✧ — 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐚 — ✧

he probably wouldn't know that he was making you jealous

thoma has a very particular manner of speech that's both professional and flirty.. does that make sense?

like, none of us felt scolded when he forced us to pay attention during his housekeeping class, did we? no, we didn't.

his stern side is just as attractive as his playful side, making thoma a bit of a hot topic amongst the single people of narukami island

unfortunately for you, that means you have to make it known from time to time that he is not, in fact, a single man

and even more unfortunate for you, whenever you accompanied him on his errands through the city, you have to sit in silence whenever you see the people he's talking to get flustered by him

you know it's not necessarily his fault -- he's eye-catching, so it's only natural that people would be attracted to him

but sometimes, it kinda feels like he uses that to his advantage without thinking

(he does it on purpose, actually.)

like i said, he doesn't count it to be flirting -- really, he doesn't -- but when you see him wink at the textile shop owner, you suddenly doubt that.

"c'mon mio; help me out just this once, yeah?" thoma pleads with the shop owner.

thoma was sent to the city by ayaka to pick up some new fabrics and you decided to tag along. he was all too happy to take you with him. honestly, only thoma would consider errand running to be a cute date idea. you couldn't knock him for it, though; he was so quick to lace your fingers with his as soon as you stood by his side, and you were always a sucker for your boyfriend.

although, as you watch him try to bargain with ogura mio, you wonder if you're in too deep.

for some strange reason, mio decided to raise her prices last minute. it shocked thoma a lot, mostly because she was known for her generosity towards the kamisato clan. you watched thoma turn on the charm after a few minutes of failing to change her mind, and you saw his tactic start to take effect almost immediately.

"i'm sorry thoma, but i'm losing profit, and i have no choice but to ask for more from my customers, few as they may be." mio reasons.

thoma sighs and thinks for a moment. you'd help him figure this out, but you're distracted by the way his hand is starting to feel foreign in yours. "how about this," thoma shifts his weight onto his other leg, "it sounds like you're losing profit because of a lack of customers. why don't you give me the fabric so we can have miss ayaka promote it for you? sound like a plan?"

you know something’s wrong when you see mio's cheeks begin to match the color of her hair. what could she possibly be blushing for? all thoma did was give a reasonable suggestion, no? the silence drags on and you finally glance at thoma in question...

only to see him winking at mio with his most charming smile.

is he serious? you're literally standing right here.

you drop his hand after a few more seconds, muttering an excuse about wanting to look around. you silently hope thoma notices that something’s off, but he doesn't; he hums in acknowledgement and continues negotiating with the flustered textile shop owner.

now, another thing about thoma: he's very observant. especially when it comes to you

but when it comes to himself, not so much

you try to reason with yourself that this is normal -- that he's just being ni

this is how he always is with everyone, right? even you!

...for some reason, that makes your stomach drop even more. you feel sick.

does he... really treat you no different from everyone else?

you begin to spiral in your own head, fully unaware that you've come to a complete stop

large hands suddenly cover your eyes, making you jump. "guess who?"

it's thoma, obviously. normally, you'd play along, give a couple wrong answers just to see him pout, but right now, you're trying to convince yourself that he doesn't do this with others. by the time you open your mouth to give an answer, thoma's already uncovered your eyes and made his way in front of you, his eyebrows drawn in.

"are you feeling okay?" he asks. "you sorta threw my hand down earlier." he presses the back of his hand to your forehead. your heart pounds in your chest but you hold your breath in an attempt to get it to stop.

you hadn't realized you were so abrupt with him earlier. you give up on trying to talk yourself out of this jealous hole you've dug yourself into. knowing thoma, if you lied about being okay, he'd definitely press you about it later, so you throw your apprehension to the wind.

"do i mean anything to you? at all?" you mutter a curse under your breath as soon as you finish your sentence. that's not at all what you meant to ask, but you couldn't deny that that's what's on your mind. did you mean anything to him?

thoma looks taken aback by your question and pulls you to a less crowded area. "what are you talking about?" he cups your face and you swear he's trying to search your soul with those green eyes of his. "you mean everything to me. everything and more. where is this coming from? did someone tell you something?"

from the bottom of your heart, you know he means that. you twist the promise ring on your right hand. you wouldn't have this if thoma didn't love you -- he wouldn't have promised himself to you during yoimiya's firework show if he didn't love you. but the little green demon on your shoulder whispers thoughts of jealousy into your ear, and it's too difficult to ignore it.

you avert your eyes. "you're a friendly guy, thoma." you start. "i get that. but you're... too friendly sometimes. i just--" your breath hitches. no tears, you tell yourself. "it looked like you were flirting with mio, okay? it looks that way with a lot of people, and i feel like you treat me the same as everyone else."

you exhale heavily as soon as the words are out. it felt nice, letting all of that off your chest. had you kept that to yourself, you think your relationship would have taken a turn for the worse.

thoma's hands don't leave your face. he pulls you in and kisses you so sweetly, you think you see stars. embarrassed, you put your hands on his chest and push yourself away, your face burning. "thoma, we're in public!" you hiss. "why would you--"

"i'm sorry," he says. when he catches you not looking at him, he tilts your head towards him so you are. thoma's always valued sincerity, and one of the ways he shows it is by making intense eye contact. "really, i am. i'm so sorry; i didn't realize i was making you feel that way." you look away shyly, and thoma taps your chin twice, forcing you to look back at him. "is there anything i can do to fix it?"

the little jealousy demon seems to evaporate as he speaks. he's so genuine and attentive; you have no doubt that he'd change if you asked him to. the archons may have blessed you with a vision, but you smile when you realize that that's not the only thing they've blessed you with.

you shake your head. "i don't want you to change your personality for me, thoma." you seriously don't. thoma is defined by his dutiful behavior and his generosity -- if he switched it up, people would surely notice. "i was just-- um." your cheeks begin to flare again. you know you were jealous, but you don't want to say it out loud. "i just wanted to tell you how i felt. that's it."

"is that really it?" thoma says after a brief pause. surely, he's figured it out, because there's a knowing grin starting to split his face. "you were jealous, weren't you?"

you turn around. "okay, look, we talked about it, right? let's go back now."

behind you, thoma chuckles. "you totally were! you were jealous!" he teases, laughing harder when you turn back to glare at him. he takes your hand again and gently rubs the back of your hand with his thumb. "you're cute when you're jealous, you know that? you were pouting a second ago."

"please shut up."

thoma snorts. "alright, alright. but i promise, i'll be more careful, okay? don't you ever doubt your worth again. can you promise me that?"

how could you not, when he looks at you like that? you feel pride swell in your chest knowing that this look -- this look of pure adoration -- was reserved for you and you only.

you hum affirmatively. "i promise. thank you."

✧ — 𝐚𝐥𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐨 — ✧

goddamn pretty boys and their stupidly pretty faces, DAMMIT.

if you thought thoma was bad at not realizing when you were jealous, then you're in for a ride with albedo

albedo isn't socially inept, it's just that he's... a little slower on the uptake due to his lack of interest in social interaction

so he'll do things that may be considered intimate with people that aren't you, and while the person he's interacting with may be freaking out, he's just going about his business like everything is perfectly normal

the thing about sucrose and albedo's relationship is that it's strictly professional. anybody can see that.

you don't feel any kind of way about them working in close proximity because it's REALLY obvious that sucrose admires albedo's alchemical knowledge, and albedo cherishes sucrose as his lab partner, so to speak

but sucrose isn't as bad with people as albedo is, so whenever he does something a little odd, she'll hesitate to correct him

today, she takes far too long to do so.

the scene you walked in on was one straight out of a romance novel.

you'd decided to pay albedo a visit since you weren't working for the day. commissions were few and far between, so why wouldn't you want to spend time with your boyfriend? you packed a lunch for the two of you and walked to his lab in mondstadt; thankfully, he wasn't returning to dragonspine for another week or two.

but when you arrived, you saw sucrose pressed to albedo's chest. his arms were wrapped around her in a protective manner; one hand was on the back of her head, pressing it to his shoulder while his other arm was wrapped around her waist.

"are you alright?" albedo asks softly. "that was very dangerous."

sucrose's shoulders are rising and falling quickly. was she scared of something? "yes, i-i... thank you, mister albedo, i--"

"uh..." the noise comes out of your mouth before you can stop it. you couldn't comprehend what you were seeing; your brain launched into analytical mode so quickly that you went blank. the alchemists both look your way and sucrose all but leaps out of albedo's arms, her face nearly vermillion.

"i-it's not what it looks like!" she stammers, adjusting her glasses on her face.

well, duh, you think. you caught sight of the shattered beakers on the ground behind sucrose. whatever substance they were holding was sizzling on the ground. it's incredibly obvious that albedo pulled her out the way to avoid severe injury. accidents like this were fairly common -- this was normal.

but, another part of you starts to wonder, how long were they like that? why did sucrose only pull away when you made your presence known? you quickly try your best to stamp out the ugly feeling rising in your throat and offer sucrose an understanding smile. "what're you telling me that for? i heard the shatter from outside." you're lying. "i'm glad you're alright, sucrose. you're lucky albedo has quick reflexes."

too quick, something inside you hisses. you clench your jaw.

sucrose looks relieved by your understanding. "th-thank you..." she spots the lunch in your hand. "oh, is it that time already? mister albedo, i'm going to take my lunch break; is that alright?"

albedo, who'd been silent this whole time, nods curtly. he's eyeing the glass on the ground with a frown. "go on, sucrose. take your time."

sucrose leaves in a hurry, leaving the two of you alone.

you don't say anything for a while. albedo moves to start cleaning up the mess and you seat yourself across the room while you try to sort your thoughts.

you'd lied -- rather boldly, actually -- about hearing the glass fall. you figured that if you said that out loud, you'd be able to trick yourself into thinking that the incident had just occurred. if that was the case, then that would mean they weren't locked in an embrace for too long. but another part of you -- a part that you've never had trouble keeping in check -- refuses to be fooled. it feeds you suggestions -- suggestions you hate.

sucrose took too long to move, it tells you. clearly, she was enjoying that. how often do you think she does that when you're not around? did you see how albedo was holding her? so tightly; like he cared about her.

of course he cares about her. he has to -- she's literally his work partner. you pinch your nose bridge as you try to reason with yourself. you're so absorbed in your thoughts that you don't hear albedo calling you until he raises his voice. "sorry? did you call me?" you ask, giving albedo the same fake smile you gave sucrose.

albedo doesn't look convinced. for someone who has trouble reading the comfort levels of other people, he always seems to know when you're not alright. teal eyes observe you closely. "something’s on your mind," he says.

"what? no, nothing's bothering me."

albedo makes a sound. "i never said that something was bothering you," he tilts his head to the side. "i said that something was on your mind. so, something is bothering you, then?"

damn. you thought he wouldn't notice that. hell, you didn't even notice. "how'd you know something was on my mind?"

"well," albedo makes his way over to you, "i'd been calling your name for the past... five minutes, i believe. you usually respond right away."

that makes your face burn for some reason. albedo continues.

"that, and you didn't hug me when you saw me." he almost looks dejected when he says that, a small crease forming between his brows before it's gone, smoothed over by his usual expression. "you always show me lots of affection when you visit, but you've been here for over ten minutes, and i've received nothing. therefore, something must be wrong."

you're a little lost for words. you didn't think much of the whole hugging thing, and you're caught between being jealous and being endeared by the way albedo seems to be complaining about the lack of affection. you open your mouth to tease him, but quickly shut it. you should probably address what happened first, but how do you explain that you didn't want to hug him because you thought you'd be able to smell sucrose on him?

"is that so?" albedo says. his eyes widen by a fraction and you slap your hand over your mouth, your face going up in flames. you said that out loud!

"that's, uh..." you swallow back any excuses. there's no point in lying to him. if you don't bring things to albedo's attention, then it may as well be non-existent. you sigh and come clean. "this is... really stupid, but i just... didn't like seeing you and sucrose hugging. it made me feel--"

"jealous?" albedo finishes your sentence. you gape at him. how did he figure that out so quickly? you nod slowly, and albedo hums. "i see... do you think that sucrose has feelings for me?"

"what? no!" you shake your head quickly. "no, i know that there's nothing going on; i saw the beakers, i know you were just keeping her safe." your eyes drift to where the mess once was. "i don't know why i felt jealous, okay? but i did, and it felt terrible."

albedo soaks up your words like a sponge. you can always tell when he's internalizing something -- his eyes seem to lose their usual focus as the gears turn. it takes him a lot less time than you thought it would to understand this. "i'd read once that lovers experience jealousy," he muses. "it's a little interesting to be on the other end of it."

the other end? "have... have you been jealous before?" the words sound ridiculous coming out of your mouth, but albedo nods, unashamed.

"quite a few times, actually. i think the common link is the cavalry captain."

"what?!"

albedo -- sweet, innocent albedo -- frowns at your outburst. "did i say something perplexing?" he must really not know why you're shocked. "i do feel jealous whenever you're around captain kaeya; you two appear very close all the time, and he touches you a lot, so i... why are you laughing?"

you couldn't help it. albedo was so straightforward with you about everything. most people would take that kind of secret to their grave, but not your boyfriend. you double over with laughter. at least you weren't alone in your feelings. it's reassuring to know that it went both ways.

you wiped a tear from your eyes. "i'm not laughing at you, 'bedo, just," you giggle, "i felt stupid for thinking that way. you always know how to make me feel better."

albedo looks adorably confused. "i'm not sure i understand."

of course he doesn't. "don't worry about it." you smile and make your way over to him, planting a light kiss to his cheek. your smile only grows as you watch a faint blush dust his cheeks. "i love you, albedo."

albedo recovers from his moment and pulls you in by your waist. you melt into him with practiced ease and take a deep breath. you chortle to yourself; he doesn't smell like sucrose at all.

"and i, you." his reply is spoken so quietly, you almost miss it. his hold on you tightens a little. "i'd appreciate it if you'd keep hugging me when you arrive. i... i enjoy it a lot."

you struggle a bit to pull away since he's holding you so tightly, but once you do, you kiss his lips softly, relishing in the dusty pink that colors his face. "anything you want, 'bedo."

✧ — ❄ +🔥 — ✧

so i'm assuming you meant diluc and kaeya separately, buuuut... it's hard to put them separate when they are brother, though they behave otherwise

so let's say, for the sake of this post, you are their adopted younger sibling!

crepus took you in along with kaeya since you two were abandoned in the same place at the same time

however, you two were abandoned by completely different people, so no, you have no ties to khaenri'ah

(but, if you want smth that's like.. kaeya and the reader being sibling spies for khaenri'ah, i can make a whole 'nother post. i digress.)

as children...

you three were inseparable

kaeya and diluc bonded well to begin with, but with you added to the mixture, they may as well have been joined at the hip

diluc is the oldest amongst the three of you, and sort of gets saddled with caring for you and kaeya in subtle ways, even if crepus is present in your lives

he's kind of like the "leader" if that makes sense? he's fine with you and kaeya having opinions or dictating what activities you do for the day

but neither you nor kaeya can refuse diluc whenever he asks for something or makes a demand

(he will deny, as an adult, that he ever made demands as a boy. it's true that he didn't, but you and kaeya will sometimes tease him about it anyways.)

"kaeya, can you stop spinning them around like that? you two might break something and dad would have a heart attack if either of you got hurt." a young diluc peers over the top of his book at you and kaeya, who have been horsing around while he reads something about knighthood.

he's been taking his studies seriously these days in order to fulfill your father's dreams of becoming an esteemed knight of favonius. since crepus couldn't do it himself, diluc took it upon himself to do it in his stead. he's an overachiever in every sense of the word, and you thought he was the coolest brother in all of teyvat.

kaeya sets you down on the ground gently. "yes sir!" he salutes his brother, snickering when you copy his actions.

diluc snorts and rolls his eyes. "that's not even how the knights salute, kaeya. you'd know that if you studied more."

kaeya scrunches his nose. "hey, i take my studies very seriously, thank you very much. i just gotta make time for my siblings, unlike some people." he leans over and uses your head as an arm rest, not budging when you try to shake him off. "it's called time management, diluc. look it up."

your brothers bickered like this rather often, but there was never any bite to their words. you could always see them fighting back smiles as they went back and forth, trying to keep the upper hand on the other. a lot of the time, you were caught in the crossfire, be it physically or verbally. you didn't mind much, but sometimes they would get annoying.

you manage to shove kaeya's arm off your head. "for the record, neither of you are good at managing your time." you grumble. "diluc studies too much and kaeya studies too little."

