Quotes (from me): "I really don't think you should be surprised about him being suicidal given that both you and RuPaul just saw him attempt like two minutes ago. It was also written pretty well, I should take notes."

"Until he- until HE has HER babies?? HE'S GETTING MPREGGED??"

"Wait- hold on... can RuPaul see this?"

"Well. Yeah, he is still dating your cousin. Still doesn't tell me if RuPaul can see this. Are you both still naked?"

"Fanfic author, as much as I love and appreciate you, I already know the suicide and crisis hotline number."

"It would be kind of awkward to break up with Addison. Imagine being like, 'Hey, I know you ended racism or whatever, but I'm in love with your cousin.' And then you have to reveal you've been fucking her cousin for, like, three years, and also talked him down from killing himself and just never mentioned it."

"Yeah, yeah, RuPaul is mentioned again. Stop talking about RuPaul's thrusters."

"Frottage jumpscare! Wait, was that actually tagged... no! Frottage jumpscare!"

"Damn okay so he was only suicidal for the last fic or..??"

"WILLA KNOWS HE'S GAY FOR HIS COUSINS BOYFRIEND??"

"Holy shit gay people are real...?"

"Eugh, no, I'm cringing, stop projecting on her..." (mockingly) "'Girl, you never...' shut up FA- oh well he might actually kill himself if someone calls him that so."

"Oh holy shit he can top, that's crazy. I didn't even... like register that was an option. Congratudolences or whatever idk"

"Holy fucking shit they fucked in Addison's bedroom. I mean. They are in her house. But you fucked in her bed. You. You fucked your cousins boyfriend in her bed."

"Yay! He hates himself again!! Bring that era back can he attempt again PLEASE"

"HE'S GONNA COME OUT OF THE CLOSET IN THIS ONE?? ADDISON/ZED ISNT WRITTEN AS A SHIP BUT ADDISON IS TAGGED?? HAPPY ENDING?? oh wait that says hopeful ending not happy ending mb"

(anticipation in voice) "He. 'Another reason, at least, not to walk off that ledge'? Is he still suicidal? Please?"

"Holy fucking shit, he finally broke up with her. Thank every fucking god, he's not cheating on her with her cousin anymore."

"I love how he's referring to the kids he coaches as /his/ kids..." (brief pause) "...was that the fucking Hells Kitchen sound effect on my television what the hell..."

"Holy fuck, he's happy. Like, really, genuinely happy. I'm kinda proud, y'know, I watched him grow up from being like, two years older than me to being a full grown adult, he's like my son now or whatever."

"God, finishing this story is finally making me sleepy..."

"Oh hey, yeah, I read the fic where that happened. It was the first one. I didn't even realize he was always sort of 'kill me now please' even then, lol"

"Eke..? He could eke it..? Eeke..?"

"I forgot he was in a skirt... I think it was cute, the way that was introduced, him letting his kids wear whatever uniform they want, because it was what he wanted when he was in high school, but he was too afraid to stand out. Now, it looks messy, but everyone is happy. Everyone is happy."