#young!misha

Lily laughed quietly. She hadn't changed a bit! She always had been very straightforward and told what she thought when she thought it, which often leaded to awkward situations.

“Aw look at you, you're so handsome! And even rich now, from what I understood!” She winked at Misha.

Yeah... Just as Lily predicted... awkward. But she wasn't done, she turned to Lily and cupped her flushing face.

“I thought I would never see this pretty face again! You look so much like your mother! You haven't changed that much... except that weird hair color but whatever.”

Misha snorted and hid his mouth with his hand to not show he wanted to laugh.

“What are you doing now, Lily?” Mrs Jones sat at a table and asked them to join her, while her daughter brought them some drinks.

“I'm a professional violinist at the Seattle Symphony Orchestra.”

The old lady clapped her hand in excitement.

“Oooh that's lovely! I remember you played in the school orchestra indeed! So what brings you busy heads back in our quiet little town?”

Misha was very quiet, but he really enjoyed this little reunion.

“We're actually here to... umm... move on and maybe find some answers. What happened in 1990 is still very blurry for us.” Lily explained.

Mrs Jones was very surprised to learn that they found each other back only a few months ago.

“Really? It didn't tilt when you saw that handsome face in your TV?”

Lily almost sarcastically thanked her for reminding her that she wasted years with Misha because of this, but she knew the old lady meant well.

“I don't... watch TV that much.” She replied shyly and cleared her throat.

Misha decided it was time to step in the conversation to avoid more awkwardness.

“Any chance you could clarify a few details about the night of the fire or what happened next?”

She looked up and squinted her eyes, visibly trying to remember anything she could. "There was an article in the local newspaper the day after it happened. It clearly said that no one from the Hagen family survived. It was a little more vague about your family, Misha, because they didn't clearly name you, but it was obvious for the people who knew you at the time that you all passed. I still have the article if you wanna read it."

Lily glanced at him and nodded.

“That would help us a lot, Mrs Jones. Thank you!”

The old woman asked her daughter to go get the box where she kept every articles about the people she knew (which was a lot!), and finally found what she was seeking and handed it to Lily who put it down on the table between her and Misha so he could read too.

NORTHFIELD : TRAGIC OUTCOME IN HAGEN'S FARM

By Leslie Shepherd.

Fire crews have left the scene of a devastating fire in Hagen's Farm's main house. Half of the property was destroyed.

The fire was extinguished at 6.30am after burning for roughly an hour.

Three persons were taken to hospital to be treated for smoke inhalation and fire wounds, but saddly succumbed to their injuries later in the morning.

The fire is not being treated as suspicious.

We all will remember the Hagen's Family thanks to the very respected Simon Hagen who devoted his whole life to make our county a better place, especially for our children.

His wife, Bethany, is now the last member of this beloved family, as her daughter-in-law Mary (42), granddaughter Elise (16) and grandson Ryan (6) were found dead when the fire crew arrived.

The article was short, but full of lies! Who the hell was so eager to see them all dead and spread that stupid rumor ruining their lives in the process? Misha swore to her he would find out.

Reading this crap made Lily's anger grow.

“They didn't even mention you or any member of your family!”

Misha looked at her and couldn't hide his bitterness.

“You were part of the respected family, we were just nobody. I'm not surprised. But I don't look so bad for someone who succumbed to my injuries in the hospital, right?”

He took a photo of the article with his phone, knowing his mom and Sasha would want to read it too.

“I would really love to find that Leslie Shepherd to ask who she had her information from.”

Lily had to admit she was curious too and the idea was tempting, but they were supposed to go back home the next day and probably would have no time to go to the newspaper's offices.

Mrs Jones stood up to head back to her kitchen.

“I will help you if you need to. I was very sad to know Bethany was all alone when obviously it wasn't true.”

Lily thanked the old woman and quickly explained what they did and where they went after the fire, and they finally ordered their meal.

