyre in a fit of rage," say those who watched Feyre burn the LoA in a fit of rage.

"Nesta needs to be punished for telling the truth," say those who withheld vital information.

"Nesta's a slut," say those who spent their entire twenties sleeping with any female who showed interest, oftentimes in the same room as each other.

"Nesta's an alcoholic," say those who, canonically, drink more than her.

"Nesta needs to apologize to us," say those who never apologize to Nesta.

"Nesta needs to be held accountable," say those who never suffer the consequences of their actions.

"Nesta had no right to give Bryce the Mask," say those who can't wield or control the Mask.

"Nesta will answer to Prythian for what she did," say those who never answered to Prythian for releasing death-gods onto it.

1. Lack of informed consent : By withholding vital information about Feyre's pregnancy and the risks associated with childbirth, Rhysand denied her the opportunity to make an informed decision about her own body and reproductive health. Every individual has the right to know and understand the potential risks involved in pregnancy and childbirth, and Rhysand's failure to disclose this information deprived Feyre of her autonomy and agency.

2 . Endangering Feyre's health : Pregnancy and childbirth are inherently risky processes, and concealing information about potential complications puts Feyre's health and well-being at serious risk. By keeping her in the dark about the possibility that childbirth could be fatal, Rhysand failed to prioritize Feyre's safety and disregarded her right to access necessary medical care and support.

3. Emotional and psychological harm : Discovering the truth about the risks associated with childbirth after becoming pregnant can be deeply traumatic and emotionally distressing. Rhysand's decision to withhold this information not only endangered Feyre's physical health but also inflicted significant emotional harm, as Feyre was forced to grapple with the fear and uncertainty of facing a life-threatening situation without adequate preparation or support.

4. Lack of trust and communication : Healthy relationships are built on trust, honesty, and open communication. By choosing to hide vital information from Feyre, Rhysand undermined the foundation of trust in their relationship and created a barrier to effective communication. Feyre's ability to trust Rhysand and confide in him was compromised, leading to a breakdown in their relationship dynamics and exacerbating feelings of isolation and loneliness.

5. Sensory deprivation and isolation : Rhysand's decision to shield Feyre from everyone and everything, including crucial information about her pregnancy, subjected her to sensory deprivation and emotional isolation. Deprived of access to external support systems and resources, Feyre was left to navigate the challenges of pregnancy and impending childbirth alone, exacerbating her feelings of vulnerability and helplessness.

How would he know? How would anyone know?? Precious Rhysand has actively been a terrible individual, a terrible High Lord, and a traitor to Prythian by siding with Amarantha for his own reasons. There's a reason most of Prythian distrusts him.

Others have noted it already, that SJM often gives the most valid arguments to the characters she's trying to demonize in order avoid actually addressing it (Tamlin, Beron, Lucien). The above passage takes place in acowar. As late as acowar, there's still no accounting for what happened UtM. Any and all valid questions concerning Rhysand's actions/motivations, are given to characters that Feyre "chooses not to answer." If they persist, they're silenced by violence/outside forces, and their objections are never brought up again.

It's moments like these in the books that could've been done so much better. If the main characters were allowed to be questioned and give satisfactory answers to other characters on the page instead of only letting the reader know, we could have a wonderfully more complex world to work with. If the doubts raised against the MCs had weight that the MCs had to actually face up to, I would be more inclined to like them. Instead, we get characters whose most frequent inclinations are to "not think about it" and "not respond."

When you think of Tamlin not reacting to Feyre’s torment UtM, think about Rhys being the center of that torment, drugging and SAing her for no reason other than to stick it to Tamlin.

When you think of Tamlin binding Feyre to the manor, think of Rhys warding the Moonstone Palace and warding her with a shield that prevented Cassian from kissing her.

When you think of what Tamlin said about Feyre at the High Lords’ meeting, think about Rhysand suicide baiting him for no reason, AND what Rhysand said about Feyre’s thoughts about Tamlin during ACOTAR.

When you think about Tamlin’s alliance with Hybern, remember it was to protect his court, get Feyre back, and gather information, whereas Rhys allied with Amarantha to keep one third of his court safe, leaving the rest to rot.

When you claim Tamlin lied to get Feyre over the wall, remember Rhys nearly fed Feyre to the Weaver, had her lie to Tarquin, and lied to her about her goddamn pregnancy.