"what, are you supposed to be goldilocks, then?" diluc closes his book, smirking at you. "are you supposed to be the perfect kid?"

you cross your arms over your chest. "well, duh. i studied for a little while today, and i'm playing with kaeya now. i'll study some more later. that's how you do it."

your brothers share a look of defeat and then turn their eyes back to you. kaeya ruffles your hair. "ah, our youngest is growing up so fast," he muses, "soon, they'll be the grand master of the knights and we'll have to follow their every command."

you sputter and try to push kaeya off of you again. when you fail, your struggling turns into an all-out wrestling match, with kaeya beating you in record time thanks to his longer limbs. "on second thought," your brother pants, "maybe i'd make a better grand master? what do you think, diluc?"

"sure, kaeya." diluc answers dismissively. "you'd be the greatest."

it's a respect thing, mostly.

never once has diluc lorded his title as eldest over the two of you, so you and kaeya came to respect and love him naturally.

diluc takes after crepus in more than just appearance.

even as kids, he was mature and responsible, but still maintained his boyish behaviors whenever you or kaeya were involved.

he's the older brother you ran to during stormy nights, since you knew for a fact that he would be awake anyways.

he's the older brother you went to for silent comfort

if you had a nightmare, diluc was the brother you went to.

(kaeya can pout about it all he wants.)

if you wanted to cry, diluc was the brother who would hug you silently until you've let it all out. he won't ask questions or push you for answers; he'll just sit there and be your rock.

i suppose in a literal sense, he's the warmth of your childhood. diluc is the sturdy, resilient, ever-burning flame that you use for comfort in times of need.

also, don't tell anyone, but diluc was definitely a hugger. a HUGE teddy bear.

kaeya was definitely the more tactile sibling

but if you denied diluc a hug or went to kaeya instead of him, he'd get all mopey and then deny it until you cuddled with him.

"you were pouting earlier."

"i don't pout. can you get out my room?"

you giggle. "i came to give you a hug, since i didn't give you one earlier."

diluc sits up with a groan, his hair wild. "is that why you're here at..." he peeks at the clock on the wall. "two in the morning?"

he sounds exhausted, but you can tell he's not going to reject you. he never does. you don't say anything -- you just stand there and wait for diluc to ask for what he clearly wants.

"you're gonna make me say it, aren't you?"

you nod.

diluc sighs and scoots over in his bed. "get over here, you brat. i'm sleepy." when you climb in beside him, he tosses the comforter over you and hugs you close. he smells like cinnamon and you sigh contently. "can't believe you woke me up for this." he grumbles.

you snicker. "love you too, 'luc."

"whatever."

as the resident middle child, kaeya took it upon himself to balance being a big brother and a little brother all at once

i know it may sound easy to people without siblings, and maybe even some actual middle children may say that it's not that hard

but middle child syndrome is very real, and when you step back and think about it, it's really hard when you're kind of overshadowed by your older and younger siblings.

he doesn't feel any sort of negative way about it, but kaeya is a smart boy -- he knows that he put himself in a difficult position by behaving the way he does

he babies you, even though the age gap between you two isn't very large.

kaeya is the older brother who seeks you out instead of the other way around.

and for some reason he never makes noise when he moves?

(is it related to his mission? find out next time on the next episode dragon ball z)

it's something he LOVES using to his advantage, by the way.

"shit!"

kaeya makes an accusatory noise. "what would father say if he heard you say something like that?" he leans on the doorway, a playful smirk on his lips. "did i really scare you that badly?"

you clutch at your chest in an attempt to slow your racing heart. "would it kill you to make a little noise when you move? for barbatos' sake, i could have died just now."

kaeya's expression falters for a moment, but he glosses it over so quickly, you think you may have seen incorrectly. "dramatic as always. anyways," he extends a hand out for you to take, "our dearest older brother is heading into the city and wants us to come with."

"it's not a request, is it," you ask, taking your brother's hand. you roll your eyes when kaeya tells you that no, diluc actually did ask. but because neither you nor kaeya can say no to him, you two were already going along. "figured as much." you sigh.

i'd like to think that by the time kaeya was in his late teens, he had adopted a particular manner of speech

specifically, the one he uses as an adult

it's corny to you, but you secretly think it makes him even cooler than he already is

because kaeya is exactly the kind of cool protagonist-like boy you read about in stories

he's always had his eye covered ever since you two met, and he's always carried himself with grace

now that you're an adult who knows of his past, it makes sense

but little you just wanted to be like their big brother

and honestly, kaeya did what he could to mold you in his image

not to say he told you his secrets, but whenever he saw his habits in you, it made his heart break and swell at the same time

truly, the most painful parts of his childhood was realizing how much he loved you and diluc

"...why are you wearing an eyepatch?" diluc raises a brow at you. "is there a secret costume party in the mansion that i don't know about or something?"

just as you're about to explain why you're wearing it, kaeya comes stumbling into the room, his hand covering his right eye. "there you are!" he yells.

diluc snorts so loud he has to cover his mouth. so that's why you had an eyepatch on -- you took it from kaeya. from the frantic look in his eye, diluc thinks you may have just taken it off of kaeya in his sleep or something.

you shriek and duck behind diluc, who's failing at masking his laughter. "don't hurt me!" you yell from behind your brother. "i just thought it looked cool!"

kaeya growls. "then you should have just asked to try it on, you dirty thief! who takes shit off someone's face like that?!"

diluc actually barks out a laugh and kaeya fixes him with a glare capable of freezing over anything. "sorry, sorry." he tries to apologize as he makes a face in an attempt to school his expression. "it's not funny, i'm sorry."

"you're still smiling." kaeya deadpans.

"to be fair," diluc snickers, "you've got sticky fingers as well."

it's true; kaeya definitely has a habit of taking the belongings of others -- yours in particular, actually -- and hiding them in the most absurd places. he must have never thought someone would return the favor like this. he sighs, the fight and frustration leaving him.

now that he's looking at you from behind diluc, kaeya can't help but feel proud of the fact that you're acting like him. it was an amateur heist on your part, but with some more practice, you could be just like him someday. he sighs fondly at the thought of it.

"fine, you got me." he concedes. "but can you give it back now? i kinda need that."

kaeya will forever be grateful to have you and diluc as siblings, because even though you were all young and curious, neither of you asked why he wore an eyepatch -- or at the very least why he worked so hard to keep it hidden from view. you step out from behind diluc, the cloth still over your eye, and kaeya feels his heart stop for just a moment. he loves you so dearly, his precious little sibling, but...

remember your purpose, something hisses at him. don't get too attached.

it's too late for that, he thinks. kaeya hold out his other hand, thanking you when you place the eyepatch in his hand. "don't do that again, yeah?" he says softly.

surprisingly, kaeya's gentle tone makes you feel scolded -- mostly because he doesn't speak like that often. you duck your head and murmur an apology.

"hey." kaeya flicks your forehead. he's wearing his eyepatch again, and that warm, brotherly smile that makes you feel safe. "it's okay. i'm not mad at you; never have been, never will be. it's okay."

you nod shyly. if kaeya says it's okay, you think, then surely, everything will be as he says.

to you, kaeya was the brother that helped you with everything

for example:

while diluc helped you master your swordsmanship, it was kaeya who taught you the basics

from stances to defensive maneuvers, kaeya covered everything

he even taught you the basics of other weapons as well -- somehow he was adept with all of them, and he didn't hesitate to share his knowledge with you

it's kaeya who uses you as an arm rest and uses his height to keep things away from you

it's kaeya who steals from your plate when you aren't looking

it's kaeya who teaches you how to swear

but it's also kaeya who stays up all night whenever you say you feel unsafe

it's kaeya who doesn't judge you when you ask him to check under your bed or in your closet for intruders or hilichurls

it's kaeya who shares everything with you and diluc

it's kaeya who helps you catch and bottle crystalflies in the vineyard during sleepless nights.

it's kaeya who braids crystalflies into your hair, and let's you do the same to his as gets longer.

(it's also kaeya who manages to rope diluc into these crystalfly braiding sessions.)

it's kaeya who comes to you when he's having a bad day -- kaeya who asks you to just hold his hand and say nothing while he calms down

"having another moment?" you ask quietly. you were in the middle of painting something for adelinde's birthday when kaeya suddenly walked in and sat beside you, dropping his head on your shoulder.

you never knew what it was that tormented him so much. you hated whatever it was that turned your brother into a shadow of himself, but no matter how much you wanted to fix all of his problems, you couldn't. kaeya wouldn't talk about it, and you knew better than to pry.

so, you did what you could.

kaeya nods silently. you can feel him shaking ever so slightly. you move to put the paintbrush down so you can hug him, but he shakes his head.

"don't mind me," he chuckles despite himself. he sounds fine, but you know better. he takes your free hand in his, tangling your fingers together. "do what you're doing. i'll be fine soon."

every time. every single time kaeya has his moments, he pretends like it's nothing or like it's bothering someone. you have to swallow back the comforting words.

kaeya's always preferred physical comfort, anyhow.

you give his hand a light squeeze and keep painting. "remember the breathing exercise diluc taught you." you murmur. when you feel kaeya nod again, you hum.

your brother dozes off on your shoulder after half an hour. at least he's calm for now. you glance down at your fingers.

even in his sleep, his grip is still tight.

so... what changed?

you all know what happened the day crepus died.

if you don't, allow me to paraphrase:

when your father died, your brothers' respective personalities took a hard left.

diluc, having watched crepus' life come to an end right before his eyes, became vengeful after the knights of favonius instructed him to hide the truth.

as for kaeya, it was as if all of the traits that you admired so much in him became amplified in all the wrong ways.

you always knew he was keeping a part of himself locked away, but you didn't realize just how much until he came clean about it.

and you... well.

kaeya and diluc weren't the only ones to receive their visions that night.

but, for the sake of brevity (and accuracy), allow me to share some of kaeya's lore with you:

and this is verbatim, mind you.

"if khaenri'ah and mondstadt went to war, which side should he support? to whom should he offer his assistance: his birth father, who had ruthlessly abandoned him? or his adoptive father, who loved him and raised him?

"for the longest time, kaeya had agonized over these impossible questions, caught between the opposing demands of loyalty and duty, faced with an impossible choice between truth and happiness.

"but now, crepus' death upset this delicate balance. he felt liberated, but also ashamed of how selfishly he was responding.

"as an adopted son, he should have saved crepus, but he had arrived moments too late. as a brother, he should have shared in diluc's grief, and yet as their father lay dying on the ground he had hung back behind his brother, that ancient plot running through his mind."

- kaeya's vision lore.

so where do you fit into all of this?

you were somewhat like kaeya -- a child ruthlessly abandoned by their parents during a stormy night to fend for themself

unlike your brother however, you had no internal strife. you had no attachment to a destroyed nation -- no questions of loyalty to follow through your adolescent years into early adulthood.

you were just... you. another grieving child of the ragnvindr family.

but because you weren't like kaeya -- because all you knew was the dawn winery, diluc, kaeya, and crepus -- it might have been you who felt the fight between your brothers the most

you shouldered most of the pain from their separation, probably even more so than your brothers would ever admit out loud

because they were your only family. you may have been too young to understand the concept of abandonment when it happened, but as you grew older, the fear only grew with you

you fought so hard to keep your brothers and father close to you -- to keep your family intact

what you fear most isn't hilichurls or abyss mages or even the fatui

it's abandonment.

i'm sure you've asked this at some point, but what does the title of this request even mean?

autophobia (n.) - the fear of being alone.

your knowledge of khaenri'ah isn't very expansive.

all you know of the fallen nation is what's been taught to you through history books, but even then, there wasn't much to cover. as kaeya speaks, you try to remember all that you could from your history lessons as quickly as you can.

khaenri'ah, as you recall, was godless nation. not because they were abandoned by one, but because they had no need for one. the nation was thrown into ruin by monsters and gods alike, and as far as you knew, there was nothing left of it.

so, at first, you reach out to kaeya to comfort him for his loss. he's lost so much in his life, hasn't he? but as you're reaching for his arm, he jerks away from you, regret and shame pooling in his eyes. "kaeya..?" you whisper brokenly.

your brother's expression is pained as he tells his story to you and diluc.

none of it makes sense to you. you can't seem to wrap your head around the idea that your brother was sent to destroy mondstadt from the inside out. he would never do that -- he couldn't. as tough as he seemed, kaeya was just a big ball of fluff on the inside. the boy you grew up with wasn't capable of being a--

"traitor." diluc's voice is hoarse and low, coming out as a growl. you snap your eyes over to your brother, glaring at him to shut him up, but he pays you no mind. he looks furious enough to kill, and all three of you can feel the hostility that rolls off of him in waves.

kaeya doesn't help the situation as he opts to provoke diluc. gone is the remorse he once had written all over his face; in its place is a false sense of amusement. you'd think he was seriously enjoying diluc's anger if you didn't know him any better. kaeya shrugs nonchalantly. "if that's what you wanna call me, so be it." he says.

diluc's hackles rise and you instinctively place yourself between your brothers. "you lied to us," he seethes, "for decades, you've been lying! to me, to our family, to-- to mondstadt!"

kaeya has the gall to chuckle. you feel diluc surge forward, but you force him back. "honestly," he tsks, "our poor father is dead and that's what's got you upset? you really do take your job as cavalry captain seriously, don't you?"

you feel your jaw drop. this entire time, you've been trying to convince yourself that this conversation wasn't actually happening -- that kaeya was just playing a really poorly timed joke to lift your spirits. but the longer it goes on and the angrier diluc gets, the more it sinks in that this... this isn't a joke.

your father wasn't the only one to die that stormy night.

diluc shoves you to the side seemingly with all his strength as he lunges for kaeya, his weapon materializing his hands. you crash into the wall hard, but when you groan, disoriented by the impact, neither of your brothers stop to help you. you're strong enough to handle pain like that on your own, but kaeya and diluc vowed to never harm you -- or each other -- on purpose many years ago.

you're forced to watch as the vow dissolves into nothingness as diluc stabs the floor where kaeya had fallen.

"is that the best you've got, captain?!" kaeya taunts. he's light on his feet and his eyepatch is missing, allowing you and diluc to see what he's been hiding since he was a boy. his right eye glows an ethereal shade of yellow in the dim lighting of the hallway. he looks unhinged and hysterical, a wild, carefree grin marring his once gentle features. "you won't be able to stop me like that!"

"stop it!" you scream. "please, don't do this!" the words come out so loud, they manage to rip your throat raw in an instant. your brothers pay you no mind as they mercilessly attack each other; if someone didn't know they were brothers, they'd think they were fighting to the death. belatedly, you realize that they are.

"we took you in," diluc shouts as he parries kaeya's blade, "fed you, cared for you, loved you, only for you to stab us in the back?!"