They ate quickly and went to buy camping supplies before going back to the farm. Thankfully, it was late August, the days were still long, so it wasn't dark when they arrived. Misha parked the car at the end of the road, near the wooden sign, and they were now standing on the cross path between the pond and the cottage, with their suitcases and all of their stuff. "So... Where do you wanna sleep?" Misha asked playfully, the excitement in his voice was almost palpable. "I already know what you're gonna reply, but I'd say in safety inside the cottage?" He glanced at her sideways with a smirk. "And what am I going to reply, smartass?" She lowered her voice trying to imitate his sarcastic tone, puppetting her hand and lolling her head at the same time. "Oh come on, Lily that's the easy way, where is your adventurous side? We need to sleep in the cold night among the spiders and the rats!" He burst out laughing at her lame imitation. "Bats and Raccoons too!" He mocked. She slapped his arm.

"I hate ya! What other crazy plan do you propose?" He rubbed his arm, pretending she hurt him. "No need for such violence! I thought we could just lay on the grass in the house's backyard or something. Or maybe near the willow tree? Like we did for your twelfth birthday, you know... back when you weren't a woosie..." "Oh right, I remember that night. I particularly enjoyed the snake paying me a visit in my sleeping bag. Good times!" His brows raised and his face lightened with a huge grin. "Are you sure it was a snake?" She frowned and innocently looked at him, confused. "What else could it b-" She paused and opened her mouth wide, inhaling in shock. "Oh you dog! We were way too young for that!" He laughed, crinkling his nose which accentuated his wrinkles and she couldn't help smiling back at him, thinking it was the cutest thing she'd ever seen. He had always been cute, or at least that's what she thought, but he really aged up well. Misha started to walk towards the pond and she followed, dragging her feet. "Remind me to take a smaller suitcase next time!" She huffed carrying all of her stuff and pulling at her suitcase. "Stop complaining, we're almost there!" "Why did we take all of our stuff with us since we're going to sleep outside anyway?" "Because rule number one: Never let anything behind in a car, especially when it's a rental car." When they arrived at the pond, Misha put his stuff down in the small waterfront cabin. " Right, because leaving our stuff in the nature like that is so much safer..." "Lily..." She heard his threatening voice and stopped settling her bags to turn around and look at him, not liking this tone too much. As soon as she made eye contact, he grabbed her by the hips and lifted her on his shoulder. "You will learn to behave."

Oh no not again!

He walked towards the small pier and she understood what he had in mind. "Oh my god, Misha, no! I'm sorry! I will be nice! Promise!" He kept walking with her struggling on his shoulder, slapping his back. "Noooo!!! Please! I'm so so sorry! I won't complain anymore! It's gross in there!! I'll stink like rotten mud!!" He ignored her protest and her kicks. "It's called nature scent. You'll fit in perfectly after that, animals won't bother you tonight.”

When he stepped on the pier, he tried to lift her to throw her in the water but she gripped tight on his shirt, almost ripping it.

“Please noooooooo! I'll do what you want! It's full of frogs and fishes and... Oh god please no!!”

“Yeah, and sharks. I can't be bought, no need to bargain.”

He managed to grab her wrists to keep her from clinging to him, and he finally threw her in the cold dark green and smelly water. She splashed in it in a glorious “Aaahhhh!” and Misha took his phone out while she was swimming in the surface, swiping her sticky hair out of her face and spiting water in a cough.

That was priceless!

He was breathless but he managed to laugh anyway.

“You're dead, Krushnic! Oh Jesus fucking Christ, it's fucking cold... and gross!”

She couldn't get out of the water by the pier that was too high, and as the water was deep where they were, she had to swim to reach for the beach and get out.

Misha was still on the pier with his phone in his hand.

“Don't take pictures!!” she yelled.

He chuckled.

“I'm not!”

“I see you! Oh god you better run fast because when I get out- AAAAAAAAAAAH!!! I felt something on my leg!!!”

“It's a shark! Swim faster!” He was now giggling hysterically.

Lily ran out of the water and laid on the grass a few seconds to catch her breath, before standing up and walking towards Misha with a deadly look on her face.

“Put that damn phone away!”

“Say hi, you're live!”

She froze. “WHAT???”

Oh no he didn't...

“2568 people watching right now. They say hi, by the way!”

She ran next to him and tried to catch his phone, but of course he extended his arm high up to film from above, and as he was much taller, she couldn't reach it despite her jumps.

“Alright guys, I got a situation here, I gotta go. Wish me luck. Bye!”