Also Feyre: *turns a blind eye to the oppression of Illyrian women, accepts Rhys's weak excuse that 'change takes time' and is happy to sit back and do nothing else to help the female citizens of HER court,

uses Illyrian wings as a costume for her sexual pleasure,

nevermind the fact that Rhysand has been a raging abuser since book one up to HOFAS but even if someone did only read ACOTAR, he still abused, sexually assaulted, physically assaulted, emotionally antagonized and drugged Feyre and paraded her around naked for no reason, and more

his weak ass 17 pages of excuses, no apology btw, doesn't do shit to make any of that better so even if someone did only read book and one and had no knowledge of them becoming a couple they would still be valid in calling him an abuser. if anything it almost makes it worse that he can still be rightfully called abusive even when you take out all of his actions from the other books

the way it's romanticized, the way SJM makes it out to be some sort of liberated girl power moment when it's just another powerful man objectifying and exploiting a woman who has already been traumatized exactly like this by him, the way people are so fucking thick in the head that they actually believe the narrative she's trying to portray?

framing it this way and to have Feyre not think of it as the same, to have her act like she's not just reliving her trauma for Rhysand's pleasure? it's sick

Rhysand actually convinced her that having her parade around as his whore in front of the entire CON, partaking in non consensual exhibitionism for no reason* was the right move??

Seven High Lords on the continent yet none bowed low enough to work with her—except one. Rhysand sold himself into her slavery, turned himself into her pet dog and committed countless crimes in her name for fifty years, murdered children and innocent people in her name. All to protect Velaris—a city nobody even knew existed. Is it selfless or just plain stupid, to sell your soul for a city no one was even looking for?

Explain to me the logic in this. Please. The other High Lords inarguably had more to lose: families, bloodlines, entire courts instead of just one city. Velaris and its citizens are no more deserving of the blood Rhysand spilt to protect it than Adriata or Artemisia or any cities of Dawn, Spring, Winter, or Autumn. Yet, not a single other High Lord bowed to Amarantha’s whims. They were her hostages, but they were never her slaves. Unlike him. Three High Lords and their bloodlines wiped completely off Prythian in their defiance of her, yet somehow it’s Rhysand who is deserving of praise?

Was it bravery or cowardice that led him into her service? He had enough time and magic to erect a shield around Velaris, to wipe clean everyone’s memories of the Inner Circle. That’s more than what everyone else had, when they were all stuck hostages Under the Mountain. That’s more than what Tamlin got with his fifty year curse, when he had to send countless men over the border to die in his defiance of Prythian’s wretched self-proclaimed High Queen.

Power? Freedom? What exactly did Rhysand do with those little movements Amarantha allowed? He didn’t rule, didn’t orchestrate a rebellion, didn’t find intel on how to take down Amarantha from the inside. In fact, he seemed more than content to sit on his ass like everyone else while Tamlin tried to break the curse. So what exactly did those countless moments of hurt and pain and trauma bought Rhysand, hmm? Nothing more than anything else the rest of Prythian got.

Night was a dumpster fire because both Hewn City and Illyria were given too much freedom. Velaris was locked away as it had been for 5000 years. And Rhysand a mass murderer and a criminal, on top of being Amarantha’s consensual non-consensual sex slave too.

Nesta told her sister she and her baby would d** out of spite . Her OWN sister, while she's treating some loser strangers with utter kindness .

Nesta always goes too far with her sisters, and she hardly regrets it . What she did was disgusting and irredeemable. If she left the NC it would be easier for everyone else

Look, we're not on TikTok, so let's use our big girl words, yea?

Nesta Archeron is the textbook definition of a victim.

1.) She is a victim when she was assaulted by Tomas Mandray. It's addressed in Wings and Embers in vague terms, but SJM lays it out in ACOSF (Chapter 25).

2.) She is a victim when she was assaulted by the Cauldron. Cassian literally says that Nesta was violated in Chapter 16 of ACOWAR. When Nesta is stalked and possessed by the Cauldron in Chapter 29, the scene reads like a rape scene: "She screamed as the Cauldron's darkness pinned her to the bed, and there was nothing but the horrible weight of it filling her body, tearing her apart from the inside out—" Rhysand in rescuing Nesta—(shaking and trembling, mind you)—tells Cassian that he had guessed "but it was different to feel it [her trauma through her memories of the Cauldron]."