"to be fair," kaeya grunts in response, "i haven't stabbed you in the back just yet. stay still, though, and i will."

you watch helplessly from the side as your family crumbles before your eyes. you give up on trying to stop your brothers. in terms of strength, they've got you beat; if you were to try to insert yourself in this battle, they'd likely do more than just injure you. the very thought of them accidentally killing you instead of each other makes you gag.

your childhood shatters with every clash of the swords that you hear. with every clang, another part of your relationships dies. all at once, your lungs stop functioning. you can't breathe -- it's as though someone is stepping on your chest with no intent of letting up. your stomach is about ready to rid itself of its contents as one thought becomes clear.

you're going to be left all alone again. left to fend for yourself in the same storm you were abandoned in all those years ago.

suddenly, a searing heat and a biting chill overtakes your senses, forcing you to take a deep breath. the shock of the temperature change makes you look back at kaeya and diluc, whose weapons are now encased in cryo and pyro elemental energies respectively.

you're struck with a sinking feeling of dread as their swords press against each other with diluc's flaming claymore starting to overtake kaeya's broadsword. kaeya's fingers are slowly being frosted over as his elemental energy spirals out of control, and you see diluc's hands starting to blister and peel with the heat of his pyro.

at this rate, they're likely going to kill themselves.

you're on your feet and holding your own weapon before you can even stop and contemplate the consequences. you understand that diluc and kaeya have you beat in terms of strength.

but your strength, however, comes from your speed.

your brothers are blown off their feet in opposite directions with the force of your slash. the three of you remain motionless for a moment, each of you panting with exertion and emotion. you stare down at your trembling hands, amazed by the power you had, and nearly faint at the sight of an anemo vision resting comfortably in your palm.

you'll process this later, you decide. right now, your brothers were more important.

"enough!" you cry. "that's fucking enough!"

diluc scowls at you, but it's weak. he must be exhausted from having burnt out so much energy so quickly due to the vision activating on its own. "you heard that asshole," he growls at you. "he would've killed us all a long time ago! and now you're stopping me from killing him?"

"the cavalry captain of the knights of favonius doesn't kill people, diluc." your words are punctuated by embarrassing sobs, but you don't care. "especially not their siblings. can we just--"

diluc spits out some blood, interrupting you. "if you're going to stand here and preach to me the value of a family that no longer exists," he pushes himself to his feet with the help of his weapon, "then we're done here."

"diluc fucking ragnvindr, don't you dare walk away from this." you try to threaten him, but it doesn't work. diluc starts walking and you swing your sword in his direction, leaving a clean slice in the wall he was leaving on. your anemo energy is unstable and volatile, but you have enough control over it to use it at will. you hate that that is what gets your brother to stop and listen to you.

"look," you pant, "we're all hurt in more ways than one. c-can we just... i don't know... try to heal together? please, i-- diluc, you never explained what happened to father, a-and," you turn to kaeya with tears on your cheeks, "you were there. you never explained either! why?!"

for a second -- for just a split second -- you see the kaeya you grew up with. "i..." kaeya catches himself, ridding himself of any vulnerabilities. his face darkens, and your stomach twists at the sight of this stranger wearing your brother's face.

"i don't owe you any more explanations." he says. he jumps to his feet with ease, but it's obvious that he's in excruciating pain. "i told you everything you needed to know. do with that information what you will." kaeya's voice is so distant.

on the other side of the hallway, diluc glares murderous daggers at kaeya. "i'll handle you someday. mark my fucking words."

you don't think you can take much more of this. "diluc," you try, "we're siblings! could you just--"

"i have no siblings."

you go completely still. every part of your body halts and stumbles as it tries to start again. you let your weapon dissolve as your lips begin to tremble. "w-what?"

"are you deaf?" diluc's crimson eyes burn right through you. this isn't the man you grew up with. you're not sure who you're looking at. "i said i have no siblings." he groans as he stumbles away. "whatever. i need to prepare for my father's funeral."

you don't put up a fight as you watch diluc hobble away. you turn to kaeya, still unsure if you heard correctly. maybe you were so overloaded that you were having auditory hallucinations. "k-kaeya," you stammer desperately. you don't even know what to say to him. "please."

the last glimmer of hope is extinguished as kaeya turns on his heel and walks away without a word.

for the second time in your life, you are abandoned.

this time, though, you know you will never forget it.

so... what happened? what now?

diluc buried himself in work and set off to travel the nations in search of answers for crepus' death

and a few years after that... well, we all know the tale of mondstadt's beloved "darknight hero".

you ran away from home about two days after the fight, joining the adventurer's guild and wandering the nations at a leisurely pace

which meant that diluc had the dawn winery to himself.

kaeya went on to become cavalry captain of the knights of favonius. diluc never did rat him out.

he's notorious for his reckless, yet clever and cunning behavior, his charm, and his super high alcohol tolerance

you make a point to avoid the city of mondstadt at all costs. there's no point.

there's nothing there for you anyways.

but the story doesn't exactly end there.

things don't get better as the years go by, but your brothers do mature.

they're... cordial with each other. sort of. enough so that they can hold conversations with each other, even if they do escalate into super passive aggressive arguments

they each hold enough regret to fill an ocean about the night you all separated.

kaeya is less conflicted about his choice between mondstadt and khaenri'ah, but he wishes he chose a better time to say it all.

he regrets brushing you off when you tried to unify them when you needed each other the most.

diluc lies awake at night thinking about how crushed you looked when he denied having siblings at all. your face haunts him well into his adult years.

he wishes he had listened to you -- if only he just listened.

as for you... you don't hate them.

at least you don't think you do. you haven't seen your...

you haven't seen kaeya or diluc in years. you don't know how you'll act if you ever come across them again.

you've mastered your vision and perfected a style of swordsmanship that you created based off of what kaeya and diluc taught you all those years ago

maybe someday, you'll be able to show them how much you've grown.

you wonder if they'll be proud of you the way they used to be.

will you ever see each other again?

inevitably, all roads lead back home.

after completing a difficult bounty in dragonspine, you make your way into the city of mondstadt for some much needed rest and relaxtion without much thought. it's a lot more... desolate than you remenber it to be. perhaps the quiet will do you some good; you just want to relax for a while, anyways.

after collecting your rewards and locating an inn to stay in during your time here, you decide to wander the streets. mondstadt is certainly less lively than you remember, but there are a few new and familiar faces that you come across during your stroll.

you run into aether, the blonde traveler who took a liking to you when you met in inazuma. he felt indebted fo you since you were the only person in inazuma who made a genuine effort to get him connected to the raiden shogun without trying to involve him in internal political affairs.

"not my home, not my business," you told him with a shrug. "the same goes for you. you're an outsider and people love to remind you of that, so use that to your advantage."

paimon tells you with a mouthful of food that aether started running into more trouble since he took your advice, but that he's stronger because of it.

"if you ever need my help again, you know you can commission me, right?" you nudge aether before you two part ways.

the traveler raises a brow at you. "are you asking me to pay to hang out with you?"

you whistle quietly. the aether you met in inazuma wasn't this brazen. you laugh, impressed. "i gotta make a living somehow." aether punches your shoulder lightly and you wince jokingly. "okay, okay! your presence is payment enough. happy?"

"extremely so." the traveler grins. you two part ways after that, with you laughing at paimon's enthusiastic waving. you continue your trip down memory lane as you walk the streets of mondstadt.

you come across amber, eula, and lisa, who you've met in passing before that day; you greet jean, who welcomes you with open arms; you even happen across albedo, who actually hesitates to speak to you.

you stayed with the chief alchemist for a few weeks up in dragonspine, basically helping him clear out any dangerous spots so he could conduct some research. during that time, you two grew quite close, and only three days before your departure did you two realize that there was something more than just snow in the air.

eventually, your trip ends at the angel's share. you're not much of a drinker, but something light wouldn't hurt, would it?

it would, you realize once you step inside. most of the patrons are off to the side, far away from the stools. but, there's a knight with long, blue hair sitting on the stool teasing the red-haired bartender on duty.

"welcome to the angel's share," the bartender sighs, seemingly on auto-pilot. "can i... oh."

"yeah. oh." you shoot back on impulse. too many years have passed for your biting tone to be interpreted as a joke, because both diluc and kaeya flinch.

what were you thinking, coming in here?! you knew you weren't a drinker, but you just had to pick now to try and start?

you weren't mentally prepared to look these two in the face -- not after what happened. you tried your hardest not to blame them, but no matter how many times you looked at it, they were in the wrong every time. bitterness grew old and sour deep inside you -- it was the main reason why you and albedo were stagnant at the moment; your fear of abandonment was too strong for you to commit to something like a relationship.

the chattering of the bar patrons continues in the background, but as the three of you stare at each other, it all seems to fade into silence.

"you're home," diluc speaks after a long pause. he's a lot bigger than you remember him. if you weren't so pissed at yourself, you'd tease him about when he was a scrawny boy. he looks almost relieved to see you -- did he think you were dead or something? "it's... been a long time."

you blink at him and hold your tongue. if you speak, you fear you may say something you regret.

"you're all grown up now." kaeya speaks next. you see the same regret start to swim in his blue eye, only this time, it's been amplified by time. he sounds so fond and proud -- he sounds like a brother. "i see you've got control of your vision."

you hiss internally. all three of you are in control of your visions. why did he feel the need to bring that up? and why did he sound like that? the time for praising one another has long since passed.

"are you two done pretending like you care?" you snap. diluc and kaeya wince, but don't answer. you march over to a table in the furthest corner of the bar and put your head on the wooden surface.

all the enegy you thought you had for the rest of the night pretty much bleeds right out of you after that. you don't have what it takes to face them, and you certainly don't have what it takes to walk anymore. you doze off, exhausted by your thoughts.

when you come to, you're in a familiar bed. the panic that rises doesn't last very long. you know exactly where you are, and you have a pretty good feeling you know who brought you here.

the sun is pouring through the floor-to-ceiling windows, filling your room with its light. judging by its height, you'd estimate that it's about midday. were you really that tired? you bury your face in your hands and groan loudly. if your hunch was correct and diluc and kaeya brought you here -- brought you home -- last night, then that meant they were planning on talking to you today.

either they were going to talk to you when you left the room, or they would come to you.

the latter ends up being true when you hear knuckles rap an old rhythm on your door. bitter as you may be, you can't help the smile that crosses your face. that was your code when you were kids. "what's the magic phrase?" you manage to say after a while.

kaeya's voice comes through the door. "would you believe me if i said i forgot?" he cracks it open and sticks his head inside. "it's been so many years, you can't blame me."

you shake your head fondly. "get your ass in here before you piss me off." kaeya slips through the door but doesn't close it. you raise a brow. "diluc, i know you're out there. weirdo."

your eldest brother pushes open the door and strides inside. neither of you speak for what feels like forever. the two of them have spoken to each other over the years, but with you back in the loop, they feel as though they're back where they started. you fix your eyes on your hands as you try to organize everything that's flooding your brain.

"i'm sorry." diluc finally says. he's sitting on one side of your bed and kaeya's sitting on the other, and both of them are looking at you with so much sincerity that it makes your chest tighten.

you narrow your eyes. "do you even remember what you're sorry for?"

diluc swallows thickly. "how could i forget? it's only been in my nightmares for about five years."

nightmares? you look away, suddenly ashamed by your callousness. "is that so." you mutter.

"i think it goes without saying that i'm sorry too," kaeya says next. "to both of you. i don't.. i don't think any of us would be in this position if it weren't for me."

neither you nor diluc answer right away because in a way, he's right. if kaeya had just waited a little longer, or delivered the news a little more delicately, things may have played out a little differently. you sigh through your nose.

"it's... not okay." you answer bluntly. you could never lie to them -- not then, not now. "it's never going to be okay."

"i understand." diluc nods stiffly, his voice tight. "truthfully, i don't know how to apologize properly. for years, i thought about how i'd reconcile with you two, but.. nothing ever came to mind."

"i wasn't finished." you level your brother with a glare. "it's never going to be okay, but... i don't mind talking to you guys." your brothers start to look hopeful for a second, but you shake your head. "it'll take a very long time to forgive you, and even longer to trust you again, assuming that i choose to do that at all."

kaeya reaches for your hand slowly, tapping his fingers on yours experimentally. when you don't pull away, he intertwines your fingers with his the way he used to when you were kids. a fresh, unwelcome set of tears rushes to your eyes. you hate it -- hate being so emotional after all this time, but...

sitting here before your brothers makes you feel like a kid again. you feel smothered by the amount of love you once received and gave them in return. you curl your fingers, tightening your grip on kaeya's hand. he's so much colder than you remember, but there's an unmistakable warm that's seeping through.

"i could never handle you crying," he chuckles shakily, reaching over to wipe the tears that escape. "especially if i was the one who made you cry."

diluc grabs your other hand. he doesn't say anything; when you look at him, you see that he's got his other hand covering his face. "i don't even know what to say to you." he says, his voice muffled. "you shouldn't even be giving me the time of day -- not after what i said."

you sniff. "you're right, i shouldn't. but," you squeeze his hand twice. "at the end of the day..."

at the end of the day, you were still siblings, whether diluc believed it or not. your experiences together were too real, too fresh in your mind, even now, to be fake.

"at the end of the day, we're family." you sigh.

you were going to need time -- a lot of time -- to heal and to forgive. it was going to be a slow, painful process as you try to heal a wound that's long since scarred over, but you were still willing to do it. you weren't going to let this final glimmer of hope slip away from you -- not again. and neither were your brothers. deep down, you still trusted and loved them, and they, you.

clinging to that faith, no matter how small, you decide to take the first step.

how would you even meet?

a fantastic question!

so, for Dramatic Plot Reasons, you are actually lumine's second travel partner, right? and you help keep her on track while she searches for answers for aether's whereabouts

like after the dvalin incident when lumine is asking venti questions and receiving vague answers, you are beside her, glaring daggers at the former archon in an effort to get him to talk.

"we didn't save your people just for you to be tight-lipped." you snarl. "this one-sided transaction shit won't fly."

lumine tugs on your arm as a warning and waves apologetically at venti. all of you just encountered la signora and watched as he was forcibly stripped of his gnosis -- of his divine status. venti is already a shadow of his usual self as it is, and your harsh words weren't helping.

"i-i'm sorry venti, ignore them." she apologizes on your behalf. lumine gives you a look of disbelief when you yank yourself out of her grip, but says nothing. "thank you for your information. it really helped."

"like hell it did." you mutter under your breath.

venti gives you a patient smile; the one he gives everyone when he's not in his usual playful mood. "their anger isn't misplaced, traveler," he hums, "i really am sorry that i only gave you more questions than answers, but i promise you: morax is the oldest of us all. he'll have the answers you need."

i think i'll cut that there, because i just want you to understand that at the beginning, you are lumine's backbone

you say what she's too kind to say

her desire to find aether consumes her every waking moment, but she just can't ignore people in need! so she can put her mission on the back burner for just a little longer, right?

wrong. you completely disagree.

you'll let her do what she needs to do when it's unrelated to your quest, but as soon as you're with someone who may possibly have answers, you put your foot down.

sometimes, lumine would joke that you want to find aether more than she does

you don't even know what he looks like. you just want lumine to be happy. she's your best friend

so where does aether come into all of this?

this is where we diverge from the plot.

you first encounter him on a late night walk through the forest.

you and lumine were camping out for the night after a very long day of running around with klee, jean, and albedo

you were feeling restless all day, but you couldn't figure out why

for some reason, for the past couple of days, you've been feeling... watched. you feel like there's someone watching you at every corner.

you're with lumine at almost every hour of the day, but even when you two are apart, you feel those eyes still on you

so you're strolling through the forest, trying to keep yourself sane when you stumble across a small hilichurl camp

it's nothing serious, just a few shooters and one big one with a shield

you easily handle the shieldwall mitachurl and the pyro and cryo shooters

but during your fight, you didn't hear the warning horn calling for backup.

you're dusting off your clothes to head back to camp when you hear something heavy slicing through the air behind you

it's an axe mitachurl

you react far too late to stop it, so you close your eyes and say a silent goodbye to lumine as you prepare for what you assume is the most painful death known to man..

but it never comes.

you crack open one eye to see what has so graciously allowed you to live another day only to find that it's not a what, but rather a who. the mitachurl from before is disintegrating on the ground behind the person's feet, so you open your eyes to get a better look at your savior.

it's a man with long, blonde hair, golden eyes, and peculiar clothing. something starts to click in the back of your head, like rocks sparking to make a fire. do you... know him?

rather than look at the faded body of the monster he just defeated, his eyes are fixed on you, his expression unreadable.