Misha ended the livestream and threw his phone in his pocket.

As they were still on the pier, Lily suddenly pushed him, but he resisted and her attempt to give him the same treatment failed miserably. He ran away from the pier but she followed. She kept chasing him as they were now running up the path towards the cottage, but she forgot he was a fast runner and she soon got out of breath.

She had an idea though...

When he turned to look back at her, she pretended to fall and stayed down, trying to catch her breath. He immediately stopped in his track and ran back.

“Lily!” He screamed, worried she might've hurt herself.

Oh Misha... SO predictable!

He crouched down when he was next to her. She sat on the grass and gave him a devilish gaze.

“You're weak, Krushnic...”

He understood she played him and winced.

“And you... have a tiny frog on your shoulder.”

She jumped.

“AAAAAAAHHH!!!! GET IT OFF!!!”

She looked at her shoulders but saw nothing. When she turned back at Misha, he was laying down holding his stomach, laughing his ass off.

“What are you, twelve?”

“You deserved it. I told you, you will learn to behave.”

She looked down at herself and pouted.

“I'm wet.”

All Misha could answer was “Mmmh...” suggestively, so she squinted at him and turned back to reach the waterfront cabin and go change.

While she was busy changing into a dry pair of jeans and a sailor shirt, Misha found the main power switch and tried to turn it on because the night was now falling fast so they'd soon be in the dark. It surprisingly worked after a few tries, and the lights around the pound and inside the cabin turned on.

“I'm impressed, MacGyver!”

He smirked but didn't say anything, searching through the bags he brought from the store.

“I think we need a little treat now.” He triumphantly showed the marshmallow pack.

“Oooh... sounds great. How do you plan to do that?”

“Well... we need a fire.”

From all the stupid things he said since she knew him, it was probably the lamest.

“You can't be serious.”

He stopped picking up rocks from the ground to stare into her eyes.

“Deadly.”

Was he pushing her to fight or something? She really didn't like that idea!

“This is the stupidest idea of all time.”

“Why? Just because you're scared?”

She scoffed. “I'm not!”

He arranged a few rocks into a circle and put some wood and dry herbs inside before searching his bag for a lighter.

“Yeah, you are!”

She looked around her... They were in the nature, among grass and dry herbs and trees, what could go wrong?

“Okay maybe I am... but have you looked around you? That's a bad idea.”

“I know what I'm doing.” He replied while crouching down.

He lighted the fire and when she saw the flames and smelled the smoke, she panicked and said the meanest, cruelest and dumbest thing ever, regretting it the second it split out of her mouth.

“If it turns bad, I'll let you burn this time.”

Stunned, Misha stood up and looked away from the fire to stare at her and shake his head, only to see her with both her hands slapped on her mouth and her eyes wide open, a look of horror in her glassy green eyes.

“I'm sorry... Misha...” she whispered shamefully and stepped closer to him. “I didn't mean that.”

It was so awful and she felt so bad when she saw the pain on his face that the tears she tried to hold back suddenly burst forth like water from a dam, running down her face. She wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him tight, hands clutching at his shirt, burring her face in his chest and talking between loud sobs, barely able to form words.

“Misha, I'm s-so s-sorry... I d-don't know w-what-...”

Misha sighed and closed his eyes, his chin resting on top of her head. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and shushed her.

“I know. It's fine, Lily.”

He slowly rocked her as her tears were soaking his shirt, and it soothed her immediately. She felt a bit better, feeling the warmth of his muscular chest and hearing his steady heartbeat and breath.

He pulled back just enough to take her chin in his right hand and lift it up so she could look at him, not breaking their embrace. His heart broke a little when he saw her crumpled face all wet from her tears. He could see how heavy the load of fear and guilt was in her reddened eyes.

He leaned down his head and left a quick but very soft kiss on her lips. She shut her eyes tight and leaned to kiss him back desperately, deepening it a little while cupping his face between her shaky hands.

She broke the kiss and sank into his blue eyes.

“I'm a monster.” She whispered holding his gaze.

He sniffed and smirked.

“I'll call you Nessy then... you sure smell like it.”

She had forgotten she was bathing in the smelly pond just a few minutes ago. She pulled back from his embrace very fast to smell her arm skin.