3.) She is a victim when she was kidnapped and sexually assaulted by the kelpie in Chapter 35 of ACOSF. He forces a kiss on her - a moment that takes Nesta back to being forcibly kissed by Tomas before Tomas tried to rape her. The kelpie then gropes her breasts. In legal terms, he made sexual contact. Amren reveals later (in Chapter 37) that the kelpie said, "I shall take you, little beauty, and you shall be my bride before you are my supper." This underscores that the kelpie wasn't simply acting as a predator in the way a leopard might stalk its prey, but as a sexual predator as well.

Textbook. Victim.

Casual racism that is brushed off as “an innocent mistake” or “they didn’t mean it” and then everyone pretending like it didn’t happen and moving on with their day (repeat)

Speaking over fans of color about issues that pertain to them specifically

When fans of color speak out about something that makes them uncomfortable or why that don’t interact with it (usually because of the racial/ethnic bias) they are accused of being anti’s or pro-censorship

Characters of color being used as scapegoats/bashed/plot devices 

Characters of color never getting happy endings/real development

Backlash against characters of color if they do anything other than be a white character’s side kick/best friend

Actors of characters of color being harassed for something their character did or didn’t do

White characters/actors getting all the attention/credit despite the fact that they are a side character to a POC or on the same level as the POC

Fanfic authors patting themselves on the back for writing a “realistic” character of color and it’s just a bunch of stereotypes

Being told that they should be happy they were even included when they call out the above people

White fans crying about persecution/exclusion because their fav character/trope/kink/ship isn’t loved by all 

Fan artists re-imaging characters of color as white/lightening skin tone

Everyone rushing to a white fans defense after a well deserved call out while the fan of color receives hate

Never having a safe fandom space and always having to be on guard with new people/fandoms/chats etc because they’ve been burned before

- (re)writing characters of color as abusive and/or violent to infantilize white characters

white artists bragging to artists of color about how they “draw nonwhite/ethnic features better” than them even if the artist of color has said features IRL

fetishizing characters of color and profiting off of it (theres a popular white artist who has an oc who’s an indigenous brown woman and he brags about how all his [white] lesbian friends think shes hot and sexy but if you wanna see the only content hes made of her, which is extremely sexualized, you have to be part of his patreon)

racefaking (the amount of white bloggers ive seen/met who claim to be POC just bc of some vague fraction of nonwhite blood in a distant relative or citing literal pseudoscience.. )

white artists who fetishize black and brown bodies yet pat themselves on the back for ‘being diverse’ (this goes double if theyre racebending white characters into stereotypes)

digital black/brown face (howre you gonna use AAVE online and have a poc as your icon and talk about racism AS IF youre a poc and then be surprised when poc dont like you acting like one of them for clout 🤨)

any accountability a white person has when being called racist just being “teehee sorry for being racist do you still love me <3” and then acting like nothing happened

expecting random POC to be their sensitivity readers (they do not exist for you to volunteer them to tell you if your slave narrative is racist NOR should they have to tell you that your characters with made up fantasy/scifi names are actual racial/ethnic slurs)

white writers caring more about a (appropriative) fictional culture theyve become weebs for and ignoring poc whose real life backgrounds/culture served as inspiration

the “im white so i cant speak on this” argument becoming an excuse NOT to support any of your friends of color when theyre being attacked for calling out someone else’s racism

constantly triggering poc with sensitive racial topics just so you can get clout for knowing about it. i can assure you poc know how to recognize whitewashing and other bigotry

white people trying to explain racism TO poc. instead of spending their time educating other white people (that being said, when they DO try to educate other white people they do nothing to actually source nonwhite voices and instead just talk as if their white asses are an authority on racism)

“im gay/trans/disabled/have x minority identity so i cant be racist”

white people will make up ANY excuse to make a (usually racist) callout post about any poc yet keep stanning their openly bigoted white favs

white echo chambers surrounding white bloggers who think theyre the only source on what is/isn’t racist bc they steal and water down any point made by actual poc (who are either ignored or harassed)

the way literally ANY topic that white people can experience can be discussed in fandom spaces but the second you mention racism or colonialism or slavery it becomes “lets stay on topic”