"um," you mumble, "thank you...?"

your savior raises an eyebrow. "are you trying to get me to tell you my name?" when you nod, he huffs a humorless laugh. "you'll figure it out soon enough. but, i will admit, i was under the impression that you were a lot stronger than this."

you blink a few times out of shock. was he insulting you? "pardon me? i just didn't hear the warning horn. it wouldn't have been the first time."

the blonde man turns around and walks away from you, and it's only then that you see the white and gold sword disappearing from his hand. "it would have been your last, had i not stepped in." he turns to face you again. "otherwise, i think lumine would have had to find your body herself."

lumine? he knows lumine? the sparks in your head ignite so quickly that you become dizzy.

"aether?" you say in a hushed whisper. you're far away from your campsite, but you say his name as though it were the most scandalous secret you've ever been told. "is that... are you aether?"

somewhere deep down, you hoped to celestia that you were wrong. you really did. but when aether's lips split into a solemn smile, you feel guilt and panic begin to twist your insides into knots. "y-you're here," you stammer. "i have to go tell lumine--!"

you start to run back but aether is swift, catching your wrist in an almost bruising grip. you whirl around to look at him thinking he would be furious with you, but instead, there's a forlorn look swimming in his eyes. your heart tugs; he looks just like lumine. there was really no doubting that they were twins.

"don't," he shakes his head and lets go of your wrist, "don't tell her that you've seen me."

"why? she's running herself ragged looking for you!" you feel sick to your stomach. he expects you to keep this a secret? this was why you were with lumine -- why you stuck by her side even in the worst of times. it was all for the sake of finding him. "you two could go home and be together again, but you're just... you're going to abandon her?"

aether's face darkens for a moment, but he seems to realize something before it levels out. "i'm... not abandoning her. it's just that there are some things she needs to do -- that i need to do -- before we can leave." he glances in the direction of your campsite; it's like he can sense lumine's presence. the white accents of his clothing and jewelry shine a little brighter as he speaks. "she needs to find her truth. i've already found mine."

you feel suffocated. there's so much going through your head -- so much wrong with this situation. you don't want to do as aether says, but you would be lying if you said you didn't feel power radiating off of him. it's the same kind that you felt from lumine, but aether's was so densely saturated -- so much stronger than his sister's. did he manage to get his old powers back, then? if you were to disobey him... what would he do to you?

aether's eyes flick back to you. "you're thinking that i'm going to hurt you." it's not a question. he knows.

you shake your head but it's useless. he's already picked up on it.

"i guess i'm not as... approachable as my sister." he chuckles to himself. he steps closer to you. "but i'm not going to hurt you. if i was, i would have let that mitachurl do you in."

"th-then what do you want from me?"

"your silence." aether hums. "and," he walks to a tree behind you, picks a windwheel aster from the ground and comes back to give it to you. "your attention."

he wants your attention? "if it's my attention you want," you reply, taking the flower from aether with shaky fingers, "then you already have it."

aether laughs again. he's been doing that a lot, you notice. is there something amusing about this? "i don't mean your attention in that way. in due time, however, i trust that you will understand what i mean."

"what?"

in the distance, you hear the howling of a wolf. the moon must be at its highest now. aether's eyes follow the noise before centering on you again. his gaze softens when he sees you tense under his stare. "it's very late. you should go back to bed." he says softly.

something about his tone makes your breathing become uneven. "what if i tell lumine?" you say. "i-i could tell her everything. i don't have to listen to you."

aether nods. "you're right, you're right. but," he steps away and makes his way deeper into the forest, "i trust you."

and just like that, he's gone, leaving you with the spinning petals of a windwheel aster in your fingertips and the smell of stardust in your lungs.

what then?

you don't tell lumine.

when you got back to camp that night, your best friend was awake and frantic, because she had no idea where you'd gone and because you didn't use your vision, she couldn't trace you with elemental sight

she was so afraid that you'd abandoned her too

you were in such a daze that you didn't know what to say, so lumine assumed that you ran into some terrible danger

it wasn't inaccurate, so you let her believe it

but you didn't tell her the truth.

after that, you begin to see aether more and more often.

mostly in passing, but you notice that he's actually trailing you two

but whenever he catches your eye, you notice that his eyes are locked on you and not his sister

you only talk to him at night, when the world has gone to sleep

aether reveals himself to you when you're alone and jerks you around with his cryptic speech and charming smile

every time, he tells you how much he trusts you, because you haven't told lumine of your nightly rendezvous with him

and every time, the guilt grows stronger.

partially because you're hiding such a big secret from your closest friend

but also because you know when you're falling in love.

what is loving the abyss prince like?

it's suffocating at first.

you shoulder the weight of the world by loving him as much as you do.

at first, you tried to convince yourself that it was hatred.

hatred for the man who forced you to be a liar

hatred for the man who gifted you flowers and exotic trinkets from the nations you hadn't visited yet

hatred for the man who embraced you like you were the most delicate being on the planet

because you came to yearn for his presence

nights when he didn't visit were the worst nights of your life

you almost had withdrawals whenever you couldn't see him

you tried your best to restrain yourself when you two would reunite after a while, but aether could always pick up on your neediness

you hated him, you tried to tell yourself

you hate him you hate him you hate him.

you don't know when that changed.

but you knew and he knew that neither of you were going to make it out of this strange relationship without heartbreak.

aether confesses to you on the peak of starsnatch cliff.

"to the people of mondstadt," he speaks to you over his shoulder as he plucks cecilias out of the ground, "people who confess their love here are fated to be together for eternity."

the very second those words leave his lips, your heart stops. it's a common thing whenever you're with aether. he makes your body do the weirdest things with the littlest behaviors. his words could stop your heart and his smile could make your mind melt. it was wrong -- it was so, so, so wrong -- but you couldn't stop it.

you try in vain to keep yourself calm. "why do you know that?" you ask. you're often blunt with the prince of the abyss. he's told you on multiple occasions that he finds it endearing, since most of his subjects wouldn't even dare look him in the eyes. you hear his tinkling laugh from behind you.

"just a bit of trivia for you." he says. he stands and heads over to you, sitting beside you on the grass with the little bouquet of cecelias in hand. their light fragrance carries on the breeze.

"i've always found mondstadt to be one of my favorite places in this world." aether muses. his eyes close and your fingers itch with the urge to touch his face. his eyelashes are as golden as his hair, long and beautiful. "nowhere else is as tranquil as this place. i've sent barbatos my kind regards more than once."

you gape. "you're on good terms with the anemo archon? but i thought you.." you trail off. aether's told you his story already -- his mission. he's so transparent with you that it makes you want to bury your head in a hole.

aether removes the gloves from his hands and gently strokes the flower petals. "i may be working against the archons, but i'm not that immature. i know guilt when i see it." he looks at you then. you freeze. "i know you feel guilty about this. about us."

"there is no us." you say. the words feel so bitter and disgusting on your tongue. "there's not supposed to be an 'us'."

"and yet here you are." the prince reaches out and cradles your face with a hand. "letting me touch you like we're lovers." he smiles when you don't pull away. you may not notice, but you relax at his touch. his hands are warm and calloused, his fingers and forearms scarred from centuries of battles fought and won. they're comforting to you, no matter how much you want to deny it.

you bite your lip. you can't lie to yourself anymore. you've lied to enough people as it is. you rest your hand on the back of aether's own. "why are you doing this to me?" you ask softly. your voice cracks.

rather than answer you with words, aether leans in and kisses your forehead. your skin sings at the contact. "because you're intriguing." he murmurs against your skin.

you laugh wetly. "you always say that. i need a real reason."

he kisses your cheek. "because you're capable," he continues. "you're mystifying," he kisses your other cheek, "you're trustworthy," he kisses your nose, "and because i..." aether stops and presses his forehead against yours.

you don't think you're breathing anymore. elation has built so much in your chest that you think you're going to burst. "because what?" you whisper. "why do you stick around me so much, aether?"

"say it again." he says. he closes his eyes with a sigh. "my name. say it again."

you obey. "aether."

"again."

"a-aether," you stutter, "what is this about?"

aether silences any other questions you may have with a kiss. it's the ghost of a kiss, really; a barely-there brush of lips that sets off fireworks in your head. "you asked me why i'm doing this." he speaks against your mouth. "it's because i'm in love with you."

you don't mean to say his name again, but it's the only word you can think to say in response. he kisses you properly this time. "aether, i can't," you feel like your very soul is shaking. you're conflicted, but if this goes on any longer, you're going to make your decision. "this is--"

aether kisses you again, drinking in your half-hearted protests. "you feel the same, don't you?" he asks when he pulls away. "i know you do. you wouldn't let me kiss you if you didn't."

"what did you do to me?" you feel a lump in your throat. you've never felt love so genuine -- so pure. but to feel that from the prince of the abyss order? it was tearing you apart. "why do i love you so much, aether? why?"

the prince kisses you. "tell me you love me again. please."

"i love you." the words come straight from your chest; from the deepest, most sensitive place in your body. you mean every word, every syllable. "i love y--"

another kiss. "one more time, star. just one more."

you sniff. you don't know when you started crying, but you are. aether's other hand cups your face, brushing your tears with his thumb. "i love you." you whisper. "so, so much, aether."

aether sighs, finally content. "and i love you. more than there are stars in the sky."

beneath those stars, your abyss prince kisses you tenderly, murmuring words of adoration all the while.

where does your relationship go from here?

from here, nothing changes.

you're so used to lying to lumine that you don't change how behave during the day

your nightly meetings with the abyss prince become more intimate, with you two always touching in some way

he tells you stories of himself and lumine in the past

or maybe he'll tell you of the happenings of the abyss

he does so in order to keep you and lumine out of trouble

aether doesn't hide a thing from you because you've already proven yourself to him

he was drawn to you because of your ability to keep his other half safe

you were helping her reach the answers he wanted her to reach, even after you two became official

at night, aether will sometimes fantasize about taking you along with him and lumine when they leave this world

there's so much he wants you to see, so many things he wants to show you -- to experience with you

but until then, he must complete his work here

there will be nights when aether is too furious to touch or speak to you

he trusts you, but not himself

because he's been the ruler of the underbelly of this world for so long, he feels as though he shouldn't be around you in fear that he will ruin you

that you will become a monster much like him

but really, all you need to do is remind him that you trust him.

kiss him all over, hold his hands, braid his hair, stay close by

because that's more than enough for him to understand that he's not some weapon of mass destruction -- that he's capable of good and deserving of love just like everyone else

he is still just a man lost without his family

he's so torn up about not being able to be around lumine, but the day when he can be around her -- when he can tell her the truth -- is quickly approaching

and it's all thanks to you

because of you, the twins can see each other much sooner than aether planned

you and aether plan to slowly ease lumine into the truth of your relationship when it comes time to tell her

but there will be no more lies. not anymore.

lastly, what is he like as a lover?

lumine told you once that her brother was a very tactile person

he's always been the more compassionate out of the two of them, so he's a hands-on kind of person

something you learn through experience

he's always touching you in some way, be it your hands, shoulders, etc.

he also always takes his gloves off if he's going to touch your skin

very big on cuddling... abyss prince or not, aether just... really likes the warmth of someone else.

aether has a very stern side to him that you see on occasion

mostly when he talks about what he does during the day

his eyes grow dull and his tone will freeze over. his face will lose all of its usual warmth and he'll probably squeeze whatever it is that's in his hands

that's really just a fraction of what he's really like when he's carrying out his duties as prince of the abyss.

also very big on gift giving!! he'll give you little things here and there, but there has never been a time when he hasn't given you something.

i think that aether is a very passionate lover, abyss status or not

but because of his duties, you need to be patient with him. he's prone to moments of panic or lashing out of anger

never directed at you, but things pile up during the day and he has to keep it in to maintain his reputation

✧ — 𝐠𝐨𝐫𝐨𝐮 — ✧

the esteemed general gorou of the sangonomiya army is sometimes reduced to a grinning mess whenever you're around

the resistance soldiers will often chatter around a campfire about how endearing gorou is whenever you walk into a room

he could be giving a briefing on some serious military tactics, right

and you, as a fighter, would enter and pay close attention

the soldiers find it admirable that you don't notice the way gorou's tail will wag whenever he sees you or hears your voice

(you do notice.)

but remember -- he's a still a general. he's a busy man, so unfortunately, there are bound to be rifts between you two due to his job, tail wagging be damned.

even though the vision hunt decree was over and madam sara and her excellency kokomi had completed their peace talks, the watatsumi army was still at war with the tenryou commission. against the will of kujou sara and the raiden shogun, a band of samurai recruited some nobushi and kairagi to help them wipe out any lingering watatsumi army stations, killing the soldiers that resided there.

kokomi was furious when she heard the news. she's too level-headed to fly into a rage, but when you returned after discovering one of the ruined stations to report your findings, you could see her entire demeanor change.

"go and alert general gorou." she ordered after a long silence. her voice no longer sounded like it belonged to her. her face was shrouded in a darkness you'd never seen on... anyone before. "tell him to quickly prepare for a counterstrike."

"have you already decided what to do, your excellency?" you asked, trying to keep your voice even. you knew it was a stupid question as soon as the words left your mouth; kokomi wasn't in charge of the army for nothing. "and... is there anything i can do to help as well?"

kokomi didn't smile at you, but you saw her eyes soften for a second. "for now, there is nothing i can think of. but, if gorou needs you, please assist him."

you couldn't help but fluster slightly. kokomi was aware of your... relationship with the general. she must be have told you that because of it. she could have also said it due to your rank since you were the highest in command right after gorou, but you couldn't shake the feeling that she'd said that for some other reason.

you gave kokomi a short nod. "as you wish, my lady."

you turned on your heel to leave when kokomi stopped you by calling your name. "also... take care of yourself." she said. "i can't imagine that you'd be okay after seeing all of that."

"...yes, my lady."

the walk to gorou's office seemed to take forever. you stop walking midway in order to make sense of what you're going to tell him.

up until just now, you were confused as to why kokomi would tell you to take care of yourself. you were feeling fine when you told her the news the first time, but now, you aren't so sure you'll be able to tell gorou with a straight face. you know that he'd probably comfort you if he sees you so distressed, but that wouldn't do much to help you after seeing what you saw.

the nobushi and kairagi were not, after all, known for their mercy. there was so much blood -- so much carnage. the watatsumi soldiers didn't stand a chance.

you mostly stagger the rest of the way to gorou's office, desperate for his presence. you knock twice on his door and wait for the signal to enter, gorou opens the door instead. there's so much worry written all over his face, you feel like crying with relief at the sight of him.

"i could hear your footsteps through the door," he says, taking your hand and leading you into the room. "they were too uneven, so i figured something was wrong. is everything okay? are you hurt?"

of course he'd hear something like that. if you were anybody else, he'd probably escort you to the healing stations right away. instead, he eases you into a chair and kneels in front of you, his brows drawn with concern. you reach forward and brush your fingers through his hair, sighing when you feel how soft it is. it grounds you in the moment and gives you a sense of security.

"talk to me," gorou says, squeezing your knee. "you don't look so good."

"it's... it's about the army." you finally manage to sigh. the last thing you want to do is relive that moment -- to have blood coat your memories again -- but you have to do your job right. you watch as gorou's ears droop slightly at the knowledge that you're not injured.

"of course. what is it?"

you tell him what happened. you try not to go into detail, but the longer you talk, the more unhinged you start to feel. the words tumble out of their own accord as you spill more and more information about the bodies, the clues the kairagi left, and the way you tried to bury the remains you could find. gorou's grip on your knee tightens by the second until he finally moves to sit beside you, resting his hand on your shoulder to stop you from talking.

"i'm sorry," you stammer, "i should be more professional than this, i just-- i know we've seen worse, but--"

gorou interrupts you with a sharp shake of his head. "don't you dare apologize for any of this. you did so, so well. i'm proud of you." you watch as a dutiful expression climbs over his face; he must be trying to think of a way to approach the situation. he stands abruptly. "i'm going to see her excellency, okay?"

your breath hitches as you mourn the loss of his warmth beside you. this is normal -- gorou will often just up and run to kokomi whenever something urgent crosses his mind. but right now... can't it wait?

it feels like the air is being punched out of you. why would you think that at a time like this?

