#youngbin fluff

A cup of tea, a quick shoulder massage, even just a small smile is enough to make you feel better. You recall when he noticed your dress was making you uncomfortable while you were meeting with important envoys from a neighbouring kingdom. As your guard, it is only his job to keep you safe, but as your betrothed, keeping you comfortable is just as important.

He had slipped behind you and discreetly loosened the laces on your gown, making sure the boning wasn’t digging into your skin and you had enough room to breathe freely. No one in the room ever noticed that anything was amiss. You never got a chance to thank him, but he never needed you to. He does these small things without being asked, and without looking for anything in return. He does them simply because that’s how he is. It’s one of his ways of loving you silently—in a way that only you and him can understand or even notice.

It’s another afternoon filled with far too many tasks than seems reasonable or manageable for just one person. The desk in front of you holds multiple large stacks of papers and letters. Some are trade offers or invitations to formal events. Others hold complaints or notices for the kingdom that need careful responses. And too many for your liking are offers of marriage from distant princes or kings.

At least those are easy to sort through. You hand them off to Youngbin one by one, letting him tear them into little pieces and dispose of them. They all get the same letter of refusal in response. One that has been drafted up for months now; ever since Youngbin claimed your heart and your hand.

Youngbin dismisses the first time you tilt your head in what looks like discomfort. You could just be stretching. He might have read your expression wrong.

But he also notes that you’re taking too long to read the letter in front of you. He’s read it through three times already, yet your eyes seem to not have left the third line yet.

Your eyebrows are furrowed, and you shut your eyes a bit too tightly to pass off as nothing. Youngbin decides to step in, even if he expects you'll wave him off and dismiss his concern in an instant.

“Are you alright, princess?”

You do dismiss him without missing a beat. You shake your head and force your eyes open, drawing them back to the page that seems to be torturous for you to get through. The breath you let out a moment later is a bit too shaky for him to ignore. His hand twitches to hold yours, but he restrains himself. 

“Are you in pain, your highness?”

“I’m fine, Youngbin. You don’t need to worry,” you tell him gently. His face shows he doesn’t buy it, but when you flash him a quick smile he seems to relax slightly.

You know your acting can only get you so far when faced with his attentiveness. Barely ten minutes pass before he notices you shifting in your chair and decides he won't let you pretend everything is normal anymore.

“Y/n, you’ve been reading the same letter for the past fifteen minutes, and you look uncomfortable. I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s wrong.”

You sigh in defeat, and then you wince, not expecting the pain to hit when it did.

“It wasn’t supposed to come yet.” You glance up at Youngbin. “I thought I still had a few days. My monthly…” you trail off, hoping he gets what you’re referring to without you having to embarrass yourself further.

You shouldn’t be embarrassed, especially not in front of him, but you can’t help shrinking in on yourself at having to admit it. It’s not your monthly cycle that you feel ashamed about, it's the thought of all the work still needing to be done today. If you take the rest of the day off, it will all get delayed until tomorrow, or even later. You don’t want to be the reason responses are sent out late and issues stay unresolved. 

Youngbin can't watch while you push through the pain, though. He nods in understanding at your discreet explanation and immediately springs into action.

"You should rest in your bedchamber. I'll have the nurse bring tea and lavender. You should put some heat on it to ease the pain. Sleep would do you good as well," he says, "I'll sort through the rest of these letters while you rest."

You grab his wrist, stopping him before he continues to monologue. 

"I don't need the nurse… or the tea. But I would like you to stay," you tell him softly. Youngbin quiets immediately. His fingers slip between yours, thumb caressing the back of your hand.

"Alright. Whatever you wish."

He smiles fondly, and the simple look seems to numb the pain just slightly. He folds up the letter that had been tormenting you and straightens the stacks on the desk. Your steps are silent as you navigate through the corridors back to your room. You put on the same practiced smile and perfect posture each time you pass someone in the halls. Youngbin trails behind you, face stone-cold, curt bows given to court officials on the way. 

When you reach your bedchambers, the mask slips off you. Youngbin leads you to the bed, and you don't bother holding back your grimaces from the pain. 