“MY fandom isnt racist bc everyone is so nice to each other <33” <-the people who are THE most racist or the most complicit

using the real life traumatic history of POC as a backdrop to your historical AUs

white people assigning whatever social justice term to characters they hate, such as calling a character that has a BIG following of poc a white supremacist/nazi, instead of just being normal

white people who think fandoms are their own spaces to be the activists they think they are yet block/harass any POC who won’t act as their personal yes man

white knighting fictional poc while talking over actual poc

any discussion surrounding racism being treated as “discourse” on the same level as ship discourse

fandoms supporting white people who draw (usually fetishized) art of poc instead of supporting actual poc (white artists already have too much of an ego just bc they draw ambiguously brown characters)

only interacting with poc for their content educating white people and doing nothing to actually like, treat poc like normal people (or outright avoiding making friends with poc)

white fans gatekeeping what does/doesn’t make a fictional character a poc / poc-coded

changing the skintone of ACTUAL LIGHT SKINNED ACTORS OF COLOR to “improve them” instead of just?? taking inspiration from real life darker skinned actors??

white kinnies using nonwhite names and completely whitewashing their kins of color (ex; calling yourself Kyoshi or thinking your white ass knows what its like to be Miles Morales just bc hes an artist)

white people trying salvage THE most racist media imaginable instead of listening to the poc it harms

Fans of colour being called puritanical/obsessed with purity culture when we call out racism

White fans purposefully derailing conversations about racism that fans of colour are having

Fans of colour being called bullies when we call out racism

Fans of colours intelligence and/or literacy being insulted by white fans when we do something they don’t like, like calling out racism

White fans using the struggles of poc to virtue signal on their blog but actually listening to poc is too much for them

Fans of colour being instant blocked for trying to explain to a white fan in the most sugar coated way possible why a post is racist

Fans of colour being tone policed when we speak up against racism and if we’re anything but meek, polite and sweet, white fans will take that as an opportunity to dismiss us. White fans on the other hand can be proudly, egregiously racist and still earn a decent following

Fans of colour being blocked by white fans seemingly out of nowhere and then finding out that that white fan is racist

All a white fan needs to do when they’re being called out on racism is go “I’m sad, you guys are bullying me” and they’ll get white knighted by other white fans because white tears over being called out on racism is more valued than poc tears and anger when we call out racism

White fans accusing poc and other ethnic minorities of faking their ethnicity to escape being called out on racism

White fans using the excuse “I don’t talk about politics on my blog”, and then proceeding to talk about politics on their blog but avoiding anything and everything to do with poc because apparently that’s too much for them

White fans using any and every excuse to not include even major non white characters in their posts

White fans playing on the worst racial stereotypes of non white characters to use them as cheap villains in their fanfictions or headcanons

White fans throwing around certain buzzwords like “manipulator” to throw at us when we call them out on their racism to paint us as abusive and conniving

White fans treating poc calling out racism like it’s some sort of twisted play of power on the pocs end rather than just..them being exhausted at the racism in fandom

Nor have they been subjected to Cassian's harassment, verbal abuse, and temper tantrums. Nor have they been subjected to Amren's verbal abuse and racism. Nor have they been subjected to Feyre's bullying. Nor have they been subjected to Mor's insults. Nor do they live under the constant threat of physical violence and death by Rhysand.

If Nesta truly is this mean, hateful, abusive bitch that Feyre and the IC think she is than she wouldn't be constantly surrounded by friends before, during, and after the Archeron's poverty. It was Feyre - not Nesta - who was a loner in the human lands. Her only friend was Isaac Hale, who was more her fuckbuddy than her friend.

The narrative paints Feyre as this perfect, selfless, nice, easy-to-love person, but all her friends are her mate's friends. They accepted her with open arms because she was Rhysand's mate (or they suspected her to be). The only friends she's made on her own are Lucien and her painter friend. Meanwhile, Nesta's really only not friends with her mate's friends. She's out here making friends left and right on her own, apart from him.

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

I think Feyre really embodied this sense of toxic masculinity from “traditionalist views”, that while everyone suffers at the hands of her doing so, people like her sisters, Lucien, Tamlin, the women in her court, etc, suffer the most.