"yeah, go on." you give him a weak smile, hoping that he will at least kiss your forehead, but he doesn't. he doesn't even bid you goodbye. gorou all but sprints out of his office to where kokomi is, leaving you alone to sweep up the remains of your thoughts. you sink into the chair when you can't hear his footsteps anymore and bury your face in your hands.

you try to convince yourself that this is normal. this is what you signed up for -- what you trained for. you didn't rise to this rank by being emotional; you got here because you were a cut above the rest. you were third in command in the entire watatsumi army, and you were a force to be reckoned with. your lover running off to do his job shouldn't be what does you in -- not after all the shit you've seen.

"then why..?" you mutter to yourself. why does it hurt this bad?

gorou becomes nearly impossible to see in the weeks that follow. he and kokomi devised a strategy for counterattack and deployed the soldiers a while ago, with you leading the front lines to victory each time. you were flawless in your execution and praised highly by everyone who knew of your deeds -- even kokomi gave you recognition.

but gorou... didn't. he just stayed by her side wordlessly as she praised you. he didn't even look you in the eye. there was nothing from him when he saw you that day -- no ear twitch, no flick of the tail. nothing. instead, as soon as kokomi turned to walk back to her office, gorou followed close behind, not even sparing you so much as a glance.

you've let the emotions fester and rot for weeks. for weeks, you've watched gorou trail being kokomi like her loyal lap dog (almost literally) while you were left to fend for yourself. the pain morphed into agony, and the denial bloomed into full-blown jealousy.

then, you tell yourself, if that's the game he wants to play, so be it.

you fully immerse yourself in your work in the following days, almost to the point where you're barely standing on your feet while issuing commands. over and over, your soldiers beg you to rest, but you don't; the more you rest, the more you think about the jealousy that's latched onto you like a stubborn leech. day in and day out, you work and you fight, until one night, gorou finally approaches you.

you've passed out doing some paperwork. you sit up from the desk slowly, your head spinning as you try to remember where you are and what you were doing. "shit, i fell asleep." you grumble.

"you didn't just fall asleep," gorou's voice comes from the door. you jump and drop the pen in your hand. why was he here? "you completely passed out. why are you still working?" he walks up to your desk and reaches across it to touch your face, but you inch away and he recoils, confused. "are you okay?"

are you okay, he asks. you laugh bitterly. "it's been a month and a half, and now he wants to know if i'm okay." you say under your breath. you swear when you remember that gorou's hearing is very keen -- he definitely heard that.

gorou frowns at you, his ears starting to lay flat on his head. he looks wounded by what you said, and you have to fight off another laugh. "i know... it's been a month," he says. "i came to apologize. i know i haven't made time for you lately."

that wasn't the problem. that's never been the problem. you could handle him being absent for his duties. the problem was--

"you think that's why i'm upset with you?" you wince at your tone. you can hear how hurt you sound; you were hoping to sound stronger, but now that the wound you've poorly patched up has opened again, you find that you're back where you started. you've never been good with strong emotions like this, so the words tumble out faster than you can stop them.

"gorou, the day i returned from the massacre, i just wanted you to hold me. even if it was for a passing second, i just... i needed comfort and you... you left." you hiss the last word and frown when he flinches. "you've been avoiding me, haven't you? you've been so close with kokomi that you haven't so much as looked at me in almost two months."

to be fair, you were doing the same, but only because he started it.

gorou looks floored and honestly, you feel the same. you've never blown up at him like this before, and when it dawns on you that you mentioned kokomi's name, you feel heat creep up your neck. "f-forget it." you grumble. "go be a general. i'll be here."

gorou doesn't budge. he circles the desk and stands in front of you with an earnest expression. "i had no idea." he says. you can feel the sincerity behind it. gorou admitted to you when you first started dating that he'd never done this before. something like this was to be expected, but neither of you could have known it would get this bad. "believe me when i say that i was so caught up in work that i-- archons, you had to sit with that image by yourself for so long. i'm so sorry."

if gorou was known for one thing, it was his sincerity. you're embarrassed by how easily he can soothe you, but his honesty was exactly what you needed. it wasn't going to make everything better right away, but you'd be lying if you said this didn't make it easier to deal with.

"i heard from some of your soldiers that you were overworking yourself and i rushed here as soon as i could... you were doing this because of me, weren't you?" gorou puts the pieces together faster than you expected. he takes one of your hands and toys with your fingers, his ears drooping. your fingers twitch with the urge to touch them. "i should have noticed sooner. i'm... i don't know what i can do to make it up to you."

honestly, you don't know either. gorou folded so quickly that you were caught off guard. you kind of expecting him to fight you on this, but he didn't. he... apologized, and you're stuck. "it's..." you catch yourself. it's not okay. it won't be for a while.

but it will be. eventually.

you rise out of your chair and open your arms. if there was one thing you missed, it was his hugs. "can you just hold me for a little while? please?" you ask, your voice small.

gorou complies immediately, surging forward and burying his face in your shoulder. he murmurs apology after apology and you run your fingers through his hair. "you should never have to feel that way," he says, his voice muffled. you glance down and notice that his tail isn't as upright as it usually is. one thing about gorou: if his words and facial expression won't give away how he feels, then his ears and tail definitely will. "i'm sorry. i'm so sorry."

you sigh and reach a little further up, gently scratching behind his ear. you suppress a giggle when gorou makes a soft, content noise. you forgive him, you do, but because you let the horror of that day sit for too long, it would be some time before you approach gorou the way you used to. your relationship has taken a few steps backwards, but there's nowhere to go but forward from here.

"it still hurts," you say honestly. "it hurts a lot, but... i still love you, gorou. i do. but we're gonna have to start slow again."

gorou pulls away and you actually giggle this time at how eager he looks. you're not sure he knows, but his tail is wagging. he's so, so cute. "that's fine by me!" he says, his eyes sparkling. gorou catches himself suddenly and clears his throat in an attempt to contain himself. his tail is still swishing behind him, though. "i mean, uh. if it makes you happy, then..."

you chuckle. it breaks your heart that you have to re-adjust to being around gorou, but you love him all the same. you lean in and peck his lips, laughing when you hear his tail thump against your desk from how fast it's moving. "so long as you're with me," you murmur against his lips, "i'm happy."

✧ — 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐞 — ✧

you know what, why don't we flip the script on this one?

let's talk about you making him jealous by accident.

because it is very, VERY bold of you to assume that he would make you jealous unintentionally.

everything this man does is calculated and intentional. he'll have his moments, but trust me

if he does it, 9 times out of 10, it's on purpose.

you wish you could just get used to it, but childe manages to find new ways to make you want to monopolize his attention every time, and it's embarrassing as hell

as you watch your boyfriend try to bargain prices with a vendor in liyue, you feel a familiar coil in your gut for the fourth time this week. childe has this infuriating habit of turning on the charm whenever he tries to get his way with others. he even does it to you, although his method of bringing down your walls is a bit more... hands-on.

you narrow your eyes at childe, who flicks his gaze over to you for a second. his lips curl into a slight smirk -- a sign that he's trying to rile you up. you shake your head with a quiet huff. this game he's so intent on playing has long since gotten old. you're exhausted; if this is what he's going to do all day, then you may as well find a new way to entertain yourself. "i'm gonna go look around," you say with a quick raise of your hand.

childe grabs it before you can turn to leave, his brows furrowing. "you're gonna leave me behind? are you going home?"

with a sharp shake of your head, you tug your hand out his grip. "i just said i'm gonna look around, ajax." you internally flinch at how harsh you sound, but quickly stomp out the guilt that follows. you have every right to be annoyed. what are you feeling bad for? "take your time and get yourself something nice, okay?"

as you turn and walk away, you think you hear childe mutter something along the lines of "but i'm buying stuff for you", but you ignore it.

today, liyue harbor is crowded as always. people bustle here and there, their voices lively as they chatter about new sales or purchases. a light breeze blows in from the port and you take a deep breath, filling your lungs with the smell of seawater. it's so... refreshing to be out here by yourself. you wish you could just aimlessly walk around with childe, but that man never knows when to slow down; he'd probably rope you into some weird activity.

you rub your temples with a sigh. the knot in your stomach has come loose, but you still feel uneasy. you love childe -- really, you do -- but he's a fucking headache sometimes. you are more than capable of putting up with his bullshit or, if need be, putting him back in his place, but to do it this often? you need a little break.

you feel a light tap on your shoulder and spin around to see none other than zhongli standing behind you, an inviting smile on his face. "i've been calling your name for quite some time," he informs you, his voice smooth, "is there something troubling you?"

ah, of course he would pick up on that. zhongli's knowledge runs deep, mostly because of his sharp eye for details. he may be lacking in mora, but he certainly isn't lacking in observation skills. you shrug dismissively, not wanting to talk or think about what's on your mind.

"there is, but i'm just walking to clear my head." then, an idea strikes you. "would you like to walk with me?"

at the same time, zhongli asks, "will you allow me to accompany you?"

the two of you blink at each other in surprise for a moment before you laugh and jerk your head in the direction you were walking in. "glad we're on the same page. c'mon, i wanna go see if the storyteller has something new today."

zhongli follows alongside you with a light chuckle of his own. the two of you chat about all sorts of things as you stroll. it shouldn't take you this long to reach the tea shop where the storyteller is, but whenever you're with zhongli, you feel the need to prolong your time together. ever since you two met through childe, you've been drawn to his side like a magnet.

not in a romantic sense, of course; you two just connected so well that you considered zhongli to be a very, very close friend -- perhaps it was because you both possessed geo visions. in any case, it was always reasssuring to know that zhongli felt the same about you, even going so far as to introduce you as his younger sibling on a few occasions. it's always a joke, but you will never fight the warm feeling that spreads across your chest each time.

you listen intently to the story being told, occasionally looking over at zhongli to see what he thinks. he always seems to fact check each story once they're over, and you can't wait to hear what he has to say about this one. the story this time is about rex lapis mobilizing his adepti to protect the harbor, and you know how zhongli gets whenever rex lapis is involved.

once it's over, you spin in your seat and lean your chin in your palm, grinning when zhongli chuckles at you. "are you waiting for my thoughts on today's story? you look like a child awaiting a present."

you scrunch your nose. "i'm here for the stories, not for the jokes, 'li. soooo, what do you have for me today?"

just as zhongli is about to tell you his thoughts on the story, a pair of hands drop on your shoulders, startling you so badly that you knock your knee on the table. "what the hell?" you seethe, turning to face your unwanted guest. "who-- ah. you."

it's childe. he lays a hand over his heart and pouts playfully. at least, you think he's trying to be playful; something’s... off about him. "i have a name, y'know?"

you roll your eyes. "trust me, i know." you push him away slightly when he wiggles his brows at you suggestively. "knock it off, zhongli is right there. get your head out of... wherever it is."

at mention of zhongli's name, you see childe's jaw jump. it's such a slight movement -- almost imperceptible -- but you pick up on it immediately. what's his deal? did he run into some unruly fatui grunts or something? you're pretty sure you're the only one who can feel the poorly restrained irritation that's rolling off of him in waves.

"sorry, zhongli, i didn't see you there." he extends a hand in zhongli's direction, shaking it firmly. "how have you been these days? it's been a while."

zhongli hums thoughtfully. "i've actually had my hands full with hu tao for a few days. that child," he sighs, "is frighteningly good at her job, but she's lacking in tact. at this point, i'm afraid i'll have to contact customers on her behalf."

you snort at his pained expression. "do i really want to know what she's been up to?"

"you really don't." zhongli answers instantly. "i would also prefer not to relive those memories."

"well, if that's that," childe cuts in, "we actually need to get going. prior engagements and all that."

you frown up at your boyfriend, but don't argue as you stand and follow beside him. he's definitely acting strange, but you'll question him about it later. you wave goodbye at zhongli and make a promise to meet again at a later date.

the two of you get home a lot faster than you expected -- childe was speed-walking for some reason. it wouldn't bother you if it was anybody else, but childe's stride was far too big for you to keep up at that speed. as soon as the door closes behind you, you cross your arms over your chest.

"talk." you say. it's not a question.

childe -- no, at home, he's just ajax -- mirrors your actions. his face is free of any emotion that would give him away. "you left."

"and..? i told you ahead of time, didn't i?" you squint. "what's your problem? and for celestia's sake, stop looking at me like that, i'm not your employee, tartaglia."

this is usually how confrontation goes in your house. neither you nor ajax were pushovers, so things often came to a stand still since you both refused to back down until the situation was resolved. part of the reason he fell in love with you, as he liked to tell you so much, was your ability to stand tall even when faced with something dangerous.

(the 'something dangerous' in question being ajax himself. both of you know who would win in a physical altercation, but even still, you held your ground against him, going so far as to talk him down from his foul legacy form whilst unarmed.)

apparently, ajax would be the first to back down today. he flinches at the usage of his official work name. he's always hated when you called him that -- it puts so much distance between you. you didn't want to say it in the first place, but he was eyeing you so coldly and you hate being intimidated. his shoulders sag in defeat.

"sorry, sorry," he raises a hand to the back of his neck. "work reflex."

you tilt your chin up, silently pressing him for answers. ajax makes a face.

"fine, fine! you win. don't look at me like that." ajax finally averts his eyes, a shadow starting to form over his face. he hates when you look like you may resent him; it's his biggest fear. "i'm jealous, okay?"

there it is, out in the open. you don't waste a second in piecing the puzzle together. "it's zhongli, isn't it?" you step closer. "do you think there's something between us?"

"what? no!" ajax looks scandalized at the very thought. "archons, no; i know you two are practically family, so i just... we were on a date and you just walked off. when i saw you with zhongli, i..."

the guilt you'd managed to extinguish earlier flares up, scorching your body from the inside out. looking back, you realize how callous of you it was to just storm off while you were supposed to be spending time with your boyfriend, but you didn't do it for no reason.

"do you know why i left?" you ask.

"do you want the honest answer or the stupid answer?"

"ajax, seriously."

"you're really a handful, you know that?" his smile is a bit strained. he makes his way to the couch and sits on it, patting the space beside him for you to sit. you follow suit. "i don't know why you left." he answers honestly, lacing your fingers together on the cushion.

you exhale sharply. how can he be one of the most observant people you know, and yet somehow simultaneously one of the most obtuse?

"you do this thing," you start, "where you try to make me jealous all the time. and don't even think about joking right now, okay? i know you know what you're doing."

ajax nods. at least he's listening.

you continue. "it was entertaining the first few times, i won't lie. i love when you let me have you all to myself, because if i'm being honest, i'm really, really selfish, ajax." you try to ignore the heat that climbs to your cheeks. "a-anyways, it's not fun anymore. i know you think it's funny, but it's starting to seem like you like flirting with others more than you do with me, honestly."

ajax stays silent for a moment, waiting to see if you're done speaking. when you say that you're done, he pulls you in for a hug, sighing when you return it immediately.

"i wish you'd told me sooner," he says lowly. "you let this go on for so long and i had no idea." you feel lips press against your forehead. "it was never my intention to genuinely make you feel insecure like this; you have to believe me."

you believe him. wholeheartedly, you do. ajax's sense of humor is... strange, but it's a part of him. you agree that you should have said something sooner, but there's no fixing that now. you melt further into his arms and he lays back on the couch, pulling you down on top of him. you two shuffle for a bit as you make yourselves comfortable, and once you're comfortable on his chest, you sit up to look him in the face.

"i owe you an apology too," you say quietly. "i shouldn't have just walked off like that. it must've been painful seeing me with zhongli like that."

"sure, that's one way to put it." ajax mutters. you slap his chest and he chuckles. "alright, alright. we were both in the wrong today, huh?"

you lay yourself back down to hear his heartbeat. it's strong and steady, save for a few skips here and there. you snicker quietly; at least you know you can still fluster him after being together for so long. "we were." you hum.

ajax drums his fingers on the small of your back. he hums, the sound noncommittal, and you can hear the rumble in his chest. he's so...