Silently, he unclasps your gown, pulling it off your figure. You're left in your undergarments as you slip under the covers. Youngbin sets your dress across the back of one of the armchairs.

"Are you sure I can't call for the nurse? You look pale," he says quietly, concern lacing his tone. You shake your head.

"Stay. I'll rest better if you're here."

"Yes, your highness."

"Not as my guard, Youngbin. I want you to stay as you."

You watch his eyes soften when you say his name. Although the entire palace knows of your engagement, the relationship between you will stay as princess and guard until your wedding day. That was the agreement the king proposed when Youngbin asked for your hand. 

Youngbin is dedicated to his job of protecting you, which makes it nearly impossible for him to leave those responsibilities around you. He's always on guard, even when you tell him not to. But today is one of those rare occasions that you seem to have gotten your wish. Youngbin doesn't protest. His stubbornness, which you have reasons to both love and hate, fades for the moment, and he silently gives in to your request.

His weight dips the mattress as he sits down. You grab his hand, tracing over his veins and the dips after each knuckle. His skin is warm and his palms hold callouses from years of sword fighting. 

"Hold me," you tell him, closing your eyes. He shifts, gathering you in his arms and resting against the pillows. 

His steady breaths distract from the ache in your head and the dull pain in your stomach. It only takes a few minutes for him to lull you to sleep. For you, his arms are the safest place in the world. 

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This had been going on for who knows how long at this point, and you were starting to get tired. Literally and figuratively. You were sleeping less because he was never home, and when he was he'd arrive early and then leave before you were up. You were so sick and tired of going to bed without him, waking up without him. It felt like you were slowly shutting down, your routine becoming robotic.

You sighed, running a hand through your hair before checking the time.

03:00

"A bath couldn't hurt..." You mumbled to yourself, walking to your bathroom and starting up the water. By the time you had gotten into the bath fifteen minutes had already passed, a towel situated on top of your pajamas which were sitting on the lid of your toilet. Your head was facing the ceiling, neck on full display. You had been staring at the ceiling for the entirety of the five minutes that you'd been in the bath. You heard footsteps and turned your head to the bathroom door, listening for the noise on the other side.

"Y/N?"

"In the bath." You said in a sing-song voice, meeting Youngbin's eyes as soon as he opened the door to the bathroom. He arched a brow as he walked inside, closing the door behind him with a gentle click, walking over and crouching down by the tub.

"Why're you in the bath this late?" He asked quietly, studying your face while gently running his fingers through your hair. You leaned into his touch with an aching heart, sighing slowly.

"I couldn't sleep and needed to think..."

"About what?"

"Oh, this and that.. Nothing important." You opened your eyes and smiled at him tiredly. He nodded after a moment of contemplation, standing up to leave. As he took hold of the doorknob he stood in the doorway, looking at you with questioning eyes.

"I'll be waiting for you. Don't take too long or you might catch a cold." You nodded with a smile as he left once more, leaning your head back as a tear trickled down your cheek.

When you finally got into bed it was 03:45 and your fingers had started wrinkling from sitting in the water too long. You turned your back to Youngbin, pulling the covers up to your chin with your knees pulled into your chest, laying in a fetal-position.

You were surprised when he slung an arm around your waist, pulling you into his chest. You had to hold back your tears. It had been weeks since he had last held you like this. It felt like it had been weeks since you had even felt his skin against yours. It was only after you took a deep breath to calm yourself that you realized he smelt of perfume.

Your heart broke but you ignored it. You'd pick up the pieces tomorrow morning.

It was a few hours later; you could tell because it was lighter outside and Youngbin was no longer holding you. You could still feel his presence however, so you guessed that he was sitting somewhere.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I think I'll have to come a bit later today." You heard him say under his breath, loud enough for whoever he was calling to hear but not loud enough to wake you, had you been sleeping. You caught only a few words here and there that the girl on the other line said, the volume not loud enough to hear more.

"I can't come sooner. I'll just spend this one evening with her and then we'll be right back to routine." He whispered again, his fingers trailing up and down your spine, making you shiver.