We all know she’s not a girl’s girl until it comes to Mor. It even gave me the biggest ick the first time I read Feyre think “I’ve never had a female friend before”. Like what do you mean??? You were rich for eleven years, there were women in the village to talk to as well- you didn’t start hunting until you were fourteen- what were you doing for nineteen years? Are you that unlikeable that not a single woman will befriend you?

And I’m of the full belief that Feyre coming home after hunting, tracking her dirty ass clothing through the house with no care, belittling her sisters who do domestic labor because she doesn’t view it as valuable, demanding she gets a bath immediately and overall being a fucking verbally abusive menace is exactly the same vibe as a 1950’s husband coming back from work.

Yes, because Nesta - not Feyre - was just traumatized. Nesta - not Feyre - was just abducted, tortured, violated, essentially killed, and turned High Fae against her will.

When Feyre was traumatized, it took her months to recover. And that was with her living in the Spring Court, a Court she was familiar with, a Court that was her home. With a man she loved, where she was surrounded by friends. Nesta is trying to recover from a very traumatic experience while living in a land that is completely foreign to her, living around people who are completely foreign to her. The person she loves is catatonic, and she's surrounded by people who hate her. She has absolutely no one for emotional support, she has no one to talk too, she is all alone and trumatized.

On top of that, poor Nesta can do nothing right to the IC. She reads smut and takes care of Elain, and that's not good enough. She pushes aside her trauma to help them in the war, and that's not good enough. She gets re-traumatized during the war, pushes everyone away, and moves to the other side of town, visiting Feyre a few times a month, and that's not good enough. She sits quietly and politely, and that's not good enough. She lashes out, and then all of a sudden, it's "Nesta is so cruel to us!"

what are ur thoughts on this scene? especially “the tone, the disgust and disapproval” part

A number of readers don't see why others find Mor to not be a "girl's girl" type of character. SJM's narrative had her welcome Feyre with open arms, but Mor's reaction to and treatment of Feyre differs greatly than with others.

To start off, let's look at Mor's relationship with Nesta. They had a disastrous first interaction, and it immediately put Mor at odds with her. 

Some readers say they didn't notice any nastiness on Mor's end, but you just have to look at the text to see that's not true.

Some readers excuse it as Mor treating Nesta that way to defend Feyre and Cassian, but Mor treated Nesta in a way that overstepped only worrying about friends. 

If it was about Feyre, well Feyre always checked Rhys when he disparaged Nesta. Mor could have taken the lead from that. Feyre forgave Nesta for their past, wanted to move on, and that was family business between the sisters.

If it was about Cassian, Mor had no business getting between them either. Feyre wondered if they were mates since ACOWAR, so others likely wondered too. That's a situation best left to the possibly bonded. Mor wasn't in a relationship with or in love with Cassian, she was just using him as a buffer with Azriel.

For examples of poor treatment, there are many that show Mor was rude and irrational when it came to Nesta.

The first time they interacted isn't the 'Nesta is just a bitch' situation it's made out to be. Some readers say Mor was only being friendly, was just trying to be welcoming of Nesta, but that isn't a take supported by the text.

“Where did that dress come from?” Mor said, red gown flowing behind her as she breezed toward Nesta. My sister drew up short, shoulders tensing, readying to— But Mor was already there, fingering the heavy blue fabric, surveying every stitch. “I want one,” she pouted. Her attempt, no doubt, to segue into an invitation to shop for a larger wardrobe with me. [Mor conversing with Feyre about Rhys picking the dress] “He gets all the credit for clothes,” Mor said, examining the fabric of Nesta’s skirt while my sister monitored like a hawk, “and he never tells me where he finds them. He still won’t tell me where he found Feyre’s dress for Starfall.” [...] “It’s a good thing we’re not the same size—or else I might be tempted to steal that dress.” “Likely right off her,” Cassian muttered. Mor’s answering smirk wasn’t reassuring. (ACOWAR, Ch. 17)

This was not very long after Nesta and Elain were thrown into the Cauldron. In reality, Mor's behavior was inconsiderate and insensitive of someone who recently had their bodily autonomy violated.

Invading her personal space.

Grabbing her dress up.

Ignoring her verbally before finally acknowledging her.

Smiling at a joke about stripping her. 