“Damn! I'll be back...”

She ran to the cabin and searched for the wipes she luckily carried everywhere, and after using almost all of them, she finally smelled better and went back to the beach where Misha was sitting next to the fire.

She sat next to him and stared at the fire, the yellow flames reflecting in her eyes.

“Mmh now you smell like... Maison's ass when I just changed her diaper.”

She snorted and took a stick to grill her first marshmallow.

“Why did you call your daughter Maison?” She asked while eating her candy.

“Because she will always feel like home to me.”

“Aw, that's cute!”

“Her middle name is Mary. To remind me of my first home...”

She stopped chewing to look at him. She couldn't believe he considered her mom's house like his first home... He was already a teenager when he moved in and he traveled a lot, but it was just hard to think he never considered any place like home before that time. She shook that thought from her head quickly before she could be overwhelmed by emotion. She had cried enough for the day.

“Why West then?”

“That I don't know... It just sounded great to us and we weren't inspired... Well, we had an original idea but it sounded too weird and I had sort of a bad experience with strange names so we kept it for his middle name.”

We...

She couldn't help the sting in her heart when he was talking about his family with such tenderness.

“What's his middle name?”

“Anaximander.”

Silence.

They could only hear the fire cracking and the crickets chirping.

Misha turned to glance at her with a smirk, proud of himself.

“That's... uncommon.” She cleared her throat.

“That's the point. He was a Greek Philosopher that Vicki, being the nerdy smartass that she is, liked a lot, and I found the name funny so we went with it.”

“Okay... Why not. At least there are good chances that he will forever be unique.” She chuckled.

“He still hadn't forgotten you promised to teach him how to play the piano by the way.”

She smiled, chewing on her second marshmallow.

“I will... I just hope he's more patient than you were!”

“Hey! I was the perfect student! I still can play the letter for Elise you know, I'm not completely rusted.”

Right... She taught him how to play the Beethoven piece when they were fourteen. He heard her play it once, on the grand piano in her grandma's house, and he liked it a lot. When he asked her what it was called and she told him it was named like her, he immediately wanted to learn how to play it for her.

That was Misha... always full of cute little attentions for her. How can you not fall for someone like that when you're an innocent and romantic teenage girl dreaming of true love?

“I'd be curious to hear that.” She gave him a sweet smile and he nodded.

“So... Talking about kids... You never wanted to be a mother?”

He had a gift to ask for the most embarrassing questions... She sighed and glanced at her feet.

"I did once... When it became serious with Peter." He frowned, his features twisting in something that almost looked like disgust.

“Really? With him?”

She gave him her biggest bitchface.

“He was good with me and we loved each other. We made a lot of plans. I just didn't... I never imagined he could be so stupid. Love is blind, obviously.”

Misha looked down at the fire. It was his turn to feel the sting in his heart now.

“Well it's a good thing you had no children then... Didn't he want that too?”

“Yes, he did. We tried but... I can't have kids.”

"You can't?" "No. When it didn't work, we went to the doctor and they found something wrong with me. Probably due to a shock or a surgical procedure in my childhood. They say I have like... 2% chances of conceiving. So basically none." He didn't know how to react. There was a time when he hesitated to have kids, but knowing the possibility was there was still reassuring somehow. Now that his kids were born, he couldn't imagine what it must feel like to know this could never happen, especially for a woman. "How do you feel about that?" She smiled weakly but it didn't reach her eyes.

"I'm... sort of okay with it. It was hard at first but I got over it, especially now that Peter is gone. Everything happens for a reason... I'm probably not shaped to be a good mom." Misha clenched his teeth. He could see she was bitter, but what she just said was unacceptable for him. "You're the granddaughter of Simon Hagen and the daughter of Mary... You definitely have the perfect parent gene. If it happened for a reason, it's because he is not shaped to be a good dad." She giggled bitterly. "I guess I'll buy a cat then!" "Do you still love him?" He asked, suddenly very serious. She frowned.

"I'm... not sure. My feelings are a bit messy those days.”

“You think?” He scoffed.

She suddenly remembered the night she spent with Peter not so long ago and couldn't look at Misha in the eyes anymore.

“Plus who cares? I can't forget nor forgive what he did to me... And yet look at me... I did the same to Vicki." Her eyes reddened and she looked down, once more feeling mortified.

