#youngmum

Self-care has to be one of the most neglected terms used when becoming a parent. You spend all your time running around making meals, doing the washing, changing nappies, that you have zilch amount of time to put into your own personal wellbeing. Or sometimes, its just easier to use that excuse, the “Oh, I never have enough time in the day to do nice things for myself.”. But maybe we just don’t know where to start, or we just put it aside as something that doesn’t matter. When becoming a mum, everyone else’s responsibilities and wellbeing become before your own, so rather than putting ourselves first occasionally, it’s easier to just put our own self-care aside, even if it would only take 10 minutes out of your day. As if you don’t matter. But you DO MATTER. And looking after your mind and body can make all the difference to your day, yourself and to your relationship with your child.

YOU ARE NOT SELFISH

Self-Care IS NOT selfish, it’s necessary. After all this time spent caring for someone else, it feels selfish to even think about taking 10 minutes out of the day for yourself. Crazy, right? Like, we have actually adapted to the state of mind that we just simply don’t matter, and everything else comes before our own health and wellbeing. Every night you go to bed thinking about what you will do better tomorrow to make your kids or partners lives easier and better. But do you ever think about what you are going to do for yourself?

“Taking care of yourself doesn't mean me first, it means me too.”

YOU ARE IMPORTANT

Read that again.

IT IS OKAY. It is okay to simply just sit and breathe for a small 10 minutes. You are worth the small amount of time that it takes to focus on yourself. It is important for you to nurture your own wellbeing and look out for your own happiness for once.

You are important.

“When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.”

BUT WHY IS SELF-CARE SO IMPORTANT?

It gives you a break from stress

The constant flow of chores that get thrown at you every day can load a filthy weight on your shoulders. Simply by taking a break, you are opening yourself up to letting go of all that’s holding you down. Finding a sense of relaxation, and looking after yourself will allow you to re-enter your day feel refreshed and will actually elevate your happiness.

It gives you time alone

Time alone can feel completely out of reach when you are a parent. You aren’t even aloud to go empty your bowels without your toddler asking you a million questions or pulling on your arm for a drink or to find their stuffed animal. So when can you find that short stretch of time for yourself? As soon as they’ve hit the hay, ACT ON IT. Go have a warm bath, light a candle, add some bubbles, rest your head back, and breathe. But what if they wake up? If this a worry that stops you, do something more quick and simple! Sit on the floor, couch or even your bed, cross your legs, straighten your back, and simply take deep breaths in and out for 10 minutes. Don’t think about your phone, don’t think about the kids, don’t think about what you are going to make your kids for breakfast in the morning, and don’t think about all the washing that hasn’t been done for 3 days. Enjoy this time ALONE with yourself.

With Love,

I’m nineteen and pregnant,

And all I can think about

Is how my mother will react.

I know she’s going to shout.

I know sorry wont fix anything,

But maybe this baby will be a good thing.

I will love my son endlessly.

Who cares if I don’t have a wedding ring?

I see the looks of disgust I’m given

When I walk into the store.

I will simply smile and wave,

Although their behaviour shook me to the core.

What has the world come to?

Why can’t people just be kind?

These are the people that motivate me

To teach my son how to have an open mind.

I’m shamed by society

Because of my young age.

Thankfully, with (some) family and friends by my side,

My fears are quickly assuaged.

I know I will make mistakes along the way.

Hell, some may think I have already.

All I have to say to you

Is that your comments are really unnecessary.

Why don’t you send positivity instead?

I could’ve really used it.

All I needed was a friendly smile

When I thought I was going to lose it.

“Wait- how old are you?”

Is the never-ending question.

I always look away as I answer.

I don’t want to see your facial expression.

I’m twenty now.

I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy.

Never has my heart felt so divided

With a mixture of anxiety and joy.

I still get looks when I go out with my baby.

I cringe when they ask if he’s my brother.

I’m quite offended and utterly embarrassed

As I quietly whisper “No. I’m his mother.”

Please don’t judge me as a mum,

I’m just as qualified as you.

Yes, I’m young and had “so much ahead of me,”

But my dreams I still pursue.

My son has not “ruined my life.”

He’s actually opened my eyes.

For now I see roses where there were once weeds

And my happiness has reached an all time high.

Society has taught me to be ashamed.

Why? I am rich in happiness and health.

I’ve let my insecurities go now,

For I am unapologetically myself.

Life in lockdown where do I begin. What a stressful first few months it was ciaos the cues for shops. Everyone growling at you if you as much as coughed beside them. It was nothing I ever experienced before in my whole entire life. Me and Zak spent most of lockdown just baking cakes or having movie days he was 2-year-old at this point so I had no clue what to do with him as he was always bored! So, summer came and Zak finally got his placement at nursery ready I was ready more than ever to go back to college and stick to it for the sake of it’s the best thing for us and knowing this is what my gran really wants me to do I put the head down and started Level 5 Events.

Our life consisted of going to the nursery back to do zoom calls for college then doing nursery runs and staying in the rest of the night for dinners and baths for the next day but we got ourselves into a good routine and we eventually made it work.

So a bit about me... i'm a mother (to both children and dogs!), disney obsessed, book worm and was almost certainly born in the wrong era. Documentary enjoyer, unfortunate muggle, dollhouse enthusiast and believer in love.

Since having my first child in my late teens, I feel like I've been having some kind of identity crisis, which affects me in every day life. I adore my children dont get me wrong, but feel like I am so much more than just a mother. I am my own person, with my own personality and I point blank refuse to grow old never having enjoyed those experiences most go through in early adulthood.

I will get to experience all those things; being absolutely mortal having a great night with friends, travelling, making spontaneous decisions and most importantly, having a shower without "Mummy ___ is crying!". For me itll just be a bit later in life.

As I'm sure everyone does, I've certainly got a lot going on. I'm hoping writing my thoughts and questions may make things ever so slightly easier!

Shediary4 x