It isn't something you'd expect from a character who, according to SJM's narrative, is supposed to be sensitive to victims. The interaction wasn't about complimenting Nesta, because Mor knew the dress was given to her. She asked Feyre about it. This wasn't simply a friendly encounter. Nesta acting how she did with Mor was not starting an uncomfortable situation – it was reacting to a situation that was already uncomfortable for her.

After the IC got back from a battle, Nesta asked them where Cassian was. Instead of simply answering, Mor went off on her.

And Nesta had been … pacing in the foyer. As if she was worried. I opened my mouth, but Mor beat me to it. “He’s busy.” I’d never heard her voice so … sharp. Icy. [...] if the Illyrian warrior no longer stood as a physical and emotional buffer between her and Azriel … And worse, if the person who caused that vacancy was Nesta … Mor said flatly, “When he gets back, keep your forked tongue behind your teeth.” My heart leaped into a furious beat, my arms slack at my sides at the insult, the threat. But Rhys said, “Mor." (ACOWAR, Ch. 39)

Another time, Mor tried to interrupt a conversation Cassian and Nesta were having, which was in no way hostile. It wasn't like she was trying to defend Cassian or anything; she was just being territorial.

Mor sagged a bit, jewelry glinting with the movement, and went to take Cassian’s arm. But he’d at last approached Nesta. And as the world began to turn to shadows and wind, I saw Cassian tower over my sister, saw her chin lift defiantly, and heard him growl, “Hello, Nesta.” Rhys seemed to halt his winnowing as my sister said, “So you’re alive.” Cassian bared his teeth in a feral grin, wings flaring slightly. “Were you hoping otherwise?” Mor was watching—watching so closely, every muscle tense. She again reached for his arm, but Cassian angled out of reach, not tearing his eyes from Nesta’s blazing gaze. (ACOWAR, Ch. 42)

Another time Nesta worried about Cassian, Mor rudely sent her on her way after Feyre said he was ok.

Nesta stood by the nearest tent, an empty water bucket between her feet. Her hair a damp mess atop her mud-flecked head. Watching us emerge, grim-faced— “He's fine. Healed and awake,” I said quickly. Nesta’s shoulders sagged a bit. She’d saved me the trouble of hunting her down to ask her about tracking the Cauldron. Better to do it now, with some privacy. Especially before Amren arrived. But Mor said coldly, “Shouldn’t you be refilling that bucket?” (ACOWAR, Ch. 27)

The comments Mor made in ACOSF are particularly bad.

The first is when she was having brunch with Cassian, where she brought up Nesta unprompted, was snide about her, then outright callous.

“She’s settled, then?” Cassian knew who she meant. “Taking a nap.” Mor snorted. “Don’t.” His attention drifting to the glittering Sidra mere feet away. “Please don’t." Mor sipped her tea, the portrait of elegant innocence. “We’d be better off throwing Nesta into the Court of Nightmares. She’d thrive there.” (ACOSF, Ch. 4)

Mor knows more than anyone how a "difficult" woman would absolutely not thrive in a sexist society. It was actually a ridiculous statement to make. Nesta's whole reason for being sent to the House of Wind and training was because the IC considered her "out of control". Feyre straight up admitted it.

Mor was projecting her abuser onto Nesta, when Nesta is not comparable to Keir. In fact, she is more comparable to Mor. She was drinking excessively, which Mor does too, often taking full days to recover. Nesta was shamed for having meaningless sex, but Mor will have sex with someone she doesn't even like to put off Azriel, rather than have an honest discussion with him. 

The second time Mor made comments was in Windhaven camp, where she didn't actually have to be. She doesn't rule over it, nor was she involved in Nesta's training. I wondered why she was even there when she hates it so much. 

Mor’s face was pale, tight. “I hate this place,” she said under her breath, the heat of it clouding the air in front of us. “It should be burned to the ground.” (ACOMAF, Ch. 45)

It seemed like Mor just came to get into Nesta's business. She taunted her 'quietly' because she didn't want Cassian hearing.

No amusement lit Morrigan’s face as she shifted her attention down to Nesta. “Why aren’t you out there?” “I’m taking a break. Morrigan’s gaze swept over Nesta’s face, noting the lack of sweat or flushed skin, the hair barely out of place. The female said quietly, “My vote would have been to dump you right back in the human lands, you know.” (ACOSF, Ch. 6)

The human lands, where Nesta would have to live in hiding at risk of human prejudice and violence. How is anything Nesta did deserving of that? An abrasive personality and having bad coping mechanisms for PTSD deserves living in danger 24/7? 