"Yeah, okay. Mhm. I love you too."

You bit down on your lip, forcing yourself not to shake. Forcing yourself not to cry and not to break down. Not now, you told yourself. You wouldn't break down. He would pity you. You didn't need his pity.

A few more minutes passed as the sun started shining through the curtains. You felt the bed shift as he stood up and closed your eyes as he went to your side of the bed to pull the curtains open.

"Y/N, love? Wake up." He said as he shook you gently. You opened your eyes, trying your best to act as if you had just woken up. He smiled brightly at you, and if you hadn't heard his conversation you probably would've smiled back, oblivious to what had been happening under your nose for the past few weeks. "C'mon. I took the day off work. I wanted to spend today with you. Shall we make breakfast?" You sat up and nodded with the best fake smile you could muster, letting him pull you out of bed and into the kitchen.

You were silent as you helped him make eggs and toast, sitting on the couch and watching a drama while he finished with the eggs.

He was glaring at the eggs as he flipped them, annoyance slowly building as you continued giving him the cold shoulder, not talking to him even once. He spends time with you for the first time in weeks and you don't even utter a good morning to him?

He dishes up the food and instead of taking them to you, he puts it down on the kitchen island, storming in front of you.

"What's wrong with you? You're not even talking to me!" He shouts, grabbing the remote and switching off the TV angrily. You look up at him tiredly, your eyes tearing up as soon as you do.

"Tell me to my face—" You begin in an emotionless voice— "that you are all mine."

Tears stream down your face in hot streaks, racing to see which one can roll to the floor first.

"What... What do you mean?" He stuttered, seemingly dumbfounded into silence. You take a deep breath as you stand up from the couch and take a step towards him, cranking your neck to look him in the eyes.

"I heard your conversation, Youngbin. I should've guessed..." You scoffed, your voice slowly raising in tone, your anger at yourself starting to show. "You're spending less time at home, leaving before I wake up and coming home when I'm asleep. I should've known." He looks at you with a sort of sadness and regret in his eyes that you can't quite place and to make sure that you don't feel bad for him, refuse to acknowledge. "We never even fought, Youngbin. Not once. I was too tired to fight with you." You said, your voice barely above a whisper.

"Listen, Y/N, I was going to tell you—"

"And then what, Youngbin? Give me a heads up that you were cheating and then dump me? Leave?" You said exasperatedly, smiling sadly. His heart wrenched, staying quiet as he had nothing to say. Nothing to make this okay. Make this better.

"Send her my regards, would you? Now if you ever really loved me—" You scoffed, rolling your eyes and shaking your head— "No, if you loved me this wouldn't be happening. If you ever really cared for me, you'll leave my apartment. Send me her address and I'll mail you your things." He was about to protest but you were already pushing him out the door, locking it behind you.

Even though you had been subconsciously preparing for something like this, it didn't stop you from hurting. It hurt like hell, and you were pretty sure that you wouldn't be able to salvage the broken pieces anymore. It would be lost forever. You sat by the door, wailing into the emptiness of your apartment, letting out all of your pain, anger and frustration. He had enough things. You'd burn some of it. You'd get rid of things he gave you. You'd remove him from your memories, and then you'd forget.

You'd forget your heartache and move on.

You'd forget your heartache and heal.

You'd forget your heartache.

You'd forget him.

Youngbin

WORDS 👏 OF 👏 AFFIRMATION 👏

I will literally physically fight if anyone disagrees with me lol. Our man is so wise and sweet and his voice is just is soothing so I just think that his ultimate way to show you appreciation will be through words. Plus man's a great and creative lyricist.