"i can feel your heart like this, you know." he teases lightly. "do you like my voice or something?"

you groan. "i can feel yours, too, cut it out."

"so... you do like my voice, then?"

you sigh fondly and prop yourself up on your arms so you're hovering over him. ajax is grinning at you, his face alight with mischief and tenderness. "i like you, idiot." you confess. you can't help but return the smile.

ajax raises a brow. "just like? it's been like, three years and you only like me?"

"you're fishing for compliments."

"i am. is it working?"

what a child this man can be. you ease yourself down a little and kiss him as sweetly as you can, pouring three years worth of love into the kiss. when you pull away, you puff a laugh at his dejected expression. "i love you. there. happy?"

"kiss me again, and i'll think about it."

✧ tags!: @marius-z (i almost forgot ;;)

✧— 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐚 — ✧

thoma doesn't panic right away when you don't arrive on time.

you were supposed to meet him at komore teahouse for a date; you two made it a routine to have dates there at least twice a week whenever he had the time. it wasn't normal for you to be late, but you'd told him in advance that you were coming from konda village after staying there for a few days, since your parents lived out there. thoma told you to be careful on your way, since there were wandering ronin and treasure hoarders on the outskirts of the island.

"i know you can handle yourself just fine, but," thoma's green eyes swam with concern, "if you come across them, try not to fight, okay?"

you patted his cheek twice. "alright, you big worrywart." you laughed when he perked up a little and leaned in to kiss his nose. "i'll try my best."

thoma wrapped his fingers around the back of your neck, preventing you from pulling away. "do you promise?" he said lowly.

you hummed, an enamored smile parting your lips. "i swear i'll be as careful as i can. if i come across any danger, i'll get away as quickly as i can."

the two of you made a rule early on in your relationship that promises were to be sealed with a kiss, so you kissed him twice for good measure; once to seal the promise, and another time to keep him from whining. as charismatic and confident as thoma may appear, he was actually quite clingy when it came to you. you thought the two kisses would be enough, but thoma doesn't let you go.

"not yet," he murmured against your lips. "just a little more."

you chuckled. "you're so greedy."

as the minutes become hours, thoma's stomach starts to sink. was something wrong? did something happen to you? did you get into any fights and lose?

"no." thoma denies quickly. you wouldn't lose -- you couldn't. call him biased but your strength was unparalleled; you wouldn't let some random treasure hoarder best you. he closes his eyes as he thinks about you wielding your claymore against a mob of attackers. you handled your weapon with so much grace that people often thought it weighed nothing. thoma's about to lose himself in daydreaming about you when a worker of the teahouse appears in the entryway.

"sorry to intrude," she says with a bow, "but i received a letter for you. it was delivered by a suspicious individual, so i came to you right away." in her hands is a yellowed envelope, the edges of which seemed to be burnt.

thoma struggles to keep his expression even as he takes the letter. only when the employee is gone does he allow himself to be swept away by the waves of anxiety. he doesn't have to open it to know that this is a ransom note; this wouldn't be the first time he's seen one. he removes his headband and tentatively removes the seal and pulls out the letter.

the first thing that catches his eye is the large stain on the paper. bile sours thoma's tongue when he works out what it is.

the blood -- your blood -- has already started to oxidize, the stain taking on a rusty color. you must have been gone for far longer than he'd thought if that was ths case. thoma works his fingers through his hair as he reads the contents.

'two billion mora,' the letter reads, 'or they die.'

"two billion." thoma echos. he puffs out an incredulity. you were worth so much more than some two billion mora, but as comforting as that thought was, he knew the kamisato clan didn't just have that much money lying around. even if they did, as a retainer, it wasn't his place to ask for such a large sum anyways; his reputation amongst the staff was very good, but it can't possibly be that good. he makes himself sick just thinking about ways to preserve his reputation while you were missing.

as much as it pains him to do it, thoma tries to go about this rationally first. his body is itching to scour every nook and cranny of jinren island (since your abductors were kind enough to tell you where they were -- probably for ransom delivery), but he knows he would achieve nothing that way. plus, he'd likely be outnumbered. thoma smiles bitterly as he puts his headband back on. who cares about being outnumbered? he needed to see you safe and sound sooner rather than later.

he gets back to the kamisato estate in record time, where he heads straight to ayaka. she's having tea with ayato when he sees her. if this were any other day, he'd feel bad for intruding; the siblings don't get much time to see each other due to their respestive duties, but this -- you -- were far more important.

"thoma, you look exhausted," ayaka comments as she stands and makes her way over. he'd tried to keep a level head as he traveled, but he must have tried to sprint all the way here. no wonder his chest was burning. "you look about ready to pass out. is everything alright?"

thoma doesn't respond right away. he can't, not with how tight his chest feels. his breath comes in short and shallow. he pulls the crumpled letter from his pocket. he'd crushed it impulsively after reading it. ayaka tentatively takes the note from him and gasps when she realizes who exactly was missing. there was only one person that could make him panic like this.

ayato approaches next and reads the note. his face hardens and he crumples the paper back up. "i don't believe we can spare that much mora," he says through grit teeth, "but if i explain the situation to the tenyrou commission, then--"

"that's very kind of you," thoma interjects, "but what would people think of the yashiro commission if they found out you were doing all of this for a mere retainer?"

ayaka looks cross. "you're not just a retainer, thoma." she rests a hand on his shoulders, squeezing gently when she feels trembling. "you are like family to us; you know that."

thoma inhales sharply. he's already past his limit. he hasn't felt this helpless since he first arrived in inazuma all those years ago. he really didn't miss this feeling. ayaka's heartfelt words do very little to soothe him. because while it's always nice to know that he's got a family within the kamisato siblings, he also has a family in you.

but you're not here.

molten tears sting his eyes, but he blinks them back before they get the best of him. thoma's never cried in front of anyone before, and he didn't want to start now. "i appreciate it," he says after a while, offering the siblings his most grateful smile. "but i think i'll go and get them on my own."

ayato puts his foot down. "absolutely not. you're far too valuable, thoma; going there alone would be a suicide mission, and i refuse to endanger you like that."

"then you can rest easy; you're not the one putting me in danger." thoma feels a bit of his usual energy return to him as he give ayato a reassuring smile. "i'll be endangering myself."

"that's not--" ayato sighs harshly. he rolls his shoulders back -- a sign that he's admitting defeat. as expected yashiro commissioner, he's likely already thought ahead. he can't stop thoma. they both know it. "very well. come back safe. do you understand? that's an order."

ayaka nods and steps beside her brother. she doesn't look like she agrees, but there's not much she can do now. thoma supposes it's for the best. he gives them both a grin before accepting the order and leaving a bow. as soon as he exits the room, the smile drops from his face. he was going to head straight for that island without wasting another second. "i'll be there soon." he mutters to the open air.

getting to jinren island took a lot longer than he hoped it would.

it was so far off the coast of narukami; he could see why it was a gathering place for criminals. thoma hadn't been very subtle in his arrival, so he's greeted by about four treasure hoarders, two of which held large shovels. after doing a quick sweep, thoma notices that none of them have visions.

good. that makes this a lot easier then.

thoma raises his hands in surrender. "gentlemen." he greets with his most diplomatic smile.

"where's the mora?" one of the bulkier men demands. he growls when thoma clicks his tongue.

"now, now, don't you boys know how negotiations work?" he chides gently, like a parent scolding their child. "especially when something as precious as another person's life is at stake... has no one ever taught you this? let me confirm that they're alive first, and then you get the money."

the treasure hoarders aren't as stupid as he was hoping. one of them shoves a blade in his face. thoma doesn't flinch.

"boss says that that's not how it goes."

"do you not trust me?" thoma raises a brow before jerking his head in the direction of the boat he came in on. "if you don't believe me, then by all means, feel free to check my bag."

the criminals locate his bag easily. they lift it with some difficulty and hear the familiar jingling of what they assume is mora. thoma has to bite back a mocking laugh when he realizes that they didn't even check the bag; they just thought he brought mora. content with the "ransom", they escort thoma further onto the island.

there's a wooden cage in the center of some platform on a hill, and more treasure hoarders standing guard around it. there's more wooden cages, but since no one is near those, it's safe to assume they were empty. when thoma finally steps onto the platform, he sees you.

you're crumpled on the floor of the cage, your body curled in on itself. it looked like you'd passed out while clutching your stomach. thoma blindly sprints towards you and glares at a treasure hoarder until he opens the cage. the door swings open, and thoma's by your side in an instant, fretting over your unconscious body. you don't wake when he shakes you, and bile rises to his mouth again. he tilts you to get a better look at your face, and--

"how long were they here." thoma doesn't recognize his own voice. he gingerly wipes the fresh blood from under your nose with his thumb, grimacing when he feels some more dried blood crumble beneath it. your breathing shallow and stuttered, and thoma feels rage beginning to simmer. you have a black eye and there's both dried and fresh blood caked to your forehead. you have a few deep cuts on your cheeks that have clearly been treated with very little care, and as thoma's eyes trail down your body, he sees violet and yellowing bruises extend down into your clothes.

the rage grows to a boil in no time. "i asked how long they were here." thoma speaks again. "answer me."

a scrawny treasure hoarder nearby shrugs. "about three days."

that's exactly how long you were gone for. you must never have even made it to your parents.

thoma's about to summon his spear when a deep groan bubbles out of your chest. his anger fizzles like a spark dampened by water as he watches you wake up. "hey, hey." he whispers, his smile fragile as your eyes flutter open. his heart crumbles as he sees you try your best to focus on him, especially with your bruised eye. "good morning, sunshine."

his attempt to keep you calm doesn't work. you hardly get to rasp his name before you're coughing violently, tears forming in your eyes as you do. you can't seem to stop, and the very sensation only seems to worsen the pain. "what are you--" you're interrupted by your own coughing again.

thoma shushes you gently. you must have a broken rib. "i came to pick you up. you were late for our date, you know." he's trying so hard to remain calm, trying to keep himself sane since he's finally found you, but when you return his weak smile and he sees the blood staining your teeth, the rage reignites itself.

"took you long enough." you wheeze. your eyes lose focus again. "you're a little blurrier than i remember you." you try to joke.

thoma doesn't laugh. he knows you're trying to put him at ease, but it's not working. it's not going to work. he slips away from you and rises to his feet. "that's fine, baby. get some more rest for me, yeah? let me finish up here and then we can go home."

the treasure hoarders around you two sense something’s off and brandish their weapons, pointing them at thoma, whose got his own polearm at the ready. "what do you think you're doing?!" one of the men yells.

on the ground, you call thoma's name. "w-what's going on? what are you--?"

your boyfriend turns around for a second and gives you his sweetest smile. even with hazy vision, you can see the playful shimmer of his emerald eyes. "sleep for just a little while longer, baby." he faces the enraged treasure hoarders again, his voice dropping to something you've never heard before. "i'll be quick."

(he wouldn't know until it was over, but you had actually passed out as soon as soon as he told you to sleep. it wasn't so much that you were obeying him, but more that you physically couldn't stay conscious any longer.)

thoma doesn't think he's ever fought so viciously in his life.

he swings his polearm to the side, relishing in the cracking he hears as he knocks over two treasure hoarders. he makes quick work of the potioneers, bringing the base of his polearm down on the backs of their heads without a second thought. they crumple like ragdolls, and for a split second, he wonders if he killed them. he wanted to kill them -- he wanted nothing more than to skewer each and every one of these bastards and fling them into the ocean -- but if anyone were to find out what happened here, it would only complicate things.

he tries to avoid killing the remaining few, but not without stabbing them in non-vital areas with the blade of his weapon. one of the treasure hoarders has the gall to beg for mercy. "funny," he chuckles, swiping the blood off his cheek with a thumb, "i'm sure my lover said the same thing."

the last treasure hoarder gives him a hard way to go. the rest of the shovel holders went down pretty quickly, but this one clearly dwarfed everyone with his size. thoma assesses him very quickly and nearly succumbs to the darkest thought in his head.

someone had to die for this. one body wouldn't hurt, would it?

his next thought halts him in his tracks, nearly getting his head crushed by the burly treasure hoarder. as nice as it would be to kill at least one person, screw the commission -- if you found out, what would you think of him then? thoma makes up his mind quickly and inserts himself into the fight once more.

after a lengthy struggle, thoma finally manages to jam his polearm into the treasure hoarder's thigh, bringing him to his knees. thoma finishes the fight with a solid crack to the back of his head, knocking him out cold. he observes the mess he made and nods to himself. this felt good; giving them what they deserved. he makes his way back over to you.

you're exactly where he left you, curled on the floor of the cage. thoma picks you up as gently as he can and carries you back to the boat he came in on. he's about to rest you down when he sees two more boats coming in, both bearing symbols of the kamisato clan.

ayato and ayaka were on one boat. even after he told them not to, they came to assist him. the other boat held a few samurai to arrest the treasure hoarders. ayato helps thoma carry you onto their sturdier boat while ayaka strokes your head to keep you asleep amidst all the commotion. her touch is feather light, and it works to keep you asleep.

maybe it works a little too well, because the next time you open your eyes, you're in a bed.

you wake with a start, desperately sucking in air as if you were drowning. you regret it immediately as your lungs and ribcage scream in protest. a large set of hands is on you quickly, the one on your back rubbing soothing circles. you slap it away quickly. "don't touch me, i-- thoma?"

any fight you managed to muster leaves your body at the sight of your boyfriend by your side. there's dark circles under his eyes, shadowing their usual forest green color. "hey, stranger. you feel any better?"

your shoulders droop and you reach over, holding his face in your hand. thoma leans into your touch, holding onto your wrist for dear life. he practically nuzzles your palm with closed eyes, waiting for you response. you're so shocked by his behavior that it takes you a minute. "how... how long was i asleep for?"

thoma's eyes open, but not all the way. "about 36 hours. you..." he sighs, clearly bothered by the information. "you got roughed up pretty bad. how do you feel?"

"i feel like death, but did you sleep?" you brush your thumb over his cheek, your heart cracking when he sighs, content. "you must have been so worried, thoma, i'm sor--"

"don't," he snaps. he catches himself, murmuring an apology. "don't say sorry. no, i didn't sleep much. i was just-- i was worried you'd disappear again. last time you left my sight, you..."

every word seems to take more and more energy out of him. you may be the injured one, but thoma's distress has to be the most painful thing for you right now. love works so strange sometimes. you move your hand and run your fingers through his hair. "i'm not going anywhere again, okay?" you giggle lightly when thoma nearly purrs at the feeling. "look at you. you're like a giant cat."

"i'm your giant cat." he smiles then, and you see a glimmer of his usual self start to show. you know you mean a lot to him, but to see just how much is almost overwhelming. "i love you. so, so much, you know?"

"yeah." you grin. maybe you'll heal faster with him by your side. "i know. now go get some sleep, thoma. i'll be here in the morning."

"...you promise?"

you beckon him towards you, remembering your usual promise tradition. he leans in and you peck his lips, laughing when he starts to pout. there he is, you think. there's your thoma.

"i promise."

✧ — 𝐤𝐚𝐳𝐮𝐡𝐚 — ✧

kazuha will never forgive himself for not being the first to notice your absence.

it's beidou who brings it up first. it had been a few weeks since the crew made a stop in liyue harbor. everyone went their separate ways; some to visit family, some, like kazuha, to explore the surrounding areas. you and kazuha had gone your separate ways two days ago since he decided to venture further out, but you had responsibilities aboard the alcor.

"are you going to set sail with us again?" you finally mustered up the courage to ask. you were on edge all night, caught between asking kazuha to just stay with you and letting him go. you knew he was a free spirit, and you feared that once he started on his journey, you two would have to part ways for good.

kazuha crossed the room and sat beside you, his head tilted in question. "are you afraid that i might not?"

you nod wordlessly. it's embarrassing enough that you had to ask; you probably sounded clingy, and you knew how much kazuha hated it, even if he never said it out loud.