Dark fire simmered in Morrigan’s eyes. “I knew plenty of people like you once.” Her hand drifted to her abdomen. “You never deserve the benefit of the doubt that good people like him give you.” (ACOSF, Ch. 6)

Again, this is wild projection. It's an unkind take on someone who is suffering from depression and does not want to have her life completely controlled.

Something to notice, is that the times Nesta lashed out in ACOMAF and onward were mostly in reaction to the IC crossing her boundaries. In reality, Nesta wasn't as bad as Mor made her out to be. She was essential to the war effort, helped in every aspect (diplomacy, strategy, battle, in the camps) because she actually does care about people – but Mor gave her no credit for it. 

When Cassian approached them, we learned that Mor, who winnowed him and Nesta, had come early. 

Cassian had reached them, breathless and gleaming with sweat. “You’re early.” “I wanted to see how things were coming along.” Morrigan pulled her burning gaze from Nesta. “Seems like today was a slow start.” (ACOSF, Ch. 6)

So she did just come to be in Nesta's business and make spiteful comments. Some mean girl energy there. Ironic when certain readers say Mor disliked Nesta for being that way.

Mor did end up coming around to being nicer to Nesta, though. We weren't given her reasoning over it, but I'm positive it was because of Nesta encouraging the priestesses to come out of their shells and train to be Valkyries. In my opinion, Mor realized she had been harsh on Nesta and that calmed her down. Also, I think the IC having Nesta distract Eris made Mor feel sympathy, probably seeing how similiar they actually were and all that. So Mor stopped coming between Cassian and Nesta, and secretly taught him to dance so he could surprise Nesta.

Some readers question if Nesta would have been receptive to Mor even if she had been welcoming. An example to look to is Azriel and Nesta – they were perfectly fine because he minded his own business concerning the Archeron sisters and Cassian's possible relationship with Nesta. Nesta was even friends with Amren until they had their falling out, which only happened because Nesta didn't want to train her powers.

So that's one relationship with a person Mor was disinclined to like based on her friends. Let's look at others, who are outside Mor's circle in Velaris — in the Hewn City.

“As my Third, Mor is my … court overseer. She looks after the dynamics between the Court of Nightmares and the Court of Dreams, and runs both Velaris and the Hewn City. I suppose in the mortal realm, she might be considered a queen.” (ACOMAF, Ch. 18)

Mor has a direct hand in running the Hewn City, but she barely goes. Her experiences of having been from there understandably traumatized her. Even just the thought of a pending IC trip distresses her.

But she’d left after dinner, pale-faced and jumpy, ignoring Cassian’s attempt to speak with her.

“Why did Mor look so disturbed [...] ?” ( ACOMAF, Ch. 41)

Yet Mor having trauma doesn't make her think of what other daughters of the HC have gone through and are still being subjected to by male relatives or even Keir himself.

Keir paused at the threshold as the doors opened on a phantom wind. He said to Rhys, perhaps the closest he’d come to asking for permission to leave, “Lord Thanatos is having … difficulties with his daughter again. He requires my assistance.” Rhys only waved a hand, as if he hadn’t just yielded our city to the male.

After Rhys' deal with Keir to let HC folk into Velaris, all Mor cared about was Keir.

She waved a hand to the town house, the city. “This is my home, and you are going to let Keir destroy it.”

“I took precautions,” Rhys said—an edge to his voice I had not heard in some time. “Many of them. Starting with meeting with the governors of the Palaces and getting them to agree never to serve, shelter, or entertain Keir or anyone from the Court of Nightmares.”

“They have been sending out the word to every business owner in the city,” Rhys went on, “every restaurant and shop and venue. So Keir and his ilk may come here … But they will not find it a welcoming place. Or one where they can even procure lodgings.”

(ACOWAR, Ch. 27)

There was no thought from Mor about all the innocents who could benefit from being outside the HC, who should be able to have time not being trapped inside a mountain with their abusive relatives and Keir.

Some readers say Mor's actions against Nesta are about having principles, about defending Feyre from an abusive relative—but Mor never does that for anyone else.