Misha observed her sadly.

“Don't do that to me, Lily.”

She looked up to him and made eye contact, wondering what he was talking about.

“Don't push me away just because you're scared of what you fear could happen with my family.” “How can I live with myself knowing I'm destroying it? How can I look myself in a mirror after that, Misha? Why is it so hard for you to understand? I don't want you to lose more than you already have!”

He took a deep breath.

“If I wasn't married, would you consider resuming our relationship? Would you still want the things we wanted when we were sixteen? Would you surrender and stop running away?”

He took her hand and waited patiently for her answer, focusing on the orange glow in her eyes from the dying fire.

“You don't build anything with ifs.” She replied in a whisper.

“Answer the question. Please.”

He wouldn't give up this time, he needed answers, he needed to be sure she wanted the same as he did.

She hesitated but held his pleading gaze.

“Yes, probably.” She swallowed. “But-”

“No ifs and buts.” He interrupted harshly. He had his answer, it was all he needed to hear. She still loved him, he knew that, he could feel it, and one day she would say it back again.

He suddenly stood up and stepped on the fire.

“Geez, Misha! What the fuck?” She screamed, jumping from her spot and grabbed his arm to pull him away from it.

“We're out of marshmallows, we don't need the fire anymore. Or maybe you would prefer to let it burn all night and expend on the whole land?” He raised his eyebrow, amused by her unjustified fear.

“Oh... right. Sorry. Bad reflex.” She let go of his arm, happy that the dark night was hiding her blushing cheeks.

Misha walked towards the cabin and grabbed the sleeping bags, blankets and pillows.

“Time to settle for the night!”

He walked around the pond and through the bridge to reach the place where the willow tree was proudly standing, put one blanket on the ground, the two sleeping bags on it, settled the pillows against the trunk of the tree, one more blanket on top, and turned to look at Lily.

“Doesn't it look comfy?”

She had to admit it didn't look bad.

“Let's try it then.” She said laying down and leaning against the pillow.

“It is pretty comfy!”

Misha smiled and did the same, and they were soon silently lying at the foot of the tree next to each other. It was dark, but the floor lamp near the bridge gave them a weak glow so it wasn't too spooky. They could hear the frogs croaking near the water and the soft breath of the wind in the falling leaves of the willow tree above them. They were so thick that they could barely see the stars.

Misha rolled on his side and put his hand under his face to support him.

“Let's play.”

She chuckled.

“Aren't we a little old for this?”

“Never! There are still tons of things we don't know about each other. So... I'm gonna ask you a question, and then you answer and ask me one and so on, until we fall asleep, because I wanna know everything.”

“Oh god we really are sixteen again! Alright... Shoot.”

He decided to start easy, focusing first on what he didn't know anything about: her job.

“What's your favorite piece of music to play?”

“Oww, hard to pick only one!” She wined looking at the sky.

“Try!”

“Okay, let me think...” She thought about it a moment, trying to look for a piece she could play forever without being tired of it.

“Umm, I'd say Bohemian Rhapsody.”

“Nice choice! I didn't even know you could play that with an orchestra to be honest.”

“Oh God shame on you, it means I really need to take you with me to hear a few concerts.”

“Anytime.” Misha replied with a huge smile lightening his face.

Lily played with a lock of  her hair while she thought about her question.

“My turn! I'll go for the same kind of question: What's your favorite episode of Supernatural you played in?”

That was an easy one for Misha, good thing about being away for conventions was that he was pretty much ready for about every questions she could ask.

“The French Mistake. Because we all got to make fun of ourselves and it was hilarious. You'll have to watch it to understand what I'm talking about though.”

“Yeah, I will eventually have to buy a TV.” Lily laughed which gave Misha the time to ask another one.

“Next question: How many serious relationships did you have ?”

Oh boy... that was awfully direct.

“Uuuh... It's kinda hard to tell.”

Misha sat up straight, his eyes popping out.

“THAT many???”

Lily raised both hands.

“Nooo, no! Who do you think I am? I mean it depends on when you consider a relationship is becoming serious you know... I don't...” She sighed in defeat, not bothering finishing her sentence.

