First, I want to type how challenging it is for me to actually recollect all my thoughts. I fear everyday about the future, and haven't fully consider the options in front of me already.

There are time when I want to control every aspect in my life by the finest millisecond of what I can accomplish. But, I continue to fail. Which I fail to remind myself of His promises for me.

I want to be a father, a journalist, a radio announcer, and someday a husband, but I cannot do any of those without Christ.

For the longest, when I was younger I would pray and ask for assertive and ability to not be shy.

Despite how much of an outcast I was in society, I still try to find myself to "fit in" because in my heart I wanted to be a friend to others who really needed one.

Here I am, almost 30 and I still fail at being assertive and shy - although, I've talk more now than before.

I understand we all have bruises, and they need to be healed.

As adults, we find our way to self-medicate with self-help books, indulge in social media, drink alcohol until we vomit, consume drugs to find an experience, or search for another faith learning later that all such things consumed were meaningless.

I can't understand anyone's pain but my own.

However, I can explain this fact: God is there with us. And it is true. He allow us to have a choice to do what we want.

For the longest I have been holding on something to get away from a situation I am sometimes not proud to be in.

That is getting away from my family.

Here is the reality. My parents, brother and sister made their choices. And so did I. But, I can't throw them on the judgement chair all of the time expect them to change instantly. I am sure patience was dawn on me too for a short amount of time from them.

So, this is what I would tell 'little Alonzo' :

Listen here, pup!

You are strong! You are bold. Don't anyone tell you that you are not. Don't let the negativity of others get to you. They are going through a spiritual crisis themselves, and they need help just like you. You'll learn later on in life.

Always bring life to others, no matter what. Jesus always made the opportunity to be kind to other, but he always made a plan to tell the TRUTH.

Don't be afraid of telling the TRUTH. Even when it hurts.

Truth is never supposed to feel nice. Don't worry about hurting people feelings. They'll get over it. Another day will always happen.

When something is not right. Speak up. Don't let another day be wasted by not speaking the truth.

And laugh! Laugh so much about many things that it hurts. Life is going to be painful, and life can be filled with joy. However, in the long run keep enduring the race. And never get to caught trying to be something your not. Meet you goals, but stay focused with Christ in mind, mini-me.

Best,

Adult Alonzo

Whoever is still reading this, I hope you find peace in your storm.

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