Inseong

Quality time

Well, it's mostly just him trying to make you laugh by saying and making up the stupidest jokes, if you can call them that, ever. I'm also a strong believer that this man just wants to annoy you enough to start a debate with him cuz he's bored lol

Jaeyoon

Physical Touch

Maybe this is me projecting my needs maybe it is not okay idk. But let's be honest here, this man is the cutest ever and he will want to squish your cheeks, irrespective of squishyness quotient. He also likes to hug you, literally engulf you in his broad af chest and baby you although you want to baby him don't we all

Dawon

Acts of service

I just love him sm 😭. See, he's the kind to leave you sweet sticky notes with reassuring words and a drawing or something stupid on the back lol. But yeah it's all the small things that he'll do like buying you a new chapstick before your old one gets over, bringing your water bottle around even when you tell him you won't carry it, letting you use his arm as a pillow during the long car ride to your destination although it definitely hurts after some time, fixing your hair when you're distracted, etc. Bye I need a Sanghyuk

Zuho

Words of Affirmation

He is so much different that Youngbin tho lemme tell you. So Bin uses maturity and juju uses his baby voice(?) aka he does aegyo and makes you feel all mushy inside. I mean, he is cute.

Rowoon

Gift Giving

It won't necessarily be stupid gift all the time, he does give you good ones occasionally like a sunscreen stick for example. Most of the time it is something useless and weird like a spoon pillow or some shit but it's the thought that counts right?💀

But no on a real note he's super thoughtful when he gives you gifts and he thinks of it as something that'll remind you of his love when you use it.

Yoo Taeyang

Acts of Service

It could be doing your laundry or cooking for you or putting you phone on charge. It's the little things that you need in your daily life that sometimes get so difficult to manage. But don't worry, our teddy Tae is here to be your little lovely helper fairy, even if you don't ask or notice it right away.

Hwiyoung

Physical Touch

Yes he hates skinship from members but you, no. He loves clinging to you and hugging you and kissing you. He's like a mama cat and you his kitten and he wants to kith and protecc and love you so much till you physically have to be away from him lol

Chani

Quality Time

Just a few more minutes. You thought to yourself, forcing your eyelids to stay open for a few more minutes so you could jump into your boyfriend's arms when he arrived home after promotions and be the first human being to say ‘happy birthday’ to him. You perfectly knew he was fine with you falling asleep before he arrived home, he even let you know that a few hours ago when you both talked on the phone. “Babe your health is more important and you know that. It’s okay if you don’t say that before everyone else for a year.” He said on the phone, wanting to make sure you would put your health before his birthday. Little did he know you couldn’t sleep in peace if you didn’t say ‘happy birthday first.

It kind of became a habit to say those insignificant words before everyone else when you met him 3 years ago on that karaoke night when you were trying to forget an asshole and he was celebrating his birthday with his friends. For some reason that day you felt the urge to keep in touch with him and, especially, be the one saying ‘happy birthday’ as soon as the clock hands marked midnight, just like if it were the only opportunity you would get to say it before he faded into the thin air. At first it was cute that you had that little habit but as years went by and now you shared an apartment, he couldn’t really understand why you had that innocent urge. Somehow, it felt like he would go away forever if you didn’t pronounce those words before midnight and yes, you were too afraid of losing him now.

“Baby what are you doing here.” A soft and familiar voice while a soft hand caressed your right cheek. You fell into a deep slumber while remembering his words and how you both met, making you feel so guilty for not being able to be as energetic as he was used to seeing you. “I’m so sorry. I really tried to stay awake for you.” You said half asleep, taking his soft hand in yours and caressing it in a lovely way.

Your sleepy eyes finally met his gleaming ones in the dark room, only illuminated by the soft light coming from a little lamp you both bought on your first day of buying furniture for your brandly new apartment. You took a few seconds to admire the amazing man that was sitting on the floor right in front of you, admiring you as well. Once again, you felt the love he held in his galaxy looking like orbs. You couldn’t help your heart rate going faster, not really knowing how to handle so much love and care. Ever since you both met, it felt like the universe finally danced in peace, like all the negative things faded away whenever you both were together. And today, more than any other day, you needed to stare at him so you could feel all your problems and stress from the past few days fade away.