“Hey! Don't wimp out! I'm not judging. Promise.” He encouraged her, being very curious now.

“Alright, alright... I'd say... Two?”

That was kind of a surprise, he expected way more than this considering she wasn't married.

“Only two? Including me?”

“Well... yeah. Why? Do you think I wanna marry every guy I meet or what?”

“Geez I hope not. So me and... Peter? Is that it?”

“Hey that's way more than one question, you're cheating! Why do you wanna know anyway?”

Misha had actually tons of questions about everything that happened to her, but he couldn't ask everything in one night, could he?

“I don't know, I'm just curious I guess. I'm married for years and you're not so... since we're the same age I just imagined you had more than two serious relationships in your life, that's all.”

“Well you were wrong. It's rare enough to find someone you love and trust to spend your entire life with, even more rare to find a second one, I guess that's it for me, at least for this life.” Lily laughed nervously, staring down at her hands.

“What about the non-serious relationships then?”

“You're asking way to many questions, I think this is my turn, Mr Collins.”

She had a strange way to insist on his name everytime she said it, it almost sounded like she didn't like it.

“Alright, but don't think you're out with this one.”

Lily cleared her throat.

“Do you have any regret?”

Misha scoffed and shook his head.

“I always say you can't have regrets, you have to learn from your mistakes, but yeah... I regret filming Karla, I regret insisting with my mom to go to the beach instead of going back here earlier to give your grandpa his Christmas presents when he was still alive, I often regret Castiel's voice but that's my bad... I regret we didn't go to sleep on the beach on June 29th 1990 like I wanted to...”

June 29th 1990... The night of the fire. She completely forgot about that. Misha wanted to sneak out of the farm that night and go to the park's beach with Lily to celebrate the beginning of the summer holidays.

But Lily thought it was too cold and she preferred the coziness of her bedroom so she insisted to stay. She told him they could go another night, but fate decided otherwise.

She turned on her side to face him as he stopped talking for a while, lost in his memories.

“I'm not blaming you for anything, just to be clear.” Misha pointed out.

“I know. But where would we be today if it never happened? What would've happened in the morning when I would've come home to see a burnt house and my family dead because I left to have a good time with my boyfriend? Would we still be together? Would you be an actor today? Would you be happy and famous and loved by thousands of people?”

“We will never know. But if I'd have to chose between you and my career, Castiel would certainly not have my face today.”

That was a touching answer and a very emotional moment... until Lily heard something moving in the high herbs behinds them and froze. She gripped on Misha's forearm.

“Did you hear that?”

He did, but it was probably the wind, or maybe a harmless rodent and frankly, he didn't care. Lily looked at the direction of the noise and winced.

“I'm sure there's someone.”

“Seriously? Who would be here in the middle of the night, Lily? Just ignore it.”

“I don't know but... I saw a shadow moving...”

“Oh it's probably a ghost then. You can relax, I have salt.”

She looked at him confused.

“Salt?”

He chuckled.

“Don't worry about it. I work too much. Just come here and ignore the noises, it's just the wind, really.”

He extended his right arm and offered her to snuggle against him. She hesitated a few seconds, but when she saw he wouldn't pull his arm back, she gave in and laid against him, her head on his chest and her left arm on his waist. He wrapped his arm around her and stroked her hair away from her face gently.

She shivered against him, feeling the warmth of his body contrasting with the chill of the night, and he groaned weakly when she squirmed, enjoying her proximity a little too much.

“Lily... if you keep doing that I will have a serious manly problem...”

She froze a second but looked up to him before sitting up and getting inside the sleeping bag.

“Sorry.”

He did the same, sensing they would fall asleep soon, and they moved back to their snugly position right after.

Misha sighed. It was so pleasant to lay under the tree with her again, under the stars.

“Can we just stay like this forever?” He whispered.

She smiled weakly.

“I wish.”

He leaned his head a little to softly kiss the top of her forehead.

“I don't even want to think about what life would be without you again. I don't know how I survived.”

She closed her eyes, melting in his words. She just looked up and gave him a faint smile before tenderly kissing his cheek. Her whole body and soul wanted to say 'I love you' at that moment, but she couldn't resolve herself to say it. She had no right.

“Goodnight, Misha.”