"...it seems like you've come to a conclusion without me. may i pick your brain, my love?" he nudged your shoulder with his.

it was impossible to keep secrets from him. you knew this. kazuha's observation skills were second to none, even when it didn't involve nature. you decided to confide in him, knowing that your relationship wouldn't grow unless you communicated. "i'm just worried that you might not return."

kazuha hummed. "if it's my combat skills that youre concerned about..."

"no, no, it's not that! i... i feel like once you leave, you'll find that you're happier out there." you swallowed down the unwelcome tightness in your throat. "you're a wanderer, kazuha, and i'm bound to the alcor. i'm scared that after this little break, you won't want to come back."

kazuha, stunned by your vulnerability, blinked a few times. even though you valued communication, you still struggled to talk to anybody, including him. he looked at you a little longer, trying to figure out why you would think he would ever leave your side.

it's true that he's a free spirit, but even the wind has to settle sometimes.

"dove," he said, taking your hand in his own, "i could never leave you for long." he chuckled at the look of mild disbelief that you gave him. "to me, it sounds as though you thought i would be upset with you for asking me to stay."

"i don't want to stifle you." you confessed. "i love you too much to do that to you."

kazuha made a small "ah" noise. he got off the bed and stood between your legs, tilting your head so you could look up at him. "ask me to stay." he pursed his lips for a moment. "on second thought, tell me to stay."

it wasn't worded like a question. you hesitated.

"i love you as you love me, perhaps even more so, if you would believe me." kazuha's hands explored your face gently, fingers smoothing over your eyebrows or lightly pinching at your nose. he had the most lovestruck smile on his face, and it made you flush. "i would do anything for you; i would grow roots and stay by your side if you'd let me."

"of course i'd let you!"

kazuha leaned down. "then tell me." he whispered. "tell me to stay. wherever you go, i'll go; wherever you stay, i'll stay. to the ends of teyvat, my dove, i would follow you anywhere."

this wasn't what you had in mind when you made up your mind to talk to him. you felt as though you were a child with a crush all over again, growing more and more flustered by the second with how close kazuha was to your face. he kissed your cheek. "go on, dove. say it."

"kazuha..." your heart sat in your throat, and the lump you suppressed earlier returned with a vengeance. "i don't know, i--"

your lover kissed your other cheek, his ruby eyes encouraging you to answer. you hated that you were so conflicted over this, but if he grew to hate you for forcing him to settle down--

"you're not forcing me," kazuha said. your face burned as you realized you said that out loud. he kissed your lips this time. "you're so lovely, my little dove. say it."

your walls came toppling down a lot easier than you expected. the pros of having kazuha around greatly outweighed the cons, and if he ever did wish to go his own way, then that was a conversation he would most likely have with you. he wouldn't just abandon you without a word. so you tell him.

"stay." you barely had the word out before kazuha kissed you, stealing it right from your lips.

"again." he murmured.

"please, stay."

kazuha pressed light kisses all over your face, drinking in the giggle you gave him. "as you wish."

you had little difficulty parting with him after that. reassured by the promise of return, you flew through your tasks aboard the ship with ease as you waited for the day kazuha returned.

but when he did return, you were nowhere to be found.

kazuha knows that he shouldn't blame himself for not being able to find you first, but he does anyways. he wasn't the first to board the alcor -- beidou was. when he got there later that morning, she pulled him into her cabin and slammed two things on the table. it was a dagger and a sheet of paper with demands scribbled on it. he didn't have to read the contents to know what it meant.

"i couldn't find them when i got here," she sighs, her arms folded tightly over her chest, "so i asked any early crewmates but they said they haven't seen them either. then i found this stabbed into my door."

kazuha's jaw jumps as he tries to find the proper words to say. he now understands how you must feel whenever you're trying to stop yourself from being crass with people who you dislike. his eyes flutter shut. if he looks at that letter any longer, he'll have much more trouble containing himself. "what does it say," he asks flatly. "who is it and what do they want?"

beidou, who seems equally as pissed as kazuha, reads the ransom note again. "they want all our valuables, so... my guess is treasure hoarders. how did those scummy bastards manage to organize something like this in the first place?"

how, indeed. it's a great question. kazuha doesn't care for the answer. "is there a location?"

the captain squints. "don't tell me you actually want me to surrender our supplies." if she were anybody else, that would come across as her prioritizing materials over your safety, but kazuha knows her better than that. he can see it when he opens his eyes. "it says they're near qingxu pool. there's a bunch of abandoned homes out there, so--"

"will you assist me, captain?" kazuha's not the brash type, never one to interrupt someone midsentence unless absolutely necessary, but beidou takes no offense to it. his expression is blank -- too void of emotion to be normal. needless to say, she gets why he's being a little impulsive.

beidou herself isn't one to dive headfirst into situations like this. as the captain of the crux fleet, she is not only responsible for overseeing the crew's behavior and the ship's maintenance, she is also a diplomat meant to keep the peace.

but she, like kazuha, is also a fighter. her answering smile is sharp. "i'll go inform the crew that we're gonna delay our departure."

once technicalities are out of the way, kazuha and beidou exit liyue harbor and walk towards the designated location. the trip is silent as kazuha tries to imagine all the ways this could go.

if he found you and you were unscathed, then he would have no trouble taking you and leaving. treasure hoarders like these don't have the means of following you. if you had a few scratches, then maybe he'd have to get physical.

an intrusive thought gives him pause. what if this was a trap and you were already dead?

"kazuha." beidou's voice makes him jump. she's stopped walking as well. they're finally here. "just know that whatever happens in there, i don't blame you."

kazuha runs her words through an internal translator right away.

"if you feel the need to kill someone, then go ahead."

it's sickening, feeling like a rabid dog on a stray leash. but never, not once in kazuha's life has he ever experienced something like this. he's a bit lost in the motions. he follows closely behind beidou as she approaches where the treasure hoarders are holding you captive.

your kidnappers did a horrible job hiding you. kazuha and beidou find you slumped against the concrete wall, your hands bound by some flimsy rope. neither of them make a sound, nor do they move to free you right away. it's not the presence of poorly hidden treasure hoarders that's got them frozen in place but rather, the that state you're in.

dried blood cakes the wall behind you, smeared a little bit above your head and trails down to where the back of your head rests. a rainbow palette of bruises paints your arms and face, and there's blood on your forehead and at the corner of your mouth.

kazuha reaches for his sword without a moment's hesitation. beidou stops him. "not yet." she warns. then, "we know you're there! come on out before i come and find you myself."

surprisingly (or not; treasure hoarders are pathetic excuses for human beings), the kidnappers come out. there's a large number of them, but that, too, is to be expected. they provoked the woman who took on the haishan alone and a samurai whose skills they knew nothing about. their cooperation may be a ploy, but a head count is pretty helpful.

"fourteen," kazuha says aloud. seven shouldn't be a problem for him. he's encountered more enemies on the run.

"where's the goods?" a skinny treasure hoarder asks. "we told you we'd kill them if you didn't bring what we asked."

beidou shifts her posture once before summoning her weapon, resting it on her shoulder. the entire room crackles with the tension of an upcoming battle. "touch them one more time, and i'll have to get my hands dirtier than usual."

her threat does nothing. a treasure hoarder next to you pushes you with his foot and you groan. you're alive, but--

"kazuha, wait." beidou commands.

kazuha didn't even realize he'd drawn his own sword. you once praised him for his exceptional restraint and ability to keep himself cool under pressure. he skims your body once more and notices that something’s... off. something’s missing. "their vision." kazuha finally speaks. "where is it?"

a treasure hoarder to his left laughs and pulls your anemo vision from his pocket, waving it around tauntingly. "you mean this thing?" he sneers.

the flashbacks happen so fast that it nearly blinds him.

the sight of his best friend being defeated right before his eyes, his cracked blade falling at his feet. his vision flying through the air, devoid of its elemental glow.

the hysterical cries of people who had been robbed of their visions -- their ambitions. the rainbow that projected onto the ground in inazuma city during mid-afternoon, the sun reflecting off of the confiscated visions.

there's a flash and a clang before something -- the treasure hoarder's severed forearm -- hits the ground with a dull thud.

your vision now rests safely in kazuha's hands. "yes," he replies to the treasure hoarder he unknowingly attacked, his agonized screams falling on uncaring ears. "this thing."

beidou mutters, "fuck it," before charging at the seven treasure hoarders on her left. her powerful strikes are audible as she swings her claymore. kazuha cradles your vision as he takes on the remaining six treasure hoarders.

if you were to ask kazuha what happened that day, he probably wouldn't be able to tell you. not because he's ashamed of what he did, but because he really and truly doesn't remember.

adrenaline and molten fury give kazuha the strength he needs to cut down each of his opponents. he doesn't miss a single one -- doesn't leave a single stone unturned. each treasure hoarder he encountered met the same fate. when there's finally one treasure hoarder left, kazuha doesn't kill him right away.

"in your next life," kazuha seethes, his voice foreign to his own ears, "you will die another death by my hands." he silences the treasure hoarders please by dragging his sword across his neck, and like that, brings the fight to a close.

kazuha peers down at your vision, which is still pulsing with life. you may be incapacitated, but perhaps this was your way of giving him strength. when he sees blood smeared on the shell, a twinge of guilt starting to grow. "you said you wouldn't blame me." he says as the adrenaline seeps out of him. "do you think they would--"

beidou slaps the back of his head, shutting him up. "please, they'd have started fighting a hell of a lot sooner than you did." she looks him over once before looking down at herself. the two of them are covered in blood, none which was their own. "ugh, let's go. there's doctors that can treat them on board."

kazuha cups the back of his head with a quiet hiss, but follows along anyways. he heads over to you and picks you up as gently as he can, careful not to upset any wounds you may have that he can't see. "i'm sorry i didn't come sooner, dove." he whispers. "i'm so, so sorry."

when you finally wake up, it's to the sound of seagulls. you shoot into an upright position, but your vision starts to swim and you feel the need to throw up. you lean back on the headboard. what the hell happened? why did you feel like someone ragdolled you into a wall? you close your eyes and try to listen to the crash of waves outside. at least you were on the alcor -- maybe you should try to remember what happened until someone came in. the door opens about 45 minutes later, and you're greeted by a familiar head of platinum hair.

it's kazuha.

he rushes over and kneels at your bedside. your lover doesn't say anything for a long while as he cups your hands and bows his head away from your sight, his shoulders shaking slightly. thankfully, you managed to recall what happened in the two days you were apart, so you can't blame him for being this way. he must have been scared stiff.

the only thing you can think to say in the moment is, "welcome home, kazuha."

his shoulders still for a moment before starting again, but this time, you can hear soft laughter. kazuha looks up at you, his eyes teary. "i'm back, dove," he says, pressing your hands to his forehead. "i'm back."

"did you miss me?" it's a cheeky question, and probably a bit calloused considering what happened, but you both needed a smile right about now. kazuha's smile grows, and your heart flutters.

"more than anything." kazuha kisses the back of your hands, the gesture laden with affection and longing. "a day apart from you feels like an eternity, my star."

you chuckle. "never have truer words been spoken."

kazuha pushes himself off the floor and sits on the bed near you, holding your face in his hands. you're sure you're still swollen and bruised; you must be unsightly and yet kazuha's looking at you like you hung the stars in the sky for him. he leans forward and rests his forehead on yours.

"you are my everything." he declares softly. it's like a prayer to you and you alone, spoken a space inhabited only by the two of you. his words are sacred and special, and you soak in every last one. "the brightest star in my sky; my universe."

you're starting to get dizzy. he must have been terrified by your absence. "kazuha--"

his lips cover your own and you melt, unable to resist him. "i adore you." he says when he pulls away. "i always will."

you cling to those words like they're your last lifeline. "and i, you." you say in return, shutting your eyes when he kisses you again.

✧ (whew! this monster grew bigger and bigger as i wrote it! i got carried away again,,, but! i do hope you enjoyed reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it!)

✧ — 🍁 — ✧

on the surface, you and kazuha look like the perfect couple...

...kinda.

don't get me wrong; there's nothing wrong with your relationship at all! you two are so grossly in love and kazuha's actually gifted you a promise ring that he had personally commissioned for you!

but to those who know you, they think you two are like oil and water.

and you.. really, you can't be mad at them for thinking that way. you and kazuha had a very, VERY rough start.

how did it all begin?

scroll up for me real quick. you see the title?

yes, it's exactly what you're thinking. you said that to kazuha when you met for the first time.

for context, you're the quartermaster on the alcor. beidou trusts you and your exceptional skills. you keep the peace on the ship, and she actually doesn't make any decisions without running things by you first.

a lot of things come with the position of quartermaster: respect, authority, confidence...

and a foul fucking mouth.

"fuck no." you cross your arms over your chest, staring down the wanted samurai beidou smuggled aboard.

you're not sure how she managed to hide him from you this long; the alcor left ritou over three days ago. how this guy managed to avoid you so well, you had no idea. all you knew was that this guy was trouble.

"a fugitive, beidou? are you shitting me?" you pinch the bridge of you nose, frustrated. "what made you think taking him in was even remotely a good idea?"

beidou's never been intimidated by you. she's the only person on the alcor who can match youe energy -- surpass it, even. you always know when to back down since she's in charge, but right now, you're seriously questioning her judgment. the captain flicks her hair over her shoulder as she turns to the samurai she took in.

"well, since you asked so nicely," she bites, squinting her uncovered eye at you, "he's the reason i didn't get my vision snatched up when we docked. apparently the raiden shogun doesn't care whose vision is confiscated, so long as it's separated from its owner."

your fingers twitch by your side. beidou nearly got her vision taken away? why didn't she tell you? your own cryo vision seems to pulse, it's light growing brighter for a moment before dimming again. "go on.." you nod.

beidou plops a hand on the samurai's shoulder. "he was fast as hell, i'll tell you that right now. pretty damn cool, actually! isn't that right, kazuha?"

the fugitive -- kazuha, you note -- smiles serenely at beidou. for some reason, it pisses you off.

something about kazuha is just... off. his scarlet eyes are so warm and inviting, especially when they land on you. his gaze grows softer the longer he looks at you, and it makes your stomach flutter.

oh, hell no.

your sense for danger has always been second to none. you give in to beidou and wait for her to get out of earshot before you move. you don't think twice; in the blink of an eye, you brandish your sword and imbue it with cryo energy, pressing the tip against kazuha's neck. the samurai's eyes go wide and he raises his hands in surrender. "have i done something wrong?"

his voice is so... smooth. you swear under your breath and lower the temperature of your blade even further. "you might have beidou fooled, but it'll be a cold day in hell before you sucker me into liking you." you growl.

kazuha doesn't look daunted at all. his eyebrows twitch with amusement. "rest assured," he says, "i haven't 'suckered' captain beidou into liking me, as you put it."

"sure, and i'm the yuheng of the fucking qixing."

"if i may ask--"

"you may not."

kazuha asks anyways. "why are you so bothered by my presence? this is the first time we've ever met and you've already got my life in your hands, ready to extinguish my flame at any given moment. surely, i deserve to know why."

well, shit. he's got you there. you may be an asshole, but you're an asshole with morals. you hate to admit it, but kazuha's right. you huff and speak honestly. "you really want the truth?" you roll your eyes when the samurai raises an eyebrow, encouraging you to continue. "fine. you stink."

kazuha's face remains expressionless, as though he's trying not to let his reaction show. "care to elaborate?"

you can't believe you're telling this to a fucking stranger. "there's... everyone has a smell, alright? you don't smell right."

"meaning..?"