“I love you.” You quietly said out of the blue. His surprised expression made you giggle, he looked so cute whenever he acted surprised when you said those words. But this time, he was really surprised. But you, on the other hand, never said those words as convinced and confident as you did right there. Those kinds of moments are the ones when you notice and realize how much you love him. Not only because he’s handsome but because you love every single thing about his personality and soul. Even those stupid habits that makes you go mad when he forgets to clean a dish or put his hoodies inside the wardrobe. “I love you too.” He finally said, the word sincere written all over his face as he flashed a soft smile and cupped your cheeks to pull you into a soft kiss full of the love you had for each other.

“Don’t you have anything else to say?” He said with a teasing tone as he got in the bed after getting in his comfortable pyjamas and after tugging you into the warm blankets. “Happy birthday, idiot.” You said, smiling widely yet tiredly as you snuggled into his arms and inhaled his beautiful scent that never failed to make you feel at home. “That’s my little star.” He said, tightening his embrace around your cold body, ready to go into deep slumber like you did a few minutes ago while waiting for him.

"Hey! Do you eavesdrop my phone calls?"

She shrugs her shoulders.

"What can I do if I also stay awake till late and the walls are so thin?"

You are blushing a deep tone of red, but you decide pretending you aren't is a good idea.

"Anyways! I've gotta see Youngbin!"

"So you are really going to see him, huh?"

"Stop laughing! I will," you cross your arms across your chest. "Is that a crime?"

"In no way. Please, go see your Binnie," she smirks.

Shit.

"Yes, I will!"

You leave the house and enter your car, a smile lurking through your lips. Your sister could be a little annoying, but the teasing didn't bother you that much if you were being honest with yourself. No, it would be impossible. You have been just too happy the last couple of months to really care. Heck, you couldn't even remember a happiness bigger than the one you were living with everyday now.

You speed up, humming a feel good song as you navigate through the city streets. Soon, you put your phone on the speaker and call Youngbin. Silence.

Weird. He always picks up right away... You call him again, and he finally answers on your third or fourth try.

"Binnie, why didn't you answer?" you chuckle and smile to yourself. "Anyways, let's hang out today? I'm already on my—"

"Y/N," he cuts you, his voice tense. "Today is not a good day for that. Go back home," and then he hangs up.

What? Kim Youngbin never hangs up on anybody. Ever.

You dial his number again.

"What?!" he asks annoyed. "I'm in no humor to put up with you right now. Give me a fucking break!"

And then he hangs up again.

You come back home holding your tears. You are very, very hurt, but above all, you are confused. You have never seen Youngbin be rude to anyone before, let alone you. What was going on?

You enter the house being as silent as you can so not to bring any attention to yourself and lock yourself in your room. You pick your phone and dial Dawon's number, Youngbin's friend and also coworker.

"Hello, Y/N?" he says as he picks up.

"Hey, Dawon."

The phone goes silence for a few seconds.

"Are you alright? Your voice sounds shaky..."

"To be honest, I'm not, Dawon," you sight, trying to keep your voice stable this time. "Youngbin has just been weird. Do you know if anything is going on with him?"

"Oh," you hear him say, his tone not as bright as usual. "I know what it is."

"You do?!" you hold tight onto the phone, as if doing so is going to bring the answer sooner to you.

"Yeah," he confirms. "Today Youngbin hyung got fired, Y/N. Didn't he tell you?"

"F-Fired? He didn't say a word..."

Dawon sights.

"Yeah, he was. They substituted him with someone younger and with a 'fresher outlook'," he explains in a sad voice. "He wasn't the one who told me, though. It was all gossip. Everyone in the office would only talk about this this afternoon."

You look at the window with a frown in your face, thinking about how your boyfriend must be feeling right now.

"Thanks, Dawon. I'll figure something out."

In the next afternoon, you go to Youngbin's apartment and come in using the extra key he keeps under the rug. You are someone who absolutely sucks in the kitchen, but you think it is worth it trying to make a few sandwiches, right? At least you know you can't burn them.

The sun is already setting when you finally hear the door being opened. You go hide in the bedroom right away, peeking through the slightly opened door.

Youngbin enters the apartment wearing a suit, his expression tired. He has probably spent the whole day looking for a job, but you don't know with how much luck. You see him going to the joint kitchen and hold your breath. He makes a surprised face as he sees the sandwiches and the juice jar carefully organized over the white towel on the small wooden table.

