can we please talk about jiang yuelou and chen yuzhi?
if you told me a couple of months ago that i wouldn't get over a series about a hot-tempered policeman and a gentle doctor, i wouldn't have believed you. however, here i am and i cannot fathom the fact that this series is so underrated. the chemistry, the whole plot, the characters: chen yuzhi, jiang yuelou, chu ran, yu tangchun, among many others, are so well-built and i think that just for this, it deserves more recognition.
BUT, i’m solely here to talk about these two. can we appreciate how beautiful their relationship is? i am aware that they fall under the bromance trope, but you cannot convince me they are merely close friends, not when the whole series is based on a bl novel. although they start off a bit hostile (i know, i know), the evident infatuation jiang yuelou develops towards chen yuzhi and vice versa is so romantic. he finds everything the doctor does endearing, from his quiet surprises to the way he’s always trying to help him psychologically. yuelou suffers emotionally due to his bipolar disorder, with violent outbursts and unstability that makes him throughout the series, you get to know that yuelou is not the kind of person to seek help, that he would rather confront everything by himself than ask guidance. yet, somehow — he always comes to yuzhi when he’s uneasy or confused. it’s not a secret in the police bureau either, song rong and sun yongren (the most loyal characters i’ve seen in a series, i have to say) are pretty much aware of his liking towards yuzhi’s company. even jin dacheng himself insinuated that both of them didn’t have an innocent relationship at all.
the hugs, the touches, THE LOOKS! oh my goodness, their stares were the death of me. i am the kind of person who never skips initial and final credits, so i was very eager to know the hospital scene that happens at the very end of the credits, because i was sure it would become my favourite. i was right and i won’t forget the feeling i was experiencing: the look of relief on yuelou to see yuzhi alive before his eyes, but being on the verge of tears because he knew yuzhi almost didn’t make it? it's a mixture between guilt, relief and love, all in one. absolutely delightful. it’s a repetitive pattern though: yuzhi gets in trouble, yuelou goes crazy and once he’s safe in his arms again, it’s like a part of yuelou’s soul is being reassured that the most important person in his life is alive, safe and sound. because, oh my… in the novel, yuelou considers the doctor his zhī jǐ: a person who understands him deeply no matter what, similar to a soulmate. thanks to an user on tumblr and their translations, i could get to know that, in the audiodrama, yuelou’s feels go beyond platonic. “you’re more significant than friends. people touch you, it’s the same thing as them going after my life.” THIS IS SO RAW AND EMOTIONAL, I’M GOING TO FAINT. the fact that even when yuelou and yuzhi were in danger, as zhan junbai was watching them over, yuelou straight up says: (on my own words, as my memory has been failing me lately)
“is there something between us that can’t be said? we're of the same mind.” i’m so... give me a minute, please *inaudible screams and screeches*
one thing i noticed a lot while watching the series is the fact yuzhi is a very gentle, soft-spoken and intelligent character, which already makes him likable (oh, i LOVE kind-hearted characters) but when you see him through yuelou’s pov — slow motioned movements, timid dimpled smiles, a person whose demeanour is described as pure even — he becomes even more lovable and that’s how yuelou sees yuzhi. how crazy in love yuelou must be to stare at yuzhi while doing mundane things, such as having dinner together? absolutely not focusing on the plate underneath him. instead, grinning with doe eyes as he watches yuzhi looking at the snowy night. ROMANTICISM ON ITS PEAK.
however, for me, the most special thing is to see yuzhi reassuring yuelou by holding his hand so dearly, by hugging him out of relief to see him alive too, by cradling his hand on yuelou’s cheek to brush his tears away. THE ENDING, I CAN’T CONTINUE MY LIFE AND PRETEND NOTHING HAPPENED.
yuzhi is slowly passing away on the other’s arms. yuzhi always wants to be near him and it gets highlighted in his final words, he was too wishing to eat tang yuan with now commissioner jiang yuelou. even on death, he’s under the snow with him. even on death, yuelou’s fondest memories are with chen yuzhi, for he keeps their photo together close to his heart despite grieving his absence and having to take care of yuzhi’s little sister. yuelou simply sits on his home all alone, with the emptiest eyes which once had the entire galaxy shared with yuzhi. not moving, not doing anything. i felt like i was mourning with yuelou, i will never forget how he quietly lays down beside yuzhi’s body while crying his heart out when he realized the inevitable.
WHY? WHY IS THE ANGST SO BRILLIANT WITH THEM? THE LONGING, THE YEARNING, THE LOVE. i’m afraid i won’t enjoy anything that doesn’t remind me of them. there was a before and an after in me, it literally reseted my entire smooth brain.
everyone, go watch killer and healer. 37 episodes are definitely worth the time!
just look at them, i will respectfully combust.