"fucking-- you have blood on your hands. i can smell it. happy?" you confess. your arm's starting to get tired, but kazuha doesn't look bothered by your weapon in the slightest. if anything, once you told him you could smell blood on him, he looked intrigued by you. he was.. almost examining you with that stupidly attractive face of his. hell, acknowledging that he was pleasing for the eyes was enough to make you want to slit his throat right here.

kazuha hums after a brief pause. "is that so? then," he eases your sword down with his bandaged hand, "i feel that we're going to get along very, very well, quartermaster."

you scoff and sheathe your weapon. to hell with it, you think. beidou would've killed you if you hurt him, anyways. "eat shit and fucking die, pretty boy," you spit. you turn on your heel and march to your cabin.

kazuha chuckles at your retreating figure. "all that," he muses to himself, "and they think i'm pretty."

what happened then?

well first of all, you had no choice but to get along with him; you could only steer clear of him for so long on a ship. you were bound to run into him eventually, so you stopped trying

but it just so happened that kazuha seemed to take up residence in all your usual spots.

you didn't have the heart to chew him out for it

you just decided to stay silent while he tried to keep conversation

because really, it aggravated you to no end how this freak who reeked of blood tried to pretend as though everything was okay.

you were well aware that as a fugitive, he would have had to do whatever it took to keep himself safe

you understood that all too well

what bothered you was his easygoing behavior. he was so... unfazed by it all.

you were no stranger to death, but that didn't mean it didn't unnerve you.

you blew up at him one night, venting your frustrations to him almost in one breath

kazuha just... sat there. he listened to every word, nodding along as though you weren't cursing his entire bloodline

when you finished, all he said was:

"this is the first time you've willingly spoken to me. did you know that?"

you gaped at him because yeah, he was right, but...

shit, he was right!

you could only stare at him and as you did, you noticed how his platinum hair glittered like the moon did over the ocean every night. he grinned at you as you remained speechless, and you quickly averted your eyes, your body temperature rising.

... oh boy.

so, how did you get together?

kazuha confesses to you in the crow's nest of the alcor.

again, you're an asshole, but you're not so far removed as to not recognize your own feelings.

you knew you had it bad for kazuha a while ago, but you didn't know how to go about it

you treated him like everyone else in public, but during your late night talks, you actually began to entertain him

plus, you two connected over your keen sense of smell

he would recount to you tales of his homeland, looking at the maple leaves that decorated his garments with that sentimental shimmer in his ruby red eyes, and you...

you saw the kazuha that only seemed to show itself at this time of night.

he bore his soul to you beneath the moon, foolishly wearing his heart on his sleeve for you to see

you didn't know who was more foolish: him, for leaving himself wide open, or you, who did the same in return.

"i'd love to see them someday."

"what?"

kazuha's eyes snap to you, round and glossy. he always looks this way when he speaks about his home in inazuma. he never has a shortage of stories from there; it's always something new with him, and you soaked up each story like a sponge. archons, you were a goner. especially when he looked at you like this.

you turn your eyes away, unsure if you even deserve to be looked at like that.

"it's just.. you seem fond of the maple leaves back there." you laugh briefly. "not surprising, considering you kinda smell like it even though you've been here for so long."

you can feel kazuha's stare. you don't look back, opting to keep talking.

"it's, uh, endearing that you remember your home so fondly," you confess. "i'd love to see them someday; i wanna know what makes them so special."

for a little while, nothing is said. the only thing that can be heard is the sloshing of the ocean down below, and the gentle night breeze. you close your eyes, basking in the moon's glow. you're not proud of yourself for being so... mushy, but you've already crossed that line. there's no going back.

"when i was a boy, i used to see couples walking through the city." kazuha scratches at his cheek sheepishly. it's dark, but you can see the redness rushing to his face. "there was this... superstition back then. that their relationships would last if they shared a kiss beneath the maple trees."

oh.

oh fuck, where was he going with this?

you don't get to ask.

"i may be overstepping," the samurai looks at you with a boyish grin that makes your heart skip one too many beats. "but would you... like to try that someday?"

you blank. is he... is he saying that he wants to kiss you?

you're suddenly aware of how close you are to him. you swallow thickly, your eyes dropping to kazuha's lips and back up of their own accord. kazuha takes a deep breath. of course he saw that.

well... in for a penny.

"we'd have to be a couple first, pretty boy." the words flow much easier than you thought they would. you consider yourself lucky -- even more so when kazuha turns his face to hide his blush from you. "are you asking me out, kazuha?"

kazuha hums. he does that a lot, you note. "i guess i am."

you summon up courage from deep within you and lean closer, close enough that you can see the way kazuha's blush extends down his neck. he's way out of his depth here. it's cute. he's cute.

"then i guess i'd have to accept."

the samurai turns back in your direction, briefy startling when he notices how close you are. he doesn't pull away. instead, you see his adam's apple bob as he swallows.

his voice is low when he asks, "would it be alright if i kissed you?"

like hell you would say no.

"i'd probably be pissed if you didn't."

kazuha cups your face, breathing a laugh against your lips. the contact sends shocks of pleasure and relief up your spine. "i'll try not to disappoint you, then."

"better fucking not," you grumble into the kiss.

and in the present day?

well first of all, he took you to see the maple leaves after the vision hunt decree ended

kazuha was terrible as masking his excitement, chattering away about his childhood here

you actually had to remind him to kiss you beneath the maple tree

i digress!

everyone knows kazuha is a sweet man.

he's very careful about how he chooses his words, almost to the point where he stops making sense

you, on the other hand.

you were so straightforward, you actually made a few enemies just by being yourself... sorry, man

beidou will NEVER stop asking why kazuha decided to stick with you of all people, which you prompts you to flip her off

but whenever beidou sends kazuha on her behalf to do negotiations (because really, you can't be trusted to do it alone), you usually tag along

you know that sunshine - sunshine protector meme?

yeah, that's you guys, except kazuha is the sunshine protector

...what? someone has to keep you out of trouble!

"i thought beidou was sending the quartermaster." the merchant folds his arms as he glares at you and kazuha. "instead, she sent me a delinquent and a samurai."

"excuse me--?!" you start to bark, but kazuha taps your hand beneath the table you're seated at. you clamp your jaw shut and grind your teeth for a moment. you can't believe this self-absorbed fuckwad called you a delinquent of all things!

"my name is kaedehara kazuha, sir," kazuha keeps his tone even and gestures to you, subtly signaling for you to lighten up. "captain beidou did send the quartermaster, and this is them."

it's your turn to fold your arms. out of the corner of your eye, you see kazuha glance at you. 'play nice,' goes unsaid.

he's lucky he's cute.

you introduce yourself gruffly and launch right into negotiations, listing the demands that beidou told you to make. your tone leaves little to no room for argument; something the merchant does not appreciate.

"who are you to order me around?!" he hollers. "you're just the captain's dog -- treat me with the respect i'm owed!"

you're not proud of what comes next.

you see red, battling the urge to jump up and maim the merchant. "listen sir," you hiss through grit teeth, ignoring the little taps kazuha gives you in warning, "these are the words of the captain, got it? so either shit, or lose your best source of income. got it?"

kazuha sighs beside you. there isn't much he can say to save your skin now. really, you were justified in snapping. it's a miracle you didn't reach for your weapon. "i'm afraid i'll have to agree with the quartermaster." kazuha pipes up. "i don't take too kindly to you referring to my lover as a dog. should we perhaps show how a dog behaves when provoked?"

there's venom in his words. you sit up a bit straighter, pride brightening your features ever so slightly. the merchant backs down and soon enough, negotiations are over.

"i'm proud of you," kazuha says when you leave. he intertwines your fingers and smiles when he hears you sigh. he brings the back of your hand to his lips. "you held your ground very well, my love."

you roll your eyes fondly. "i always hold my ground, loser. thank you for helping me."

kazuha is your better half in every sense of the word. he's your anchor as you traverse the seas -- the one permanent thing you have in your ever changing life. he kisses the back of your hand again. "next time though, let's try to keep the swearing to a minimum, yeah?"

you roll your eyes again. "never gonna fucking happen."

kazuha squints at you. "do i have to take drastic measures in order for you to stop?"

you laugh. "do your worst, pretty boy."

xiao takes out one headphone at your words and shakes his head. "no, go ahead." he gestures subtly to the seat beside him for you to sit and shuffles over some more when you do.

the trains are usually packed whenever you do your daily commute to and from classes everyday. you'd tried your best to plan your schedule around rush hour, but there were no other times available for the classes you needed, so you had to settle for what was being offered. the crowding and heavy foot traffic does very little to improve your mood for the day, but it's not all bad when you get to see xiao on the way home.

you've had a crush on xiao since the end of your freshman year. he made a name for himself amongst his fellow music majors and professors as a prodigy since he's well-versed in musical history, theory, and overall talent. his good looks only helped boost his popularity with the other students, and soon enough you, along with several others, found themselves weak to xiao's silent charm. you consider yourself to be one of his luckier admirers though, since you're the only one who's been riding the same train with him for over two years now.

the only real problem is that you've never been able to talk to him one-on-one. you have mutual friends which pushed you two together on occasion, but never have you actively sought him out for conversation unless absolutely necessary; you preferred to admire xiao from afar -- or at least as far as hu tao would let you whenever she hosted gatherings.

you squeeze yourself into the end seat beside xiao, willing your heart to slow down when you feel how warm he is next to you. "thanks," you say, smiling a little when he gives you a small nod.

you wish you could say you had some magical moment with your crush on a crowded train, but you can't. after you sit, nothing happens; you and xiao just sit in silence as your train speeds through the city to your respective destinations. you notice that xiao still had one headphone out and for a second, consider telling him that you recognize the song he's listening to, but you think against it; what if he thinks you're weird for paying attention to his music in the first place? his music is loud, but you don't want to come across as nosy, so you stay silent.

honestly, the silence is nice. the rest of the train car is surprisingly quiet, and as the events of the day begin to weigh on you, you feel your eyelids starting to get heavy. you blink twice slowly before giving up and shutting your eyes. you've slept a few times on the train before, so this shouldn't be a problem, right?

xiao nudges you gently, making you jump. "s-sorry," you stammer as though you were in the wrong.

he shakes his head. "no, that wasn't..." the harsh screeching of the train stopping makes him pause for a second, then: "i was going to ask if you wanted to listen since you're nodding off."

your cheeks warm. you look down to see him handing you an ear bud and then back up at his face. xiao isn't the most expressive guy, so you don't know what you were expecting to see, but his golden eyes are fixed on you which makes you look away quickly to pretend you didn't make eye contact at all. this should be fine, right? you two aren't exactly strangers -- this is fine. just friends being friends.

...right?

"are you sure?" you ask, hestiantly taking the earbud. your fingers brush and you recoil a bit. "i don't wanna bother you or anything--"

"if you were bothering me, i would have ignored you when you asked to sit." xiao's words are as blunt as ever. he has a point, even if he's a little too brash in his approach. but here you were, sitting here with your heart hammering away in your chest anyways. "do you want to listen or not?" he asks again.

fearing that you were annoying him, you nod quickly and put the earbud in, your brows furrowing as you tried to make out what song was playing. when you ask xiao about the song that comes to mind, he turns his eyes back to his phone. "do you not like this one?" he asks.

"no, no, it's fine!" you raise a hand to stop him. "it's alright, really. thank you."

xiao gives you a grunt in response and then... nothing. you're back to square one, sitting in silence with your crush as you ride home. the music doesn't ease your nerves the way you thought it would. you can still feel xiao pressed against your side and you're listening to his music; something he likes that he thought you'd like -- something he was willing to change just for you.

you're not sure how you got to this point, but you're pretty sure your crush on him just got worse.

not only does the music not help your nerves, but it doesn't help your drowsiness either. when the next song starts, you close your eyes and try to focus on the music in hopes that the beat would wake you up, but it doesn't. you're asleep in almost no time at all, your head nodding as the train shambles quickly along the tracks.

xiao, who's been watching you from his peripheral for the past couple of minutes, sighs when he sees your head jerk backwards. he's not sure what he was hoping would happen when he offered his headphone to you. he made up the lie of keeping you awake on the spot. he'd actually been meaning to do something like this ages ago; sharing music with others was his way of expressing his fondness for them, be it through the lyrics or melodies, since he wasn't the best at words of affirmation. part of him hoped you'd have picked up on that by now, but judging by the way you seemed to fear him still, he still had a long way to go before he got that message across.

beside him, your head thuds against the wall behind your head and you scrunch your face in pain with a quiet groan, but you don't wake. xiao hesitates for a second before he brings his hand up and pulls you down against his shoulder. xiao tries to reason with himself for being so impulsive -- he's just trying to keep you from hitting your head again, that's all. but when you hum and lean into him a little more, he finds himself stuck.

you seemed to be afraid of him enough as it was; every time you met up, you'd avoid his eyes or cut conversations shorter than they needed to be. just a few minutes ago you shrunk back from his touch like he'd burned you, leaving him clueless. he has no idea what he did to make you act like this around him, especially since he's gone out of his way to make his feelings for you as unnoticeable as possible.

as you slumber on his shoulder, xiao wonders if you would hate him for touching you like this if you found out. again, he sighs. maybe if he was more obvious, you wouldn't act the way you do around him. he rolls his eyes. he swore he would never ask zhongli for advice, but the longer he thinks about it, the more he realizes he may not have a choice.

because if this is what it's like to be so close to you on the regular, if you were always this cozy, then... maybe xiao would have to be greedy just this once.

you feel your boyfriend freeze in your arms. you don't often hear him hesitate, but you hear it now, in the way he takes just a second too long to answer your question.

"i am not," he answers cautiously. he starts to relax in your hold. "why... are you asking?"

a lightbulb flickers to life in your head. kazuha is normally never so... careful with his words. when he is, he's subtle about it; he's not one to let someone know what he's thinking right off the bat. but his efforts to conceal his thought process are failing horribly -- he's too stiff in your arms and his voice too thin. it doesn't take a genius to know that he's lying.

a slow smirk spreads across your face. "i was just curious." you say. "are you sure, though?"

kazuha clears his throat and rests his hands on yours. you take that as a sign to start rocking side to side with him in your arms. "why wouldn't i be sure?" he hums the question and leans his head back against you.

you press your lips together to stifle a laugh. he's clearly letting down his guard because it seems like he has no idea that you've figured out his lie. in his defense, it was a shitty lie; it's nothing substantial, but he didn't make a very good effort to mask it. maybe if he'd tried just a little harder, you two wouldn't be in this situation.

you slide your fingers away from his and plant them on his sides. the two of you stop rocking and immediately, kazuha is tense again. you even think you heard him gasp just now. "something wrong, kazu'?" you snicker.

kazuha clears his throat a second time. "no." he tries to move your fingers, but you press down on his sides and he squirms. "you're... doing this on purpose." he turns his head to look at you, his eyes narrowed.

"i've no idea what you're on about." you tickle his sides lightly and sure enough, kazuha snorts and tries to wiggle out of your grasp. you don't let him move an inch and continue your assault, giggling when peals of laughter bubble out of him.

"no, st-stop!" kazuha tries weakly. he tries to bend over to get you to stop, but it ends with him slowly sinking to the floor. you go along with him, keeping him pressed against your chest. he goes limp in your hold once you two are on the ground, though he tries in vain to curl himself into a ball. "d-dove, please, n-no more--!" he laughs, lightly swatting at your hands.

you laugh heartily and give him some relief. you stop tickling him but don't move your fingers. as kazuha catches his breath, you twitch your hands just to hear him wheeze a soft no. "you're so cute," you coo at him. "why didn't you tell me you were ticklish?"

kazuha slides lower so that he's laying with his head in your lap. now that you can see his face, you can't help but laugh at the pink that's high on his cheeks as he glares at you. "you know very well why i didn't tell you." he huffs. despite his attempt to look intimidating, you think kazuha looks adorable like this. he must be able to tell that you're not taking him seriously, because the pink darkens to a red as the two of you stare at each other. "don't look at me like that." he grumbles.

"like what?" you shrug, a cocky grin on your face. "i think this is a nice change. how does it feel to be on the other end of it, hm?"

your boyfriend opens his mouth to say something, but you bend down and kiss his nose before he can. he gapes at you for a moment before turning his eyes away. "i have mixed feelings about it." he grumbles. kazuha spares you a quick glance, his brows furrowing when he sees the shit-eating grin still on your face. "you're going to do this again, aren't you?"