"How—" he blinks confused, but doesn't take long to devour everything. Wow, he was probably very hungry. You wonder if he has even had lunch today.

The man goes to the bathroom and closes the door, and you hear the sound of water flowing a few moments after. You leave his room at this moment and go back to the kitchen, where you wait. It is almost torture having to sit still like that, but you do it.

When Youngbin finally emerges from the small corridor, he looks confused at the living room, and you wouldn't really expect something different. He is wearing the clothes you had separated and put over his bed, a comfortable set of sweatshirts and sweatpants. There's no way he's not weirded out by now.

You sight, afraid of his reaction, but you don't give yourself time to hesitate. You walk silently to him and hug him from behind.

"Binnie," you sweetly say to him.

"Ah!" he turns to you, expression completely shocked. "Y/N? What are you—"

You hug him again, this time facing him. You hold him tight, your arms around his waist.

"Don't say anything. I've came to cheer you up, okay?" you whisper to him and take a step back. "Go sit on the sofa. I'm going to make you some popcorn and—"

Youngbin pulls you by the waist to a warm hug.

"You don't say anything," he whispers softly. "Don't take care of me like you have done something wrong. You haven't. I have."

You say nothing. You simply didn't know how to answer.

Youngbin caresses your hair.

"I'm sorry," he says. "I'm the worst boyfriend ever."

"No, you were just stressed out that day, baby. That's it."

"That's no excuse, Y/N," he lets go of the hug and places his hands on your shoulders, his eyes looking deeply into yours. "I'm sorry," he repeats. "I'm sorry for how I've treated you, for what I've said... Put up with you?! Never! You are not a burden, you're a blessing! And if anything, you are the one who has to put up with this idiotic me, the one who needs to have a break," once again, you hold him tight against you. "I-I love you, Y/N, and I don't want to ever lose you," he lets one of his hands touch your face. "Can you forgive me?"

You smile and delicately dry the tears in his eyes with your fingers.

"I already have."

Youngbin gives you a kiss on the forehead and intertwines your fingers together.

"What about we make that popcorn? I'll watch whatever movie you want."

You laugh, heart now beating lightly in your chest.

"Alright. But now that you've said it, you can't go back on your word, okay?"

He smiles and places an arm over your shoulders.

“No silly” He replied, gently flickering your forehead “If I told you, it might not come true though” Youngbin pouted looking down at you, his hand fidgeting with the hem of the hoodie he was wearing.

“But if you tell me I might be able to help you out!” You said entuthiastically, making him smile even more....You were too adorable for this world.

“Fine, close your eyes” He said looking down at you, ignoring the way you arched one eyebrow at him “Close your eyes, I feel to embarrased to say this while you’re looking at me”

“Alright, alright” You said closing your eyes, still smiling as you waited for him to start talking.

Looking at you Youngbin leaned closer to your face, ignoring the way his heart pounded hard against his chest, the closer your lips got. His eyes scanned your features, his cheeks turning red as he decided wether he should kiss you or not but then, you opened your eyes, tired of waiting and to say you were just surprised to find him so close was a total understatement.

Youngbin’s eyes met yours and your heart skipped a beat, your breath getting caught in your throat when his forehead was pressed against yours “W-What are you doing?” You stuttered, face turning as red as a tomato as he smiled even more.

“Do I have to explain it?” He asked quietly, brushing a strand of your hair behind your ear so it wouldn’t get on your face “I’ve liked you for a really reaaaally long time and I think I finally gathered the couraged to confess” Your cheeks only got redder and he loved the way you got so shy at his words “I mean, if this is making you really uncomfortable I’ll just-”

“No” You stopped him, reaching out to gently grip the front of his hoodie, making his smile bigger “I like you too” Your voice was quiet and trembling but you didn’t moved him away when he got closer to you

“Tell me now if this isn’t wha you want” He whispered, brushing his lips against yours, tempting you, teasing you “Because if you let me kiss you, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop myself from getting more”