#youdontknowme

GENERIC UNGENERIC/WHAT

this is what will break you and break me: I'll be gone. And as I imagine, you will care or you will not. Because, you never did. You never heard me. You never tried to be there like I needed, although you need me to be there for you when you are totally doing the opposite of supporting anything I need. You have these ideals in your mind in your skull about me as if you cannot be wrong, and no one can correct you, and so do I. So what is the point, there is none.

There is this conversation that continues, because what if this, and what if that, and essentially- you don't know me. And you never did, because you didn't want to. And the thing is; in the back of your mind you wanted to know me, and so did I. Except I'm lying? You enjoy seeing me hurting, you enjoy seeing me struggle and go through pain because you have this arrogance about you that you are not wrong about anything. And the thing is, that is not the case. I saw what I saw, I understood what I understood, and you did not. I am bitter. I am disgusting to myself because I do not like my responses to anything. I will learn to cut all of you off, and be away from all of you- as per request; and I will not be back.

He found her already there when he arrived and the house empty.

“Would you like some tea? I won’t be joining you because I already had some,” he says as they enter the house and head to the kitchen to put on a full kettle. “How was practice? Did it go well?”

She doesn’t speak, doesn’t move, and doesn’t even look at him, but stares blankly at the wall as he continues to animate, as if nothing was wrong. Or maybe he knew something was and was pretending it was all okay. By the time he had turned on the stove everything else was silent. Not even he bothered to speak, for he knew they were not okay.

“Babe, please tell me.” He already knew.

And just like that, she blurts out the truth. “I cheated on you.”

“I forgive you,” he says automatically.

She lets out a frustrated sigh and begins to pace around the room until she finds herself in his room.

He still hasn’t made the bed, she thinks to herself and takes a seat. Her eyes wander to his bedside table where she finds a framed photograph of them. It’s always a different photo in the frame but it is always of them. It is always the most recent photo they take. This time it is their homecoming picture, both of them all glammed up in a wacky pose.

Was she really going to give him up? She takes a closer look at him, and it would take a real person who truly knows him to see he was not happy.

I have to.

He slowly makes his way, stopping in front of her. He kneels down, looks up, and takes her hands, holding them gently, careful not to spook her.

“There isn’t anything you can do to make me hate you, babe.”

And that was all it took to make her burst into tears. He doesn’t embrace her; instead, he lets her release everything she needed to release. He wasn’t going to constrain her; he was going to let her go.

“I’m so sorry,” he finally says. “I loved you to the best of my extent.”

She continues to cry, gripping onto his fingers wrapped around hers. She starts to shiver but he still remains in his place.

She finally looks up to see his face in tears.

“I did love you, but when you gave me your whole heart, I could only give you half of mine.”

It goes real quiet after that — so quiet it is deafening to the ears. She can only stare at their hands covered in her tears. Her heart pounds so hard in her chest she thinks it will explode. It is really happening. They’re breaking up. But so soon.

“I was the one who was supposed to break up with you. Even that you took from me.”

“I’m sorry.”

When she stands up, she doesn’t say a word and quietly leaves the house, and he is alone.

He finds himself sitting on the bed, staring at a photograph of them. Taking it, and with one last look, he opens the frame and takes out two photographs — the one of him and her, and a hidden Polaroid of two boys about 13 and 12 years old smiling toward the camera.

She opens the door.

             “Hey babe.” He says.

She smiles at the visitor.

             “Hi Cheston.” She greets him with a kiss. “Come in.”

Needless to say, they didn’t talk for the remainder of the night, and just enjoyed in whatever ways they found useful and needed in each other. It’s what they’ve always done. Ever since they started sharing a lack of attention from their partner, they’d go to each other and get what they can. It’s like they were putting all their frustrating with every kiss, every embrace, every position possible, every moan, every scream until they were completely spent and not have the energy to do anything else. It was their outlet to stop every attempt to do what they wanted to do; break it off with their partner.

They lay in her bed, naked, sweaty and full of shame.

            “I love her.” Cheston says, after having a few minutes of silence to catch their breath. You could hear in his voice how much it pained him to say those words. “But she’s moving away.”

It takes Eleanor a few more minutes to say what she wanted to say.

            “I love him.” She said with the truth. “But he doesn’t want to stay.”

Staring at the ceiling, it was clear, that this is the last time they would share a bed together.

            “I’m gonna follow her.” He decided. “Where ever she goes, I’ll be there to support her.”

First look at You Don’t Know Me

A new trailer has been released for You Don’t Know Me, which is set to release June 17, 2022.